Hide camera porn video

If you can help someone save face, you create a situation where you almost never have to fight them and it usually results in a positive outcome. The successful communicator anticipates trouble and moves to prevent it, rather than expecting or provoking it. Communication skills are critical for managers, investigators and others. I can’t answer that, but neither can anyone else except for each individual person. What I can, and did, do was think realistically about the situation and bring up problematic points for discussion. I think these five points are very compelling to me, as to forgoing trigger warnings. But, as always, I welcome reader and writer responses. For some, the widespread use of trigger warnings is a really great and compassionate thing, and for others, this is a serious infringement on free speech and may even signal the beginning of the ... "A major trigger that can come up in relationships is when your new partner displays a behavior that your ex use to do," author, life strategist and speaker Carey Yazeed tells Bustle. "This can ... But there's a reason that a stigma exists against homeowners associations: Board members on a power trip can institute and enforce some ridiculous restrictions. Ridiculous, like " restricting the ... A life is at stake and you may need to speak to a mental health professional in order to keep the suicidal person safe. If you promise to keep your discussions secret, you may have to break your word. Offer ways to fix your loved one’s problems, give advice, or make them feel like they have to justify their suicidal feelings. It is not about ... Rape victim stories can be very difficult to read, frightening and emotionally draining for some but stories of rape show other victims that they are not alone in their struggles. Rape stories… Positive Inspirational Quotes for People with Depression They can ruin the life of an innocent person. You can see this on Law and Order, learn it in Psych 101, or just intuit it instinctively. When you hear a story, consider the narrator. Elisha Goldstein Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and conducts a private practice in West Los Angeles. He is founder of the Mindful Living Collective—a free leading global network for mindful living and learning, author of Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion (Atria Books, 2015), The Now Effect (Atria Books, 2012), Mindfulness ... JRC can help you evaluate your current life insurance and, if necessary, shop dozens of providers for the right coverage to match your changing needs. Click here to see what our many happy clients are saying about us, or give us a call for your personalized quote (855)-247-9555.

2020.09.24 16:03 SadWeebBoy Hide camera porn video

I want to warn you that this is going to be a long post so sorry in advance if you do decide to read it. I am a 14 year old boy, and I have severe depression. Let me start from the beginning. I was always the kid that was a gifted, smart child. The kind that would be one of the first to be done with a test. I had a wide friend group, and I really didn't have any beef with anyone. I always would help, even if I would get in trouble though. I would do others homework (I don't anymore, but I will still help), and wouldn't snitch at all. It's always been a policy of mine. As long as they aren't harming themselves or others, I don't care. I was always like this until 4th grade. That's around when I hit puberty. I had the basic stuff, having a crush and starting to learn more about the human body, and things like that. One day, I was playing Plants vs. Zombies on my computer, when I thought about my crush. Now, once I get thinking about something I am interested in or that I like, I won't stop unless something happens to get me out of that trance. Now, I was thinking about my crush and I wondered what women looked like naked. Biggest fucking mistake of my life. That has brought me down a porn addicted path in life, and I am trying so hard to quit, but I can't. I then learned what sex was and that was all I thought about. That started distracting me in class. Then I started getting self conscious. I started caring about my looks, hating how I look, etc;. I am just getting into 8th grade and my parents are just now starting to buy me things like Hollister and AE, which I find annoying since I have friends that have been having those clothes since 5th grade. And it's not like we are scrounging for cash either. My 6 year old brother is getting better stuff than I did at his age, and my parents act like I was nothing different than him. Now I get that he is different, being that when I was his age, my dad went to Afghanistan for 2 years, so I had a lot more Mom time than he does. They constantly compare me to him, saying that I was never that good at that at his age, or that he is doing soooo good where I do poorly. Then when I compare myself to him, they say "It's like comparing apples to oranges." I know that is bullshit because I know he is the favorite child by how they treated me at his age. I was let watch only 6 episodes of my shows, while he gets to watch whatever the hell he wants, for however long he wants. I would get 30 minutes of video games a day. He doesn't have a time limit. I had that time limit until I was 11. He never has. The worst part about this is when I bought my Nintendo switch in fall 2018, my parents said that I had to let my brother play on it when he wants to, or they would take it from me. I paid for the whole damn thing. Now all he does is hog the system and I rarely get a chance to play it. I saw that altogether I have 300 hours of gaming on it. My brother however, has 2500 hours of gaming on it. While I do understand that some of that is because I play more PS4 than Nintendo now, I still find that to be dumb. They only recently let me start gaming more because I "started to show interest in gaming" when I bought my switch. I have over 900 hours of minecraft on my PS3. I play Destiny 2, and if you play that, you know that you could barely get a raid encounter done in 2 hours with a dysfunctional raid team. I've resorted to sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to play it so I can be mediocre compared to others. The call me a "Gaming addict" and threaten to prevent me from gaming if I can't "Regulate my time" on video games. I also just got my first phone in july last year, compared to my friends who got their first ones in 4th grade. And with that phone, I am heavily locked down. No youtube, no tik tok, snapchat, instagram, twitter, facebook, twitter, pintrest, no downloading apps without their permission, a google search safeguard, and I must have my location on at all times. I barely can keep up with my friends when all they do is post on social media about what they are doing. That has socially stunted me so fucking much that I don't have a clue what trends are going, popular music, who all is popular at school, famous people, or have many friends.
So, getting back to my grade and school advancement, my 4th grade teacher was terrible. Not a bad person, quite likable to be honest, but she never prepared us for middle school. I could count on one hand the amount of times we had homework or tests. Once I got into 5th grade, it was like I got hit by a truck. My new teacher was the reading, LA, and science teacher for the "Gifted team". Boy did he have the expectations for us. We were righting essays 2 weeks into school. My mom said that she didn't do some of the stuff we were doing until she was in 9th grade. I suddenly had so much pressure on me, as I could just skate by, doing the bare minimum in K-4th, but in his class, the bare minimum was the best we could do. And this school was the convergence of 5 different elementary schools in our district, and I came from the smallest so I barely knew anybody. Somehow, most kids knew each other, so I was the odd one out. I started failing assignments and forgetting to do homework. And my parents are the kind that flip their shit if I get a C+ or a B-. All the while I am getting compared to other peoples kids, and how I could better myself. This started my path into depression. I luckily got my first new friend in tech ed (Thank You Mr. Lytle), and we hit it off like this.
Me - "Uh... Hi
Her - "Um hello. What's your name?"
Me - "Garret, whats yours"
Her - "Izzy.(fake name) Do you like Anime?"
Me - "Oh yeah I do"
And that began my introduction into that friend group. Looking back, it was one of the best times in my life being in that friend group, and I would give anything to get the group together again. I was toxic as a 10 year old though, looking back. I don't even know how they could stand me at all. Now Izzy is a person who was sexually assaulted and raped throughout her life, and I was an insolent asshole who would make jokes about it. I guess she tolerated it throughout 5th and early 6th. I don't know why. Maybe because she saw me as a good person at heart and I just don't understand people properly, but I don't know why. My friend group consisted of Izzy, Meredith, James, and periodically a few others but they never lasted long with us. We had a little book thing going where Izzy was writing a story, and Meredith and I were doing out own story. We started out with just creating a character of our own for Izzy's book, but then we ended up taking up our characters' stories in our own books. I never really got into it, so I basically went and let Izzy do what she wanted with him. She said she had the books chapters on Tumblr, but she never showed it to us nor told us how to find it. Sometimes I doubt she even wrote it, more as we just had out own little universe with our characters and their mingled stories. Anyways, once I got into 6th grade, Izzy had enough with my rape jokes. She and the others started ignoring me when I talked, and never started conversations with me. After about a week of this, I had enough and asked them why the fuck they were doing this. They then proceeded to lecture me about how I was toxic and that I needed to leave this table and find somewhere else to sit and people to hang out with. Luckily my bro Nathan let me have a seat at his lunch table, though I never really became friends with anyone there. Things went downhill fast from there. Instead of trying to pick my self up and apologize and be the better man here, I went down a path of cutting and drinking. I have managed to hide most of my scars, but some are still there. The only thing that really saved me from suicide in that time was music. NF was a big part of that. His music was like he was reaching out a hand to me saying "Hey, I am like you, I want to help" and guided me with his music. Eventually during gym class, Izzy came up to me and apologized for giving me the silent treatment and invited me back to their table. Things began looking up from there. I began to stop drinking, and slowed down with cutting. I eventually even got a girlfriend. Now let me get started on this shit.
Her name was Kylie, and she meant the world to me. We dated for 2 weeks before I told any of my friends. That was when Nathan and Zach sat me down to give me some backstory on her. According to them, she cheated on everyone she dated. I didn't want to listen to them, and started ignoring their warnings, and that was a huge mistake. We went to Kennywood for our schools day with Me, Kylie, her twin, Hayley, Nathan, and Kalee. Now during this one ride, the bigger person goes on the outside part of the coaster cart. When we got to the part where it hits a sharp bend, she "lost her seatbelt and ended up on my lap". Lucky me had a goddamn fucking boner at the time and I most definitely believe she felt it, that night, I called her and we did an all nighter with her talking about each other. Altogether I learned a whole new side of her. We ended up wanting to hold hands, hug, and kiss and all of that good stuff but the most we did was held hands because of my parents always checking in on us every 5 minutes when she was at my house, and we couldn't at hers because her house has cameras everywhere. Thats when my relationship went to shit. She got distant, and she would always hang out with other male friends instead of me. Then we broke up because I was "trying to not let her have male friends and I was being controlling" Ended up she was cheating with 4 of them. Yeah. She had an 8 person dating octagon apparently (she was Bi). Nobody knew. So I decided to go undercover and get a fake phone number. It worked. I pretended to be my cousin and I asked some questions. Apparently she trusted him more after 5 minutes of knowing "him" so I asked her why she cheated. Apparently I didn't give her enough attention. Apparently not holding hands every time we see a glimpse for each other was reason to cheat. And then she made some bullshit excuse that I abused her and shit so I shut that down instantly. She then apparently did some shit talk about me on tik tok and instagram, so I had my friends disprove that.
Now onto my second Gf. Hayley. She was a tomboy of sorts. She wasn't transgender in any way, just liked sports more, liked to wrestle, and has short hair, but she was a girl to the core. We had something great going on until she broke up with me saying that she heard rumours that I lie. She believed what others said about me and were rumours. I then got the truth that she just liked someone else. I'm still friends with her currently.
So now currently I have just moved away from when I used to go, so I have no friends here, I haven't heard from Izzy or James in 7 months, I talk to Meredith still. I am failing 3 classes right now due to technical problems. My parents are threatening me with millitary school, where I would have no PS4, no Phone, no music, no way to let my anger out, no friends to text for a whole fucking year. If they do that, I swear I will do some petty shit like not mail them back if they mail me or not contact them for the whole year except for my brother. I love that little shit to death. I am currently a 9/10 on the depression scale, cutting again. starting to vape, and I haven't had a girlfriend for a whole year as of today, and that is depressing the shit out of me. Can anyone give me advice on how to get a new GF? Or at least some new friends and how to better myself?
submitted by SadWeebBoy to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 05:04 Ablethegoat Hide camera porn video

Please somebody just read (trigger warning for some)
I want to warn you that this is going to be a long post so sorry in advance if you do decide to read it. I am a 14 year old boy, and I have severe depression. Let me start from the beginning. I was always the kid that was a gifted, smart child. The kind that would be one of the first to be done with a test. I had a wide friend group, and I really didn't have any beef with anyone. I always would help, even if I would get in trouble though. I would do others homework (I don't anymore, but I will still help), and wouldn't snitch at all. It's always been a policy of mine. As long as they aren't harming themselves or others, I don't care. I was always like this until 4th grade. That's around when I hit puberty. I had the basic stuff, having a crush and starting to learn more about the human body, and things like that. One day, I was playing Plants vs. Zombies on my computer, when I thought about my crush. Now, once I get thinking about something I am interested in or that I like, I won't stop unless something happens to get me out of that trance. Now, I was thinking about my crush and I wondered what women looked like naked. Biggest fucking mistake of my life. That has brought me down a porn addicted path in life, and I am trying so hard to quit, but I can't. I then learned what sex was and that was all I thought about. That started distracting me in class. Then I started getting self conscious. I started caring about my looks, hating how I look, etc;. I am just getting into 8th grade and my parents are just now starting to buy me things like Hollister and AE, which I find annoying since I have friends that have been having those clothes since 5th grade. And it's not like we are scrounging for cash either. My 6 year old brother is getting better stuff than I did at his age, and my parents act like I was nothing different than him. Now I get that he is different, being that when I was his age, my dad went to Afghanistan for 2 years, so I had a lot more Mom time than he does. They constantly compare me to him, saying that I was never that good at that at his age, or that he is doing soooo good where I do poorly. Then when I compare myself to him, they say "It's like comparing apples to oranges." I know that is bullshit because I know he is the favorite child by how they treated me at his age. I was let watch only 6 episodes of my shows, while he gets to watch whatever the hell he wants, for however long he wants. I would get 30 minutes of video games a day. He doesn't have a time limit. I had that time limit until I was 11. He never has. The worst part about this is when I bought my Nintendo switch in fall 2018, my parents said that I had to let my brother play on it when he wants to, or they would take it from me. I paid for the whole damn thing. Now all he does is hog the system and I rarely get a chance to play it. I saw that altogether I have 300 hours of gaming on it. My brother however, has 2500 hours of gaming on it. While I do understand that some of that is because I play more PS4 than Nintendo now, I still find that to be dumb. They only recently let me start gaming more because I "started to show interest in gaming" when I bought my switch. I have over 900 hours of minecraft on my PS3. I play Destiny 2, and if you play that, you know that you could barely get a raid encounter done in 2 hours with a dysfunctional raid team. I've resorted to sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to play it so I can be mediocre compared to others. The call me a "Gaming addict" and threaten to prevent me from gaming if I can't "Regulate my time" on video games. I also just got my first phone in july last year, compared to my friends who got their first ones in 4th grade. And with that phone, I am heavily locked down. No youtube, no tik tok, snapchat, instagram, twitter, facebook, twitter, pintrest, no downloading apps without their permission, a google search safeguard, and I must have my location on at all times. I barely can keep up with my friends when all they do is post on social media about what they are doing. That has socially stunted me so fucking much that I don't have a clue what trends are going, popular music, who all is popular at school, famous people, or have many friends.
So, getting back to my grade and school advancement, my 4th grade teacher was terrible. Not a bad person, quite likable to be honest, but she never prepared us for middle school. I could count on one hand the amount of times we had homework or tests. Once I got into 5th grade, it was like I got hit by a truck. My new teacher was the reading, LA, and science teacher for the "Gifted team". Boy did he have the expectations for us. We were righting essays 2 weeks into school. My mom said that she didn't do some of the stuff we were doing until she was in 9th grade. I suddenly had so much pressure on me, as I could just skate by, doing the bare minimum in K-4th, but in his class, the bare minimum was the best we could do. And this school was the convergence of 5 different elementary schools in our district, and I came from the smallest so I barely knew anybody. Somehow, most kids knew each other, so I was the odd one out. I started failing assignments and forgetting to do homework. And my parents are the kind that flip their shit if I get a C+ or a B-. All the while I am getting compared to other peoples kids, and how I could better myself. This started my path into depression. I luckily got my first new friend in tech ed (Thank You Mr. Lytle), and we hit it off like this.
Me - "Uh... Hi
Her - "Um hello. What's your name?"
Me - "Garret, whats yours"
Her - "Izzy.(fake name) Do you like Anime?"
Me - "Oh yeah I do"
And that began my introduction into that friend group. Looking back, it was one of the best times in my life being in that friend group, and I would give anything to get the group together again. I was toxic as a 10 year old though, looking back. I don't even know how they could stand me at all. Now Izzy is a person who was sexually assaulted and raped throughout her life, and I was an insolent asshole who would make jokes about it. I guess she tolerated it throughout 5th and early 6th. I don't know why. Maybe because she saw me as a good person at heart and I just don't understand people properly, but I don't know why. My friend group consisted of Izzy, Meredith, James, and periodically a few others but they never lasted long with us. We had a little book thing going where Izzy was writing a story, and Meredith and I were doing out own story. We started out with just creating a character of our own for Izzy's book, but then we ended up taking up our characters' stories in our own books. I never really got into it, so I basically went and let Izzy do what she wanted with him. She said she had the books chapters on Tumblr, but she never showed it to us nor told us how to find it. Sometimes I doubt she even wrote it, more as we just had out own little universe with our characters and their mingled stories. Anyways, once I got into 6th grade, Izzy had enough with my rape jokes. She and the others started ignoring me when I talked, and never started conversations with me. After about a week of this, I had enough and asked them why the fuck they were doing this. They then proceeded to lecture me about how I was toxic and that I needed to leave this table and find somewhere else to sit and people to hang out with. Luckily my bro Nathan let me have a seat at his lunch table, though I never really became friends with anyone there. Things went downhill fast from there. Instead of trying to pick my self up and apologize and be the better man here, I went down a path of cutting and drinking. I have managed to hide most of my scars, but some are still there. The only thing that really saved me from suicide in that time was music. NF was a big part of that. His music was like he was reaching out a hand to me saying "Hey, I am like you, I want to help" and guided me with his music. Eventually during gym class, Izzy came up to me and apologized for giving me the silent treatment and invited me back to their table. Things began looking up from there. I began to stop drinking, and slowed down with cutting. I eventually even got a girlfriend. Now let me get started on this shit.
Her name was Kylie, and she meant the world to me. We dated for 2 weeks before I told any of my friends. That was when Nathan and Zach sat me down to give me some backstory on her. According to them, she cheated on everyone she dated. I didn't want to listen to them, and started ignoring their warnings, and that was a huge mistake. We went to Kennywood for our schools day with Me, Kylie, her twin, Hayley, Nathan, and Kalee. Now during this one ride, the bigger person goes on the outside part of the coaster cart. When we got to the part where it hits a sharp bend, she "lost her seatbelt and ended up on my lap". Lucky me had a goddamn fucking boner at the time and I most definitely believe she felt it, that night, I called her and we did an all nighter with her talking about each other. Altogether I learned a whole new side of her. We ended up wanting to hold hands, hug, and kiss and all of that good stuff but the most we did was held hands because of my parents always checking in on us every 5 minutes when she was at my house, and we couldn't at hers because her house has cameras everywhere. Thats when my relationship went to shit. She got distant, and she would always hang out with other male friends instead of me. Then we broke up because I was "trying to not let her have male friends and I was being controlling" Ended up she was cheating with 4 of them. Yeah. She had an 8 person dating octagon apparently (she was Bi). Nobody knew. So I decided to go undercover and get a fake phone number. It worked. I pretended to be my cousin and I asked some questions. Apparently she trusted him more after 5 minutes of knowing "him" so I asked her why she cheated. Apparently I didn't give her enough attention. Apparently not holding hands every time we see a glimpse for each other was reason to cheat. And then she made some bullshit excuse that I abused her and shit so I shut that down instantly. She then apparently did some shit talk about me on tik tok and instagram, so I had my friends disprove that.
Now onto my second Gf. Hayley. She was a tomboy of sorts. She wasn't transgender in any way, just liked sports more, liked to wrestle, and has short hair, but she was a girl to the core. We had something great going on until she broke up with me saying that she heard rumours that I lie. She believed what others said about me and were rumours. I then got the truth that she just liked someone else. I'm still friends with her currently.
So now currently I have just moved away from when I used to go, so I have no friends here, I haven't heard from Izzy or James in 7 months, I talk to Meredith still. I am failing 3 classes right now due to technical problems. My parents are threatening me with millitary school, where I would have no PS4, no Phone, no music, no way to let my anger out, no friends to text for a whole fucking year. If they do that, I swear I will do some petty shit like not mail them back if they mail me or not contact them for the whole year except for my brother. I love that little shit to death. I am currently a 9/10 on the depression scale, cutting again. starting to vape, and I haven't had a girlfriend for a whole year as of today, and that is depressing the shit out of me. Can anyone give me advice on how to get a new GF? Or at least some new friends and how to better myself?
PS I will try to attach screenshots of my ex's chat with me as my cousin if possible.
submitted by Ablethegoat to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 04:59 SadWeebBoy Please somebody just read (trigger warning for some)

(edit) I'm sorry for formatting I wrote this at 2 am so I'm tired
I want to warn you that this is going to be a long post so sorry in advance if you do decide to read it. I am a 14 year old boy, and I have severe depression. Let me start from the beginning. I was always the kid that was a gifted, smart child. The kind that would be one of the first to be done with a test. I had a wide friend group, and I really didn't have any beef with anyone. I always would help, even if I would get in trouble though. I would do others homework (I don't anymore, but I will still help), and wouldn't snitch at all. It's always been a policy of mine. As long as they aren't harming themselves or others, I don't care. I was always like this until 4th grade. That's around when I hit puberty. I had the basic stuff, having a crush and starting to learn more about the human body, and things like that. One day, I was playing Plants vs. Zombies on my computer, when I thought about my crush. Now, once I get thinking about something I am interested in or that I like, I won't stop unless something happens to get me out of that trance. Now, I was thinking about my crush and I wondered what women looked like naked. Biggest fucking mistake of my life. That has brought me down a porn addicted path in life, and I am trying so hard to quit, but I can't. I then learned what sex was and that was all I thought about. That started distracting me in class. Then I started getting self conscious. I started caring about my looks, hating how I look, etc;. I am just getting into 8th grade and my parents are just now starting to buy me things like Hollister and AE, which I find annoying since I have friends that have been having those clothes since 5th grade. And it's not like we are scrounging for cash either. My 6 year old brother is getting better stuff than I did at his age, and my parents act like I was nothing different than him. Now I get that he is different, being that when I was his age, my dad went to Afghanistan for 2 years, so I had a lot more Mom time than he does. They constantly compare me to him, saying that I was never that good at that at his age, or that he is doing soooo good where I do poorly. Then when I compare myself to him, they say "It's like comparing apples to oranges." I know that is bullshit because I know he is the favorite child by how they treated me at his age. I was let watch only 6 episodes of my shows, while he gets to watch whatever the hell he wants, for however long he wants. I would get 30 minutes of video games a day. He doesn't have a time limit. I had that time limit until I was 11. He never has. The worst part about this is when I bought my Nintendo switch in fall 2018, my parents said that I had to let my brother play on it when he wants to, or they would take it from me. I paid for the whole damn thing. Now all he does is hog the system and I rarely get a chance to play it. I saw that altogether I have 300 hours of gaming on it. My brother however, has 2500 hours of gaming on it. While I do understand that some of that is because I play more PS4 than Nintendo now, I still find that to be dumb. They only recently let me start gaming more because I "started to show interest in gaming" when I bought my switch. I have over 900 hours of minecraft on my PS3. I play Destiny 2, and if you play that, you know that you could barely get a raid encounter done in 2 hours with a dysfunctional raid team. I've resorted to sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to play it so I can be mediocre compared to others. The call me a "Gaming addict" and threaten to prevent me from gaming if I can't "Regulate my time" on video games. I also just got my first phone in july last year, compared to my friends who got their first ones in 4th grade. And with that phone, I am heavily locked down. No youtube, no tik tok, snapchat, instagram, twitter, facebook, twitter, pintrest, no downloading apps without their permission, a google search safeguard, and I must have my location on at all times. I barely can keep up with my friends when all they do is post on social media about what they are doing. That has socially stunted me so fucking much that I don't have a clue what trends are going, popular music, who all is popular at school, famous people, or have many friends.
So, getting back to my grade and school advancement, my 4th grade teacher was terrible. Not a bad person, quite likable to be honest, but she never prepared us for middle school. I could count on one hand the amount of times we had homework or tests. Once I got into 5th grade, it was like I got hit by a truck. My new teacher was the reading, LA, and science teacher for the "Gifted team". Boy did he have the expectations for us. We were righting essays 2 weeks into school. My mom said that she didn't do some of the stuff we were doing until she was in 9th grade. I suddenly had so much pressure on me, as I could just skate by, doing the bare minimum in K-4th, but in his class, the bare minimum was the best we could do. And this school was the convergence of 5 different elementary schools in our district, and I came from the smallest so I barely knew anybody. Somehow, most kids knew each other, so I was the odd one out. I started failing assignments and forgetting to do homework. And my parents are the kind that flip their shit if I get a C+ or a B-. All the while I am getting compared to other peoples kids, and how I could better myself. This started my path into depression. I luckily got my first new friend in tech ed (Thank You Mr. Lytle), and we hit it off like this.
Me - "Uh... Hi
Her - "Um hello. What's your name?"
Me - "Garret, whats yours"
Her - "Izzy.(fake name) Do you like Anime?"
Me - "Oh yeah I do"
And that began my introduction into that friend group. Looking back, it was one of the best times in my life being in that friend group, and I would give anything to get the group together again. I was toxic as a 10 year old though, looking back. I don't even know how they could stand me at all. Now Izzy is a person who was sexually assaulted and raped throughout her life, and I was an insolent asshole who would make jokes about it. I guess she tolerated it throughout 5th and early 6th. I don't know why. Maybe because she saw me as a good person at heart and I just don't understand people properly, but I don't know why. My friend group consisted of Izzy, Meredith, James, and periodically a few others but they never lasted long with us. We had a little book thing going where Izzy was writing a story, and Meredith and I were doing out own story. We started out with just creating a character of our own for Izzy's book, but then we ended up taking up our characters' stories in our own books. I never really got into it, so I basically went and let Izzy do what she wanted with him. She said she had the books chapters on Tumblr, but she never showed it to us nor told us how to find it. Sometimes I doubt she even wrote it, more as we just had out own little universe with our characters and their mingled stories. Anyways, once I got into 6th grade, Izzy had enough with my rape jokes. She and the others started ignoring me when I talked, and never started conversations with me. After about a week of this, I had enough and asked them why the fuck they were doing this. They then proceeded to lecture me about how I was toxic and that I needed to leave this table and find somewhere else to sit and people to hang out with. Luckily my bro Nathan let me have a seat at his lunch table, though I never really became friends with anyone there. Things went downhill fast from there. Instead of trying to pick my self up and apologize and be the better man here, I went down a path of cutting and drinking. I have managed to hide most of my scars, but some are still there. The only thing that really saved me from suicide in that time was music. NF was a big part of that. His music was like he was reaching out a hand to me saying "Hey, I am like you, I want to help" and guided me with his music. Eventually during gym class, Izzy came up to me and apologized for giving me the silent treatment and invited me back to their table. Things began looking up from there. I began to stop drinking, and slowed down with cutting. I eventually even got a girlfriend. Now let me get started on this shit.
Her name was Kylie, and she meant the world to me. We dated for 2 weeks before I told any of my friends. That was when Nathan and Zach sat me down to give me some backstory on her. According to them, she cheated on everyone she dated. I didn't want to listen to them, and started ignoring their warnings, and that was a huge mistake. We went to Kennywood for our schools day with Me, Kylie, her twin, Hayley, Nathan, and Kalee. Now during this one ride, the bigger person goes on the outside part of the coaster cart. When we got to the part where it hits a sharp bend, she "lost her seatbelt and ended up on my lap". Lucky me had a goddamn fucking boner at the time and I most definitely believe she felt it, that night, I called her and we did an all nighter with her talking about each other. Altogether I learned a whole new side of her. We ended up wanting to hold hands, hug, and kiss and all of that good stuff but the most we did was held hands because of my parents always checking in on us every 5 minutes when she was at my house, and we couldn't at hers because her house has cameras everywhere. Thats when my relationship went to shit. She got distant, and she would always hang out with other male friends instead of me. Then we broke up because I was "trying to not let her have male friends and I was being controlling" Ended up she was cheating with 4 of them. Yeah. She had an 8 person dating octagon apparently (she was Bi). Nobody knew. So I decided to go undercover and get a fake phone number. It worked. I pretended to be my cousin and I asked some questions. Apparently she trusted him more after 5 minutes of knowing "him" so I asked her why she cheated. Apparently I didn't give her enough attention. Apparently not holding hands every time we see a glimpse for each other was reason to cheat. And then she made some bullshit excuse that I abused her and shit so I shut that down instantly. She then apparently did some shit talk about me on tik tok and instagram, so I had my friends disprove that.
Now onto my second Gf. Hayley. She was a tomboy of sorts. She wasn't transgender in any way, just liked sports more, liked to wrestle, and has short hair, but she was a girl to the core. We had something great going on until she broke up with me saying that she heard rumours that I lie. She believed what others said about me and were rumours. I then got the truth that she just liked someone else. I'm still friends with her currently.
So now currently I have just moved away from when I used to go, so I have no friends here, I haven't heard from Izzy or James in 7 months, I talk to Meredith still. I am failing 3 classes right now due to technical problems. My parents are threatening me with millitary school, where I would have no PS4, no Phone, no music, no way to let my anger out, no friends to text for a whole fucking year. If they do that, I swear I will do some petty shit like not mail them back if they mail me or not contact them for the whole year except for my brother. I love that little shit to death. I am currently a 9/10 on the depression scale, cutting again. starting to vape, and I haven't had a girlfriend for a whole year as of today, and that is depressing the shit out of me. Can anyone give me advice on how to get a new GF? Or at least some new friends and how to better myself?
PS I will try to attach screenshots of my ex's chat with me as my cousin if possible.
submitted by SadWeebBoy to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 20:12 TrollD4d Hide camera porn video

It's been a while since I made a thread like this.
I've learned quite a few things in the last few months. So I'm going to share them with you guys.
Some of the ideas come from my own personal experience, but many of them originated from discussions with the people mentioned above. I love you guys.
You might disagree with a lot of things I'm going to say.
That's fine.
This is just my opinion, my thoughts, as the title says.
By the way, I have already said all these things through various posts, so if you've been following me lately, there is nothing new here.
There are some triggers in this post, so I apologize in advance for them. I do think they are important to make some of my points, otherwise I wouldn't include them.
Let's get started...
Porn Addiction is Being Severely Underestimated
How do I know this?
Because most people in the community believe that in order to get rid of this addiction, all they have to do is keep trying over and over again, until eventually things will just 'click' and their brains will finally become rebooted.
Very few are treating this as a true addiction. They just see it as a habit they want to break.
This is evidenced by the stubborness of many, relying purely on willpower for months, only to constantly reset their counters and beat themselves up for not making any progress.
Most people don't realize how incredibly difficult it is to completely remove artificial stimulation (of any kind) for the rest of their lives. We're talking about years and years of brain conditioning here.
Many of us here have been in this community since 2010 and we're still struggling in one way or another. That is almost 4 years of trying to quit for good. 4 years of trying to get to 100 days or whatever. 4 years of wanting to be the next GABE.
We're dealing with some powerful stuff here, but it is not treated seriously enough, probably because it's widely accepted by society and is not a substance like heroine or cocaine.
I cringe when people relapse, reset their counters, and proclaim "This is it, I've had enough, I'm going to do it this time"...
Stop kidding yourself.
This is an addiction that has to be attacked from many different angles. You need a full arsenal of tools and strategies, as well as a proper mindset.
Willpower alone won't do shit.
Abstinence is NOT Recovery
What people usually try to do is go as many days clean as they can.
That's all they do.
That's all their goal.
They achieve a certain amount of days, then for whatever reason they relapse, so they start over and repeat.
That is abstaining. That is not recovering.
It is extremely common for people to achieve a certain milestone, such as 30, 90, or 100 days, relapse a few days later, and then find themselves unable to get momentum again. They go back to the beginning and they feel like they lost all their progress from their run.
There is a constant frustration for lack of progress. People are feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, trying the same thing over and over again without success.
This is because very few are addressing the real roots of their problems. Very few.
Everyone is focused on how many days they have managed and if their symptoms are either present or gone. They judge their progress by measuring dick hardness, spontaneous erections and morning woods.
They are "trying to quit porn" so that they can "get rid of their ED".
So they abstain for as long as they can, hoping that this can cure their symptoms.
Completely wrong approach.
If they don't see ED improvements, they get discouraged.
If they see ED improvements, then maybe a porn session or two won't hurt, right?
If there is no woman around, they justify watching a couple of times. After all, they are not having sex anytime soon, so whats the point?
They delay dating until their ED is cured or they have managed to go 100 days. But they never achieve this in the first place precisely because of this incorrect mentality.
The same applies to other symptoms such as social anxiety, energy levels, motivation, etc.
They try to quit porn, so that the symptoms can go away, and so they can finally live life.
People are focusing on the wrong things.
They are not changing the way they think.
They are not changing the way they live.
They are not changing the way they view sex and women.
They are just trying not to masturbate, while everything else remains the same.
That, my friends, is abstinence, not recovery.
The Foundation of a Proper Reboot
Porn addiction is not the cause of your shitty life.
Read that again.
Of course, it's difficult to improve your life when you're having intense porn sessions every single day that drain your energy and make you a zombie. But porn is not the reason your life sucks.
Please, this is very important to understand, you have to stop blaming porn for your problems.
This mentality of "life awaits me after recovery" is destructive.
Porn is not the reason you're a procrastinator. Porn is not the reason you're depressed. Porn is not the reason you're lonely. Porn is not the reason you haven't been able to lose weight or gain muscle.
Porn is the symptom.
You watch porn to escape reality. You watch porn to manage your emotions. You watch porn because you're bored, lonely, stressed, depressed, angry, isolated. You watch porn to feel good for a moment, to replace uncomfortable emotions and situations in your life.
Here's how you get rid of this addiction:
You don't focus on quitting porn so you can finally get to live life after you're recovered.
You focus on learning how to live, how to manage your emotions, how to change the way you think and view the world.
You put all your energy into building the life you want.
This will naturally lead your mind away from porn.
Success is not measured by how many clean days you've managed.
It's measured by how much your life has improved since you started rebooting.
This is what you need to do (credit to RecoveryNation):
Step #1: Write a life vision for yourself
How do you envision your life a few weeks, months, or years from now?
Spend a whole day (or week) thinking about this.
Don't say "I don't know what to do with my life".
Are you telling me you have no clue what you want in any of the following areas: study, work, family, friends, hobbies, health, etc?
Even if you're not sure, you need to give your life some direction.
This is by far the most important part of recovering from pornography addiction.
Write like crazy. Write many pages if you want. Make the biggest post you've ever done in your journal talking about how you envision your future life.
This life vision will be the foundation of your reboot.
This is what you will focus on 100% from now on.
Close your eyes. Visualize it. Write it down.
If you don't know what you want in life, then this is actually a more serious issue than porn addiction itself.
Like I said, spend a whole week if you need to.
Brainstorm.
Ask for advice.
Take a notebook and go to a park.
Inspire yourself.
This is the beginning of your recovery.
Take it seriously.
Step #2: Give urgency to your life vision
Ok, now you know what you want in life. Even if you're still unsure in some areas, such as not knowing what to study, that's ok. At least you can give your life some direction for the moment. This is very important. You need to give your life direction. You need to move towards something.
Here's the problem. Many of us know what we want, but we keep delaying it. We're experts at delaying goals. We wait until New Years, or the beginning of a month, or until circumstances get better.
So this is what you're going to do now:
You're going to give urgency to your life vision.
Write down why you ABSOLUTELY MUST start working on it right now.
Make another huge post or journal entry about it.
Let's suppose you're 27 and you have no job, no car, still live with your parents, and spend most of the day playing video games. Why in the world would you wait more time before starting to do something about it? This is urgent bro. You're fucking 27!
Or maybe you've never had a girlfriend in your life before. Well, what are you waiting for? Go buy some nice clothes, start going out more frequently, make mistakes, get rejected, ask women on dates. Start getting some experience NOW.
You have back pain? Start working on it. Don't wait. The more you wait the worse it gets. Start doing yoga or swimming. Move your hips and back constantly every day.
Write down reasons why you must start pursuing your life vision right now.
You have to stop living like this.
This is urgent.
This is high priority.
We must convince ourselves that change is imminent.
It's very important.
A life vision is no good if you have no urgency.
You'll just keep delaying it. Waiting for circumstances to improve. Waiting for motivation to arrive. Waiting for the beginning of new year.
Create urgency.
Step #3: Develop an indestructible belief in yourself
One of the main reasons we quit goals is because deep inside we don't believe we're actually able to do it.
When successful people like Arnold Schwarzenegger decide they want to achieve something, they become completely obsessed about it. They have an indestructible belief that they will achieve it.
They are not affected by circumstances. They create results in their head before they even get them.
This is what you have to do if you want to accomplish anything.
For example, let's say you want to learn how to play guitar. And you have the urgency to do it, because you know it takes time, so the sooner you start the better. You have to start now.
However, after a few days of learning the basics, you start losing motivation and becoming discouraged. You realize that playing guitar is not easy at all. You feel overwhelmed by how much practice you need to put into it. You start doubting yourself and thinking "There's no way I'll ever become a great guitar player and form my own band". Friends tell you things like "Dude, you should've started years ago. All great guitarists started when they were young".
So you quit.
This is a result of a weak belief in yourself. You don't believe you have the potential to become a good guitarist. Which is obviously completely false. We as humans have unlimited potential.
Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't think like this.
Look at what he said:
How many times have you heard 'You can't do this', 'You can't do that', 'It's never been done before'. I love it when someone says ' No one has ever done this before', because when I do it, that means I'm the first person that's ever done it!
This is how we should think when we set up to do anything in life.
Uncertainty is what kills people. Not knowing if they're able to achieve it.
We need to brainwash ourselves every day into believing that we WILL do it NO MATTER WHAT.
All of these steps are equally important.
Do not skip them.
They are the foundation of your reboot.
They make rebooting so much easier. Your mind will be completely focused on what you want in life. You will be fixing the root of all your problems.
The secret of change is to focus all your energy not fighting the old, but on building the new.
Stop making posts complaining about your shitty life. Stop making posts saying how you're sick of being addicted to porn. Stop talking about porn altogether.
Instead, transform your journal into a self-improvement journal, focused 100% on moving towards the life you want.
"Forget" about porn.
This is basic rebooting stuff, yet many people are constantly breaking this rule. They write about porn cravings, morning woods, spontaneous erections, what day they're on, how much they struggled to abstain, how they can't wait to reach 90 days, etc.
When you consistently focus 100% on building the life you want, your mind will naturally move away from porn. You will also lessen the void left by quitting porn, which is very real.
Many people quit porn only to find themselves in this life emptiness that is very hard to handle. Then they go back to porn precisely because this void is too much for them.
Focusing on your life vision is a superior rebooting approach.
Relapses aren't that discouraging if you're actually improving your life. Ironically, you will notice that the more you focus on what you want, the less frequently you will relapse.
It's important that you think in terms of life vision and pursuing your dreams, not in terms of "I have to get busy and fill my life with activities so that I don't watch porn". This is something you're doing for yourself.
Stop ranting about porn.
This journey is about your LIFE.
Focus on that and the porn will go away.
Managing Your Emotional Life
Ok, let's keep going.
This is mistake #1 from my post The TOP 3 Fatal Mistakes Rebooters Make.
If you haven't read it yet, I highly suggest you do it after you finish reading this thread.
I want to talk about it again because it really is important.
Porn addiction is much more than just getting cravings and relapsing.
One of the reasons we become addicted is because of our inability to manage our emotional lives.
You have to remind yourself that quitting porn is about growing up and becoming a much more mature person.
It's much more than "I want to quit porn so I can cure ED and have plenty of sex with women!".
Much more than that.
We've been using porn for years as a method of handling our emotions.
We need to stop hiding away from uncomfortable life situations. We need to stop using porn in order to escape from reality.
We must learn how to handle life and emotions without the need of porn.
I'm going to quote Recovery Nation here:
"The second common trap that people fall into when transitioning from compulsions to recovery (or from any emotionally intense behavior to another) is their perception involving the emptiness phase of a healthy transition. To understand this, let's take a brief look at the broader addictive process in a person's life. In most addictions, the person has come to depend on their addictive behavior to manage their emotional state. The longer this person relies on such patterns, the more intense and ingrained this pattern becomes. Now, this is an extremely brief synopsis, with many additional issues to be discussed later in the workshop, but the point is: without the ingrained addiction, they are left with an emotional void that is very real. And very uncomfortable. The trap is in seeing this void as proof that their addiction was a natural, necessary entity in their life. They begin to feel an emotional emptiness...no urges...no pleasure...no anything. And they assume that something is wrong. That they need their addiction in order to feel normal. And here comes the porn, or the masturbation, or the affairs. And then, right on cue...here comes the excitement and pleasure and passion. Along with the guilt and shame and depression. But it doesn't matter. They would rather feel all of the emotions, than to feel nothing at all. And so, relapse occurs.
I remember thinking many times throughout my own struggles that I would rather experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows than to ever take a medication that would dim my emotions. I never feared feeling bad. I never feared the chaos that was my life. Not the misery, nor the pain. I cherished my emotional extremes as I believed that it was my ability to experience such extremes that made me who I was. My only fear was to feel nothing at all. This is common with many people who struggle with addictive behavior. Even those who state that they drink or use drugs or otherwise act out in an effort to "numb the pain" of past abuse, overwhelming stress, etc., are not completely accurate. They drink, use or otherwise act out to shift the emotions that they are experiencing — not to dull them.
The point to this is simple. To someone used to experiencing the extremes of the emotional experience — and suffering from true compulsive behavior is to experience emotions to their extreme — the emptiness that comes with a transitional ending can be overwhelming. The blandness, the void that is created when eliminating the behavioral patterns that managed the majority of your emotions is like removing your soul. You no longer feel "normal". You feel as if there is something wrong inside of you; like you are broken somehow. You might even feel that, without these compulsive behaviors, life isn't even worth living. That it is these behaviors that made you special. So, inevitably, you go back to acting out because even the potential negative emotional consequences of your behavior (guilt, shame, failure, loneliness, etc.) are better than to have no emotions at all."
and
"A second common motivator in recovery is the hitting of 'rock bottom' or, in realistic terms, hitting the point where the pain of the addiction can no longer be numbed by the addiction itself. When the emotional pain of the addiction's consequences have grown too great, the motivation to end the addiction kicks in as the addiction is no longer capable of serving its purpose. Although this is a significantly more powerful motivator than the first, it too, is ultimately doomed for failure in long-term recovery. Or, more accurately, it is doomed for a long-term recovery/relapse cycle.
What happens is this: when the emotional pain becomes too great to temporarily manage with compulsive behaviors, the decision to recover provides an intense emotional boost that helps to manage that pain. The person feels good. That feeling may last for weeks, it may last for months. But eventually, inevitably, the emotional intensity that came with the commitment to recover wanes, and the person finds themself, once again, lacking the ability to manage their emotional life. A return to the addiction (or another addiction) is the only emotional management strategy that they have. This, followed by a re-commitment to recovery...followed by another relapse...followed by, well, you get the idea. The cycle will not end until the motivation for ending it has changed.
Those who are motivated by a desire to end the pain of their addiction fare much better than those who are recovering for the sake of others. Such individuals can generate sustained, long-term recovery efforts. However, in order to make a true transition to health, the key will be found in their ability to move past the initial stages of recovery and begin to adopt healthy life management skills that will allow them to achieve emotional maturity.
So, in preparing your road to recovery, you will need to prepare yourself for a time when you might feel empty inside. It will come after the euphoria of beginning your recovery, and it will come after you have put an end to your desire to continue your life the way that it is. This period may last a few days, it may last a few weeks. Rarely, will it ever last longer than that. And in those few weeks, your goal will be to recognize this emptiness, and begin to fill it with the values and the dreams that you believe in."
We need to understand that one of the reasons we relapse is because we're pussies that can't handle negative emotions.
We use porn as medication. We use porn to hide away from life. We use porn to temporarily relief anxiety, stress, loneliness, boredom, anger, etc.
Once again, if you haven't read The TOP 3 Fatal Mistakes Rebooters Make, you should read it later on.
Learn how to manage your emotions without using porn and you will be achieving long term success.
Embrace all your emotions, negative or positive.
By the way, Recovery Nation is fucking awesome.
I highly recommend you check it out.
Readjusting Your Sexual Expectations
This is by far one of the most difficult things to do.
When you quit porn, you're not just saying good bye to artificial stimulation.
You're leaving behind the world of "never ending flow of hot chicks with big tits and round asses".
Real life is nothing like that.
We've been spoiled by porn. We believe that we should be out there having lots of sex with different women. We believe that this is the key to happiness and fulfillment.
The problem is that it is incredibly difficult and unrealistic to "fuck hot chicks on a regular basis".
There's nothing particularly wrong with having that goal, but you have to be willing to take some MASSIVE action. You have to go through hundreds of rejections. You need to have a lot of balls. You must do what 99.9% of men are incredibly afraid to do.
How many people here are doing what it takes to have the kind of sexual life we all dream about?
Very few, if any.
The only guy in the forum who was brave enough to do it is ssk08.
The rest of us are living in a dream world.
We see these super hot chicks on tight dresses and we hope that maybe someday we might be able to have sex with them. We read books about seduction. We visit PUA forums. We watch videos on YouTube of guys approaching girls. We make theories and discuss them online.
But we aren't doing shit about it.
It's all just a dream. An idea we have in our minds. Something we hope someday we will do.
Here's how most people get laid in real life:
A guy meets a girl he finds attractive, so he asks her out. They get to know each other. Then they continue to go out and form some sort of relationship. Then after some months the relationship either becomes serious or falls apart.
That's the real world.
You have to accept that, unless you're willing to take massive action, you won't fuck anywhere near as many women as you expect to.
Accepting this is very difficult, but it is necessary.
We need to learn how to live without this world of endless hot chicks, otherwise we'll become extremely disappointed and dissatisfied with real life, which is nothing like porn.
Anyone here is more than capable of getting a girlfriend. But our girlfriends most likely won't look like pornstars, nor they will act like them.
There's a very high probability the sex won't be pornographic in nature. There's going to be a lot of sensuality, caressing, and also clumsiness. Some days your girl will look sexy, other days not so much. Some days she'll be in the mood, other days she won't. Some days you'll struggle to keep it hard, other days you'll cum too fast. She might be able to achieve orgasms, or she might not. You might do it every other day, or maybe only 3-4 times per month.
Remember, pornstars are paid thousands of dollars to do what they're told and fulfill all your fantasies.
You must stop living in dream land.
I know this is very difficult to accept, but we have to give meaning to our lives outside fucking hot chicks.
Our happiness cannot depend on that. Otherwise you'll keep coming back to porn every time you fail to get laid in real life. You will remain attached to "sex with hot chicks" for the rest of your life.
One of the reasons GABE is such an incredible successful rebooter is because he had a deep change in heart. By this I mean that his approach is completely based on love and not lust. He views sex in terms of intimacy and connecting with another person. Watching porn doesn't even cross his mind anymore.
Now, I'm not saying you have to think exactly like him. But you should definitely change the way you view sex and women, because I can assure you it has been completely distorted by porn.
By the way, I don't believe there's anything wrong about pursuing casual sex instead of a relationship, just make sure you keep both feet on the ground.
I would also like to add that relationships are about sharing your life with another person. I know many people here want a girlfriend so that they can finally start getting laid, but relationships go much more deeper than that.
If you've never had a girlfriend before you'll know once you get one.
Thinking About Sex is USELESS
What's the point of fantasizing?
It accomplishes nothing.
It slows down the reboot, increases the urge to masturbate, and reinforces neurological pathways related to porn.
It's a meaningless activity that should be eliminated.
It keeps your mind focused on sex, tits, asses, fucking, when it should be shifted towards other activities in life.
If you find yourself thinking about sex, you should mindfully and calmly redirect your attention to something else.
You want sex?
Great.
Then do something to actually make it happen.
Fantasizing by itself serves no purpose at all.
You need to understand that if you want to abstain from orgasm and masturbation, you cannot be thinking about sex and women, because this will inevitably cause you to relapse. Trying to abstain while at the same time fantasizing or peeking at pictures of chicks will only lead to frustration.
Stay away from any kind of artificial stimulation. Don't take peeks. Don't browse pictures of girls online. Don't type pornstar names on Google image search. Don't read escort forums.
Do not arouse yourself.
Basically you have to adopt a philosophy of "I'm either trying to get laid (approaching, texting girls, going out on dates, flirting with women, hanging out with friends, getting rejected) or doing something completely unrelated to sex (work, studying, exercise, fun, reading, playing an instrument, chores, housework, watching movies)".
There is no grey area where you are alone thinking about sex or checking out girls online. This accomplishes nothing. It serves no real purpose. It will only increase urges, lead to relapse, and make you frustrated.
As soon as erotic thoughts pop up in your mind, you should calmly ignore them and refocus your attention to something else. You keep practicing this forever until you master it.
You have to attack this addiction right from the root. Trying to abstain from hardcore porn accomplishes nothing if you're still constantly fantasizing and peeking.
If you keep strengthening the mindset I talked about above, you will be making meaningful progress.
This used to be called "Monk Mode", but I don't like that name because it implies that you're going to become celibate.
This isn't about becoming celibate. This is about doing what it takes if you want to get laid, instead of wasting mental energy on sexual thoughts that will only improve the chances of relapsing.
If you ever want to achieve a long streak, you can't be checking out girls online, even if it's just some bikini pictures. You can't be fantasizing when you wake up in the morning. You can't be taking 5 second peeks at porn.
As soon as you do any of those things, this huge beast called porn addiction will take control over your prefrontal cortex and it's just a matter of time before you relapse.
You have to be extreme.
But don't worry, it's much easier than it sounds.
It's actually harder to stop yourself from relapsing once you're already thinking about sex, than it is to not think about sex in the first place.
How do you not think about sex?
Simple.
Focus your mind 100% on your life vision.
Every....single....day.
There's an interesting thread related to this created by bigbookofpenis (lol, nice username) here:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=14525.0
Take a look.
I completely support his "No Arousal Method".
Dismissing erotic thoughts as soon as they arrive in your mind is the cornerstone for preventing relapses.
This is basic stuff guys.
It's Not Orgasm What You Crave
Many people here believe that abstaining from orgasm is the most difficult part of rebooting.
WRONG.
When you get porn cravings, your brain is not asking for orgasm. As an addict, it is begging you for your hit. It misses the high, the tits, the asses, the novelty, the rush, the unrealistic sexual scenarios, the fantasies, the super hot chicks, the perfect camera shots, the feeling of letting go and indulging in pleasure, the fucking, the cumshots, the doggystyles, the boobs bouncing around, etc.
If lack of orgasm was the problem, then everyone would just fap without porn (or any other artificial stimulation). There would be no relapses and everyone would have 500+ day counters.
The urge to ejaculate only becomes a real problem once you start peeking, edging or fantasizing constantly. When you find yourself in a state of arousal then obviously you will want to cum.
But the initial urges are "addiction urges". They are mental. They are not a physical need for ejaculation.
If you feed these urges by peeking, even if it's just pictures of hot babes in bikini, then they will invade your mind and rob you of your ability to concentrate or remain calm. Eventually "autopilot" mode will be engaged and we all know what happens next.
You're not having urges to cum.
You're having urges for a "high" and a "rush".
Remember that.
This is why porn urges don't go away when you get a girlfriend.
It is a drug, and you need to learn how to live without it, regardless of whether you have a girlfriend or not.
When you abstain for several days or weeks, your sensitized pathways are anxiously waiting for any sexual cue, no matter how short or brief. This is why people mistakenly confuse real libido with porn cravings. They take a peek at porn after 15 days and they feel this intense rush and urge to cum, so they conclude that it is libido and that they must relieve pressure.
The problem was taking a peek in the first place. Had they just focused on more important things instead, they would've been able to finish the day clean without problem.
If you manage to completely abstain from fantasizig and checking out chicks online (in any form), then going a long time without orgasm won't be a problem.
And don't even think about testing or caressing your dick.
Focus 100% on your life vision.
Counters vs Spreadsheets
The following advice is aimed particularly towards those members who are having trouble getting a good run. If you're already doing good, you can skip this section.
Ok, here's the thing:
There is a sickening obsession with long streaks on this forum.
People like counters because supposedly they are helpful for tracking progress.
Well, guess what? Spreadsheets do a much better job at that.
There's a reason why I'm so stubborn with this anti-counter thing.
They are dangerous, destructive, counterproductive.
Counters reinforce the idea of being "back to zero" every time you relapse, making it way more justifiable to binge before starting over again. Not only that, but you completely lose track of how many times you're actually masturbating. They don't show the whole picture. There is absolutely no way to measure your progress at all. It's a never ending cycle of abstaining for a few days and then going back to zero.
Every time you reset your counter you become increasingly discouraged and unmotivated.
There's too much emphasis on what day you're on, no fap challenges (there are currently 7 no fap challenges running, it's ridiculous), 90 days, 100 days, etc.
If you're consistently unable to get past XX days and you're always in the low numbers, then your counter has lost its purpose.
Counters are only good when you've managed a good run, because this gives you a sense of accomplishment and provides sufficient accountability to actually prevent relapses sometimes.
Now, let's talk about spreadsheets, particularly Darxidius' format, which I'm a HUGE fan of.
This is why they're so fucking awesome:
- They keep your addiction under control: By keeping track of how many times you're actually masturbating and having orgasms, you will be forced to keep it in the low numbers. If you relapse, the spreadsheet will discourage you to binge, especially when you're sharing it with the forum. A good rule of thumb is to try to keep your orgasm count to less than 5 per month.
- They allow you to see the full picture. In gameover's words: "You don't realise how you forget over a month how many times you actually masturbate, peek, pmo or orgasm until you have it in front of you. I thought i was well under 3-4 orgasms a month but I have been up around 6-7 and this month was no better." You'll be surprised at how many times you're actually fapping.
- They completely eliminate the "counting" factor. All you have to do is keep it as clean as you can. Pretty cool eh? No more counting, no more 90 day goals, no more fap challenges. After all, we're trying to quit porn for life, not just 100 days or whatever.
- They will never discourage you. If you do relapse, you input it on the spreadsheet and move on. You don't make a new thread called "Relapsed again" or "Not making any progress". Trust me, if you went from fapping 25 times per month to 2-3 times per month, you're making huge progress, even if your counter only says "6 days".
Spreadsheets are NOT a taper off approach, of course. The goal should always be to never watch porn, to be as clean as you can, to take it one day at a time.
Tapering off, as in "I watched porn 20 times last month, so I'll watch it 15 times this month", will never work. You should never think like this. You should never give yourself the green light to PMO.
Ideally, you should replace your counter with a spreadsheet and completely forget about what day you're on. Then, if you do manage to get on a good run, you can put your counter back up for accountability and motivational purposes.
However, I understand many people here are in love with their counters.
They look pretty.
They are fancy.
I get it, I get it.
So this is what I propose:
(Once again, this ONLY applies to people who are struggling. If you're already on day 70 or whatever then don't change anything, but consider using a spreadsheet if you do end up relapsing.)
Set up your signature so that it can show BOTH a counter and a spreadsheet.
It would look something like this:
📷
This way you would be getting the best of both worlds.
How hard can that be?
Here's how you can incorporate it in your signature IMMEDIATELY:
Step #1: Log in to your Google account.
Step #2: Open Darxidius' spreadsheet here.
Step #3: Go to File->Make a Copy and give it a name
Step #4: Go to Share in the upper right corner and change it from 'Private' to 'Anyone with a link'.
Step #5: Add the following code to your forum signature (make sure you replace 'SPREADSHEET_LINK' with your actual spreadsheet link):
That's it!
📷
Anytime you need to update your spreadsheet just log in to Google Docs and open it.
Simple as that.
By the way, try to stick to Darxidius' format. I've seen many people use their own version of spreadsheets, but there is a huge advantage of seeing the graphical representation of green cells.
It's very motivating.
Conclusion
To sum it up, the typical rebooting advice of "Hey man, just do a 90 day reboot" is basically useless.
This is a very serious addiction and should be treated as such.
Willpower alone won't do it.
Change the way you live.
Change the way you think.
And please, stop making so many posts about porn, cravings, urges, relapsing, erections, 90 days, etc.
Instead, focus on the most important thing:
Your life.
Sincerely, TheUnderdog
--
Gotta clarify some things:
I have never said that the reason we started watching porn was because of life problems. In fact, I would argue that is not the case for the majority of us.
I didn't have any childhood issues or family problems when I was young. I just discovered porn on my own and liked it because it was very pleasurable. As kids and teenagers we are curious and horny.
However, as years go by, we become dependent on it not only because of its extreme addictive nature and accessibility, but also because we start using it as a way to cope with life.
The reason we start using porn and the reason we continue to use porn once we're addicts aren't necessarily the same.
I also didn't mean to say that all porn addicts have shitty lives. Actually by shitty all I mean is being dissatisfied in one way or another. Maybe you constantly put off your goals. Or maybe you waste a lot of time online and want to change that. That doesn't mean your life is shit. It just means it could be better.
I am completely aware there are exceptions. There is a guy who told me he had no problems getting instant makeouts and fucking chicks the same day he meets them. There are others who actually have incredibly busy lives and only watch porn to get some pleasure and relax.
Whatever your situation is, the main point of my post still stands. You should focus on moving towards what you want, instead of constantly complaining and wasting lots of energy on staying away from porn.
Concentrate on building the life you dream about and this will help you tremendously on your quest to overcome your addiction to porn.
submitted by TrollD4d to NoFap [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 17:44 OneSilverRaven Hide camera porn video

ALMOST A CHARACTER
When looking back on the first part of this review after I had posted it I felt like perhaps I had given the protagonist (Ninomiya Hajime) a poor representation. P-kun, or Protagonist-kun if you prefer, is a term I use to describe a VNs POV character when they are... less then developed. This isn't necessarily a condemnation of a novel (Yukizakura is a pretty good novel with this type of protagonist) but I'd be lying if I said I didn't use the term derogatorily. I am not blind to the fact that the appeal of "blank slate" protagonists in this genre specifically is higher then most, but I think the evidence is overwhelming that more beloved novels have more developed protagonists. Shirogane Takeru, Toomi Yuna, Emiya Shirou and others might not be what most people think of when recalling their stories but their is no doubt in my mind replacing them with a vehicle for easier self insertion would have been a mistake, as each is crucial to the feel of the narrative. Depending upon your opinion of DDLC as a parody of traditional novels you might even reference its call outs of the POV character as recognition that the vast majority of VN protagonists are not only underdeveloped but participate in actions that from an outside perspective they have no motivation to do. So when I reference IxSHE Tell and its protagonist I feel slightly bad about including him on the same list as Takao Ibuki rather then giants like Okabe Rintarou because he has SOME personality at least. So i'll make a compromise, just this once. When I can justify it I'll refer to the protagonist by name, and when he slips into self insert territory I'll call him out for it with P-kun, so if you see me switching back and forth in this review that's why. Part 2 is going to cover my thoughts on the common route and its assets so lets dive right in and talk about the title screen.
I DON'T THINK THAT CHAIR ACTUALLY APPEARS ONCE IN THE NOVEL
IxSHE Tell starts almost immediately upon launch with a loud trumpet filled intro track over a picture of five girls tightly clustered in front of a posh throne. A few weeks ago when I published my first review of HuniePop I commented at length about my personal pet peeve for title cards and this one is... not very good. For starters the characters are much closer together then on the promotional art picture of the exact same scene (the characters even have the same poses) and that tightness clutters the left side of the menu uncomfortably. The picture on VNDB is MUCH better and not only lets each character breath more but puts emphasis on the empty seat which was presumably left open for the reader. The draped curtains in the background and the bright gold of the title clash with the music as the upbeat tempo and almost party like tone conflict with what looks to be a much calmer and upper class if unusual arrangement formed by the heroines. As a group shot, this title card fails to show anything but the most superficial traits of its subjects. I guess you could gather Kozuka is younger then the others from her expression and clothing but her personality doesn't really fit the tone she's putting off with her body language and saying you could guess Yamabuki is a tsudere or Yuuki is confident from their posture is a stretch at bast. Muv-Luv's title card isn't PERFECT but it's a much better example of how things can be done right in a group shot where every character has something unique to convey their personality to the reader. Pretend you've never seen either of these novels before and compare just these two images on VNDB, the list of things you can guess about one game's characters is easily triple the length of the other. So not a great omen for whats going to come but who knows maybe the title card at 100% completion will be better...
BEING POPULAR AND FAMOUS
In the past year of 201X (Seriously? Mega Man style date? What is this a secret Sci-Fi novel? If you're so worried about accurately depicting a level of technology just leave the year unspecified nobody cares! All you're doing with this is drawing attention to it.) the novel opens with a strange bit of narration in which the student newspaper (presumably) talks about the virtues of P-kun... okay. And tells the reader about him by calling him the hero student council president. So we know this novel isn't compensating for anything out of the gate at least I mean we're JUST the legendary president of the student council it's not like we're also drowning in women or anything...
Anyway cut to an introduction to our first Heroine Yamabuki Yoshino presented with a cute title card claiming she "Can't fully hide her true feelings" so look forward to embarrassing the soul out of her all game. She's okay I guess, her introduction is twenty minutes of nagging P-kun in her capacity as vice president while everyone tells P-kun how great he is and stuff. Then she falls over for a pantsu CG and the whole thing is so forced and unbelievable it comes off as a joke which is REALLY not want I wanted my FIRST interaction with this girl to be like but hey maybe you like seeing strong women humiliated to the tune of epic suspenseful music more suited to a poorly done Lord of the Rings video game then a VN, no judgment.
The rest of the student council, all one of them, is introduced (Hakuwa Shoukichi) as well as presumably the president (Kozuka Yui) and vice president (Ninomiya Aoba) of the neighboring sister school who's name is unimportant enough I'm not going to bother looking it up but it directly feeds its students into P-kun's academy so thats nice. Aoba is P-kun's sister and an adorable brat, she and Shoukichi spend the entire novel as one note characters i'll discuss in detail later but both are pretty enjoyable to have around. For story purposes all you need to know is Shoukichi has a crush on the school idle and does all the student council grunt work while Aoba is three steps down from spoiled rotten and oscillates between totally obnoxious and sickeningly sweet and clingy. Oh and she's friends with Yui I guess.
Speaking of which Yui gets her own title card "Both childlike and mature" (THAT'S not code for anything) and has the best romance introduction in the game. Hajime pulls her aside and tells her that as a fellow student body president he wants to ask her for her advice. He's having doubts what he's doing is the right thing. Today's student council meeting was all about the abolition of the centuries old ban on romantic relationship he had pretty much single handedly championed and gotten passed and how it was going to affect the school. Yoshino, again, his vice president, had originally run against him as a supporter of the ban and still speaks out against it despite working with him diligently as he was the people's choice. Hajime expresses his fears for the future and openly questions if this new freedom will come at the cost of some people's comfort who will now be subject to unwanted advances. Yui's response is so well crafted I can't do it justice in this summery but she asks point blank if she is the only one who knows Hajime feels this way. When he reply's affirmatively she takes responsibility for all his fears, and dismisses them. As the only person who COULD blame him, by choosing not to she makes it so their is now no one who does. Again the scene is MUCH better then this but I still have over half the cast to introduce so take my word for it, GREAT first impression from Yui.
Next comes Yuuki Ayaka, the school idol and two year winner of some beauty pageant. Apparently she's voiced by Oohashi Ayuru who is an idol herself which is a neat touch but her introduction here is UNBEARABLE... Her Heroine quirk is "Fary-Tale ideas of romance" which translates to referring to herself as "Perfect and Kawaii" every third paragraph and rejecting the advances of over a dozen guys, including poor Shoukichi, and some unnamed student directly in front of P-kun and Yui on their walk home. Realizing P-kun is there, she flat out presses her butt on his groin while saying to his face he, as the schools most popular boy, is the only man she could accept the confession of. Which prompts P-kun to freak out internally as he apparently has a crush on her and is a member of her "fan club" whatever that means. Apparently Ayaka and Yui know each other and Ayaka is teasingly warm to Yui's teasingly cold, bet that's going to come up later. Anyway P-kun gets Ayaka to blush after she DECIMATES poor off screen confession bro and the scene ends.
We pick up with P-kun walking home with his childhood friend Hanamori Shiori who I THINK is the front runner for best hair but we'll have to see. Her quirk is "Madly in love, single-minded devotion," and she will oscillate between too shy to function and creepily obsessed with P-kun for the rest of the novel until the romance branches. Her scene here is completely forgettable and uninteresting because the only thing that matters is that you know she's P-kun's childhood friend.
At the dorms Hajime and Shiori apparently live at together with Yoshino (Because THAT'S fair to the other heroines.) a new student is transferring in after the semester already started in true anime style and she immediately latches onto Hajime during their introduction. This is Koshimizu Kasumi, the apparent LOSER of best hair by popular vote which is a darn shame because the indigo tints on her tips are pretty cute, but that's a topic for later. Apparently she knew Hajime, Aoba and Shiori from their childhood where she was really sickly and Hajime would come visit her and bring her the schoolwork she missed. This left such a huge impression on the girl she developed her quirk "Pure, unabashed adoration" of Hajime and now that she's all better and able to go to public school again ten years after they met she's here to reunite with her white knight. Honestly it's a pretty touching story that feels a little rushed but OH BOY wait till we get the resolution to this one down the line it is going to get SO much more painful to read.
But enough of that, it's time to meet the best character in the game Hanamori Yasumasa! Yasumasa is Shiori's little brother, which makes him YOUR little brother by right of childhood friendship, and he's adorable. Your introduction to him is at the last meeting of the club you preside over together hilariously called The Horny Brigadier Brotherhood with the sole goals of creating and maintaining a free, secure network to browse porn at the school and abolish the relationship ban. Today's meeting disbands the group as Hajime steps down from his position as general (Which is weird right I mean can you even be the president of two groups simultaneously in Japanese schools I didn't know that was a thing but regardless) and Yasumasa is the vice president. When one of the members gets too rowdy Yasu threatens to suck him off and I'm going to have to stop this whole review for a second because that one line is my favorite in the whole novel.
Full context, I am a bisexual man. I lean about 60/40 in favor of women and didn't discover this part of my sexuality until I was in college, so the majority of my taste is centered around more traditional media rather then BL or Yaoi, but I do dabble in that as well. Yasu as a bisexual character is something I almost never get to see because in the words of my real life little brother "Japan only has two sexualities it recognizes, straight and fetish." Even setting that aside though for all the LGBTQ+ representation in American and Japanese media the B part of that is actually really hard to find good examples of in media ESPECIALLY male versions. They exist, but in recent years especially what little their is often gets drowned beneath a sea of purely homosexual characters and stories so its harder and harder to find. I can't tell you how excited I was to have this opportunity presented to me to see a good bisexual character because this game has a real chance to positively portray him and might even give the barest note of something between him and Hajime. I wasn't expecting a full romance route or anything, but their has to be a failure route in this game, and THAT is the perfect place to put something. It doesn't have to be flashy, maybe just a confession scene where Hajime, who rejected every one of these five girls, is approached by Yasu who questions him about why he's still single. It could end with a kind rejection, CG optional, or maybe even a kiss after the fade to black if they want to spoil me but this is a golden egg I'm BEGGING you Japan don't waste this...
After the meeting Hajime returns to his room and the narrative shifts to view the three love interests he boards with in the bath. Now I'm by no means a pearl clutching reactionary, but their is literally no reason for this scene to take place in the bath outside of Echii. If you didn't install the H-patch the scene is bland and has absolutely no character sprites. If you did the camera hugs the largest tits in the room as the girls talk. This conversation could easily have been anywhere else in the building but whatever the first CG in this game was an up-skirt pantsu shot so I guess this isn't as egregious as THAT. This does give me a good opportunity though to mention I WILL be including the H-patch content in this review but I'll be sectioning it off as much as possible to it's own subsection. When I eventually get to the romance routes I'll be glazing over everything Echii but this particular scene was kind of unavoidable to mention because Kasumi announces that she is going to confess to Hajime in front of the other two girls... and then immediately gets out of the tub and does it! I don't know why I find that so surprising but we as readers met this character literally twenty minutes ago in and out of game so this is REALLY forward but I guess points for confidence.
Kasumi's confession takes place in P-kun's room and is... a mixed bag. On the one hand her story, that she was a sickly girl P-kun would visited frequently ten years ago to bring homework and spend time with before she moved away for her health thus causing her to motivate herself to get better so she can one day reunite with her white knight is touching and romantic but also feels kind of rushed for a reason I can't quite explain. Maybe its the way she tells the story but I get the sense it would have been more impactful if it had a few more sentences of build up somewhere but for what it is it's serviceable. Hajime, understandably, politely tells Kasumi the two of them just met kind of and while he's flattered she feels so strongly about him he can't return her feelings as of yet because he knows so little about her. So not fully rejecting her but not saying yes either, just a request to get to know her first. Then she trips on him and the camera zooms on her boobs. So that ruins the mood as Yoshino comes in to tell P-kun he's terrible.
A DAY OF CONFESSIONS
The second half of the prologue begins with Kasumi transferring into P-kun's class, because of course she is. the next five minutes are background nobodies saying she's pretty. After a time skip to lunch these murmurs of Kasumi's apparent good looks reach all the way to the third year classes apparently because Ayaka bursts into the class to see her new competition appalled that Kasumi has been here less then 14 hours and has already confessed to her "crush." After establishing that Ayaka and Kasumi are now maybe possibly rivals not only for P-kun's affections but the beauty contest crown as well Yui, who apparently ran all the way from the sister school, bursts into the room, catches her breath, and asks Ayaka point blank if she is also here to confess to P-kun. If all of this is sounding rushed don't worry it is.
Yui makes the kind gesture of apologizing in advance to Kasumi, who without question got to P-kun first, but nonetheless confesses her love in front of the whole class which WAY too embarrassing even for me and I can't help but think this poor girl is going to be RELENTLESSLY teased for this but whatever its cute she's so brave. Hajime gives her the same response he gave Kasumi, stating he wants to consider both of them before deciding, which is pretty cool of him not ganna lie. Kasumi takes it really well considering she's standing right there as it all happens and says she likes the idea the boy she loves is so popular so as many girls can confess to him as possible without bothering her. Everyone acts real mature about the whole situation and honestly the atmosphere of the whole thing is pretty sweet.
Then Ayaka interrupts the mood tripping over herself to ask P-kun out too.
Yeah, this is the worst confession in the game and her reasoning that "We should date because we're popular" is ridiculous. I don't have any jokes about this I just find it really poorly executed, 0 points.
After that P-kun is chased out of the classroom and down the hall by a ravenous group of girls in a brief break for levity before the novel establishes P-kun is apparently remembering arm day because he hoists himself into the student council room through the window, and will do so on a regular bases throughout the rest of the novel. Inside he's greeted by Shiori, Yoshino, Yui, and Kasumi as well as the entire student council important enough to have a sprite. Yoshino, unable to take the second hand embarrassment of the girls who already confessed to P-kun cooks up a ridiculous plan. She confesses her "love" for him, saying she wants to have the most debauched relationship possible to get the romance ban reinstated and end all this chaos. The only important part of this is that no one thinks she doesn't actually like him and just felt jealous so she did something rash. Aoba asks if her brother is going to die tomorrow to keep karmic balance and at this point I wouldn't be surprised if he did.
Anyway somehow this group chooses to be productive after all that and discussion begins on a PR campaign that the photography club, of which Shiori is a part, will be helping with. Hajime is nominated to be one of the models for a series of posters showing a model couple for students to look up to and the remaining girls fight over who will be his partner in the pictures. Everyone has their own reasons for why they should be picked but just when the reader may think they'll be given the first choice of the game Hajime (After a day of deliberation, a visit to the cafe Ayaka's parents own in which she works so SHE can be in on this, a much better and cuter scene then her introduction with Shiori at the dorm, and an admittedly pretty good fake out when Hajime gives a speech to the student body about the right to love in which we get a LOT of time with Yoshino.) just chooses Kasumi and the whole thing resolves... and then Shiori confesses her feelings in front of the other girls in the weirdest, most unsettling way possible.
In a CG where she twists her head to look over her shoulder as it tilts back, Shiori, backed by the most ominous track possible, expresses she has loved P-kun since childhood blah blah that parts not interesting she looks like a total Yandere. Like no joke if this was the only picture you had to go on, which at this point it is, you'd expect this game to devolve into Love Letter at some point down the line it is TERRIFYING! Gotta admit though her stance of "If all it takes to get a yes from you is to get to know each other then I should easily win because I've known you for years." is a pretty good argument. Seriously though I really can't stress this enough she isn't just setting off a red flag it's BLOOD red.
OKAY MAYBE THIS IS A LITTLE TOO POPULAR.
The first of five subsections in the common route opens with P-kun being chased by a hoard of women and a 90's style record scratch sonic movie opening "Yeah, thats me, if you wanna know how I got here we have to go back to-" in medias res. Now because of the way the heart system works my summery from this point on is going to SOUND really surface level and bare but for every scene I gloss over with a sentence it is entirely possible something takes place that may not be important to the STORY but was purely designed to endear the reader to the heroine featured in it. I'll point out any moments I feel are noteworthy but just because not much PLOT happens doesn't mean NOTHING happens alright?
P-kun has a flashback to this morning when Yoshino walked him to school and the two of them were mobbed by a hoard of girls who either want to ask him out or ask him about the girls who asked him out. He runs and abandons Yoshino to the wolves. Good boy Yasu meets up with Hajime for the cross view section which I will cover quickly. Yui's scene is just talking with Moka and getting pumped to go spend time with P-kun. Yoshino deals with the aftermath of being abandoned. Kasumi meets a cat girl and acts cute. Ayaka is swarmed by fans who agree to help her track down Hajime and Shiori has a panic attack. You see what I mean about these summaries? Each of those scenes was probably a ten minute read where not much happens but you're able to spend time with the heroines. I'd love to go line by line and talk about how charming some of these moments are but this review is already a monster so I'm just going to have to move on.
Yasu is being blackmailed into helping the mob of girls but he nobly sacrifices himself for p-kun to escape, fainting to distract them. Hajime ends up at his favorite spot on campus, the Clock Tower, where Ayaka visits him and they have a chat. Apparently Ayaka's fan club is working like a not so secret service to give her an advantage. Which I kind of want to say is cheating but will let slide because the other girls get outside help from their friends later in the novel. Anyway the mob finds them and Hajime flees again, this time to the auditorium where Kasumi gives him a lunch since he probably hadn't had a chance to eat yet and if you don't give her a heart for that you're a monster this is a legitimately sweet gesture. Hajime freaks out that she was keeping the milk she got him between her breasts, must be a Japanese thing because I don't know a single teenage boy who would care. Anyway you can guess what happens, they're found, he flees, this time he's pulled into an unused room by Shiori who sits on his lap, which is somehow NOT a CG but whatever I'm not salty. The title screen has her in a close position to what I imagined anyway. Anyway more girls and more fleeing. (How long has this been going on don't you kids have class to get to?) Now Hajime climbs trough the student council room window again and finds Yui who stuffs him under her desk to prevent him from being spotted and we get ANOTHER pantsu shot which is WAY over quota now and its not even tasteful. Like this is full on up the skirt vag view, for which Hajime is rightfully punished by... being crushed between Yui's thighs... are we sure this is before the Echii patch add ons?
The school day comes to an end when literally every heroine, Aoba, and Moka all end up at Ayaka's cafe (she had invited Hajime their in the earlier scene) and they talk for a bit about who Hajime is going to take on a date. For the first extra scene the reader gets to make that choice. Kasumi takes him to the mall where she clings to his arm, not a great scene but playful I guess. Yoshino runs into her political supporters against relationships and forces Hajime to pretend they are just out together as friends. Ayaka has a truly forgettable scene of walking with Hajime. But the two stand outs are definitely Shiori and Yui. Shiori has a scene I'm guessing is much more sexual in Japan where you measure her cup size, I don't know maybe that's your thing I just can't get over the *squish* sound effect it's like a bad anime skit. Yui calls you Onii-chan for the ONLY time in the novel and asks you to pet her head which is ADORABLE and it is a CRIME this is the only time this happens.
Next day, new batch of hearts.
Hajime runs out of ink for his pen... Theirs a joke here somewhere but I can't quite find it... anyway Yoshino offers him some of hers... god I really feel like I'm missing an innuendo here. Hajime turns her down and runs off to the campus store where he runs into cat girl and Ayaka. Apparently the store needs to sell a whole bunch of noodles nobody wants and cat girl is depressed about it. Ayaka offers to do a handshake event, which I guess is a Japanese thing where when you buy a certain amount of a product you get to touch a celebrity, and volunteers Hajime to be there too, so that's the plot of this subsection. All the girls find out about it and have their own reactions. The cross view section lays out their plans. Shiori skips class to be first in line. Ayaka uses her fame to advertise. Kasumi volunteers to work the store in exchange for four times the necessary amount of noodles to qualify for a handshake. Yoshino beats herself up over wanting to go to the event and not having a good excuse (She's really starting to lean into that aggressively shy personality about romance.) And Yui has a HEARTBREAKING scene where she thinks about how even the short distance between the two sister schools is a roadblock to her romantic prospects because unlike all the other girls she has to run every day to even SEE Hajime and they just have to go to class. She finds out about the handshake event but by then she knows she'll be way back in the line. Oh and Aoba has a scene where she tries to price gouge people and fails miserably, so that exists.
Anyway the actual event takes place and all the Heroines get a chance to interact with Hajime, the scene comes off as a bit comedic with Yui wearing a disguise so the artist can make use of the alternate lab coat outfit she has for no good reason. Yoshino's indecisiveness makes it so she gets in line too late to buy any noodles but Kasumi gives her half of the ones set aside for her day of work. Ayaka cracks some pretty good jokes, and the whole thing ends with a photo shoot for the whole group where Ayaka surprise kisses Hajime on the cheek. And Shiori is there too. Then you get the least interesting extra scenes in the game. I mean they aren't BAD they're just comparatively the worst of the bunch. Ayaka tells you she was embarrassed to kiss you but swears she wants to make your heart flutter. Yoshino acts embarrassed on the walk back from school and runs off. Hajime just kind of chats with Shiori, walks Yui home, and gives Kasumi her "handshake" after she teases you. Nothing terrible just nothing super interesting either.
FAVORITISM
The next scene is a fireworks festival and the best part of the whole game. I mean it if you could somehow only play one part of this novel THIS is the part you should do it is cute, fun, has great jokes, honestly its better then any of the romance routes so if this review has gotten you interested in the game I honestly recommend a blind look at it you'll have a blast.
The girls get into an argument about who is going to be Hajime's date to the festival and decide to play a game called King to determine the winner and while I would have LIKED to have this scene take multiple paths it always plays out the same way but the jokes here are top notch as the girls all try to one up each other. Theirs a CG of playing the Pocky game with Yoshino and it's adorable, honestly Yoshino kind of steals the show during the game till she passes out peso pon. Eventually the girls all drop out one by one until Kasumi wins and gets the right to your fireworks date. But tragedy! That night she calls Hajime saying she lost a special pendent and just can't leave the house without it. So he tells her to stay put since it's getting dark and goes to the school to look for it.
The cross view this time around has the first of two tied for worst scenes in the game and some really cute moments. Kasumi ruminates on how cool you are for understanding she can't go on the date with you and decides to go to the school to look there even though you told her not to, but she's the outlier because literally all the rest of the heroines plan a big party at Hajime's dorm on Aoba's suggestion. In Yui's scene we see her upset that she lost the game with the other girls and Aoba suggests the party to cheer her up, why the developer decided this scene needed to be done from both Yui's AND Aoba's perspective when Yui would have been fine on her own I don't know but I HATE when visual novels repeat themselves like that it's maddening. The difference is literally six lines of dialogue but to find it I have to sift through all this stuff I JUST read, it's a waist of time. If you want me to have both perspectives, wright the scene in two parts and put one after the other, like Aoba recommends the party and then Yui thinks about what a great friend she is shortly after ANYTHING ELSE but this. Shiori, Ayaka, and Yoshino all get invited and agree to go. Their's also a really nice scene of some random no name guys talking about Hajime and how jealous they are of him but it's not mean spirited or anything they act really casual about it, honestly this might be my personal favorite of the cross fades its just got a really nice atmosphere to it.
Hajime arrives at the school and tells off my boy Yasu for bringing a camera to school to catch couples getting frisky on campus during the fireworks which totally sounds like its going to happen given the recently lifted ban on romance making people lose themselves in the moment but Hajime is a total cock block and tells him to go home. After a long time searching Hajime bumps into Kasumi and just when they're about to lose hope and go home the fireworks start and a glint of light leads Kasumi right to her pendent on the ground. Overjoyed, but sad they missed their chance at a date, they head back to the dorm to find the party in full swing and have a great time. the extra scenes are all post festivities and range from decent to too cute to exist. Yui and Ayaka get walked home, nothing super interesting but sweet. Shiori helps clean things up and you do the dishes together like a married couple. But Kasumi and Yoshino definitely win this round. Yoshino, like a boo from Mario, inches closer to Hajime when he looks away but losses her nerve when he looks at her. Intentionally turning to see what she's trying to do but without looking directly at her he sees her creep up and lock pinkies with him with a triumphant "Yay! I did it!" under her breath. He responds by holding her hand and the two of them clean the outside party area together. Kasumi looks up at the starts and talks to herself about how fortunet she is to have met Hajime and when he approaches her she asks if, just for a moment, he'll let her think of him as her hero as she cries on his chest in relief she still has her pendent. It's not a long scene, but it is incredibly touching.
the next subsection is a party at the dorm, no not the party we just had a different one, this time a sleepover. Theirs a scene with Hajime's teacher who I have purposely avoided speaking about until this point. Rest assured she has been here the entire time I just don't think she's very important. This is the exception however as Hajime runs off to save her from drunk driving and we get the cross view early. Ayaka stresses over what to wear with Moka, a scene we also get from Moka's perspective, same problem as last time don't worry I won't repeat myself. Yui rolls around in Hajime's bed, which I don't THINK is an innuendo in this case but who knows? Kasumi tries to bribe Aoba into giving up information on her brother and gets conned. Yoshino agonizes some more about being in love and Shiori hits her brother while thinking about getting treated like a 50's wife. Hajime brings the teacher back to the party and she kisses his cheek before being murdered off screen by five jealous women.
After ANOTHER scene in the bath involving talk about all kinds of girl stuff it would be inappropriate for me to reveal here due to its private nature Hajime goes to take a bath of his own and all the girls show up in their swimsuits because OF COURSE we need a swimsuit scene this is a VISUAL NOVEL come on! Their is a lot of unnecessary boobs and then extra scene time. Ayaka is outside and reiterates to Hajime her desire to make his heart flutter. Yui sits on the couch with him and lets him pet her. Yoshino also gets head pats. Shiori comes to visit and nearly kisses p-kun and Kasumi burns her sensitive tongue after an indirect kiss. It's all really cute, good note to end the extra scenes on.
The last section of the common route is the Haloween party and this is the point the narrative has been building toward. Tonight, Hajime chooses one of the girls to ask to the dance and finally gets a girlfriend and it is the least interesting part of the whole novel. It's not TOTALLY worthless, Yui and Kasumi get to be pretty cute but 90% of this section is just the heroines agonizing over who he's going to choose. Theirs a subplot about Yui being too busy to go to the party but its resolved quickly and the whole cast ends up together for a little free time and competition that Kasumi and Yui totally win. Something to note in the cross views is my good boy Yasu reveals he's into traps and shows the entire student council, all one of him, a picture on his phone of one. The scene ends with the first and only choice of the game. Who won your heart?
THE LONG ROAD TO ROMANCE
In the previous part I alluded to the fact I would be discussing the entire rest of the game in part 2 but as you could guess from the fact their is a paragraph left in this post I'm going to have to renege on that. I have no intention of stopping here but I'm going to need to make this a three parter at least, I just bit off more then I can chew. Next week, I'll focus on what happens with each heroine when she gets the chance to interact with P-kun by herself. If you're liking this review so far be sure to let me know as I'm putting a LOT more work into this one and feedback is the only way I can know if it's paying off. If you've read the novel let me know what you think of my summery, naturally I had to leave a lot out but I'm curious to see if you would have included something I overlooked or vise versa. Regardless, I hope you were entertained, stay well!
submitted by OneSilverRaven to visualnovels [link] [comments]


2020.08.28 01:44 500scnds Hide camera porn video

Source
There is also a "guestbook" thread in the comments.
Questions Answers
I'm honestly not even sure this is an appropriate question to ask but I'm going to do it anyway. How do you feel about caregivers? My own story is (still) waiting moderation before it'll be posted on disability, but I'm a caregiver who is on 24 hour call for my disabled from birth younger brother. I feel like, people who end up dedicating significant parts of their lives to take care of a disabled loved one are often treated like ghosts by society. In my own case, I'm largely isolated outside of my immediate family so of course nobody knows that I exist but when I look around online and read stories from other caregivers I feel as though many of them would share my sentiments. When we share our stories, we get hit with stock responses such as omg you're a good brothesisteson/daughtehusband/wife/whatever else but, that's about it. After that, we get memory holed. I think that there's a lack of emotional/psychological support networks for people who have a caregiver role. It's one thing if you're a nurse or what have you, being paid to take care of someone you barely know but it's quite another when you're someone with no formal training who has been in a caregiving role for a family member for the majority of your lifetime like me and who will be in that role for their entire lives. No caregiver does what they do for recognition or props or whatever. If like me, you're doing it because you love the person that you're taking care of. Still, it's a challenge both for the person being cared for and the person giving care. Apologies if I'm doing this wrong. I'm 34, and I've never used Reddit until literally yesterday so I'm learning as I go. So yes, to close: How do you feel about caregivers? Is society doing enough for them? Thanks for sharing--I am someone who relies on paid and unpaid home care workers/caregivers so I appreciate your question. I would say that this speaks to our society's devaluation of care and caregiving, which for the most part is done by women (and I think there's definitely a gendered aspect). It's not seen as 'real' work that requires expertise and skills. It's not respected. There are various advocacy groups for family caregivers and actual advocacy on caregiving policies if you are interested. For example: https://www.caregiver.org/ and https://www.rosalynncarter.org/
Hi hi! First time poster on AMA. (Am I doing this right?) I am so grateful for your time and attention today. I have a question about advocacy, one that leaves me awake at night. Is it even appropriate for me to advocate for people with intellectual disabilities, as a non-disabled person? To give a little background, I am not a person with intellectual or physical disabilities but I am an art educator for people with disabilities and my older sister is neurodiverse and I facilitate much of her needs, which is why I often talk about abelism and openly advocate for disability justice. However, and there are times when I’ve been told to “stay in my lane” when talking about disability, because I don’t have any lived experiences as a person with disabilities. I understand my privilege and the unequal power dynamic between people without disabilities and with disabilities… but I truly feel like I’ve been impacted by “disability” through the way our society marginalizes and segregates people with disabilities. I'd love to hear your perspectives. And thank you! Hi there--it's my first time too and it's NERVE WRACKING. I think I'm doing ok. Thanks for joining. I think this is a tricky thing to navigate and I appreciate your question. We do need allies and advocates in the disability community, non-disabled people included. So much of what's needed for non-disabled people is how to remember to center it on disabled people and to not make it about yourself (because unfortunately there are lots of folks out there who do that and suck up all the oxygen and attention). The way you frame yourself is important too on how you talk about your approach with advocacy such as, "I'm working with" versus "I'm doing this for" things like that. And I also think listening to critique and taking it seriously by disabled people is important. You can stay in a particular lane and still be effective. The reason why there's such pushback at times is because we (disabled people) continually presumed to not be able to advocate for ourselves and that what we say doesn't have the same weight as when a non-disabled person says it (this is something I experienced). I hope this helps and encourage you to be as mindful as possible!
Hi Alice! I started reading Disability Visibility earlier this week and am really loving the range of authors and forms of storytelling in the collection so far. As someone who works in publishing, I was especially struck by the call to arms in your introduction for someone to form a disability-centered imprint at a publishing house, and more generally for the industry to hire more disabled employees. What do you see as some of the most common barriers and practices that keep disabled people from jobs in publishing? What do you think is the simplest first step that lower-level people without hiring power can do to make the workplace more accessible and inclusive? I think of of the things that came out of the pandemic is the expansion of remote work. I was thrilled to see an internship by Macmillan (I think) that's all remote this year. HOWEVER, it was also bittersweet when I think of all the disabled and chronically ill people over the years who never had the chance due to location, work hours, lack of flexibility. Some of the barriers are immediately attitudinal: 'I can't find disabled candidates' or 'Can this person really do the job?' I also think there's a big class element too. Publishing, like other fields, is about networking and who you know. If publishing truly wants to face the reckoning in a meaning way they'll open up their ideas of what kinds of qualifications and skills are needed. They'll also offer opportunities for disabled and people from underrepresented communities to have work experience in a variety of ways, they'll provide material support for those who can't afford to travel or pay for things (but have the potential and talent). Things like that. I REALLY want to see more disabled and chronically ill people in publishing in all divisions/roles and that means transforming the way work is structured. And when you build in accessibility, it's going to benefit ALL. And hey, and spread the word about the idea of a disability-specific imprint with your colleagues! I'd love to help make this happen. Thank you for your question.
Hi Alice! I am the director of the disability services office at your alma mater. What general advice do you have for disabled students in higher education? Would your advice for students with a visible disability differ from your advice for those with an invisible disability? Not sure which alma mater but maybe IUPUI, I'm guessing? My advice wouldn't be different for students with a visible or invisible disability. I would generally say: "You have rights and should not feel any hesitation in asserting them. You belong on campus and deserve to enjoy everything like any other student. There will be people who underestimate or dismiss you due to ableism but you are not alone--connect with other students on campus and at other schools because there is a wealth of knowledge and support out there"
the below is a reply to the above
Thank you for your reply. Yes, I am at IUPUI. I apologize for not being clear. I would like to share your advice with students at IUPUI. Might I have your permission to post your advice --with attribution--on our web page? Sure!! Take care--oh, those IUPUI days...
the below is another reply to the original answer
I know one of the biggest issues is to get over the fear of stating I'm disabled, and asking for help. I went to SDSU for 6 years. Three of those, I put with walking long distances. Then I had a young man with an artificial leg confront me about why I was doing what I was doing. He went with me and introduced me to the disabled services department. I got a disabled placard and was able to drive on the campus and park at the front door for many of my classes. My grades skyrocketed and I was able to get in grad school. That's awesome and thanks for sharing!
Hi Alice! I was curious about what advice you had for disabled editors who may want to put together anthologies / collections in the future? What did you learn that you wish you had known/what were some happy surprises along the way? Hi Sandy! Thanks so much for asking this question. First, we need MORE disabled editors, copy editors, publishers! I would suggest if they are looking to do an anthology to think about what's missing and what they want to share with the world. What will make your collection different? I learned a bunch of things since this was my first time working with a major publisher--the joy of collaboration and the importance of respecting and defending a writer's style and voice. One surprise for sure is the amount of work finalizing a manuscript for print--I have a deeper appreciation of what goes into putting a book together and how many different people are involved!
Hey Alice, congratulations on the book! I'm currently talking to the folks at Penguin Random House to see who distributes the book in the UK, hopefully I'll have a copy in my hands soon! The book is the only book I can think of which has had a audiobook, e-book, and a plain language summary. What were some of the challenges in organising these versions of the book to ensure it would be as accessible as possible? I hope to see more books be this accessible! Hi there! Thank you very much for your question. I know that several folks I know in the UK had trouble getting a copy, they were sold out or back ordered. I was delighted that the publisher released the e-book, audiobook, and paperback at the same time so that readers have options. And it was important to me to add as much complementary materials with the book that can open up discussion and access even further. I learned a lot from disabled people who use plain language on how this is an access issue that's often overlooked so I hired autistic writejournalist Sara Luterman to write the plain language version and writer Naomi Ortiz to write the discussion guide. I wanted as many free things to go with the book. If you check out my website, I recently added an infographic too! I do not know for sure if my book is the first to do all of this but I hope it encourages other writers to do the same! https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/book/
Hi, thanks for doing this AMA Have you found ways in making psychiatric disabilities more visible in a healthy/positive way? I interview and center stories with all kinds of folks with psychiatric disabilities. I can never know or speak for folks w/ psychiatric disabilities and try to help share their stories. Here are a few pieces for example from my website: https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2020/07/22/abolition-must-include-psychiatry/
And this: https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2020/05/17/ep-77-mental-health-advocacy/
And this: https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2020/07/19/after-30-years-the-ada-leaves-people-with-psychiatric-disabilities-behind/
Hey Alice! There is a huge numbers of people with disabilities that are into nerd/geek culture. How can we make more spaces Ike cons, comics or gaming more accessible and inclusive? I am a total nerd/alien/cyborg so you're speaking my language! I see a lot of amazing disabled gamers on Twitch and other streaming platforms and all kinds of communities within fandoms that are by and for disabled people. One of my bucket list dreams for years was to attend San Diego Comic Con but I never got around to it (plus the heat and huge crowds scare me). It was pretty cool to see cons and other events go online this year and I hope that continues. I'd also love nerd/geek cons, events, platforms, and publications amplify disabled nerds, artists, makers! Thanks for asking and live long & prosper!
the below is a reply to the above
Any streamer recommendations? The only one I currently is goodtimeswithscar. There are a bunch of Deaf and disabled gamers out there--maybe check out https://ablegamers.org/ because they probably have networks of disabled streamers. I also have this podcast episode featuring 2 disabled people who stream/play https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2020/02/24/ep-71-games/
the below is another reply to the original answer
You may of really liked but it would be very frustrating at times. Things might of changed, but the years I went, I took my son and daughters with me, it wasn't very fun at times. I'm life long disabled person. My disability is in my joints. I can walk with a cane at times. There was only one disabled station. It was on the first floor, tucked in the very back corner. No benches, chairs or water on the second floor. But it was amazingly cool as well. Got to see the first panel for the Avengers movie, and just too cool. I used to go to Wondercon when it was here in the SF Bay Area many years ago and it was a much smaller and more manageable con. At least I had that experience and thanks for sharing!
What are some of the biggest changes/ improvements that still need to be made, to support differently-abled citizens, here in the US? What is the biggest challenge you (still) face? Hey there! Thanks for your question! Answering this can take an entire hour but speaking for myself I feel one of the biggest challenges is the perceptions of what disability is and how it's not valued. For example, disabled people are killed by police at staggering rates, disabled people are killed by their family members, during the pandemic disabled and other people (older, Black, Brown, Indigenous) are considered disposable or 'acceptable' losses. So in a nutshell the believe that our lives have less quality than others. And this is a social/cultural issue that can't be fixed by a law
the below is a reply to the above
As a an extremely physically disabled person, I love this answer. I love that you didn’t sugarcoat it. Nope--gotta keep it real because lots of people don't realize how many structural things are against us!
What would you most like to tell us that no one ever asks you about? So many deep dark thoughts....so many!! LOLZ. But seriously, I'd love to talk about things outside of activism all the things that I enjoy as a human being such as television, cat videos, delicious food, and other things. I have strong food opinions and am ready to share them with the world. Thanks for asking!
the below is a reply to the above
Now I want to know your most controversial food opinion! What is it? Let me think on this...this deserves a good answer. Will get back. Ok. Not sure if it's controversial BUT I think fries w/ aioli are better than fries with ketchup. I'll try to think of others...
the below is another reply to the original answer
Do you have any pets? Oh, I had the best cat a long time ago, his name was Meowmee. Rest in peace. He lived for a good long 14 years and our entire family was allergic but we suffered because he was great. After he died we moved into another home and decided it's better to have a dander-free environment. But I do love cats from afar!
What is the very best dessert? Thank you for this excellent question! Ok, here are a few of my faves and I cannot rank them because it would be too difficult - Sliced peaches from the peak of harvest, it's like eating sunshine - Panna cotta or lemon posset - CHEESECAKE - Apple and/or pumpkin pie - Ice cream (flavors: coffee, peanut butter fudge, brown butter, or chocolate)
NOW I AM HUNGRY! I hope you eat something delicious today!
the below is a reply to the above
What kind of peaches? As a person of Chinese decent also I always think of white peaches as my favorite. I am very lucky to be in the SF Bay Area and a dear friend went to a peach farm and got me some delicious yellow peaches!! But yes, Chinese folks love white peaches too!
What is the biggest change you'd like to see in terms of representation of disability culture in media? A few things but the very top is more disabled people of color!!! And especially all kinds of disabled people of color, who are queer, gender non conforming, immigrants, etc!
Hi Alice! Thank you so much for doing this! I was born with a facial difference but did not know I fit into the disability community until just a year and a half ago. Since becoming aware of this, I have been going down the long, complicated road of learning as much as I can about advocacy and representation…especially in performing arts and entertainment, which is my industry. Could you give some advice on advocacy for a “baby advocate” like me? Hey there! I'm still a baby advocate too--still a work in progress for sure. I'd say figure out what you care about and different ways you feel comfortable expressing yourself. There are lots of different ways to be an advocate and you shouldn't feel any pressure to do things one way! The more you ground your advocacy on what you're passionate about, you can't go wrong. And welcome to the community!
the below is a reply to the above
I appreciate you so much, Alice! Thank you for the advice and for everything you're doing! I'm halfway through Disability Visibility and cannot tell you how much of an impact it's making on my life. That make me really happy and I am so glad the book means something to you. That was always the hope!
Hi Alice! I'm a librarian and editor. What do you think we can do to encourage the publishing of own voices disability stories and discourage non-own voices takes on the subject? I LOVE LIBRARIANS (and editors)! Thank you for this question. I would say as librarians, hosting events and prominently displaying and supporting own voices stories would be a great start. Host events and programs/activities centered on work by own voices writers. As an editor, make own voices stories a priority. Not sure if you saw the recent hullabaloo on Twitter but Bookriot published a horrible recent list of books about disability that was majority non-own voices and disabled people were NOT having it. Pushing back on publications like Bookriot and demanding better coverage (and hiring disabled writers and editors) is something we can all advocate for!
Hi there Alice. Love what you are doing. MS sufferer and advocate here for youth and recently diagnosed. In my studies and experiences, MS and other autoimmune diseases and brain ailments have much in common and all benefit from each other when it comes to research. As great as that news is, I was curious about your views on two things. First, what do you think would be the most viable way to take what we know about disabilities and prepare it to educate a large demographic that would not understand the medical jargon and nitty gritty specifics (aka "explain to me like I'm five")? I've seen some great resources out there in sites and articles, but many still can go over heads or are not telling the full story. What medium do you think should be explored more as a possible connection point to the average person? Second, what is the best weapon against stigma you have seen so far and how you think the battle for awareness, acceptance, information, and change should move forward? And last but not least, do you have a kitty? If so, what kind? Thanks for your time! I'm all for using a variety of mediums to reach people. Using plain language and being as honest as possible is always a good rule of thumb. You can also be specific or broad. I think we shouldn't estimate what people are capable of or interested in so as long as you are being authentic and telling your story in the way you want, you can't go wrong. I used to have a kitty (there's a question on here where I talk about my dearly departed kitty). Take care!
Hi Alice -- thank you so much for doing this AMA! What did you find was the most surprising part of publishing a book? Hmmmm, everything's a bit of a surprise. I guess one thing is I do not know exactly how long the whole book promotion thing is supposed to last. It's basically a part-time job and one that I'm happy to do but it's a LOT of work and mostly uncompensated. I'm doing this for the love of the book and to get the word out as much as possible. Another thing is how fast things have to happen sometimes for the manuscript. Staying on schedule is a THING!
There’s a huge stigma against mental health disabilities, especially among American men. As an American man, what can I do to combat that and to combat the ableist American culture in general? Hi, thanks so much for asking this question! I learn from people with mental health disabilities all the time. As a man, I would definitely explore and reflect on the role of masculinity in keeping men from being open about their mental health. It's an unfortunate American value that we prize 'strength' and that we don't associate strength with vulnerability and asking or needing help. We're all interdependent and that's what makes us stronger as individuals and as a community.
Hi Alice Really enjoyed your book it was incredible, Did my dissertation for my undergrad on the human rights abuses of disabled people in the UK. I am now planning to write a book on the oppression of disabled people in the UK as a whole. What tips would you give to a novice writer? I guess it depends on if you're doing it from a historical perspective or something different but I hope you interview a lot of disabled people for your book and capturing what's happening now (and for decades) with austerity cuts. Not sure if you already saw this but Frances Ryan wrote a great book last year that might be of interest: https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2019/07/31/austerity-disabled-people-in-the-uk-qa-with-frances-ryan/
the below is a reply to the above
I want to make sure disabled people voices are elevated in the book. I also have my own experience to draw on. Dr Frances Ryan's book is what inspired my dissertation and was my most crucial source, I only wish it was required reading here in the UK. While I want to of course draw on the human rights abuses of the benefit system here, I also want to discuss peoples attitudes towards disability including both citizens and the media. Good luck!
Hi Alice! Thanks for doing this Q&A! There's a growing subset of disability and amputee-themed porn online at the various adult streaming sites. Does the disabled community support this genre of porn for exposing disabled actors to the mainstream viewing audience, or do you view it as exploitation? There are disabled people involved in porn and other forms of work in the sex industry and I support anyone who goes into this by choice and feels empowered by it. So many aspects of culture are exploitative because of the gaze and who is the one gazing and who is the object. And we've seen lots of artists and cultural workers subvert these notions.
Who are your favorite authors/what are your favorite books? Hey there! There are SO many writers!! I do have a list of additional reading in the back of my book if you want to discover more. One recent favorite is a YA graphic novel by Marieke Nijkamp, "The Oracle Code." It's excellent and you can check out my Q&A with Marieke here: https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2020/03/09/qa-with-marieke-nijkamp-the-oracle-code/
How do you think beauty standards interact with disabilities? I'd imagine it's overall negative, but regardless what are some changes/actions you'd hope to see both societally and within disability support groups to help overcome these effects? Beauty is often associated with desirability, wellness, and 'good,' which is super problematic, right? Because the pervasive idea is that disability is not beautiful (literally and figuratively). For me, having more stories of people who are comfortable and confident with who they are is one way to push against these standards. It's also awesome to see disabled people in fashion as models and designers.
Hi Alice! I am trying to learn more about microaggressions and how we sometimes say stupid things that we think are positive but are actually causing pain. I know there must be many examples of this, but is there one microaggression that you encounter very often? Compliments that really aren't compliments is one microaggression I face a lot. Like, one thing you can check yourself is if something is really worth praising if a non-disabled person did the same thing. Sometimes non-disabled people are so blown away by what I do and that can be low-key annoying because I'm just trying to live my life!
I missed your AMA but I’m hoping you’d be able to give me your opinion on internet spaces that are dedicated to “calling out” people who are believed to be faking being chronically ill or disabled? Like here on reddit is a sub called Illnessfakers Most of the people they talk about are people considered to have an invisible disability. Do you think fostering/encouraging this kind of scepticism is bad for the disability community or is it good to point out people who take advantage of the system even with the risk of being wrong about someone faking it? On one hand people with invisible disabilities already have so much trouble accessing support they need and not being believed but on the other these people may be taking up resources someone else really needs. I was afraid of joining Reddit because of subs like that one! I HATE any speculation about a person's disabilities. I know many people who have been targeted and harmed by that online groups similar to that sub. I'd rather err on the side of someone receiving something than harassing and interrogating someone based on presumptions about their needs. No one can really know a person's needs by looking at them or interacting with them on a superficial level. Nor is a person obligated to defend or prove anything, especially to strangers when we know this information can be weaponized against them later on. The scarcity model shouldn't force us to hurt one another. For more, check out my interview with Dr. Doron Dorfman who has done research on this: https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2019/01/27/ep-43-disabled-fakers/
Hi Alice! I'm a recent college grad diagnosed with a mental health disorder (clinical depression and substance abuse disorder - not active, but still a concern) a few years ago. As someone who's disability is very real but invisible, do you have any tips on how to go about (or if I should go about) disclosure in the workplace/romantic relationships/friendships? I find that talking about it with friends and family has gotten easier, but it's harder to know how to go about communicating how my disability affects my performance in a work setting, and how to go about telling romantic partners about these challenges in a way that doesn't act as an immediate turn off. Thanks for doing this! It is TOTALLY hard, right?!? Even with an apparent disability, the need to disclose or explain stuff can be draining or anxiety-producing. I personally think identifying early on (in workplaces or relationships) might be helpful because 1) their reaction will let you know who they really are and you can decide whether they are a real friend or someone who cares about you and 2) people can at least start understanding you as a whole person and this is definitely part of who you are that you don't have to hide anymore. Again, there are always risks and it can be awkward or unpleasant. I would definitely seek out advice from other folks with mental health disabilities. There's also this website that might be of interest: https://www.invisibledisabilityproject.org/
Hello Alice, I had a question regarding anxiety and depression as disabilities. I recently went through our company’s yearly training and one of the courses was on disabilities. However there was no mention of mental health being a disability. There are days when I’m just so anxious I feel paralyzed and very unproductive. My managers are aware of my anxiety and are supportive and encouraging. While I’m not currently at any spot where this is significantly interfering with my life, I have had these spots and know I will have them again. I guess my question is, is having a diagnosed mental illness a possible disability currently? (USA) I don’t like using my few PTO days for when I have a series of days like this, and just wondered what your thoughts are in situations such as this, where a person can, for all intents and purposes, be incapacitated by anxiety/depression but it’s not something that’s an ongoing disability? TIA Edit: just saw your response to neonbluefox but if you could expound on that I would appreciate it! It sure is covered under the ADA because your disability impacts one or more of your major life activities. One resource that might be helpful regarding interactions with your managers, your rights under the ADA, and any accommodations you may need in the future is the Job Accommodation Network https://askjan.org/
Hi Alice. I'm really bummed I've missed this AmA, but I'm hoping maybe you'll check back. Colourblindness is a disability most people overlook. What do you think is a good way to get game developers to add colourblindness support to their games? Here's what I've tried unsuccessfully with BHVR, creators of DeadByDaylight: -Emailing the company (no response) -Tweeting the devs individually (no response) -A daily tweet campaign attempting to gain visibility through repetition (no response) How do I get through? Hey there! Thanks for your question! There are a bunch of disabled people in gaming who are also working in the industry or advocating for change. There's one person, Ian Hamilton, from the UK who has done a lot of work in this area who you might want to contact: https://twitter.com/ianhamilton_ There's also https://ablegamers.org/ And probably lots of other online communities just for disabled gamers who are equally passionate as you. Here's an interview I did with Cherry Thompson, another person you might be interested in: https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2020/02/24/ep-71-games/
Hi Alice. I've struggled with chronic illness since at least high school, and after being diagnosed I struggled to learn how to advocate for myself with accommodations both at school and at work, especially since my illnesses are largely invisible. How does someone learn to advocate for themselves, and are there resources explaining how to fight against people or institutions who believe accommodations aren't necessary? I'm so glad you asked! I'm about to publish a blog post containing a resource by Erin Gilmer called Preface to Advocacy which gives some advice to people who want to get started but not sure how. Here's a link to the Google Doc and I hope it helps! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SDomTEAcPhlM3DgZ73l4YGj9Q9N6liNjfKWHTQMmrZU/edit?usp=sharing
And having an invisible disability can be really tough in a world that constantly interrogates and doubts your access needs. Just know you are entitled to the same rights as other disabled people. The Invisible Disability Project might be a website to check out: https://www.invisibledisabilityproject.org/
I work in healthcare and my colleagues refer to any patient who presents in a wheelchair as “wheelchair-bound”. Is this offensive to wheelchair users? Thanks in advance This is a term I hate--speaking for myself of course. Bound gives the sense that we are trapped or limited by them which as you know mobility aids are essential for freedom & independence. I prefer a more neutral, "wheelchair user" term to describe myself. And whenever you are interacting with someone, always ask how they prefer to be identified!
the below is a reply to the original question
I'm not Alice, but I am a wheelchair user. For me--and, I dare say, most would agree--our chairs are tools that allow us mobility and independence to work, socialize, shop, and adventure. Medical professionals are notorious for assessing quality of lifewith a disability quite negatively, and the term "wheelchair bound" implies imprisonment. In fact, it is freedom. You might check this out for a fun way to change that thinking: https://www.ted.com/talks/sue_austin_deep_sea_diving_in_a_wheelchair?language=en DITTO
What has the Trump administration done to or for the disability culture, good or bad, and what can we expect, better or worse, if Biden should prevail? Trump has been detrimental to the disability community and so many other marginalized communities. We absolutely have to vote him out. Biden's disability plan is a zillion times better than anything Trump has laid out (although I was also a fan of plans by Julian Castro & Elizabeth Warren too): https://joebiden.com/disabilities/
My second question has to do with American Politics. Can you tell us a little about where your mind is at regarding this upcoming presidential election? And what are the things you're concerned about? And what are the questions we should be asking of our local and national politicians? I think there's such effort to suppress the vote by the President that it's frightening. This is happening with cuts in the postal service and happening at the state level where all kinds of shady stuff is happening that disproportionately harm communities of color. The pandemic is also making it dangerous for a lot of people to vote in person and there are people capitalizing on that to disenfranchise voters.
Hi! I’m a physician working in a hospital setting. All too often, I am horrified by how little effort is made to provide accommodations for patients with disabilities, often resulting in completely dehumanizing situations. I’d like to advocate for these patients and change how hospital care is delivered. Do you have any thoughts about this? Any recommendations? Hi there, thanks so much for this question. Isn't it ironic how healthcare settings remain so inaccessible?!? I am still trying figure out why that is. Such a long way to go to deal with racism, sexism, and ableism in medicine. One thing that's important to me is to have people from the disability community involved in a hospital's ethics committee (especially in light of the pandemic & development of triage guidelines). I would also recommend Patient Services to do a lot of outreach to the disability community about accessibility and accommodations AND for actual responsiveness & accountability when requests or complaints are made. It sucks, but sometimes disabled people who encounter barriers and try to work on finding a resolution have no recourse except for legal action because institutions do not comply with the ADA and other laws. One other thing--I hope there are more healthcare professionals with disabilities and there's a great campaign that you might be interested in checking out that highlights doctors with disabilities https://www.meeksresearchgroup.com/docswithdisabilities Thanks again for your questions!
My family is also from southern China and HK and I was wondering what the dialogue about disability was like for you, within that cultural context, particularly with respect to their views on you possibly having a family, children, career? I could say more about my own experiences but would just be interested in hearing about what messages you got growing up and how that affected your views of your own future. Hey there! Yes, there's a lot of cultural stuff that was difficult for me as a disabled person. The usual stigma and shame. The feeling that something 'bad' happened that caused my disability or somehow it was my mom's fault. If you look in my post at the very top, there are 2 links to essays by me that touch on me being a disabled Asian American if you want to check out. Also, there's an awesome essay in my book by Sandy Ho who talks about her experiences as well!
Hi Alice, thanks for doing an AMA. I'm a webdeveloper myself and am always curious how visually handicapped people consume the web. So how does this work out for you, what do you use and how easy/bad is that to use? And most importantly: what can webdevelopers do to make it easier to browse their sites. I know there's a whole WCAG guideline, but that's not just for visibility. So whats most important for you to be able to consume the web easily? What do you often miss and what makes it impossible for you to do anything? There are a TON of disabled people, especially blind people passionate about accessibility and specifically web development. If you are on Twitter, please check out the hashtag #a11y (accessibility) to discover a bunch of accessibility experts. I would listen and connect with those folks. For instance, Lucy Greco https://webaccess.berkeley.edu/about/staff-bios
Chancey Fleet https://twitter.com/ChanceyFleet
Jennison Asuncion https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennison/
And you can find out more: https://www.nfb.org/programs-services/center-excellence-nonvisual-access
And https://cforat.org/
Hey Alice! Thanks for doing this! I’m a big proponent of access for the disabled. I’m a grad student who was diagnosed with cancer half way through my program. I wanted to ask your thoughts with what your seeing that can be improved on for people with disabilities asking for help and ensuring access to help. When I was diagnosed I called my dean in tears asking what to do and while getting treatment, my school was supportive in terms of accommodating things I needed (access to class recordings when i didn’t go to class, moving clinical rotations when my immune count was low etc). But now that I am finishing up I am only now seeing that there are entire departments at schools that work on creating accommodations for students with disabilities. I recognize I am lucky my dean was so willing to work with me, but also, I had no clue of the office of disability services should he had not been so accommodating. Do you think there’s a way to help bridge that gap? This is why community is so important because we're not alone and we can share our experiences and advice with one another. Many campuses have disabled student organizations or disability cultural centers. There's groups such as https://www.ahead.org/home
I'm a producecinematographer for tv shows, and i shoot a lot people with disabilities. Honestly it can be tough initially when someone is letting a camera crew into their life. I do my best to really understand that, but it's still hard. What's the best thing someone like me can do to make you more comfortable? I mean, I have my things, but it's more about actually being able to show my true empathy and appreciation for people struggling and sharing their life with the world through television. I think giving the person as much agency in the process--considering the subject as a co-creator with you and to respect their feedback if they feel uncomfortable with something. Also, being very upfront about the theme and your approach because it's a huge risk for people to allow you into their lives when you have the control in the editing room. Giving people a preview of an early cut could also help so that if they see something that's a red flag they can let you know. In the end, you want people to be as proud of the end product as you are.
submitted by 500scnds to tabled [link] [comments]


2020.08.24 00:07 DadalieRanee Hide camera porn video

As said above, I'm a 19f who has been watching Shane Dawson for the better chunk of my life. I've sat through most controversies through the years, and with most decisions Shane made, I happily supported, even if I didn't like it. Like when he had Alexis G or Des on his channel each weekend. The comments were always full of hate and confusion, but I appreciated that he was using his platform to make some youtubers bigger. Not only that but I loved WTF news. When he wasn't out yet, and my cousin would insist he was gay while she watched me, I would speak up. "If he says he's straight, he's straight, that's it." Of course when he came out as bisexual I was happy for him, I was still hiding my sexuality and even my girlfriend from my parents at the time so it truly filled me with such joy to see someone I looked up to have the courage to come out.
I remember a lot about the last 8 ish years, I watched him through each faze he went through, each friend he forgot about, and even for most big projects in his life. I never even liked makeup but I was so close to trying to get a conspiracy pallet for myself even. I listened to his podcasts, and watched any movie he was in (Not Cool, Smiley, and that youtuber one, I forget because it wasn't amazing either). I even still have one of his books in a box somewhere.
Enough talking about my blind loyalty I suppose... let's start with what I remember when I was a fan in the early years. I found him when a friend recommended Joey Graceffa, I watches a few videos and really just wasn't to into the content until I watched a collab with Joey and Shane. This was prime Shoey times, and me being a closeted gay female with homophobic parents, my interest peaked. I knew they weren't in a relationship, but I will shamefully admit I shipped it.
Thats when I hopped over to Shane's channel, at the time he had a WHOLE lot of skits, and also a great amount of vlogs. I luckily only had him onYouTube, so no twitter grooming for me, however I did find myself excited to see what he would make next. I mostly watched Vlogs at first, they were filled with Shane's surface level friends, some forced humor, and his family. They were all usually around because of a new skit he filmed that they were backgrounds in, or because he wanted to show off his new song/parody. He was very energetic, and definitely lewd, mostly taking the time in his vlogs to either talk about his day, or speak really fast and loud so he can get a good 3 minutes added when working on something.
Now for the skits, something that almost everyone is talking about. Luckily I didn't see his collab with the fine bros with the puppet, something that disgusts me to no end. I remember he made jokes about anything. Fat jokes, Skinny jokes, abortion, abuse, rape, race, pedphilia or molstation, sexuality, beastiality, you name it, and it was most likely in a Shane Video. Some skits I admittedly really liked, like one he did about suicide, and how the world would be different if you weren't there. I am embarrassed to say I blasted super luv in a few middle school showers. Shit, I even repeated some of the jokes. I loved saying "what up bubble butts and gutter sluts," a shanaynaye classic, to my friends.
It wasn't to often I was really uncomfortable though, the black face did annoy me a little, I always thought it was for cheap (albeit racist) laughs. What really made me uncomfortable at first was the sexual jokes towards young girls. Not only am I a survivor of molestation, but I have a lot of family who are too. For some reason I would make excuses, mostly that it was just a joke. I noticed he was especially weird with his nieces or cousins, as well as jokes about animals all the time. The whole "shake ya titties more" is an example of that.
I was young, and soon put myself in the position to be groomed by a few guys when I was still very young. Although I'm not blaming anyone for mistakes I made. I do believe however, that a big contribution to me thinking the behavior that the men that was texting was acceptable was because I had already been someone conditioned to think it wasn't really serious and I should be flattered.
As I had said before, I also listened to his podcast, I started during the Lauren days, when his manager was his guest host. Admittedly I laughed a lot listening to the podcast over the years, listening while doing podcasts at school, and trying not to literally laugh out loud when I do. With that being said, there was plenty that kinda made me squirm, he just loved taking jokes too far and it sometimes got to me. His "Justification for pedophilia" was one of them. He was always just kinda weird with guests in general, especially when he was with fullscreen and had the production budget to do more. He had one guest go into the bathroom and squirt on his book. They reviewed Farah Abraham sex toys and porn, as well as constantly talking about her and her daughter in sometimes aggressive or distasteful ways. There was the talk about beastiality, pedophilia and just simple but unsavory conversations the farther they went.
Each of Shane's fazes had something to bring to the table admittedly. My favorite was the spooky boys faze, my least favorite was when his personality was eating and combining food, as well as not showering. However through the years, even if I didn't have it in the forefront of my mind, he has had a pattern all these years, a patterns of deplorable behavior that doesnt need to be taught as ok to this next generation. He might have changed so much, but what he changed wasn't the problem honestly... what he changed, though I dont believe this was the intent, was things that would make him look like a good person, or at least relatable?
There's the poor jokes, the fat jokes, the hygiene, it's all to make him seem like he hasn't changed while still waving the "I'm better now" flag when it comes to his content. Yes the editing is better, yes the content itself Is more captivating than before, but you're still a creep under there and its shown through actions. Anyone else a little unsettled with some of his jokes and behavior with Tana when she was still young? What about Saxy lexy on his own channel? He also seemed to get a little weird, underlying obsessive with Jojo siwa.
Now for when the mask slipped for me, and most people that likes Shane. The Taty controversy. How can we support a man that was happy to ruin the career of a teenager, a teen that looked up to him, and was making a big name for themselves. Isnt that what you have been building for so long Shane? You wined about never having sponsors other than Best Fiends, and never getting reasonable revenue from your merch. So now you're going to ruin someone else's career, ruin all they built, for what? It was the instagram live stream that truly brought out Shane's venom. He called her manipulative, knowing with every controversy he had to deal with he manipulated what everyone thought. He shoved in that he was molested when she mentioned herself. He stopped himself from calling her names because, "I dont want to say mean things about people." Really Shane? Where is your slice of humble pie than.
Shane said he was willing to lose all of this in his apology video, and for someone that's in a career ending contraversy every other year, maybe he should. He got his money, he got his house, now he should just leave. What does he have to bring this generation anymore? Because the only entertaining thing about this is seeing people have to take accountability for their actions. He did nothing to show the mistakes he made so he and his viewers can learn from it. Instead, he sat in front of a camera and went through the same routine. "I'm doing this because I saw Jenna's video," ya, the one that is getting good feedback right? Do you know why, because she not only brought up the receipts on herself, and showed her audience her wrong doing, but she hasn't done anything like that for years since than.
Shane, I was a huge fan for a huge chunk of my childhood. It hurt to see you blow up and bully people after years of your fake heartwarming messages. I hope you dont try to come back again because quite frankly I don't think you deserve to... I of course don't wish the worse, but just not on YouTube.
I'm sorry for this long rant, but I've been holding onto all this for a bit and saw that everyone else was letting theirs out so I wanted to do the same. Sorry for my horrid grammar.
submitted by DadalieRanee to ShaneDawson [link] [comments]


2020.08.20 07:07 PoolsOfJizz Hide camera porn video

Hi guys,
I've been meaning for a while to make this post. This post isn't really meant to add anything of value to whats already out there on the internet in regards to opinions/criticisms of TLOU2 - this is more kind of like a rambling of my inner thought processes, kind of like a journal entry, just on the internet, because it feels good to have other people read what you feel, its kind of therapeutic, I guess.
First lemme give a bit of backstory as to what kind of a fan I am. I would consider myself a pretty hardcore fan of the last of us (part 1) - I played it and beat it probably 4 times, and I think it is absolutely one of the best video games ever made. I think the story is essentially perfect (or as good as story telling can reasonably get), and the gameplay is fantastic, characters, etc. So I would say that Im a huge fan of the first game, so obviously I couldn't wait to get my hands on the second, and even bought a fucking playstation 4 to play it (ill be selling it soon).
As for the spoilers - I would say that I protected myself from about 90% of the spoilers online, even though it was EXTREMELY hard to. The first thing I wanted to do when I heard of the leak was just dive into everything right then and there, but I composed myself as best I could, and managed to hold off on reading any spoilers for the entire time. So I really wasnt spoiled at all. The only spoilers I saw, were some images online with Joel and a golf club. I thought to myself... hmm. Does Joel die? from a golf club? Then, I thought that maybe Ellie killed Joel, with a golf club! Because of Ellie finding out about Joels lie! I thought she might have killed him after finding out, because she was so pissed at him, and maybe that you were even the one controlling her, while she was killing him. Thats what I actually thought, and thats why I thought so many fans were so upset. I thought that was it.
Ok - I'm gonna divide the next parts up into widely-debated statements that I either do or do not believe to be true about this game. You'll see what I mean... Ok, let's get into it:
I do believe that this game is a masterpiece in all areas of the game, except for one small (huge?) area: the storytelling. Man, this game was not the game that so many people were expecting. This game was not the game that so many NEEDED, during the crisis that we are experiencing right now. Obviously naughty dog couldn't have predicted this pandemic, but it just sucks to get such a bleak, depressing story while we are going through such a bleak, depressing time. Of course the first game was also bleak and depressing - but it was outshined by moments of incredible beauty so many times that reminded us that even though the world may be going to shit, we still have the people around us who care about us. The second game offered absolutely fucking none of that whatsoever anywhere to be seen. I feel like this game can be summed up by the phrase "misery porn" - but its not just any old misery porn, no - its the best god damn misery porn on the planet. And youd bet your ass your gonna wanna kill yourself by the end of it. 10/10 misery porn. Seriously though, the fact that this story lacks any kind of optimism at all makes me never want to play it again. The first game made me want to play it a million times over. How do you judge a game? By how strongly it affects your emotions, or how bad you wanna play it again? If its the former, its a masterpiece. If its the latter, it sucks. However I wonder whether or not this game would have affected my emotions so strongly if it had not been for the first game in the first place - part of the reason this game affected my emotions so much is because I felt so much attachment to the characters because of the first game. In this regard, it feels cheap and manipulative - trying to have as big of an impact on my emotions as possible by torturing and murdering one of the most beloved characters of the first game. Of course you are going to elicit strong emotions by doing that - it doesnt mean its a mark of brilliant storytelling, or anything like that.
This game does feel like it was written by a completely different team with completely different goals (in regard to the story telling, that is). It feels like a game that was designed to make players scratch their head and say, "huh?" Not a game designed to make players feel the wide spectrum of emotions that the first game did. The only emotions I felt with this game were anger and sadness - nothing else, ever. And the sex scenes really made me scratch my head. "What the fuck does this have to do with anything?" "Oh... theyre actually gonna show it..." Do you think that by showing a sex scene with abby that that somehow makes her like, more relatable, or something? Are we supposed to say, "Oh, I cheated once, and I felt awful about it too, so now I can relate to abby more"? This scene by far seemed to be the most out of placed, most forced scene out of the entire game, for me. It went from 0 to 100 real quick, and I couldnt hide my eyeballs from my monitor in time before seeing that wildebeest moaning and groaning in the camera. Now I have PTSD from two things - the death of a legendary studio I have loved for years, and a wild boar getting slammed from behind.
I do not believe that naughty dog made this game with the sole intention to push an SJW agenda. I hate SJW bullshit as much as anyone else, but I found the SJW bullshit in this game to be very minor. In fact, I wouldnt have noticed it at all, if it wasnt for the entire internet whining about it. I feel like the only time I ever noticed an sjw thing come into the game was where you, as abby, are talking to lev, or whatever that monkey looking thing was, and it tells you that it was a trans, and ostracized from the community, or whatever. I mean come on guys, it was a fuckin gameplay dialogue for fucks sake - it wasnt even in any major cutscene. but meh, I digress
I do not believe naughty dog should be penalized for promoting a culture of crunch. I mean, this is how amazing things get created, right? Some scientist works for 100 hours a week for a year and cures Ebola. Some guy shoots 500 free throws a day for 10 years and joins the NBA. some guy lives with dolphins in isolation for 20 years and develops a way to talk to dolphins. Immense sacrifice will always be strongly positively correlated the quality of the finished product, so like, shut up you pussies lol.
I do believe this was naughty dogs most ambitious game, by far. Keyword here - ambitious - not necessarily good. I mean just the fact that so many people hate this game is evident that it was ambitious, right? more ambition = more risk, and they sure as shit risked damn near everything with this game. I probably wont be buying the last of us 3, as much as that sucks to say. But I do respect naughty dog for taking some of the biggest risks I have ever seen in any videogame ever. Did they pay off? I dont know.
Closing remarks
I wanna devote this section to bringing up a few related things I haven't talked about yet. Just random things. One thing is that one youtuber (forgot his channel) said in his review of the game something that really stuck with me, and it is something that after thinking about, I agree with - he said that anytime that a movie or a game makes you wonder why something happens, and forces you to rationalize it, that is a result of bad storywriting. Now that I think of it, all great media pieces that ive seen all do not do that - they dont make you rationalize (or "think about the reasons") why something happened. They DO make you think about the nuances of something (for example, one show that comes to mind which is FILLED with nuance for all characters and the storyline, is breaking bad) - but the REASON is crystal clear. A lot of the time, while I was playing TLOU2, I would find myself doing this - I would find myself confused as to why something in the story happened, and then, I would attempt to rationalize it using "clues" about the other characters/rest of the story - I do think that this is a result of poor storywriting, because it is not the viewers job to try and "de-code" why things happen - it is the job of the story teller to make a story that is narratively coherent, even if it may be, at times, nuanced. I mean, I dont have to talk about the most obvious elephant in the room - right? When ellie is strangling abby, why the fuck doesnt she kill her? For her PTSD? For Tommy? For Joel? And what about all the other hundreds of people shes murdered to get to her? I guess their deaths are ok now, because Ellies had an epiphany, right? It's like, I just get this feeling that at the very core of naughty dogs story telling, is this kind of need to be like, "edgy", or something - to do something differently just because they can - it doesn't work, it never will, and its immature and pretentious. Fuck off with your moral superiority. At least give us the CHOICE to kill or spare abby. If they would have just given us the choice, I feel like, the ending would have been much, much better.
I also want to touch on something here that I find kind of funny. in many of these youtube videos where people review the game, the comments contain people talking about "better" ways that they would have written the story. The fact that the internet is filled with these "alternative, fan-made theories" is just so fucking evident of the fact that the story could have been so much better. It really should have gone through more people looking at it and reviewing it before they settled on it. for example, one alternative story I read was, you play as abby for the first half of the game, doing all sorts of shit, fucking up infected etc, but not knowing exactly what your motives are, and then, you meet up with Ellie, and ellie saves your life, or whatever. you form a kind of bond with ellie playing as abbie, basically. and then, you play as ellie, for another long part of the game, still with abby by your side. THEN, towards the end, in some crazy fashion, you, as ellie, learn what abby is trying to do, and joel is there, with the both of you, and you as ellie have to defuse the situation somehow, either by killing abby, which would suck ass because you just bonded with abby for so much of the game the way you bonded with joel in the first, or let joel die, which im sure no one would have chosen. anyway you get the point. I thought this kind of story was brilliant, and would have allowed the characters to relate to abby wayyyyy more (because the way they handled it makes it seem completely and utterly forced, to the point of being comical). Another theory I had (I actually said out loud "ohhh I think I know whats gonna happen" while I was playing the game because I felt so strongly that this would happen, and I feel like it would have made for a wayyyyy better ending than what we got) was this - in the last part of the game, where you, as ellie, are going after abby a second time, I thought that, you were going to get caught by that gang, tortured, and then, PUT INTO THE SAME CELL AS ABBY. Then you would have to WORK TOGETHER WITH ABBY to get the both of yourself out of the fucked up situation, and together with her, you kill all of those mother fucking cocksockers and get the fuck out of there. Then, when you finally get out and away from them, you both look at eachother, and pause - and the player is thinking - are they going to kill eachother now? - but, they dont, they understand why they went through what they went through, and they know that they can never be friends, but they at least UNDERSTAND eachother, and why they did what they did. They give eachother one last solemn nod, and then part ways, forever. I mean come on man, how the fuck did they not make that the ending??? That shit gave me goosebumps just typing it.
Anyway... I guess the way that I would feel about TLOU2, after a month or so of sitting with my emotions after beating it, is this - I feel about the last of us part 2 the way that ellie feels about her life at the end of the game. Ellie feels totally broken, depressed, hopeless, lost, etc, BUT, and you can see this in her eye, she ACCEPTS IT. she ACCEPTS that she is broken, hopeless, etc, and shes ok with it. That is exactly how I feel about this game. I feel that this game is broken, hopeless, depressing, and pointless, but, I accept it. I accept that whatever died at naughty dog between the first game and this one is dead, forever, and is never coming back. I accept it.
submitted by PoolsOfJizz to TheLastOfUs2 [link] [comments]


2020.08.19 10:32 tiredmochi Hide camera porn video

obvious TW (self harm, ED, grooming) very long
i made this throwaway because i dont know what else to do. i turned 18 about a week ago and i guess that was probably the catalyst for all of this. ill start from the beginning
i was 4, and i remember it was memorial day. i wanted to ride a pony so my dad paid the guy and i got on the horse. i dont know if it's because i was so young or because i blocked it out but i think the man walking the horse touched my genitalia. ive been terrified of riding a horse since.
i discovered porn when i was 10, curious and having no adult supervision for navigating the internet, i became hypersexual. i remember going to bathroom during class to masturbate in the stalls (alone, but still). i used to take baths with my little brother and i remember we would poke at each other's privates if we stood up for some reason because it "felt funny." however it got weird when i knew what sex was and he didn't. i asked him to touch my nipples once. i feel grossed out and ashamed when i remember it.
it's worth mentioning i am a transgender man, and as a kid, i had a huge disconnect with my body that led me to hate it and myself. my mom physically and emotionally abused me most of my childhood (id say 6-15) and my dad turned out to be a drug user and pedophile. more on that later. because of everything, including undiagnosed mental illness, i was a very angry kid seeking ANY sort of approval and validation.
i never thought i had any repressed memories. but i realize now that there are huge chunks i can't account for and that isn't normal. my parents separated when i was about 5 due to my dad's drug use, where i remember waking up in an unfamiliar housr, but my dad was granted monthly visitation with supervision. my mom would later disclose she had to take me and my little brother (and older half sisters) away from my father because he threatened to kidnap me and my brother.
during the monthly weekend visitations i didn't actually spend much time with my dad. he was usually drinking, napping, or watching NASCAR. he almost always had a roommate that moved into my sister's old room. my mom told me to stay away from his roommates but i never knew why. i remember one had a bunny and he said i should come to his room and see. i remember the bunny but nothing else. my dad used to also say strange things sometimes, that made me uncomfortable and confused. he'd ask me if anyone but my mother or a doctor had touched my privates. i guess this could be seen as looking out for me but it always felt strange. my mom later told me he used to make inappropriate comments about my half sisters (his step daughters) about their boobs or tight jeans. one of my sisters once found he had hidden little cameras around the house. there was one in the bathroom and my sisters' shared bedroom. my mom also once found violent porn on his laptop, including possible CP (young looking girls of questionable age). i didn't have any idea what a horrible person my father was until i was around 16 because my mom only shared bits and pieces with me, and i didn't even get into the marital abuse, racism, homophobia, and transphobia.
all this said, you'd think my mom would've monitored my internet usage as a kid. but i dont blame her. in the span of three years, she loses her mother, she goes through a nasty divorce with my father, and then she loses her father. she didn't even have a job for a year or two when she took me away from my dad because he had made her stop working when my brother was born, so we had to live sparingly off of inheritance.
my mom's neglect and abuse gave me all sorts of issues, along with me struggling with my self hate and internalized homophobia and transphobia as a result of a Christian upbringing. this eventually led to me having a throwaway instagram account when i was 12 solely with the intention of exchanging nudes with people. around the same time, i had a monster training app with a global chat where i met someone claiming to be 15 (in retrospect he was probably a pedo) and it's hazy, but we got to the point of role playing sex in a private chat. i lost my login once when i got bounced out and couldn't remember my password, and honestly, im glad. i dont know what that guy would've had me do, because i trusted him to a scary amount for someone who didn't even know what he looked like.
back to the instagram account. this is where things are foggiest, but ill try my best to recount what i can. one day, i get a message from a guy. we'll call him Jeff (not his real name, because i can't actually remember it). the kicker? i messaged him first. i think i either commented on a post or sent him a dm. i remember seeing one of those black background posts with the eggplant and peach emoji like "comment/like for nudes" or something. Jeff tells me he thinks im sexy. now, on this account, i did not post my face. i only showed topless pictures, but it was very clear i was underage given the underdeveloped body proportions. Jeff asks for my age, and im truthful. i tell him i am 12. he says i am very beautiful for a 12 year old. i dont know how, but Jeff convinces me after a few days to give him my phone number. i do. by then, he is texting me daily. i send him nudes almost every day. he listens to me and when i tell him i hate my mom because she hits me, he tells me i am right. i feel heard. and he tells me i am beautiful. tells me im so mature for my age. yet i feel gross. eventually, Jeff gets to see my face when i send him a video of me purposefully dropping my shower towel. he responds with a video of him jacking off. i dry heave for 15 or so minutes before i respond. i never see Jeff's face. i never know his true age. he asks me once the oldest person id ever date. i say around 10-15. he says that makes him sad because he is older than that. i feel bad and say for him i would make an exception.
i dont remember much. i feel sick to my stomach when i think about it. when i got my new phone two years ago, i had a breakdown because his contact was in there, restored from my old apple id. i was 13 when i cut off contact with Jeff. he had started being mean to me after i told him i had a crush on a boy at school. i remember i felt so relieved yet so terrified when i finally blocked Jeff's number. and i felt bad too. i did it for a childish reason; he said no 13 year old boy could pleasure my body like he could or appreciate my beauty, but i didn't care because i loved this boy. even though it was a silly reason, im so glad i did it. i still can't shake the feeling it was my fault.
but this isn't the end. that boy i mentioned? he ended up becoming my first boyfriend. we'll call him Will. his parents didn't like me so we only went on one date. it was to a Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 showing at my school for some fundraiser. we got a table in the very back all by ourselves. this is hazy for me too. Will asks me to touch him. that being with me makes him horny and as his girlfriend i should do something. i say no three times in workaround ways like "i just wanna watch the movie" but eventually he grabs my hand and shoves it down his pants.
i guess he felt me tense because i distinctly remember him saying "don't worry, these are my PE shorts". Will uses my hand to jack himself off. i dont know if he finished or not. i just know im shaking uncontrollably when i do get my hand back. when my friends asked how my date went i didn't want to believe he would do that to me, so i tell my friends i did it willingly. they laugh at me and call me a slut and a whore. i never did tell them the truth. i break up with Will and go out with a girl for a while before i start wrestling a bit with my sexuality and gender identity. a year of weird hate and sexual tense between me and Will goes by. we end up getting back together, this time him being somewhat aware im not a girl (but not sure WHAT i am) and he turns out to be bisexual.
i think Will regretted forcing me to jack him off, because he asked for my consent for lots when we went out the second time. we never talked about that movie night. i turn out to be one of the only virgins at school and Will finds this hot, but i refuse to have sex. i didn't know why at the time, but i was terrified. im still not sure why it scared me so bad. eventually, Will cheats on me by having sex with a neighbor because i won't. he phrases it in a way that makes me feel like the bad guy for not having sex with him (said stuff like "i have to tell you something but you'll get mad at me :(") i think Will struggled with hypersexuality too, because he confides in me that he was raped as a child. i couldn't bring myself to tell him my experiences. we stayed together for another month or two (with him probably still cheating without my knowledge) before our school shut down and he dumps me. i had known him since we were 11 and i want to believe he did love me, but i can't be sure. he'd stuck with me through my years struggling with self harm and anorexia, and even though my first suicide attempt (which he got mad at me but that's besides the point).
it's two years later when i transfer to a new school my junior year and im comfortable in my identity as a trans man. i meet a guy who we'll call Alex. he's instantly flirtatious with me, even going as far as to bite my ear no less. i still crave the validation from other people so i give him my number. he asks if it's okay to send me a dick pic. i flash to Jeff and decline, saying i want to get to know him better. literally the next day i text Alex that im sad and he says he knows something that will cheer me up. i expect a meme and what do i get? a dick pic. i felt sick to my stomach. i ignore Alex as much as i can, but he stalks me around the school and figures out my schedule. he corners me in remote places such as the school cafe booths (like a booth at a restaurant) and tells me he knows how badly i want to fuck him (disclaimer: i did not). Alex continues to follow me around and say obscene things, including one time he said he wanted to gouge out my eyes because he found them so beautiful. it's when he touches me that i flip. he grabs my thigh but all i can do is sit completely frozen. when he finally goes away, i feel like throwing up. i didn't have many friends at my new school but i joined theater and one of them went with me to student support to report him to a teacher i trusted. i was shaking the entire time but i felt absolutely stupid because he didn't actually hurt me.
with all of that, ive used being underage as an excuse for not wanting sex. granted i get horny and i do jack off (being on testosterone and all, though my antidepressants make it difficult) and i can think about having sex in theory but if i think about it in the actuality, it still scares me. i dont know why, because i was never raped. now that im 18 i have nothing to hide behind, and ive been dwelling on all of this trying to remember the missing chunks of my childhood.
ive always had a tendency to bottle things up and i feel like ive let a monster loose in my head and i can't lock it back up. for days now ive felt like there's this gaping hole in the center of my chest that needs to be filled, so bad i want to stab it. im jumpy and anxious and im always on the verge of a panic attack feeling as if i can't breathe. i can barely sleep now. i thought trying to work through it all would help me come to terms with it but this is the worst ive ever felt about it. and there was even a time i told my best friend about Jeff and being groomed and she told me to go to the police because i have his phone numbers (likely burners, honestly) and that i should do something about it because the statute of limitations will be up in a few years. i haven't done anything because i dont have a shred of proof it ever even happened at all, and i honestly wish i could forget it ever happened.
i feel worse than ever. i even downloaded grindr in an attempt to try being hypersexual again to feel better thinking some sort of exposure therapy might help but i think i just made matters worse. i feel like everything that's happened to me is my fault. i feel as though there's repressed memories that hold the key, but i could be wrong and if i am, why do i feel like this? i came here because i have no one in my life who could understand. i have very few friends and my family doesn't know any of this ever happened in the first place. i dont know how to heal. i dont want to relapse and cut myself again (im 3 years clean) but it's my oldest coping mechanism for when ive felt this bad. i haven't relapsed yet but im worried i might because i used it for when i felt like this. and i used to drink but im sober. im scared to talk to a therapist because what if im told all that happened really is my fault? that im to blame for my own trauma? i don't know what id do. any advice is greatly appreciated.
TLDR: turning 18 has forced me to evaluate my fear of sex and intimacy due to former abuse and trauma and i haven't been able to cope or figure out how to face how im feeling about it all
submitted by tiredmochi to adultsurvivors [link] [comments]


2020.08.18 02:22 welcometosouthapp Video camera porn hide

Monday, August 17th, 2020
Winston Beavers was having a very bad day.
It all began at 5 AM when his phone alarm vibrated. He rolled over on his belly and silenced it before it could wake Tai. It was the first day of class, but Winston wasn’t rising early to drink coffee and read the student newspaper. Instead, he grabbed his trusty silk tie and used it to hang his tablet from the sprinkler head. He slipped his headphones on, booted up some porn, and got straight down to business with both hands.
Now his contraption was holding on by faith and faith alone. But Winston paid no mind. He listened to Irish redheads moaning in his ear while he arched his back and curled his toes. And with each passing second, the weight of the tablet began to wear on the old, rusty sprinkler head.
So, when Winston exploded, so did that sprinkler head.
“Fuck!” Winston yelled, choking on a mouthful of rusty water. He tumbled off the top bunk, landing square on his ass. He scrambled to his feet, grabbed a binder from his desk, and rushed out the room - slipping on the puddle on his way out. Tai was already in the hallway, naked and wrapped in a wet blanket.
“What the hell, asshole?!” Tai blurted out, shivering with his laptop and backpack in each hand. “I told you not to jerk off like that!”
“Save your breath, partner,” Winston reassured him. “This here binder is the only important thing in that goddamn room.”
As water seeped into the hallway, Winston reckoned his luck had finally run out. Earlier this week, the Asheville PD had informed him that his prized Single Action Army was nowhere to be found in evidence. But he still had his precious binder, with the letters BDE inscribed on the spine. And when the water was finally shut off, Winston stuffed the binder back in his desk and made Tai pinky swear to keep it a secret.
***
A few hours later, Tai sat on the sofa in a local Asheville coffee shop with a drink and a bible in front of him.
As your wing-woman, I shall provide some friendly reminders!” Gigi cheerfully told Tai over the phone. “Make sure you’re facing the door so you can see when he comes in. Oh, and remember the order of operations: turn a page, sip your drink, make eye contact. Turn, sip, eyes!
“Uh, are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Tai whispered, as sleepy, hungover students filed in.
“I’m setting you up on an impromptu date on a Monday morning, am I not?”
“And have you run this strategy by amateur wingman extraordinaire Winston Beavers?”
Gigi paused. “Winston and I are...no longer on speaking terms. Sorry! I do not consent to any conversation about the aforementioned obnoxious brute whatsoever. Good luck!”
Gigi hung up. So Tai, who had never touched a bible, flipped to Ephesians like Gigi had coached him before. In fact, she’d planned out everything down to the last detail: the NIV version of the bible, the iced caramel macchiato, and the red and white checkerboard Vans he wore.
But Tai’s mind wandered to a more interesting book that he also had not yet read. He wanted to know what the hell was in Winston’s binder.
Suddenly, Jacky California walked into the cafe. Showtime. His 7:30 coffee break was expected. (Gigi found Jacky’s schedule on Facebook, and a quick visit to this cafe before 8 AM Intermediate Spanish just made sense.) Check. Turn, sip, eyes. Jacky waited in line, wearing a slim-fit red Abercrombie polo, bleached holy jeans, and his prized red and white checkerboard Vans. And his shoe decision, yet again, was also expected. (Gigi discovered that Jacky had only two classes on Monday, influencing his choice in that comfy pair of shoes that he wore in his profile pic). Check. Turn, sip, eyes. When Jacky stepped up to the counter, he ordered an iced caramel macchiato. And, once again, Gigi predicted this move. (Whatever the weather, Jacky’s SoCal roots virtually guaranteed an icy, watered-down coffee approach. Not to mention, nobody drinks hot coffee after sitting in the tanning bed for 30 minutes. Which, according to Gigi’s sleuthing, Jacky partook in every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.) Check. Turn, sip, eyes. Finally, while waiting for his order, Jacky pulled out his NIV study bible and flipped to the Book of Acts. (This time, Gigi was only partially off-base. His Facebook modeling photos were actually captioned with Ephesians bible verses. Nothing a quick fix couldn’t remedy). So Tai flipped straight to Acts, took a long sip of his macchiato, and made direct eye contact with Jacky as he walked over.
“Bro, this is freakin’ gnarly!” Jacky said in disbelief, pointing out their matching shoes, bible, and drink. “This is some righteous Revelation-level prophecy if I’ve ever seen it. Hey, my name’s Jacky. Is this seat ocupado?”
***
“Oh no!” Claire exclaimed, stroking Winston's fuzzy beard. “I’m, like, totally sorry about my stud’s mishap this morning!”
“Thank ya, peach pie,” Winston said, shaking his head. “I reckon they’ll move my ass to the broom closet and hang me out to dry.”
Claire and Winston were sitting in the Rec Center courtyard in athletic gear, along with several other hungover students. This was the Outdoors Adventures Seminar, AKA “Outside 101.” For many, it was a breezy way to snag the required Health and Fitness credit hour. And that's exactly why Gigi and Frank were also in this class. They sat on the opposite side of the courtyard, quietly gossipping and shooting the occasional glance their way.
“Your friends over there are, like, totally ignoring us!” Claire piped up, tugging Winston’s sleeve. “That’s, like, so rude.”
“Don’t trouble yourself, puddin’ muffin. They just ain’t ready for us yet.”
“And, like, oh my God! Ryan flat-out told me those are, like, the two people who broke into the frat house and blew up his daddy’s ashes! They are, like, total thugs. Ew!”
“Ah, my sister explained to me that it was a big misunderstanding, bundt cake,” Winston replied, feigning interest.
“Well, you should totally talk some sense to that Asian friend of yours, or else this class is gonna be, like, hella awkward,” Claire suggested. “She has, like, a salt and vinegar chip on her shoulder! It’s, like, totally not my fault that I can pull off a sports bra while she’s wearing those baggy clothes!”
True enough, Gigi and Frank had been giving them the cold shoulder ever since the frat house raid. For Frank, this was because of Winston’s affiliation with Claire Dansby and the notorious fraternity she represented. As for Gigi, it was more simple and personal: the lap dance.
“Ahoy, ladies and germs!” greeted the rugged Australian instructor, decked out in bushman’s gear. “My name is Angus, and I want to welcome ya to Outside 101. While you shop different classes, I indeed hope you’ll choose to spend your semester with us. Today is the Gauntlet Challenge, where we’ll break off into groups and compete for a mighty fine prize!”
With that, Angus hurled an ax at a target behind the students. Bullseye. Everyone stood up to clap and cheer. “Now, everybody come up front and grab yourselves a fine ole’ nametag so we know who you are!”
Winston sprung up and headed for the front of the line. Gigi stood with her back to him, her long black hair draping over her Under Armor tank top. He cleared his throat. “Howdy. Looks like we’re gonna be getting a workout in today. So hey, can I have a word with ya in private?”
She spun around, showing him a forced smile. “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t consent to this conversation.”
With that, she grabbed a nametag and wrote “Gigi.” Winston cocked his head. “So, I seem to recall Sarah telling me that you’ve got a South Korean name that only your father calls you.”
“Ah, but what’s in a name anywho?” pondered Frank, stepping forward. “Sir Winston, I wish to extend a sincere congratulations to your acceptance into the Beta Delta Epsilon Sausage Club. And to that brazen bull of a woman under your thumb. Alas, a braver man than me are you!”
Gigi narrowed her eyes at Winston. “You don’t know my real name?” she stated matter-of-factly. “Do you even know me at all?”
Frank and Gigi walked back to their seat. The hair stood up on the back of Winston’s neck. But before he could retort, two late students entered the courtyard.
“Hey, what’s up dudes and dudettes?” Jacky greeted casually. “Sorry we’re late. We couldn’t find the-"
“Hellooo everyone!” Tai greeted the class flamboyantly. “Jacky-boy, I hope you’re ready for a totally fabulous time! Ready to sweat? Oh, will you look at the sports bra on that blonde gal over here! Looks like Victoria can’t keep her secret for long. Am I right, Tai? Hey, boo-boo! Yes, you in the sports bra. You are killing it!”
Claire giggled, thanking Tai. But he and Jacky wound up sitting next to Gigi and Frank instead, introducing each other. Winston watched from afar, shaking his head. So this is how my roommate acts when he’s no longer single, he thought. Then, when no one was watching, Winston reached into his pocket and pulled out a 20-dollar bill.
“Oi, Steve Irwin,” Winston whispered to Angus, slipping him the money. “I need ya to put me and my friends together in a group.”
Winston pointed out his four friends, scribbled “BAMF” on a nametag, and walked confidently back to his seat. Then, when Gigi was watching, he gave Claire a sloppy, wet kiss.
***
“First elimination challenge is ax throwing!” Angus announced, behind the wheel of a Volkswagen VW bus. “The world’s second-oldest profession.”
Per request, Angus had formed a group out of Winston, Claire, Frank, Gigi, Tai, and Jacky. Now, he was driving them to a deserted field at the base of Mount Pisgah in the Asheville wilderness. Once they arrived, he set up a huge wooden target, then tossed Winston an ax.
“Now you look like a bloke who’s done this before!” Angus remarked.
“Hell, my daddy had to put a lock on the shed,” Winston bragged.
“Winston is, like, totally a wild man when it comes to the outdoors!” Claire chimed in. “I’m, like, super-stoked for him to totally man-handle me in the bedroom.”
The other four cringed at each other. Then, Winston reared back and hurled the ax with two hands, hitting a large ring.
“Three points!” Angus called out. “Claire, think you can conquer this beast?”
Claire stepped forward and grabbed an ax. As a former high school cheerleader, she hid some muscles under her small frame. But what surprised everybody was how she tossed hers one-handed. She hit an inner ring: a five-pointer.
“This, like, ain’t my first rodeo, cowboy!” Claire teased. She brazenly grabbed another ax and under-handed it to Gigi. She yelped, but Frank stepped in and caught it.
“My stars!” he said to Claire. “A woman so supple, yet so brazen around the edges. A fine mistress you doth make!”
Winston walked over to Gigi and gave her a puzzled look. “In the words of Richard III,” he began. “It looks Frank would trade his kingdom for a whore.”
“Um...since when have you started dabbling in Old English plays?” Gigi asked, a bit uneasy.
“Looks like you don’t know me much at all yourself.”
Gigi blushed, either enraged or embarrassed. She left him to stand next to her boyfriend. Then, Frank performed a one-handed throw, landing an inner ring.
“Five points for Shakespeare!” Angus cheered. “Let’s see if Miss Hathaway can cut the mustard.”
Before Frank handed Gigi the ax, she was already tense. He helped her hold it with two hands in a beginner’s stance. “But soft!” he said, as Gigi took aim. “Plant it straight in the heart! Just like I shall soon plant my seed in your womb.”
Flustered and distracted, she heaved the ax for an outer ring.
“Oi, only one point,” Angus declared. “Better hope our last two competitors think off target!”
Jacky grabbed an ax and faced Gigi. “Bro, your boyfriend’s a perv. And so is that chick.”
Jacky pointed straight at Claire. She giggled obnoxiously, flicking her long blonde hair. Jacky rolled his eyes. “God, please bring this lost sheep home,” he quietly prayed. He flung it from over the shoulder, missing the target completely.
“Ah, I can tell you’re fancy a boomerang by the way you throw that bugger!” Angus chuckled. “Our first elimination. Last one, come on down!”
Before Tai could grab his ax, Gigi pulled him aside. “Um, as your fellow wing-woman,” she started, “I suggest you launch the caveman hunting apparatus into the margins for the express purpose of aborting and creating a more intimate scenario with your beloved wave rider.”
Now Tai had grown a little closer with Gigi ever since she matched him up with Jacky. But all he could muster was a blank stare. Gigi leaned in closer. “Lose on purpose so you can be alone with him!” she hissed.
“Oh, got it,” Tai whispered back. “Hey, Gigi? Do ya think I can borrow your room for a bit? There’s no way Jacky can find out I live in a flooded swamp.”
Suddenly, Jacky’s ax boomerang came twirling back around, heading straight for Tai. He jumped to the side with a shriek, watching the ax fly into a tree. “Righteous!” Jacky cheered, running back to fetch it. So with that in mind, Tai took aim and tossed his ax boomerang-style. As intended, it went flying far and wide past the target.
“And Tai and Jacky have been eliminated!” Angus declared. “That means the rest of ya advance to our next challenge. And an impressive performance from the blonde bombshell and Italian stallion, I might add.”
Claire walked up to Frank and slapped his ass. “Looks like we pervs, like, totally got it going on!”
Winston and Gigi stared at each other in shock. But before they knew it, Tai’s ax boomerang came soaring back, nailing the side of Angus’ Volkswagen.
***
“FIX THE FUCKING AC,” growled Evelyn the RA in a low, demonic voice. “I WILL BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO THE GROUND.”
In Sarah and Gigi’s room, Tai and Jacky had taken shelter from this emo demon, who was now stomping up and down the hallway. Sure enough, the AC was broken again. And after Tai had escorted Jacky up seven flights of stairs to “his” room, they’d found it virtually impossible to stop sweating.
“So let’s dive into Genesis 5 where we left off,” Jacky suggested, as they sat together on the futon. “It’s a little gnarly since it’s all genealogy. We’ll have to quiz each other when we’re done so we make sure we got it down pat!”
Jacky cracked open the bible, just as Evelyn screamed from the hallway. They rushed to the door and peeked out. Evelyn had let down her jet-black hair and had smeared mascara on her, sweating pale face. She locked eyes with the two young men. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?” the demon within her tremored.
They quickly shut the door and got back to their bible study. “Well...anyway, this is the written account of Adam’s family line,” Jacky read. “Basically, this is gonna be a righteous heck-ton of funky names to remember. My youth pastor showed me an easy way to memorize them, where-”
Death metal blared in the hallway. Over the heavy muted guitar and the rapid-fire double bass, Evelyn released a primal roar.
“So yeah, an easy way to memorize the names is word association!” the sweating Jacky yelled over the screeching guitar solo. “For example, take Adam and Seth, who-”
“EVERYBODY BREAK SHIT,” Evelyn screamed, as the deafening breakdown began. Tai rushed to the door and peeked out again. This time, she was breaking off a long fluorescent light tube from the ceiling. Several of her female hallmates observed like visitors at a zoo. Evelyn reared back and smashed the wall, shattering the light into pieces.
“All right, bro,” Jacky finally sighed, shutting the bible and standing up. “Look, let’s just go to your actual room.”
“W-what?” Tai stuttered, closing the door.
“Come on brochacho,” Jacky said, slicking back his long blonde hair. “You think I didn’t catch on? There are the female girls in the hallway with the female devil incarnate. Not to mention the…dreadful taste in bedroom decor in whoever’s room this is. Come on, man. I wanna see the real you.”
They stared into each other's' cool grey eyes. Finally, Tai nodded and reached out to shake on it. Instead, Jacky held his hand and interlocked his fingers. They sneaked out into the hallway, and Jacky led the way to Tai’s room.
“H-how do you know where we’re going?” Tai asked.
“I’m your mailman,” Jacky answered, giving his hand a squeeze. “I know a lot more about you than you think. Heck, don’t even get me started on your roommate’s male enhancement subscription.”
As they descended the stairs, a herd of female students tried to restrain the spawn of Satan in the hall.
***
“Next up is the zip-line races!” Angus announced.
He drove the four competitors deep into the Pisgah National Forest with the ax still lodged in the van. He slowed to a stop in a green, tranquil meadow where sunlight peeked through the treetops. There, two huge zip-lines ran from the tops of starting platforms, all the way to a platform on the far side of the clearing.
Angus passed out a few safety harnesses, and everyone suited up. “Mine’s, like, a little too big!” Claire whined. “Gigi, you should totally trade with me since you have a tad more cushion for the pushin’! Hey, at least your boobs are smaller than mine! That, like, must be so convenient.”
Gigi ignored her, hooking herself to the lane behind Winston. Claire attached herself to the lane behind Frank. And Angus began the long walk toward the finish line platform. Now out of earshot, both groups began climbing the long rope ladders up to their platforms. Winston purposefully took his time. Halfway up the ladder, Winston stopped and looked down at Gigi.
“Hey, I know I’m being stubborn,” Winston said. “But I really wanna talk to you, if you’ll have me. Just give me a chance to explain-"
“She’s a total bitch!” Gigi hissed, surprising even herself. “If you’re dating her, we’re no longer friends.”
Frustrated and torn, Winston sighed. “Right. I reckon actions speak louder than words anyway.” He reached into his shorts pocket and pulled out a mini can of WD-40. Then, he proceeded to spray the shit out of both of their zip-line hooks.
“W-what the hell is wrong with you?” Gigi exclaimed, choking on the fumes.
“WD-40 is God’s lubricant,” Winston explained. “Now we’ll have a little speed boost when we race ‘em. Sorry, buddy, but I need us both to win so we have some alone time to sort things out.”
“You’re being absolutely ridiculous!” Gigi said, flabbergasted.
“I realize that. So I reckon I’ll make you an offer. When it’s me versus you at the finals, I’ll let you win so you get the Lazy Basil gift card. Deal?”
Suddenly, Gigi’s big, brown eyes shot open and her countenance sang a different tune. Lazy Basil was the finest Italian restaurant in all of Asheville - maybe all of North Carolina. And Frank would not be cooking her an Italian dinner until this Friday. After tasting a little bit of chocolate every day to prepare her body for cheese, she could not wait a day longer.
“Pray tell!” Frank suddenly yelled, looking down from his platform at the stragglers. “Art thou stuck on the ladder, Sir Winston? Mayhaps we require usage of a construction crane to haul up your portly frame.”
Winston grunted, then spat on the ground. “So what was that you were saying about my girlfriend being a bitch?” Winston asked Gigi.
Reaching the top of the ladder, Winston and Gigi stepped onto the platform. A perfect view of the bright green hemlock trees of the Pisgah National Forest. From the finish line platform, Angus pumped his fist. “Let’s get these wagon wheels a’rollin’!” his voice echoed across the forest. “Fellas up first!”
Winston made the mistake of looking down at the endless ocean of treetops. Stomach lurching, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, hands trembling, he moved his greased-up zip-line hook to the starting position.
Gigi tapped his shoulder. “Are you...afraid of heights?” she asked, more like a mother than a caring friend.
A sudden breeze caused their platform to sway ever-so-slightly. Winston hunched over and vomited his morning screwdriver into a nest of endangered birds. He wiped his mouth and looked up at Frank’s shit-eating grin. Winston simultaneously flicked him off while giving Angus a thumbs up.
“Ah, we’ve got ourselves a fighter!” Angus called out. “Ready. Set. Go!”
Winston and Frank kicked off their platforms, soaring over the forest. Sure enough, his WD-40 hack gave him the extra acceleration he needed. He held a clear lead over Frank as Angus’ platform grew closer and closer. Not even Frank’s Italian expletives could stop him.
“Wiiinston wins!” Angus cheered, as Winston whizzed up to the platform. And only a split-second later, Frank came in hot, landing gracefully.
“I underestimated thy aerodynamic stature!” Frank admitted. “Mayhaps I too require an uptick in fine American cuisine, say steak and potatoes?”
Back at the starting line, Gigi grabbed her hook and slid it into a starting position. She looked up at her hands, now slick with grease.
“I’m, like, totally sorry about being so rude earlier,” Claire said, making a pouting face. “Look, if you let me win, you get to leave class early with Frank, and I can have the gift card! And not to be totally awkward, but I think you could, like, have a super-hot figure without that Italian food in your diet.”
Two minutes later.
“Gigi wins!” Angus cheered, as she came careening to the finish line. A split second later, Claire came flying by - seething.
“Like, it’s totally not fair!” Claire cried, stomping her feet. “Gigi, like, totally called me a hashtag raging thundercunt! It, like-like-like-like-like, totally distracted me from the race!” Again, more crocodile tears while Claire buried her face in Winston’s shoulder.
“Woe is me!” Frank cried out, grabbing her shoulders. “Oh, the humanity! Alas, say you did no such thing!”
“There, there,” Winston said nonchalantly, patting Claire’s head like a dog. “I’m sure it ain’t that serious.”
Angus covered his mouth. “Oi, Miss Gigi: did you in fact call Lady Claire a raging thundercunt?”
Gigi politely crossed her hands in front of her waist, her messy black hair cascading over her pale face. And then: a tell-all smile.
“Well, you know we handle potty-mouths in Australia, right?” Angus asked. “We fuckin’ celebrate ‘em! And as for sore losers? We make ‘em walk the plank!”
Angus shoved Claire and Frank off the platform. They screamed until the cable pulled taut, leaving them dangling in midair.
“Congratulations, ya raging thundercunts!” Angus said to Winston and Gigi. “Now off to the finals we go. And doncha’ worry, ya blimey losers. My teaching assistant will come get ya down and give ya a comfy ride straight back to campus!”
Winston and Gigi climbed down the ladder and followed Angus out of the woods, leaving Frank and Claire as dinner for vultures. When the two were alone, Claire kicked off her tennis shoes and stretched out, showing off her flat stomach.
“I, like, always thought I had sex in every possible position!” Claire reflected. “Well, except for the Amazon position, since my fraternity forbids it. Awwwkward! But I’ve, like, totally never had sex in midair. Should we try it, Frank?”
***
It was a manic scene in the 700 Hall of Firewater. Hesitant to get the police involved, Evelyn’s roommates were in the process of summoning a Catholic priest to perform an exorcism. But she was no longer Tai and Jacky’s concern. The muffled screams, crashes, and bangs faded in the distance as the two guys entered the 300 Hall.
“We’re actually...not supposed to be here,” Tai cautioned, placing his hand on the doorknob to his room.
“How come, brotherman?” Jacky asked.
“It’s my roommate: Winston. There’s something in there that he doesn’t want me to know about. And he made me promise to not even let any visitors in our room.”
“So did he get it in writing, with a notary standing by?” Jacky joked.
“Pinky swear,” Tai corrected.
“Far out,” Jacky marveled. “That’s some next-level serious business.” Jacky chuckled, slicking his hair back. “So let me ask this about your roommate: would he rather us be in your room, or his sister’s room?”
Tai froze. Finally, he unlocked the door. “Touché.”
The mildew hit them like a freight train. The mattresses, rug, and futon cushion were all gone. Besides that, Jacky was standing in a typical college dorm. A football schedule and Megan Fox poster on Winston’s side. Video game and anime posters on Tai’s side. A dirty microwave and a mini-fridge, probably filled with light beer and leftover Chinese takeout.
Tai sat on the metal futon frame and patted the spot next to him. “So, what if we used flashcards to memorize some of those biblical names? It’s important for me to - WHAAA-!”
Jacky was frantically searching through Winston’s drawers. “Bingo, my man!” He held up the binder and read the spine. “What’s BDE anyway? Does it stand for big...uh, big-penis energy? Sounds like your roomie has some gnarly ego issues.”
Distracting himself, Tai opened the bible in his trembling hands. “So...uh...there’s Shem...Ham...and Japeth, the three sons of-”
Jacky plopped down next to Tai and opened the binder. “Dude! Do you know what this is?”
Tai looked down at pages upon pages of driver’s licenses in card sleeves. Every race, creed, and gender under the sun. And all featured photos that could pass for any young-looking 21-year-old.
Tai and Jacky had just uncovered Beta Delta Epsilon’s secret fake ID operation. Jacky searched through a few pages, and finally pulled out an ID that could pass for Tai. He removed it from the sleeve and placed it in Tai’s shaking hand. Then, he sat on his lap and held up an ID of a tan white guy with blonde hair. “I don’t wanna talk about Shem and Ham, my dude,” Jacky declared. “I wanna talk about our new legal names: Caleb and Demitri.”
“Ah, now I have an actual black guy’s name,” Tai chuckled, forcing a smirk. Suddenly, he slipped his hand up Jacky’s shirt, feeling his rock-hard abs. “I, uh...so do you want to roleplay...Caleb?”
“Not just roleplay, my dude,” Jacky whispered into Tai’s ear, nuzzling his cheek. “I want to help other people roleplay. Dude! What if we stole these fake ID’s and sold them to every underage student on campus? Think of how freaking righteous that money would be!” Tai’s heart raced as Jacky swung his legs over Tai’s waist, straddling him. Jacky ran his lips from his collarbone to his ear.
“That’s...illegal,” Tai moaned softly. “Not to mention a little ungodly.”
“Maybe so,” Jacky said, nibbling his ear. “But I follow God, not the world. Some people don’t know the difference.
“Caleb” and “Dimitri” rolled off the futon, kissing, biting, and scratching each other until the clothes flew off. And little did they know Evelyn was scouring the 300 Hall with a chef’s knife in her hand, searching for them.
***
“The grand finale!” Angus announced. “The rock climbing wall!”
Angus led Winston and Gigi to a huge rock wall on the face of the Pisgah Mountains. This time, there was no cheat code in the world that would work in Winston’s favor. While his upper-body strength toppled that of Gigi, he was simply hauling a much larger load.
“The rumors are true!” Angus chuckled. “There is a 50-dollar Lazy Basil gift card up for grabs for the first one to reach the top.”
He strapped Winston and Gigi to the climbing cables, then took a step back. The trembling Winston glanced over at the cool, confident Gigi. “It looks like it’s just me and you, buddy,” he said. “So, do ya reckon you can tell me what I can do to make things right?”
“Go, go, go!” Angus suddenly shouted.
Gigi, quick and nimble, jumped straight up and grabbed her first hold. With ease, she began traversing the wall like an orangutan. Winston chugged along, contorting his body in awkward positions just to keep from falling.
“Look, Gigi!” Winston called out. “I hate that it’s like this between us. Man, I just wanna know what I can do. Hell, you can have my purple V-neck shirt that you accidentally stole.”
No response still. She worked swiftly and calmly as she approached the halfway point. Winston caught a lucky break, catching some easy holds as he covered a few feet. But there was no way in hell he could match Gigi’s steady pace. Plus, the higher he got, the higher the screwdriver rose in his throat.
Desperate, Winston reached around with one hand and unstrapped his vest.
“Oi, what the fuck are ya doing, mate?” Angus spat from far down below. Winston slipped out of the vest and pushed it to the side. Now, he was climbing freely. Fear coursed through his veins, but so did adrenaline. He used that stress to heave himself up much faster than before. Gigi, now past the halfway point, looked down to see Winston’s pleading eyes looking up at her.
“Gigi, I’m sorry!” Winston yelled. “Look, I...I can’t honestly tell you that I’m sorry for meeting up with Claire at the house. Because I’m not. But fuck, I’m sorry you had to walk in and see it! And...I’m plum-fuckin’ sorry I didn’t consider your feelings for me at the time. I reckon that ship has sailed. But fuck, I don’t wanna lose our friendship over it, Gigi!”
Gigi smiled at Winston for the first time that day. She shut her eyes tightly, fighting to block the tears. When she opened them again, Winston’s white knuckles curled around a tough hold.
“I’m not sure how long I can hold on, partner,” Winston groaned, smiling weakly. Slowly, piss began running down his leg, trickling a long way down to the ground below. Gigi began quickly backtracking, holding her breath.
“Winston,” Gigi consoled him calmly, now by his side. “I need you...I need you to reach out and hold me. Don’t let me go.”
He took a deep breath, then wrapped his arms around Gigi’s slim waist. His legs dangled free, supported only by her. Breathing heavily, Gigi kicked off the rock facing. Slowly, they began to descend.
“My real name is Ji-hye,” she said, as they approached solid ground.
“Ji-hye,” Winston repeated, his heart pounding as he held her in a death grip. “So, uh...why did you wanna tell me that?”
“Um...because we’re friends again!” she cheered, as they reached the bottom.
But before he could release her, Angus yanked his collar and held a hunting knife to his throat. His hair and face were drenched in Winston’s piss. “Oi, I oughta gut you like a fuckin’ fish, ya blimey bastard!”
“Wait, it’s not his fault!” Gigi interjected. “Um...a yellowjacket got caught between his shirt and vest and stung him pretty bad. He’s allergic, so he had no choice but to take it off!”
Angus cocked his head, letting her words marinate like the piss in his hair. Then, a proper belly laugh. He gave Winston a shove and put the knife away. “Yellowjackets?! Why, you Americans and bonafide pussies, that’s what ya are! Oi, you wouldn’t last a second down unda!”
Angus reached in his pocket and pulled out two 50-dollar Lazy Basil gift cards. “Fuck it, take ‘em both. After all, that was a mighty impressive showing of teamwork up there!”
Winston cleared his throat and held his hand up. “Thanks for the offer, Angus. But I’m a proud conservative. And I don’t need no goddamn participation trophies.”
Gigi socked him in the stomach. “Accept the gift card or we’re no longer friends!” she hissed, salivating over her imminent cheese dream.
***
“YOU HAVE SOMETHING I WANT,” the demon growled in the hallway.
Evelyn slowly dragged her chef’s knife across the door of Room 309 - a knife much larger than Angus’. Tai stared out the peephole, then rushed to the futon to grab his bible.
“We need to perform an exorcism ourselves!” Tai suggested, wearing nothing but bright blue boxers with coconut patterns.
“RIghteous idea, my man!” Jacky replied, donning yellow pineapple briefs. “The word of God is an indispensable weapon during the end times that we live in!”
Tai stared out the peephole again. Now, a senile Evelyn gently tapped the door with the tip of her knife. “Hey, uh, Evelyn,” Tai called out softly. “Why don’t we comb through Genesis together? I sure could use your help in memorizing the lineage of Adam!”
“NO BIBLE. I WILL STRANGLE YOU WITH YOUR INTESTINES!”
Jacky gave a thumbs up from the frame of the futon. “See, it’s working! That’s the devil in her trying to resist. But no man, woman, or spawn of Satan could possibly resist the righteous infallible word of God!”
Tai chuckled, half-nervous and half-relieved. Then, he opened the door halfway. “Welcome to our bible study, Evelyn! So if you would have a seat on our super comfy futon, we can-"
Suddenly, Tai lept behind the door as Evelyn charged through the room with her knife held high. “DIE! DIE! DIE!” she shrieked, heading straight for Jacky. He swiftly rolled under the futon frame, as Evelyn began stabbing through it, aiming for the head.
“Fuck!” Tai screamed, frantically flipping to Genesis 5. “Um, um...let the power of Christ compel you with His holy word! Enoch begat Methuselah, and Methuselah begat Lamech, and Lamech begat Noah!”
“WHY CAN’T I HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE?” Evelyn screamed. While Jacky cowered in a fetal position, she reared back and stabbed a hole in the wall.
“Oh, Evelyyyn?” Sarah Beavers called out, stepping into the room.
Evelyn spun around to face her, tears and mascara running down her face. She dropped the knife. Then, she swiveled her head around the room, dazed and confused.
“Oh...no,” Evelyn whispered in her normal voice. “Sarah, I did something bad, didn’t I?”
“Shush, it’s all gravy,” Sarah assured her, while Tai and Jacky looked at each other in shock. “Boys, let this be a lesson to you. Envy possessed Evelyn today. Not only was she envious of your AC, but also of your totally-rad same-sex relationship.”
Tai and Jacky realized they were still half-naked, and that it was too late to hide it. Evelyn, moaning softly, crawled over to Sarah and lay her head on her lap. Then, she began playing with Sarah’s dangling dreadlocks. “Now, now - no touchy-feely of the genitals,” Sarah politely warned her. “An asexual chick like myself ain’t no lamp in a corner, ya dig?”
Then, Sarah spotted the BDE binder on Tai’s desk. Cocking her head to the side, she slowly stood up to take a closer look.
“Shit,” Tai whispered to Jacky. “What do we do?”
“We can’t let her know about our operation,” Jacky whispered back.
“So, if my inner chi serves me well,” Sarah began, flipping through the pages. “You two plan on stealing Beta Delta Epsilon's fake ID collection from Winston, in a grand scheme to sell them to underage students?”
“What in the H-E-double-hockey-sticks?” Jacky whispered to Tai. “A psychic hippie? What kind of friends are you rolling with, bro?”
“I can hear you,” Sarah advised. She sat down next to Evelyn and slipped out an ID of a brunette hipster girl with straight hair. “It’s a crying shame that Winston didn’t think to include any white girls with dreadlocks. Simple-minded if you ask me. Oh! Evelyn, I found an ID just for you. See, she looks just like the chick from The Ring.”
“I will eat your soul,” Evelyn said in her normal voice. Suddenly, she pinned Sarah down and started tickling the hell out of her.
“Wait, so you’re not mad?” Tai asked Sarah, watching Evelyn win the completely non-sexual “game.”
Sarah caught her breath from her massive tickle-fit. Then, she snapped the binder shut. “Mad? Are you high? I’m a broke college student too. As a matter of fact, if you’re going to be making crazy money, I want in on it too. Evelyn and I both want in. And nobody, I mean nobody, breathes a word of this to my brother.”
***
Nine outgoing calls. Zero incoming calls.
Gigi slipped her phone back into her purse, fighting the urge to make it 10. On that windy night, she stood in downtown Asheville in front of Lazy Basil, waiting for Frank to fall from the sky. She was dressed up in a black polka-dot maxi dress with a white bow in her hair, knowing that she would be turned away for so much as thinking about blue jeans.
She grabbed a menu and read through the appetizers. Tempura Fried Calamari? Maybe. Chunky Spinach and Artichoke Dip? Eh. And then, her big brown eyes widened when she saw it. Caprese salad: fresh buffalo mozzarella topped with local organic tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, and fresh basil leaves from our herb garden.
“So he stood ya up, huh?”
Winston leaned against the streetlight in a black suit and tie. He took a final puff on his cigar, tossed it, then walked over to Gigi to read her menu. And like always, the smell of tobacco was masked by Winston’s signature sandalwood cologne.
“I can’t decide if I want the loaded macaroni and cheese,” Winston pondered, “or the fried cheese logs with marinara. Hey, ya reckon we could order one of each and share?”
Gigi wiped drool from the side of her mouth and came to her senses. “Um...wait, you’re not here for a date with Claire?”
Winston took out his phone and showed her the screen. Sixty-eight outgoing calls. Zero incoming calls. “Reckon I should try to call her one last time?” he asked with a grin. “I mean, I don’t wanna come off like a simp or nothin’.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were seated at a candlelit table for two. While they sipped on large glasses of red Moscato, Gigi explained her lactose intolerance and Frank’s plans to introduce her to cheese for the first time.
“So let me get this straight,” Winston said, leaning in. “You consider this cheating on your boyfriend, don’t you?”
“Um...well, it has nothing to do with you!” Gigi laughed nervously. “It’s...well, it’s cheating if I eat that.”
The waiter came over with a platter of Caprese salad and a refill of red wine. Winston picked up a soft, fluffy cheese disc and tore it in half. “I’m not a betting man. But I wager if your boyfriend wanted to have dinner with you, he’d be the one sitting across from ya.”
Gigi stared into Winston’s pale blue eyes, then at the mozzarella. Slowly, she reached out and placed it on her tongue. Then, she closed her eyes as the creamy, silky flavor graced her palate. She swallowed, then grabbed another, shoving the whole disc in her mouth. Satisfied, Winston pushed the plate toward her. Then, he took out his phone and turned on the camera.
“Here’s to Gigi’s first dairy experience,” he announced, taking a photo. “And, I reckon, the moment before one of her many trips to the bathroom.”
She gasped, tossing her dinner napkin at him. They laughed, garnering the attention of a couple of older, quieter patrons. But Winston and Gigi lived in their own world, sipping refill after refill of wine as she alone cleaned that plate. Before long, the waiter returned with fried mozzarella logs for Winston and loaded macaroni and cheese for Gigi.
“So, all jokes aside,” Gigi started. She leaned forward, the candlelight casting a golden glow on her grinning, pale face. “In your old YouTube days...how long would it take you to eat everything on this table?”
“Son of a bitch!” Winston laughed, dunking a log into his marinara. “I knew my sister told ya about my eating channel! How much of it did you get around to watching?”
“Oh, you don’t want to know!” Gigi giggled, taking her first-ever bite of mac and cheese.
And while the two loyal friends shared stories and cheese dishes, their other friends betrayed loyalty that night. Sarah, Tai, Evelyn, and Jacky used Winston’s fake IDs to bar crawl all over downtown Asheville. And Claire sneaked Frank into the Beta Delta Epsilon frat house, where they rolled in the sheets all night long.
submitted by welcometosouthapp to welcometosouthapp [link] [comments]


2020.08.13 18:10 HornyRabbitThorn Camera video hide porn

I'm really bored so I made this. Deal with the formatting. I am just compiling a bunch of information into a post.
---------------------------------------His past------------------------------------
Yandere dev/Alex Mahan was also known as EvaXephon back when he was on 4chan. He wrote pretty creepy fanfictions. I will list some titles that I could find: I am your slave, Persona 3 fanfiction, To live is to die. He has also written fan fiction on Soul Calibur, Metroid, Legend of Zelda, and fallout.
-------------------------Beginnings of Yandere Simulator------------------------------
Alex started Yandere Simulator when he got good feedback on 4chan. Eventually, it gained a lot of traction with big names playing it like Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, KubzScouts, Bijuu Mike, etc. This caused yandere simulator to explode in popularity. This was the glory days of the game. He was making a lot of money from Patreon and fans believed in him. But it was only a matter of time before the drama started.

---------------Tiny Build situation--------------------------------------
On March 1st, 2017 Yandere dev announced a company named Tiny Build teamed up with yandere dev to help him with his game. Yandere dev canceled the deal with Tiny Build. He couldn't understand the new code they put. It was C#. He was originally coding it in javascript. He fired the Tiny Build developer and sent a sob story email to Tiny Build. I believe he owed $31,000. He said that the coding made his mental health suffer and he thought they could get his game unbanned from Twitch.

-----------------------------Beginnings of Drama-----------------------------------------
People noticed that it was taking a long time for Osana to be implemented. On November 11th, 2018, yandere dev made a video called "Hate and Shame". It was a pretty shit video. He portrayed himself as a girl being attacked by "gremlins" taking things out of context. Pretty manipulative stuff. I'll explain more in the following sections.

----------------------------Crying on the internet-------------------------------
He has dismissed pretty much all criticism as blatant lies that can be debunked easily. He has a debunk page on his site, but it is terrible. I encourage you to go check it out if you haven't already. Due to him banning people who criticize him, a trend started where people would speedrun to see how fast they could get banned. Some people actually posted gore on his discord server which is a shitty thing to do. But not everyone who hates him does that.

----------------------Perverted Concepts-------------------------
The currency in the game is panty shots where you have to take pictures of girl's panties. I cringed so hard when I saw this. People in 12th grade in Japan are 17-18. But a high school doesn't only have one grade. There are 90 students, and they are not all 18. Some rivals are literal adults attracted to senpai.

----------------------"Defense" arguments made to defend Alex-----------
1.) He is just one person! Yes, he is. But it has been 6 years to implement one rival out of ten. He keeps adding things to the Trello list he is doing. He had a chance to publish it quickly, but couldn't because he wasn't good enough to understand good code.
2.) He has so many emails he needs to go through and works 12 hours a day! He doesn't have to go through every single email. He should go through emails for at least 3 hours. And focus the rest on the actual game.
3.) Constant harassment has lowered his mental health! #1 rule of the internet. Don't show you don't like stuff and have a reaction. That will cause even more trolls. He doesn't even have to read it. If he just calmed down and looked at the criticism in the right way, people would stop because they won't get a reaction out of him.
4.) I'd like to see you do better! As consumers, the producer is expected to create a product that we enjoy and buy. If people really wanted to, they could learn to code, it is very possible. This argument is shit and a petty attempt to defend him.
-----------------------------What yandere dev should've done at the beginning----------------
Yandere simulator is a case of a game developer being over-ambitious with their project. Yandere simulator wants to be like Persona 5 and hitman. The issue is those were made by professionals and companies. He wants to implement those concepts by himself as a mediocre programmer.
-------------------The memes----------------
Consume the cum chalice is a very popular meme. It is an old video of Alex sipping a chalice of milk praising Nicholas Alexander for pirating Warcraft 3. There is also a meme of just posting his face and having him singing.
Are ya coding, son? Is a popular meme too, making fun of his shit coding.

-----------------------Watashi No Mono-----------------
This started as a fan game but became a standalone game. The developer EpicMeal stopped development because yandere dev threatened to sue. Yandere dev didn't have a case obviously, but he is a college student that can't afford a lawyer. The pressure was too much and he stopped development
--------------------A new hope for the yandere concept--------------
Love letter: My True Feelings was formerly known as LoveSick, a fan game. But due to all the drama, they moved away from it and made their own thing. The developer is DrApeIs, I highly recommend you join their discord server and follow their twitter. People, there are respectful even with criticism being made. They do want to move on from the drama. DrApeIs has been called out for actions but at least he acknowledged and apologized. Unlike a certain developer. Many people including me are excited to see where this game goes. Yandere dev did message him saying he stole his volunteers and said "If it was for a person's life, I would cancel development". People saw it as a suicide threat, but it could mean financially for him too.
--------------------Will he finish the rivals?-------------
Since yandere dev can't take this criticism he stated he might "copy and paste Osana 9 times and disappear". First of all, good luck getting hired at any company, a quick background check reveals the shit he has done.
-------------------Kickstarter--------------
Yandere dev stated that if the Kickstarter goes well he could hire programmers and push the game out. However, this is highly unlikely. A poll made on if they would donate money had a majority saying no. Even if it becomes successful, who in their right mind would work for him. I doubt even a company will publish it too. This game could get bad press because of the perverted concepts. No company would ruin their image with that.

---------------Yandere-chan isn't even a yandere lmao---------
Definition of yandere: A fictional character who fits the archetype of being genuinely romantic, loving, kind, merciful, sparing, sweet and gentle, but is at the same time brutal, psychotic or deranged in behavior.
However, yandere dev described her as emotionless before she met Senpai. Ayano is more of a killer kuudere.

-----------------------------Bland storyline and characters---------------
Senpai looks bland af. It is just a guy with black hair. I would get it if he was like a punk attitude because girls are attracted to "bad guys". Also, yandere dev put his sex doll into a game as "Mai Waifu"

-------------------------Incorrect Japanese names----------
Yandere dev said the nurse's name means Nurse Nurse, but that is incorrect. It actually translates to egg plant. ナース" (Nāsu). That is the proper name.

--------------------------The end of this long ass post--------------------

This is just for people who want to see MOST of the information in one post. Feel free to add your own points in the comments, if you even see this lol.

Edit: I forgot to mention the copyright strike against TheGameSleuth.
Another edit: He streams video games every day, but he has his steam profile on private. Probably because he actually plays video games most of the day and wants to hide it. There is no proof of this, so I will leave it to speculation.

------------The math-----------
Yandere dev claims he spends 5% of his time on Osana. There are 52560 hours in 6 years. 5% of that is 2628 hours. This is roughly because he doesn't spend 24 hours a day on the game. So my estimate is that he has spent over 1k+ hours on Osana. However, he only claims it.

---------------Stupid/bad things done on camera/online--------
1.) Telling a fan to go kill themselves on stream
2.) Spending 3k to buy yandere_simulator just to silence criticism.
3.) He bought sex dolls and stuff for (4,000?) dollars.
4.) Implying suicide to TRY to shut down Love Letter

------------"Progress"-----------------------------
1.) A bunch of easter eggs
2.) Ripped school from a porn game (isn't even his model")
3.) Voice acting
4.) Some events for Kokona and the sisters
5.) Still same unity asset store models
6.) Fixing some bugs to have countless more appear
7.) Adding demons/ demon power to the game.
8.) An "ending" where you just kill everyone on the first day without easter eggs.
9.) Snap Mode
------------------------------------Where credit is due------------
He hasn't credited some volunteers, and there are some cases of him stealing assets without the creators knowing. LIKE GRASS.

Note: If any yandere simulator mods see this, I have one message for you. Get a life and stop scouring this subreddit for the slightest bit of evidence to ban someone. Grow up you fucking fetuses. Also, too bad this subreddit isn't owned by yandere dev.
submitted by HornyRabbitThorn to Osana [link] [comments]


2020.08.07 15:44 StarwarsITALY Camera video hide porn

YaReally
on July 18th, 2016 at 1:35 am

u/Anonymous Reader
“Losing connectivity is something a bit scary now for a lot of people because it is so ubiquitous”
Try getting a group of 20-somethings to all go out on a Friday night with no phones and watch the
mindfuck resistance that goes through their brains lol It’s funny because when I STARTED sarging
everyone would go out without that shit. It’s changed game dynamics…if you could isolate a girl in
the Mystery Method days, she would maybe do one lap to look for her friends to say goodbye and
then just assume they all went home. Now she’ll have a dozen txts saying “where are you??” lol
“Or pick a tune /artist to seed Pandora with and let someone else guide your thoughts”
Ya and I’m not even talking about just music. I’m talking about discussions and podcasts and shit,
like general internet content. I can throw on a Joe Rogan playlist for literally a week straight and
take in a ton of info and ideas but never actually sit down and make time to really process them or
reflect on them as I go on some quiet walk through a park because I have to catch more
Pokemonz!!!11 And now my friend is txting me!! And I have a new match on Tinder!!! Okay I
turned off my phone and met up with my friend but look he has a new match on Tinder!! And look
at his pokemons!!! And–and–
And I didn’t even HAVE a phone till my mid-20s, let alone a smartphone. But kids are getting
phones as early as 13 these days. I can’t even IMAGINE what school would have been like if we
had cell phones…it would have been another fucking world from socializing to cheating on
homework/tests to bullying/gossiping/peer pressure to public-wide embarrassment etc etc
“Say, I wonder how many people under 30 have ever texted while engaged in sexytime?”
lol…girls pull out their smartphone to answer their txts when we cuddle up after sex. I let them do it
because it doesn’t bother me and it’s funny to get a glimpse into their world and see their txt convos
with their girlfriends (and always an ego boost to see their GFs asking if we’re still going at it and
telling them they’re jealous etc lol) and their chodey orbiters, I’ll have them show me my Tinder
competition sometimes and just watch how/why they swipe Left/Right on guys etc It’s fascinating
to see into their world.
u/scribblerg
“And I’ve been pondering why – but I’ve studied enough MM and others to know. I don’t have a
routine canned that really spikes and DHVs. I leave it to chance and wing it.”
😦You got it.
This goes back to what I say when I talk about Naturals…Naturals are GREAT at what they do.
BUT, there are sticking points and weak spots in what they do. It’s hard for a Natural to use
anything canned (unless it’s telling the story of something amazing they did that they’ve told 1000
times lol), like to use a canned structure…so if they don’t get immediate good feedback they don’t
really have a gameplan (VS “ok, time for that cold-read that always makes girls feel X emotion”).
When you were young and in your prime and had amazing internal beliefs and subcomms and pussy
abundance etc you didn’t need as much of a gameplan because that shit would float you along in set.
But it’s powerful to have a few canned things where you KNOW you can spike Attraction or shift
the interaction toward a specific mood etc at the snap of your fingers. Like if an AMOG enters my
set I have a bunch of shit I can whip out that will get the girls laughing their asses off and fully
focused on me and blow the guy out because he doesn’t know what to do when they can’t stop
laughing and I just take a step to the side so the girls’ backs turn to him and dude is stuck standing
there as I spike their emotions and we all ignore him (his value sinking the more he stands there
without laughing)
“It’s funny how sitting here reviewing the approaches of the day makes clear what’s missing.”
This is why I push guys to do their Field Reports lol NOT doing Field Reports and only doing Brag
Reports is why the Manosphere and reddit TRP’ers make slow-ass progress compared to PUAs. It’s
like refusing to do homework…which is fine you can still pass, but if your goal is to get honors in
school this year, do your fucking homework and then do a little extra.
“@Ya – The road to this place has been quite painful and tumultuous. In a way, it’s been mostly
about becoming really self focused and greedier for what i want out of life. Shedding the negative
energy towards myself. Sure, I’m still a maniac, but I like being a maniac now, he he.”
lol good man. Your mindset a year ago was like “I don’t even know what I WANT and would feel
guilty expecting/wanting ANYTHING for my self” after years of providing for others. This is huge
progress internally. It’s a big unplugging for a guy to finally realize and accept that it’s OKAY to
“be selfish” and have desires and wants and needs and actively try to obtain those without worrying
about people pleasing along the way…which is probably what you did back when you were in your
prime slaying shit as an alpha. Till the FI got ahold of you.
u/Sentient
“Pokemon Go circa 1959… what goes around comes around…”
lol hula hoop is making a comeback in the EDM/rave scene:
I know a handful of girls who think they look like these girls but COMPLETELY don’t, it’s the
funniest shit:
But you knew that, right? Now we have your crazes AND our crazes. And they’re worldwide
phenomenons using social media to ramp the hype train up and keep people obsessed (“I only have
X pokemons, but this guy in korea has 10x that!!” “this girl can at this festival I didn’t go to can do
this crazy hula hooping wow I want to do that!!” In the 60s that guy in Korea’s hula hoop skillz
would be unknown to you and if you didn’t go to that festival you maybe heard about her from a
friend if you had a friend who went or maybe saw a blurry black n white photo and a general text
description of her skillz).
Technology influences society. No idea how you can deny it. This girl made a video thinking she’s
going to directly talk to fucking Pharrell Williams and get herself on stage at Coachella…look how
CONFIDENT she is about it, she’s even cracking jokes and shit like it’s a done deal in her mind
that she’s going to get the attention of a AAA celebrity and get to go up on stage at this huge event:
“Pharrell – You…Me…on stage @ Coachella? Lets do this! Friends, family and fans…please tweet
this video to u/pharrell and use hashtag #coachellahappyhoopgirl Lets see if the power of social
media can get me on stage at Coachella! Please share!”
And the crazy thing is it could HAPPEN in 2016. It’s not even that much of a stretch for her to get
this. Having access to a smartphone and the internet has given her the chance at getting close to
AAA celebrities. She could fuck Pharrell and have his kids and have the life of a billionaire with
minimal effort, and if she doesn’t get him she’s on-stage for hundreds of thousands of rich good-
looking etc dudes to see her and contact her and try to court her, all they have to do is shoot her a
fucking Tweet or an Instagram message.
That wasn’t the same world that some small-town fangirl of the Beatles or Elvis lived in. If you
don’t understand how that kind of then EN MASSE can fuck with the dynamics of inter-gender
relationships in society, I don’t know what to tell you lol
But hey, don’t listen to me, listen to Blaximus, the guy YOU used as an example:
“Lol my brother. IMO, the ” games ” craze of the last 25 or so years if different than the crazes of
the past.”
“Man, just keep an eye out. Today isn’t hoola hoop territory by a long shot. Grown ass men playing
Pokemon….”
“This stuff is all relatively new, and it gets progressively worse very quickly.”
It’s funny how you keep focusing on me and not any of the other guys who are telling you you
don’t know what you’re talking about lol Lot safer that way tho, hey. Wouldn’t want to have to deal
with logic or anything.
“Every week at my job lately, I watch as HR struggles with disciplinary actions being levelled at the
throngs of mostly young workers who do everything from surfing porn on their phones, to gawking
at social media for hours and hours. Guidelines have mostly been blatantly ignored.”
lol ya, it’s insane. My buddy will txt me alllll fucking day at work, to complain about girls spending
all day gossiping. And he doesn’t see the irony. All I can think of is what it must be like to be the
boss of that place and you have an entire company putting in maybe 2 hours of actual solid work per
day…but you can’t fire any of the women or risk a lawsuit lol
The tradeoff is that they’ll toss you out the second they can replace you with someone cheaper or
more up to date on whatever technology the company uses or go bankrupt and everyone loses their
jobs randomly, VS the old days where I hear there was loyalty between a company and its
employees (work hard and you’ll have a job for life…of course NOW that only holds up if you can
stay out of the public eye and not have your career destroyed at the tail end by SJW mobs, hi
Shirtgate guy who landed a on a fucking comet you shouldn’t have worn that offensive shirt! Hi
Donglegate victims who were fired by the overly-offended SJW in front of them plastering their
faces across social media at a tech conference! Hi Tim Hunt who’s words were taken out of content
and he had to resign after the SJW mobs slandered him!).
But no, it’s TOTALLY the same now lol
u/Sentient u/scribblerg
“Teasing, aggressive cold reading, push / pull, throw in some compliance hoops, a little kino…. then
go with rapport stuff like “real conversations”…”
This. Moar A1-A3 before you go into C1.
“Who wants to go long on Pokemon Go…?”
Oh Pokemon Go will die in a few months. Probably as soon as the weather gets a little colder. But
there are about eleventeen billion Pokemon Go clones being made right now to replace it for the
people who love it and for everyone else a million other things (from new games and apps to new
podcasts and movies to new YouTube videos to new songs and bands to new dating sites etc etc etc
all available at the swipe of a button) will come out every month to help keep feeding their
dopamine urges. They don’t have to find a way to make having a pet rock be fun for a year…they
can buy a pet rock and then a dozen other pet rocks including the rare pet rock that they can post on
their instagram to make everyone else jealous, then lose interest in the whole thing in a week and
pick up on any of the other thousands of fads that their smartphones and media dangle in front of
their face.
But it’s TOTALLY the same as when you were a kid.
u/hank holiday
“Still working on that. Hard to get a job in the big city, but I am making calls.”
Good man. I’m more excited about this than you actually getting laid right now lol
“I just KNOW it. She’s up to something. So everything I say is about uncovering this”
Right, this is some cold-reading/roleplaying-ish combo and it works well so keep it up. But also
think about how to turn it sexual when you do it.
“Just having more things ping my radar now. Had that happen a few times at work.”
This is why I’m not pushing you too hard yet. You’re still learning what iois even LOOK like let
alone believing you get/deserve them. Now you can tell the difference between girls being interested
and not interested and friendly interested VS flirty interested etc which is all important calibration
to learn so that you know when to plow forward and when you recalibrate and try another angle.
Plus it’s hard to push all the way when you’re legitimately not attracted to the girls…when you get
to a new city around girls you won’t regret waking up beside, is when I’m going to push you harder
to focus on actually closing lol
And ya you can go back into set over and over. It’s fine. If she was your girlfriend you wouldn’t be
like “oh I already talked to her once when I was in the room earlier, I’d better not engage her again
or she’ll LOSE attraction for me” lol Because you know you have value to your girlfriend and that
she’s getting value by you engaging her. If I’m handing you a bag with a million dollars in it, I’m
not going to be like “oh I knocked on his door and he wasn’t super receptive and didn’t open it fully
and let me even really tell him about this bag of money…I guess I’d better not knock again because
then he won’t want this million dollars” lol In my mind I’m going to knock again until you realize
exactly the value I’m offering you because in my mind OBVIOUSLY you would LOVE for me to
knock again so I can give you this million dollars, you just don’t realize all the value I’m holding
(DHVing is like dangling the bag of money with a dollar sign on it in front of the peephole on their
door) lol
That doesn’t mean don’t calibrate, but like, don’t be afraid to re-engage a few times. If she’s
hostile/actively negative then ya, you can back off. But if she’s just lukewarm or plays along a bit
but doesn’t really instigate or anything or is just one word answers etc, feel free to give it another go
and try different stuff until you hit something that gets her to open up.
u/Sentient u/Hank
“You catching pokemon?” and thats it. Why WOULDN’T you use that. Lol, its so easy.”
A point to consider… this is an easy open but does not sexualize… I’ve had good success with
Phone Destroyer lines like “swiping left a lot huh…?” etc.”
Agreed on the sexualization thing. I’m using “Are you Tindering or catching Pokemon? ’cause I’m
going to judge you for doing either one in a bar.”
u/scray u/hank
“you are getting attraction from them, it’s just subtle and less “obvious” than you’re used to. you’ll
also notice that the windows of opportunity to escalate are narrower and the margin for error is
smaller, too.”
This. This is why taking newbies infield is so frustrating their first year lol They’re getting
attraction that to guys like us is neon flashing green lights 100% guaranteed lays lined up…but
they’ll eject the set and be like “I wonder if she liked me…she complimented my hair, so that’s an
ioi right?” Meanwhile the chick was ready to go home with him lol
Kenny Powers is epic. That’s basically how I walk into nightclubs lol Inside my head that’s what’s
happening even if the bar is completely empty or no one’s even looking at me and I’m just walking
in normal etc, just full delusion. Greatest Natural I’ve ever met was like this too, we used to watch
this show before going to the bars lol Highly recommend the show, Kenny Powers is like the
definition of frame control and delusional confidence.
“a girl glances over at me across the room for a second or two…i don’t treat it as ‘oh hmmm maybe
she’s….’ i treat as XXX-rated blatant hitting on me she’s desperate for my cock jesus christ slow
down i don’t want to wake up pregnant.”
lol ya, same. Hank will be like this too one day if he sticks at this. But first he’s gotta experience
these iois and learn how subtle they can be. It’s like that Mystery vid I linked where he’s talking
about girls playing with their hair and scratching their hand etc and the girl beside him is doing it
whenever he tools her and can’t stop herself…but it’s so subtle that most guys wouldn’t notice it in
the video unless they’re told to look for it, let alone notice it in real-time, let alone notice it in real-
time with a girl doing it for THEM.
u/SJF
“Nintendo has little to profit from outright insanity of Poke Go”
…lol wut? Nintendo is going to be rolling in money from the hype lol
“And no, u/YaReally I don’t play Pokemon Go. Don’t need to waste time on leisure pursuits.”
Whoops, I read “I went on a walk this evening with my wife Pokemonining” as that you’re
Pokemoning together, my bad.
“Instead of getting butt-hurt about the FI and whining about the mores of adolescent skill set 25 year
olds in night clubs and bars.”
I’m not butt-hurt about it. I’m pointing out the reality of what’s happening out there. That reality
happens to not be extremely positive. You interpret this as whining and butt-hurt because it makes
you sad to hear negative things and you would rather duck your head in the sand and cover your
ears.
Sorry but if we’re going to have honest conversations about parenting in 2016, I think guys should
be aware of the influences out there affecting their kids instead of acting like they’re all going to an
Amish church when they leave the house. CALL ME CRAZY.
“My rant has to do with a larger demographic. And the demographic of a lot of other lurkers and
readers on the blog here.”
I’m the one talking about vast changes across society that affect the average boy in today’s society.
You and Sentient are the ones digging out personal anecdotes of your family out in the middle of a
forest that doesn’t use technology and gangsta-wannabe dudes jumping around in front of cameras.
Most Red Pill guys are going to be working on handling their shit enough to be able to raise their
kids in at least a middle-class environment in a decent sized city with similar peers for their kids to
engage with, where they’re going to run into the shit I’m talking about. I don’t see a lot of push in
the Red Pill community to raise your kids in ghettos or move out to farms where you can control
every factor like you and Sentient.
“PUA and your target women”
Remember kids, PUA is only for chasing those drunk bar sluts!!! It has no other applications outside
of that.
“Nothing about red pill theory or masculine tactical virtues, or masculine self improvement other
that PUA skills. Nothing about old school Stoicism, wealth creation so you can kick back a little
halfway through the sixth decade, legacy, nice home, recreation, hobbies, reading fantastic books,
tribal socializing with guys.”
Other PUAs/Red Pill’ers cover that stuff better than me. But they also take into account the changes
happening in society instead of believing nothing has changed. New set of books has been written,
time to adapt.
“I’ll whine about 2% of your writing sure, when your talking trash and nihilism.”
I just point out a negative observable trend and the lack of incentives/reasons for it to turn around.
You interpreting that as “talking trash and nihilism” is your own “don’t tell me everything isn’t
perfect!!” baggage.
“Maybe stick to PUA advice. Instead of cultural prescriptive nihilism.”
Again the nihilistic aspect is your interpretation. I’m just reporting from the field. You’re doing the
same shit as when someone points out a statistic on race and the SJWs go “YOU’RE A RACIST
YOU’RE PROMOTING HATE!!” No, I’m just reporting observable trends. Don’t shoot the
messenger just ’cause you don’t like the message out there.
“(I.e. you don’t know shit about parenting 21 y.o. and beyond–one’s children don’t fall off a cliff
outside your grasp, no matter how shitty society is.)”
No, but I know a lot about fucking those 21yos who leave the nests of their family’s influence and
go off the rails, or were off the rails under their family’s care but were just really good at hiding it
while their parents thought they were raising a NAWALT unicorn.
So ya, I think my observations are a little bit relevant in a discussion about social influences on
children and how that can affect long-term parenting.
No one’s saying you’re a bad parent, I’m just saying society’s current influences are off the fucking
charts and if your kid moves across the country from you and makes a bunch of friends, they’re
going to be surrounded by those influences 24/7. How is that a controversial statement?
“Humans still have strong tendencies from DNA, epi-DNA and patterned behavior despite that rapid
changes and decline of old school norms.”
How is this any different from The Man harping on how we’re all hardwired to follow the golden
rule? Meanwhile we’ve got dudes driving a semi full of weapons through crowds of families
attending festivals and shit.
“And your PUA gathered intelligence infield is a lagging indicator.”
lol it’s the most up to date indicators possible to get. And we can make future predictions based off
the data we collect.
“You mean PUA infield actually predicted in 2006 that girls would become more flaky, more self
validated and more frenetic?”
If we had known smartphones would take off, ya we could have predicted that shit. Even back when
Facebook and online dating started picking up steam we were talking about how it would change
dynamics. Same with texting etc. No one saw technology coming in like a wrecking ball the way it
did but everything that’s happening makes perfect sense through PUA analysis (women feeling their
value is inflated from the thirsty attention etc etc).
“What do you predict for 10 years from now?”
I’d tell you but you’ll cry about how I’m being nihilistic and I’ll have to read another rant about my
one-dimensionality.
u/scray u/SJF
“if my ‘kin’ bring value, great, i give it back. if they don’t, they can fuck off.”
This is my view. That’s how I handle my conversations here too. The only people I’m an asshole to
are the ones who are an asshole to me first. Except everyone loses their shit when I give back what
they throw at me lol Someone lectures me like a condescending dickhead so I give them the same
thing right back 10-fold and suddenly it’s “Why is YaReally so MEAAAAAN!! He’s such a
jerrrrrk!!!” It’s hilarious.
“maybe. maybe not. i know plenty of girls who have done shit their parents will NEVER know
about — runs the gamut from bad life phases with drugs, dudes, shit a stint as an escort or minor
porn star, sugar baby…like lol man….
this is typical manosphere ‘IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO ME IN CAMELOT’ thinking….and
maybe you’re right, idk…but you must conduct yourself as if it can and has already.”
This. I’m sure your guys’ daughters are perfectly well adjusted virgin angels and your boys are all
super jock alpha male badasses. But in a discussion providing men parenting advice, I’m not going
to tell them “don’t worry about it, just be stoic and optimistic and everything will work out perfect!
:)” I’m going to tell them “look this is what you’re up against out there” so they have a realistic
understanding of what it’s going to take to keep a kid on track long-term.
But hey, I’m an asshole for wanting men to be prepared because hearing this stuff makes some guys
sad. Just like Blue Pill people will call me an asshole for pointing out that girls like jerks because
they don’t wanna hear it. Okay I guess I’m an asshole then lol
“Any second any thing can happen. Doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t invest in actually doing more
than just one dimension.”
NO ONE IS SAYING YOU SHOULDN’T. We are saying that it’s important to be aware of the
realities out there.
“I used to pursue leisure pursuits until I got a real pursuit and passion.”
So we get to the real heart of the issue: people not doing what you want. Basically we have to live
like you or we’re one dimensional. You can live however you want, but when the rest of society is
chasing Pokemon Go, that’s going to have an effect on social conditioning for the masses even if
you manage to dodge the bullet because you’re a super badass. I’m getting at how do we help the
guys who aren’t super badasses living on farms like you and Sentient, how do we help the guys who
live in cities with kids who interact with peer groups that have smartphones at 13 and view Miley
Cyrus as a role model etc But god forbid anyone discuss anything that doesn’t directly relate to you.
u/digireaper
Most people out by themselves wouldn’t have even talked to that guy you talked to.
That actually brings up another change in society I’ve noticed: when I go sit solo at a bar to have a
pint/food, if a younger dude is sitting at the bar, he’ll be engrossed in his phone or otherwise
keeping to himself. But if an older dude like a Blaximus is sitting there, in my peripheral vision I’ll
99% of the time catch them WANTING to engage the people around them. Like there’s a certain
body language to it where they’ll glance at everyone else or chuckle out loud to something on the
TV in front of us or sit angled a certain open way or SOMETHING where it’s like, you KNOW
they’re DYING to have a real human interaction/conversation because in their day that’s what
people DID sitting at the bar, you just talked to whoever was around you, but now that’s like a
foreign idea to a lot of this generation and we’ll just eat/drink in silence keeping to ourselves and
our phone lol
Actually one of our oldschool ways of encouraging guys to open was to tell them “be like that old
guy at the bar that just starts telling stories” lol Because that’s a classic stereotype we think is funny,
but really it comes from when things were, in terms of socializing, better in my opinion…back
when we didn’t have portable distraction devices. I’d imagine a bar before they had TVs or radios
would have been social as fuck and it would be normal to chat with people of different ages and
walks of life because they just happened to be beside you.
u/Rocket
“Guess I’m done here … again. Yeah … Ya-Really … ya, really … you’re a fucking asshole.”
“I tried to offer a decent commentary here, from my situation with SBs”
Oh ya? You were trying to have a discussion were you? You came in here flipping the bird to
everyone and then in your follow-up you start with “I’m not reading any of your replies fuck you
guys”. Now you’re trying to paint history like you’re some fucking victim and I’m a big bully. You
didn’t want a discussion, don’t try to bullshit us. You wanted to come in and brag and swing your
dick around and then a girl hurt your feels and now you’re butthurt that someone called you out on
it.
“you grow some balls and meet some real women in real life”
lol that was the last two nights. Tonight is Sunday.
“Yeah, real men pick up on that shit and realize you’re a fucking turd.”
lol why is it always the turdiest of men that call me a turd and think it’s going to sting?
“Truth is … YOU DON”T KNOW SHIT. Not about me, my situation or anyone else’s here.”
Truth is your situation isn’t unique or special. We all know guys like you, we’ve all met guys who
do the SD-SB thing and try to convince us they have a NAWALT unicorn and their relationship is
real and goes beyond the payments. That’s why you had more than just me telling you to try telling
your girl you don’t have anymore money. Because we know the relationship is a fantasy even if you
don’t. You want to believe you’re the exception to the rules, but you’re not. You’re the same as half
the RVF running off to thailand thinking their thailand girls are madly in love with them and
they’ve found a loophole and a way to rig the system.
“Letting some dudes tee off on others … ain’t right and just drives people away.”
Like I say, the guys who throw a fit about me teeing off on them are the guys who teed off on me or
the general forum first. If you think this assholish shit:
“I got sex, on demand, 72 times in a row with ZERO FLAKES. For all the doubters … YaReally …
I’m speaking to you … try that in the real world. Brad Pitt don’t get 72 times in a row with zero
flakes.”
“Haven’t pissed your life away learning to lie, deceive, manipulate and bullshit like a used car
salesman or a woman (ps, its called “game”) ?”
…was calm and reasonable discussion then just lol You tee off on me, literally calling my name out
in your rant about your fantasy SD-SB relationship, insult PUAs, game in general, talking shit to the
married guys, etc and then when I just return the favor you cry bully and play the victim? Are you a
woman? Don’t dish it out if you don’t want it served back.
“You want to drive away your audience by putting a two faced lying asshole like YaReally in charge
to drive the dynamic”
Nothing two-faced about me. If I think you’re a dick I won’t pretend I don’t…that’s the part you’re
mad about, isn’t it?
u/redlight
“and they will get married, and have kids, and divorce rape. That’s nothing new.”
Divorce rates have increased dramatically since no-fault divorce was created and technology
creating an entire ecosystem of support for women and slander for men in divorce situations, and
the limitless options women are handed by Tinder etc etc helps perpetuate it.
It’s not at ALL the same as the old days where a divorced woman was shamed and had limited men
to choose from. How the fuck is saying this controversial or debatable?? Am I in crazy land?
“According to ya, what has now changed for these guys, do you think they are no longer getting
pussy?”
Significantly less are, now that you can’t legally rape your wife and society will support her in
cuckolding you, I’d imagine.
“Do you think they are no longer having girlfriends?”
Sure they are. And those girlfriends are dealing with the insane societal pushes to do things like be
Sugar Babies, literally the topic of Rollo’s article. Again how the fuck is any of this controversial?
Where am I right now? A Blue Pill forum??
“Do you think they are no longer getting married?”
Hopefully they aren’t, but lots of them are because they’re still FI-conditioned to believe that True
Love will conquer all and marriage will fix their relationship problems, just show MORE
commitment, happy wife happy life, etc, etc Meanwhile society is telling their GFs/wives they don’t
need no man, and a woman should ride the cock carousel in her 20s just like Amy Schumer in her
latest movie where guys with 6-packs chase her and she rejects them for being too needy lolol high-
five grrrlfriend, and focus on your career instead of settling down omg you want to settle down
what are you a 1950s housewife don’t you care about yourself and your independence, and there’s
no such thing as the wall so drink and do drugs and party it up you’ll have the same attention at 41
as you have at 21, and here’s a thousand orbiters better looking than your boyfriend txting you
every week and hey Chris Hemsworth just Liked your Instagram photo you could get Chris
Hemsworth omg he even MESSAGED you what are you doing with that small-town guy?? Eat pray
love your way out of that marriage girlfriend just like in that Eat Pray Love movie, a world of Chris
Hemsworths is waiting for you, we all divorced our husbands and don’t want to feel like lonely
single losers so we need you to sabotage your relationship too so we can all have girls’ night
drinking wine and Tindering while we watch the trailer for Bad Moms that glamourizes being shitty
moms.
…but hey, don’t listen to me, I’m just some asshole that should be banned for bringing up
uncomfortable truths in a Red Pill forum so we can maybe figure out ways to help future men
overcome this stuff and raise their kids to navigate this world better. But fuck me, right?
submitted by StarwarsITALY to yareally [link] [comments]