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2012.04.15 13:14 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: I went through menopause when I was 16 years old. AMA.

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Date: 2012-04-15
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Questions Answers
How were you first diagnosed? What kind of symptoms did you have? I had regular periods for two years (13 and 14) and one month, I finally worked up the courage to buy tampons. My mother was a maxi pad kinda lady and I was always too embarrassed to buy my own products, so it was a pretty big deal for me to own this box of cotton plugs. That month, my period never came. I thought it was weird, but I learned in health class that sometimes teenagers can be irregular, so I didn't think anything of it.
Six months later, I was concerned about it. At the time, I didn't correlate the symptoms, but I was having temperature regulation issues (hot one minute, freezing the next), headaches, and irritability. I confessed my amenorrhea to my mom, who made an appointment with my pediatrician, who in turn referred me to a gyno.
So I was 15 and seeing a gyno. Everyone in the waiting room always looked at me, judging. I know they thought I was a prego teen (fuck them and their judgement). Gyno was not concerned initially; she told me the same thing I thought was the problem, that I just had irregular periods. But I still got a pretty comprehensive workup.
I got a karyotype to check for genetic stuff, tons of blood work, ultrasounds, and a progestin challenge. In the end, the confirmatory test of an elevated Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) proved that I was menopausal.
I found out on September 11, 2001. My mom was devastated about the diagnosis. I just ignored it and watched the news. There were bigger things happening.
I found out on September 11, 2001. WTF? that sounds like an awful day. I think some people had an awfuller day than I did. Some people still can't look back on that day without crying.
There actually is a New Girl episode about making sure to go to the doctor for seeing whether or not you have a medical problem. TIL. :)
This might sound weird or personal, but I'm curious... When you have sex with, let's say a long time boyfriend/husband, does he not use a condom? And do you let him just cum in you? I have only not used condoms (sorry about the bad grammar) with one person: my fiance. We haven't used condoms for a few years, but we were tested for STDs before we made the switch to no protection.
Sometimes in the...ahem...throes of passion...he cums in me. Generally, though, I don't really like the feeling of semen inside of me, so he'll usually finish on my stomach or..umm...in my mouth.
Do you swallow? I can't imagine how anyone could possibly give a shit about this.
I'm pretty sure this is an awesome answer. I'm pretty sure you're an awesome person. :)
Besides not being able to have a baby, in what way do you notice that your condition positively or negatively effects your life in comparison to your female peers? Positive ~not having to worry about birth control ~not having periods every month (I get them around twice a year with the hormones I'm on)
Negative ~I have to worry about heart disease and osteoporosis more than other women my age ~I get condescendingly sympathetic tones from some women once they find out I'm infertile ~Some women tell me that I'll "never understand what it's like" when discussing having children, raising children, or being pregnant.
The last part kinda pissed me off. you can still know what its like raising a child, with adoption. but dont let that "never understand whats its like" shit get to you, its bull. Yeah, that last part pisses me off too. But some women feel superior, and these same women are the ones that also scream at men for not understanding the pain of bearing children. I've learned to shrug it off and let them think they're better than me.
Couldn't you still get pregnant with donated eggs/IVF? Yup.
Well, to be fair, men won't understand the pain of childbearing, considering they will never experience it. There's a difference between "understanding" and "actually experiencing"
Edit: So, apparently men do know what childbearing feels like, and commenting on them feeling or not feeling a certain type of pain is a matter of intelligence. Ok then. To say that men don't understand is an insult to their intelligence.
Is IVF with donated eggs something you may want to do in the future? Fiance and I have been talking about it. We're still in discussion re: future spawn.
I'm in a similar position with the no children thing. I've got no Fallopian tubes but I've still got eggs so IVF is an option. I'm more interested in the actual trajectory of your menopause. How are your hormones after menopause? Is it the same symptoms as going through menopause later in life: hot flushes, hormonal hairs etc? I think I already talked about my symptoms before, but I'll recap :)
They were vague and obviously as a teen, I didn't correlate them to menopause. I had temperature fluctuations (both hot flashes and "cold flashes", that would happen within minutes of eachother. I would also get headaches, and I was irritable a lot.
I have normal female hair distribution. My body hair is actually finer and sparser than a lot of my friends'; some of them express jealousy that I don't have to shave my legs as often as they do.
I know guys from 16-26 are usually pretty lax with birth control measures. Did knowing you weren't going to get pregnant lead you to a more or less relaxed attitude towards condoms etc ? I was pretty selective when it came to having sex. Condoms were always worn with new partners. Some partners knew about my condition, some didn't. One person was so brash as to say that we didn't need condoms because "what were we trying to prevent?" I responded "Chlamydia" and then put my shirt back on. I don't have sex with dumbasses, thanks.
My fiance and I have not used condoms in years (we've been dating for 4 years). We were both tested for STD's and when we were both confirmed disease free, we stopped buying them.
Did you ever want to have kids? I never did, not even from being a child myself: I spend a lot of time "excusing" myself for not being normal. I never wanted to have kids until very recently. When I first started having sex, I actually considered myself lucky that I didn't have to worry about pregnancy.
"I already went through menopause I promise!" Sexiest thing a woman can say, right? ;-)
I actually envy you...I don't want kids and I hate having period. It always hurt so much and it makes me feel I'm disgusting. There are birth control methods that prevent monthly periods. If you're truly serious, talk to a doctor about it.
Do experience any side effects from this? Well, I don't have periods anymore, except for a couple times a year (because of my hormone replacement therapy). I'm at a higher risk for osteoporosis and heart disease (estrogen protects the heart and bones). I'm at a higher risk for breast cancer and DVTs.
I keep active though and take vitamin supplements and hormones.
I think there are more social side effects from this than anything. I'm not ashamed of my infertility, but the way that people act when I tell them, you would think that I'm a circus freak.
So, is the hormone replacement therapy just to help stave off some of these potential health issues? Yup, it "keeps me young", as it were. It also helps with sexual function too. Without estrogen, you get decreased libido, vaginal atrophy, vaginal dryness, breast atrophy/loss of elasticity...
I would like to stave off all of these things as long as possible.
My daughter has kelmans syndrome and has a lot of the same symptoms and has to take HRT as well as calcium etc. Only difference is she may be able to get pregnant with a lot of help from doctors. Would you be able to get pregnant with egg donation? Yes, egg donation is the only way I can get pregnant. I have no eggs.
I know the situation is sorta unfortunate but HEY no periods and you save tons on birth control! I think the savings kinda cancel out considering the amount of money I will have to spend if i want to adopt/use donor eggs.
If you get an egg donation and carry to term, will you be able to breast feed if you chose? Or will your menopause prevent the hormones needed to create the milk? Yup. The hormone(s) that stimulate milk production and release are not affected by my problem.
What are your feelings on other women's PMS? I had regular periods for two years before my diagnosis, and I would definitely get PMS. Bad cramps, couldn't button my jeans, thoughts that nobody had it worse than me... the whole nine yards. I sympathize with girls who have to put up with shitty periods once a month.
I'm also in the medical field and I've seen some pretty messed up stuff in regards to periods. In those times, I'm grateful that I dodged that bullet.
But, like everyone, there are times where I want to tell certain women to stop being whiny cunts. Sometimes their complaints aren't justified and they need to shut the hell up. I try to save these feelings for very special cases though.
Did you go through all of the menopausal symptoms during this period? Because I went through it as such a young age, my body was still growing while my ovaries were giving up. My symptoms were weird as a result.
My heat and cold tolerance was beserk; one minute, I'd be freezing and the next, I'd be sweating through my clothes (surprisingly I was never worked up for thyroid problems). I was irritable, but my family chalked that up to me being a teenager.
Technically, if I wasn't on hormone replacement therapy, I'd have other symptoms like vaginal atrophy and dryness, but that's been avoided. Gross story: my gyno said if he didn't know I had my condition, he never would have known based on how my vag looks.
vaginal atrophy and dryness. As a man, that sounds like the stuff nightmares are made of. I want to slit my wrists when I start to chafe for 20 mins. As a woman, it also sounds like nightmares. I guess that's why KY exists though?
Male gyno? My current one? Yes. Elderly male gyno. Fantastic doctor.
So do you still get hormonal since you're taking hormones? Like the irritability and mood swings. I get irritable as much as the next person, but as I'm on a constant dose of medication, there are no hormone level changes that would be the cause of such irritability.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm sometimes a raging bitch for the sake of being a raging bitch.
How did going through menopause so early effect your high school life? It didn't have much of an effect. I didn't tell anyone about my diagnosis until college, because back in high school, I was ashamed of it.
I also didn't lose my virginity until college, so there was no reason to tell anyone about it in high school.
I do remember glancing at the pregnant classmates at my school and feeling the slightest tinge of anger at how much they took their fertility for granted. I still get that tinge seldomly, especially when I was doing an OB/GYN rotation in an inner city hospital and there would be women with 9 pregnancies and custody of only 2...at the age of 23. But that's another topic.
Do you not have eggs or just Won't release them? That's kind of a complicated answer without getting too medical. Women have a crapton of immature cells that eventually become eggs, and every month, one of them matures and literally explodes out of the ovary. Menopause means that these immature cell thingies don't mature enough to explode out--the ovary stops responding to hormones and stops making its own hormones.
This is what happened to me. I probably have some immature gamete pre-egg like things, but my ovaries have zero response to the hormones that signal for their development. Exactly the same as a 60 year old post menopausal woman.
(I'm currently studying/procrastinating for my developmental biology exam so I understood all of that. Thanks for helping me study! :D) No problem, babe. Maybe we can study some anatomy later....
Has this affected your sex drive drastically? If so, in which way? My sex drive would be affected if I weren't on hormone replacement. Symptoms of menopause include decreased sex drive, vaginal dryness, etc. But since I'm on hormones, it counteracts those symptoms, and I have the same urge/response as any other girl my age.
The point is, my fiance has zero complaints ;-)
Do you still what kids? Like do you want to adopt? I was adamantly against having kids for most of my life. When I was diagnosed, I actually justified it by telling myself at least it was happening to me and not someone who felt a life long calling to be a mother.
Recently, I've been feeling a bit of a change. My fiance wants kids, and we've been discussing the options of adoption vs foster kids vs donor eggs. We'll probably end up being parents, one way or the other.
So you could still carry a child in your uterus? Yes, with an egg donation, and sperm that I imagine comes from a turkey baster.
Judging by what you said in a different comment about gamete maturation I wouldn't be entirely surprised if someone eventually comes up with a way to safely remove some immature cells, mature the gametes outside of the body, do IVF, and then implant them. I don't know about that. That's a molecular level theory, which is not my forte. Maybe there's a molecular biologist/geneticist/bioengineer around that can explain.
Wouldn't putting you on birth control be a more efficient way to give you estrogen? Maybe cheaper than hormone therapy? Not necessarily. The only difference between the meds I take and birth control is the dosage. I'm actually on a lower dose of estrogen than women who take it for birth control. I also take medroxyprogesterone for uterine protection.
My copay for my meds every month is 4 bucks. (in the US)
I'm not entirely sure how this works, and I may sound like an idiot, but isnt there a say for women to have eggs extracted and frozen like semen? If so, why didn't you just do this? Unless the prognosis is genetic or something, then I would understand. I guess if I could invent a time machine, I could extract them from my 14 year old self, but I don't have eggs at this point to extract. The times when eggs are extracted, drugs are used to induce ovulation and these eggs are then harvested. Ovulatory drugs would not work on me.
Think of it exactly like menopause, because that's what it is. The difference is, I was only fertile for 2 years. Usually women get 40 years.
So, there is absolutely no way for you to have kids with your genes? Is this a really unique condition, if not, is medical research going on in this area? It's not a genetic problem; it's a problem with my ovaries being unresponsive to the hormone that tells them to get their shit together and make some eggs.
It affects 1% of women under 40 and 0.1% of women under 30, according to wikipedia. I have seen 4 different gynos in my life from all of the moves I have made thus far, and all 4 were surprised to have a patient so young with premature ovarian failure.
The gyno I see now specializes in post menopausal health and he's very interested in people with my condition. He's a wealth of knowledge for preventive care and he says that treatment for it will probably change in the next 15-20 years (instead of oral medications, it will be a different method).
While this was a serious answer throughout, I couldn't help but imagine a cartoon brain telling cartoon ovaries to "get their shit together and make some eggs." I laughed obnoxiously. I'll leave now. Sometimes I'm too snarky for my own good :)
Is this something that you got kind of used to quickly or did it stick in your head for awhile and make you feel uncomfortable going to school? It was sort of a unique situation in that I found on Sept 11. The country was in shock for a few months, and I displaced all of my shock from my diagnosis onto the tragedy in NYC.
But there were times that I thought about my diagnosis, especially when I'd see a pregnant classmate in the halls. How she could be so flippant with her fertility while mine was stolen from me... It was irrational, but I was 16. I was a mess of irrationality back then.
Any idea how common this is? I never heard of it happening before this so I didn't even know it was possible. Wikipedia says 1% of women below 40 and 0.1% of women below 30.
You are the 0.1% You get an internet cookie for making me laugh.
Really rare wow. Was it ever an issue? Such as a BF hated the fact that you couldn't have kids? Never. Or if there was disdain, I was never made aware of it. I guess it was never an issue because most 18-25 year old men aren't thinking about children. I never dated anyone that I've had the "are we having kids" talk with... that is, until the guy that I'm currently engaged to.
If you don't mind my asking a personal question, but do you have a boyfriend/significant other, how did they react when you first informed them? I have a fiance. We were friends for a year before we dated. Sometime during that year, I shared this little factoid. I don't really remember the conversation. It has never affected our relationship, except for the part where we don't use condoms/worry about pregnancy. :)
I heard that early onset of menopause increases your risk of osteoporosis. I'm a tech who operates a bone densitometry machine and I ask patients about early menopause all the time. Has your doctor mentioned this to you? My dad, ironically enough, was doing osteoporosis research even before my diagnosis. I participated in medical studies since the age of 10 to help researchers understand bone growth through the lifespan. There are yearly scans of me starting at 10. It's interesting to see that during the time when I was symptomatic but before diagnosis, my spine density plummeted in relation to my peers. I was osteopenic. But now, right back on track!
But no, no docs have ever recommended it to me. I guess I'm just lucky that I had some extra free technology at my fingertips :)
I'm 16 right now and I haven't had a natural (brought on without some form of meds) period since November 2010. I got my FSH levels checked and all just to see because that came a huge concern of mine x.x. Everything came out normal, but my doctors can't figure out any reason why I don't have them :/. I guess my question is who originally thought it might be menopause? *edit: I accidentally a letter. Well, in my case, my FSH was elevated, so that solved the mystery. In your case, have they also done a karyotype, thyroid studies, and prolactin levels?
Why was your mom crying? I mean, of course, no one wants their child to suffer, but was she more upset about the diagnosis or was it more like, "I won't have grandbabies!" Has your mom been supportive through this? People cry during "sad" news. She was heartbroken for me. Even though at that time, I was numb to the diagnosis, she had envisioned a future for me that involved being a successful careerwoman and mom. She lost that vision that night.
My entire family has been supportive of my diagnosis. My mom and my aunts are very close, so of course the news spread like wildfire. Nobody in my family has ever been anything but cool with it.
Honestly... Do you ever feel bad? I feel bad the same way everyone feels bad. Sometimes I have a bad day. 99.9% of the time, it has nothing to do with my fertility status.
Because.. don't. And if you do let me know and I will message you a random fact that will brighten your day (As will every person that comments about this). Thank you for being a caring person though. You're my cuppycake gumdrop.
I will chime in with how wonderfully spoken you are and how charming your responses have been. I would bet you're an amazing person to be around. Best to you and your fiancé. Hormones kept me in the norm. Looking at me, you would never know I'm infertile.
Do you have a problem with hair growth in places its not suppose to be? Such as your face etc? If not, is it because you take hormones? I don't. That's a low estrogen/high testosterone problem. I have never been low on estrogen long enough for those kind of effects to happen.
Additionally, no post menopausal member of my family has problems with hair growth, so I guess in that respect, I'm lucky genetically.
Link to imgur.com
So you feel superior that you don't feel superior like those other women? Do you feel superior that I don't feel superior to the women who feel superior?
When you found out you were going through menopause, did you save any eggs or try to get pregnant while you still had the chance, or did you decide to accept the fact you wouldn't be able to have kids when this was over? Was never on TV for this. I was however, on a locally produced Reading Rainbow-like segment when I was 9. Be jealous guys.
Were you on TV? I saw a tv story about a situation like this a number of years ago. Already went through menopause when I was diagnosed, so no eggs could be harvested. I was 13/14 when I was fertile, so I never tried to get pregnant (especially since I didn't give up the V card until college)
From what I've read of your comments on this post, you seem like a real down-to-earth and reasonable woman. I totally respect that, being a (I like to think) reasonable woman, myself. Considering your circumstances, what are your biggest fears for your future? Biggest fears: not graduating medical school (irrational fear), not paying back student debt, losing family/friends to freak accidents, planning a wedding, those bugs that basically become a liquid when you squish them...
Consequences of my infertility are pretty low on my worry list. I just take my pills everyday, and try to stay in shape by running and lifting. The monetary issues of procreation/adoption will become a worry when they become a worry, but right now, I don't let it consume my life.
Did you buy a wiener dog named shawntsy? I own no dogs, weiner or otherwise.
What age were you when you started having periods? 13.
Menopause isn't caused by running out of eggs. The eggs just stop maturing and leaving the ovaries. But that's interesting. I've never heard of someone so young entering menopause before. I know. It's just easier to say "ran out of eggs" than have to explain meiosis and the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal system ;-)
For proof you could have unprotected sex with every fertile redditor. you'd also get a new AMA out of it. As long as we screen out the ones under 18 and with venereal diseases, you got yourself a deal, sir (or ma'am!)
Guys, guys, we all can have a turn. Let's just form a nice single file line right behind me. Goodness, what a long line for sexy times with a girl who hasn't even posted a picture! But if you guys wanna, who am I to turn you down?
Turned 18 yesterday, IM SO IN! Me + you = us <3.
If you live in the pacific northwest, I'd like to sign up. Sincerely, LoneWolf-Alpha- East of the Mississippi, sorry.
I got super-sperm. I will give u a baby. Not really in the market right now for a baby, but thanks for the offer!
Best post-menopause tits I've seen. Horray for you and your fiance. Before I was on hormone replacement, I was sitting in B territory. My breasts were not receiving the estrogen they needed to reach their full potential. Six months after being on hormones, I grew to a 34DD, the size I am today. I don't like it much. Wish I was back wearing a B.
According to your picture you also have an enlarged left eye. I am a professional flaw spotter. AmA. How much does a professional flaw spotter make? Did you also notice my horribly yellow circular face too? If not, you're probably not good at your job. :)
Pics. proof. or doctors report. Link to imgur.com
Best I got right now.
Sept 11, 2001. Rough day all around. My mom was crying all that evening because of my diagnosis. I just sat in my room and watched the news on TV, avoiding the rest of the family.
I think he's talking about his own novelty account. No worries. :) Oh! Well then! Everyone ignore my asshattery! Move along, nothing to see here.
My mom went through the same thing-not until her thirties though. Hopefully you aren't as bitter and angry at the world as her. Without knowing her, I'd probably say I'm not as bitter or angry.
I have had 99% of my reproductive life to deal with this diagnosis; it's more a part of who I am now than something I have to worry about.
But I will admit, I'm a sarcastic asshole. I'm just jovial about it.
Portland, Or. Seems to be a west coast thing.... I live in one of the Eastern Time Zone states. I guess it's a ubiquitous American phrase now...
Wow! That seems really awesome. No periods and no need for birth control. You pulled the jackpot lady! I think given my ambivalent attitude toward personal procreation, it could be construed from time to time as "awesome", but I think that there are many women out there who would be devastated for the rest of their lives if they could not pass on their own genetic material.
I wouldn't really call it a jackpot, per se, but maybe a "fortunately benign condition".
I was devastated when my husband and I couldn't have kids naturally. Less because I wanted to pass on my genes, and more because we wanted kids and having them would cost us thousands. On the upside, we never have to worry about unplanned pregnancies! Honestly, that's my main issue at this point in my life. It costs so much damn money to have kids in any other way except naturally.
But I will deal with those issues when the time comes.
That's pretty much what we did. In the end we spent about $6-7k to get pregnant (I'm 9 weeks today) and that's really nothing in the grand scheme of infertility+having kids. I count us lucky at this point, could've been worse. Congratulations! Hope your pregnancy is boring and predictable with zero complications :)
Hella NorCal. Grats on getting through that at 16. Could have done an MTV spin off.. I'm not from NorCal, actually... Eastern Time Zone FTW!
Would it happen to be your name is Pia? That's not my name. That's not my name.
This AMA is truly one for the ages. Do you have a shaved or hairy pussy? Thank you for sharing with the community. I keep up with current grooming trends.
What if the hormones you're on produce a strong wish for anal love? I know this story is stupid, but it's perfectly fappable! Seriously though, the hormones I'm on is the same shit as the stuff in birth control. It doesn't produce "strong wishes", but it does protect my bones!
Last updated: 2012-04-19 07:20 UTC
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