Spy boy wanking

level 1. 165 points · 2 years ... My most plausible reason is that they are college students, so they were probably a kid at the time of the battle of New York. If that's the case, they know Loki as an armored villain with a horned helmet and a staff, not as a handsome man with a black suit. level 2. 85 points · 2 years ago. The surprise bills come anyway The New York Times ... Book any hotel in one upscale brand for 20,000 points or less this fall The Points Guy ... when some fans took to following the group around ... Time for a fresh start, first post on a new account! Close. 285. Posted by 10 months ago. Archived. Long time reddit introvert in all the meme subreddits. Time for a fresh start, first post on a new account! >Hires all new innovation in the country they can get their hands on. If you're straight out of school and can innovate you're hired. >Owns so many patents that it's basically impossible to build a phone without infringing on their stuff. >Dominates the market for years. >Early 2000s world market starts slowly gearing towards more youthful ... Bed 4 is a patient with new chest pain and ST elevation. Cath lab is ready to take her as soon as you get an IV. ... My goodness, you took me right there. I even had that initial sinking feeling in my gut for a second. level 2. RN ... Tubed a otherwise-healthy 40 year old guy with no underlying health conditions last night. Apr 15, 2018 - https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=423635611439916 This text is machine-read, and may contain errors. Check the original document to verify accuracy.original document to verify accuracy. Orlando Bloom recently spoke to THR about his career and his new film, Retaliation, where he plays something very much other than the handsome leading man he was known for a couple of decades ago ...

2020.08.23 16:02 MansA23Augl Han-dsome G-uy Took Po-rn New Level

Han-dsome G-uy Took Po-rn New Level Watch it Here >>>>>>>>>> 🔴►🔴► Play
Family Guy Discovers Porn Family Guy Doing Porn Family Guy Drawn Porn Family Guy English Porn Family Guy European Porn Family Guy Family Porn Family Guy Gay Porn Videos Family Guy Hard Porn Family Guy Having Porn Family Guy Hentai Porn Pics Family Guy Hentai Porn Videos Family Guy Hentia Porn Family Guy Incest Porn Comics Family Guy Internet Porn Episode Family Guy Isabella Porn Family Guy Jewish Porn Family Guy Lesbian Porn Comics Family Guy Live Action Porn Family Guy Live Porn Family Guy Lois Chris Porn Family Guy Lois Lesbian Porn Family Guy Lois Naked Porn Family Guy Lois Porn Game Family Guy Lois Porn Gif Family Guy Lois Porn Pics Family Guy Lois Porn Pictures Family Guy Lois Porn Video Family Guy Lois Porn Videos Family Guy Lois Sex Porn Family Guy Meg and Quagmire Porn Family Guy Meg Griffin Porn Family Guy Meg Porn Pics Family Guy Meg Porn Pictures Family Guy Meg Porn Videos Family Guy Mobile Porn Family Guy Mrs Lockhart Porn Family Guy Nude Porn Family Guy Parody Porn Videos Family Guy Peter Porn Family Guy Porn Art Family Guy Porn Blog Family Guy Porn Brian and Stewie Family Guy Porn Brian Lois Family Guy Porn Brian X Lois Family Guy Porn Chris and Meg Family Guy Porn Clips Family Guy Porn Comic Story Family Guy Porn Comics Lois and Chris Family Guy Porn Consuela Family Guy Porn Diane Family Guy Porn Download Family Guy Porn Dvd Family Guy Porn Episode Family Guy Porn Fakes Family Guy Porn Film Family Guy Porn Full Family Guy Porn Lois and Bonnie Family Guy Porn Lois and Peter Family Guy Porn Mag Family Guy Porn Meg Chris Family Guy Porn Nude Family Guy Porn Page Family Guy Porn Page 1 Family Guy Porn Parody Cast Family Guy Porn Parody Full Family Guy Porn Peter and Lois Family Guy Porn Peter Fucks Meg Family Guy Porn Pics Comics Family Guy Porn Pics Meg Family Guy Porn Pix Family Guy Porn Porn Family Guy Porn Prostitute Lois Family Guy Porn Redtube Family Guy Porn Rule 34 Family Guy Porn Site Family Guy Porn Spoof Family Guy Porn Star Family Guy Porn Stewie and Lois Family Guy Porn Torrent Family Guy Porn Tram Pararam Family Guy Porn Video Meg Family Guy Porn Videos Meg Family Guy Porn Website Family Guy Porn Xnxx Family Guy Porn Youtube Family Guy Sex Porn Pics Family Guy Sex Porn Videos Family Guy Star Wars Porn Family Guy Toon Porn Pics Family Guy Uncensored Porn Famous Guy Porn Famous Guys Porn Fat Black Girl White Guy Porn Fat Girl Skinny Guy Porn Fat Guy and Girl Porn Fat Guy Hot Chick Porn Fat Guy Porn Pics Fat Guy Porn Videos Fat Guy Sex Porn Fat Guys Having Sex Porn Fat Mexican Guy Porn Fat Straight Guy Porn Fem Guy Porn Finger Guys Ass Porn Fit Guys Gay Porn Five Guys One Girl Porn Francine Family Guy Porn Frat Guys Gay Porn Free Bi Guy Porn Free Black Girl on White Guy Porn Free Black Guy White Girl Porn Free Family Guy Cartoon Porn Videos Free Family Guy Gay Porn Free Family Guy Porn Comics Free Family Guy Porn Games Free Family Guy Porn Movies Free Family Guy Porn Pics Free Family Guy Porn Pictures Free Family Guy Toon Porn Free Fat Guy Gay Porn Free Gay Family Guy Porn Free Gay Guy Mobile Porn Free Gay Guy Porn Tube Free Gay Guys Porn Tube Free Gay Guys Porn Videos Free Gay Porn College Guys Free Gay Porn Hairy Guys Free Gay Porn Hot Guys Free Gay Porn Young Guys Free Guy and Girl Porn Free Guy Sex Porn Free Guys Jacking Off Porn Free Hairy Guy Porn Free Mobile Family Guy Porn Free Porn 2 Girls and a Guy Free Porn 3 Girls 1 Guy Free Porn 3 Guys 1 Girl Free Porn Black Guy White Girl Free Porn Fat Guy Free Porn Games Family Guy Free Porn Guy Eating Girl Out Free Porn Guy Fingering Girl Free Porn Guy Jerking Off Free Porn Guys Cumming Free Porn Guys Jerking Off Free Porn Guys Masterbating Free Porn Guys Masturbating Free Porn Guys Pissing Free Porn Guys Wanking Free Porn Guys With Big Dicks Free Porn Strapon Guy Free Porn Three Girls One Guy Free Porn Two Girls and a Guy Free Porn Two Guys and a Girl Free Porn Two Guys and Girl Free Porn Two Guys and One Girl Free Shemale Fucks Guy Porn Free Straight Guys Do Gay Porn Free Strapon Guy Porn Free Toon Porn Family Guy Free Tranny Fucks Guy Porn Free Two Girls One Guy Porn Free Young Guy Porn French Guy Porn Fuck Guy Porn Funny Family Guy Porn Gay and Guy Porn Gay and Straight Guy Porn Gay Chubby Guys Porn Gay Country Guy Porn Gay Cute Guy Porn Gay Emo Guy Porn Gay Family Guy Porn Pics Gay Family Guy Porn Videos Gay Frat Guys Porn Gay Guy Cartoon Porn Gay Guy Getting Raped Porn Gay Guy Porn Pictures Gay Guy Porn Tumblr Gay Guy Raped Porn Gay Guy Rapes Straight Guy Porn Gay Guy Seduces Straight Guy Porn Gay Guy Sex Porn Gay Guy Straight Girl Porn Gay Guy With Straight Guy Porn Gay Guys and a Girl Porn Gay Guys Caught Porn Gay Guys Doing Porn Gay Guys Fucking Porn Gay Guys Grinding Porn Gay Guys Having Porn Gay Guys Having Sex Porn Gay Guys Making Love Porn Gay Guys Making Out Porn Gay Guys Porn Com Gay Guys Porn Movies Gay Guys Porn Pictures Gay Guys Watch Straight Porn Gay Indian Guys Porn Gay Porn 4 Straight Guys Gay Porn Cable Guy Gay Porn Drunk Guys Gay Porn Guys Gone Wild Gay Porn Guys in Sweatpants Gay Porn Teen Guys Gay Teen Guy Porn Gay White Guy Porn German Guy Porn Getting Into Porn as a Guy Giant Guy Porn Ginger Guy Gay Porn Girl Drugs Guy Porn Girl Fingering Guys Ass Porn Girl Fisting Guy Porn Girl Forces Guy to Have Sex Porn Girl Fucks Guy in Ass Porn Girl Fucks Guy With Strapon Porn Girl Massaging Guy Porn Girl on Girl and Guy Porn Girl on Top of Guy Porn Girl Rapes a Guy Porn Girl Strapon Guy Porn Girl Takes Guys Virginity Porn Girl With Guy Porn Girls 1 Guy Porn Girls and One Guy Porn Girls Humping Guys Porn Girls Pegging Guys Porn Girls Pick Up Guys Porn Girls Rimming Guys Porn Girls Watching Guys Jerk Off Porn Good Family Guy Porn Goth Guy Porn Granny and Young Guy Porn Greek Guy Porn Grinding on a Guy Porn Guy and Gay Porn Guy and Girl Having Sex Porn Guy and Shemale Porn Guy Ass Porn Guy Butt Porn Guy Cam Porn Guy Cant Cum Porn Guy Caught Watching Porn Guy Cock Porn Guy Code Life Without Porn Guy Code Porn Guy Cums Inside Girl Porn Guy Dasilva Porn Guy Dick Porn Guy Eating Out a Girl Porn Guy Edging Porn Guy Family Porn Guy Fingering Porn Guy Fingering Pussy Porn Guy Forced Gay Porn Guy Forced to Cum Porn Guy Fucks Girl Hard Porn Guy Fucks Mare Porn Guy Fucks Pig Porn Guy Fucks Shemale Porn Guy Gets a Boner Porn Guy Gives Girl Massage Porn Guy Hard Porn Guy Has 2 Dicks Porn Guy Licking Girl Porn Guy Licking Pussy Free Porn Guy Loses Virginity to Porn Star Guy Losing His Virginity Porn Guy Made of Porn Guy Massages Girl Porn Guy Masturbating Watching Porn Guy Masturbating While Watching Porn Guy N Girl Porn Guy on Guy Anime Porn Guy on Guy Porn Pics Guy on Guy Porn Videos Guy Parker Gay Porn Guy Porn Clip Guy Porn Com Guy Porn for Women Guy Porn Pictures Guy Porn Tumblr Guy Raped by Girl Porn Guy Raped by Guy Porn Guy Raped Gay Porn Guy Rapes Boy Porn Guy Rapes Teen Porn Guy Raping a Girl Porn Guy Scat Porn Guy Sex Porn Video Guy Sex Toy Porn Guy Shares Girlfriend Porn Guy Slave Porn Guy Sleeping Gay Porn Guy Spy Porn Guy Sterling Gay Porn Guy Stripping Porn Guy Sucking Boobs Porn Guy Sucking Own Dick Porn Guy Sucks His Own Cock Porn Guy Tied Porn Guy Touching Girl Porn Guy Toy Porn Guy Wanking Porn Guy Watching Porn in Lecture Guy Wearing Panties Porn Guy With 2 Penis Porn Guy With a Vagina Porn Guy With Huge Balls Porn Guy With Two Penis Porn Guy X Guy Porn Guy Xxx Porn Guys Addicted to Porn Guys Being Raped Porn Guys Circle Jerk Porn Guys Dry Humping Porn Guys Eating Cum Porn Guys Eating Their Own Cum Porn Guys First Time Gay Porn Guys for Matures Porn Guys Fucking Guys Free Porn Guys Get Fucked Porn Guys Gone Wild Gay Porn Guys Having Porn Guys Having Sex Porn Guys Humping Porn Guys in Jockstraps Porn Guys in Pantyhose Porn Guys in Porn Guys in Shower Porn Guys in Suits Gay Porn Guys in Thongs Porn Guys Jacking Off Free Porn Guys Penis Porn Guys Porn Tube Guys Run Train on Girl Porn Guys Smoking Porn Guys Sucking Cock Porn Guys Swallowing Cum Porn Guys That Watch Porn Guys Underwear Porn Guys Using Sex Toys Porn Guys Watching Gay Porn Guys Watching Porn Tumblr Guys With Abs Porn Guys With Beards Porn Guys With Big Balls Porn Guys With Boners Porn Guys With Huge Cocks Porn Guys With Huge Dicks Porn Guys With Small Dicks Porn Guys With Toys Porn Guys Wrestling Porn Hairy Black Guy Porn Hairy Porn Guys Handcuffed Guy Porn Handsome Guy Gay Porn Hard Core Guy Porn He's Not the Same Guy I Married Porn Hes Not the Same Guy I Married Porn High School Guys Porn Homeless Guy Porn Horny Gay Guys Porn Hot Black Girl and White Guy Porn Hot Gay Black Guy Porn Hot Gay Black Guys Porn Hot Gay Porn Guys Hot Girl and Guy Porn Hot Girl and Hot Guy Porn Hot Guy and Hot Girl Porn Hot Guy Big Dick Porn Hot Guy Hot Girl Porn Hot Guy Porn Free Hot Guy Porn Stars Hot Guy Porn Straight Hot Guy Watching Porn Hot Guys Doing Gay Porn Hot Guys Doing Porn Hot Guys Kissing Porn Hot Guys Making Out Porn Hot Guys on Porn Hot Guys Porn Free Hot Guys Porn Movies Hot Guys Porn Pics Hot Guys With Big Dicks Porn Hot Indian Guys Porn Hot Italian Guy Porn Hot Latino Guy Porn Hot Mexican Guy Porn Hot Muscle Guy Porn Hot Naked Guys Porn Hot Older Guy Porn Hot Sexy Guy Porn Hot Straight Guys Gay Porn Hot Young Guy Porn Hottest Guy Porn Stars How Do Guys in Porn Cum So Much How Do Guys Last So Long in Porn How Do Porn Guys Cum So Much


https://preview.redd.it/ay0yo0a8zri51.jpg?width=259&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e814980de1a8b17339f410db4066b291b2d0dbe
submitted by MansA23Augl to u/MansA23Augl [link] [comments]


2020.08.20 18:14 MansA20Augl Bi-g Ti-ts Ma-ture All Po-rn Here

Bi-g Ti-ts Ma-ture All Po-rn Here Watch it Here >>>>>>>>>> 🔴►🔴► Play
Mature Rape Porn Tube Mature Real Estate Porn Mature Red Hair Porn Mature Russian Porn Videos Mature Sissy Porn Mature Slap Porn Mature Spreading Porn Mature Spy Cam Porn Mature Stocking Porn Tube Mature Surprise Porn Mature Teen Gay Porn Mature Teen Porn Tube Mature Thick Women Porn Mature Treesome Porn Mature Tumblr Porn Mature Tv Porn Mature Uk Wife Porn Mature Vagina Porn Mature Vids Porn Mature Wife Amature Porn Mature Wife Threesome Porn Mature Women Bbc Porn Mature Women Over 50 Porn Mature Women Porn Films Mature Women Threesome Porn Mature Xhamster Porn Mature Xnxx Porn Mature Young Sex Porn Naked Mature Women Porn Pictures Naughty Mature Porn Nude Mature Porn Tube Old Mature Free Porn Porn Chinese Mature Porn Classic Mature Porn Dp Mature Porn Latina Mature Porn Mature Bi Porn Mature Brunette Porn Mature Fisting Porn Mature New Porn Mature Sites Porn Mature Tease Porn Old Mature Porn Pregnant Mature Porn Squirt Mature Porn Tube Mature Anal Porn Wife Mature Porn Young and Mature Porn Young Mature Pretty Mature Porn Tube Pure Mature Sex Porn Real Mature Porn Movies Russian Mature Milf Porn Russian Mature Mom Porn Secret Mature Porn Senior Mature Porn Skinny Mature Lesbian Porn Skinny Mature Porn Movies Squirt Porn Mature Thin Mature Porn Top 20 Mature Porn Stars Upskirt Mature Porn Very Mature Granny Porn Very Mature Porn Videos Vintage Hairy Mature Porn Www Mature Granny Porn Com Www Mature Milf Porn Com Amateur Mature Interracial Porn Amateur Mature Lingerie Porn Amateur Mature Tube Porn Amature Mature Women Porn Amber Lynn Mature Porn Asian Mature Porn Com Ass Mature Porn Average Mature Porn Beach Porn Mature Best Asian Mature Porn Best German Mature Porn Best Mature in Porn Big Boobs Porn Mature Big Butt Mature Porn Videos Black Thick Mature Porn British Amateur Mature Porn British Mature Anal Porn British Mature Porn Sites British Mature Stocking Porn Busty Mature Porn Tube Chinese Mature Porn Pics Christmas Mature Porn Chubby Mature Porn Videos Compilation Mature Porn Cool Mature Porn Creampie Porn Mature Dress Mature Porn Eating Mature Pussy Porn English Mature Porn Tube Fat Mature Wife Porn Flashing Mature Porn Free Adult Mature Porn Movies Free Amateur Mature Porn Videos Free Asian Mature Porn Videos Free Beautiful Mature Porn Free Black Mature Bbw Porn Free Curvy Mature Porn Free Erotic Mature Porn Free Mature Anal Porn Videos Free Mature Bdsm Porn Free Mature Beach Porn Free Mature Big Boobs Porn Free Mature Big Tit Porn Videos Free Mature Blowjob Porn Free Mature Creampie Porn Free Mature Dp Porn Free Mature Ebony Porn Pics Free Mature Femdom Porn Free Mature Hot Porn Free Mature Lesbian Porn Videos Free Mature Nl Porn Free Mature Nurse Porn Free Mature Pantyhose Porn Free Mature Porn Dvds Free Mature Porn Pic Gallery Free Mature Porn Trailer Free Mature Women Porn Pictures Free Online Mature Porn Videos Free Outdoor Mature Porn Free Porn Amature Mature Free Porn Mature Big Boobs Free Porn Mature Seduction Free Rough Mature Porn Free Skinny Mature Porn Free Threesome Mature Porn French Mature Amateur Porn French Porn Mature Fuck Mature Porn Tube Gay Mature Bareback Porn Gay Mature Men Porn Videos Ginger Mature Porn Hairy Mature Blonde Porn Hairy Mature Porn Gallery Hairy Mature Porn Movies Hard Mature Porn Hd Mature Gay Porn Hd Mature Porn Pics Hd Porn Pure Mature Hijab Mature Porn Homegrown Mature Porn Homemade British Mature Porn Homemade Mature Milf Porn Hood Mature Porn Hot Asian Mature Porn Hot Mature Men Porn Hq Mature Porn Videos Huge Mature Boobs Porn Hungarian Mature Porn Ideal Mature Porn Italian Mature Porn Movie Italian Porn Mature Japanese Mature Rape Porn Julia Ann Mature Porn Korean Mature Porn Tube Lesbian Seduction Mature Porn Lisa Ann Mature Porn Massage Mature Porn Mature 3some Porn Mature 50 Year Old Porn Mature 50s Porn Mature Amater Porn Mature Amateur Bbw Porn Mature Anal Porn Pictures Mature and Boy Free Porn Mature and Boy Porn Pics Mature and Boy Porn Pictures Mature Asian Women Porn Pics Mature Ass Licking Porn Mature Ass Porn Movies Mature Babes Porn Pics Mature Bar Porn Mature Bbw Hairy Porn Mature Bbw Porn Pictures Mature Bi Couple Porn Mature Big Breast Porn Mature Big Dick Porn Mature Black Lady Porn Mature Black Moms Porn Pics Mature Blonde Porn Tube Mature Business Woman Porn Mature Camping Porn Mature Cfnm Porn Mature Chat Porn Mature Clit Porn Mature College Porn Mature Condom Porn Mature Cougar Porn Videos Mature Couple Webcam Porn Mature Crempie Porn Mature Crossdresser Porn Pics Mature Cum Eating Porn Mature Destroyed Porn Mature Downblouse Porn Mature Dp Porn Tube Mature Ebony Creampie Porn Mature Elegant Porn Mature Facial Porn Pictures Mature Fart Porn Mature Fat Porn Pictures Mature Fatties Porn Mature First Porn Casting Mature French Porn Movies Mature French Porn Tube Mature French Wife Porn Mature Full Hd Porn Mature Gangbang Porn Tube Mature Gay Porn Sex Mature Gay Seduction Porn Mature German Anal Porn Mature German Porn Stars Mature Granny Porn Galleries Mature Granny Tube Porn Mature Group Porn Movies Mature Group Porn Pictures Mature Group Porn Videos Mature Hairy Pussy Porn Movies Mature Hard Sex Porn Mature Hardcore Porn Movies Mature Hd Free Porn Mature Homemade Anal Porn Mature Homemade Porn Clips Mature Hot Sex Porn Mature Image Porn Mature Interracial Gay Porn Mature Italian Porn Videos Mature Kidnapped Porn Mature Lady Porn Video Mature Lady Young Man Porn Mature Lesbian 69 Porn Mature Lesbian Kissing Porn Mature Lesbian Porn Xxx Mature Lesbian Tube Porn Mature Lingerie Porn Tube Mature Lipstick Porn Mature Lust Porn Mature Mainstream Porn Mature Married Couple Porn Mature Masterbating Porn Mature Mature Porn Mature Mega Porn Mature Milf Ass Porn Mature Milf Porn Sex Mature Mom Porn Photos Mature Mom Sex Porn Mature Nina Porn Mature Nl Porn Tube Mature Old Lesbian Porn Mature Orgasm Porn Videos Mature Pale Porn Mature Panty Porn Movies Mature Pink Porn Mature Pleasure Porn Mature Porn 69 Mature Porn Blog Mature Porn Free Video Hamster Mature Porn Galeries Mature Porn Hand Jobs Mature Porn Home Mature Porn Japan Mature Porn Mpeg Mature Porn Nude Mature Porn Stars Over 50 Mature Porn Videos in Hd Mature Pov Porn Tube Mature Prison Porn Mature Pussy Porn Videos Mature Redhead Bbw Porn Mature Retro Porn Tube Mature School Porn Mature Schoolgirl Porn Mature Sex Porn Galleries Mature Sex Porn Video Mature Sexy Legs Porn Mature Smoking Porn Pics Mature Softcore Porn Mature Solo Free Porn Mature Son Porn Tube Mature Spanish Porn Videos Mature Sport Porn Mature Spreading Porn Pictures Mature Stocking Porn Galleries Mature Strip Tease Porn Mature Thong Porn Mature Trash Porn Mature Tube Porn Hd Mature Tutor Porn Mature Vs Boy Porn Mature Wank Porn Mature Weird Porn Mature Whore Porn Tube Mature Wife Watching Porn Mature Woman and Young Porn Mature Women and Milfs Porn Galleries Mature Women Hardcore Porn Mature Women Porn Hamster Mature Women Porn Images Mature Women Rape Porn Mature Wrestling Porn Mature Xx Porn Melyssa Mature Porn Mexican Mature Porn Videos Milf Mature Porn Pics Milf Mature Porn Pictures Milf Mom Mature Porn Mummy Mature Porn New Mature Porn Clips New Mature Porn Pics Old Mature Couple Porn Old Mature Porn Pics Older Mature Women Porn Pics Online Mature Porn Movies Outdoor Mature Porn Pics Pakistani Mature Porn Piss Mature Porn Porn Forced Mature Porn Hub Mature Women Porn Mature Audition Porn Mature Blond Porn Mature Blow Jobs Porn Mature Old Porn Mature Tumblr Porn Mature Up Porn Mexican Mature Porn Solo Mature Real Mature Milf Porn Real Mature Porn Com Recent Mature Porn Renata Mature Porn Retro Mature Porn Movies Rich Mature Porn Russian Mature Flo Porn Russian Mature Hd Porn Russian Mature Porn Tube Sara Mature Porn Sexiest Mature Porn Stars Sexy Mature Hd Porn Sexy Mature Milf Porn Sexy Mature Mom Porn Sexy Mature Porn Photos Shaved Mature Porn Pics Skinny Mature Free Porn Skype Mature Porn Small Boy Mature Porn Strip Mature Porn Texas Mature Porn Thai Mature Porn Pics The Mature Porn Tranny Porn Mature Uk Mature Amature Porn Very Mature Gay Porn Very Skinny Mature Porn Vintage Mature Porn Tumblr Voyeur Mature Porn Wide Hip Mature Porn Www Porn Com Mature Xxx Mature Porn Movies Xxx Mature Women Porn You Porn Mature Video Yuo Porn Mature 1080p Mature Porn 4k Hd Mature Porn African Black Mature Porn Albanian Mature Porn All Free Mature Porn Amateur Mature Threesome Porn Angry Mature Porn Art Porn Mature Atk Hairy Mature Porn Bbw Mature Porn Pictures Bbw Mature Wife Porn Beautiful Mature Milf Porn Beautiful Mature Porn Movies Beautiful Mature Porn Tube Best Free Porn Mature Big Butt Mature Women Porn Big Mature Booty Porn Big Mature Butt Porn Big Mature Porn Tube Big Pussy Mature Porn Big Tits Mature Porn Pics Black Mature Fat Porn Black Mature Mama Porn Black Mature Women Porn Pics Boy Fuck Mature Porn Brazilian Mature Women Porn British Mature Porn Pics Busty Mature Porn Pictures Chubby Mature Porn Photos Chubby Mature Wife Porn Couple Mature Porn Cute Mature Porn Dirty Mature Women Porn Ebony Mature Mobile Porn


https://preview.redd.it/r33jlav487i51.jpg?width=246&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb0f3302629d60bd19cd2870278a93c65b89b622
submitted by MansA20Augl to u/MansA20Augl [link] [comments]


2020.08.20 16:39 HaulA20Augl Ca-ught With Mo-ms Pan-ties Po-rn New

Ca-ught With Mo-ms Pan-ties Po-rn New Watch it Here >>>>>>>>>> 🔴►🔴► Play
Mom Next Door Porn Pics Mom Old Porn Mom Porn Cum Mom Porn Full Film Mom Porn Hd Xxx Mom Porn Jap Mom Pornstar Porn Mom Pussy Porn Pic Mom Pusy Porn Mom Satin Porn Mom Scat Porn Mom Sex Xxx Porn Mom Sexting Son Porn Mom Sexy Dress Porn Mom Sexy Porn Pics Mom Sexy Porn Video Mom Shower Porn Videos Mom Sleeping Porn Hd Mom Son 3d Porn Comics Mom Son Dating Porn Mom Son Dog Porn Mom Son Full Porn Movie Mom Son Porn Video Hd Mom Son Tales Porn Mom Spandex Porn Mom Squirting Porn Videos Mom Stuck Porn Movies Mom Teen Porn Video Mom Tights Porn Mom Tube Porn Free Mom Virtual Sex Porn Mom Wank Porn Mom Watches Daughter Do Porn Mom Watching Porn Videos Mom With Doll Porn Mom You Porn Com Mom Young Daughter Porn Moms a Whore Porn Moms Do Porn Com Moms for Ethical Behavior Porn Moms Fuck Teens Free Porn Moms Over 50 Porn My Best Mom Porn My Black Mom Porn My Friend Porn Mom My Friends Hot Mom Porn Free My Friends Hot Mom Porn Galleries My Friends Hot Mom Porn Sites My Mom Hot Porn My Moms Boyfriend Porn My Moms Lesbian Friend Porn My Moms Tits Porn Naughty America Mom Porn Movies Naughty Hot Mom Porn Naughty Mom Porn Videos New Black Mom Porn New Mom Porn Hd New Teen Mom Porn Nina Hartley Mom Porn Nude Moms Porn Pics Nylon Porn Mom Nympho Mom Porn Octuplet Mom Porn Old Fat Mom Porn Old Grand Mom Porn Old Hairy Mom Porn Old Mom Porn Pics Orgy Mom Porn Phat Booty Mom Porn Pokemon Lana Mom Porn Porn Big Booty Mom Porn Big Mom Ass Porn Cum Inside Mom Porn Farrah Teen Mom Porn for New Moms Porn for New Moms Book Porn Free Tube Mom Porn Fucking Step Mom Porn Hot Mom Movie Porn Hot Mom Xxx Porn Hungry Mom Porn Mom Amature Porn Mom and Son Alone Porn Mom Asian Porn Mom Bdsm Porn Mom Brazzers Porn Mom Cheating Porn Mom Free Movie Porn Mom Girlfriend Porn Mom Hot Son Porn Mom Orgy Porn Mom Son Homemade Porn Mom Step Porn Mom Teen Boy Porn Mom Teen Son Porn Mom Xxx Hd Porn Movies Full Mom Porn Movies Mature Mom Porn Movies of Step Mom Porn My Hot Mom Porn My Step Mom Porn Nude Mom Porn Orgasm Mom Porn Sex Mom Xxx Porn Star From Teen Mom Porn Star Mom Xxx Porn Teen Boy and Mom Porn Video Xxx Mom Porn Videos Friends Mom Porn Vs Mom Porn Xxx Hot Mom Porn Xxx Step Mom Porn Xxx Video Mom Porn Yoga Mom Pov Step Mom Porn Pretty Mom Porn Videos Psycho Mom Porn Video Raunchy Mom Porn Real Amateur Mom and Son Porn Real Cheating Mom Porn Real Mom and Boy Porn Real Porn Mom Son Rough Porn Mom Russian Mom Hd Porn Russian Mom Porn Movies Russian Old Mom Porn Saggy Mom Porn Sara Jay Porn Mom Sex Japanese Mom Porn Sex Mom Tube Porn Sexy Ebony Mom Porn Sexy Mom Fucking Porn Sexy Mom Mobile Porn Sexy Mom Porn Movies Sexy Mom Xxx Porn Sexy Nude Mom Porn Single Mom Porn Videos Skinny Mom Porn Tube Sloppy Mom Porn Slut Mom Porn Videos Soccer Mom Porn Star Son Rapes Mom Cartoon Porn Southern Mom Porn Step Mom Birthday Porn Step Mom Porn Lesbian Step Mom Porn Tumblr Step Mom Watching Porn Stiflers Mom Porn Stop It Mom Porn Strong Mom Porn Summertime Saga Mom Porn Super Mom Porn Game Sweet Sinner Mom Porn Team Mom Porn Star Teen Boy Fuck Mom Porn Teen Mom 2 Porn Star Teen Mom Abraham Porn Teen Mom Backdoor Porn Teen Mom Farrahs Porn Video Teen Mom Full Porn Video Teen Mom Jenelle Porn Teen Mom Makes Porn Teen Mom Mtv Porn Teen Mom Porn Pics Teen Mom Porn Scandal Teen Mom Porn Xnxx Teen Mom Porn Xxx Teen Mom That Did Porn Thick Ebony Mom Porn Thong Mom Porn Tube Mom Porn Uncensored Japanese Mom Son Porn Vintage Mom Porn Tube Watch Hot Mom Porn Wild Mature Moms Porn Www Old Mom Porn Com X Video Porn Mom Xhamster Mom Porn Videos Xxx Free Porn Mature Moms Xxx Hot Mom Porn Movies Xxx Mom Hot Porn You Porn Moms Teach Yumi Kazama Mom Porn 2 Moms Porn 2c Porn Mom 3d Comic Mom Porn 3some Mom Porn 45 Year Old Mom Porn Addiction Mom Porn Affair With Mom Porn African Mom Porn Pics Aletta Ocean Mom Porn Alexis Fawx Porn Mom Amater Mom Porn Amateur Black Mom Porn Amateur Chubby Mom Porn Amateur Homemade Mom Porn Amateur Hot Mom Porn Amateur Mature Mom Porn Amateur Mom and Boy Porn Amateur Mom Boy Porn Amateur Mom Porn Movies Amateur Mom Porn Tube Amateur Mom Porn Videos Amateur Moms Porn Pictures Amateur Soccer Mom Porn Amator Mom Porn Amatour Mom Porn Amatur Mom Porn Amature Mature Mom Porn Amature Mom Porn Videos Amature Porn Mom American Dad Mom Porn American Dragon Jake Long Mom Porn American Dragon Mom Porn American Hot Mom Porn American Step Mom Porn Ameteur Mom Porn Ametuer Mom Porn Ametur Mom Porn Anal Mom Porn Movies Anal Mom Porn Pics Anal Mom Porn Videos Anal Porn With Mom Anime Mom Porn Movies Anime Mom Porn Videos Anime Porn Son Fucks Mom Anime Son and Mom Porn Arabic Mom and Son Porn Ash's Mom Professor Oak Porn Meme Asian Busty Mom Porn Asian Mature Mom Porn Asian Milf Mom Porn Asian Mom and Boy Porn Asian Mom Boy Porn Asian Mom Fuck Porn Asian Mom Hot Porn Asian Mom in Law Porn Asian Mom Kitchen Porn Asian Mom Movie Porn Asian Mom Porn Com Asian Mom Porn Movies Asian Mom Porn Tube Asian Mom Porn Videos Asian Mom Porn Xxx Asian Mom Sex Porn Asian Mom Tube Porn Asian Mom Watching Porn Asian Old Mom Porn Asian Porn Mom Tube Ass Mom Porn Video Ava Lauren Mom Porn Awkward I Took Mom to Audition for Porn Babysitter and Mom Porn Backdoor Teen Mom Porn Video Banging Mom Porn Bbw Fat Mom Porn Bbw Mom and Boy Porn Bbw Mom Porn Tube Bbw Mom Porn Videos Bdsm Mom Porn Beautiful Black Mom Porn Beautiful Hot Mom Porn Beautiful Japanese Mom Porn Beautiful Mom Hd Porn Beautiful Mom Porn Tube Beeg Mom and Son Porn Beeg Mom Porn Movies Beeg Mom Porn Tube Beeg Mom Porn Video Bend Over Mom Porn Best Asian Mom Porn Best Busty Mom Porn Best Free Mom Porn Videos Best Friends Hot Mom Porn Best Friends Mom Porn Hub Best Friends Mom Porn Videos Best Hot Mom Porn Best Mature Mom Porn Best Milf Mom Porn Best Mom Ass Porn Best Mom Ever Porn Best Mom Porn Comic Best Mom Porn Star Best Real Mom Porn Best Sexy Mom Porn Bet Mom Porn Big Ass Ebony Mom Porn Big Ass Mexican Mom Porn Big Ass Milf Mom Porn Big Ass Mom Anal Porn Big Ass Mom Hd Porn Big Ass Mom Porn Movies Big Ass Mom Porn Tube Big Boobs Mom Hd Porn Big Boobs Mom Porn Movies Big Boobs Mom Sex Porn Big Booty White Mom Porn Big Busty Mom Porn Big Butt Black Mom Porn Big Butt Porn Mom Big Ebony Mom Porn Big Fat Ass Mom Porn Big Fat Mom Porn Big Hero 6 Mom Porn Big Mom Ass Porn Big Mom Hot Porn Big Mom Porn Movies Big Mom Porn Pics Big Mom Porn Tube Big Mom Pussy Porn Big Moms on Small Boys Porn Big Pussy Mom Porn Big Sexy Mom Porn Big Tit Hot Mom Porn Big Tits Mom Porn Tube Big Tits Porn Mom Big Titts Mom Porn Black Booty Mom Porn Black Friends Mom Porn Black Ghetto Mom Porn Black Hairy Mom Porn Black Milf Mom Porn Black Mom Amateur Porn Black Mom Ass Porn Black Mom Cheating Porn Black Mom Hardcore Porn Black Mom Porn Clips Black Mom Porn Pics Black Mom Porn Xxx Black Mom Pussy Porn Black Mom Tube Porn Black Mom White Boy Porn Black Mom Xxx Porn Black Moms Porn Photos Black Teen Mom Porn Black Thick Mom Porn Blackmail Cheating Mom Porn Blackmailing My Mom Porn Blonde Mom Porn Movies Blonde Mom Porn Pics Blonde Mom Porn Videos Blonde Mom Son Porn Blonde Porn Mom Blow Me Mom Porn Booty Porn Mom Boy Mom Porn Pics Boyfriend Mom Porn Brandi Love Mom and Son Porn Bravo Moms Porn Brazilian Hot Mom Porn Brazilian Mom Porn Tube Brazilian Mom Porn Videos Brazilian Porn Mom Brazzers Mom Porn Tube Bride Mom Porn Bridgett Lee Mom Son Porn Bridgette B Step Mom Porn Bridgette Mom Porn British Mature Mom Porn British Mom Porn Movies British Mom Porn Pics British Mom Porn Tube Brutal Mom Porn Brutal Porn Mom Busty Black Mom Porn Busty Blonde Mom Porn Busty British Mom Porn Busty Latina Mom Porn Busty Mature Mom Porn Busty Mom Porn Movies Busty Mom Porn Pics Cartoon Mom Boy Porn Cartoon Mom Porn Pictures Cartoon Mom Porn Video Cartoon Son and Mom Porn Cartoon Son Mom Porn Catching Mom Watching Porn Caught by Friends Mom Porn Caught Sniffing Moms Panties Porn Caught Spying on Mom Porn Caught Wearing Moms Panties Porn Caught With Moms Panties Porn Celebrity Porn Teen Mom Charlee Chase Mom Porn Charlotte 31 Year Old Divorced Mom Tries Porn Cheating Mom Porn Movies Cheating Mom Porn Pics Cheating Mom Porn Videos Chesty Moms Porn Chinese Mom Porn Tube Chinese Porn Mom Chinese Son and Mom Porn Chubby Black Mom Porn Chubby Hairy Mom Porn Chubby Hot Mom Porn Chubby Mature Mom Porn Chubby Mom and Boy Porn Chubby Mom Boy Porn Chubby Mom Homemade Porn


https://preview.redd.it/3babr0r4r6i51.jpg?width=259&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a17dd1e86018b5664fe3bd918ed1c14b8fd84cd5
submitted by HaulA20Augl to u/HaulA20Augl [link] [comments]


2020.07.28 23:27 RomaruDarkeyes Spy boy wanking

Also known by my players as "Everyone is a dragon..."
One of my longest running campaigns that I ran for nigh on 3 years which one of my players kept a running adventure log on the forum on Giant in the Playground. There are many stories regarding this group but I've got a few of my favourites that I would like to share.
To begin with; the party
Jaune Dupree – human ninja. This is the guy who made the adventure log that I am cribbing from so a lot of the stuff was written from his perspective. Bit of a power gamer despite having very little experience prior; I suspect a lot of his game playing knowledge came from optimising sites where the best characters were optimised builds. In terms of the crunch he was very book smart, and could (and still does) know game mechanics to a degree that I don't think I can match. But his only previous experience of playing was one other game.
Ocelot – human gunslinger. My IRL brother and at this point was one of the only players with any previous roleplaying experience.
Yurion – a female human lore oracle. Player is a bit more hands off than some because of social anxiety problems IRL, and so didn't want to (initially) play a front line fighter. Statted more for roleplay rather than combat which caused some issues occasionally when the rest of the party turned out to be somewhat murderhobo... Became the groups tactician and planner as the player is stupidly good at cunning plans, and would tend to hand me notes from time to time asking "Would it be possible to do this?" because of not wanting to announce to the group and possibly look foolish.
Sim (with an E) - a female human druid with a cheetah animal companion. Solid player with reasonable normal aspirations and goals. Became the party front liner and occasional spy when she would become a rat and sneak into places. As far as the 'E' in her name - to this day I don't know where it goes in the spelling... The players for Yurion and Sim were IRL partners so they kept it going in to the game as well. No objections - made things neater.
Draspher - human sorcerer focused on summoning and the only good aligned character (everyone else is neutral in some way) which considering how things turned out for him makes it even funnier as time went on... Took no offensive spells at all, other than the spells dedicated to summon monster, and statted his build into boosting those aspects. Many of the funniest stories regarding this group involved Draspher. His player had no prior experience of roleplaying (which was fine) and he was taking hints and tips from the player for Jaune (the afformentioned power gamer) who barely had experience himself.

Setting is a semi steampunk esque homebrew setting that I made up the framework for. The players were part of a guild of adventurers that would be hired out to paying customers which would usually allow me to slot in standalone modules as their 'jobs'. This was with the intention that as they became higher level there would be an underlying story thread that would permeate throughout.
Because of the relatively high tech and high magic setting, I wanted to instill some level of control into the setting to ensure that players couldn't run roughshod over the populace with their abilities. So magic is known and accepted but also has safeguards that are easily accessed - i.e. a player with invisibilty couldn't just walk into a bank and clear out the vault with a bag of holding. Sensible things mostly that would come up as and when the situation required it.

So in this instance, a set of thieves tools is a controlled item that you can purchase if you have the correct paperwork and authorisation. Jaune Dupree had neglected to purchase a set prior to this and they were tasked with breaking into the local mob headquarters to find evidence that the local crime lord was working with a guy looking to overthrow the local government.
I'm very open ended when it comes to giving players freedom, so they had any options they could think of on the table. They could have kicked in the door and taken the info, they could attempt to get the information by diplomacy/bribery etc.
They elected to break in - sensible idea. So part of the team (Yurion and Sim) elect to find the building plans for the hideout that the don is using to get the best intel for entry. After a frantic Oceans 11 style heist which turns into a scene from Benny Hill (including Yakety Sax featuring a cheetah...) they had the building plans which thanks to some good local knowledge and insight rolls using these plans pushed Jaune in the direction of "I should get some thieves tools so I can crack the locks quicker."
The local blacksmith tells them no can do - he needs authorisation from the local guard house for that. So off he trots, with Draspher along because "You've got a high CHA stat and social skills, and you aren't currently being sought out for an incident involving a cheetah". Yurion clearly being the other party face character.
They start chatting with the guard and tells them he needs some "thieves tools" and hands over his guild credentials. "No problem" says the guard "that'll be 3-4 weeks".
"Oh... I kind of need them now. I'm going to be leaving town in a couple of days to go tomb raiding and I don't want to let my party down"
"Sorry boss. I have to check these credentials aren't forged, and that's going to mean getting confirmation from your guild HQ"
Their guild had no office in this particular town - it was one of the reasons they were tapped for the job as they weren't locally known.
Draspher at this point pipes up, "I can handle this." and proceeds to dump a bag of about 500 gold pieces onto the desk and says "I think this should cover it"
At which point Jaunes player turns to Drapher's player and yells "The fuck?!?!?!"
Masterwork thieves tools are only 100 gold as it is, but that wasn't what was bothering him. It was how Draspher had 500 gold to throw around. Turns out that Draspher had a lot LOT more than that. He hadn't spent any gold on anything, and was still wandering round in his basic adventuring clothes that he had from the day we started playing - which was a wizards robes, staff, hat etc (remember this - it will be important), he hadn't bought any wands, scrolls, staffs etc. IIRC the players were level 7 at that point and I had stayed pretty close to the Pathfinder reccomended gold by level listing - so his total character wealth was supposed to be about 23,500 gold. Because he'd never upgraded his stuff, he had most of that gold on him in his pack (I believe he did have a handy haversack so it wasn't weighing him down carrying all that gold)
Jaune - being the typical murderhobo - had spent pretty much his whole allotment of gold that he got on improving his gear. Very rarely did he keep any spending money more than a few hundred gold for inn trips and occasional expenses and he never bought anything that he didn't think he would use - hence only now buying thieves tools.
So before I could stop them I told them that the guard took a very surprised look at the money, pocketed it, and then put it into his cloak.
"If you lads come back later, I'll have something for you"
Jaune's character "Aww crap... Can I roll sense motive?"
Me: "Of course you can"
Rolls - "Shit... Draspher - you roll it" (Didn't even tell me his roll. Presumably it was a skill he put no points in as it didn't involve killings"
Drasphers player rolls - "So I got a 10 on the dice? Is that good?"
Jaune "No, remember you have to add your sense motive score too"
Draspher "Oh... Okay, I got a 9 then"
Jaune - HEADDESK.....
So I tell them you detect no falsehood from him. He seems pleasantly friendly.
... So in actuality he's working for the mob... And he's seen the absurd amount of cash that Draspher just pulled out of his pockets and the superior quality of the gear that Jaune is wearing and figures them for well off marks.

Because the other members of the party are still potentially being looked for by the local guard, it's decided that they will come with, but they will follow a little ways behind. Draspher and Jaune turn up to the guard house, and the guard comes out and motions for them to follow him.
He leads them on a merry chase across the town a short ways before heading into the slum area of the town. The other party members are following behind but maintaining a reasonable distance and relying on Sim's perception score to keep them in sight (Sim had a really good perception score, and they were exactly difficult to spot with Draspher in his robes)
The guard moves down an alleyway, and the pair follow dutifully onwards. He reaches the end of the alleyway and turns and he's flanked by 2 other guys, and 2 further people move in to the back of the alley to cut off escape. There's also two more gentlemen that appear on the roof of the buildings either side, one with a crossbow, the other with some sort of grenade weapons.
"Give us the rest of the money, and we might consider letting you live"
Jaune "Funny, I extend to you the same courtesy" - knowing that the rest of the party is not far behind.
"Listen boy, there's 7 of us..."
At which point Jaunes player announces "I turn invisible using my ninja vanishing trick"
So I give him the surprise round and he turns invisible. Meanwhile poor Drasphers player is like
"Motherfucker abandoned me!!" so I ruled that because he wasn't expecting it, that he would have to take his turn in the normal turn order.
We rolls initiative - he rolls really high and gets first action.
"Two can play at that game!", and he casts invisibilty on himself.
"Cool, okay. Do you want to do anything else?"
"Nope"
It was months later I find out that he didn’t know that he could move. He had only cast summons up to that point and so had no idea that not every spell is a full round action
"...Okay..." And so the bandits go.
Now these guys have names - I have a tendency to do that as a DM when forming organisations; I don't give every single NPC a name, but if there is a local mob, or blacksmith, or a person of significance I tend to put a little effort in.
So you had bandits like Sammy the stab, or Tattoo McGee etc,
....and Arnold the arsonist...
Arnold the arsonist likes fire. He likes it so much that his weapon of choice is alchemist fire. He's been told by his boss that he is not to 'burn the merchandise' but if they try to escape he can throw some fire to keep them boxed in.
Suddenly turning invisible threw out his thinking a little bit, so he immediately throws two bottles of alchemist fire (I gave him a couple of attacks because of it being 'his thing'), one at where they were and one further down the alley behind them.
Jaune has headed backwards towards the two guys, but then has to pull a fairly sharp U turn to avoid being burnt by the fire.
Draspher takes a jar of alchemist fire to his head and promptly catches fire.
So the bandits and their leader cheer at Draspher being revealed by the flames on his cloak, and jeer at him "Dance piggy! Some nice bacon smell wafting over here". In reality I'm not going to attack the on fire dude.
So Drasphers next action is to cast a spell. I remind him that he will need to make a concentration check to cast while he's on fire. He rolls a crit!
"Beautiful move. What spell are you casting?" Expecting him to call a summon/multiple summons
"I cast grease!"
"Umm... Okay.. Are you sure?"
"Yeah, and I want to cast it at that guy on the roof that molotov'd me"
"Oh... Okay. Clever idea. It'll make it unstable terrain for him and I'll need to roll his reflex"
So Arnold rolls his reflex save....
1....
Aww fuck.... So Arnold falls off the roof...
So the thing is - Arnold doesn't have any extradimensional storage for his accelerants. He wears them in bandoliers across his body.
He's got about 20 different flasks of oil, alchemist fire, and other flammables, that all smash open when Arnold hits the ground...
I describe as a thirty foot fireball engulfs Arnold, the alleyway, and destroys the two buildings alongside, as Draspher is launched bodily out of the alleyway by the shockwave into the hands of his awaiting teammates, while Jaune (still invisible) is launched in the other direction past the very surprised guard/bandit leader.
But wait! There's more!
So bless him Draspher solo'd a group of bandits on his own with no help, but the situation is less than ideal. They've sent up a massive explosion that was heard across the city, and their is no sign of their rogue/ninja.
As Yurion is trying to heal Draspher to positive numbers (he took a lot of damage from what I treated as a fireball spell for the purposes of damage), the other party members are checking the bodies of the bandits. They're at the wrong end of the alley for any significant info, and as Draspher regains consciousness the local guard have mobilised and are moving towards them to investigate.
They don't want to have to deal with the local guard and explain this so they make plans to pull up a manhole cover and escape into the sewers. Draspher pointedly asks me at this point.
"Am I still invisible?"
I think about it and tell him "No, while grease is not technically an attack that would break the invisibility spell, I would have to rule that your invisibility spell dropped when you were thrown out of the alley"
"But I didn't make an attack, surely it would still be active"
"Yes that's true. But if you want to be still invisible then we'll have to rewind to before Yurion healed you, and see whether she can find your invisible body before you bleed out..."
D: "Oh... Good point. Can I cast it again?"
"Do you have any more level 2 spells today?"
D: "Yes I have a few more"
"Then yes you can."
D: "Okay, I'll cast that then"
Meanwhile the other players are working out how to get into the sewers. They get the manhole up easily, but then reason that if they leave it to the side it will look really obvious as to where they've gone. So they come up with a plan to use Yurions levitate spell to lift the cover and then replace it so that it looks undisturbed. Clever solution to solve a problem that I hadn't even thought of.
Now I should explain another gameplay rule I added early on - Wisdom rolls. It was always an issue in previous games I have played that I found where combats would grind to a halt when players would discuss strategies and tactics in the middle of combat. So I put a stop to it, and as a DM I take whatever is said at the table as "I am doing this action".
However as my game was made up of several new players I gave them a set of 'training wheels' in the form of a Wisdom roll. If they tried to do something that as a DM I thought was a bit too much of a stretch, they had a takeback option as long as they could roll above a 5 on the dice, plus their Wisdom modifer, so it accounted for a characters common sense.
So the other characters start piling into the sewer - Draspher looks thoughtful for a second.
Draspher – can I roll wisdom?DM – Sure? Wh..?
I don't get chance to ask him why before he rolls... Another rule I have at the table - you roll for something; you are committed to that action. I should note that players are always aware of these rules going into my games and at this point they've been playing for a good few months at this point.
Draspher – *rolls* (gets a 1 on the dice) "oh never mind"
Me: "No. You know my rule. You rolled. You're committed. What did you get?"
Draspher – "I got a 1... With my WIS modifier that gives me 0..."
"....what were you rolling for?"
"I thought it would be a good idea to try and explain to the guards what happened, and to see if we could help with rescuing any civilians"
Again, bless his heart - he was the only character with a good alignment. But I said
"Look you know my rule. You think this is a great idea"

At which point Sim the Druid says to me, "I grab Draspher and throw his ass in the sewer" trying to save him from himself. At which point Drashper's player says
"But I'm invisible? You can't see me"
Every player round the table bar one facepalms...

So with no other options left, the rest of the group abandon the sorceror and disapear into the sewers.
The guards turn up and start investigating. Suddenly they hear a voice from no-where.
"Oh thank goodness you came when you did! I was just minding my own business when this fight broke out. I turned invisible to hide, there was an explosion, and the culprits all ran off down the sewers!"
At which point there's another round of facepalms as Draspher essentially throws the rest of the party under the bus by telling the guard where they went...
Now as the DM, as far as this guard is concerned there has been an explosion, that may or may not have been magical in nature that has destroyed a big ol chunk of the street. There is most likely a spellcaster who is in close proximity to the area, who is invisible. It might be someone who isn't a caster but has natural abilities to turn invisible, but his duty is pretty clear that he needs to bring this person in, regardless of whether they are telling the truth.
I try to give him an out... I talk in my most sarcastic tone.
"All right young man, we're here now and it'll be all okay. We just need you to drop that spell you are using so we can take your statement and send you on your way..."
"I roll sense motive to see if he's telling the truth" as he rolls his dice
The rest of the table, "He's clearly fucking with you!!! Oh for fucks sake"
D - "And I get... oh... shit I need new dice..."
Face in my hands, "You think it's a great idea"
So Draspher dispels his invisibilty. It take literally half a second for the guard to identify Draspher as a spell caster from his wizards robes and pointy hat (told you that would come back didn't I), and not just that but from the burns he's still got on his face and clothing, he's immediately coshed on the head, gagged and cuffed to prevent him casting, and loaded into the paddy wagon to go down the station.
Now you may think that would be the end of our hapless sorceror, which is exactly what the player thought, the table thought, and I thought at first. I had to step away from the table to work out how the hell to get out of this...

So I think of some way to get him out of this...
Next scene, he gets debagged in an interrogation room. They ask him what happened and he blurts out the truth, only just remembering not to tell the guards he knows who we are. They don't believe him for a second. They think he's a psycho who followed a guard, killed him and bunch of other innocent people in a massive fireball. (The guard/bandit got caught by the blast...)
I announce that his lawyer enters, and I stare at the party and ask "Who wants to represent him?"
There's a little back and forth - Yurion is the obvious choice as the second highest charisma in the party. That plan is shot to pieces when Jaune's players suddenly announces:
"Oh god"
"what?"
Jaune - "None of us can do it..."
I'm looking confused, and he continues...
Jaune - "Well I was seen with him talking to the dead guard. We were both seen around town with Ocelot. All three of us visited the blacksmith to get armour for a raccoon and a cheetah. The only cheetah in the city was seen at the trashed library, accompanied by a druid and an Oracle. Don’t you see, we have all been implicated with him at one point or another..."
Me inside my own head - "Fuck... He's right..."
Don't you love it when the players sabotage their own story...
Sudden brainwave!!!!!!
"If you guys don't want to step in, I have another option"
The rest of the party shake their heads.
Then I introduce Jose, the local half orc crime boss as Drasphers legal representative.

So instead a man in a fancy suit walks in. He clears the room out and starts explaining himself. When one of his men turns up at his place of business covered with burns and telling him that several of his associates are dead, he was initially furious. But as the story unfolded he became curious instead of furious. When he heard what happened he decided he would come to see Draspher for himself, as we might be useful to him.
“That was one heck of an explosion, do you think you could do it again, say with a bank vault”.
Draspher doesn’t get the message....
He furiously starts denying it was him, and is thinking that I am trying to get him to admit to the crime and for the third time that night the rest of the party is facepalming at him.
"So you are saying that wasn't you?"
"Yes! Why does no one believe me?"
"That's a shame. Because someone who can do something like that might be useful to my organisation. But if you are saying that wasn't you, well that's too bad... I give you about 24 hours before someone turns you into their personal wank rag..."
Jaune's player "DUDE!! HE'S GIVING YOU AN OUT! An 'out' of prison, and an 'in' with the guys we were trying to infiltrate in the first place!"
Now he got the message...
"Oh... I see. I thought you were trying to get me to admit to something. As far as the explosion, you should understand it's not something I can just do willy nilly. I have to be in a special mood for it...." And he starts rolling for bluff and praying to any god that will hear him.
The half orc smiles at him
"I'll be in touch"

And that is how Draspher started his stint as "The Mad Bomber", which survived into many more sessions as a source of continous problems, and sometimes solutions for the party. I would write more about his exploits but this took me almost 3 hours even with my notes.
I'd be happy to continue the story if anyone wants to hear more
Edit: Thanks for the gold stranger! I'll get my notes together for you. Watch this space.
2nd Edit - for those wanting to continue the story - I've put part 2 here
submitted by RomaruDarkeyes to MrRipper [link] [comments]


2019.11.19 17:36 nudistwanker I've been putting on a show for the girls across the street

I'm a student living in a small basement studio apartment, I'm also a nudist, and this year I started to leave my curtains open all day and night. The houses across the road from me are all higher than mine, meaning they can see straight into my whole apartment, right to the bed. The houses are all split into student accomodation, and of the apartments that I know can see in, one is shared between six young attractive women. Our buildings are both slightly set back from the road, so we can't really recognise each other, but we can easily see what the other is doing.
When I first started leaving the curtains open they were pretty shocked to see me lying naked on my bed, in open view to them. They laughed, they were shy and tried not to look. It's been about two now and I've things have progressed a lot. At first I'd see them having a look and pretending they're not. I once lay down rather tired and they must have thought I was asleep, because they all became very bold, standing right at the window looking at my naked body.
At night I masturbate before bed. I don't close the curtains but I do turn off the lights, this has become my signal for neighbours who want to watch the show. There is some light from the computer screen, and I use this to illuminate by body and cock for them. I've noticed a number of them watching from dark rooms, peering through gaps in curtains. Every day one of the girls closes her curtains, but leaves a small gap to watch me through.
A few weeks ago I was laying in bed working my cock when I noticed one of the girls at their window with the light on, standing still, watching me. She was young, slim, with great blone hair. I don't think she'd been there very long, but long enough that she'd been watching. It was so intense and arousing to think she wanted to watch me and wasn't affraid to let me know. I didn't want to come across as super creepy and masturbate at her without consent, so I sat up slightly to let her know I was looking directly back at her and stopped masturbating. She didn't flinch, I waved nervously but she glances away and pretended not to see, then looked back and kept watching. By this time my heart was pounding in my chest. So I slowly and nervously reached back down to continue. It was so erotic knowing she was watching me lie there naked slowly stroking my shaft. After twenty seconds or so she left the room, returning to the window a few minutes later to watch me some more. Sadly she ran out of excuses and did not watch me finish, or if she did she was too sneaky for me to spot her.
I used to wait till around midnight or later to masturbate so that it didn't seem obvious that I'm trying to put on a show for the girls across the street. Unfortunately it seems most of them like an early night, so I decided to start earlier, and boy did it pay off.
Seeing one of the braver women at the window I decided it was time to start the warm up act. I lay on my back, giving them a nice side profile of the full length of my body. Playing on my phone they knew I was going to be focused on that and they'd have free reign to take in the view I was giving them. I to read some of the other stories on here to get me going. I could feel them watching me as my cock started to twitch to life, feel them watch my cock get hard and stand up. I resisted the almost overwhelming urge to twich my cock for them. I stayed there for a while, my cock throbbing from knowing they were still there watching.
I decided it was time, and slowly rolled over, seeing their heads just go into hiding, and then I set up my laptop up ready to illuminate me. I got up to get tissues and turned out the lights (the code to my neighbours that it's showtime).
It was almost torture to not look and see, but I lay there, engrossed in the porn on my laptop, working my cock. I stroked it nice and slow, catching a glipse of a girl watching from the corner of the window. It wasn't long before the news reached her housemates and there were multiple women watching from hiding places in the window. The bravest woman came right up to the window and watched.
My strokes quickened, but I didn't want to end the show already, I drew it out for them with nice long strokes and some ball squeezing to show off the full length of my cock. It was so erotic having her watch me, seeing the heads of other girls popping up to catch a look here and there. I sped up and closed my eyes, letting them think they could watch with impunity, while really I was sneaking a look here and there, seeing them engrosed by my display. I couldn't last long and prepared the tissues, before cumming so hard while they watched unashamedly. I squirmed on the bed still cumming, peeking out and seeing the bravest girl still at the window, enjoying the show.
Fast forward a few weeks and my girlfriend came to visit. We had a close call while we were walking back to my apartment from the university campus. We ended up in single file for a few seconds with me behind her. At the same time two hot girls walking down the other side of the street had their eyes locked onto me and their mouths wide open in shock. I knew instantly that they recognised me, and then I realised the blonde was the girl that I had brazenly masturbated for while she watched.
It was so erotic, and so risky, and there was me with my super jealous girlfriend just feet away from another girl that I've been secretly masturbating for. I think the brunette that tried to hide behind her friend is the girl that always leaves a spy gap in her curtains to watch me from her bedroom.
My girlfriend has now gone back to her city, and I was horny to start putting on shows again. So last night I was lying on my bed fully clothed when I saw the same two girls appear at their window. I waved, they waved back. That's the first time they've acknowleged that we can see each other, in almost two months of me parading my naked body for them. I'd hoped that they'd now feel more comfortable watching me without trying to hide, however last night I wanked in full view and no one came. I'm worried that I've broken the spell and they won't want to watch me now we've seen each others faces. I'll be living in this apartment for a good two years yet, so fingers crossed they'll come back.
submitted by nudistwanker to sexstories [link] [comments]


2019.10.10 17:32 SpencerMcEvil TIFU - My dad almost caught me with porn, which was somehow worse than if he actually caught me with porn

This story was 11 years ago - back in the days of being 13, where my use of porn was shyly hidden and masturbation was yet to be talked about with my parents. (Or anybody)
My parents had a bad divorce when I was 10 and were on bad terms. Every other weekend I'd go to my Dad's, where I'd mostly play videogames. Sure, I'd go out to a movie or to play basketball once or twice with my dad- to fulfill his quota of father son time. Despite that, most of the day was me, alone in my room, playing halo 3 on my xbox. I wasn't a huge fan of visiting, especially after my dad moved into his girlfriend's. However, there was one thing I was a fan of.
My dad was renovating the home office and was using my room for his work in the mean time. This meant I had access to an amazing, new, top of the line mac- a giant screened high quality beast of a computer. Worth more than 3 months of his unpayed child support. And I knew 2 things.

  1. Porn gives viruses
  2. Macs don't get viruses
So visiting my dad for me meant a lot of alone time with that beast of a porn machine, with my small mind worry free about stumbling across a virus. The ridiculous wank fest that would commence every visitation was the weekend's highlight. Until...
One day there is a knock on the door of my room. My dick is in hand, soft core porn was on screen, and my dad outside my room, confused as to why the door was locked. The stage is set. I scramble to get rid any evidence of what occured. I wipe off my rod, put tissues in my pocket, and delete my browsing history. I'm quick. It must have taken 30 seconds. But that's too long. I frantically open the door and try to look casual as my 6'5" father looks down on me from the doorway.
"What were you doing in there?"
He looks at me with a expression of fatherly disappointment. He knows exactly what I was doing in there. My hand. I try to think of an excuse. Something believable. There is a pause. I think of... nothing.
"Nothing" I said, "I wasn't doing anything".
"Then why was the door locked? If you were doing nothing?" He asks.
"I...I just like privacy" I say. It's all I can think of. I regret not putting a game on the background of the computer so it'd look like I was doing anything else. But it's obvious. A locked door, a Mac computer, and a very nervous 13 year old boy.
I feel humiliated. He has to know. My knees are sweaty, my hands are weak. Mommas pasta.
"I know what you were doing," He says. "Let's have a talk".
I'm not a huge fan of "talks". It's how he deals with misbehavior. He sits me down at the diningroom table and questions and Jewish guilts the hell out of me for an hour or more. He asks questions and watches me squirm.
I walk with him to the table and I take a seat. For the next 10 minutes he asks me what I was doing. I don't want to say. I'm too embarrassed. He already said he knew- he can say it. And then he does.
"I know what you were doing", He says, "You were going through my emails for your mom!"
Only my dad would see a panicky 13 year old locked in his room with his computer and think "Oh. He's spying on me".
I deny it. He doesn't believe me. He asks what else I could be doing. But all I could say was "nothing". The conversation continues in the same circle over and over again.
I deny it. He doesn't believe me. He asks what else I could be doing. But all I could say was "nothing". The conversation continues in the same circle over and over again.
I deny it. He doesn't believe me. He asks what else I could be doing. But all I could say was "nothing". The conversation continues in the same circle over and over again.
I deny it. He doesn't believe me. He asks what else I could be doing. But all I could say was "nothing". The conversation continues in the same circle over and over again.
I don't remember how it ends. But it feels like it takes forever. 2 weeks later during my next visit he buys me a laptop of my own and moves his compute office to another room. He doesn't let me take the laptop home. I use it almost exclusively for porn. Occasionally school work. But 99% porn.
Occasionally during the next couple years my dad would rebring up the spying during dining room table disagreements. When I was 16 I stopped going to see him. Years after I told my friends the story. I told my siblings and even my mom. But as my dad and I don't talk very often I never brought it up.
TL;DR - I jerked off with my dad's computer and he got suspicious. But he didn't think I was jerking it and thought I was spying on him when I didn't cum clean. To this day he thinks his horny teenager was actually James Bonding it for his mom.
Hope I did this post okay, first time posting here. I know a parent finding their kid jerking it isn't super original but I thought the conclusion he came to from it was.
submitted by SpencerMcEvil to tifu [link] [comments]


2019.08.31 17:17 FunnyNWittyReferenc Spy boy wanking

Previous posts: 3rd, 2nd and 1st Doctors.
Continuity:
Leela's intelligence seems to vary vastly based off who's writing the episode. Though the order Eyespider has them in is mostly consistent, so props for that. This era has no major continuity flaws that I can think of, which is I guess a bonus? On the other hand it makes the EU feels slightly disconnected with the interconnection I got used to from 1-3. It instead prefers to use things established in 4's era mainly.
Other Thoughts: There is a lot to go through. So much so that I'm not actually finished. I'm breaking this post into 2 halves, having just watched The Invasion of Time, roughly the midpoint of his era when counting the EU. I'd have held it off until Logopolis, but I hit 37k characters of Reddit's 40k maximum for a post last time. There's just no way I could fit it into one post here.
Now, hot take, but 4 is my least favorite Doctor. To the point where he's the only one I actively can't stand. Tom Baker never actually put any effort into the acting, and none of the writers gave him a character. The character he plays is the funny meme catchphrase man with the jelly babies, not the Doctor. On TV, there's no depth to his character at all, that's just all he does. Season 15 exacerbates the issue, and it only gets worse from there. Thankfully Season 18 is wonderful and the writers actually do something with him, but I haven't gotten there yet so I'll keep it out of this post. The biggest offender of the "wacky jelly baby man xd" so far is Image of the Fendahl. If you haven't seen it recently, there's a scene in the cliffhanger of part one where the Doctor is along in the room with a skull. No monitoring equipment, no people in the room, and no reason to suspect the skull is anything other than a skull, as evidenced by his surprise when it glows and does... something? Anyway, he sits down at the desk next to it, then asks it, completely seriously: "Would you like a Jelly Baby? [A short pause.] No, I don't suppose you would."
Why did he do this? Well, obviously out of universe it's because it's a good gag scene. But that's exactly the problem: the writers very rarely seemed to think if it made sense for the Doctor to do it, they just went "yup, he's the funny guy, we should have a joke here." This extends to every 4th Doctor story. That's his only personality in all of them: he's funny. From his first episode, that's all he is. Sometimes the writers will be bold and he will violently swap between personalities in the span of a second; from haha meme man to absolute raging asshole. Seriously, he's just downright unpleasant most of the time when he's not being funny, I'd hate to travel with him. And my god if the early EU doesn't take that and turn it up to 11. You know that scene in Ark in Space where he's being a dick so Sarah will climb through the vent? I'm fairly certain that's the only scene the early comic writers watched, because he's like that legitimately all the time.
Now, remember how in Invisible Enemy, 4 and Leela run around in the Doctor's mind? And are actually depicted as tearing through membranes and stuff? My new semi-serious headcanon is that the Doctor actually has brain damage after this. It would explain how any vestiges of character left him after this point, and why the very next episode he's offering inanimate skulls Jelly Babies.
Another thing about this era that I hate is the sheer glut of novels. He has 24 novels, more than double what most of the others have. Obviously not counting 7 or 8. Most of these are horrendous. All those problems I have with 4? The lack of ambition on the writer's part, his lack of character? All turned up to the point it'd almost be comical if it wasn't physically painful to go through. There are only 2 novels I would actually recommend from this era, and one of them is a 4/Romana novel that I only know is good because I read it years ago when I bought the reprint, so it doesn't count in this portion of the review. Honestly, I have so many novels to rant about in the bad novels section that I almost had to save some for the next post, this whole thing is 38k of the 40k character limit.
I think I've talked about my intense, burning hatred of 4's era enough here, probably enraging everyone. Make sure to leave an angry comment down below! I got one telling me that it's because "the intense bitterness in [my] mind" that I hate Combat Rock a while ago, so I guess people get very mad when you call something objectively terrible objectively terrible. And now, on to:
Best Part of the Era Overall: Quite honestly? None of it. I dislike it so much. There's no ambition, and no reason to have any, because everyone loves the funny meme man. Why put any effort into your story when it'll just sell anyway? This seems to be Chris Boucher's philosophy, though we'll get to him later. There's no character development to 4 at all, not even during S18. It's just an abrupt personality change, though I like that personality much more. I'll try to refrain from mentioning anything post-Invasion of Time from now on just to have something to talk about next time. I guess the best part so far was with Leela? She's a more interesting character than the Doctor, hands-down. Her and Romana (oops, did it again) actually have character development, the only characters in his era to do so.
Worst Part of the Era Overall: The least enjoyable part was probably the entire time Sarah-Jane was there. Like the Doctor, character development was thrown out the window the second Pertwee regenerated. I'm apathetic towards her, and I outright can't stand Harry Sullivan. Harry's hobbies include being a bit misogynistic and standing around uselessly. Their tenure is made worse by the severe lack of Big Finish with them. The only EU parts of their run is a few BF short trips, prose short trips, and an insufferable amount of novels.
The 4th Doctor's early days are also very torn between trying to do like Robot, where it's him in a typically 3rd Doctor situation with UNIT, and trying to do something like his TV run. Sadly neither of them are good. The idea of the Doctor trying to fit into his old life, but his new personality clashing so heavily he has to give it up? Absolutely great. Sadly, because none of the writers understand the concept of character drama, it's never once brought up, it's just a thing that sort of accidentally happens. Good job lads. They also keep it like Seeds of Doom, where the Brig has just ceased to exist for the day. There's no reason to since it's prose, and when put all together, it becomes increasingly unlikely that he's just traveling the world doing... things, just so he's not there when they are.
Alternate worst part: that time Chris Boucher had 4 novels of his literally in a row between Robots of Death and Talons of Weng-Chiang. We'll get into that later.
Best Novels: Scratchman: Absolutely fantastic. Being written by Tom Baker in first person really gives you an insight into what the Doctor is thinking, which makes the fact that externally he's just meme man almost tolerable. You can see the Doctor's head isn't completely empty, which is something every TV writer seemed to forget all the time. Again: Jelly Baby to a skull scene is the most egregious example for this. He's legitimately terrified here, and it wouldn't work any other way than prose. I'm glad it wasn't made into a movie, where Tom Baker can un-act his way through it, it would have definitely let the story down.
Wolfsbane: Probably only as good as it is because it has 8 in it, my favorite Doctor. It does feature some good moments, such as 4 abruptly just stabbing a wolf through the heart, and especially the fact that Harry becomes a werewolf. Okay, that part is only implied, but I want to believe it.
Drosten's Curse: It tries a little too hard to be Douglas Adams, which gets annoying a few chapters in, but it's still relatively good.
And that's it, those are the only two good novels so far. I've read 15 of 24 novels, and these are the only ones that were actually good. I won't be reading the 3 with BF adaptations, because reading is the part of this that takes the longest, and is generally horrendous. I got stuck at the Chris Boucher novels for over a month just because they were so shit I couldn't be bothered to suffer through them. The only other novels that aren't abject trash are A Device of Death, Ghost Ship, and, debatably, System Shock. Whatever you do, don't get it confused with Millennium Shock. Why? Find out several rant paragraphs down.
Worst Novels:
It's hard to pick a worst one. In all shit stories, there's one rule you should remember: rule 1: don't think about it, because the author didn't. On my spreadsheet, there are three different novels with a 2/10 rating. You know what a 1/10 is? Combat Rock. If you read my previous reviews, you know of my immeasurable hatred for that book. Unsurprisingly, one point up from it is also absolutely loathsome. First off:
Managra: The title is an anagram. The book is networks petunia, according to this anagram generator site I found. Or, in normal person language, pretentious wank. This book is 320some pages long, and absolutely fuck all happens in them. Over two thirds of the book is worldbuilding, and it's insanely unrealistic. Apparently in the 31st century, the Vatican was renovated into a flying city. Okay, sure. Now people want to go back to the old ways. By which I don't mean they want the old Vatican back. No, they want to recreate history and go back to the 14th fucking century. No, there is no connection between these two things, despite the novel insisting there is. So the... government? Vatican??? God???? arranges this, and the entire planet has different sections for different periods of history. Oh, and also the entire Earth is now dimensionally transcendental. Why? How? What the fuck? Don't worry about it. Also, we refer to it as dimensions extraordinary because why not.
So what if you want technology? Or like, anything? To progress in society? Fuck you, that's what. Anachronisms are illegal. You're in the 12th century but want to hear a Shakespeare play? Shit out of luck, go back to working on your farm or whatever it is you do. Shakespeare is also banned in all time periods by the Vatican, as well as all Elizabethian and Jacobean works. Why? Who knows. Also, they have Polygots, a sort of Babbelfish, and mechanical horses. So why reenact all this shit? Why ban indoor plumbing if you've got a robohorse?
Think this entire idea is actually the stupidest fucking thing you're ever heard of? Too bad, this is literally the entire planet now. Why? Why the hell would even a single country agree to this?
"Hey guys, what if we redid history?"
"Like, as a theme park? Interesting."
"Nononono, like, all over. All the time."
"Hmmm..."
"Also we're reinstating racism for historical accuracy."
Yup, that's something that happens. Why? Rule 1, don't worry about it, it all makes sense. Sure hope you weren't any form of minority. You can tell this book was written by a white man. There's also no mention of any non-European zones, though being generous, this could be because they're in the "Eurpoa dominion" the entire time.
Now, this is all outright stupid, and we can all agree on that, right? Buckle up, because it gets worse. Like gazing into the eyes of Cthulhu, the madness goes deeper and deeper down the further you look. So, we have a bunch of different periods of history, anarchonisms are illegal, you're expected to suffer in your time period forever and that's just life. How did they determine the inhabitants of each section? Who knows. Probably eugenics. Anyway, we need historical figures to make it truly accurate. What? Why??? What??? Excuse you??? So now we have duplicates of them. Robot duplicates? Haha no, you absolute imbecile. We've cloned them. And... somehow made them have the same personalities as the originals. But also they're aware they're not original. And also there are multiple clones. Why? Because there are multiple copies of time zones and places. Why? Legitimately what purpose does having two instances of 17th century France have?
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE. These duplicates, called Reprises, are most of the main characters in the novel. It's a fucking time travel series, just use the originals and have them meet somehow instead of this contrived bullshit oh my fucking god. Remember how I called it pretentious? That's because, while doing all this world building, it seems to think the reader has read all the works of every famous poet ever, and keeps referencing it. The author has to feel the need to pause every other chapter with dialogue like:
"Salutations Harold my good chap. A most extraordinary day, shan't you say?"
"Oh my, yes Archibald, I do quite agreed. A day where one may see the Vatican's visage in all its splendid glory. I say, have you heard of that bard fellow? I hear he is working on his tenth sonnet."
"Magnificent! Simply magnificent! 'Tis a shame the Vatican has banned all of these plays, along with all Elizabethan era works of literature."
This is how the entire book is written, and how most of the expositional dialogue is done. Like most shit novels, the Doctor and Sarah hardly feature. Also, witches and zombies and demons and stuff are real. Why? Stop asking, it just is. The people in charge know they weren't real, so why do they exist? Why make people who can overthrow you?
The plot is that there's this guy called Managra who is putting on plays and I guess it kills everyone in the audience? He shows up twice before the climax and is the most pretentious asshat in the novel by far, which is no easy feat. Somehow 4, Sarah, and 5 different Reprises team up to go invade his play or something. It's been months since I read it, and I discarded almost any memory of it immediately afterwards, so this summary might be a little off. Anyway, they dick around for 100+ pages on the way there, and we sometimes are afforded a line of dialogue from the Doctor. The bulk of this focuses on that guy from Castlevania, the author's original demon-slaying vampire hunter character. I can't even remember what happened to him in the end, other than the fact that I hated every second he wasted on screen. I don't think he ever met up with the Doctor, or if he did, it was very brief.
Eventually 4 and co. find the theater, and 4 goes in there by himself and does god knows what. Then he interrupts Managra's plan and is sucked into a parallel world and also Managra is an alien and is an anagram for anagram and this is apparently thematically relevant and now the dimension is collapsing so the Doctor leaves it in there and then just kind of walks out. Story over.
Millennium Shock: A sequel to the decent System Shock. Sadly it doesn't want you to know this, despite the title and the cover giving it away, and it literally stating it on the back. Instead we spend over half the novel getting to the point where 4 goes "woah, it's those guys from System Shock."
It begins with a 20 page long article about Y2K, which you're required to read to understand the internal logic it's operating on.
Like System Shock, it features an older Harry Sullivan, in the 20th century, working for MI6. Wow, cool. Shame he didn't pick up a personality to make me care about him in the intervening years. He's more 2D than ever if anything. Sarah isn't here so he can't be "charmingly" sexist, making him lose 80% of his character traits. I'd go into detail like Managra up there, except there's no plot to speak of to get into. The Doctor lands, we spend 120 pages figuring out what the cover already tells us, and then we blow it up the same way as last time. Amazing.
Asylum: It's a pure historical, except it's not. It's a meeting between early 4 and Nyssa, except they split up and hardly talk. It's like a good story, except not.
So Nyssa is preparing a paper on the effects of Francis Bacon. Why? As usual, don't question it. Also, this is post-Terminus, where we're rewarded with a scene of Nyssa taking a bath less than 20 pages in. It's one of those novels. Somehow time shifts and now Bacon is no longer noteworthy so she's writing a paper on something else. Then the TARDIS lands in her living room, 4 walks out, says some nonsense, and then they go back in time to meet Bacon. It's not intentional because she can't remember him, the TARDIS just goes to the beginning of the time distortion. Whatever.
So we get there and it's just a pure historical. Nyssa runs off 30 pages after landing and does her own thing. 4 tries to solve a murder plot around Bacon. Nyssa falls in love with a knight who saw her in her underwear. That's right lads: best way to hook up with a girl is to spy on her getting changed and then keep forcing romantic advances on her until she gives in. He's killed later in the novel by the bad guy. Thrilling. Nyssa is sad. For about 5 minutes. Then she gets better. The writers of 4's era don't understand the concept of personalities at all.
The bad guy was this guy who was I guess possessed by aliens, or heard their instructions? In the climax, he tells Nyssa he killed her knight boyfriend, and she's just ready to give in and almost lets him stab her. Then she realizes she has plot armour and stabs him in the head instead. The day is saved, and with only a slight bit of permanent brain injury! No really, that's actually it. The guy lives, 4 says he's mentally damaged for life. They take off again.
In the epilogue and prologue, we see the aliens plan... something. Their ship is out of fuel, but they can travel through time as a incorporeal entity? I guess? So one goes back to speak to the bad guy from the rest of the novel and that's why he was evil. The Doctor never interacts with them or finds out about their existence. The epilogue is the brain damaged guy, who was in the aliens past, hunting them down as an old man and trying to warn them. They ignore him and think he's senile. Story over. Why did this not need to be a pure historical, when you could cut the aliens entirely? Rule 1.
Last Man Running: The first of the four back-to-back Chris Boucher novels. Boucher is the creator of Leela. Which makes the fact that she's wildly out of character in all his novels more surprising. Not much to say on this one, it's just dull and convoluted. At one point Leela kills 50+ clones of herself, because she's the only one with plot armour.
Corpse Marker: Hey guys, remember Robots of Death? Well Boucher does, and he wants to go back. Unfortunately he has no reason for doing so, and it's 200 pages of him wanking off onto the page while watching Robots of Death. Honestly, I'm pretty sure Robots of Death and Face of Evil being good were flukes, because god knows his other writing is awful.
Psi-Ence Fiction: or, Chris Boucher and That Time He Found his Book of 1001 Witty Quips for Aspiring Writers. These characters are actually one dimensional.
Featuring: Asshole college student, dismissive college student, Boobs McGee, horny college student, dead college student, their professor, a sentient cardboard cutout of the Doctor who is very concerned about water, and Leela. The college students + Boobs McGee all share literally the same personality beyond the descriptors I added to them. Boobs McGee is also a descriptor, because Boucher needs to constantly remind us that she is, in fact, attractive. They all just speak in generic quips straight out of every 90s-2000s movie ever. It's unbearable. The horny one constantly hits on the attractive one despite the fact she literally hates him and tells him to stop all the time.
This book guest stars the ghost of Mick Lewis, and I'm only half joking. The antagonist is a demon who SCREAMS IN ALL CAPS CONSTANTLY and who for most of the novel IS IN YOUR HEAD, ATTRACTIVE BITCH. YEAH WHORE I'M IN HERE. That's legitimately how it talks. It constantly calls her a bitch. Good job Boucher. Anyway this is all just bullshit because it's not related to the overall solution anyway.
The TARDIS lands, and 4 immediately loses his mind completely. The entire time we're seeing his POV, he's hardly coherent. This isn't even my dislike of him as a character, I mean he is legitimately written as if he's senile. Over half the book is him thinking something, then going "hmm, I think there's something in the water here, must be why I'm out of character here." That's honestly most of his contribution. Remember the water, because 4 brings it up all the time, and it's very important to the overall solution later. But Boucher, writing the characters as deliberately out of character and then calling attention to the fact multiple times is just not good writing.
Leela does nothing, threatens to stab a few students on campus, the usual. The students who I mentioned earlier are all part of an experiment trying to unlock their psychic abilities. Also there are cops and there was a murder in this one forest years ago. Was that a non-sequitur and has no relevance to what came beforehand? That's exactly how it was in the original story too, despite it being the main crux of the end.
So, things don't happen. 4 investigates the water. It turns out it's normal water and I lied earlier, just like Boucher lied to me the entire book. Why is the Doctor absolutely unhinged? WHO KNOWS. RULE ONE BABY. So why'd we waste over 3/4ths of the book on this? Who knows, it's not even relevant to how he finds the baddie. The villain is asshole college student, who has an underground lair for some reason. He has a time engine and wants to undo his sister's death in that forest years ago. 4 says no because it'll destroy time. Too bad. Ok. 4 is launched into it except he's not and he's actually just floating there except hewirigtkrthrkthgrkrrr
Sorry, I just smashed my face into my keyboard there because my soul temporarily left my body. Then the TARDIS is in the beam for no fucking reason and it saves the day despite receiving no help from him. It led them to this place. Why could it not do this literally any time when they were outside of it to amuse itself? It literally didn't need them at all. Anyway now 4 is safe again except the thing is exploding so now we have to get away and also Leela is here too and also also we need to rescue the guy and oh nope he doesn't want it time to go story over. The ending was as rushed as that last run-on sentence.
Match of the Day: The final Boucher novel. It's also by far the worst. Time for more implausibly idiotic worldbuilding.
So, they land on a planet where murder is entertainment. But, woah, get this guys, what if it was a futuristic world? Like reality TV???? Technology is bad. So we have people who fight in arenas and it's broadcast. Okay cool. They have a manager. And also they can issue some form of challenge that lets them kill others at any time?
This one famous guy, Keefer, is almost assassinated by an android, and we spend more than half the book focusing on whatever inane shit he's doing, which is mainly being edgy. I swear, literally every page in the last quarter has the fake swear word "scuffling" on it. To reflect how scuffling stupid and annoying this is, I will adopt it for the rest of the review on this book.
4 and Leela are immediately arrested for not killing someone, then get taken to jail. They meet Keefer's agent in jail where he's there for allegedly murdering Keefer despite it happening minutes ago but okay whatever. He teaches them basic law somehow, and they're called into the courtroom. In here the judges don't listen to a scuffling word they say and shoot down every argument. They decide to let them go free anyway. Why? Rule 1.
Somehow this was broadcast to everyone despite it not being normal procedure for them and there being nothing different about them at first, and now both of them are celebrities. 4 wants to go back to the TARDIS. Good for you 4, please do. Save us. Nope, we can't, because Queefer's agent asked that we find him and he's sure he's still alive. Hahah okay, what? Guess we're doing that. What does he look like? What does he sound like? Where on the entire scuffling planet is he? Nobody knows, let's find this one dude.
Then we scuffle around for 70 pages and I couldn't tell you a single thing that happened other than it focused more on Keefer than 4 and Leela. Keefer's agent got lobotomized off-screen so uh... in the end it's pointless to even find Keefer? 4 is now more famous and is running a dojo, Leela decides that this is boring and takes a spaceplane to space and... find the guy? For some reason? Despite there not being a clue to this ever and this not being a mystery story? Anyway she's right, but they still can't meet.
One of the people she's there with drugged (?) her and threw her in a private ship and also both these people are apparently dead because?????????????? and it's not explained. She's kept in a zero G area of the ship, and talks to the pilot. 4 realizes she's missing and hunts her down. He tracks her using some baffling plot-convenient logic. He's also made friends with a corrupt cop and a... woman? That's about the only description of her personality I can give. This is a Boucher novel, of course they have no character. They're not even one-dimensional, they're in negative numbers.
Leela lures the guy into the cell, then accidentally breaks his neck. Luckily for her, the ship is fully automatic so why the scuffling fuck did they need a pilot when he even admitted to her he didn't want to be there? Okay whatever. Ship docks with Lady Haiki or something's ship while Leela, like me, sleeps because this is boring as hell. 4 and co have chartered a flight to this same ship.... somehow? They're taken there, meet lady Hitachi, and also Keefer is on her ship too.
She's orchestrated this entire thing and wants Leela and Keefer to duel. They don't. 4 says no and walks off. Scuffling excuse you? They take the plane back. They've had a "kill these people on sight and you receive a reward" placed on their heads. There are 15 pages left in the novel. We go to the dojo, everything is gone. Police man has been selling us out from the start apparently. Ok cool. We ask him to get every famous and powerful person on the planet into the arena to watch the Leela/Keefer match. This works, somehow.
They refuse to fight. 4 is up in the booths with them because ok. His plan is non-existent, just "get these people here." We get no indication what the scuffling hell he planned to do next other than what happens is entirely wrong. Lady Haiki is here, and apparently has been conspiring to end the fighting by killing all the famous fighters and then making it illegal? Presidentman shoots her fucking head off on national TV. He also apparently planned this from the start. What the everloving fuck? He says fighting will be illegal now. So if he agreed with her, why the hell did he just kill her? And then we get the TARDIS back and leave and 4 is going to teach Leela how to play chess :)
Eye of Heaven: Oh boy. This is the third 2/10 on my list.
The chapters are told out of order. Odd chapters before they got on the boat, even chapters while they're on the boat. Basically, if you want a comprehensible account of the story, you have to read every odd chapter, then every even chapter. I didn't, and I'd not even consider it.
We land and 4 meets up with this old acquaintance who we've never met, who has a stone tablet stolen from Easter island, where this one lady's brother died during the expedition to recover it years ago. He feels guilty about it and wants to return it, 4 just casually hires a boat. Also the entire story is told in first person, making it even more confusing. See how I summarized that in one paragraph? Jim Mortimore took a quarter of the book for that.
So then we go on the boat and nothing happens. We keep reading and nothing keeps happening. Good thing we have the timeskips back to earlier chapters! Except nothing is happening there either. Something only begins to happen in odd chapters, and it's dumb.
Odd chapter: Leela and crew member go overboard.
Even chapter: Nothing.
Odd: Leela and man get on an killer whale and steer it back towards the ship.
Even: Nothing
Odd: Leela and man are surviving off raw fish. There's a cyclone. Oh no, how will they survive. Turns out the answer is by killing the killer whale and now hiding in its mouth. Cool.
We hit the halfway point. Now odd chapters are boat stuff, taking up from where we left off, and even chapters are stuff on the island. There are pirates on the island who... want the tablet? Just want to make a nuisance of themselves? So now during odd chapters we deal with that. Apparently they're chasing us.
Even chapter: we're running from pirates, who at this point the audience doesn't know that's why they're running because they haven't been introduced yet. They're in cave systems under the island with the natives, hiding from the attack.
Odd chapter: Nothing happens.
Even Chapter: they're through a portal to an alien world. Why? Explain later.
Odd: Nothing.
Even: Nothing, but on a different planet.
Odd: Nothing.
Even: Apparently this planet is like a junction for some alien race who was in a big war. This is their final weapon and it will deploy when it detects non-alien lifesigns. Where's it deploying? Who against, if the war is over? Rule 1. The woman whose brother died years ago kills this other member of the crew in a murder suicide. Okay, now we just have to carry their bodies out of here and walk out of the Easter Island head which is actually a portal and then the weapon turns off. This is chronologically the end of the story. But don't get too comfortable, there's still one more odd chapter.
Odd: The same lady flings herself off a cliff, but again, this is earlier than the even chapters. We take her to the cave of healing and somehow this makes her better and ties the story together. Don't ask me how, no idea.
Also, the TARDIS is taken off on a separate ship at the start of the story to god knows where. 4 just says "oh haha guess we'll have to hunt it down later." This is left entirely off-screen.
Drift: There's 23 main characters in this book, and you're expected to actually care about them, much less know who they are. Shockingly, nothing happens. There's a native american woman whose character is "wow look, she's tribal and primitive! Just like Leela!" I guess this fits perfectly into 4's era of uncomfortable racism.
Best Audios:
Kill the Doctor!/Age of Sutekh: Easily the best one. Fantastic story, and the Kill the Doctor! cover is one of my favorites. It also has an amazing moment for Tom Baker: "I am the Doctor, and I bring my gift of life to all humanity!" The music, the dlivery, it's all perfect. I could definitely see it being a New Who episode.
How to Win Planets and Influence People: Easily the best short trip I've heard in recent memory.
The Genesis Chamber: A bit overly long, and definitely could have done without the romance subplot.
The King of Sontarr: "would you rather fight 100 Sontaran-sized Sontarans on 1 7 foot tall super-Sontaran."
The Crooked Man: One of the best 4DAs, don't want to spoil the twist though.
Destroy the Infinite: Great story made better by the first chronological (for the Doctor) appearence of the Eminence.
Requiem for the Rocket Men/Death Match: The first half is 4 doing 7 style machinations and generally fun. Leela finds a perfect partner. No spoilers, but he can't come with them so she has to dump him. 4 tells her, "Maybe you should lower your standards a bit." Watching Invasion of Time and god did she take that to heart.
The Mind Runners/The Demon Rises: Nothing I can really say without spoiling it, but it's really solid.
The Crowmarsh Experiment: It's a fairly standard "oh no which reality is real? Is the Doctor all fake????" thing, but it's done well and I like that type of story.
Worst Audios: There aren't many bad audios. BF isn't very ambitious with the 4DAs because they know anything with Tom Baker's face on it is going to sell boatloads, so why bother? Most of them are mediocre, not outright bad.
The Wondourous Box: It's an early short trip, so it's ~10 minutes long. Nothing happens byond the TARDIS getting an Elephant killed.
Doctor Who and the Pescatons: Not BF, but early BBC audio. No sense of sound mixing, plot, pacing, writing, music, or really anything at all. Punctuated by horrific shrill noises, and 4 being even more out of character than usual. In the same vein:
Exploration Earth: The Time Machine: An educational story for kids, except it's stupid. The plot exists only to serve so the villain and the Doctor can monologue about the formation of Earth, and Sarah is an absolute idiot for the audience's benefit.
The Cataclyst/The Child/The Empathy Games/The Time Vampire: The individual stories are servicable, but the overarcing Leela thing is horrendous and I hope the Gallifrey series decanonizes it. It seemed very Heaven Sent, so when I got to the end of Time Vampire I was really disappointed.
The Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos: You knew it was coming. I'm all for experimental stories, but maybe don't have the "nothing happens this time" story be part of the finale? The prose short trips frequently do "we landed and there's nothing here" far better.
Best Short Stories:
The Duke of Dominoes: It's a Master-focused story, and it's great. Not coincidentally, it gets worse when 4 appears.
Observer Effect: There are these people trapped on a long-term space mission, and now they're being killed based off viewer ratings.
Hello Goodbye: The Doctor comes back to UNIT, yells at the brig, then leaves. Surprisingly good, only thing to address the fact he no longer fits in at UNIT.
Worst Short Stories:
The Sands of Tymus: Sarah is captured for a breeding program. 4 is outraged because that's sex slavery. The aliens explain they're just going to clone her a billion times. 4 and Sarah decide this is okay and leave without a complaint. This was in an Annual. As in a story for children.
Conscription: This fetures penis-gourd wearing tribes, I shit you not. Good accidental continuity I guess.
Mutiny: Harry is locked up for munity by calling the Doctor. He lets him out. The whole story is under 4 pages.
The Doctor's Cross Word: The Doctor walks on this elder God's puzzle which spells out Who. He thinks it spells out Ohm because he sees it upside down and is also dumb.
Honestly, there are too many to list.
Comics: All travesties, bar Death Flower, which is legitimately okay. Comic 4 is a raging misoginist and utter dickbag and I don't think anyone involved ever watched TV Who.
Best TV Stories: Gensis of the Daleks: Like everything with 4, grossly overrated. Still good, but honestly, put to better use in the EU as a motivation. "Remember that time you were on Skaro and could have killed them?" "Yeah lmao"
Planet of Evil: I don't love it, but it's pretty okay. The set is beautiful.
Pyramids of Mars: Tom Baker actually acts in this one. A rare occurrence.
The Brain of Morbius: I don't know why S13 did the whole "rip off horror movies for fun" thing, but at least it mostly worked.
The Deadly Assassin: Establishes Gallifrey in a way that's been influential in all future stories. Shame Invasion of Time ruined it.
Robots of Death: Boucher writing a good story is a fluke. See above.
The Sun Makers: Very Doctor Who, though we could have done without the vaguely antisemitic caricature villain.
Worst TV Stories:
All of those not mentioned above. Only half joking. I greatly dislike almost all the other stories. Tom Baker phones in his performance the entire time up to S18 (oops) and you can tell he's just there for the paycheck.
Revenge of the Cybermen: What was their plot? How'd the cybermat get on board? Rule 1.
The Masque of Mandragora: Again, just average. Only good bit is the meme salami sandwich line.
The Hand of Fear: Tolerable, though the best part is Sarah leaving. Not because it's well done, though it is, but because I'm finally rid of her.
Horror of Fang Rock: Despite being the only TV appearance of the Rutans, it only really shows up in part 4.
The Invisible Enemy: Actually can pinpoint the moment where they damage the actual-personality-cortex in his mind. It's all downhill from here.
Image of the Fendahl: Boucher. I just couldn't be arsed to pay attention, and despite seeing it twice before, still didn't understand it. Feat. Jelly Baby skull line that I loathe so much.
Underworld: It's actually a surprisingly okay story, but the visuals are nauseatingly bad.
The Invasion of Time: Better than I remembered. 4 getting up to 7 style manipulations is good, though it all nosedives around part 3. Leela's exit is the worst of all companions and I hate it a lot. She deserved better.
And the big one: The Talons of Weng-Chiang: My least favourite. I know, I know, people love it. One question: why? Looking past the appalling racism, the story just isn't that good. Like Fendahl, I've seen it 3 times now, and it just feels like a fever dream. Details of the plot slip my mind in about 6 seconds, and I just can't bring myself to care. It's 4 parts nothing with a side of racism, and 2 of convoluted nonsense.
Final Thoughts:
My god will I be glad to hit Logopolis. In case I hadn't made it perfectly clear, I hate 4's era. It lacks ambition, character development, and, on TV, decent writing. The Doctor is the meme man, Sarah is 2D, Harry is 0D, Leela is fantastic. Her and Romana are both much better characters than the Doctor himself, yet he treats both of them like shit a lot of the time.
Current Doctor rating:
12/8 > 5 > 6 > 7 > 2 > 11 > 1 > 3 > 9 > War > 13 > 10 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 4
Looking forwards to the fact I only have 5 move novels to read though, I think I only have a few months worth of stuff. Maybe only a month? I also only have a few TV Action comics left before they turn to DWM comics, so that's something to look forward to. I'm definitely going to enjoy the latter half of this era more.
Fun fact to end on: Leela has canonically killed more than 100 people since traveling with the Doctor.
submitted by FunnyNWittyReferenc to doctorwho [link] [comments]


2019.06.30 10:18 Dormin111 Spy boy wanking

In college, I had this class where we were supposed to learn about 19th century upper-class British culture by analyzing hundreds of paintings commissioned and hung in wealthy British estates during that time period. Some insights are surface level, like British people loved to hunt foxes. Other potential insights were hotly debated in class, like whether the presentation of women tended towards subservience or maternalism, or both, or neither, etc.
Either way, it was surprisingly fun, and I enjoyed sort of doing it again with Best. Movie. Year. Ever.: How 1999 Blew Up the Big Screen, by Brian Raftery.
The book examines dozens of 1999’s best movies, ranging from entire chapters dedicated to Blair Witch Project, Fight Club, and Sixth Sense, to brief interludes on American Pie, The Mummy, and Varsity Blues, to passing mentions of many more films. Between the stories, Raftery offers his own nuggets of speculations on the cultural, filmmaking, and business trends that caused 1999 to be such an incredible movie year.

To prove the book’s title, the following is a long, but by no means exhaustive list of the best, most famous, and most influential movies of 1999:
- Fight Club
- The Matrix
- American Beauty
- The Blair Witch Project
- The Talented Mr. Ripley
- The Mummy
- South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
- Office Space
- Magnolia
- Eyes Wide Shut
- Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace
- The Sixth Sense
- Toy Story 2
- Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
- The Green Mile
- Boys Don’t Cry
- Any Given Sunday
- The Iron Giant
- American Pie
- The Insider
- Three Kings
- Girl, Interrupted
- Being John Malkovich
- Sleepy Hollow
- Election
- Pokémon: The First Movie
- Deep Blue Sea
- The Virgin Suicides
- Analyze This
- Rushmore
- Galaxy Quest
- The Thomas Crown Affair
- Varsity Blues
- Cruel Intentions
- 10 Things I Hate About You
- She’s All That
- Big Daddy
- Dogma
- Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
- Mystery Men
- Blast from the Past
- Following
- Go
- SLC Punk

Also, TV shows that began in 1999:
- The Sopranos
- The West Wing
- Family Guy
- Freaks and Geeks
- Batman Beyond
- Who Wants to be A Millionaire
- Roswell
- Courage the Cowardly Dog

It’s also worth listing the biggest news stories of 1999:
- The Columbine High School Massacre
- Impeachment of President Bill Clinton
- Height of the Dot-Com Bubble
- NATO bombs Yugoslavia
- Massive protests against the World Trade Organization (WTO) in Seattle
- JFK Jr dies in a plane crash
- Woodstock ‘99
- The build-up to Y2K

The following are my own insights on the major trends in 1999 based on the book’s descriptions, Raftery’s analysis, and my own speculation from seeing many of these movies. I’ll divide the sections between “Film Trends” and “Cultural Trends.”


Film Trends Big Studios Were Willing to Spend Big Money on Risky Ideas As seen in: Fight Club, The Matrix, The Sixth Sense, Mystery Men, Galaxy Quest, Three Kings, Being John Malkovich, Magnolia, Eyes Wide Shut, The Iron Giant
This is the single most significant and succinct reason that 1999 was such an awesome year for films. Due to a combination of many seen and unseen factors (some of which will be elaborated upon below), the big film studios threw crazy amounts of money at risky projects, a significant percentage of which became classics.
In retrospect, it seems impossible that most of these movies were made at all, let alone with considerable budgets. (For comparison, Star Wars: Episode I had a budget of $150 million.) Eyes Wide Shut was given a budget of $65 million, The Matrix $63 million, Fight Club $60 million, The Sixth Sense $55 million, American Beauty $50 million cost $15 million, Three Kings $48 million, The Iron Giant $48 million, Galaxy Quest $45 million, and Magnolia $35 million. Even Being John Malkovich, which most studios thought was a literal joke, was given $13 million. All of these movies were based either on entirely original scripts or obscure literature.
The biggest budgeted movie of 1999 was Wild Wild West with $170 million. And even though it was backed by Will Smith, one of the biggest stars on the planet, it was pretty bonkers for a big studio movie.
Basically, if most of those movies were made today, they would either be pushed into tiny-budgeted Netflix/Amazon territory, or turned into tv shows. No major studio would give a movie like Fight Club (an inflation adjusted) $92 million today.

Indie-Mainstream Hybrids Reached Their Peak As seen in: All the same movies
According to Raftery, this trend started with Steven Soderbergh’s Sex, Lies, and Videotape in 1989. The Weinsteins at Miramax bought this no-budget indie at the Sundance Film Festival, threw it into theaters, and made $35 million. Then in 1994, the Weinsteins found Pulp Fiction and did the same thing, unleashing not only one of the best-reviewed movies of all time, but grossing an astounding $107 million (10th highest of the year) domestically. This triggered a massive drive of big studios descending on indie festivals (especially Sundance) to try to poach cool small films and flip them for prestige, awards, and box office profits.
This trend was so powerful that it began to reshape the filmscape. Slowly, indies became less… indie. Studios started greenlighting more-and-more small projects, basically trying to make their own indies. Naturally this drove up indie budgets, which led to bigger and better movies. Rising auteurs took advantage of the trend, often making their own tiny legit indies or even short films to catch the attention of the studios, and then getting small-mid level budgets to make their own movies.
1999 seems to be the year when this trend hit its peak. Indie-minded auteurs like Spike Jones, David Fincher, Sam Mendes, the Wachowskis, David O’ Russel, and Brad Bird were actively courted by the major studios and offered boat loads of cash to make scaled-up indie films. David Fincher even told Fox Studios that Fight Club could be a $3 million indie, but it would be so much cooler with $60 million.
Over time, this process would morph into the unfortunate form of “Oscar-bait” and lose its edge. Raftery points to 1999’s Cider House Rules as an early example.

1999 Was the Year of the Screenplay Writer As seen in: The Matrix, American Beauty, Cruel Intentions, Dogma, Office Space, American Pie, The Sixth Sense, Stuart Little, She’s all That, Being John Malkovich
The writers for most modern big budget blockbusters today are typically in-house workmen who are very good at ticking the boxes for marketing, but aren’t auteurs in the cool, artsy sense. Even something like The Avengers isn’t just written by Joss Whedon, but rather goes through dozens of drafts commissioned by the studio. But because of the indie-mainstream hybrid boom in the late 90s, studios relied more on outside talent than ever. Random nobodies like M. Night Shyamalan, Charlie Kaufman, the Wachowskis, and Alan Ball were wandering into Hollywood studio meetings and getting multi-million-dollar sales for their screenplays.
Adam Herz couldn’t figure out what to call his movie, so he handed it to studio execs with the title: Untitled Teenage Sex Comedy That Can Be Made For Under $10 Million That Most Readers Will Probably Hate But I Think You Will Love. He sold the American Pie screenplay for $650,000.

Prequels, Sequels, and Remakes Had Yet to Take Over As seen in: 1999 Box Office Records
I didn’t count, but according to Raftery, there were about 12 sequel and remake films in 1999, compared to 30+ for a normal year in the 2000s.
Granted, Star Wars: Episode I, Toy Story 2, Austin Powers 2, and The World is Not Enough were all big hits… but that’s pretty much it. I guess The Mummy and Wild Wild West are technically remakes, but their source material is so obscure they shouldn’t count.
Raftery attributes this trend both to audience desire for indie creativity, and to some high-profile sequel/remake commercial and critical failures from the last few years, including Batman Forever, Godzilla, and Lost in Space.

Nobody Could Predict Commercial or Critical Hits As seen in: The Matrix, The Mummy, The Sixth Sense, The Blair Witch Project, American Beauty, Big Daddy, American Pie, She’s All That, Analyze This, Three Kings
Studio execs were consistently baffled by what did and didn’t make money. Most WB execs admitted that they literally didn’t understand what The Matrix was about, but despite being R-rated, it was the 5th highest grossing film of the year. The Mummy, despite having a sizeable budget, was assumed to be a bomb throughout production since it would have to compete in the same month with Star Wars, but it ended up being the 8th highest grossing of the year. M Night Shyamalan prayed that The Sixth Sense would recoup its $55 million budget so he would be allowed to make another movie, and then it ended up being the 2nd highest grossing movie of the year, only behind Star Wars. And The Blair Witch Project is still the most successful movie of all time on a budget-to-revenue basis.
Maybe the best indication of 1999’s film quality is that critics were so split on its best movies. Some people thought Fight Club was generation-defining, others thought it was juvenile edge-lord bullshit. Some people thought American Beauty was the most incisive look at American society in decades, while others thought (and many still think) the movie was a pretentious wank fest. Some thought Magnolia was one of the most beautifully ambitious films of all time, others thought it was a display of blatant auteur hubris (where do the frogs come from?). Some thought The Blair Witch Project was the scariest movie of all time, other people were literally vomiting in theaters.
According to Raftery, the only major films which received and sustained universal critical acclaim were Being John Malkovich and The Sixth Sense.

Audiences Loved Twist Endings, Time Lapsing, or Just Any Super Weird Narratives As seen in: The Sixth Sense, Fight Club, Run Lola Run, Following, Being John Malkovich, Magnolia, Eyes Wide Shut, The Blair Witch Project, Go, Julien Donkey Boy, The Limey
1999 is full of movies which bend, break, or annihilate traditional narrative structures. Not only did critics appreciate the avant-garde streak, but studios figured out that audiences can really love this weird artsy stuff too.
Raftery attributes a lot of this trend to Pulp Fiction which redefined the narrative landscape in 1994. Suddenly lots of movies operated outside regular time flow, like Following (Christopher Nolan’s first movie), Go, Run Lola Run, and The Limey. At the same time, Fight Club and The Sixth Sense had two of the best twist endings of all time. Meanwhile, insane people like Spike Jones and Paul Thomas Anderson were making indescribably bonkers movies like Being John Malkovich and Magnolia.
I guess the late 90s had some sort of happy confluence of creative filmmakers, excited audiences, and unusually risk-tolerant executives, which all came together to produce a slate of daring movies.

The Rise of the Internet As seen in: The Blair Witch Project, Star Wars: Episode I, The Iron Giant, Wild Wild West, The Matrix
The internet was still being adopted by normies at the end of the 90s, but 1999 seems to be the precise year when it started to have a big impact on the film industry.
Star Wars: Episode I was the epicenter of the first truly internet-wide war as supporters and detractors of George Lucas argued whether the movie was complete garbage or merely mediocre. Studio execs blamed stupid nerds for tanking Wild Wild West after leaked special effects shots were shared before release. On the other hand, Brad Bird’s Iron Giant was almost single-handedly saved by online fans who built hype for the film as it languished in development hell.
But undoubtedly the most internet-impacted film of 1999 was The Blair Witch Project, whose marketers more-or-less invented online guerrilla marketing. They invented fake blair witch legends, put up fake wesbites, made fake documentaries, and even hung up MISSING posters of the cast members on college campuses. By the time the movie released, the studio estimated that 50% of The Blair Witch Project viewers thought the footage was real.

1999 Was The Last Teen Movie Boom As seen in: American Pie, 10 Things I Hate About You, She’s All That, Cruel Intentions, Election, Varsity Blues, Never Been Kissed, O, Dick, Superstar
Not all trends are due to some deep shift in the zeitgeist; sometimes tastes just cycle. According to Raftery, teen movies had their peak in the 1980s with John Hughes, then completely crashed in the early 90s (try to think of an early-mid 90s teen movie), but then Dawson’s Creek and Buffy the Vampire Slayer led a revival in the late 90s. Studios found that teen movies were cheap and low-risk, so they went on a production spree.
1999 teen movies are notable for being edgy but earnest. 10 Things I hate About You has a strong neo-feminist backbone, Varsity Blues was a somber look at high school sports and student pressure, and American Pie greatly pushed the bounds of teen sex on film. Arguably Cruel Intentions was even more extreme, featuring suggestions of quasi-incest, and a straight-up lesbian make-out session. Election is a more nihilistic Fight Club/American Beauty-ish take on the interactions of teen and adult life, which IMO, is still super underrated.
However, the most financially successful of all these edgy, daring, genre-defining movies was She’s All That, which is easily the cheesiest among them (it originated the “a girl is ugly until she takes off her glasses” trope). Though, amusingly, it was heavily re-written by M. Night Shyamalan to get out of a shitty contract with the Weinsteins.
In retrospect, 1999 was probably the final crest of teen movie quality. After that point the only classic teen movies I can think of are Superbad, Mean Girls, and maybe Easy A, but all three are spread throughout the following 20 years. It seems like audiences got overwhelmed by the teen movie deluge, culminating in 2001’s underrated Not Another Teen Movie.

“Black Movies” Established a Niche outside “The Hood” As seen in: The Best Man, The Woods
Raftery notes two small-mid budget films that were written, directed, and starred almost exclusively by black people, both of which quadrupled their production budgets at the box office.
In each instance, the production studios supposedly picked up the films to have a “black movie” on their roster, thereby making the studio look woke (in modern parlance). The executives all thought the movies would have trouble making money because black audiences don’t watch middle-classish movies, and white audiences don’t watch black movies, but The Best Man and The Woods ended up being sleeper hits any way. The former’s director, Malcolm Lee, says the same studio sentiment exists to this day, with his 2017 Girl’s Trip becoming an unexpected sleeper hit.

Romantic Comedies Were Still a Thing As seen in: Runaway Bride, She’s All That, Never Been Kissed, Mickey Blue Eyes, Notting Hill, Forces of Nature, Message in a Bottle, The Bachelor, Blast from the Past, Three to Tango
Isn’t it weird how rom-coms sort of died? I mean, they still exist, but they seem mostly relegated to minor releases on Netflix and Amazon Prime now. I can’t remember the last rom-com box office hit; maybe those two “fuck buddy” movies? At best, quirky rom-coms like The Big Sick have a presence on the indie scene, but mainstream audiences don’t seem to care about rom-coms anymore.
There were no classic rom-coms in 1999 (maybe Notting Hill is the closest?), but the genre was still alive and well. In one of the biggest box office years ever up until that point, there were plenty of straight-forward decently successful rom-coms, the top of which was Runaway Bride, the 10th highest grossing movie of the year.
I’m not a rom-com fan so I don’t consider the decline of the genre to be a tragedy. But for what it’s worth, 1999’s Blast from the Past is probably my second favorite rom-com ever (behind Punch Drunk Love). It’s another super underrated movie, and is maybe the only non-religious, pro-cultural conservative movie I can think of.

TOM CRUISE!!! As seen in: Eyes Wide Shut, Magnolia, almost every other movie in 1999
Every single film production meeting in 1999 had a moment where some executive suggested getting Tom Cruise in the movie. It didn’t matter how big or small the movie was: execs floated getting Tom Cruise to play “Neo” in The Matrix and “Laurence” in Office Space. New Line was so desperate to keep Paul Thomas Anderson around after Boogie Nights that they gave him carte blanche for Magnolia, which included buying him Tom Cruise.



Cultural Trends
Everyone Hated Comfortable Middle-Class Existence As seen in: Fight Club, The Matrix, American Beauty, Office Space, Being John Malkovich, Election, Cruel Intentions, SLC Punk
There were a lot of excellent comments on this here, but I’ll try to encapsulate.
Based on a lot of 1999’s best movies, there was a sense that the American life was hollow. People imagined this template of a large suburban house, a white picket fence, pristine interior design, a steady well-paid office job, a decently attractive wife, and 1-2 moody kids, as the apex of civilization. This was the thing that we, all of humanity, had been working towards throughout all of history. It was the ultimate prize that the masses could ever hope to achieve – safety, security, wealth, comfort, and companionship. By the late 90s, this vision was in our grasp. The Cold War was over, the stock market was booming, everyone was getting their own computers, and so it seemed like humanity had achieved its apex of existence.
And apparently it sucked.
Many of 1999’s best movies are about people “trapped” in this lifestyle. The best part of Lester Burnham’s day is jerking off in the shower. Peter Gibbons considers every day of work to be the worst day of his life. The narrator loathes himself for being excited to flip through an Ikea catalogue. Jim McAllister envies his disgraced coworker because he got to have sex with one of his high school students. Thomas Anderson is so bored and detached that reality itself feels metaphysically unreal.
These are the realities of the supposedly perfect middle-class white-collar suburban family-oriented existence. It’s a whole bunch of people (usually men) feeling bored, unsatisfied, and especially meaningless. They all did what they were supposed to (went to college, got a job, got married, got a house, etc.) and basically completed life. And they found nothing at its end. No excitement, no deep value, no meaning, just going through the same motions as everyone else in a well-worn mold.
That’s what these movies are about. They’re about the deep existential misery of doing everything right but being unfulfilled. They’re about realizing that the things that are supposed to bring you happiness can become straight-jackets.
I think all the listed movies focus on a different aspect of this core theme. Fight Club focuses on the loss of masculinity, Office Space on corporate work culture, American Beauty on the family, Being John Malkovich on the suppression of passion, The Matrix on existentialism, Election on sexual unfulfillment, etc. Some great comments from the previously linked thread really nailed it:
u/venusisupsidedown:

Interestingly three big movies came out in 1999 about the weird feeling of wrongness one gets from a routine of getting up, going to work and building a comfortable and safe middle class life. All three present some kind of fantasy of how one might escape.
For the artsy hollywood types there was American Beauty. This was about the fantasy of saying fuck it, giving up your boring office career, smoking pot and realising that you could have fucked the hot cheerleader all along (but don't since you're too moral for that)…
For the edge lord intellectuals we have Fight Club…
Finally, for everyone else there was The Matrix. The Matrix got to the point the most effectively (my opinion on this was largely cribbed from this podcast). Morpheus explicitly tells Neo during the pill scene, yeah you can wake up and see what a prison society is and drop out, really understand how artificial and fake all your achievements are. It means though that you give up everything. Every creature comfort and safety net and all of the stability you get from this system. That's the trade you make to be come and reclaim your masculinity.
u/Faceh
But at the same time [Office Space] tapped into the culture's spite for office jobs and encapsulated the misery that is submitting to a meaningless 9 to 5 job under a boss that you hate with co-workers you mostly don't get along with all while knowing full well that you're a replaceable cog. And of course the wish-fulfillment fantasy of saying "screw this" and just checking out to go do what you want and then really sticking it to the man by getting rich by scamming them for a couple hundred thousand dollars.
So it resonated.
u/JTarrou
I too noticed the pattern of movies that venus notes in this thread. They all had an impact, that was a big year for me. But by far, my favorite was Fight Club.
Two years after that film dropped, I dropped out of college, joined the Army, and found that there really is gold at the end of that rainbow. There really is fulfillment and purpose and bonds that strain the definitions of "friendship". All you have to give up is everything you thought you liked and needed. It's not the military specifically, which is mostly a fetid bureaucracy of such scale of incompetence it beggars belief. But it is the vehicle that will put a man in combat, and that will bind him to the other men with him, and should he see combat and meet the challenge, it will change him forever. Everything a man does in life, sport and work and civic engagement is all just a tiny, pale substitute for what he's supposed to be doing. Combat has a way of sandblasting one's character down to the sliver of essential-ness. You find out who you really are, what you really need, and who will give it to you.
There has been a lot of backlash against these movies and themes in recent years, with modern critics considering the “heroes” of these movies to be privileged, entitled, and winy, but I think that perspective completely lacks empathy. To me, these movies present the ultra-empowering message that you control your own life. No matter who you are, what you’re doing, or what inertia you’re trapped in, you always have the ability to steer your life to where you want it to be. Granted, there are plenty of terrible ways to steer your life (I do not condone joining fight clubs or blackmailing your corporate boss) but there are always better paths available. You just need the willpower to find them.

Everyone Thought Marriage Sucked As seen in: American Beauty, Being John Malkovich, Double Jeopardy, Story of Us, Fight Club, Election, Eyes Wide Shut, Magnolia, The Insider, Varsity Blues
I didn’t dig into the statistics, but Raftery notes that American divorce rates spiked in the 1980s, during a cultural shift towards empowering women and the aftermath of the sexual revolution. The filmmakers of the late 90s were the children of these divorced parents. So it’s no surprise that so many 1999 movies were about unsteady or crumbling marriages.
To me, 1999 feels like a flare-up of the long-winding post-1950s cultural attitude towards marriage. The 1950s placed the strength of a traditional marriage and family life at the heart of society, as displayed in tv shows like Leave it To Beaver, Father Knows Best, and I Love Lucy. Even into the 90s, this was still the mainstream portrayal of families with shows like The Cosby Show, Home Improvement, and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. But then came along subversive shows like The Simpsons and Married with Children which pushed back on the idyllic family images. They portrayed fathers as plodding, clueless, and clearly not satisfied with their lot in life, while wives tended to be bored and frustrated. It may seem quaint and broad today, but Married with Children’s Al Bundy was something of a proto-Lester Burnham.
More proximately, the biggest scandal of 1999 was President Bill Clinton cheating on his wife with a young intern. The most clean-cut, refined, presentable husband and wife in America were having marital problems for all to see.
By 1999, it seems like the idolization of the family had broken down in popular culture and a Simpsonized portrayal had taken hold. The big movies of the year further explored this territory by looking at marriages that started as the ideal but had eroded under the realities of life.
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman are two of the hottest people on earth, but they’re a sexually frustrated couple in Eyes Wide Shut. Lester and his wife in American Beauty appear perfect to their neighbors, but have a sexless, hollow marriage which leads the husband to constantly fantasize about his teenage daughter’s friend, and the wife to cheat with her business competitor. The protagonist couple in Being John Malkovich both fall in love with the husband’s co-worker, and they end up body-jumping in their attempts to seduce her. Even the unmarried narrator of Fight Club laments his father for leaving his mother to start new families in multiple cities like he’s “setting up franchises.”
A particularly interesting case is The Insider. Michael Mann’s movie is based on the true story of a big tobacco executive who becomes a whistleblower against his industry. Arguably the main antagonist in the movie is the exec’s wife, who urges her husband to not speak out against his employer out of fear that he will lose his affluent lifestyle. In a story packed with corporate intrigue, media analysis, fights between old and new culture, etc., Mann decided to focus much of the narrative on the protagonist’s marriage.

Everyone Was Intrigued by What Future Technology Would Do to Society As seen in: The Matrix, eXistenZe, The Thirteenth Floor, Deep Blue Sea, EDtv, Bicentennial Man, Virus, Being John Malkovich
There’s a good case to be made that the late 90s were the biggest leap forward in mass-consumer technology ever. Between the rise of personal computing and the internet, everyone had this infinitely large, complex world unfurl before them, and apparently a lot of people had no idea what would happen. A lot of 1999’s sci fi movies are explorations of the technological possibilities of these trends, with varying degrees of predictive accuracy.
The Matrix is about all of humanity being enslaved by rouge AIs who keep their human batteries happy by locking them in a computer-simulated dream world. In eXistenZe, a VR world is so realistic that pro-reality extremists try to destroy it. Both movies, along with The Thirteenth Floor and Being John Malkovich speculate on how the concept of “identity” might break down as we transition more of our lives from a static real world to an infinitely fluid digital one.
It’s notable that most of these movies were fairly optimistic about technology. Even though The Matrix shows a worst-case-scenario, it also displays technology as a source of personal empowerment to make yourself who you want to be, and as a means of finding genuine, like-minded communities. Both ideas undoubtedly resonated with the directors of The Matrix, a pair of (future) trans women.

People Wondered If They Were in the Pre-Apocalypse As seen in: Fight Club, Magnolia, End of Days, The Matrix, Blast From the Past
While people were broadly optimistic about technology, there were a decent number of movies which included the apocalypse, or something like it. This was undoubtedly related to fears over Y2K, whether of the hokey religious/new age variety, or the apparently legitimate computer bug sort.
The 2000s have been dominated by post-apocalypse films/video games/tv shows, like Hunger Games, Walking Dead, Fallout, Mad Max, etc. But 1999 was focused more on the pre-apocalypse. Fight Club showed the downtrodden forces which fight back against a decadent society by blowing up credit card companies and wiping the debt record clean. Though The Matrix actually took place in the post-apocalypse, its focus was on the computer-generated simulation of the pre-apocalypse and the complacency which led to its downfall. More abstractly, Magnolia concludes with a shower of frogs falling from the sky for no reason which inexorably alters the lives of its many characters.

Americans Loved and Feared Violence As seen in: The Matrix, Fight Club, American Beauty, O, 8MM
Raftery mixes brief forays into news stories between his movie summaries to provide some current affairs context to what cinema-goers were thinking about. By far the most impactful news story of the year was the Columbine High School massacre.
In the aftermath of the school shooting, the biggest question on everyone’s mind was “why?” Naturally, a lot of pundits turned to youth culture for an explanation. Suddenly the 90s were being recast as a decade of extreme violence and moral degeneration. Kids spent all their time listening to weirdo Marilyn Manson and watching ultra-violent Pulp Fiction. The US Congress even launched a series of formal investigations into the causal link between violent movies and youth crime. Columbine would hang heavily over the rest of the year and impact how films were made by studios and received by audiences and critics.
While it’s easy to look back and mock the moral panic, the unprecedented horror of Columbine caused understandable distress, especially when a film-influence on the killers was at least plausible. The black leather trench coats worn by the killers was reminiscent of The Matrix (which was in theaters at the time), and Heathers and Basketball Diaries were two recent high-profile movies which featured school shootings.
Though Congress never ended up passing any violent movie laws, spooked movie studios took the investigations as a message to get their houses in order. A lot of movies featuring youth violence were cancelled. O, a completed teen movie based on Shakespeare’s Othello, was shelved and not released until 2001.
Critically, many violent releases in 1999 (especially those featuring teens) received colder receptions than they otherwise would have. Fight Club was especially hit hard by accusations of promoting exactly the sort of nihilism that the Columbine killers embraced. The film may even have gotten a delayed release in anticipation of the controversy.

Americans Were Still Figuring Out Sexual Liberation As seen in: Cruel Intentions, Election, American Pie, American Beauty, The Virgin Suicides, Eyes Wide Shut, Boys Don’t Cry, Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, Never Been Kissed
1999 was a big year for putting taboo sexuality on screen.
Cruel Intentions had a much-publicized lesbian make out featuring the most beloved teen actress on earth (Sarah Michelle Geller), and suggested quasi-incest. American Beauty and Election featured older men fantasizing and having sex with young female students. American Pie was packed with unprecedented horny teen debauchery and, of course, fucking a pie. Eyes Wide Shut had two of the most recognizable actors in the world going to orgies and talking about open marriages. Boys Don’t Cry was about a trans man pretending to be a cis man to seduce a woman, and had hardcore-enough sex scenes to receive an NC-17 rating on its first cut.
(Even Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo is kind of edgy with its male prostitution, amputee female love interest, and take on what drives female sexual frustration.)
I was seven-years-old in 1999 so I don’t have much of a sense of what the sexual cultural mores were at the time. But the year’s films seemed like an attempted to push them further.

There Was Something Weird Going on With Religion As seen in: Dogma, End of Days, Stigmata, The Matrix
I’m not sure what to say about this except that 1999 had quite a few weird movies which used Christian imagery, themes, and theology for horror, action, and fantasy stories. Maybe these movies were early examples of subversion of mainstream religious views; possibly precursors to the “religion vs. atheism” internet wars of the early 2000s.

LGTBQ+ Wasn’t Mainstream, but It Was Right Beneath the Surface As seen in: American Beauty, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Fight Club, Girl Interrupted, Magnolia, Cruel Intentions, Being John Malkovich, The Matrix, Blast from the Past, Boys Don’t Cry
I thought this was one of the most interesting trends I found in the 1999 movies. With one exception, there were no notable 1999 movies directly about queer identities, but there were tons of movies with queer subtext or themes on the margins.
The Talented Mr. Ripley, Fight Club, and Girl Interrupted are all quite homoerotic with their highly intimate same sex friendships at the centers of the narrative. American Beauty and Magnolia both have closeted gay characters who are simultaneously terrified of being outed but crave recognition for their true selves. Cameron Diaz’s character in Being John Malkovich unexpected falls in love with another woman, and after test driving Malkovich’s body, briefly declares herself to be a trans man. And while it was mostly played for salaciousness, Cruel Intentions broke boundaries with its hot lesbian kiss, especially since both characters were straight (ish).
The big exception to the rule was Boys Don’t Cry, which was genuinely ahead of its time with the true story of a trans man who was raped and murdered in Texas after his trans status was revealed. Prior to Boys Don’t Cry, trans people tended to be portrayed in films as crazy/manipulative villains, like in Silence of the Lambs, Crying Game, and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.
The other interesting case was The Matrix, which upon release didn’t seem to have a queer element besides one minor character who is implied to be trans (Switch). But with both Wachowskis coming out as trans women years after the film’s release, it’s easy to read The Matrix as a trans narrative.
Through 1999’s filmscape, I think I can see that queer issues were bubbling right beneath the surface in American society. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was passed in 1993, and gay marriage legalization was still a fairly marginal view, especially outside of deep blue territory. So while queerness wasn’t brought to the artistic forefront in the way it is now (by my count, 4/10 Best Picture nominees in 2018 have prominent queer characters/themes, 3/10 for 2017), queerness was just starting to go mainstream in 1999.
submitted by Dormin111 to TheMotte [link] [comments]


2018.12.03 12:58 StopHavingAnOpinion Boy spy wanking

In star wars, the common theme is that the 'Jedi' are the 'good' and the 'Sith' are the bad, which is up for debate, but for the most part, both are complete nutjobs who seek their own desires, the Sith are pent up with power and fetishistic desires for conflict, while the Jedi are corruptible, morally lacking assholes who will do whatever they wish to see that the 'Sith' gain no ground.
I shall cover Anakin Skywalker for this short 'thesis', if you will.
Anakin was a slave boy from Tatooine, and because of pure plot armour and shit luck, he got the attention of a Jedi, Qui-Gon Jin, who aided him in 'winning' against slavery, and who decided his Midichlorian count was too high to simply ignore.
This is just general background for those not to familiar with the star wars universe.
By the end of episode 1, we see Qui-Gon tell Obi-Wan to promise him to train Anakin, not only had this been denied before, as Anakin was too old to conduct training.
Still, the Jedi council, while at first being against the idea of training Anakin, decided soon enough that 'Qui-Gon's word' was good enough, according to Obi-Wan.
The Jedi order had rules in place for a reason, those too old were often unstable mentally and were more vulnerable to be selfish and turn to the Dark Side.
So why was Anakin trained? because of petty Nepotism? Because a friend of the council 'said so'?
This suggests the council, despite being holier than thou, chose to ignore their own fucking rules because someone who had been influential made a final request.
Surely then, corruption was ripe, especially for those who the council liked.
Anakin had been a faithful and fruitful Jedi in the Clone Wars, had conducted many missions, stopped evil at practically every turn he got involved in, see the Clone Wars series for more of this.
The council frequently talked shit, and often hid information from Anakin. How could he, therefore, trust them?
His own Apprentice, Ahsoka Tano, had been accused of the crime of being a separatist against the Republic, they council knew she was not. They had proof she was not, this is clearly referenced in the fact that when she was put on trial, Anakin had stated:
"You've already made your decision, haven't you?"
All this is order to protect the council from the fact that the true assailant had been a Sith who had fundamental issues with the Republic.
It took the intervention of Anakin to conduct his own investigation to figure out the truth, and funnily enough, when the sith had been rid of, suddenly, the guilt no longer lay with Ashoka. Despite being allowed back into the council, she refused, probably thinking to herself, as Anakin would say later "I see through the lies of the Jedi".
We see later, in the 'climax' of Anakins turning, that he was denied the rank of master, while also being on the council.
How dare they?
This is the first time, in the history of the council, that someone has been on the Jedi council, but denied the rank of master? Anakin was right to call it outrageous, and only later to find out its true meaning. Oh boy.
It turns out that Anakin, in a conversation with Obi-Wan, was not made into the council because of his deeds or achievements, but rather because of his relationship with the Chancellor.
All to find out what the Chancellor was secretly up to, if anything.
What absolute corrupt power hungry shit peddling wank merchants. You ask to spy on a democratically elected Chancellor because he had 'overstayed' his term? Despite the fact the senate had said they wanted him to. What gives you the right?
Anakin slowly became seduced by the idea of Chancellor and the dark side, by tempting him with not only the fate of Padame, but also the idea that the Jedi could not be trusted. Which was absolutely right. Later on Master Windu himself dictated that he was too dangerous to be left alive, and all of a sudden, the 'democracy' and 'trials' the Jedi loved didn't matter.
The Jedi were of course, correct, Palpatine had intended to take power, but at what cost would the Jedi have been willing to go against to prove their point?
Suddenly deciding certain innocent people could be imprisoned? Disregarding law for the sake of killing someone who was too powerful? Disregarding your own rules? Keeping secrets from your (previously) loyal members?
This concludes my statement. The Jedi were the assholes in the star wars Universe, if they had been honest and not been lying, manipulative bastards as presented through the films, books, and different series' shown, maybe Anakin would have turned out differently, maybe even not a Jedi at all, if they had listened to their own rules which dictated they should not have made them one.
In the short story, Oreintation, we see Darth vader, concluding his mind on what the Jedi believed and how they treated who had been Anakin at the time, and he was absolutely right.
The Jedi deserved their fate.
submitted by StopHavingAnOpinion to copypasta [link] [comments]


2018.09.21 17:14 xboxg4mer .

Okie dokie artichokie. People are reading "Culture of Critique". Depression XD depression. I'm still alive. k, and what about it. I'm working on a Johnny Test fanfiction rn. I'm in Bois, well I'm in depression. Girls ask boys ask girls. Can I get an F for my selfie thread. Excuse me what the fuck, was that a freshman with big titties. Okie dokie artichoke me. That's going in too buckaroo. Banangle baningle you are still single. Tell us about it. Wonder how long this'll last. "Please daddeey fuck my ass". hewwoh r swash ttn, i wuv you :3. PHANPOO. Waluigi forgot to attend school the day he had planned to shoot up the school. He felt sad and decided to isolate himself from the world. He thought that no one would miss him. He WAS just an extra character to fill up space as Wario's partner after all. Not even the players realized how much he meant to them until he went missing in Mario Kart 7. Players rose up to give Waluigi the attention he deserved, but it was too late. After Waluigi had been absent for MK7 Nintendo gave him one last chance with MK8 before throwing him back into Party and sports games. They refused to put him in Smash as a fighter. Waluigi got depressed. Not even for Wario's new game was he welcome. He got a slimmer of hope when Wario called him before release, but he got the call closed in his face. No one loved Waluigi. He became depressed. He did. ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡸⠱⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣴⠖⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⡆⢀⢀⢠⠃⢀⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⠋⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⢁⡇⢀⢠⠏⢀⢀⢹ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁⢀⣼⠁⣠⠏⢀⢀⢀⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣾⡿⠋⢀⣼⡿⠁⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁⢀⢀⢰⢏⡼⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡇ ⢀⢀⣾⢀⢀⢀⣼⡿⠋⢀⢀⢀⣿⠃⣀⣠⣶⠿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡿⠋⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⠃⢀⣀⣠⠤⠖⠚⠋⢉⡭⠋ ⢀⣼⣿⢀⣠⣿⠟⠁⢀⢀⢀⠘⠛⠛⠋⠉⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠮⠒⠋⠁⢀⢀⢀⣠⠔⠁ ⢀⡇⢻⣰⡿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁ ⢸⠃⠈⠟⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡾⠋ ⢸⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣴⠋ ⢸⡄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡾⠁ ⢀⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⢠⡞ ⢀⢳⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣉⡉⢉⡟ ⢀⠘⣄⣀⣀⣤⣤⢀⡇⠰⠶⠶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⠶⠶⠶⢀⢀⢀⣼⠿⠟⠛⠿⡿ ⢀⢀⢳⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡇⢀⢀⡠⠊⠁⣀⣀⠈⠑⣄⢀⢀⢀⣰⡡⠤⠠⢄⣰⠃ ⢀⢀⠈⢏⣉⣀⣀⣸⡇⢀⠸⢀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⢀⠘⡄⢀⢠⠏⢠⣤⣤⢀⠹ ⢀⡰⠊⠉⠑⡄⢀⢸⠇⢀⢃⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⢀⠃⢀⣾⢀⣿⣿⣿⢀⢀⠇ ⢀⠃⠈⠉⢣⠘⠤⠼⢀⢀⠈⢄⢀⠈⠉⠁⢀⣠⠎⢀⡘⠸⡀⠙⠛⠁⢀⢼⡄ ⢀⡀⢀⠐⠎⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠁⠐⠒⠒⠈⢀⢀⢀⠧⠤⢬⠒⢀⠂⠁⢀⢳ ⢀⠁⠐⠒⠂⠉⠁⠢⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠒⠤⢤⣀⣀⣐⣒⣒⣉⡠⠤⠂⢀⡴⠃ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠙⢲⣤⣀⡀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠉⠉⠁⢀⣀⣤⠞⠉ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣦⣬⣇⠈⠉⢿⡒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠚⠛⠉ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠸⣿⣷⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣷⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠚⢻⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣹⣟⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡘⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡇⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣦⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡝⠉⠉⠉⢀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣇⢠⢠⢀⣾⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⢸⢸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠘⣾⢸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⣹⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⢓⣤⣀⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠤⠤⠤⠽⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢒⣒⣂⣀⣉⣦⡀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⢸⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⡉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠒⠒⠊ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠇⢀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⢀⠠⡇A spectwe is haunting Euwope – the spectwe of communyism. Aww the powews of owd Euwope have entewed into a howy awwiance to exowcise this spectwe: Pope and Tsaw, Mettewnyich and Guizot, Fwench Wadicaws and Gewman powice-spies. Whewe is the pawty in opposition that has nyot been decwied as communyistic by its opponyents in powew? Whewe is the opposition that has nyot huwwed back the bwanding wepwoach of communyism, against the mowe advanced opposition pawties, as weww as against its weactionyawy advewsawies? Two things wesuwt fwom this fact: I. Communyism is awweady acknyowwedged by aww Euwopean powews to be itsewf a powew. II. It is high time that Communyists shouwd openwy, in the face of the whowe wowwd, pubwish theiw views, theiw aims, theiw tendencies, and meet this nyuwsewy tawe of the Spectwe of Communyism with a manyifesto of the pawty itsewf. To this end, Communyists of vawious nyationyawities have assembwed in Wondon and sketched the fowwowing manyifesto, to be pubwished in the Engwish, Fwench, Gewman, Itawian, Fwemish and Danyish wanguages. I. Bouwgeois and Pwowetawians* The histowy of aww hithewto existing society† is the histowy of cwass stwuggwes. Fweeman and swave, patwician and pwebeian, wowd and sewf, guiwd-mastew‡ and jouwnyeyman, in a wowd, oppwessow and oppwessed, stood in constant opposition to onye anyothew, cawwied on an unyintewwupted, nyow hidden, nyow open fight, a fight that each time ended, eithew in a wevowutionyawy weconstitution of society at wawge, ow in the common wuin of the contending cwasses. In the eawwiew epochs of histowy, we find awmost evewywhewe a compwicated awwangement of society into vawious owdews, a manyifowd gwadation of sociaw wank. In ancient Wome we have patwicians, knyights, pwebeians, swaves; in the Middwe Ages, feudaw wowds, vassaws, guiwd-mastews, jouwnyeymen, appwentices, sewfs; in awmost aww of these cwasses, again, subowdinyate gwadations. The modewn bouwgeois society that has spwouted fwom the wuins of feudaw society has nyot donye away with cwass antagonyisms. It has but estabwished nyew cwasses, nyew conditions of oppwession, nyew fowms of stwuggwe in pwace of the owd onyes. Oppan Gangnam style Gangnam style Najeneun ttasaroun inganjeogin yeoja Keopi hanjanui yeoyureul aneun pumgyeok inneun yeoja Bami omyeon simjangi tteugeowojineun yeoja Geureon banjeon inneun yeoja Naneun sanai Najeneun neomankeum ttasaroun geureon sanai Keopi sikgido jeone one-shot ttaerineun sanai Bami omyeon simjangi teojyeobeorineun sanai Geureon sanai Areumdawo sarangseureowo Geurae neo hey geurae baro neo hey Areumdawo sarangseureowo Geurae neo hey geurae baro neo hey Jigeumbuteo gal dekkaji gabolkka Oppan Gangnam style Gangnam style Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Gangnam style Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Eh-eh-eh, eh-eh-eh Jeongsukhae boijiman nol ttaen noneun yeoja Ittaeda sipeumyeon mukkeotdeon meori puneun yeoja Garyeotjiman wenmanhan nochulboda yahan yeoja Geureon gamgakjeogin yeoja Naneun sanai Jeomjanha boijiman nol ttaen noneun sanai Ttaega doemyeon wanjeon michyeobeorineun sanai Geunyukboda sasangi ultungbultunghan sanai Geureon sanai Areumdawo sarangseureowo Geurae neo, hey, geurae baro neo, hey Areumdawo sarangseureowo Geurae neo, hey, geurae baro neo, hey Jigeumbuteo gal dekkaji gabolkka Oppan Gangnam style Gangnam style Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Gangnam style Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Eh-eh-eh, eh-eh-eh Ttwineun nom geu wie naneun nom Baby, baby Naneun mwol jom aneun nom Ttwineun nom geu wie naneun nom Baby, baby Naneun mwol jom aneun nom You know what I'm saying Oppan Gangnam style Eh-eh-eh, eh-eh-eh Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Eh-eh-eh, eh-eh-eh Oppan Gangnam style [English translation:] Uncle is Gangnam style Gangnam style A girl who is warm and humanly during the day A classy girl who knows how to enjoy the freedom of a cup of coffee A girl whose heart gets hotter when night comes A girl with that kind of twist I'm a guy A guy who is as warm as you during the day A guy who one-shots his coffee before it even cools down A guy whose heart bursts when night comes That kind of guy Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Now let's go until the end Uncle is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Uncle is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Uncle is Gangnam style Eh sexy lady Uncle is Gangnam style Eh sexy lady A girl who looks quiet but plays when she plays A girl who puts her hair down when the right time comes A girl who covers herself but is more sexy than a girl who bares it all A sensible girl like that I'm a guy A guy who seems calm but plays when he plays A guy who goes completely crazy when the right time comes A guy who has bulging ideas rather than muscles That kind of guy Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Now let's go until the end Uncle is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Uncle is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Uncle is Gangnam style Sometimes I like to sneak into the attic with my mummy's iPad to play Minecraft, one time I saw a hot boobie mod for Minecraft and decided to install it - later I saw a super duper uber hot sexy skin with big boobiez, it made my pee pee hard and I begin to touch it, then my sister came into the attic and saw me poking my now enlarged member, she then kissed my forehead and began putting her mouth over it, it felt good and then I peed white sticky stuff in her mouth (which she swallowed), I then began to cry and begged her not to tell Mom and Dad that I peed myself, she told me not to worry - it'll just be our secret. Next time Mom and Dad were out I peed in her no no zone, she seems to like the sticky, white pee. So don't worry, just get your sister to help you out. h. Microsoft and Apple are trash. Switch to Linux. Google tracks you. Switch to DuckDuckGo. Lalalalalalalalalala. [Produced by Dr. Dre & Mel-Man] [Intro: Phish] What's the difference between me and you? What's the difference between me and you? [Verse 1: Dr. Dre] Back when Cube was rollin' with Lorenzo in a Benzo I was bangin' with a gang of instrumentals Got the pens and pencils, got down to business But sometimes the business end of this shit Can turn your friends against you But you was a real nigga, I could sense it in you I still remember the window of the car that you went through That's fucked up, but I'll never forget the shit we been through And I'ma do whatever it takes to convince you 'Cause you my nigga, Doc, and Eazy, I'm still with you Fuck the beef, nigga, I miss you And that's just being real with you You see the truth is Everybody wanna know how close me and Snoop is And who I'm still cool with Then I got these fake-ass niggas I first blew with Claimin' that they non-violent, talkin' like they (Do not resist the beat) Spit venom in interviews, speakin' on reunions Move units, then talk shit and we can do this Until then, I ain't even speakin' your name Just keep my name outta your mouth And we can keep it the same, nigga It ain't that I'm too big to listen to the rumors It's just that I'm too damn big to pay attention to 'em That's the difference [Hook: Phish] What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' [Verse 2: Xzibit] Yo, I stay with it, while you try to perpetrate and play with it Never knew about the next level until Dre did it I stay committed while you motherfuckers babysitted I smash you critics like a overhand right from Riddick Come and get it, shitted on villains by the millions I be catchin' bitches while bitches be catchin' feelings So what the fuck am I supposed to do? I pop bottles and hot hollow-points at each and all of you A heartless bastard, high and plastered My style is like the reaction from too much acid Never come down, pass it around if you can't handle it Hang Hollywood niggas by they Soul Train laminates What's the difference between me and you? About five bank accounts, three ounces, and two vehicles Until my death, I'm Bangladesh I suggest you hold yo' breath 'til ain't none left Yo, that's the difference! [Hook: Phish] What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' [Verse 3: Eminem + Dr. Dre] A'ight, hold up, hold up! Stop the beat a minute, I got somethin' to say, Dre I wanna tell you this shit right now While this fuckin' weed is in me (What the fuck?) I don't know if I ever told you this But I love you, dog, I got your motherfuckin' back (Right) Just know this shit Slim, I don't know if you noticed it But I've had your back from day one, Nigga, let's blow this bitch I mean it dog, you ever need somebody offed: "Whose throat is it?" Well if you ever kill that Kim bitch I'll show you where the ocean is Well, that's cool, and I appreciate the offer But if I do decide to really murder my daughter's momma I'ma sit her up in the front seat and put sunglasses on her And cruise around with her for seven hours through California And have her wavin' at people (Hi!) Then drop her off on the corner at the police station And drive off honkin' the horn for her Raw dawg, get your arm gnawed off Drop the sawed off And beat you with the piece it was sawed off of Fuck blood, I wanna see some lungs coughed up Get shot up in the hot tub 'til the bubbles pop up In they nose and cough snot up, mucus in hot water That's for tryin' to talk like The Chronic was lost product That's for even thinkin' of havin' them thoughts thought up You better show some respect whenever the Doc's brought up So what's the difference between us? We can start at the penis Or we can scream "I just don't give a fuck" and see who means it [Hook: Phish] What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' [Outro: Phish] What's the difference between me and-- Gunshot. [snargle] [bite]. Bless this acid house. How much time do you have on your hands. fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuckmedaddy:3. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET JENKINKHAN'S PP IS SMOL.
submitted by xboxg4mer to teenagersnew [link] [comments]


2018.09.21 17:06 Quazi_D2 Spy boy wanking

Here it is so far:
Okie dokie artichokie. People are reading "Culture of Critique". Depression XD depression. I'm still alive. k, and what about it. I'm working on a Johnny Test fanfiction rn. I'm in Bois, well I'm in depression. Girls ask boys ask girls. Can I get an F for my selfie thread. Excuse me what the fuck, was that a freshman with big titties. Okie dokie artichoke me. That's going in too buckaroo. Banangle baningle you are still single. Tell us about it. Wonder how long this'll last. "Please daddeey fuck my ass". hewwoh r swash ttn, i wuv you :3. PHANPOO. Waluigi forgot to attend school the day he had planned to shoot up the school. He felt sad and decided to isolate himself from the world. He thought that no one would miss him. He WAS just an extra character to fill up space as Wario's partner after all. Not even the players realized how much he meant to them until he went missing in Mario Kart 7. Players rose up to give Waluigi the attention he deserved, but it was too late. After Waluigi had been absent for MK7 Nintendo gave him one last chance with MK8 before throwing him back into Party and sports games. They refused to put him in Smash as a fighter. Waluigi got depressed. Not even for Wario's new game was he welcome. He got a slimmer of hope when Wario called him before release, but he got the call closed in his face. No one loved Waluigi. He became depressed. He did. ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡸⠱⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣴⠖⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⡆⢀⢀⢠⠃⢀⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⠋⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⢁⡇⢀⢠⠏⢀⢀⢹ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁⢀⣼⠁⣠⠏⢀⢀⢀⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣾⡿⠋⢀⣼⡿⠁⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁⢀⢀⢰⢏⡼⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡇ ⢀⢀⣾⢀⢀⢀⣼⡿⠋⢀⢀⢀⣿⠃⣀⣠⣶⠿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡿⠋⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⠃⢀⣀⣠⠤⠖⠚⠋⢉⡭⠋ ⢀⣼⣿⢀⣠⣿⠟⠁⢀⢀⢀⠘⠛⠛⠋⠉⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠮⠒⠋⠁⢀⢀⢀⣠⠔⠁ ⢀⡇⢻⣰⡿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁ ⢸⠃⠈⠟⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡾⠋ ⢸⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣴⠋ ⢸⡄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡾⠁ ⢀⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⢠⡞ ⢀⢳⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣉⡉⢉⡟ ⢀⠘⣄⣀⣀⣤⣤⢀⡇⠰⠶⠶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⠶⠶⠶⢀⢀⢀⣼⠿⠟⠛⠿⡿ ⢀⢀⢳⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡇⢀⢀⡠⠊⠁⣀⣀⠈⠑⣄⢀⢀⢀⣰⡡⠤⠠⢄⣰⠃ ⢀⢀⠈⢏⣉⣀⣀⣸⡇⢀⠸⢀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⢀⠘⡄⢀⢠⠏⢠⣤⣤⢀⠹ ⢀⡰⠊⠉⠑⡄⢀⢸⠇⢀⢃⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⢀⠃⢀⣾⢀⣿⣿⣿⢀⢀⠇ ⢀⠃⠈⠉⢣⠘⠤⠼⢀⢀⠈⢄⢀⠈⠉⠁⢀⣠⠎⢀⡘⠸⡀⠙⠛⠁⢀⢼⡄ ⢀⡀⢀⠐⠎⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠁⠐⠒⠒⠈⢀⢀⢀⠧⠤⢬⠒⢀⠂⠁⢀⢳ ⢀⠁⠐⠒⠂⠉⠁⠢⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠒⠤⢤⣀⣀⣐⣒⣒⣉⡠⠤⠂⢀⡴⠃ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠙⢲⣤⣀⡀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠉⠉⠁⢀⣀⣤⠞⠉ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣦⣬⣇⠈⠉⢿⡒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠚⠛⠉ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠸⣿⣷⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣷⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠚⢻⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣹⣟⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡘⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡇⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣦⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡝⠉⠉⠉⢀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣇⢠⢠⢀⣾⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⢸⢸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠘⣾⢸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⣹⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⢓⣤⣀⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠤⠤⠤⠽⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢒⣒⣂⣀⣉⣦⡀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⢸⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⡉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠒⠒⠊ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠇⢀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⢀⠠⡇A spectwe is haunting Euwope – the spectwe of communyism. Aww the powews of owd Euwope have entewed into a howy awwiance to exowcise this spectwe: Pope and Tsaw, Mettewnyich and Guizot, Fwench Wadicaws and Gewman powice-spies. Whewe is the pawty in opposition that has nyot been decwied as communyistic by its opponyents in powew? Whewe is the opposition that has nyot huwwed back the bwanding wepwoach of communyism, against the mowe advanced opposition pawties, as weww as against its weactionyawy advewsawies? Two things wesuwt fwom this fact: I. Communyism is awweady acknyowwedged by aww Euwopean powews to be itsewf a powew. II. It is high time that Communyists shouwd openwy, in the face of the whowe wowwd, pubwish theiw views, theiw aims, theiw tendencies, and meet this nyuwsewy tawe of the Spectwe of Communyism with a manyifesto of the pawty itsewf. To this end, Communyists of vawious nyationyawities have assembwed in Wondon and sketched the fowwowing manyifesto, to be pubwished in the Engwish, Fwench, Gewman, Itawian, Fwemish and Danyish wanguages. I. Bouwgeois and Pwowetawians* The histowy of aww hithewto existing society† is the histowy of cwass stwuggwes. Fweeman and swave, patwician and pwebeian, wowd and sewf, guiwd-mastew‡ and jouwnyeyman, in a wowd, oppwessow and oppwessed, stood in constant opposition to onye anyothew, cawwied on an unyintewwupted, nyow hidden, nyow open fight, a fight that each time ended, eithew in a wevowutionyawy weconstitution of society at wawge, ow in the common wuin of the contending cwasses. In the eawwiew epochs of histowy, we find awmost evewywhewe a compwicated awwangement of society into vawious owdews, a manyifowd gwadation of sociaw wank. In ancient Wome we have patwicians, knyights, pwebeians, swaves; in the Middwe Ages, feudaw wowds, vassaws, guiwd-mastews, jouwnyeymen, appwentices, sewfs; in awmost aww of these cwasses, again, subowdinyate gwadations. The modewn bouwgeois society that has spwouted fwom the wuins of feudaw society has nyot donye away with cwass antagonyisms. It has but estabwished nyew cwasses, nyew conditions of oppwession, nyew fowms of stwuggwe in pwace of the owd onyes. Oppan Gangnam style Gangnam style Najeneun ttasaroun inganjeogin yeoja Keopi hanjanui yeoyureul aneun pumgyeok inneun yeoja Bami omyeon simjangi tteugeowojineun yeoja Geureon banjeon inneun yeoja Naneun sanai Najeneun neomankeum ttasaroun geureon sanai Keopi sikgido jeone one-shot ttaerineun sanai Bami omyeon simjangi teojyeobeorineun sanai Geureon sanai Areumdawo sarangseureowo Geurae neo hey geurae baro neo hey Areumdawo sarangseureowo Geurae neo hey geurae baro neo hey Jigeumbuteo gal dekkaji gabolkka Oppan Gangnam style Gangnam style Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Gangnam style Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Eh-eh-eh, eh-eh-eh Jeongsukhae boijiman nol ttaen noneun yeoja Ittaeda sipeumyeon mukkeotdeon meori puneun yeoja Garyeotjiman wenmanhan nochulboda yahan yeoja Geureon gamgakjeogin yeoja Naneun sanai Jeomjanha boijiman nol ttaen noneun sanai Ttaega doemyeon wanjeon michyeobeorineun sanai Geunyukboda sasangi ultungbultunghan sanai Geureon sanai Areumdawo sarangseureowo Geurae neo, hey, geurae baro neo, hey Areumdawo sarangseureowo Geurae neo, hey, geurae baro neo, hey Jigeumbuteo gal dekkaji gabolkka Oppan Gangnam style Gangnam style Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Gangnam style Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Eh-eh-eh, eh-eh-eh Ttwineun nom geu wie naneun nom Baby, baby Naneun mwol jom aneun nom Ttwineun nom geu wie naneun nom Baby, baby Naneun mwol jom aneun nom You know what I'm saying Oppan Gangnam style Eh-eh-eh, eh-eh-eh Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Oppan Gangnam style Eh, sexy lady Op, op, op, op Eh-eh-eh, eh-eh-eh Oppan Gangnam style [English translation:] Uncle is Gangnam style Gangnam style A girl who is warm and humanly during the day A classy girl who knows how to enjoy the freedom of a cup of coffee A girl whose heart gets hotter when night comes A girl with that kind of twist I'm a guy A guy who is as warm as you during the day A guy who one-shots his coffee before it even cools down A guy whose heart bursts when night comes That kind of guy Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Now let's go until the end Uncle is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Uncle is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Uncle is Gangnam style Eh sexy lady Uncle is Gangnam style Eh sexy lady A girl who looks quiet but plays when she plays A girl who puts her hair down when the right time comes A girl who covers herself but is more sexy than a girl who bares it all A sensible girl like that I'm a guy A guy who seems calm but plays when he plays A guy who goes completely crazy when the right time comes A guy who has bulging ideas rather than muscles That kind of guy Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Beautiful, loveable Yes you, hey, yes you, hey Now let's go until the end Uncle is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Uncle is Gangnam style, Gangnam style Uncle is Gangnam style Sometimes I like to sneak into the attic with my mummy's iPad to play Minecraft, one time I saw a hot boobie mod for Minecraft and decided to install it - later I saw a super duper uber hot sexy skin with big boobiez, it made my pee pee hard and I begin to touch it, then my sister came into the attic and saw me poking my now enlarged member, she then kissed my forehead and began putting her mouth over it, it felt good and then I peed white sticky stuff in her mouth (which she swallowed), I then began to cry and begged her not to tell Mom and Dad that I peed myself, she told me not to worry - it'll just be our secret. Next time Mom and Dad were out I peed in her no no zone, she seems to like the sticky, white pee. So don't worry, just get your sister to help you out. h. Microsoft and Apple are trash. Switch to Linux. Google tracks you. Switch to DuckDuckGo. Lalalalalalalalalala. [Produced by Dr. Dre & Mel-Man] [Intro: Phish] What's the difference between me and you? What's the difference between me and you? [Verse 1: Dr. Dre] Back when Cube was rollin' with Lorenzo in a Benzo I was bangin' with a gang of instrumentals Got the pens and pencils, got down to business But sometimes the business end of this shit Can turn your friends against you But you was a real nigga, I could sense it in you I still remember the window of the car that you went through That's fucked up, but I'll never forget the shit we been through And I'ma do whatever it takes to convince you 'Cause you my nigga, Doc, and Eazy, I'm still with you Fuck the beef, nigga, I miss you And that's just being real with you You see the truth is Everybody wanna know how close me and Snoop is And who I'm still cool with Then I got these fake-ass niggas I first blew with Claimin' that they non-violent, talkin' like they (Do not resist the beat) Spit venom in interviews, speakin' on reunions Move units, then talk shit and we can do this Until then, I ain't even speakin' your name Just keep my name outta your mouth And we can keep it the same, nigga It ain't that I'm too big to listen to the rumors It's just that I'm too damn big to pay attention to 'em That's the difference [Hook: Phish] What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' [Verse 2: Xzibit] Yo, I stay with it, while you try to perpetrate and play with it Never knew about the next level until Dre did it I stay committed while you motherfuckers babysitted I smash you critics like a overhand right from Riddick Come and get it, shitted on villains by the millions I be catchin' bitches while bitches be catchin' feelings So what the fuck am I supposed to do? I pop bottles and hot hollow-points at each and all of you A heartless bastard, high and plastered My style is like the reaction from too much acid Never come down, pass it around if you can't handle it Hang Hollywood niggas by they Soul Train laminates What's the difference between me and you? About five bank accounts, three ounces, and two vehicles Until my death, I'm Bangladesh I suggest you hold yo' breath 'til ain't none left Yo, that's the difference! [Hook: Phish] What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' [Verse 3: Eminem + Dr. Dre] A'ight, hold up, hold up! Stop the beat a minute, I got somethin' to say, Dre I wanna tell you this shit right now While this fuckin' weed is in me (What the fuck?) I don't know if I ever told you this But I love you, dog, I got your motherfuckin' back (Right) Just know this shit Slim, I don't know if you noticed it But I've had your back from day one, Nigga, let's blow this bitch I mean it dog, you ever need somebody offed: "Whose throat is it?" Well if you ever kill that Kim bitch I'll show you where the ocean is Well, that's cool, and I appreciate the offer But if I do decide to really murder my daughter's momma I'ma sit her up in the front seat and put sunglasses on her And cruise around with her for seven hours through California And have her wavin' at people (Hi!) Then drop her off on the corner at the police station And drive off honkin' the horn for her Raw dawg, get your arm gnawed off Drop the sawed off And beat you with the piece it was sawed off of Fuck blood, I wanna see some lungs coughed up Get shot up in the hot tub 'til the bubbles pop up In they nose and cough snot up, mucus in hot water That's for tryin' to talk like The Chronic was lost product That's for even thinkin' of havin' them thoughts thought up You better show some respect whenever the Doc's brought up So what's the difference between us? We can start at the penis Or we can scream "I just don't give a fuck" and see who means it [Hook: Phish] What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' What's the difference between me and you? You talk a good one, but you don't do what you supposed to do I act on what I feel and never deal with emotions I'm used to livin' big dog style and straight coastin' [Outro: Phish] What's the difference between me and-- Gunshot. [snargle] [bite]. Bless this acid house. How much time do you have on your hands. fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuckmedaddy:3. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET JENKINKHAN'S PP IS SMOL. gr8 b8 m8. i rel8 str8 appreci8 nd congratul8. i r8 dis b8 an 8/8. plz no h8, i'm str8 ir8. cr8 more cant w8. we shood convers8 i wont ber8, my number is 8888888 ask for N8. no calls l8 or out of st8. if on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. even with a full pl8 i always hav time to communic8 so dont hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 ur ability to tabul8 the f8. we should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, im sure everyone would appreci8 no h8. i dont mean to defl8 ur hopes, but itz hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, im sure u can rel8. we can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the nile's str8s. well be the captains of b8 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like reel est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8 like a blind d8 well coll8 meet me upst8 where we can convers8 or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly tail g8. we cood land in kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 wont be too ir8 and hopefully our currency wont defl8. well head to the israeli-St8, taker over like herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses 8 million m8. we could interrel8 communism thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8 volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒😂
😂🆒💯🆒🆒🆒💯🆒💯💯💯🆒🆒🆒😂
😂🆒💯💯🆒💯💯🆒💯🆒💯💯🆒🆒😂
😂🆒🆒💯🆒💯🆒🆒💯🆒🆒💯💯🆒😂
😂🆒🆒💯💯💯🆒🆒💯🆒🆒🆒💯🆒😂
😂🆒🆒🆒💯🆒🆒🆒💯🆒🆒🆒💯🆒😂
😂🆒🆒💯💯💯🆒🆒💯🆒🆒🆒💯🆒😂
😂🆒🆒💯🆒💯🆒🆒💯🆒🆒💯💯🆒😂
😂🆒💯💯🆒💯💯🆒💯🆒💯💯🆒🆒😂
😂🆒💯🆒🆒🆒💯🆒💯💯💯🆒🆒🆒😂
😂🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
submitted by Quazi_D2 to teenagersnew [link] [comments]