Masturbate live with teens

Three Kinds of Women. 1992 Gelatin silver print. 24 1/4 x 33 1/4 in. (61.6 x 84.5 cm) Signed, titled, dated, numbered 5/12, copyright notation and annotated in pencil on the verso. Estimate $8,000 - 12,000 sold for $10,625 To help get a better understanding for how different types of love work, let’s explore the three types of love defined by the Ancient Greeks. 1. Eros Eros is the type of love that most closely resembles what Western cultures now view as romantic love. The word stems from the Greek word erotas, which translates to “intimate love.” If you've ever wondered how models have such glowing, flawless skin, the answer may be in their makeup primer. Because makeup primer has the unique ability to fill in fine lines and wrinkles, using primer as a layer between your skin and foundation provides the base necessary to create the appearance of perfect skin at any age [source: WebMD]. "Melt proof" is a common buzzword associated with ... Here are 10 kinds of women every church needs today: Read more . 1. A Woman Who Stands in The Gap. Slide 1 of 10 She prays on behalf of others. Her great compassion allows her to intercede to God while others are walking out storms. When we are not able to pray, too weak and weary from life’s battles, she steps into the gap and prays on our ... The Three Kinds of Women, According to Marion Barry The former D.C. mayor says what he's done for women's rights is "incredible" and "trailblazing." Don't believe it. For her book, Shapiro interviewed 200 women of assorted backgrounds and ages, and asked them all kinds of nosy questions about their friends. The result is a labyrinth of 10 types of female ... Most know that the ovaries are the primary production site of estrogens in cycling women. But, did you know that the adrenal glands and fat cells produce estrogens as well. In fact, beyond menopause and in men, abdominal and visceral fat is the primary site of estrogen production. The three types of estrogen produced in the body are: estradiol A pheromone (from Ancient Greek φέρω phero "to bear" and hormone) is a secreted or excreted chemical factor that triggers a social response in members of the same species.Pheromones are chemicals capable of acting like hormones outside the body of the secreting individual, to impact the behavior of the receiving individuals. There are alarm pheromones, food trail pheromones, sex pheromones ... Three Types of Women in the Bible. CYNTHIA TUCKER 29 SEP 2017 CLASS. During biblical times, men viewed women as insignificant. Because of this, women's roles were limited. It was a man’s world, and men were the focus. Yet despite this cultural view of women, the Bible has a lot to say about them. They often transcended their cultural ... A Primer on Regency Era Women’s Fashion This week and next, we’re going to take a look at how people dressed in the Regency Era. This week we’re going to focus on Regency Era Women’s Fashion and all the different pieces of apparel they were changing in and out of multiple times per day.

2020.09.19 13:48 Willow-girl Masturbate live with teens

Recently in a dialogue with another poster here, I came realize that the differences between varieties of women isn't obvious to all. Perhaps that explains the age-old question, "What do women want?" The answer, of course, is that it depends on the kind of woman you're talking about! There are whores, sluts and nuns. Let's start with sluts ...
Sluts are spontaneous. Generally they are good-hearted, fun-loving and sexually generous. They don't put a high value on sex, thus they see no problem with "giving it away." Sluts are easy to bed and are generally enthusiastic partners. Because they're so spontaneous, sluts are sometimes given to infidelity. They can "get carried away in the moment"! Also, their hedonism and lack of self-discipline can lead them to overindulge in other things, like food, alcohol, etc.
Sluts generally remember past partners fondly. They minimize the pain of past breakups, referring them as "summer flings" or such. Often they remain in friendly contact with old lovers, sometimes for decades, and are liable to fall back into bed with them from time to time. (This can complicate current relationships.)
Most sluts settle down eventually and can make good wives if they come to see the value of fidelity and exercising some restraint. Others are serial monogamists who flit from one man to the next, "falling in love" over and over. Sometimes sluts age badly, picking increasingly inappropriate partners and generally making a hash of their lives due to poor impulse control across-the-board.
As parents, sluts are generally well-meaning, but their chaotic romantic lives can be hard on their kids. Sluts can be dickmatized to the point of allowing unsuitable men (abusive, alcoholic, or worse) around their kids. Being sex-positive, sluts want their teens to experience the same joys of budding sexuality that they did, which sometimes makes their kids uncomfortable. (TMI, Mom!!) Children of sluts sometimes are more sexually conservative than their mothers, which is of course puzzling to the mother, although she may be secretly glad to not have to worry about unintended pregnancies and the like.
Next up: Whores! These are not just actual prostitutes, of course, but all women who view sex as currency, as something to be traded. Whores understand their value as sex partners and are determined to capitalize upon it. They don't "give it away" -- they get full value for their favors. Whores are selective, not spontaneous. This doesn't mean they're bad in bed, but when they're good, it's likely to be deliberate and performative. Whores may actually enjoy sex, but they see their own pleasure as beside the point. Sex is a means to an end.
Whores generally have a great deal of sexual self-control and this extends to other areas of life as well. The woman whose fitness and fashion are on-point likely falls into this category. She understands the nature of her value and is careful to maintain it. Whores age well. They are not prone to straying impulsively. If a whore cheats, it will generally be a well-planned-out branch-swing to a more prestigious partner.
Whores often remember past partners with disappointment, even bitterness. There is usually a sense that a man deceived them or didn't live up to his hype. They feel cheated. They "gave it away" and didn't get full value in return.
As parents, whores teach their daughters to follow in their footsteps. Their girls know their worth and are encouraged to "hold out" and "not sell themselves short." With sons, things are a bit more complicated. Whores see men as things to be exploited, and sons are no exception, unfortunately. Whores may emotionally seduce their sons and keep them wrapped around their little fingers, doing their bidding well into adulthood.
Finally we come to our last category, Nuns! Oftentimes nuns are not literally celibate; they're just women who don't have much interest in sex. Their reaction to it is generally, "Is that all there is?" Sometimes nuns were raised in a sexually repressive environment, like a fundamentalist religion; perhaps they were caught masturbating or in childish sex play and were harshly punished. Sometimes they are simply inexperienced, like the young woman who starts out with an equally innocent partner who doesn't know how to please her and/or is unconcerned with doing so. As a result, she doesn't see what's so great about sex or what the fuss is all about!
Nuns frequently marry young, have children early and identify primarily as Moms. They don't develop much of a sexual identity; they don't have time to. They embrace motherhood eagerly, finding it much more fulfilling than being a wife and lover. Nuns make very good moms, although sometimes they have a tendency to get over-invested in their kids and to "helicopter parent," and be overly involved in their adult kids' lives.
Nuns tend to have low N-counts and remember past partners, if any, as "puppy love." Occasionally in later life, a nun is sexually awakened -- for instance, by having an affair (however unlikely) with a skilled partner who pleasures her for the first time. Sometimes nuns transform into sluts and run their lives off the rails by pursuing their affair partner, as unsuitable as he may be otherwise. Most of the time, though, nuns age into asexual Karen types.
submitted by Willow-girl to PurplePillDebate [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 10:00 Conscious-Profile-70 Masturbate live with teens

I'm 20 years old, and I'm just starting to acknowledge my very apparent AGP now. I'm so so so confused. I've always considered myself as a straight guy, as I've been attracted to females all my life. I also, like many here, have found myself a consistent viewer of sissy/trans porn and I knew something was up. I've been watching this stuff for almost 3 years now, and in the beginning I definitely didn't understand why I was attracted to it, and also felt shame after I'd finish. I just wrote it off as being "purely attracted to femininity" or that "oh well I might be bi" and never gave it more thought after I'd close the tabs. This all started when I admitted I had a porn addiction, and began to truly question my sexuality. I found the definition of Autogynephilia after hours of searching reddit threads about sexuality, and it feels like I've been hit with a non-stop barrage of thoughts ever since. This is going to be very long, I just don't know what to do. I don't even know where to start.

I found AGP, and it felt like a checklist of everything I've been feeling. The same standard lineup of "why am I so interested in trans/sissy if I'm not gay? Am I bi? I'm really not attracted to men though...." My fantasies would include everything from being "feminized", being the girl in xyz porn scene, to sucking off trans women.

I first found pornography around age 11 and have been addicted to it ever since. My first reaction to seeing a porn video was disgust, although I went back to the same video later the same day and finished (whatever that was to an 11yo) to the video. I quickly found lesbian porn, and soon after became very interested in bdsm porn (mostly lesbian). I didn't realize at the time, but after looking back I was self inserting into a lot of these videos, because I was really turned on by the idea of being "forced" (in the case of bondage) to experience those good feelings, and I was very attracted to females, so I'd be focused on them. Along side this, upon reflection, I can remember having various feminine thoughts throughout my childhood. The earliest I remember was a fascination with make-up, lipstick in particular. I would always wonder what it would feel like to be walking around with "stuff" on your face and lips all the time, and I thought that it might feel good. Another memory I have is being brought to the hair salon while my mom went to get her hair dyed. I distinctly remember seeing all the women getting their hair lathered and treated, and wanting to feel what they were feeling, or experience what they were experiencing. I even asked my mom if guys got their hair dyed just because I didn't want to feel excluded from those feelings. I also remember one time trying on one of my sister's bikinis and masturbating in it, but I don't remember why I felt the desire to put it on. I also remember feeling desires to use feminine body soaps and lotions. I would get intense rushes of anxiety when I thought about the way I'd feel doing all these things, and that rush of anxiety would turn me on a lot.

From my early teens until the time I was 17, I'd mainly masturbate to "normal" porn categories alongside some of my fetishes, but that all changed when I found 4chan. I found trans/trap/sissy/etc. porn originally by finding sissy faproulettes on /b/, and being intrigued by the idea of someone completing one of them, or sometimes the thought of me doing them. I went from masturbating to the ideas presented in those fap roulettes, to browsing sissy/trans porn 70% of the time I masturbated.

2 years ago, when I went to college, I met my girlfriend. I'm shy, awkward, and pretty nerdy, but I'm also pretty attractive. I have self-confidence and self-esteem issues, but I never considered myself bad-looking. She approached me, she asked me out, and everything was great. I don't want to talk about the relationship too much here, but I'm definitely attracted to her and we have amazing sex. Although I didn't ever stopped masturbating to this kind of porn. On a few occasions, while alone, I've taken the opportunity to try on some of her underwear and masturbate while wearing it, and I remember really liking the way they felt, although the desire would fade when I finished.

I'm not sure if I just have AGP, or if these feelings are actually something that runs deeper. I've always seemed to forget about this side of me after I finished masturbating and I've always felt comfortable as myself (a guy), but the more I contemplate the more confused I get. I've always felt like I was a more feminine guy than most, but these feelings now are on a different level and I'm not sure if they're just from the process of looking inward, or if they're true feelings that have always been here. In the past, the idea of wearing women's clothing was something that turned me on. I don't think I want to transition or fully live my life as a girl, but I really am starting to enjoy the feeling of crossdressing. I opened up to my girlfriend about all of this recently (she already knew that I liked being submissive, but not much more than that) and she has been very accepting and interested in helping me explore this. She had me try on panties and a shirt and while i was a bit uncomfortable standing up infront of her, it felt so good to wear. I'm also starting to have thoughts about wanting to be or feel more feminine, such as getting worried about looking more masculine as I get older, and missing out on years where I look younger. I've always looked forward to looking more masculine as I aged, as it was actually a source of self-esteem issues, and now I'm not sure why I'm having other thoughts. I'm worried that if I keep indulging in my fantasies and urges, I might become dysphoric of my body, and that I might end up creating a feminine identity that wants to later escape in life, causing me to want to transition. I've never felt dysphoric about myself, but the last week has shown me thoughts that I didn't know I felt. Is there a reason my desires are fading less after finishing? I'm very confused and in need of any advice. I'm sorry for how shitty this post is written but it's 6 am and I started writing at 4:30.
submitted by Conscious-Profile-70 to askAGP [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 12:41 sbthrw 28 [m4M] Relatively inexperienced guy with a newly discovered submissive side in search of older man to act as a caring teacher or mentor figure in roughly a European time zone

I've long had the feeling that some areas of my personal growth have been terribly neglected in my teens and early twenties. And I think having an experienced, older man give me a direction would be tremendously helpful.
I'm looking for someone who has strong and clear opinions on what's good for a guy in my position (I'll tell you all about it privately) and who is willing to help mould me in the respektive areas, of course including but not limited to my sexuality — feeling comfortable in my body, handling masturbation and sex, self-confidence with other guys, both gay and straight, exploring my desires and much more.
I'd hope for a firm (or even strict) but caring hand to guide me. There might be a slight sub/Dom element to this, but I've had bad experiences with actual doms of the „bdsm type”. Realistically this would most likely be online, chatting and calls, but I'd be open to in person too if you happen to be close. I'm not looking for a traditional relationship as the power dynamic would be too extreme for that in my opinion.
If this sounds interesting to you and like you might fit the description, hit me up with a message or chat. I also have kik and telegramm if you ask me for my IDs.
I'm 28 years old and live in germany, you can see some pictures in my post history. You should be roughly in my time zone and ideally at least in your mid thirties.
submitted by sbthrw to GYOdating [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 20:41 jigglypuff__0 Masturbate live with teens

No one on this sub even mentions anyone in their 35+ unless they’re talking about “post wall” women - which again are entirely judged on their sexual behavior in their teens and twenties. God forbid they have children or meat on their bones, these women don’t exist (yes even the old virgins. But I thought all men wanted to marry old virgins? Turns out virginity is only really desirable when accompanied by youth. Go figure.)
In the end, this sub is hyper focused on the sexual practices of teens and people just breaking out of teenagerdom . Like, when you feel yourself getting worked up over the sex lives of young adults doing what most young adults do given opportunity and access, remember their age and adjust your expectations.
The happiest people in long term relationships are those who live simple predictable lives with little distractions or temptations. These are usually two adults who escaped their 20s and are ready to live mature calm lives. No porn for the husbands. No texting ex boyfriends for the wives. Two people who are happy to settle with each other and ready to forgo the thrill and excitement of new relationship energy.
If you’re in your teens and twenties in a college or otherwise youthful environment, expect a lot of ups downs, hormones and betrayals.
And boys, stop acting so perfect and innocent. Women are bad but y’all are notoriously trash at fidelity and commitment. Yes, even the “nice guys.“
The man’s #1 complaint on this sub is that the women leave and branch swing.
For women? Men will be perfectly happy in a relationship and throw it all a way for an opportunity to smash some one new, even if she looks or is objectively worse than his girl. Men also stay in unhappy relationships and justify their cheating in this way. But in their minds it’s better than leaving the relationship all together.
Men love to cheat then gaslight their partners into staying, creating a truly miserable experience for all. Women who cheat are usually on their way out of the relationship and are willing to accept the consequences because they were done. Usually, of course. Most of you agree it’s a trash exit strategy for some women. Others will leave before moving on, it just depends. It’s the shittiest ways to end a relationship and it similarly destroys the male partner. I’m not looking to argue about which is worse cause obviously the answer is whichever one leaves you hurt. Pick your poison.
But rather than debate which is worse, why not accept our main sample size are glorified teens and remember how thrill seeking and hormonal that time was and still is for those of us in our twenties?
Ladies are fucking more because they can and they want to. You can find that as disgusting as you want, in between your compulsive masturbating and only fans sessions of course. Why should women have self control when they can have real validating sex, if you can’t stop jacking it to step mom porn for one day, even if you’re having real sex?. The answer is because you can and you want to. Same with sex and women. Both have negative long term effects, absolutely. But look at yourself before you judge others.
Not everyone is crazy and impulsive in their 20s so find the people that aren’t. And those who are? Shaming them into...being virgins until its time to fuck you by the third date and pray you marry them so they don’t rack up a body count Is sadly not going to work.
Adjust your expectations. We are adults but we are also young humans in the grand scheme of life. Give yourself and others grace. We are all stumbling through life trying to figure out what’s real and fake as well as what’s biological and what’s socialized.
submitted by jigglypuff__0 to PurplePillDebate [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 17:51 primeprime00 Masturbate live with teens

Do people who have never had sex or touched themselves still get horny?
My wife, we just got married and she is a virgin still. She says she never gets horny and only thinks about sex once a week on her own just because I am talking about sex often so she is curious but if I wasn’t around it seems it would be very rare for her to fantasise etc.
We live in different countries and with the current restrictions it may be a while before we can see each other again so there’s no way to find out ourselves soon but it just got me thinking.
As a child her uncle would try to touched her and to this day she is scared of guys so maybe it is because of this. Also she is Muslim so it’s a sin to masturbate although many Muslims still do this to various degrees. For her touching herself seems strange and she doesn’t see why she should. She also doesn’t watch porn, she doesn’t get why women moan.
I’m just wondering if people who have never touched themselves still get horny? She thinks once she has had sex she will start to feel horny, like something will turn on once she knows the feeling. She is very curious to have sex, enjoys talking to me about it and has given me blowjobs but I think it’s more because she loves me and wants me to be happy.
I always thought everyone who’s gone through puberty feels something but then again I grew up in the UK and everyone I knew must have done something early on already so I’ve never come across anyone like her. I’m pretty sure as teen I suddenly felt something one day just like that. My ex is also Muslim and was abused, a little afraid of guys too but had urges still I suppose everyone takes things differently. My wife’s friends are unmarried but still have urges, they actually do not believe my wife has never done anything.
submitted by primeprime00 to sex [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 21:40 KeepMovingForwardRVC Masturbate live with teens

This post is probably gonna be a mess which is kinda fitting because my mind is a mess.
Where to even start? I know I’m still young by most standards (though I feel like I’m getting old lol) but it feels like my life is slowly slipping away and I’m going to spend it wishing I was different and wishing I was someone else.
I’ve slowly gone from a social, in shape, confident, not socially awkward, not anxious guy to just a mess. I’d say I was normal at about 14 and I’ve slowly deteriorated into my current existence.
I gained weight that I’ve been on and off trying to lose for years. To be fair on this front I am making tangible progress and have lost 3 stone (19kg) while running frequently. This is one area of my life that I actually have confidence I will change but the stretch marks my weight gain gave me will be with me forever.
This weight gain led to me losing my self esteem and self confidence. It’s actually crazy how easy it used to be for me to talk with girls when I was a young teen but now I feel like I’m wasting their time because I’m out of shape. I’m praying this will kinda change when I lose weight and I feel more confident about myself but who knows. I’m 22 years old and I’ve never had a proper girlfriend. I’ve had sex one time and it was with an older woman I met on Craigslist personals. Now I get anxious about when I do actually have sex because I think it’ll be so obvious I have no idea what I’m doing
In fact my self esteem is so low I’ve gone to a nightclub, met a girl, kissed with her, she asked me to come back to her apartment and on the walk home I felt like once I took my top off she’d lose all interest so I made up some bullshit about ‘having a girlfriend’ and saying I couldn’t cheat on her to avoid this potential embarrassment. How stupid is that? Adding to my paranoia with women is the fact that through my masturbation habits (no lube, strong grip and trying to cum as fast as possible) I’ve given myself death grip syndrome which meant that when I was having sex with this woman I could not ejaculate and barely felt anything. I’m trying to stop this and it’s fixable but i keep cracking and watching porn. I’m hopeful I can fix this and sorry for too much information.
In addition to being dumb around girls I’m just dumb around people in general. I’m not crazy socially awkward but I struggle to hold conversations especially one on one and I just feel like the least interesting man alive. I actively dread social situations especially with people I don’t know/1 on 1 situations because I just feel like I’m so boring and the conversation sucks. Like I have anxiety over going to the fucking barbers because of the potential of having to make small talk. Thinking of how easy I used to talk with people and how I used to be considered funny it honestly makes me want to cry. I’ve been out with my friends like once in the last year because I always make an excuse to avoid it and now they’ve stopped inviting me out. My life is literally just wake up, go on my laptop, watch sports, go to bed. This is an issue I just don’t know how to fix and it scares the fuck out of me that I’m going to be stuck as this boring loner for the rest of my life. It hurts to even write this...
The one area of my life that’s not a disaster is education wise. I have a degree in finance, I got a 2:1 which is good but from a top 35 UK university so not elite. I graduated this summer. But when I applied for jobs related to my degree I heard absolutely nothing back. Even applying for jobs like supermarkets and betting shops I was getting rejected this summer. So I’ve spent the entire summer doing essentially nothing but eating less and running sometimes. I know with the current jobs market I’m not gonna get a job I want so I’m doing a masters that I don’t really want to do but I feel like I need to do it I want a job in finance. But I’m even doubting doing this masters because by the time I graduate I’ll be a month away from 24 years old. I will be 24 years old entering the workforce and I feel like such a loser when my parents talk about having jobs at 16 and my friends at home have been working since 18.
I’m also absolutely broke right now due to not working in the summer but considering I’m starting university in November while studying for CFA level 1 (very intense qualification with recommended 300 hours of study) I don’t really have time for a job. This lack of money means I’m gonna have to live at home with my Mum while studying which isn’t ideal, there’s not even a desk I can use until she finishes work at 5pm.
Another issue I have is huge imposter syndrome. Like massive imposter syndrome. I studied finance as I said and I’m not the best at maths. Good enough to get a degree but even some ‘simple sums’ I don’t solve them quick enough. I always doubt if I’m actually smart enough to work in finance. I feel like if I got a job this summer I’d have legit no idea wtf I’m doing unless I’m showed everything. That’s why I’m lowkey kinda relieved I didn’t get one because I don’t feel ready
I feel like people are way more sophisticated than me and have their lives together. Even stuff like fashion I feel like I still look like a fucking kid compared to other people I see my age. I’ve recently got into the weird habit of googling people’s ages to try and benchmark myself against them. Like ‘oh this guy is 25 so I’ve got 3 years before I need to be as mature/successful as him’ or other dumb stuff. I am my own worst enemy tbh.
I never talk with anyone about any of this stuff. I’m embarrassed about all of it. I’ve never opened up about anything to anyone. My Dad lives abroad and I lie whenever he asks how I’m doing or if I’ve been out recently etc. I don’t think he realises I’m a socially awkward, anxious mess. I barely even talk with my friends outside of Xbox let alone opening up to someone about how poorly my life is going. (Damn writing this part made me cry). I feel like in my friendship group I was one of the least valued anyway, it’s part of why I withdrew. Stuff like me arriving at a party and people saying they didn’t realise I was even there despite being there for an hour. I feel like I could maybe talk with my mum but I just can’t bring myself to do it. She thinks I’m normal and is proud of how I did at university. She doesn’t know that second semester I was smoking weed every single day alone because I had no friends. I don’t want to shatter her perception of me and I really don’t want to talk with her about this stuff to be honest.
I have such a hard time opening up about anything. There’s so much stuff and opinions I don’t share, there’s so many things I’m embarrassed about that the thought of them being brought up makes me not want to talk to people. Like on Friday I’m going to a brunch with my Dad and his work friends and I’m already dreading one of them saying something like ‘so have you got a girlfriend then’ because I’ve never had one and I’m just ashamed. I try and play it cool but invariably my response is something kinda dumb and a minute later I think of what I should have said.
I’ve strongly debated therapy or counselling whichever is appropriate for me but I cannot afford it given I have £300 to my name currently and don’t have the time for a job. Therapy is so expensive.
I think that’s about it. There’s other stuff but it’s not coming to mind at the minute. I’m not suicidal and haven’t even considered suicide but part of me wonders with the way my life is heading if in 10 years it’s something I’d actually end up considering.
Reading this makes me think I might have depression which i haven’t properly considered before. I guess when you write it all out you realise just how bad things are. Even now I’m sat crying in my room trying not to wake my dad up while I’m visiting him in Dubai. This is supposed to be a holiday lol.
If anyone reads this thank you. I’m sorry if it sounds dramatic but this is how I truly feel.
I don’t know how I can turn my life around and become the kind of person I used to be when younger and want to be moving forward.
I’d love to have a group of friends where I feel valued, I love hanging with them. I’d love to have some self esteem and a bit of confidence for once. I’d love to feel like I can hold a conversation and not DREAD anything social. I’d love to have a girlfriend and one I could be open with about my life and how I’m feeling. I’d love to have a successful career.
But currently I’m not heading for any of those things, in fact they’re getting further away.
It felt kinda good to get this off my chest
submitted by KeepMovingForwardRVC to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 03:33 IWish4NoBody Can’t stop because I’m afraid of RL sexual experiences

Been creeping here for almost a year. Saw a post by another gal the other day that inspired me to post here, too. I know this space is male dominated and is intended for men, but I just don't know of any other safe space to talk about this, and you folks seem pretty understanding.
I have an mbating and daydreaming problem because I have a lifetime full of rapey, degrading, disgusting experiences with men, and I can’t bring myself to engage men IRL anymore. I’m afraid of real life experiences. I hate porn and never use it because the things I see men getting off to doing to women in porn make me feel awful. It’s so clear to me that I don’t want anyone to desire me that way. And it’s the only way I have ever been desired.
My dad used to jerk off in front of me and my sister once we hit puberty. He would come down to where we were playing computer (even though he had his own office across the house), would get on the guest computer, turn on porn, turn his monitor toward us, put his hand in his pants, and then try to engage us in conversation about the drugs he used to do when he was younger and his sexual experiences. When we would ask him why he was doing that or tell him to go away he would tell us to fuck off. I know there are a ton of people who love daddy/daughter stuff – but when it’s your real life, and you’re prey in your own home, and your parent doesn’t love you because they just want to feel good in their groin, it’s a terrible feeling, and it really fucked me up.
At the same time, I was working at a grocery store, and my 40-some year old boss would regularly corner me in the backroom and talk dirty to me or demand that I make out with him (never did, obviously. I would walk away if possible, roll my eyes, say “gross”, or tell him to go away, but he never figured out how uncool it was).
I ignored how that affected me for a long time; got the fuck away from home, got into a good college, and got married to a guy who I think was partially attracted to me due to my vulnerability. That’s basically the tl;dr of my love/sex life. I’ve had multiple relationships with men who I loved and wanted to love me, who turned out to be really manipulative, attracted to me because I was easy to get, nonconfrontational, eager to please, looked like a young teen late into my twenties, and was willing to try – sexually – what they wanted.
I really stayed on top of my pain until I was asleep on a friend’s couch and woke up to her husband lying beside me, having pulled my shirt up and pants down; he was fondling me and taking pictures of me while he lay beside me humping me. I ran out of their house, pulling my clothes up, and drove straight to the police. When I saw my husband later that night (same guy as mentioned above), he literally asked what I was wearing (full length leggings and a long sleeve, full length shirt, for those of you who need to know. Also, I was under a fucking blanket and asleep). At that point in time, I was in a top notch grad program and had come as far as I could imagine from the gutter I crawled out of. That situation made me feel like I’ll never get away from it. Like these men are everywhere, and they can smell the girl-nobody-cares-about on me.
I separated from my husband and ended up in a relationship with a worse guy who would literally monitor my self-esteem and reduce it any time I was feeling to good about myself or my accomplishments. The first time we got in an argument, he asked me for 10 things about my physical appearance that I was self-conscious about. After that, any time I was too happy, he would talk about one of those 10 things. I knew he was doing it on purpose when he said my two front teeth looked big (I had made up a concern about my front teeth because I didn’t have 10 things to tell him, and he wouldn’t drop it. My front teeth aren’t big).
At the same time, a student of mine (I’m a professor at a renowned university) started stalking me. I had to kick him out of my office hours because he wouldn’t stop making inappropriate comments. Then he would show up at my lab to participate in experiments. Then he would show up at the offices of my coworkers looking for me. Then he started popping up in random places along my morning and afternoon walks, then on my walk home. Then he started showing up at events I attended with friends. Then he started sending me threatening emails, saying things like that he was devoting himself entirely to wreaking the most painful of vengeances on me. (Apparently, in his mind, I have an obligation to want to be in a relationship with him – or I’m just a nonperson whose consciousness doesn’t matter.) I got a restraining order that lasted a year. The day it expired he sent me a message saying it was the last time I would hear from him before the day he gets his vengeance. For a while, I was carrying a tazer and pepper spray everywhere I went. Now I just don’t give a fuck. I hope he comes with just his fists or a knife because I feel fairly confidant I could still tear him apart, even if I die too, in that situation. Fuck guns; I’ll run or die.
Every close relationship I’ve had with a man has been one of exploitation. In addition, I’ve been forced into multiple other awful situations (boss, student, friend’s husband, gropers on the street) with random men; situations I had no desire to get into, and was not given the choice to get away from (I didn’t ask my stalker to take my class; I never led him or invited him to take a romantic or sexual liking to me, and now I just get to live with the fact that someone out there wants to dedicate his life to planning my demise). I was born too naïve, too gullible, too innocent, too shy, too gentle, too nice, and too willing to please. I’m now a 33 year old woman with a lifetime of terrible sexual experiences and a serious fear of real life men.
I’ve got a dream job, am financially stable, and totally independent. But I can’t get myself to go out and meet people. I live alone, and my life is better than it has ever been.
But I mbate every day – sometimes more than once a day, and have had a really hard time stopping. I have a hard time not because of porn, but because it’s an undeniable fact that at my core, I really want a partner, and my daydreams of my interactions with one inevitably lead me to mbate. This is true no matter how hard I try to make myself mature, tough, independent, asexual, and genderless. My fantasies aren’t of hardcore stuff. I’m totally down for sex, but I want, first, the kind of sweet love and real friendship that hasn’t existed for me ever before in real life.
I’m doubtful that I can find this. I see the kind of porn that men of my generation are watching. It just makes me not want to have a body anymore. I don’t have any skin left. I’m bleeding, and I can’t even find the wound.
I can actually get past the physical cravings for sexual intimacy. It’s the cravings for love and mental intimacy that lead me into daydreams, and my daydreams end up leading to a desire for physical intimacy, and then masturbation. I live totally alone and live a solitary lifestyle outside of work. I know that doesn’t sound healthy, but it’s healthier than anything I’ve ever had before.
I know this probably isn’t the place for this, and some of you might tell me I need to talk to a therapist. I prefer to handle things on my own. I know that no therapist can change my real life situation, and imagining that there’s any fix other than the real life iron-on-rock grinding through this won’t get me anywhere but further from where I need to go. Whenever I tell people IRL about my life anyway, they just get tears in their eyes or say apologetic stuff that makes me feel like I have to console and comfort them. It also makes me feel worse when other people look at me like my life has been such shit. I would have liked to live whatever they’ve lived. It doesn’t help to see in their eyes that what other people out there are experiencing is so much better than what I’ve got. I’ve tried therapy twice (different therapists), and didn’t go back after a single session each time because the therapist was having such a hard time handling their emotions and was so clearly sorry for me.
I know that it should, technically, be possible to meet a good fella. I know there are a ton of them out there. But I don’t think they’re interested in women like me. I also know, because a male colleague I shared an office with was very honest to me about it, that I’m a vulnerable girl, and people can see it clearly. He said he could see how I could be manipulated, and that it was so obvious and would be so easy to do that even he would have a hard time not manipulating me if we were in a relationship. I also suspect that the majority of people out there haven’t met face to face with the kind of gross pain I carry like stones in my stomach. And I know, also, that you don’t know what kind of person a person is until they’ve met that pain. I think there are a lot of people out there who think they’re good folks who are actually pretty selfish, weak fucks who are ready to spit venom the moment they’re poisoned. I’m so torn up at this point, I want kid gloves. And I’m doubtful anybody who hasn’t worn wounds like I’ve worn will have the perspective necessary to avoid spitting up, on a daily basis, dozens of little pieces of the toxicity of our culture that they’ve unwittingly ingested. I work hard to ensure I do no harm to other people. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this priority. It’s important to me. I want that of my partner, too, and I don’t think a person happens upon this kind of meditation if they haven’t been seriously harmed. I also think that seeking out people who have been seriously harmed is a dangerous and stupid thing to do.
I know I have to be careful. I have no one but myself to depend on, and people who meet me can tell I’m the girl nobody cares about. Besides people I’ve met in academia, I literally have no social support network – my family is fucked, and my friends from back home were all equally screwed up kids. The “good guys” of academia aren’t interested in me because my armor makes me look hard, and I can’t take it down for fear of being exploited again. I make “friends” easily when I want to, but have an extremely hard time relating to everyone in my new social circles and would almost always truly prefer to be away from them and their lives that aren’t anything like mine. My female friends also don’t feel much like friends because they tend to become aggressively flirtatious with me when they’re drunk or when we’re alone. (A really weird and regular phenomenon in my life has been that women – even women who claim they’re heterosexual – are drawn to me and flirty readily with me, while men stay away – except for the bad men).
I don’t want to keep mbating. It’s a waste of time, and it keeps me stuck in the need-for-love cycle that I just need to get myself the fuck out of. I think I can get there; it’s just going to be a slow growing. Reading your stories helps. It helps to know there are other folks struggling with something similar. I know your struggles aren’t exactly the same as mine, but they’re closer than anything else I’ve ever been privileged to have someone share with me. Thank you for sharing and letting me belong to this community.
Sorry for the aspects of this post that don’t meet with the status quo of this subreddit. I can’t really tell my story without telling it. Not looking for anyone to fix my life. Just needing a safe place to tell someone what I can’t tell anyone IRL.
tl;dr: I mbate because RL relationships aren’t a good option for me. I have a fucked up history and am not safe with the kind of men who are interested in me and am not appealing to the men who aren’t fucked up themselves. I don’t know how to stop mbating except to stop desiring a relationship IRL. That’s what I’m working on. So far, it’s pretty hard, but I’m working on being strong and growing into a life of solitude.
Please don’t send me PMs. I won’t be responding to any. (Please don’t pile your perversions and villainy on my back. I’m carrying enough, and I’ll just throw you off.)
submitted by IWish4NoBody to NoFap [link] [comments]


2020.09.13 23:16 StellaMara91 Live masturbate with teens

I'm a female, 29 yrs old. Single as hell ha. (I have a pretty solitary life as I live in a small town with my mom and a teen brother) I have cataracts in both of my eyes (Need a surgery as soon as possible) and have other health issues, I always have pain all over me and feel tired and unmotivated but...I'm always horny!
I feel guilty because of this and no one can explain me why I'm always thinking about sex and masturbation if my body is ill.
I mean...I feel tired and in pain every day but I can't keep my hands and objects away from me. Why? In my whole life I only have had sex 2 horrible (yes,horrible) times...I'm almost 30 and I never feel relief cause I can't reach an orgasm easily. I feel that I'm going to explode. But also I feel so guilty. Why the desire is always there even if I'm sick? Why I feel such a strong need but my sexual organs don't work as I want?
submitted by StellaMara91 to sex [link] [comments]


2020.09.13 22:19 Veritaz__ Masturbate live with teens

Last night I irreversibly lost the love of my life due to my porn addiction.
I started watching porn in my teens as most guys do, fascinated with sex as we all naturally are at that age. Myself and my friends even spoke about it like it was so natural. We were close mayes and very open, we even knew what stuff we were all into and would joke about it. I was convinced that consuming porn and PMO were totally natural, and that thought carried on through life.
Over the years my porn consumption got worse. But again I still thought everything I did was normal. I would loose hours of sleep browsing porn trying to find the 'perfect video' for myself to masturbate to that night. Often moving towards kinking things which would leave me ashamed of myself afterwards. But again I thought it was normal.
I started meeting girls and having flings or short relationships with them. They were all healthy, but I noticed the same issue at the start of each one. I was unable to get hard for us to even have sex. For years I blamed my anxiety, thinking I was just overthinking. I thought I was just too anxious and it was performance anxiety.
Slowly I started realising that the porn and PMO might have something to do with it. I stopped consuming porn during the week waiting for the weekend where I might catch up with a girl and hope we had sex. If I didn't meet someone (when I was single) or if I didnt see a person i was seeing that weekend I'd almost feel glad and go back to PMO. It was just so much easier. But what I was doing was normal right? I started noticing i had a problem.
This kept going on and then finally I met M. We were taken off our feet and fell right into love. I couldn't believe a girl like this existed. The most gorgeous thing I had ever seen, overflowing with joy, humour and energy like a goddess.
We basically started living together from the start and I stopped watching porn. The sex was amazing and we couldn't stay off each other. She asked me if I watched porn and I told her no, and that I used to and it was bad for you. She told me she didn't watch porn at all either, she thought it was horrible.
Moving forward a few months and some random girl I had on facebook made an onlyfans. Curiosity got the best of me and I signed up and subscribed, had a browse and PMO. I felt terrible and ashamed of what I had done and I stopped using it.
But this sparked up my addiction to porn again. It started slowly and crept up on me. Myself and M were working 6 days a week at opposite shifts. I had urges right? Wouldn't it be totally normal to look after myself?
It started getting worse. Sex didn't feel as interesting for me. It was easier to PMO by myself than to put effort in with M. M also had a lot of trouble getting off herself. She didn't have heaps of feeling down there and this also played on her kind a lot. Thinking she wasn't satisfying me or that she wasn't a full woman.
I started making excuses that because the sex wasn't as good what I was doing was okay. But it's almost like I knew that what I was doing wasn't okay. It was all excuses and then guilt and then depression. All looping as a personal battle with myself which I couldn't talk about to the person I loved the most.
M got more anxious and started thinking I was looking at other girls because she wasn't enough. She got controlling over girls I followed on instagram. Now these girls were people I was genuinely friends with, not random girls or smut. She was right in her suspicion that I was looking at girls. But It wasn't the girls on instagram. We would fight every time that she was controlling and eventually I would unfollow them.
I became resentful that I was being controlled. That she wasn't putting in any effort in sex. I continued to PMO. I feel like in the back of my head I knew what was going on and it was making me so depressed.
I started consuming porn at an insane rate. Almost scrolling through the same as you can mindlessly scroll through Facebook or reddit. I created a fake instagram to follow more easily accessible porn ad well as girl 'i wasn't allowed to'. I was consumed by all this porn material I honestly did not care about at all. I literally hated these people. What was I doing? I would distance myself from M, waiting for the opportunity to be alone and PMO. Losing sight of what was important. Making excuses to myself about what I was doing. Feeling guilty and depressed knowing I was doing something I hated. Something M hated.
The fights got worse and I asked M to move out. I was convinced I didnt want to be with her. The porn had taken over my life and I was a slave to it.
Last night M noticed my emails were still logged on to her mac. And she discovered the onlyfans I told her I never made. She discovered a secret instagram full of the people she hated the most.
Her biggest fears were now real. How much else of the relationship was a lie? She hates my guts. She hates me with everything she has.
I cant explain how horrible it is to come to a realisation that you knew all along. Porn is horrible. Porn changes how you think. How you act. Its a disease in your mind. As difficult to control as it is to stop yourself breathing. Your brain tells you your wrong.
I know this is a long story with no happy ending. But I think getting this off my chest is the first step to recovery. If anyone thinks they're on this path please take care of yourself and learn something from my mistakes.
submitted by Veritaz__ to loveafterporn [link] [comments]


2020.09.12 19:35 lillithocean Serious anxiety, hatred, and isolation since becoming a Christian

Hi all, I am a 16 year old girl who is currently struggling with her faith, and I really need help. I became a Christian sometime in 2019 but I haven’t said it out loud until this year. I have also “accepted” Jesus but honestly with the amount of hatred, fear, anxiety, and confusion I have I feel like I haven’t truly let him in. Anyway, what I am really trying to say is that for some reason the more I explore my faith and Christianity I feel more like a terrible person and I am petrified of going to hell. My anxiety has been growing and growing and I have built up so much resentment for God and I yell at him because I don’t feel protected and safe at all. I don’t feel loved or like he forgives my sins. Since I have become Christian I have constantly questioned EVERYTHING I do: what music I listen to, what clothes I wear, what I think about, sexual thoughts, masturbation, my actions towards other people, etc . . . and I know that’s great because I can become more Christ-like but that’s the thing. It’s so. Incredibly. Hard. It feels like I just can’t do this anymore. I feel guilty about everything I do. I feel like a scum growing on the bottom of someone’s shoe. The Bible has so many rules about how to live your life but I can’t do it I’m so terrible. And there are so many people who say that if you don’t do x y z then you’re going to hell, you’ll burn forever, and the Father will turn away from you. My earthly father has never been apart of my life and I don’t live with my mom either, I almost became a foster child so hearing this . . . just confirms how useless I am as a mere human being. Don’t all of these uptight Christians understand how it feels when you were thrown away as a child and all of these people say you’re not good enough for God you’re going to hell?! That God will just throw you to the fire?? AND YES I know I’m being selfish but that’s because I was given nothing for love. I feel emptier than anything. I struggle with so much temptation and I do so many things wrong. I am so scared that I won’t go to heaven. I’m sorry if this just sounds like angsty teen stuff. Please help.
submitted by lillithocean to Christianity [link] [comments]


2020.09.12 00:52 Veritaz__ Masturbate live with teens

Last night I irreversibly lost the love of my life due to my porn addiction.
I started watching porn in my teens as most guys do, fascinated with sex as we all naturally are at that age. Myself and my friends even spoke about it like it was so natural. We were close mayes and very open, we even knew what stuff we were all into and would joke about it. I was convinced that consuming porn and PMO were totally natural, and that thought carried on through life.
Over the years my porn consumption got worse. But again I still thought everything I did was normal. I would loose hours of sleep browsing porn trying to find the 'perfect video' for myself to masturbate to that night. Often moving towards kinking things which would leave me ashamed of myself afterwards. But again I thought it was normal.
I started meeting girls and having flings or short relationships with them. They were all healthy, but I noticed the same issue at the start of each one. I was unable to get hard for us to even have sex. For years I blamed my anxiety, thinking I was just overthinking. I thought I was just too anxious and it was performance anxiety.
Slowly I started realising that the porn and PMO might have something to do with it. I stopped consuming porn during the week waiting for the weekend where I might catch up with a girl and hope we had sex. If I didn't meet someone (when I was single) or if I didnt see a person i was seeing that weekend I'd almost feel glad and go back to PMO. It was just so much easier. But what I was doing was normal right? I started noticing i had a problem.
This kept going on and then finally I met M. We were taken off our feet and fell right into love. I couldn't believe a girl like this existed. The most gorgeous thing I had ever seen, overflowing with joy, humour and energy like a goddess.
We basically started living together from the start and I stopped watching porn. The sex was amazing and we couldn't stay off each other. She asked me if I watched porn and I told her no, and that I used to and it was bad for you. She told me she didn't watch porn at all either, she thought it was horrible.
Moving forward a few months and some random girl I had on facebook made an onlyfans. Curiosity got the best of me and I signed up and subscribed, had a browse and PMO. I felt terrible and ashamed of what I had done and I stopped using it.
But this sparked up my addiction to porn again. It started slowly and crept up on me. Myself and M were working 6 days a week at opposite shifts. I had urges right? Wouldn't it be totally normal to look after myself?
It started getting worse. Sex didn't feel as interesting for me. It was easier to PMO by myself than to put effort in with M. M also had a lot of trouble getting off herself. She didn't have heaps of feeling down there and this also played on her kind a lot. Thinking she wasn't satisfying me or that she wasn't a full woman.
I started making excuses that because the sex wasn't as good what I was doing was okay. But it's almost like I knew that what I was doing wasn't okay. It was all excuses and then guilt and then depression. All looping as a personal battle with myself which I couldn't talk about to the person I loved the most.
M got more anxious and started thinking I was looking at other girls because she wasn't enough. She got controlling over girls I followed on instagram. Now these girls were people I was genuinely friends with, not random girls or smut. She was right in her suspicion that I was looking at girls. But It wasn't the girls on instagram. We would fight every time that she was controlling and eventually I would unfollow them.
I became resentful that I was being controlled. That she wasn't putting in any effort in sex. I continued to PMO. I feel like in the back of my head I knew what was going on and it was making me so depressed.
I started consuming porn at an insane rate. Almost scrolling through the same as you can mindlessly scroll through Facebook or reddit. I created a fake instagram to follow all the girls I wasn't 'allowed to' as well as other strippers and whatnot. I was consumed by all this porn material I honestly did not care about at all. I literally hated these people. What was I doing? I would distance myself from M, waiting for the opportunity to be alone and PMO. Losing sight of what was important. Making excuses to myself about what I was doing. Feeling guilty and depressed knowing I was doing something I hated. Something M hated.
The fights got worse and I asked M to move out. I was convinced I didnt want to be with her. The porn had taken over my life and I was a slave to it.
Last night M noticed my emails were still logged on to her mac. And she discovered the onlyfans I told her I never made. She discovered a secret instagram full of the people she hated the most.
Her biggest fears were now real. How much else of the relationship was a lie? She hates my guts. She hates me with everything she has.
I cant explain how horrible it is to come to a realisation that you knew all along. Porn is horrible. Porn changes how you think. How you act. Its a disease in your mind. As difficult to control as it is to stop yourself breathing. Your brain tells you your wrong.
I know this is a long story with no happy ending. But I think getting this off my chest is the first step to recovery. If anyone thinks they're on this path please take care of yourself and learn something from my mistakes.
submitted by Veritaz__ to NoFap [link] [comments]


2020.09.11 21:42 Bhavananga Masturbate live with teens

Hi! I just want to show some support and share my story.
I used to think porn was a normal thing for grown ups. Even healthy for discovering and grooming sexuality. And that the actors mostly do out of free will. Believing the lies almost everyone is told. I think I now know better, and have a while ago decided to never indulge in porn ever again.
I always had instinct and thoughts that something is wrong about porn. I think it might have been liberating for me as a teen to know what sex can look like. But going further into it, the unwell feeling kept getting stronger. I had to hold myself back from a lot of weird drives it would be causing. If I had not done so often enough, I would have had serious problems I guess, more serious than they already were! Also I always had the disturbing thought, that the production might cause substantial damage to the actors, whether they know and admit or not, and that I was feasting on their suffering. Yet I kept ignoring this somehow throughout my life, and that put a shadow onto myself.
I first had to become spiritual in quest to try to overcome mental suffering, before I noticed what was going on. So...many months with a lot of meditation, nothing exciting but staying tranquil, no meat, no alcohol, watching the mind as I live. Trying to always foster moral intent to learn to develop more compassion. Trying to really live such ideas in everyday life and not just dream about. Also of course - review my stance on pornography!
Then I saw what was going on and why. And how it had held me back so many years, whenever I had phases where I was using it, even though I was no heavy user. It puts a shadow onto yourself, even when you don't always notice it clearly.

So what is porn? It is basically artificial sex. Doing it, you have a strong stimulation from watching a display of other peoples' sex. But you don't have to respect them for it, you don't ask for permission, you don't see their real personalities, but only what they have to fake! You have to do nothing for it but start the videos, so your own personality is also not really involved in it. You can use it any time, without any social context.
The human mind cannot handle this well, and will get very confused! Constantly ignoring the real personalities of yourself and people seen while being stimulated leads to you not seeing your and other peoples' personalities clearly any more. This will be making you very unsure of yourself and in situations with other people. It keeps you from being able to easily tune feelings into the situations and other people any more. Also having it at hand at any time, without having to approach another human respectfully, will make you have a lot of weird strong sexual thoughts at inappropriate times. These can build up, and become "twisted" more and more, and can drive you into doing unwholesome things in seek of thrills that you would not have done so easily with another real person involved. The artificial sex is not as satisfying as the real thing, so you might be craving for more and more, also more and more "effective" stuff. Real sex might become less satisfying because of the dullness induced by overstimulation, and not seeing the personalities involved as clear any more. I believe sex with prostitutes and certain types of masturbation behavior can have similar effects.
Now the good news is, it seems like those effects are not permanent. Consuming porn seems to kind of plant seeds into the mind, that will grow by watering them with indulging in porn and thoughts about it, and then they have energy for messing with you for a while. But abstaining from porn, not watering the "plants" any more, not planting new seeds - will make them get weaker and weaker over a period of time. Without feeding it, the clouding of the mind might eventually fade. You might notice becoming more sure and conscious of yourself, able to see other peoples' personalities better and with less distance, especially those of the sexually preferred gender. The temptations to do porn again, and the sexualized thoughts in inappropriate situations, might still be there for quite a while, while the "plants" slowly die off. But to a mind not clouded as strongly any more, they will keep getting easier to ignore and to fend off. Talking about a period of time of several weeks or months for changes to happen. I mean...one will not really forget what happened, and the porn is always there, also sometimes demanding thoughts about it. But it will not effect the mind like when one was regularly feeding the stuff any more. Instead the mind will become free and open, also free to see the porn and its usage with a different view, less involved, more realistic. At least that is my own experience.
How did I realize this? Mostly because of the compassion thing. I always suspected that the people I was watching were most probably not having fun. I tried to get deeper into such thoughts, and did research, read reports from people who broke out of the business, from people dealing with victims of the industry, all the sad stories of dependence and abuse. This opened my eyes to look more closely at what I was seeing. I was suddenly realizing those people were in very bad positions, having a real bad time, suffering a lot. And that I had been trying to feast on their suffering, getting sick myself from that in turn. I came to the conclusion, that the very most of them were either being forced or tricked or manipulated by people or society or need for money, many even trafficked or further humiliated in prostitution. They were being damaged in the soul for a few bucks and the little joy other people would have from the videos. I realized how blind I had been throughout my life, not really seeing those humans. Not seeing how it made myself weak in not seeing them as they really were. This stuff is a nasty drug, that blinds the mind, and that people had to suffer and become damaged for it to be produced! I decided to never indulge in it again. But the thoughts of compassion with the actors already had made impossible for me to feel any more joy while watching such videos. This had put distance between myself and the seeds of the porn in my mind, and let me watch them effect me and fade away. My mind slowly becoming free from it, after I had stopped watching porn, and I feel the greatest benefits from this change!

I want to congratulate every person who is wishing to quit on porn. You want the right thing! You are doing what will be very good for yourself and for others! I know for some of us it is not an easy task. Keep trying to push through, try to seek help if you need some. Don't get dragged down by the shame! Talking about it with the right persons is one thing thing that can help very well to become strong enough to handle it. Having used it doesn't mean you're a bad person! Just like the actors were pushed into this crap, you have also been pushed into it by one way or another - your natural sex drive has been severely abused! So please try to forgive yourself and try to look ahead. Quitting porn is really worth it, life will be different without, much better! Much more awake, much more aware, much more present! For me it happened very fast, as I was not deep in and doing lots of other things that helped. Please don't give up if you have a hard time, if it takes ages to get better, or if you relapsed. The doors are always open! Sometimes one has to try such a thing again and again, until the wind blows from the back and pushes one through just enough so one can finally make it.
But also I want to ask all of you to respect the people you were watching, the porn actors, and also prostitutes. Please even consider helping such people somehow to get out of their nightmares! Many people with porn problems, or certain anti-porn people, seem to look down so scornfully upon the actors, hating them because they think they are responsible for all what happens. Think about it, do a little research, and you will see they were all driven into the story by nasty circumstances. I believe they have to suffer so much more than the consumers of their porn do. In reality they are not losers. But victims and also true heroes! Having sacrificed much of themselves to stay alive. Having to endure so much pain and abuse of their bodies and minds. I love them all, because they have sacrificed their guts for me to try to experience love, and also to learn what love is and what is definitely not love. I can never make good for that! I just wish that they wouldn't have had to expose themselves to make that happen...
For me it helped a lot to read about their lives and their bitter fates, the problems and hardship they have to endure. Trying to hold their pain and shame a bit on my shoulders. Also it was important for me, though I could not give much, to support people who put hard work into trying to help them. Who are trying to get them out of their situations somehow. There are many organizations that do such work, small or big, religious or mundane, some only help prostitutes, some also victims of the porn business. Try to learn about that, read the stories, read about their work. Support them, too, with just that little that you can easily spare. I believe this can help to put some reality into one's relationship with porn, and that it can help a lot to become able to quit watching it. Helping people to get out of such nightmares, might also help you to get out of yours this way. And you can try to at least make good a little bit of the moral debt you have with them for indulging on their weakness! They need our help, and circumstances have to change, so nobody is in situation to have to choose doing such things any more!
Thank you for your attention! May you all get real with this!
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2020.09.10 17:02 vaginaprobs_ Masturbate live with teens

I grew up in an Asian, conservative, Christian household. I was very sheltered and most of my friends were from other Asian cultures and so we shared the same experiences. As a teen, I didn't party, I didn't drink, do drugs, or have sex. I just studied a lot, played a lot of sports, hung out with friends, and went to church. For the most part, life was really good. My parents told me not to have sex until marriage, and I followed because, well sex wasn't even on my mind anyway so it wasn't difficult to adhere to lol. My priority was to get good grades to get into a good university, and eventually land a stable career and become independent. Yet my culture was always looked down upon by white people, as they called it prudish, backwards, traditional, and misogynist. I went to university and was exposed to I guess more "Western" culture. I started to internalize the message that modern liberal feminism means hooking up without consequences, drinking excessively, partying, and that being sexy means being a queen. It was completely against what my parents had taught me, and the environment I grew up in. Couple that with the fact that I was constantly sexually assaulted by who I thought was my first love, and then raped, then sexually assaulted multiple times after that -- I believed my worth was from my body and I craved attention from men.
I discovered radical feminism and found that it answered so many of the questions I had, and helped to explain so many of my experiences. I lived for the male gaze, for the patriarchy. I believed that I was helping myself by engaging in risky sex (which is praised by liberal feminism!), when really I was just trying to look for ways to deal with the suppressed trauma. It's just like people who are abused as children, they end up seeking abusive relationships because of the familiarity, and reenacting their trauma.
Now my eyes have been opened. Yes my Asian culture is misogynist, but so is so-called "modern" Western culture. In my culture, you are supposed to stay a virgin until marriage. In modern day feminist Western culture, you are supposed to sleep around and build trauma on trauma on trauma (as what happened to me). In Western culture, you are either fuckable or invisible. In Western culture, women are seen as sex objects, meant to please the male gaze and satisfy the twisted masculine sexuality. Although I don't condone the purity message, I must say that I now understand partly why it was so enforced. It's a way to protect our daughters, because sex is an intimate act and really should not be shared with to just anyone. I hate that I had to learn this message the hard way.
All cultures are misogynist. Now I can't unsee sexism anymore. It is so blatant in our society, but it's being marketed as "modern" and "liberal". The beauty industry has brainwashed women into thinking that destroying the patriarchy is looking as sexy as possible, and these rich men are laughing as their pockets fill up from the billions of dollars women spend on "fixing" their insecurities. The porn industry has brainwashed women into thinking that destroying the patriarchy means engaging in degrading, dehumanizing and painful sex, in being a "cool girl" who watches and enjoys porn, and seeing prostitution as actual work instead of the exploitation that it truly is. Women today are seen as a collection of body parts (i.e. butt and boobs), instead of as human beings. Women are seen as sex objects to use as masturbation tools, instead of as human beings to be treated with respect, care, and dignity. What even happened to love making?
Ladies, I'm really tired. I'll step off my soap box now lol.
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