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2020.07.29 03:13 sauce_k1ng I [20M] messed up an LDR with an amazing girl [18F]

I will say now that this is a long read. I split it up into 3 labeled parts: part 1 focuses on the backstory, part 2 focuses on some self-reflection of our relationship, part 3 focuses on where I am now. My thoughts are very jumbled but.....If you actually take the time to read through all of it, I would appreciate any advice or opinions you have.
Part 1: Backstory
A year and a half ago, I met this girl over xbox that I really didn't think much of. We had played for like a week and then never really talked again until 7 months later when she invited me to her xbox party and we started playing regularly together. After a few months of flirting we had become pretty close. We knew a lot about each other and even though we both were pretty obvious with the flirting neither of us admitted it. For context she was 18/f and in highschool and I was 20/m and a third year college student. She lived in New York and I live in Indiana. My family has more money than hers (not that that was important in any way but...) and she has a really complicated family dynamic due to her divorced parents. At this point we snapchatted each other daily, multiple times a day and she had confided some really deep and personal trauma that she had been through to me.... in other words, we were incredibly close with each other.
After a few more months, she casually mentioned to me that she was going out with friends and that a younger highschool boy kept asking her out. She was not interested in the younger guy at all but the topic of her dating made me incredibly insecure and eventually I confessed my love for her. It was the most amazing thing in my life because she felt the same way and it felt like I was living a movie love story. She was really skeptical about the idea of dating because of the distance and after a few more weeks of convincing her, I got her to reject a guy in her hometown who had been trying to start a relationship with her for months as well. A month later, it took a lot of convincing but she agreed to let me drive up to New York (25 hr roundtrip) and visit her for a week. (This was just before coronavirus had become a big thing). Believe me when I tell you that it was the best trip of my life. She was fully and completely in love with me and I was even more so in love with her. I'll admit that she was my first everything...first kiss, first girl I ever saw naked, first girl I....touched. We never had sex because she wasn't ready and honestly neither was I despite me instigating it multiple times.
Unfortunately my mother was so pissed off about me driving up there that she literally flew to NY and begged me to leave early. I hated seeing my mother like that so I cut my trip short...something I regret incredibly. Because coronavirus had shut down both our schools, we played xbox with each other nearly daily for hours on end. We would video call when we were doing homework and would chat whenever we had the chance. The problem was that we would also argue a lot. She never realized how insecure I was because of the fact that I knew a lot of guys in her town wanted to sleep with her (whether she realized it or not) and sometimes she would take hours to respond to my messages and other stuff that isn't worth mentioning. I loved this girl with all my heart (and still do) but I was realizing that the frequency of our fights were taking a toll on her. She suffers from anxiety and would often be drained anytime we had a simple disagreement. I was also guilty of being manipulative on multiple occasions because she would often try to slow things down and just go back to being close friends but I would convince her that we would always be able to overcome any obstacles if we just worked together. Believe me when I say I would give up my life for this girl... she is like nothing words could describe. Despite her depression and anxiety, she somehow was the most bubbly, hilarious, beautiful, and genuinely unique human being I could ever imagine. She had a child like spirit that made me fall so deeply in love that I couldnt imagine ever letting her go.
One day, my mother had found out that my girlfriend had been sending me nudes when my dumbass friend brought it up on accident while my mom was in the room, and my mom fell into a severe depression. A day later I called my girlfriend (who I never mentioned this incident to) and she out of nowhere dropped a bomb on me and asked me why we were still in a relationship. I was in emotional turmoil from the nudes situation and this just felt like the final shot to my head. I had defended my girlfriend from the judgement of my family for months just for her to drop that on me. I won't lie, I reacted badly but she refused to even let me talk to her because she no longer wanted to hear my pleading or manipulation to stay with me. She then blocked me on snapchat, instagram, facebook, xbox, my phone number...everything except discord. A week after the breakup, I asked her why she was being so hard on me when she knew I only ever wanted to be the reason that her smile never left her face. She then blocked me on discord after I had pushed my luck.
At this point, her birthday was coming up and I had already bought her birthday presents prior to our breakup. I know I sound crazy but the day before her birthday, I drove back up to NY to surprise her and wish her a happy brithday and graduation. Yes, I showed up to her house uninvited, I know thats psychotic, and I know that screams stalker behavior. But you simply don't understand how much this girl means to me. She was everthing I ever wanted out of life and more. I would give up everything I own to just have her in my life again. She was very upset to see me and asked me to leave the same day even though I hadnt slept for 40+ hours and had nowhere to stay. I wish my stupidity ended there. A month later I made a new facebook account and sent a message to her mother (who I had the feeling liked me and wished things had worked out) telling her that I still cared very much for her daughter and wanted to work things out. I offered to fly both my ex and her mother to Indiana to visit for a few days and maybe establish a friendship at the least..... she entertained the idea for a second but then I got left on read....by her mother. And my ex gf blocked that facebook account too even though I never messaged her directly.
And I'm not giving this girl any credit here because she was amazing to me in every way and I was in no way the perfect companion I'm not proud to admit. She did so much for me to make me happy that I took for granted. She would put my happiness before her own because of my insecurity and I never told her how much it all meant to me. She told her whole family about me (something that I hurt her by never fully doing myself), she wore a ring I gave her for months in front of her friends and family, she posted things about us on snapchat, which to me meant so much whether she realized it or not. It was weird having someone not be ashamed to know me for once in my life. She had the biggest heart and I only ever wanted to protect it from all the hell in her life.
Part 2: Self-reflection of our relationship
Before you all say it, please spare me. I know my behaviors are obsessive, I know what I did was wrong and manipulative and I know I sound like a grade A psychopath stalker. She was in love with me, but her depression and anxiety made her skeptical and my insecure behavior made her fall out of love. And I know that theres "other fish in the sea" and that I'm just naive because she was my first. But I would give up my life to make that girl smile. She is the most precious thing I have ever seen and I wish I could just hug her and take all of the hurt out of her life. I was stupid for being so pushy and desperate post-breakup because I know I was just scaring her more. There's a lot more to this story but the main points are here. A girl like that is once in a lifetime. She is worth everything to me. I'd wait years for her if thats what it took. I just wish she'd give me hope, something to hold on to. I love her so much, and I know thats an overwhelming thing to say but its true.
I don't even care for a relationship or anything at this point. I just wish we could go back to being at least xbox friends. She never realized that I was more afraid of being in the relationship than she ever was. I just acted like it was everything I wanted because I knew that if she knew how afraid I was, our combined doubt would ruin everything. I never told her this but I had recurring nightmares when we were still together because she was always the last thing on my mind before I went to bed each night and I would wake up in cold sweats with my heart beating at 100 mph from the sheer anxiety going through me. I may live in america but she never realized that my foreign upbringing made me fear the living hell out of commitment, and again I never told her that. I just pretended to be confident. I wish she would realize that despite my psycho behavior, the only thing I wanted was a casual relationship... someone to talk to. I never had that. Not as a child, not in highschool. Never. I never had friends come over to my house, I never spent the night at a friend's house, I never went to parties... It was all new to me. It was never as serious as I had scared her into believing it was.
To me, we were never in a relationship. It was just a label I pushed on us to maintain our exclusivity. But the word scared the living hell out of her probably as much as it scared me. Those times when she'd try to break things off and go back to being friends, it never made sense to me because I couldn't picture us acting any differently towards each other despite the change in title. And I wasn't pushing the title of relationship/exclusivity because I didn't trust her... it was because I knew exactly what the other guys in her life would try to do if it weren't there... she was oblivious (or at least acted like she was for my sake) to just how much guys fell for her playful and beautiful spirit. I always saw her more as the best friend I never had... the person I could tell anything to and know that it would stay between us. She was my best friend (whether she realized it or not) before we were ever anything else.
She finally broke it off when she needed time and space to work on herself and her mental health. And I won't lie, at the time when it happened, I had begun to act unattractively clingy and I don't blame her at all. I didn't even realize how lame I was being until I realized how often I called her or checked up on her without cause. But I still didn't know how I was standing in the way of that. If anything, I only ever wanted to be there to support her and watch her grow into the beautiful and strong woman that I knew she was. If she needed space, it was hers. If she needed time, it was hers. I only wanted to be there alongside her to be that one person in her life who didn't give up on her when she expected me to the most. I wanted to be the one she trusted and relied on for strength when she was feeling low.
I wanted to be the one to motivate her to do better in life because relationships are more than just falling in love... it's about inspiring each other to become better versions of ourselves. She was never big on religion but it plays a huge role in my life and I used to stay up for hours late at night praying to God that he would take all of her burdens and troubles and put them on my shoulders instead, because I knew that I could handle anything as long as she was by my side. She used to have this stupid wallpaper on her phone of this word "meliorism." It's the belief that the world gets better more or less. I used to tease her for the cheesiness of it until I realized that that message was what I was trying to get across to her for the longest time ever. The idea that the depression and anxiety would perhaps always be there, but would diminish and be pushed aside by the love of all of those around her who cared so deeply about her. I hope she never changed that wallpaper.
Instead of telling her those things, I smothered her. I f**ked up and smothered her with attention because for some reason I refused to listen to my brain telling me to lay off and give the girl a breather. She said she could no longer return my love given her anxiety and depression let alone all the stupid things going on in the world right now. And I completely understand that. I just wanted her to ask me to wait for her because she knew that I gladly would have without hesitation. I'm just indifferent at this point. I'm not sad, I'm not happy... I'm just indifferent. I don't want her pity, I don't want anyone's pity because I'm not sad anymore. I don't even want a relationship. All of my fears of being in one came true. I just don't want to be her enemy. Don't want to be another reason she doesn't trust men. I just want to talk to her, but she'd rather pretend that I never existed. It hurts. I'd give up my life for this girl and it f**king hurts. As much as I want to, I can't bring myself to be mad at that girl. I just want to go back to being xbox friends. I miss my best friend.
She doesn't realize that I still go out of my way to try and do what little things I can to make her happy. Even though she blocked me on xbox, I still get notifications of when she is online for some reason. I realized that after playing with her more or less exclusively for the last 6 months, she didn't really have other friends to play with other than the guys that were more my friends than hers. Whenever I get the notification that she's online, I purposefully stop playing with my friends or leave their party so that she can feel comfortable to join them and play with them without worrying that I'm there. I'd rather see her happy playing with my friends than see her just get off xbox or play by herself.
--------- This is where my thoughts get extra jumbled and don't flow cohesively ----------
***each remaining paragraph in part 2 is a separate thought that has little to do with the last
Loving a female that has never been loved the proper way takes a lot of patience. I was stupid and rushed things. She doesn't realize that the way the people around her mistreat her and largely disregard her own desires is not okay. She's never been properly loved and I screwed up my chance to make her realize that she's worthy of so much more.
Our arguments were always the worst because we'd have them over text most of the time and she was always reluctant to answer my calls whenever we butted heads. It would drive me insane because I only ever wanted to hear the emotion in her voice and let her hear the sincerity in mine. More importantly, I wanted to be able to hear when I had gone too hard and reached the point of making her cry. I was never worthy of her tears and it would leave a knot in my chest for hours when she'd tell me afterwards that I had brought her to tears. I always thought our arguments were good in the long run because they were an opportunity for us to learn more about each other but I was so wrong for not taking her anxiety into consideration and the toll it was taking on her health.
She was the goofiest, funniest, most one of a kind person I've ever met. Being a premed double major made my life stressful at times and she was always that breath of fresh air that I could come back to at the end of the day and play a couple of games with. Do you ever hear a song that just...gets you going? Makes you feel motivated like you can do anything? Gives you that kind of energy that makes you feel like you could pull anything off? She was that tune to me. No matter how sh*tty life got, she was always that vibe that made me think "damn, I have a lot to be thankful for."
I romanticized the relationship as though I was directing a romantic film and casted us as the main stars. I was trying to do too much too soon and ended up pressuring her rather than reassuring her. I remember her telling me that she wanted to move to New Orleans for college so that she could go clubbing and have fun and enjoy the people and food there. And I guess I had no right to overwhelm her like this, but I always wanted to be the one to give her those opportunities that I had that she perhaps might not have had... not because I pitied her or anything like that or thought that I was better than her or her family in any way, but because it genuinely made me happy to imagine making those memories with her.
I'm in college. Enjoying street/nightlife, going on road trips to cedar point and kings island with friends, going out to concerts in big cities... stuff like that is normal for people my age, and I guess it was kind of hard to realize on my part that it wasn't perhaps as normal for a high school girl to be doing those things and as a result, I ended up just overwhelming her whenever I mentioned stuff like that. To me, I was just offering to take my best friend out for a good time to make some good memories, but I guess I never stopped to think about what those things meant to her. I guess that's another way I scared her into thinking our relationship was more serious than it ever was. My old roommate got engaged just the other day. A friend from high school is having a kid. This kind of stuff is... normal I guess at my age so I never understood why me asking if I could drive out and see her before the summer ended (obviously when we were still together) was such a big deal to her. I say I never understood why she was so afraid by how serious our relationship was, but the more I think about it, it couldn't be more obvious.
Despite me reassuring her that this wasn't the case, she thought that I was crazy enough to pull an engagement ring out of my pocket at any minute, when that couldn't be further from what I wanted. I live with my parents for f*cks sake, I'm still in college and am no where near reaching a point where I'd be financially able to support her let alone afford a ring in the first place. I never wanted to think about that kind of stuff because I was just happy with having someone there alongside me who cared about me. Of course I had every intention of doing those things one day but never any time in the near future. I can't imagine all of the anxiety I put through that precious girl's head.
For some unexplainable reason, I thought I knew what was best for her and would push my will onto her without really thinking about how my actions were taking a toll on her. I was beyond stupid and selfish and to think she stayed with me for as long as she did is a testament to how forgiving this girl's heart was. She probably doesn't remember but she actually told me once after I had made an unforgivable mistake that broke her trust (no, it had nothing to do with infidelity) that the major reason her mind was telling her to look past the incident was because she knew the true intentions of my heart.
She never knew this but she was a huge reason that I lost a lot of weight and was motivated to improve my appearance. The prospect of potentially meeting her in person (though it was highly unlikely at the time I made this decision) had motivated me to lose 20 pounds in the span of two months leading up to the first time I visited her irl. She had shown me pics of military dudes who'd flirt with her and I knew I had to get my sh*t together if I wanted to give her the best version of myself. I was embarrassed to admit it but it was a big reason why I pressured her so hard into letting me visit her that soon despite her reluctance... I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep the weight off and I didn't want to disappoint her (surprisingly enough I have tho).
Believe me when I say that I know this girl never owed me anything. I never believed that for even a second or ever wanted her to think that because I know my gestures (driving up there or money-wise) made her incredibly uncomfortable. I spent over $3,500 on her over the course of 3 months (only $700 was actually on her but the other 2.8k was on gas, a hotel, traffic tickets, and car repairs resulting from the long drives). And to be perfectly honest, I'd do it all again (minus the traffic tickets ofc and the whole showing up uninvited...yea) because I like the thought of imagining the smile on her face when she got flowers delivered to her house or recognized the thought behind a gift that I was giving her in person.
I mean no disrespect whatsoever when I say this because I know my family is lucky to be better off financially than others, but when I went to visit her the second time on her birthday, I spent the better part of an hour talking to her mother on the porch while girly was still sleeping and she told me that she was just going to give her daughter money for her 18th birthday. I could be completely wrong and most probably am but it made me feel bad inside to think that her own mother hadn't even put a little effort into making her 18th birthday a bigger deal than they had. And I don't mean that in a monetary kind of way (I've never had a birthday party or any of that jazz) but it made me feel bad that this precious girl whose senior year and graduation had largely gone to sh*t because of corona wasn't getting more attention for her milestone. I'm not going to pretend like the sh*tty gifts I got her were that great or anything but I had certainly had put a lot of time trying to come up with something more personalized/sentimental for her. Not to mention the fact that her half-brother who is half her age had been given four-wheelers in the past for his birthday and her own father never gave her one that was supposed to be hers....this was something she had been really upset about not even a month prior when we were still talking.
I always playfully annoyed her with my "do as I say but not as I do" mentality (I'm studying medicine even though my interest is in architecture) whenever I would encourage her to pursue her interests instead of worrying too much about college. As an arab, I kind of have that chauvinistic view built into me that I would be the sole provider for my family (hence why I chose medicine) and that my partner wouldn't really have to worry about college or work unless they wanted to. I always wanted her to go to college and have a backup plan of course, but more so I really wanted her to have the freedom to explore her talents and attempt a less conventional career as an artist (which she definitely has the talent for) or a twitch streamer (which she has all of the charisma for) with the confidence that she would always have my support, both mentally and financially, to pursue such a career. The last time I spoke to her in person, she also told me about her passion to become an actress but didn't have the resources to pursue such a path.
(I had actually spent time following my second visit looking for scholarships and programs in schools near her area where she could attend acting classes or theater programs in the fall if she so desired and made a list of them in what would have been the second letter that I had written to her following my second visit to NY where things greatly went to sh*t. While messaging her for the last time before she finally blocked me for good, she had said that she "didn't give a f*ck about my [first] letter"... so I intercepted the second one before it got delivered and she never knew about any of it.)
I had spent literal hours on websites prior to her birthday (and our breakup) trying to find decently priced gaming chairs, mics, LEDs, webcams, etc in her favorite colors for her so that I could show her my support and encouragement to pursue those interests. The delivery delay due to corona was the only thing holding me back from okaying some of those purchases... but I guess it was probably for the better.
I hate the way I've talked about her throughout this post as though her life was just this hole of despair where she was just waiting on someone to come in and make it all better. That's not the case at all nor did I ever have that mindset at any point during our relationship. If anything, my own ego is what drove me to sort of assume that role subconsciously. And I know a lot of the times it sounds like I was trying to "buy her love." Also not the case. I feel good inside when I can spend my money on other people and nothing made me feel better than spending money on her.
I didn't exactly make my own healing process any easier. Anytime I open my photo album on my phone, I see a picture of her staring back at me and I can't help but start scrolling through the hundreds of them that I have on there. Pictures of her beautiful face, screenshots of some of the adorable things she would say in the middle of our conversations, goofy videos of her dancing while drinking chocolate milk...it's hard to let go of those memories that had made me happy for so long.
Part 3: Where I am now
I just feel weird now, I guess. I'm not really sad but just disappointed with the lasting impression I left on her. I don't think she realizes that it's not as serious as I made it seem. I acted desperate, needy, lost without her. Of course I was depressed that I was losing my best friend, but I definitely overexaggerated how I was feeling. I had begun to rely on her for happiness and I never really realized until she was no longer a part of my life. And for some reason, I would convince myself that it was the end of the world leading me to do the stupid things I did (i.e. pestering her nonstop when she needed space, going to NY uninvited, messaging her mother, etc.).
I know I'll be fine and that everything will be okay after a little time has passed and I get busy with school again, but unfortunately I can't take back those stupid mistakes I made. I have no idea what the hell I was thinking immediately after we had just broke up... why I kept messaging her, why I still didn't just f*ck off and give her a little space, why I thought I had a bomb strapped to my chest and had to fix things with her as soon as humanly possible. Just thinking about the sheer psychoticism of the things I did makes me ashamed for scaring the living hell out of that precious girl. I'm honestly glad she blocked me... I needed it to help get her off my mind. Of course I still miss my best friend and wish she'd reach out but I doubt she'll ever care enough about me to do so at this point, which is thoroughly justified.
I'm embarrassed to look back and think of all the pathetic things I did over the last two months. I'm done being that person. I'm done being immature. If only I had got my sh*t together sooner rather than later and acted like a man that she would be proud of being around. As someone that both my family and close friends rely on heavily more mental strength, I feel disgusted with myself for letting them down and showing them this ugly, defeated side of myself.
I still think about her from time to time when something sparks an old memory, still have some of my old nightmares on bad days, but that beautiful girl never owed me anything. I still hope deep down that she'll reach out one day and be my gaming friend like before, but I guess that's completely up to her. I'm just glad that I've reached the point where I can look back on what I've done and realize how incredibly stupid and immature I was acting. I feel bad for what I did to that poor girl... hopefully she has already reached a similar point where she can look back and realize that it was never as serious or intense or even scary as I had made it all seem. I'm sure she has. She was always stronger than me in that way.
Despite her hatred for me, I know she knows that I'd never do any of that psycho stuff again... never drive back up to NY, never make stupid comments like "I'd rather die than not be with you," never overwhelm her with words like "I love you", none of that dumb sh*t. I was naive and I'm past that. But that doesn't change the fact that I still miss talking to her while playing my favorite games after a long day.
I really don't know what came over me to write this all here, but it kind of feels good I guess. It's probably best that she focuses on her first year of college and I focus on my last. With classes being online due to covid, I'm sure we'll both have more free time than we know what to do with. If she ever changed her mind, and I know she won't, she knows how to contact me. If you've actually kept reading to this point, thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
If you asked me how many times she has crossed my mind, I'd say only once, because she never really left.
**TL;DR; : I [20M] messed up a long distance relationship with an amazing girl [18F]. Don't be me.
submitted by sauce_k1ng to LongDistance [link] [comments]


2020.07.19 22:31 throwaway26565995982 Free live webcam chat with

Hi everyone,
I don't know why I picked up today to tell this story, it's been a while since I've been thinking about it though. Today I'm a 24yo man, I'm generally happy with my life and I think I know myself very well, but from times to times the shit that happened years ago resurfaces to haunt me. I also feel like online abuse is not often talked about on reddit, perhaps because it's not viewed as being as impactful as physical abuse.
When I was around 10 I joined an online forum to talk about a passion of mine. I was promptly welcomed by the most active members of the forum, including Pedo1 (age ~35). He started chatting with me in private the very day I joined, and offerred to send me gifts and such. It was great to have a lot of friends so suddenly ! The guy even called me "little brother" and shit. How cute.
I'd say from an adult perspective the nature of Pedo1 was pretty clear from the start, he asked about sexually related topics, if I masturbated and also gave me the addresses of porn sites. Because I thought that was normal to talk about such things, I talked about my sex drive with other members of the forum. This will be important later.
One day he introduces me to his "cousin" who is coincidently a girl of my age, I chat with "her" and we start "dating online". Strangely enough I always showed myself on webcam but "she" never did. One day she asked if I could show my genitals on the cam. I'm not sure if I did it once or multiple times but I know it didn't feel right at the time. "She" showed me hers through her avatar picture, which I thought was strange, why didn't she just send it to me ? And why through her avatar, like all your contacts can see it, no ?
In the mean time the life on the forum goes on, one time we meet IRL with other members, as I'm young I'm with my mother and Pedo1 hosts us. He shows me some porn vids, nothing unexpected from him considering the discussions we've had.
At some point I ask to "the cousin" of Pedo1 if we can phone each others because I find it really strange at this point. Nobody calls, as expected. "She" later sent a mail to say that her parents promptly made their family relocate for some reason (seriously ? that's the best excuse you could come up with, you shitbag ?). I knew all this was bullshit so I stopped talking to Pedo1. He later sent a mail saying he missed me, coincidently once again his "cousin" mails me something similar from the very same IP address, which is the one from his work.
Well I'm not entirely sure why, I guess I missed the forum and all that (home was a shitshow so this was a good escape), and came back at some point. We invited Pedo1 to come spend a few days at home once. I guess it's around that time that Pedo2 (age ~50) joined the forum. He had quite a strange personnality and didn't really share the passion the forum was about so people didn't like him much, but I became friend with him. One time he invited people from the forum to his home, nobody came except Pedo1 and me (my mom trusted him at this point, I think I was 12 or 13). Fortunately for me, they didn't do anything to me but both acted weird as fuck (mostly Pedo1), being extra gentle with me. Very creepy few days. I talked about the story of Pedo1 to Pedo2 and he made me accept what happened, so going back home with Pedo1 was very weird at this point.
After Pedo2 talked about it to the admin and some of the more active members of the forum. Since Pedo1 was an important and beloved member of the community, and since Pedo2 was not liked much and I was a weird teenager talking about my sex drive to other members, they more or less came to the conclusion that I made up the fucking story and decided to ban Pedo1 and 2, and me.
I continued to chat a lot with Pedo2, just like Pedo1 he talked about a lot of sexual stuff, wanted to know when I masturbated and he masturbated as well at the same time. Even said shit like "oh you didn't wait for me ?", he always wanted to chat late til the very minute before I went to sleep. He even wrote fucked up fictions telling the story of boys masturbating together, thinking about their middle school teacher. He was generally very manipulative, I hated being controlled like that but didn't want to deceive him. One time we went to his home with my mom and while she was asleep, I was playing video games in his living room and he was trying to force me to give me a foot massage. After I repeatedly say "no" he finally stopped, probably fearing that I would wake my mother up if he went on. That's the only occurence of physical contact he made with me, and that's already too much. I remember him breathing deeply and having a lewd look in his eyes.
When I was 14 I started being fed up with his shit and decided not to reply to him. He tried to phone to my house but my mom usually told him I wasn't available (I didn't really explained what happened to her). He tried to make contact by mail a few years back but that's it. Never heard about him or Pedo1 since then.
Well that's the end. I hope at least one person will read it entirely, as expected I indeed lost myself into details. That's a story about adults being immature, stupid, abusive. People who never got their shit figured out, neither the pedos nor my parents who failed me. My father who was the only one who had a working internet connection at the time and never monitored any of the shit I was doing, or tried to tell me to be careful. And my mother who's been so freaking oblivious to all what was happening right before her eyes. Like, seriously ?
Pedo1 and Pedo2 are pieces of shit of human garbage. I think I was not the only one to be abused by them. As far as I know they're still completely free and now that I think I am strong enough I'd like to do something about it. I don't know if Pedo2 did anything illegal, but Pedo1 certainly did and I'd bet he recorded everything and still got it on his computer. I don't know where to begin though, I don't want to involve my family in it.
Anyway, thanks for reading, if you went through the whole story.
submitted by throwaway26565995982 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


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2020.07.14 21:52 bensaul I gave the GRE at home last week and got my score report today (170Q, 170V, 5.5 AW). Here's my experience.

I gave the GRE at home on July 5th. I was a bit anxious about the logistics because it was raining where I live, which typically makes my internet behave unpredictably. However, everything worked out well and the entire experience with ProctorU was very smooth. I showed my face and my passport for ID to my laptop's webcam for a photograph, after which a chat window opened to connect with the proctor, who verified my photo ID. She asked me to show a full view of my room, on and below my worktable, my testing materials, and my cell phone and watch to verify they were placed at a distance. Once the checks were completed, she used her credentials to log into the test session on the ETS browser and asked me to begin.
The test itself was average, slightly more difficult than the ETS free practice tests, but definitely easier than the practice test in the Magoosh book. The first verbal section was difficult and made me worry about the rest of the test, but the other verbal sections were easier, and looking back, I'm guessing the first one was the research section. Everything went by smoothly and once I was done, I notified the proctor, who asked me to close the ETS browser and then end the session.
With regard to prep, I studied for about 5 weeks and the main resources I used were the ETS and Magoosh books, the Mcgraw Hill 8 test book, Greg Mat's YT channel, and the ETS website. I used the official ETS book as a guidebook/textbook, mostly to revise math. For vocabulary, I went through a Quizlet compilation of about 27 vocabulary lists by Greg Mat that I found while scrolling through this sub, supplemented by hunting through the Magoosh book for words. I made a list of difficult words that I didn't know and went through them again on the morning of the test. For practice, I did the exercises and most of the practice tests in all three books mentioned above, as well as the two free tests on the ETS website. For AW, I watched Greg Mat's walkthrough videos for both essay types and then used the ETS ScoreItNow service to review 4 practice essays in the last couple of days. I gave another exam earlier this year which was heavily essay-based, so I was already in the mindset of speedy reading, creating an outline, and fast writing.
I've lurked here on occasion while preparing for the test and if not for this sub, I wouldn't have learned about GregMat or found an accessible 800 words-list which helped me to polish my vocabulary. So, here's to hoping that this proves helpful to others on this sub and that I can help pay it forward.
submitted by bensaul to GRE [link] [comments]


2020.07.02 18:44 HusseinA07 With live free chat webcam

First, let me thank everyone on this sub, you guys are the best. Throughout my learning process i kept checking this sub for information. Below was my study plan 1. I read almost all the posts on this sub with my pen and paper in hand, i picked all relevant points from each person’s success story and i was able to learn a lot from it. Majority said the following
a. Using precast( best idea ever) b. Focus more on change management, stakeholder, risk and procurement. c. Use Joseph Phillip Udemy course

  1. Having gathered this facts here, i started with Joseph Phillips udemy course, its was about $20 or less. Listened to it at 1x5 speed. No jotting, just paying attention. After every chapter i would do the quiz and jump straight to the same chapter on Rita and just do the quiz straight up. Per chapter as i was reading, thats like approximately 50 quizzes. I would review the ones i got wrong glancing through that chapter on rita’s book and retake the quizzes to be sure i grasped the idea. I did this for all the knowledge areas.
  2. After i was done with all the chapters i went back to re-read change management, stakeholder, schedule, risk and procurement again to ensure i understood it more in dept. used rita for this. I didn’t listen to the blitz review or do the final two exams on Joseph Phillips since i didn’t need it for my 35 contact hours.
  3. After this i purchased precast about two weeks to the exam. I started with the timed learning questions of 50 and 100 after about 200 questions my average was barely 60%. Then panic mode set in. Took a whole day off to reset and then reviewed all the questions i got right and wrong to understand if i gambled the one i got right and understand why i chose that particular option that was wrong. After this i started another 50 set questions and improvement came to about 65%. Then i did a quick math and realized that short quizes were not a reflection of Once knowledge after you have covered the whole chapters. for example, for me to get 70% in a 50question set i needed 35 questions right. Thats translates to no more than 15wrong answers. While to get 70% in a 200 question set means i need to get 140 questions right and no more that 60questions wrong. After i realized this i thought i couldn’t get a whole 60 questions wrong in a 200 question exam i take in a single sitting because over 200questions, the following happens
a. You get into a rhythm b. You see similar questions c. Confidence grows once your in the rhythm.
After understanding all of this i went straight for the 200 questions under exact exam conditions and got 75%. After seeing this result coupled with my simple analysis, confidence level was up the roof. However the real work started. I would review the whole 200questions again to understand the once i got right and the rationale for choosing that answer and the ones i got wrong. The review takes me whole day or two over an average of 6-8hours. Its takes that long because i read the part i am confused/got wrong in the book again.
  1. I took took exam 2 and i got 79%. Took another whole day or two to review all the questions. Less i forget i also read the explanations for the wrong answer choices in the precast as i realized it could be the right answer to another question.
  2. Four days to exam, i took the PMI free exam with a timer under strict exam conditions and got 68%. Based on what everyone in this sub said that score was good enough for me. I took my time to review all questions both right and wrong.
  3. Once i was done with that review i was just done reading. One mind still wanted me to do at least one or two more precast full exams, but it was less than two days to exam and i didn’t want to stress my brain
  4. Final preparation, started reading my notes to get a full understanding of all project documents and what they do, got all the answers by searching the soft copy of the PMBOK i had .Also watched the Vargas video a couple of times and i was done. A whole day to the exam i didn’t read anymore and just tried to black out my brain, what i mean is i try not to remember anything PMP and trust my retention skills.a night before the exam i was even watching Netflix hahaha. After that i slept for about 10hours even though in my dreams i was seeing Stakeholders, risks etc hahaha. Woke up on the exam day from my bed 2.5hours to exam. I had 3 loaves of bread with juice and fish. Then took bananas. This helps give the brain the oxygen it need to function to full capacity. 30minutes before exam i logged-in which was 11:00am. Concluded the checkin procedure and about to start exam when screen went blank. I was just sitting there starting at my screen till 1:00am. All through this time my webcam was on so i had to just sit still. I was soo exhausted. At 1:00pm system rebooted and i was out of the onVue software. Tried their customer service chat, no response . I stood up and went to the living room where i picked up my phone. Apparently they have been calling my phone. Came here on the sub to rant, read my post on OnVue Nightmare. After that post, my instinct just said i should try logging in again and boom exam was starting. Wheeew. At that point i had given up on doing the exam that day so i was gobsmacked.
Then exam started. First 10-15 questions i had no idea. I was confused and tired from the initial two hours of just sitting. After question 15. I took a pause for 5minutes while my time was counting. Closed my eyes and took deep breaths to pump oxygen to my brain and relax my body and mind. I also needed to relax to gain confidence. After 5minutes. I continued the exam, at that point there was no slowing down. At question 89 i had 145minutes left with 10 flagged questions. I reviewed about 4 of them before i decided i wasnt reviewing them again because i run the risk of choosing the wrong answer after initially haven choose the correct one. Submitted and went on my 10 minutes break. Once break started i jumped into a cold shower, for 4minutes. Dried up,took some fish and bananas with a sip of water and i was set for the second part. Ended the break with 1minutes to spare and just jumped straight into it. Finished question 200 with 25minutes to spare. I had flagged 15 questions. Went back to re-read those questions and understand why i chose those answers. After reviewing about 8 i stopped reviewing as i wasn’t gonna change any answer plus i was exhausted with red eyes. Submitted with 14minutes to spare and got the congratulations message. LESSONS LEARNED 1. Trust your instinct, when reviewing questions. It happed to me on Precast, having chosen the right answers and changing it to the wrong one during review
  1. Keep instilling confidence in your self. Its needed to pass. I realized this early on during precast. With low confidence i chose the wrong answers. When i submit and start reviewing, i see the obvious right answers i just shake my head because i know the question but didn’t just see that answer during the test.
3 exam was a combination of precast and the PMI free exam
4 understand the question well e.g. What should the project manager do- most times this means what is the solution to the stated problem. By knowing this you might straight up eliminate 3 answers or what is the PM supposed to do first- this most likely 8/10 would require updating a document like Issue log, risk register, stakeholder register, management plans etc or what should the PM have done- meaning as the PM what would you have done to ensure that problem didn’t occur.
  1. KEYWORDS- this helps gets a couple of answers right. Eg. So if i read the question and confused i look for keywords. If i see hight level risk or requirement i know its project charter. I need to stop here, its getting too long. Happy to answer any question. And good luck to anyone preparing for the exam.
submitted by HusseinA07 to pmp [link] [comments]


2020.07.02 01:39 SgtKetchup Free live webcam chat with

Hi folks,
I've been lurking for a while and have been working to produce a large virtual Gala for our theatre, and wanted to report back to the group on what worked, and what didn't, and the tech used. This is a very complex/expensive solution compared to many others, but it gave us a very high-quality event.
We were looking for the gala to have a highly-produced feel, think more like a TV news broadcast than like a Zoom panel - motion backgrounds behind split-screens, managing arrangement of panelists, side-by-side of multiple panelists and recorded content, title overlays, the whole 9 yards. However, we were also committed to a live production, rather than a pre-recorded presentation. While a significant portion of the production was pre-recorded clips, we wanted all the hosts to be live, live reactions to guest chat, and live discussion. The format for the gala in years past has involved live "voting" (via donations) over cell phone, and we wanted to retain that as well, with a live leaderboard/scoreboard being displayed. We also wanted everyone to be at their homes, including all production staff - no "production studio" or any other gathering place.
For choice of platforms, most of the common culprits (Zoom, Streamyard, Livestorm, etc) were ruled out because they didn't offer the customization options we wanted, or imposed limits on the number of video clips, length of clips, or low numbers of guests (we wanted 6 total). We also very much wanted a service that lets us cue up multiple changes to the feed, and execute them with a single TAKE button. We ended up choosing between OBS (open-source Open Broadcaster software, which runs on a personal PC) and Easylive.io, which offers studio-quality video management and switching via the cloud. We selected Easylive because we didn't like the idea of our single point of failure (the main control machine) being a consumer-grade desktop machine, running on a standard residential internet connection - since the control PC is your biggest point of failure, we wanted it to be as robust as possible.
While very expensive, Easylive rents you a private virtual server from which you control and stream your broadcast, for an hourly rate. Any number of operators can login to the server, so we had 2x operators running video switching/overlays live, another running the timer for guests, and a backup operator ready to step in at any moment. We were also able to let a Stage Manager and a Talent Manager view all the feeds (a feature called Multiview) so they could make sure guests were framed properly, track clips, and call cues. You can run up to 8 media sources at once (not including images/overlays) - we did 6 guests plus 2x video clip slots, which we rotated in and out for a total of 18 video clips. While you cannot "cue" the entire broadcast the way you might in Qlab (down to a single GO button), you can save an unlimited number of Scenes, which you toggle through via Hotkeys. With some trial and error, this worked well for us - the stage manger would call Hotkey numbers alongside talent cues.
We used Youtube for our primary stream destination, distributing an Unlisted youtube link, and used/moderated the chat alongside the video. We spun up an AWS Elemental stack for a simulcast backup feed, pushing through MediaLive->MediaPackage->Cloudfront, with a simple frontend hosted in S3. If there was some error with the Youtube feed, folks had the link to the backup and were able to pickup where they left off.
For backend communication, we started a private Mumble server in AWS EC2 and our crew and talent were able to login, join particular channels (like Clear-com), and we had low-latency VOIP to everyone. Again, with some trial and error, we were able to setup a structure for the SM to communicate with each party-line as needed, and a Talent Manager speaking in-ear to each onscreen guest to cue them to start/stop, communicate important chat messages, updates, and large donations. Most folks joined Mumble via the desktop client, but there are also iOS and Android clients that worked well.
What worked well:

  • Distributed infrastructure. Between programming, rehearsals, and even during the event, everybody (including the primary video ops) had to reboot their computers for one reason or another, had crashes, internet blips, or what have you. If we had run OBS on any particular computer, we would have had a full-stop failure of the stream.
  • Youtube created a very low-friction experience for our (older) audience. We had a tech support hotline setup to handle folks who had trouble, but they received less than 10 calls. Everyone already had an account, and easily stepped into the chat. The chat feature is easy to moderate, easy to delegate moderation abilities, and worked well. The stream distribution was fairly solid.
  • Distributed production team - we had a total of 18 people on the backend of the stream, running in production, managing voting/donations and such, marketing (texts/emails/chat announcements), manning donation or tech support phone lines - it was quite a crew. But it enabled us to handle a huge number of tasks, and our audience felt just as taken care of as they would have on-site. In reality, our team was scattered across 5 states in 2 time zones, which was a very trippy experience.
  • VOIP-as-Clear Com to enable us to have a full production team, speaking easily to each other, worked very well. Mumble itself worked fine, but I would suggest also testing alternatives like Teamspeak - the Mumble Mac client is hot garbage, and enough of our talent had Mac computers that it caused us a number of problems. It felt just like real tech, with cues, Holds, god-mic announcements, and even gathering in a channel called "Green Room" on 15's and pre/post rehearsal.
What didn't work:
  • Guest hardware. We requested that every live guest hardwire into their router with Ethernet, and use wired headphones to listen/speak. We checked in with each in advance, did one-on-one setup sessions, and had cables and adapters shipped out to whoever needed them. Even then, we ran into a number of issues ranging from cheap headsets that leak signal between the speakemicrophone (causing an echo), Bluetooth connection/disconnection/interference issues, dongle-mania, software issues, power plugs... the list goes on and on. Every time we'd get a guest squared away, something goes wrong with another. Allow plenty of time for troubleshooting, multiple sound checks, and design your show in a way that failure of a guest does not stop the show. Even the host - have a backup plan. Have someone on staff dedicated to troubleshooting if you can. Prior to this event, I had seen companies like PRG creating ready-to-ship Pelican cases with laptops/webcams/adapters/etc already setup, for people who are being presented remotely - I thought those were silly, but I would happily pay hundreds for those now.
  • Mac Computers. I don't mean to berate the mac-vs-PC issue, but 90% of our computer troubles were Mac-related. As a windows guy myself, I had difficulty troubleshooting this with people, but it seems many of the things that make Mac's "easy" just gunk up this process - auto-selection of microphone and sound outputs, automatic level adjustment and noise reduction, automatic network adapter selection, security popups... it's a chore getting Mac's to "stay put" once you get them setup correctly, and we just didn't have that problem with PC's.
Other issues we had:
  • Copyright claims on Youtube. Youtube scans your uploads with ContentID and will match absolutely any music clip. While in an uploaded clip that can just affect your monetization status, detection in a live feed can lead to your stream being taken down. They picked up 5 seconds of "Level Up" played in a clip from TikTok, 3 seconds of "We are the Champion" in the background of a some B-roll of an old production, and even matched music we had purchased sync rights to. The short answer, it doesn't matter if you own the rights or not, or if the clip is fair use or not - Youtube will find it, and may pull your stream. Their only solution is for you to dispute the copyright claim after-the-fact, which doesn't work for live streams. We had to replace all music, including music we had purchased legitimate sync-rights licenses to, with royalty-free music we purchased.
  • Stream Stability - I am going to contact my rep at Easylive, but even though we were running well below their advertised specs, we did run into some stability issues during our rehearsals and event. They advertise 1080p60 with "unlimited" inputs, and we ran into issues at 720p30 with only 8. They allow you to monitor the resources on your server, and even 720p30 was pushing the CPU over 90%.
  • We used Givesmart for our donations/auction platform, but their support refused to work with us to accommodate platform adjustments or tweaks required for the virtual experience. For instance, we were forced to pre-render the Leaderboard on another AWS EC2 server because they didn't support any other way to get the Leaderboard into Easylive or OBS. We had to hack together a system of registration that would deliver the Youtube link to ticketholders, which was especially difficulty for people who bought tickets close-in to the event. Givesmart is well setup for in-person events, but have not yet adapted to virtual.
Overall, the event came off clean from the audience perspective, and we were able to handle any issues that arose before they went live. I'm not sure how exactly what attendance was, or how our donations were, but folks were happy with both, and I think our net profits will be comparable to a typical in-person event.
I could keep rambling but this is plenty long enough already. I am happy to answer any questions or provide links to anything. I'll update this post with any additional thoughts I have... thanks all!
submitted by SgtKetchup to techtheatre [link] [comments]


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submitted by ProjectVRD to SuperHotUKDeals [link] [comments]


2020.06.28 09:03 xyster69 Version 8 just released; see the change log here.

Version 8 has just released. This change log contains some updates for v7 as well, as v7 was mainly silent infrastructure improvements.
As always, please clear your browser cache in OBS and in your browser if there are problems. This version is not backwards compatible. If problems persist, the previous version can be found at https://obs.ninja/v7
The focus on Version 8 was on UI/UX improvements, bug fixes, and adding some simple feature request.
For reference and details, all the available advanced URL parameters can be found on the updated wiki page: https://github.com/steveseguin/obsninja/wiki/Advanced-Settings
Change Log

  • There are new shortened aliases for most the URL parameters. &view=abc can be typed as &v=abc now, for example. This was done to both allow for obfuscating the URL parameters for links given to guests, but also to allow for shorter links. See the Wiki for details.
  • There is a password feature now. It applies to both rooms and stream IDs. It's a bit crude at present, but if you add &password to the URL as a viewer, director, or pusher, your room and streams will be made inaccessible to anyone who does not also enter the exact same password. Passwords can be entered as the parameter value or you will asked via a popup message prompt.
  • The &secure feature was fixed and improved so that it can support many of the other newly added features. It is useful for one on one conversations that require extreme privacy precautions. It should be compatible with the password feature as well.
  • Added language translations were added thanks to user contributions. The translation system in general was improved and more tools are available to make updating and adding new translations easier. Portuguese and Italian were the newest additions.
  • &icefilter=tcp was added to let users filter out ICE candidates that are UDP-based. This is mainly for debugging and testing for those deploying their own TURN servers.
  • If a user on macOS tries to use OBS.Ninja inside OBS v25 or Streamlabs, they will get an error message with help information. By adding &streamlabs to the URL, that error page will be removed and macOS users using StreamLabs can still try to do so.
  • Although persistence links exist, as per user request I've created the &sticky parameter option that will let a user store their session parameters. The next time the user visit OBS.Ninja, they can auto-load those previous settings, including push and room IDs, from a saved cookie file.
  • If a user fails to connect to the TURN server, which seems to happen occasionally for users that require it, the system will now auto-retry. This mostly fixes an issue with Group chat where not all guests load for all other guests.
  • Audio echo cancellation can be manually and individually turned on or off now via &aec URL parameters. The same goes for auto audio gain (&autogain) and audio noise reduction (&denoise)
  • &webcam and &screenshare will hide either the screenshare option or the webcam option for guest, when appended to their invite links. It helps funnel them to the options you want.
  • &maxvideobitrate can be used by a stream publisher; it sets a hard limit for a viewer so they cannot request a video bitrate higher than that of specified. 2500-kbps is the default.
  • For those wishing to limit the number of viewers of their stream, there is also the &maxviewers now. If the max is hit, other view requests will be ignored. It takes about 10 to 20 seconds for a disconnected users's connection to fully drop, so if you are at max already, you may need to retry connecting 20 to 30-seconds later.
  • If you press CTRL (or Command) AND Left Click your own local video during a stream, you will be shown stats that say how many connections you have; both inbound and outbound streams.
  • If you press CTRL (command) and Left Click on a remote video you are viewing, you will see added stats now; bitrates, but also the type of video codec being used and packet loss data. High packet loss can result in rainbow puke looking video; using VP9 can help resolve that.
  • Fixed a bug with custom bitrates when used with the VP9 video codec. VP9 with custom bitrates will use up a lot of CPU power, but it tends to not suffer from rainbow puke.
  • You can specify the designed audio bitrate now, individually, using &audiobitrate. 60-kbps is the default for mono, while 256-kbps is the default for stereo. 1024-kbps is the coded hard limit.
  • &scale can be used as viewer of a stream; it will request the publisher send video at a scaled down resolution. If the publisher has their max resolution set to 1080p, and you as a viewer set &scale=50, you will only receive the video at a max resolution of 540p; 50% of what is available. This can help give the OBS-side viewer more remote control over resolution and frame rates.
  • &mirror and &flip are commands for the viewer that flips and mirrors the video playback.
  • &optimize, if used in OBS, will have videos that are not active scale down in resolution and bitrate to 600kbps or so. Instead of disabling the Browser Source when not active, you can use this to just reduce the bitrate and CPU load, and it will automatically recover to full bitrate/resolution within about a second of being active again. By default, this feature is off.
  • The TURN server can be forced off with &turn=off now
  • &sink and the electron app lets you specific output audio devices.
  • &channels=8 will tell OBS.Ninja how to upmix audio tracks. This is useful when used in conjunction with &channeloffset
  • &channeloffset=N lets you shift audio from channel 1 to channel N. This is useful for routing audio from Chrome or the electron capture app directly to a specific channel on a virtual audio capture device, like Voicemeeter on Windows.
  • The auto-mixer (for group scenes) works better now; about 30% more efficient with spacing videos out, although it is still optimized for 16:9 aspect ratio videos mainly.
  • Vertical video in the director's room is handled better
  • It's possible to record multiple videos in the director room at a time now; not just one. If you run out of RAM though, the system will crash, so this is still considered experimental.
  • You can start the recording of several videos in the director room at once by holding down CTRL (or command) when pressing "Record" on each video. Defaults bitrate to 2500-kbps per video in this case.
  • The faux FullScreen icon is improved; lots of changes related to that
  • You can now actually full screen videos natively
  • New icons are used; transparent and line-based is the new theme there.
  • A HANG UP button has been added to streaming page now. Press it and all the connections close and the page clears.
  • You can create faux chat rooms by using a combination of multiple view IDs and a push ID. I fixed some bugs related to this feature. https://obs.ninja/view=guest1,guest2,guest&push=guest4
  • Faux chat rooms now work with custom bitrates; normal group "rooms" though have a bitrate that cannot be set by guests themselves.
  • Guests can no longer pause videos.
  • Your own local video stream does not show the control bar anymore -- this prevents guests from unmuting themselves and creating feedback during live streams
  • Stats get updated ever 3 seconds, instead of 5; Buffer sync code also updates more often now. Videos that are not playing also will auto-play with checks every 3 seconds. (user interaction is still needed to trigger this in Chrome)
  • Got rid of the large glow around videos and replaced it with a thin border. This thin border can be used for the tally light feature. In OBS, if a video is toggled into visibility, the guest of that video will see a red border around their video. This indicates that they are visible in OBS and that they may be on-air. It is experimental and can be disabled with *obsoff
  • An error message is given to those with NDI Tools problems when selecting a camera; after 20 seconds it will fail with an error message. Uninstalling NDI tools or updating NDI tools or using Firefox are solutions for now.
  • Lots of UI/UX polish to numerous places, including rounded edges, easier to read fonts, softer colours, etc.
  • If a connection to the handshake server fails, it will retry in 15 seconds, but it will also give a warning that it failed. This error message is mainly to help alert users that they may be blocking the required port to access the service.
  • Created the https://obs.ninja/dock file that can be added to OBS to help auto-generate invite links for users. The drag-into-OBS function has been improved.
  • Removed the messages that a user is trying to use your streamID; or at least I only show it once.
  • &cleanoutput is now set to hide a lot of error messages and text; useful if you want no error messages or text when doing a live stream in OBS.
  • Fixed an issue with iPhone 6s cameras
  • You cannot pause videos anymore; they will always auto-play if there is a user gesture. Auto play happens every 3 second or less, if event driven.
  • Overlay buttons are generally smaller; &cleanoutput will hide them also
  • State sync remains an issue with adding users to scenes from the Director's room, but you can now hold CTRL (or command) when pressing a button and it will re-issue the existing direction/command ; instead of toggling. This is useful if you wish to sync a scene without having to toggle a video in another scene also.
  • The group room video quality logic is now dependent on how many users are in the room. 1 guest is 300kbps each; while 4 guests is 120kbps each; and etc.
  • Managed to get NDI Tools to work in some more scenarios, but not all.
  • You can pass URLs via command line to the Electron Capture app; v1.0.2 via github releases if you wish to try it.
  • videos load faster when requested and load faster after a disconnection event.
Whew..., well, I'm sure there are lot more things I've forgotten to mention, but this is about 2 weeks worth of progress. I am heavily inspired by user feedback and requests, so please feel free to send your thoughts my way. You can also add issues or requests directly to the Github repo (as an issue); this is the best way to contribute bugs or requests, but I welcome them any way I can get them.
Please let me know if there are any issues or bugs with the new v8 release and I'll have them addressed asap. Thank you everyone; your support has been amazing.
-steve
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