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• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
Female, early 30s. Software engineer, raised in the Midwest and now live on the West Coast. Majored in English in college but took random math & CS classes throughout school. Before software, I worked in publishing and had a job managing publication schedules, which I haaaaaated— too detail oriented and I just fundamentally didn’t care.
I always thought I was “uncreative” and avoided the arts, thought I wanted a science career, until I was about 16 and started discovering my own, more structured creativity type. Thus I enjoyed studying literature as I could explore a lot of related disciplines and fold them all into an argument based on a piece or pieces of text. Enjoyed constructing an argument in that way. Enjoyed psychoanalytic theories of literature.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
Have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It’s mostly under control now, though of course I still struggle. Have considered that I’m ADHD or mildly autistic. Now that Asperger’s is no longer a diagnosis and I’ve learned more about ASD, I doubt I would be diagnosed for real.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
Very free range childhood. Many younger siblings (I was oldest). Grew up in a rural area where people would hunt, fish, etc. but I was never outdoorsy. Preferred sitting on the floor of my messy room reading. I loved reading The Babysitters Club (loved that there were so many different personalities, different books were written from different characters’ POVs, and I could “learn” about people through them), Encyclopedia Brown and the Cam Jansen books (detective children’s lit). I loved funny things, especially cartoons, and when I was a young kid (pre-Internet) I would keep notebooks where I’d write down the funniest jokes and quotes in the notebooks while watching TV. (Where they are now, I have no idea... ) I had a lot of neighbors for a rural place and would play with the neighbor kids, though I never closely bonded with them. I used to do my older neighbor’s math homework for fun (oops).
I had one best friend through all of school (a guy), and we were EXTREMELY close. We would rarely talk about feelings or social life, just had very similar taste in ideas, comedy and culture. LOVED pacing around the playground together at recess coming up with absurd storylines and jokes and talking about our favorite things (James Bond movies, Nintendo games, Nickelodeon cartoons like KaBlam!). Two of our favorite hangouts were 1) weekend long sleepover where we’d rent movies like Air Force One or Leslie Nielsen comedies and watch them repeatedly, 2) watch the vintage Nickelodeon Games and Sports channel for hours cracking jokes about the hosts and contestants. People always assumed we would eventually date but we would joke that if we had kids they were turn out sterile because we were so romantically disinterested in each other. Pure brain connection, though we would very occasionally discuss our feelings of sadness or longing for things as teens (to be involved in a subculture, dating woes, etc.)
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
Software engineer. It’s not a perfect fit for me as it requires a lot of business alignment, but the periods where I can get lost for 2-3 weeks designing and prototyping and then implementing things to my standards are my favorite and very rewarding, don’t feel like work. I like reading about software design and software design principles in my free time.
I’ve had a million jobs throughout high school, college and young adulthood. Always hated anything administrative or support, hated project management of any kind. (Deadlines!! Procedures! Augh!!) Tended to flit from job to job because I was not interested in doing anything long term or having seniority.
Didn’t mind jobs with social interaction if it was brief and straightforward and jokes were permitted (bank teller, cashier) but hate jobs where team bonding and chemistry is a big emphasis. I don’t mind having short, pleasant interactions with people but just do not want to have a long-term, deep relationship with people I work with day after day. Tried waitressing and bartending since I didn’t mind being a bank teller but it was too far on the social/outgoing side and I didn’t last long.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
Refreshed! I love spending the weekend by myself. I live with my boyfriend in a small apartment and treasure the times he goes out to do his own thing, so I can play my podcasts, do projects alone, etc. I take a bubble bath twice a week as “me time” even though... basically my whole life is “me time.”
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
Always hated and was bad at sports. In school I’d go to the back of the line in softball pretending I already batted so I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself. Super slow runner. Generally awkward. The only sport I was ever good at (and I was pretty good, beat a couple of male jocks and they got furious about it) was badminton.
As an older adult, I’ve convinced myself to do exercise and sport for my health. I used to run (loved it because I didn’t need anything but shoes and could go anytime). Now I do Pilates, but plan to do more running. I enjoyed spin class pre-pandemic. Anything I can do basically on autopilot and with minimal preparation or equipment I tend to like.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
Very curious. At work my biggest issue is wanting to research everything down to the last detail in lieu of actually executing. I like to know things. I have a lot ideas, much less execution. As a kid I loved Rube Goldberg machines (always wanted to make one to gather together my stuff in the morning for school) and electronics but never built them or played around with Legos or anything. Preferred to draw diagrams if I did anything at all. (In fact, draftsmanship was my favorite part of wood shop in high school.)
Tend to be a very high or very low performer based on whether something sparks my genuine interest. Bad at faking interest or being disciplined to study things I’m not interested in.
My ideas tend to be about human nature, psychology and art, especially film. Definitely conceptual. I like esoteric things and watched a lot of independent movies in my teens. Love David Lynch for the way he explores a theme or idea repeatedly from different angles. Love Cronenberg, Kubrick, and Michael Mann. In literature I have gone through phases with different authors including Nathaniel Hawthorne, Philip K Dick, Richard Yates, Willa Cather, and others. Like musing in issues of human motivation, evil, the unconscious. Went through a big Freudian phase, a Marxism phase. It wasn’t that I agreed with either of them 100% but loved their systematizing approach to human nature and society. Enjoyed studying political philosophy in school for the same reason.
I’m drawn to certain topics in science and math but they have to be a balance of not too applied, not too abstract. For instance, I’m drawn to algorithms and algorithm design and information theory. I love the elegance and power of both. I used to joke I wanted to learn more physics because as a very lazy person, I’m a big fan of the simple machines (for the same reason, elegance and power). I tend to like tools that follow the same principle... love an excuse to use a rotary ratchet. I like putting together IKEA furniture and find it soothing, but don’t generally like woodworking because I’m too paranoid and perfectionist and it becomes stressful and OCDish for me. (Maxims like “measure twice, cut once” become “measure fifteen times, procrastinate cutting...”).
I like cooking, but not elaborate things. My boyfriend and I are vegan and my favorite thing is to find a way to veganize a dish I used to eat or find a substitute for an ingredient I don’t have on hand. We get a CSA box and I love coming up with ideas for what to do with each ingredient and making a plan, even if I don’t always execute.
(Vegan for the following reasons, in descending order of importance: animal welfare, simplification of cooking/food decisions, health & weight management, environmental concerns.)
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
No! I hate it. My boyfriend and I are trivia buffs and regularly come in first place at our local bar trivia despite being a two-person team. Recently at work, we did a trivia game and no one wanted to be captain... so I volunteered... and we came in last. I just couldn’t juggle leading the team, thinking, and being thorough and precise at the same time!
If I have to lead, my style is very laissez-faire... I’ve had interns in the past and it usually goes “here’s a problem, figure it out on your own, check in with me once a week and I’ll give feedback, then go do it and ask me questions as necessary.” I liked helping to build their confidence but really hated the process of guiding them beyond just giving them honest feedback when they came to me with ideas.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
Nope. Thus the badness as sports. However, hand-eye coordination is great and that’s why I’ve enjoyed badminton and ping pong, they require little strength and overall body coordination as a beginner. Working with my hands... like I said, I like assembling or fixing things (esp. coming up with clever fixes) but not so much building something from scratch. I like the meditative simplicity of cutting veggies when I cook. I do Pilates precisely because strength and mind body coordination are lacking for me.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I wrote more above, but my favorite art forms are literature, then film, then visual art, then music, in that order. I find it insanely hard to connect with music and generally like music that’s more meta, ironic, dark, humorous or conceptual (Johnathan Richman, Steely Dan, and loved Weird Al growing up).
In literature I like dark themes, intrigue, psychological content. Off the top of my head, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Patricia Highsmith, John Fowler, John LeCarre. In more fun reading, I love detective and spy stuff, including Sherlock Holmes. Also have a love/hate relationship with Stephen King. I read a decent amount of nonfiction, mostly about war and military history.
In film I like Kubrick, Lynch, Cronenberg, and have called all my favorite director at one time or another. I like Welles for how well he can represent dreamlike reverie. I love Michael Mann, esp Manhunter and Thief, two of my all time favorite movies. In pop culture I like the Bond movies, love Al Pacino.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
Oof. The past is often a source of pain and regret for me; I have some overactive guilt. A painful thing for me growing up was being parentified and overfunctioning a lot (many younger siblings, divorced parents) even though I’m not very inherently responsible or dutiful. I do tend to get nostalgic about things I was into growing up (silly things like favorite candies that aren’t made anymore, favorite cartoons, etc.)
In the present I focus a lot on balance, keeping myself in check (tendency to not clean, to daydream and not focus on work, to get overwhelmed when I have too many expectations on me). I need to have fun a lot to stay on track, though for me “fun” is not the outgoing type of fun (so ordering takeout, reading a great book, bubble baths, video games). I tend to automate and systematize parts of my life and personal care that bore me and that I would normally avoid. (Things like what to cook, when to wash my hair, etc.) I usually have to pair stuff I hate with stuff I like to get it done. (Playing a funny podcast while I cook or clean, etc.)
The future tends to stress me out, honestly. Like I said, I’m in my early 30s and deciding whether I want kids is a big question. I’ve never felt particularly maternal, but was surprised when my nieces and nephews were born how strongly I felt toward them, so it’s made me question what will really fulfill me. I’m not great at planning or sticking to plans. Tend to make decisions in the moment... for instance, I’d find it very stressful and difficult to plan to buy a house (saving, figuring out what to look for), but if I go look at houses, I’m likely to fall in love with one right away and commit fast.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
I generally feel overburdened when people depend on me a lot. But I don’t mind helping with things like... talking through a problem with an intern at work and kind of breaking it down into a decision tree to pick a solution. Sharing advice with someone that I heard from someone else. Or talking someone through what they want from a job, or a college. I like talking to first generation college students (or prospective students) about how to get ahead, which was an experience I went through. So I don’t mind helping people abstractly but generally don’t like helping to... set up for a party, or something like that. I will do it but feel stressed and can’t wait for it to be over.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
Haha. Well, somewhat. Hard to say what this really means, because I can be impulsive, but generally have a hard time defending a decision unless I can speak logically about it. I don’t always realize that though, and can go around and around questioning something and not being sure why I’m not comfortable until I realize I haven’t logicked it out. I tend to make “if this, then that” type decision algorithms for myself to model outcomes or expedite decision making. “If it’s sunny tomorrow, X is the best thing to do on our vacation, but if it’s cloudy we’ll do Y and reschedule X for the next sunny day. Should be easy because Z can be bumped regardless of weather, and X and Y are priorities over Z.” Stuff like this that drives my boyfriend and family insane looool.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
Hmmmm. I am not especially productive, but do tend to prize efficiency. My boyfriend is very considerate of other people’s feelings, including mine, and will often ask 3-4 questions to build up to his main question/request, and I’m always saying things like “it would have been much more efficient to just ask the main question!” I like to “multithread” (not multitask) what I’m doing as much as possible— when cooking, I try to optimize each operation of the recipe for time (so if chopped veggies aren’t needed until after broth has simmered, definitely will put broth on to simmer and chop while waiting). This sometimes backfires when I pack too much in for efficiency’s sake and end up having to go into hyperdrive to make sure I don’t delay a step. An annoying habit I have is to ask boyfriend “if you knew we’d have to wait for X, why did you do Y first? Should have started X then did Y in the meantime.” Or saying, “You always ask me this, and the answer is always yes, you can stop asking for efficiency’s sake and I won’t be mad if someday you don’t ask and the answer is no.” He just gives me a knowing look at this point!
I am also obsessed with packing groceries efficiently in our cart and arranging our overpacked fridge like Tetris...
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
As in the last question, I can be a bit picky and bossy about doing things efficiently and will be a bit controlling about that. I watched a sitcom recently where a girl was playing with her friend, and the mom came in to say she needed the girl for a sec, after which the girl said to her friend “you said you needed a bathroom break for number two... here’s your window.” Yeah, that is unfortunately me...
I tend to be fine with other people doing whatever they want to do, but I’m very independent, so if the decision affects me then I can get squirrelly. And I also pains me to watch others make decisions that appear to me guided by their low self worth, I always want to intervene and convince them to act in a way that places more value on themselves. I will definitely pull the “it’s illogical to act that way, it’s a lose-lose scenario!” type argument, which can make me seem bossy and out of touch.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
I have always struggled to articulate this but as I get older I see more clearly. Obviously, reading and watching films. Television, but I’m picky about what I watch. I tend to like highbrow or campy.
Food and food culture/history— I’m always surprised when someone doesn’t know as much about food as I do, because I don’t consider it a strong hobby (as a very casual home chef), but I obviously read about food more than I cook. I like reading about, for instance, how a typical middle class French family prepares and eats a meal, or the origin of the word “supper,” or learning about dishes from Eastern cultures that surprise me with unfamiliar ingredients or techniques. I like to make food that feels a bit experimental, rustic, or “magical,” like using chia or rice flour to create spongy texture, eating rice and green tea together as a soup (Japanese snack), creating Swedish breads and buns, making vinegar from leftover wine, making vegan cheese, etc. I don’t like the part of cooking that is about making big, elaborate, magazine-ready spreads and feasts. More about learning tricks and discovering new things.
I love logic puzzles and have taken LSAT practice quizzes for fun. I enjoy deduction. Going down information rabbit holes. Wine and beer tasting is fun to me, and I tend to intellectualize it and get obsessed with history and culture or wine/beewhatever. I like learning about process, like wine or beer making.
Trivia, as previously mentioned. Have been in trivia groups and leagues consistently for the last 15 years. Like Jeopardy!, playing Trivial Pursuit, etc. I tend to know a lot about a certain subjects and have huge general knowledge gaps elsewhere, whereas my boyfriend is a generalist with a great memory, so we make a good team.
I have tried crafting in the past and while knitting mindlessly can be a good destresser, I don’t enjoy the attention to detail required to make an actual thing that fits. I like decluttering my stuff, throwing things away lol. I like minimalism and streamlining unnecessary stuff and making things work for me, my way. For instance, I have a bunch of figurines from my nieces and nephews that I like to keep out to honor them, but I hate clutter and never dust. As a compromise, I bought a box of canned air so I could just blow the dust off them without needing to rearrange them each time, and then the dust gets vacuumed up later...
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I cannot take verbal instructions. Used to be a huge issue with my dad who would always want to tell me how to drive somewhere, or how to do something, and I’d nod my head and pretend to understand then go look it up myself. I prefer reading and learn a lot from doing, though I have to push myself into doing as it’s not my instinct.
I loved learning grammar in grade school and caught onto it right away. Loved foreign language classes for that reason, almost did linguistics. Enjoyed math but only some things— didn’t care to calculate compound interest, but loved solving optimization problems and writing proofs. I could be very very good at memorizing quickly under pressure, but without pressure... would simply not do it. In catechism I once memorized four prayers in 30 minutes so I could get a necklace a missionary brought from Panama, which I knew all week but forgot/procrastinated until the last minute. I would “impress” people by memorizing long strings of digits quickly. Was good at quiz bowl because I would remember a lot of random stuff, even if I had to be like “you know, the thing that caused the thing, and the guy was involved... “ until that jogged someone else’s memory.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
Another hmm. I am great at strategizing in my personal life and decision making, but at work I tend to jump in and wing it without a clear plan or direction. I would say I’m better at optimizing an existing system than coming up with one from scratch. I don’t like to change direction a lot, but I feel the need to explore a lot before coming up with a plan. Have to remind myself regularly that problem solving means breaking things into discrete pieces.. I will gladly solve small problems once they’re broken down, but writing the plan myself gives me anxiety as I feel I’m neglecting the big picture.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
Like I said above, I’ve always wanted a romantic partner but was never worried about getting married or having a family, until recently where it’s become a very real last minute thing. Never imagined my future wedding, just wanted someone (one someone!) to share things with. Used to have a vague idea I wanted to go into academia, but the politics of it kind of make me ill. If I have to put up with that stuff, would rather just work in the “real world” where I don’t take things too personally. (If it was my life’s work and not just a job, I’d be much more stressed about politics. Plus the way academia is so competitive is blechh.)
I have always loved cities and not minded apartment living (I don’t notice people around me much, can be alone in a crowd) but as I get older I might like to have a house and a yard somewhere isolated so I can nest a bit more and have space for projects like homebrewing.
I have a love/hate relationship with travel. Love experiencing new places and learning more about the world, but need a lot of R&R and a slow pace.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
Huge social anxiety. I am self-conscious and aware that I come across as “weird.” Fear of looking silly or dumb. I hate dealing with macho guys who get off on making you look bad so they look cool.
I am made uncomfortable by a lot of things. Growing up, I was a tomboy and wore boys clothes. Hated uncomfortable or restrictive clothing. Was a picky eater, MUCH more adventurous now but still avoid gloppy or overprocessed things. I’m bothered by people who ask questions and don’t listen to the answer. Can’t stand being in a big group, bonding.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
This is hard for me to answer. Favorite memories are times being with all my siblings and making each other laugh super hard, same with friends and boyfriend. Achieving something, being recognized as smart or creative. (This applies to getting good feedback for solving a hard problem, or a time I won an award for poetry I wrote.) Giving a speech or presentation and getting good feedback. Feeling like I’ve done something difficult with a level of finesse. Having someone respond well to my ideas, in a “yes, and” way.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
Times I’ve hurt the feelings of people who trusted me, without realizing it. Times I’ve been bossy and insensitive in the past coming back to haunt me and make me feel like trash. Failing at something publicly or procrastinating and NOT pulling it off at the last second.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I daydream a lot. Can sit on the couch all day on a Saturday without feeling the need to do much. Very unaware of surroundings, having a tendency to look at the ground while walking around and totally zone things out.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
Usually “what am I going to do about X?” where X is something that’s nagging at me. Whether it’s a problem at work, someone who beat me in an argument and it’s driving me insane, or some interpersonal dynamic. Trying to break it apart into pieces mentally and create a picture that makes sense to me.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
Not long. I have made big life decisions without much thought— things like transferring colleges, moving across the country for a job. Almost got married right after high school, but broke things off pretty fast. Joined a religion when I was 16, then quit after 6 months and never looked back. I do change my mind a lot. I don’t tend to make decisions I feel like I can’t back out of without a really urgent reason.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
Takes awhile. Emotions are important to me as signals that something is wrong. It’s taken a long time, therapy, and a lot of reading for me to understand that my feelings are information I can use, and not to be ignored or shoved away, or mutated into guilt and self-torture. Emotions are like keys to a lock or puzzle pieces to me now. I am a problem-solver when it comes to bad juju. Often trying to help other people walk through their feelings, too.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
With strangers, I am unlikely to pretend to agree or vocally disagree. I’ll say “hmm, interesting” or “oh mmm, I see” or something and avoid getting into it. With people I’m close to, I can be very opinionated to the point of hurting feelings and have to tamp it down a lot.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I am afraid of breaking rules when it comes to the law— kind of paranoid, probably why I like Kafka and Highsmith and spy and detective stuff. When it comes to non-legal stuff, I will break rules regularly if the consequences are vague or unserious (in college I would skip requirements and try to get away with using other classes as a substitute, which often worked). But I don’t like to break rules that could hurt others (I am following all the pandemic guidelines, for instance.) I definitely have a skepticism about authority but also a concern for the common good, so I am not a total libertarian. I generally think authorities are bogus and authority is abused and mishandled.
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2020.06.20 22:44 LetsGetPostal Boys bathroom spy cam
TLDR: trans people aren’t a threat if they’re allowed to use the restroom they ID with, transphobes are just stupid.
A study conducted by Woman Means Something is currently making the rounds in some corners of TERF social media, and hoo boy is it bad. The study was conducted to see if Target (the store chain) has had an increase in sexual misconduct in their restrooms after allowing people to use restrooms based on their gender identity.
The study does one big misstep right away: it doesn’t provide a methodology. It has a brief description of their research method in the abstract, however (emphases added by me):
Using Target stores as a case study, we analyzed 220 media-reported sexual offenses in Target stores from 2003 to August of 2017 to determine the association, if any, between their gender-identity access policy made public in April 2016 and reported sexual offenses in their stores.The full study can be read here
This study finds that the passage of such laws [North Carolina’s bathroom bill] is not related to the number or frequency of criminal incidents in these spaces. Additionally, the study finds that reports of privacy and safety violations in public restrooms, locker rooms, and changing rooms are exceedingly rare. This study provides evidence that fears of increased safety and privacy violations as a result of nondiscrimination laws are not empirically grounded.If anyone ever cites that Woman Means Something study at you, here’s actual data that’s basically a slam-dunk.
2020.03.28 18:08 jack_the_rat I'm compiling a list of clichés, so far I have 400+. Surely I missed something you all didn't, so tell me what I might have missed!
2020.01.10 20:00 DangerDylan Boys bathroom spy cam
World News PM Trudeau says Canada has intelligence from multiple sources that the plane was shot down by an Iranian surface to air missile.
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Facebook Is Forcing Its Moderators to Log Every Second of Their Days — Even in the Bathroom: “People have to clock in and clock out even when going to the toilet and explain the reason why they were delayed, which is embarrassing and humiliating.”
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US strike targeting Taliban commander causes 60 civilian casualties
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Video Shows Ukrainian Plane Being Hit Over Iran
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Woman posed as boy to sexually assault up to 50 girls, say police
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Scientists have found the Vikings erected a runestone out of fear of a climate catastrophe. The study is based on new archaeological research describing how badly Scandinavia suffered from a previous climate catastrophe with lower average temperatures, crop failures, hunger and mass extinctions.
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Superhydrophobic hemostatic nanofiber composites for fast clotting and minimal adhesion. A new kind of bandage that helps blood to clot and doesn’t stick to the wound. This marks the first time that scientists have combined both properties in one material.
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US Government-funded Android phones come preinstalled with unremovable malware
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'This airplane is designed by clowns': Damning Boeing emails reveal internal complaints made about 737 Max safety and information being covered up.
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Proposed Bill Would Ban Cellphone Use For Anyone Under 21
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Trump asks South Korea to deliver birthday message to Kim Jong Un
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How would you feel about different types of nsfw tags like Gore and sexual nsfw?
People who voted for Clinton in 2016 but are intending to vote for Trump in 2020 what made you change your mind?
Dear diary, today I rescued a 24 year old Access 2.0 application from the brink of extinction. It was a good day.
I have found out why HP's site is so bad.
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Books, tutorials on building a data warehouse.
Something I learned about Runspaces
Powersosh: Search For Socials Online (OSINT)
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Rugged waterproof box
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I always wanted a camshaft lamp, and I've had the cam lying around for a decade.
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[OC] FIRMS fire hotspot animation
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Trump vs Obama Golf Games – Trump (and other presidents) Golf Count
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TIL that Steven Spielberg, while filming Raiders of the Lost Ark in Tunisia, avoided the dysentery that afflicted Harrison Ford & most of the cast & crew. Spielberg's secret weapon? The suitcases full of SpaghettiOs he brought with him on the shoot.
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TIL that two doctors saved a woman’s life on an airplane by performing mid-air surgery on her with a coat hanger and silverware. They also used cognac to sterilise the equipment. It was on a flight from Hong Kong-London. They couldn’t land for help, as the increase in air pressure could kill her.
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Why Aren't There Choose Your Own Adventure Books for Adults?
What book(s) changed the way you view the world and/or the way you think?
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American beauty, circa 1860s.
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Michael Jordan after winning his first championship(1991)
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RyanAir isn’t so bad after all
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Won my city photo contest!
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First tile job. Thought i did pretty good. (Im 13)
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Gotta catch them all
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Oh lawd they coming
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I’m a very fierce kitten!
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2018.02.26 17:10 FenderBender4756 Cam boys spy bathroom
(from Parts 1-2)
"STATUS: AWAKE! SITUATION: MUST PERFORM MORNING DUTIES!" Lammy suddenly woke up with a jolt and robotically stated, causing the equally naked, hot and bothered Katy (who had been literally just about to touch her lips against hers and lovingly smooch her in her sleep, mind you) to reflexively flinch backward and scream in shock.
"SIGH...lemme guess, you little rascals just found a way to hijack my girlfriend's central nervous system from the inside and take control over her entire body as was clearly intended right from the start?" Katy boredly rested her left (face) cheek on her respective palm, cupped her right hand around the respective ear of Lammy's and whispered exhaustedly into Lammy's right ear canal.
"YOU FUCKING BETCHA, PUSSY-CAT!" Lammy rather weirdly uncharacteristically told her while Parappa and Ma-San clumsily fumbled about with her obligatory voice-control microphone, ultimately concluding that the former of the two would be the one to become Lammy's new voice actor.
"So tell me, boys; are you ready to push my girlfriend's BUTTONS or what?!" Katy whispered excitedly into Lammy's ear canal with yet another profoundly shit-eating smirk plastered onto her face from ear TO ear while Parappa and Ma-San fiddled about with Lammy's self-consciousness adjustment levers.
"Of course; why, it's no FUN if we don't get to utterly HUMILIATE and debase the poor already-batshit-insane girl in the process, now IS it?" Ma-San blushingly, moaningly crooned and giggled with sadistic delight as Lammy suddenly became self-aware of her admittedly rather horrifying and degrading (perhaps even, dare I say, UN-NERVING) current predicament.
"HUH?! W-WHAT'S THIS ABOUT PUSHING MY BUTTONS? W-WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! SERIOUSLY, PLEASE FREAKING TELL ME, I NEED TO FREAKING KNOW, PLEASE!" Lammy screamed in a fit of panic, forcefully shoving Katy away from her and struggling to maintain even partial control over herself as she awkwardly, dizzily stumbled and fumbled around and about the room like a complete drunken idiot...while still naked, no less.
"Yeah, POSE for the camera, baby!" Katy laughed and cheered hornily as she pulled out her iPad and eagerly began recording some more of Lammy's gorgeous naked body for all of the local porn sites to have complete nasal aneurysms over, making sure to zoom in extra-boner-inducingly close on that big, round, bubbly, juicy butt of hers while she was busy bending her entire body all the way over forward just to reach the bottom shelf (read: the jean shelf) of her clothing dresser.
"(GASP!) You absolute PERVERT!" Lammy angrily scolded Katy, slapping her across the face and then proceeding to pull out her signature shirt, bikini, blue jeans and underwear from her dresser while Katy lovingly purred and moaned with delight from the absolutely amazing sensation of being smacked in the face BY Lammy.
Being forced (by Parappa and Ma-San's control over her) to deliberately walk from her bedroom to her bathroom in the sexiest, most Quentin-Tarantino-esquely foot-exposing way possible so that her beautiful, lovely, rosy-red-nail-polished tootsies could also be filmed on iPad video camera by Katy, Lammy confusedly set her clothes down on the bathroom sink and stepped into her fancy rectangular-cube-shaped marble shower in all of her dearly beloved buck-naked glory, tits and all...and of course, Katy also followed along behind her, with a great big gold-plated classical MIRROR in hand, no less!
"Alright, just gotta get THIS set in here real quick and BAM, done! Happy fapping, kinky Internet BOYS!" Katy smarmily teased the story's target audience as she inserted her iPad into a rather conspicuously placed slot in the dead top-center of the mirror's frame, then bolted off to grab her OWN signature clothes, the ran back INTO the bathroom to set said clothes down onto the bathroom sink WITH Lammy's, then FINALLY, last but DEFINITELY not least, stepped into the shower with Lammy and readied herself to perform the inevitable.
"Alright, here we go, just turn the dial, and...GAH! For the love of fuck, WHY can I not bring myself to turn the knob up to reasonably hot temperatures all of a sudden?!" Lammy gasped in shock as she desperately tried with all of her might to crank the shower's temperature knob up into the warm/hot zone...but alas, try as she did, Parappa and Ma-San had already issued a restraining order on her hands to prevent her from doing so!
"A-a-all t-the b-better to p-prevent the s-s-sh-shower's g-g-gl-glass w-w-walls f-from m-m-m-misting up, m-my d-d-d-dear!" Katy stammered and shivered irritatedly as she and Lammy reluctantly huddled together and began seductively lathering gelatinous cleaning products all over each other's (metaphorically) smoking-hot naked bodies while Parappa and Ma-San began masturbating furiously from deep within the latter's brain while voyeuristically spying on the rather kinky affair through her eye sockets (or, to be more precise, her eye-socket CAM, followed by an alternate third-person cam that pretty much rendered the mirror completely useless anyway).
"Tee hee...just kidding, sweetheart, we can turn up the heat just a bit WARMER and HOTTER and STEAMIER if you're so desperately inclined..." Lammy sluttily teased the adorably shivering and helpless Katy, reaching over to the shower knob and gently twisting it into the "warm" temperature zone with her left hand while incredibly suggestively smearing creamy, gooey, pure-white body wash into the cleavage of Katy's still-jovially-jiggling, baby-blue cat tits with her right.
SPEAKING OF RIGHT HANDS...
"Am...am I dead right now? Is...is this...h-HEAVEN?!" Ma-San stammered in unbearably aroused disbelief, desperately struggling to resist the urge to masturbate herself to the point of climax while she and Parappa continued unwelcomely manning Lammy's behavioral control cockpit, somehow STILL remaining unbeknownst to the absolute nutcase in the process (naturally, she just assumed it was the COCAINE that was making her act this way).
"Oh dear God, I feel like I'm being SHOWERED from brain to feet with GLORIOUS coconut cream pies right now..." Parappa moaned and panted lovingly in pure unbridled ecstasy, drooling what seemed like literal gallons from his big, meaty, dripping, dangling tongue and stroking his cock so hard that it almost literally became as hard as solid diamonds while Lammy and Katy continued nakedly fondling each other.
"OH, KATY...YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LIVE ON MY OWN WITHOUT YOU..." Lammy absentmindedly drooled, panted and slurred as she brought Katy's lips directly onto hers and promptly, moistly began tying her tongue together with hers in their absolute wettest, sloppiest french kiss to date while the two of them also gently, teasingly fingered each other's vaginas in the process, once again smearing disgusting amounts of gooey, sticky white cream all over the insides AND outsides of said vaginas.
"Aww, don't be so HARD on yourself..." Katy lovingly patted her on the thoroughly invaded and hijacked head and playfully whispered into her left ear canal while the two of them romantically, nakedly, ever-so-wetly cuddled each other, ritualistically (and erotically) running their hands down each other's finely sculpted backs, spanking each other's wondrously tight asses and even burying their heads into the sweet, tender embraces of each other's warm, bulbous, cushiony boobies and orally worshipping them in the process.
"Yes, I suppose you COULD say that we really do, in fact, have quite the HARD-ONS ourselves right about now...owwww...OWWWWWWWWWWW!" Lammy (and Parappa, and Ma-San) shrieked in painfully orgasmic delight, creaming themselves so hard that they actually quite literally PASSED OUT ALTOGETHER as a result.
"Aww, was that shower too HOT for you guys? Man, what a DRAG, am I right?" Katy smarmily teased Lammy, Parappa and Ma-San as she irritatedly grabbed her beloved girlfriend by the inexplicably human ankles and dragged her out onto the bathroom floor, making a point to give Lammy's beautiful, mouthwateringly large transgender tomboy tootsies a good licking, massaging, toe-sucking and kissing (and also lovingly rub and press the little beauties all over her face, making sure to droolingly take in their wonderfully clean, pristine and rosy fresh-out-of-the-shower aroma all the while) before finally setting her legs back down flat onto the floor, nakedly sitting criss-crossed in front of her and patiently waiting several minutes for her and her brain-hijackers to wake back up again.
TILBOP PART 2
"Alright, Lammy, it's been literally fifteen fucking minutes now; are you going to wake the hell up or WHAT?" Kat, who had now already finished recording her "lesbian shower-sex and foot-worship" video for QUITE some time, growled impatiently at Lammy, teasingly tickling and scratching the poor lamb's smooth, sexy soles with her finger-claws to try to coax her INTO waking up.
"AFFIRMATIVE! TEE HEE HEE!" Lammy giggled adorably and wiggled her lustrously rglistening, Katy's-saliva-caked feet up and down frantically as she suddenly woke right back up with yet another profoundly startling jolt (surely enough, now that they were literally inside her brain and had even gone as far as to take control over it, Parappa and Ma-San were somehow able to telekinetically feel EXACTLY what Lammy felt...and yes, that obviously includes sexual sensations as well).
"Alrighty then, let's brush our TEETH, shall we?" Katy laughed playfully as she and Lammy hopped right back over to the bathroom (double) sink and got out their toothbrushes.
"Wouldn't it be more convenient if you and me cleaned the house- (slaps self) -ERR, I mean, the SAND out from each other's vaginas?" Lammy asked Katy condescendingly, prompting the two of them to sassily give each other the bedroom eyes as they slowly reached their way down into each other's baby-makers with their toothbrushes (and also with a sly wink and a sloppy kiss, let's not forget that).
"Um, Katy, I don't really want to be do- (slaps self) -ING ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD THAT ISN'T THIS RIGHT NOW, DARLING!" Lammy began laughing dementedly as she and Katy began diligently, vigorously digging right into each other's vaginas and scrubbing the hairy yellow crust out from within them with their toothbrushes, moaning passionately all the while.
"Of course you don't, my poor confused plaything, of COURSE you don't!" Katy laughed uproariously, slapping Lammy on both the back AND the ass (AND the tits) as her big fluffy cat pussy climaxed and began drizzling its own "creamy gooey white liquid" all over Lammy's toothbrush while Lammy's big fluffy LAMB pussy also did very much the same for Katy's toothbrush.
"Okay, now we just add the toothpaste and BON APPETIT!" Katy snickered somewhat embarrassedly (after all, the apartment building DID have numerous security cameras, albeit ones that no one even remotely competent had been monitoring for quite a while) as she and Lammy brought their now thoroughly paste-covered toothbrushes straight up to their mouths and began scrubbing their teeth furiously with a mixture of toothpaste and each other's vaginal discharges.
"Oh my god, IT'S JUST LIKE ONE OF MY JAPANESE ANIMES!" Ma-San crooned with pure unbridled joy while Parappa just sat there right next to her in Lammy's behavorial control center, his jaw dropped firmly to the floor in amazement as he and Ma-San continued reducing Lammy into even MORE of a pathetically helpless sex puppet than she already was by default.
"Mmm, yum yum YUM!" Lammy giggled with excitement as she and Katy lovingly spat their own disgustingly congealing mixtures of toothpaste, vag-crust, saliva and liquid estrogen into each other's mouths and swallowed them, leaving what little was left OF said mixtures all over their teeth and tongues for the whole world of literally TWO people living inside Lammy's brain at the moment to see.
"Now THAT'S what I call fucking disgusting!" Parappa laughed uproariously, suddenly turning green in the face and trying desperately not to puke while Lammy and Katy VERY indiscreetly flashed their yellow-crust-speckled teeth and hung out their vaginal-pus-dripping tongues for each other in the bathroom, making rock'n'roll "devil horns" signs with their hands all the while.
"What do you MEAN, disgusting?! Why, I dare say THAT WAS THE ABSOLUTE MOST BEAUTIFUL FUCKING THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!" Ma-San moaned orgasmically, not even remotely TRYING to hide how hard she had just been fingering herself TO said vomit-inducingly gross thing.
"Oh, Lammy, you ALWAYS know how to make a girl SQUIRT, you know that?" Katy sluttily teased Lammy, slapping her on the back and causing her to accidentally spit out the remaining...STUFF that had just gotten stuck underneath her tongue all over her side of the mirror, prompting her to then immediately begin licking it right OFF of said mirror without even the slightest second thought.
"Oh PUH-LEEZE, you KNOW that guys squirt WAY better anyway...OWW! GOD DAMN IT, I DIDN'T MEAN TO FUCKING SAY THAT! FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHAT THE HELL'S GOTTEN INTO ME?! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, PLEASE TELL ME, PLEASE, I'M FUCKING BEGGING YOU FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Lammy sarcastically jeered at Lammy, then got forcefully bitch-slapped across the face by Katy and promptly began desperately yelling and screaming in terror, grabbing onto Katy's shoulders and shaking her violently to see if she could literally SHAKE the answers right out of her (after all, we ARE talking about a universe that runs strictly on cartoon logic here, if the whole "supercomputer in Lammy's brain" thing wasn't already indication enough).
"Oh, don't worry, you poor, clueless little thing; you don't NEED to know exactly what's gotten INTO you, per se, until much, MUCH later in this episode, sweetums! You're just completely stoned out of your mind on crack, darling; try not to over-THINK it, will you?" Katy giggled suspiciously insincerely, patting Lammy on the head and playfully stroking her fingers through the poor girl's hair.
"Uh, yeah RIGHT, sure...well, anyway, I also haven't heard from those adorable little Parappa and Ma-San sweethearts (cue sarcastic snicker from Katy) in QUITE a while...well, at least by THEIR standards, anyway...seriously, where the hell did they get off to?" Lammy asked Katy distrustingly, strongly suspecting that there was something more than a little fishy going on with those two and their sudden disappearances...and quite possibly brain-related as well, while she was at it.
"Oh, let me tell you, dearie, the question isn't WHERE we're getting off to, it's WHAT we're getting off to!" Ma-San whispered just as comically overexcitedly and fetishistically as ever, fingering herself to Lammy's ignorance all the while.
"SHH!" Parappa hissed warningly at her, leaning over to where her seat was, glancing back and forth profoundly paranoidly and slapping his hand over her mouth to shut her up while she just shrugged her shoulders, threw her arms out beside her and rolled her beady little eyes in response. "IF WE LET HER FIND OUT WE'RE IN HERE, THIS WHOLE MISSION WILL BE A BUST!"
(from Parts 7-8)
MAN, it sure has been one of those days..." Lammy groaned exhaustedly as she woke up and found herself lying face-up on the sidewalk (thankfully with her signature outfit back on, if nothing else) and was immediately greeted by Katy, who reached out her hand to her in an offer to pull her back up onto her feet.
"So, what's new? Am I going to have to go inside YOUR fucking brain and get violently assaulted and raped by your fucking personal demons or some shit?" Lammy asked Katy sarcastically, exhaustedly leaning forward and dangling her arms out in front of her as Katy pulled her right back up onto her feet and gave her a loving smooch on the brightly blushing cheek.
"Personal demons? Oh, bitch PLEASE, everyone knows that THOSE are just a stupid MYTH!" Katy clutched her chest and laughed uproariously; meanwhile, deep inside Lammy's brain, Parappa and Ma-San had already been loudly begging to differ for quite some time now, needless to say.
"HMM...should we, perhaps, release all of these pornographic videos of Lammy to the Internet, a social media platform that is already horrendously oversaturated with outright shameless porn of her?" Ma-San's buck-naked, ridiculously sexualized right-shoulder devil asked her teasingly, furrowing her brows and grinning maliciously as she smugly crossed her deliciously large-footed legs atop Ma-San's shoulder and rested her left elbow against the right side of Ma-San's face.
"Or should we just leave all of them private and make it her responsibility to never, EVER tell ANYONE or any-THING about them?" Ma-San's left-shoulder angel asked her worriedly, glancing nervously around her to make sure no one was watching before finally shrinking back to normal size and flying straight back into Ma-San's brain through her left ear canal while her right-shoulder devil took the right.
"Hee hee hee hee hee...oh, I think I know EXACTLY what WE'RE gonna do..." Ma-San began cackling evilly, rubbing her hands together like a dirty, scheming, no-good little fly while Parappa began thinking to himself about far more pressing and important matters.
"HMM, I wonder...should we, perhaps, have Lammy dump this stupid cat bitch and find herself a new girlfriend that actually KNOWS how to properly spend her money?" Parappa's also-buck-naked and shockingly well-endowed left-shoulder devil asked him arrogantly as he stood atop the poor dog's shoulder and began forcefully tugging on his big floppy ear to get his attention, causing him to loudly yelp and squeal in pain while the little devil just laughed at him in response.
"Or should we, uhh...do...what the DEVIL said, hee hee?" Parappa's right-shoulder angel stammered nervously, awkwardly drumming his fingers together in dead silence as he and the devil flew right back through Parappa's ear canals into his brain without another word whatsoever.
"Damnit, I KNOW it's the right thing to do, but I just can't BRING myself to do it...I mean, what'll Milkcan be without KATY'S big, juicy milk cans?" Parappa rested his head on the computer's dashboard and sobbed gently.
"Meh, I prefer Lammy's ACTUAL FUCKING PERSONALITY myself!" Ma-San VERY hypocritically growled at Parappa, smacking him upside the head and savagely karate-kicking him in the balls.
MEANWHILE IN KATY'S AUTOMOBILE...
"So, anyway...now that the whole meet-and-greet part of that greedy womanizing bastard's contract is finally, FINALLY fucking over with, can we PLEASE go home and get some rest?" Lammy asked Katy exhaustedly, collapsing sideways against Katy's shoulder and falling asleep.
"Of COURSE, cutie-pie; why, that's exactly where we're heading RIGHT NOW, in fact!" Katy chuckled merrily as she lovingly twisted her arm around and patted Lammy on her lovely red head with it while the car rapidly made its way back to the also un-necessarily tall high-rise building that housed Lammy's and Katy's apartment.
A FEW MINUTES LATER, IN LAMMY'S BEDROOM...
"Alright, Lammy, you ready?" Katy asked Lammy encouragingly, strapping herself into her favorite bondage outfit and dimming the lights as she got down on her hands and knees atop Lammy's queen-size bed and once again spanked her ass to signal that it was now officially mating season.
"You BET I am, sister!" Lammy chuckled excitedly as she stripped herself completely naked from head to toe and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, flatten her nails and comb her hair in preparation.
"Wait a minute, SISTER?! Does...does she mean that LITERALLY?!" Parappa gasped in shock.
"It's...it's a REALLY long and morally questionable story to say the least..." Ma-San sighed.
While Lammy was busy taking care of her cosmetic hygiene (note that I only said COSMETIC), Parappa and Ma-San were already drooling at the mouths and shaking in their seats with excitement at the mere THOUGHT of what they were about to get the chance to directly witness in person!
"Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness ONE OF THE SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD." Parappa began ominously explaining, converting Lammy's brain-cam to cockpit view and already trying excruciatingly hard not to bust out laughing as his shit-eating grin grew ever wider.
"At about 11:30, Eastern Standard Time, through THESE eyes' external spiritual surrounding awareness field, or in laymen's terms, their internal third-person video-recording feature, you will get to see Milkcan's ridiculously hot lead guitarist, Lammy, share a nice bit of...(snickers)...LOVE with her lesbian girlfriend Katy." Parappa whispered mischievously to his future audience, covering his mouth with his hands to stop himself from laughing.
"And she ain't DRESSED for the OCCASION, if ya KNOW what I MEAN!" Ma-San creepily snickered, trying even harder to stop herself from bursting out laughing than Parappa was.
"Heeheehee, yup...YOU heard right...she's COMPLETELY...NAAAAY-KEEEED!" the frightfully, increasingly horny Parappa suddenly put one of his hands up against the side of his mouth with the palm facing out and crooned incredibly creepily, his eyes going bloodshot as his aforementioned shit-eating grin suddenly went FAR beyond "ear-to-ear" magnitude and went straight into "earhole-to-earhole" territory.
"WITH NO CLOTHES ON!" Ma-San yelled ecstatically at the tops of her lungs, her eyes suddenly becoming the infamous "overexcited anime sparkler" variety as her nose violently sprayed blood all over the place at the mere PASSING thought of what she and Parappa were about to witness while Parappa face-palmed himself humiliatedly and reluctantly set Lammy's brain-cam back into third-person view.
"Alright, Katy, I'm READY; for your own sake, YOU'D sure as hell BETTER be too!" Lammy called out teasingly to Katy as she walked back into the bedroom, jumped right onto the bed and let the fun and games begin.
"Listen up, BITCH!" Lammy yelled lividly at Katy, getting down on her knees in front of her and brutally bitch-slapping her right across her blue pussy face. "You have absolutely NO fucking idea how goddamned HORRIFIC the fucking things that you and Joe Chin put me through actually WERE, do you? DO YOU?!"
"I'm sorry, I kind of...like, forgot and stuff...can you, like, give me a recap?" Katy asked sarcastically, struggling to continue looking into Lammy's big, bulbous, veiny eyes and not staring at her tits.
"Well, I dunno, HMM, let's SEE here...first I was forced to lick Chop Chop Hobo Onion's filthy disgusting feet that he hadn't properly washed in at least the past two WEEKS, with the fucking SHIT residue from my butthole smeared all over them, no less...then I was fucking mind-controlled into having sex with a morbidly fat and ugly moose woman named after Benito Mooselini while taking her car on a fucking Grand Theft Auto rampage through the city...then I was eaten alive by a fucking drug-dealing con-artist frog from Jamaica and ended up having to fucking DISSECT him from the inside-out with nothing more than my bare fucking HANDS and a chainsaw..." Lammy sarcastically, angrily began recounting while Katy just trembled in fear.
"THEN I was mind-controlled into eating my own fucking NEWBORN CHILD, then I was raped by some creepy-ass pedophile dude that I couldn't even tell whether the species of was flea or some kind of six-limbed spider, then I found out that you had made me unknowingly sniff up Parappa and Ma-San directly into my fucking BRAIN..." Lammy continued, slapping Katy upside the head even harder this time while Katy just helplessly, pathetically quivered in fear and squeezed several laughably fake tears from her eyes in a truly miserable attempt to gain Lammy's sympathy.
"THEN I found myself nearly being suffocated to fucking DEATH in the moldy, rancid, middle-aged vagina of a giant eldritch caterpillar-woman monstrosity who allegedly hadn't even bothered to properly CLEAN said vagina in literally all FIFTY FUCKING YEARS of her life so far...then I got violently abused by a horribly drunken, bipolar and severely mentally retarded airplane pilot who thought he was a drill sergeant...then I got reduced into a literal public sex toy by Paul Chuck and was literally fucked to DEATH by the local populace of anthropomorphic vegetables, inanimate objects and the like...and then FINALLY, once all of THAT shit was over with, I also found myself having literally no choice but to confess all of my deepest and most embarrassing secrets to an entire auditorium filled with the souls of the damned, or DIE! IN MY FUCKING AFTERLIFE, NO LESS!" Lammy shrieked enragedly at Katy, tackling her sorry, bondage-outfitted ass head-over-heels onto the mattress and forcefully jamming her bare, filthy and ever-so-delightfully-reeking feet right into her disturbingly laughing and smiling face.
"TELL me, you fucking pussy, how do YOU like this, huh? Having my dirty, smelly, slimy fucking feet that have not only been rotting away in my fucking SHOES all day without even having a decent pair of fucking SOCKS to keep them company, but have also just recently been used to crawl around on and bloodily mutilate the inner mucus membrane of a fucking fly-gobbling frog's STOMACH like a disgusting little insect while also being covered with a rather admittedly FASCINATING mixture of partially caked mud, frog sweat, Elmer's glue and swamp moss, pressed all over your STUPID FUCKING FACE?! HOW DO YOU FUCKING LIKE IT, HMM?!" Lammy began roaring infuriatedly at Katy, pressing her feet against her girlfriend's face even harder...and causing said girlfriend's already-raging ERECTION to inexplicably GROW even harder as a result! (Yes, she was using Lammy's magically enchanted dildo; please don't question it.)
"Oh, for the love of God, don't fucking tell me-" Lammy began, only to immediately be cut off by Katy.
"Are you freaking kidding me, sister? Why, of COURSE I like it! I fucking LOVE it, in fact! Haven't I already TOLD you about this weird kink of mine many times before? Or am I just dreaming it? Either way, your fucking feet have just GOT to be some of THE absolute sexiest fucking things I honestly think I've ever laid eyes upon in my entire goddamned LIFE...and believe me, I am most definitely NOT afraid to admit that to you!" Katy began laughing excitedly as she fervently licked all the way up and down Lammy's luxuriously smooth and wrinkly soles from the heels to the arches to her adorable little human toes and then back again in a process that she would then go on to repeat many, MANY times over, completely soaking Lammy's soles with her gooey, dripping feline saliva in the process.
"Hmm...well, this is certainly making MY dick a lot harder than it should be, I'll give you THAT much..." Lammy blushed and sighed awkwardly while Katy lovingly sucked her lovely rosy-red-nail-polished toes and gave her a few teasing licks in between them before finally wetly and sloppily kissing them (leaving great big lipstick kiss marks right on the ball of each one, naturally) and diligently sniffing in their wonderful swampy stomach aroma with her passionately bleeding nose.
"I SEE...so THIS is why you keep acting so unbearably DISGUSTED towards me lately..." Katy absentmindedly moaned with delight as she began massaging Lammy's tired, aching, brightly blushing soles with her thumbs while the poor girl murred and sighed with relieved pleasure.
"Do you FINALLY understand now?" Lammy condescendingly looked down at Katy and asked her sarcastically as she pressed her thumbs deeply into Lammy's arches and gave her the pressure-point stimulation of a lifetime, causing her to loudly moan with dominatrix arousal.
"YEAH...it APPEARS it's just as my beautiful Miss Lammy SAID...I'm just a PEST...no, I'm not just a pest, I'm a total fucking filthy, foot-licking PIG..." Katy sighed depressedly as she got back down onto her hands and knees and eagerly awaited Lammy's violently, gratuitously objectifying sexual abuse of her.
"ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MISS LAMMY?! IF I'M A FUCKING FILTHY, FOOT-LICKING PIG, YOU CAN SAY SO!" Katy suddenly began obnoxiously shrieking at the tops of her ever-loving sadomasochistic lungs while Lammy plugged her ears with her fingers to keep her brain from bursting.
"No...I believe you gave your ALL!" Lammy sarcastically complimented her, getting right back down on her knees behind Katy and readying herself for the Grand Penetration Of Her Anus (And Vagina).
"HEY! WHY AREN'T YOU TEASING ME ANYMORE?!" Katy began whining unbearably loudly, forcing Lammy to viciously punch her in the back of the head in order to FINALLY get her to shut up.
"I STILL AM, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" Lammy roared ferociously at Katy, unbuckling her butt/vagina straps and driving her big, fluffy lamb fist deeply into her ass while the crazy cat lady began moaning and purring intensely with sadomasochistic sexual excitement as a result.
TILBOP PART 8
"Again, TELL me, Katy; how do you like my fucking FIST up your FUCKING ASS?!" Lammy yelled dominantly at Katy as she forcefully rammed her fist into Katy's suffocation-inducingly tight ass, causing Katy to moan and purr intensely with arousal.
"OH MY GOD, I FUCKING LOVE IT SO MUCH! I LITERALLY COULDN'T EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE IT!" Katy began rabidly fangirling and squealing in ecstasy, pressing her hands gaily against her blushing (face) cheeks as Lammy finally pulled her fist out from the shit-smothered depths of Katy's internal rectum and then proceeded to move on to her feet as the next means of anal assault.
"How about literally getting your fucking ASS kicked, hmm? How's THAT feel?" Lammy asked Katy smarmily as she stood up on the mattress, bent her knee backward and once again violently rammed her left foot directly into Katy's eagerly awaiting asshole.
"OOOOOOOH!" Katy crooned in both agony and immense pleasure as Lammy took out her left foot from the poor cat bastard's anal cavity before finally moving on to the right foot.
"OHHHHHHH!" Katy squealed in pain as Lammy took out her right foot from her ass-orifice before finally moving on to the thing that she had REALLY been waiting for...
"Hey, GIMME that!" Lammy angrily scolded Katy, forcefully unstrapping her jock strap and re-strapping it where it rightfully belonged...needless to say, ON THE FUCKING LAMB!
"Und now for zee grand deliverance of zee delicious coup-de-grace to begin, ma sœur!" Lammy teasingly cooed into Katy's ear, well aware that the poor little kitten actually WAS, in fact, quite literally her sister. "Let us begin vith zee RUMP ROAST!"
"OHH...AHH...YEAHHHH...THIS IS JUST LIKE GOOD OLD TIMES AT THE ELEMENTARY-SCHOOL PLAYGROUND...EXCEPT WITH BOTH PARTICIPANTS BEING LEGALLY AGED AND FEMALE..." Katy moaned, trembled and shook with arousal as Lammy's massive rubber wiener deeply penetrated her butthole; all the while, Katy could feel her butt tearing as her eyes began to water. She desperately continued to push against Lammy's force, wanting to please her as her dick finally reached climax.
"OHHHH, MOMMMMYYYYYY!" Lammy and Katy both wailed a mighty orgasmic wail in unison as the former lovingly filled the latter's butt with her hot, sticky, gooey, dripping love.
"C'mere, Katy, we've still got more WORK to do! You fuck with the lamb, you get to see the extra-super-duper HORNY side of her!" Lammy laughed excitedly as she scooped Katy up into her lap and began thrusting her already intensely cum-dripping dildo into the eagerly anticipating cat woman's vagina without even bothering to use a condom.
"OHH, LAMMY...YOU ARE JUST TOO GOOD TO ME, YOU KNOW THAT? SERIOUSLY, WHENEVER I'M WITH YOU, I FEEL LIKE I CAN LITERALLY DO ANYTHING...AND THAT MOST ESPECIALLY INCLUDES CREAMING MYSELF, JUST FOR THE RECORD..." Katy happily, softly purred and meowed with delight as she looked behind herself and began lovingly french-kissing Lammy while the sheep slut passionately rammed her rock-hard, throbbing rubber dildo into the cute little kitty girl's incredibly veiny and elastic pussy.
"SWEET LORD HAVE MERCY, THAT FEELS SO GOOD..." Lammy orgasmically moaned and drooled, lovingly caressing Katy's big fluffy feline body and stroking her fingers straight down it from the armpits to the hips, causing Katy to laugh and giggle adorably from how ticklish she was while Lammy's dildo violently quaked and began gushing out yet another deliciously massive load of cum into Katy's fittingly named pussy.
"Don't worry, my dear; I'LL SAVE YOU!" Lammy reassured Katy teasingly as got down on her side with her boobs directly facing Katy, crossed her own legs seductively and grabbed onto the thick, juicy thighs of Katy's with her hands so that she could spread them out and use them as handles while she began diligently digging into the adorable cat lady's now widely stretched-out and therefore opened-up baby-maker with her tongue.
"OOH, THAT FEELS SO GOOD...YOU ARE TRULY THE GREATEST SISTER I'VE EVER HAD, YOU KNOW THAT?" Katy moaned and panted just as lovingly as ever while Lammy's tongue deftly slithered its way deeper and deeper through her delectably moist, soft, warm and squishy vaginal walls until it finally hit the back of her uterus, causing her to loudly yelp with pleasure and surprise as Lammy erotically teased over said vigorously pulsating, throbbing and pounding uterus with her soggy, dripping tongue.
"Wait a minute...aren't YOU also kind of supposed to be Lammy's BROTHER or some shit?!" Ma-San took a roughly four-second break from fingering herself to ask Parappa disgustedly; Parappa, however, was already masturbating FAR too furiously to even care in the slightest. Saying that he was panting and drooling like a dog would be considerably understating it; hell, even his HAT was beginning to stiffen with excitement.
"OH, MY DEARLY BELOVED BIG SIS, HOW I LOVE IT WHEN YOU LICK MY CREAMY CENTER...OHHHHHH, YESSSSSS..." Katy moaned and drooled orgasmically, nearly passing out from sheer relaxation overload as her vagina audibly quaked and began blasting out an entire pint's worth of creamy, gooey estrogen into Lammy's eagerly awaiting mouth.
"So tell me, Katy...what would you like to do next, SLAVE?" Lammy teasingly asked Katy while lasciviously licking her lips and letting Katy's thick, gooey strands of girl-cum dangle from her tongue like hot, melted mozzarella cheese from the spoon of a nice big bowl of tortilla soup.
"Oh, I think I KNOW what I'M gonna do next, thank you very much!" Katy began laughing maniacally as she teasingly stroked her fingers through Lammy's beautiful rosy-red hair, then finally through her own gorgeous golden-blonde hair while submissively lowering herself down onto her knees and offering her big, bulbous boobs to Lammy.
"Come on, you KNOW you want them...just admit it...don't be SHY..." Katy continued playfully teasing Lammy, who then rather unsurprisingly unhesitantly proceeded to stick her dildo right in between Katy's boobs and stroke it up and down through her ever-so-delightfully cute little cleavage.
"Now THIS is what I call servicing your MASTER..." Lammy leaned her head ever-so-slightly back and moaned lovingly with immense satisfaction as Katy began forcefully pushing and sliding her boobs up and down against Lammy's giant rubber shaft in order to therefore speed up its hardening process that much more as a result.
"My, my, you're such a NAUGHTY little pussycat, aren't you? WHO'S A BAD GIRL? WHO'S A BAD GIRL? YES YOU ARE, OH YES YOU ARE!" Lammy began teasing Katy as if she was literally her brainless, domesticated pet, pamperingly stroking the overly attached cat-girlfriend's head as she audibly swallowed her pride, grabbed Lammy's dick, wrapped her lips around the big, chubby tip of it and began sucking like there was no tomorrow.
"Sorry, pal; I'm afraid I'm gonna have to be TAKING this now!" Katy playfully jeered at Lammy as she sneakily stole the jock strap right off of Lammy's waist (while she was busy throwing her head back and moaning in ecstasy, of course) and fastened it right back around hers so that Lammy could deliver the TRUE coup-de-grace finale of the night.
"YOUR BIG SEXY FEET. MY BIG SEXY DICK." Katy concisely commanded Lammy, pointing to each thing in order with her index fingers while Lammy humiliatedly accepted her request and wrapped her lovely, lovely soles and toes around Katy's already rock-hard shaft and began juicing her dick like a berry, tightly squeezing her left foot face-down around the foreskin while stroking her shaft rigorously with her right sole, causing Katy to moan ecstatically as she felt all of its deliciously soft, fleshy and smooth wrinkles and ripples teasing over her progressively more astonishing length.
"COME ON...COME ONNN...OHHH, DEAR GOD, YESSS!" Katy shrieked in orgasmic ecstasy as her dick finally gave in and began uncontrollably gushing out strand after strand of delicious womanly cum all over the frontal portion Lammy's beautiful naked body, prompting the kinky little slut to teasingly rub it all over the rest of her body while giving Katy an additional, good-old-fashioned traditional footjob in the process.
"OH MAN, IT'S GETTING HARDER...HARDER...COME ON, STROKE IT HARDER...JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I'VE NEVER FELT THIS EXCITED BEFORE IN MY ENTIRE SODDING LIFE!" Katy shrieked exhaustedly with orgasmic satisfaction, removing her penis from in-between Lammy's big sexy tootsies and jamming it straight into her big fluffy vagina right at the VERY last second before climax as said penis COMPLETELY exploded yet again, gushing and squirting out what seemed like at least an entire QUART'S worth of pure liquid estrogen into her dearly beloved girlfriend's (and sister's) baby factory.
"OHHHH...SWEET HEAVENS, THIS TASTES SO FUCKING DELICIOUS..." Katy continued exhaustedly moaning with seemingly uncontrollable delight as she wormed her way even DEEPER into Lammy's uterus with her seductive feline tongue, actually managing to bring it all the way into her ovaries while Lammy left a complimentary load of additional estrogen ejaculate all over it to show her orgasmic appreciation.
"ALRIGHT, LAMMY, LET'S GO TO SLEEP NOW, SHALL WE?" Katy asked Lammy exhaustedly, panting and moaning and dripping with hot, sticky sweat to very much the same extent that Lammy was as she reached into Lammy's vagina, scooped out the portion of cum that she HADN'T already licked and swallowed from it with her hands, and lovingly drizzled it all over her tantalizing naked body.
"WE SHALL INDEED, SISTER; WE SHALL INDEED!" Lammy laughed delightedly as she and Katy curled up lovingly in bed together and excitedly began licking every last drop of recently-smeared-on cum right off of each other's gorgeously naked bodies, not even bothering to hide themselves underneath the covers in the process.
"SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, THAT WAS SO HOT..." Parappa and Ma-San moaned orgasmically in disbelief and passed out head-over-heels onto the wrinkly, spongy, vigorously throbbing and pulsating floor of Lammy's brain, their massive loads of cum STILL slowly but surely trickling down Lammy's thankfully self-cleaning computer screen as the recording went on for about fifteen more minutes before FINALLY fading to black.
submitted by FenderBender4756 to copypasta [link] [comments]
2018.02.26 09:49 MelonMan226 deep sleep made by Keith Daniels
I need to get back to digging soon.
My son is digging now, god bless him. He thinks I’m asleep, but that’s not going to happen. I haven’t slept easy for the last year. And now… now I don’t sleep at all.
It was about a year and a half ago that we moved. Karen got the RN position at the local clinic and I had been laid off from work at the greenhouses for a few months. We were getting low on money. Debt up to our necks. Tuition fees. Bills. We had no choice.
We packed up everything we could, sold what we couldn’t afford to move, and left our home of 14 years behind us. Our boy, Liam, was away at university at the time. I don’t think he understood how tight things were getting for us. I hope not. We didn’t need him worrying about all of that.
Right away we settled into the place. Karen was working 11 hour shifts at the clinic, on call 24/7. I started making money however I could. Yard work, some minor carpentry. After a couple months I got in with a roofing crew and by then we were doing okay. Started paying off the bills. Started getting our lives back in order.
That’s when it started happening.
Karen always had the nightmares. She told me how even as a little girl she would be afraid to go to bed… afraid to close her eyes for very long. I can remember when we first started dating back in high school, the first night we slept together she woke up screaming in the middle of the night. I’d never seen somebody so afraid. Most people tend to grow out of those things when they get older. The occasional bad dream isn’t that abnormal, but for me, adulthood means now I hardly dream at all. For Karen, the dreams never went away. She’d wake up almost every night in a sweat, shaking and out of breath. About three years after our marriage she finally took the doctor’s advice and went on a sleeping aid. They didn’t stop completely, but with the pills she could get through every other night with at least a few hours of good sleep. That’s what she told me, at least.
It was always the same. She’d wake up with a jump, breathing fast and wiping tears out of her eyes. “I was falling again,” she’d say, “just falling down and down.” I’d hold her for a bit, we’d shake it off and go back to sleep. It was normal for us, just one of those things you deal with as a couple. I never thought it would get so bad.
We’d both had a long day. Karen had just got home from the clinic and I’d finished up work on the Thompsons’ roof with the boys about an hour before she got back. I had the grill going when she walked up the front steps. It was the hottest day of that summer. Thirty-six degrees in the shade. Isn’t it funny, the stupid little things you remember? We ate porkchops for supper. Talked to Liam on the phone. Had a cold shower and watched some TV before going upstairs to bed.
I woke up, expecting to hear Karen’s rapid breathing and gasp of shock, but everything was quiet. Peaceful. Something was off, though. Something didn’t feel right. I don’t know if you have a significant other in your life, but when you share a bed with somebody for a long time you get real used to it. There’s a certain sense you have of that person lying next to you. I realized then what it was that felt so off. I couldn’t feel Karen next to me.
Then the strangest thing happened: I felt her hit the bed.
She screamed, louder and more afraid than I’d heard her in years. By the time I got my senses together enough to hold on to her to try and calm her down, she was completely soaked in sweat. When I pulled the bed sheets off her, Karen’s skin was cold to the touch and she wouldn’t stop crying. I had never felt so helpless, holding onto her and trying to talk her out of it. “It’s okay,” I told her, “you’re okay.” All the while, the bed was still shaking from when she had landed on the mattress.
After a long time, she did fall back to sleep. I laid awake, thinking. What happened hadn’t made any sense. I was sure that this time – and as far as I knew, for the first time – Karen really had been falling in her sleep.
After thinking it over for what felt like hours, I convinced myself of how it all went down. She must have been sleepwalking and fell on the bed just after I woke up. That would explain why she hit the bed so hard, and maybe when she had been walking around, she had bumped into something and that’s why I had woken up at that moment. I never woke up before Karen, not before this one time.
I laid there until morning trying to believe the explanation I had come up with, but two things wouldn’t allow me to be convinced. Karen never sleepwalked, and even if she had been that night, how did she get under the sheets so fast after falling into bed?
I remember being completely out of it the next day, after getting hardly any sleep and having the incident heavy on my mind. I didn’t say anything to Karen about it, but I could tell she knew something was up. That night when we went to bed, I didn’t fall asleep as quickly as I usually did. I lay there next to her, feeling the sheets move with her breathing, hearing the rain pattering over the deck outside.
That night, she didn’t even wake up, and after a few hours, I went to sleep.
It didn’t happen again the rest of the week. The week after that, she had a couple of nightmares, but nothing out of the ordinary, just what we had grown used to over the years. Another week passed by, and I stopped worrying about it. We carried on with our lives. Liam came home to visit for a few days between the end of his summer job and the start of the new semester. Things were good.
A week after Labor Day, it happened again. This time it was worse.
At four in the morning I woke up to Karen screaming and shaking around, but again, something was off. Her screams were shrill, frantic, but her voice sounded muffled. Again, I couldn’t feel her lying next to me, and I started crawling around, pulling up the sheets and feeling around for her with no luck. In my freshly-woken state, it took me a moment to realize what was happening. Karen’s screams were coming from underneath the bed.
With the lights on and my senses back I got her out from under there in a few seconds, but she was in rough shape. By the time I got her calmed down, she was still shivering like hell, cold and sweaty. I wanted to take her to the clinic, but she wouldn’t go, she just wouldn’t.
We sat there all night, leaning up against the bed, holding on to each other with the lights turned on. When I started to come down from the shock, I told Karen I was scared. She told me that she was too. With my wife’s new sleepwalking problem, sleep started becoming hard to come by. Most nights I’d end up lying awake until sunrise, unable to keep my eyes shut. Karen would tell me there was nothing to worry about, but of course, I couldn’t believe her.
Not more than two weeks had passed when it happened the next time. Just like before, Karen would end up under the bed in a complete state of shock. I could do nothing but get her out of there as fast as possible and try to calm her down. In November it happened twice. Still, she refused to go see the doctor. The end of November is when I decided to set up the camera.
I didn’t tell Karen about it at first because I knew she wouldn’t allow it. She was determined to try and forget about the incidents, but I couldn’t. It felt too strange to write off as a sudden case of sleepwalking, and if that’s all it was, at least then I’d know for sure.
I borrowed a trail cam from one of the boys in the roofing crew. They’d use it for hunting during the fall. Basically, you set the thing up and if it detects motion, an infrared camera takes a snapshot of whatever’s going on. It works in total dark, and will take a picture every five seconds as long as there is movement. If Karen was sleepwalking, I’d have to catch it with this thing.
I hid it in my work bag, which I kept on my dresser in the bedroom. Each night before bed, while Karen was in the bathroom taking her makeup off, I’d turn on the trail cam and set it up so that the lens pointed out of the open end of the bag. For weeks I’d set up that damned thing every night and nothing happened. Karen would have her usual nightmares, but nothing like what had happened before. Every morning I’d check the photos and find nothing but a few shots of us rolling over in bed, or the occasional time one of us went to the bathroom. Nothing. I started wondering why I was doing this but during Christmas break Karen had another incident, and this time the camera was ready.
Liam was home for Christmas and we’d all been over to a friends’ place for a visit and drinks. Around midnight we got back home and said goodnight to one another before heading upstairs to our bedrooms. I turned on the trail cam, not really expecting anything. At that point it had just become habit.
I jumped out of bed as soon as I heard Karen’s screams. I turned on the light and rushed back to the bed, ready to reach in and pull her out, my heart pounding in my chest. I got down on my hands and knees but realized after a moment that she wasn’t there. The space under the bed was empty.
That’s when Liam came into the room. His face was a mixture of confusion and shock. He said “Dad, what’s going on?” I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t think.
I realized then that Karen’s screaming was coming from outside the bedroom, she sounded like she was downstairs somewhere. I darted out of the room and ran down the hall, down the stairs with Liam following close behind. We found her lying in the middle of the kitchen floor, clutching her bloody left arm to her chest. She was sobbing, screaming in terror and unable to get up off the floor. When I went to her I saw the bone jutting out of her forearm. Instinct kicked in. I picked her up in my arms, Liam grabbed the keys and together we got her into the truck and were rushing up the clinic steps in under ten minutes.
The rest of the night was hectic. After checking out her arm, the doctor got us on the ambulance to the city. Liam rode in the back with his mom, I followed them in the truck. Longest goddamned four-hour drive of my life. At the hospital they fixed her arm, and found three broken ribs as well, all on her left side. The verdict was pretty clear – she must have fallen while sleepwalking. But even the doctor at the hospital had to agree with me that it was an awful lot of damage for such a simple fall. His reasoning? He said she must have climbed up on the kitchen counter and jumped off.
Liam had so many questions. I didn’t know what to tell him, so I told him the lie we’d been telling ourselves for the last half a year. “Your mom’s been sleepwalking a lot lately,” I told him. “Don’t worry, we’ve got it under control,” I told him.
I didn’t look at the photos until after he’d gone back for the winter semester. I didn’t want to look at them, even then. I was scared to.
There were twenty pictures taken that night. Three of Karen walking in the room and getting into bed. Two of me and Karen rolling over. Twelve of Liam and I in the bedroom until we ran out. There were three pictures from before I woke up that scared the living hell out of me, and those are why I told Karen about the trail cam.
The first picture showed me and Karen lying side by side in bed, blankets up to our chins, peacefully sleeping. The next showed us in the exact same positions, me on my right side, Karen on her left, but she appeared to be floating about a foot above the bed. In the next picture, she was gone. I realized then what I had been too unnerved to notice at the time of the incident – the place we found Karen in the kitchen is directly below our bed upstairs.
She wasn’t happy when I told her I’d been spying on us for months. Karen doesn’t get mad often, but when she does it’s not something you want to be around for. Finally, though, I convinced her to look at the pictures. She cried for hours, and I with her.
We took no chances after that. From that day on Karen and I slept in shifts, each staying awake to watch the other. That was our promise to one another. I’m not sure I ever really slept, though. I was too afraid Karen would fall asleep as well, and then without me watching, it would happen again. I had a fear that I refused to voice to Karen, that I was too afraid to even think to myself about for more than a moment. Karen had somehow fallen through a whole story of our house and broken a few bones. We also had a basement below that level. If the fall to the kitchen floor ten feet below had broken her arm, what would a twenty-foot fall do? The basement floor was solid, unfinished concrete. Even now, after all that’s happened, I can’t think about that.
We kept it up, sleeping in turns. I would watch Karen for the first four hours, and then she would watch me. We lived like that for eight months. Constantly tired, constantly afraid. We stopped going out, stopped talking to people. I don’t know how many times I damn near fell off the edge of somebody’s roof from exhaustion. I don’t know how Karen kept it up. She was always the stronger one. We promised to one another that we’d get through it, that this thing wouldn’t destroy us. God, what I wouldn’t give to go back and change things. But it’s too late for that. I failed her. It’s all my fault.
It was almost two thirty in the morning. There were only about five minutes left before the alarm would go off and we’d switch places. Karen would get up and I’d lie down. It was warm. It was quiet. She was lying on her left side, like she always did, breathing softly. I remember thinking that, from my angle, it looked like she was smiling. My back was aching, and I leaned back against the headboard for just a moment to rest it. I closed my eyes and let myself relax for the first time in a long time.
Karen’s alarm woke me, and she wasn’t there. This time, I couldn’t hear her screaming. I called out to her, but she didn’t answer.
She wasn’t under the bed, and she wasn’t downstairs in the kitchen. I ran all through the house, screaming, yelling out to her, praying that I’d turn a corner and there she’d be, just coming back from getting a glass of water or using the bathroom. She wasn’t anywhere in the first or second story of the house, and that left only one place to look.
I opened the basement door, and went down. Karen wasn’t there, either.
For a few seconds, I felt relief. Just a few seconds. After that, I fell to the floor and lost myself. I lay on that cold, concrete floor in tears. All the exhaustion and emotion that had built up in me over those eight long months just took over, and I couldn’t get up. In my hysteria I imagined her down there somewhere under the ground, still screaming and shaking in fear from her falling nightmare. A few times I even thought I could hear her. The next morning the clinic called the house asking about Karen. “She’s gone,” I told them, “I lost her.” I don’t know how long I spent walking around in the house, calling out her name before I finally decided what needed to be done. I went out to the shed, the sunlight blinding me, and grabbed the sledgehammer and pickaxe.
The cops came to the house. The sheriff and deputy both came to check things out after Karen hadn’t shown up for work and I suppose what I told the receptionist must have given them a bit of a scare. They asked me what I was doing all covered in dirt and dust and I told them just what I was doing. “Looking for Karen,” I told them. Now, I get it. They thought I killed her. That’s why they asked to come in. That’s why they wanted me to show them around the house.
I showed them every room, every corner, every closet. I showed them the pictures from the trail cam. I took them to the basement and showed them my work. It had taken me nearly the entire day to break through the concrete and get it cleared away. By the time they showed up, I’d dug down about two feet into the soil. It’s really rocky here, so it takes a long time to make any progress. I asked them If they would help me out for a while. Sheriff agreed to help me while deputy went to make a phone call. After a while he came back too. For a bit they just watched me dig, but then they joined in too.
I don’t know what they expected, but whatever it was, they didn’t get it. They asked me a few times where Karen was, and I told them I didn’t know. How could I possibly explain it to them? How could they ever understand?
It broke my heart when Liam showed up at the house. Deputy had called him. He’d left the city as soon as he could, and made the drive home in three hours. He asked me what was going on, and how could I lie to him again? How could I look my boy in the eye and tell him everything was okay? Everything came out. I told him about how the nightmares his mother had been having had gotten worse, and about how she kept falling and falling. At first, I know he thought I was crazy, but now I’m not so sure. He was there that night she broke her arm. He knows that whatever’s happening to us is not normal. Even the cops haven’t accused me of madness yet.
He asked me for a shovel, and started digging as well. That was yesterday. After a while, the cops left. I asked them If they’d come back to help again in the morning, and they did. Now that there’re four of us, the work is going much quicker. The cops keep asking me where Karen is, and I keep telling them she has to be down there somewhere. It’s not the answer they’re looking for, but it’s the best I have.
At noon today, the deputy himself stopped digging and held up a hand for us to listen. I don’t know what it is, but we can hear sounds coming from below. Somewhere deeper down, something is making noise. If you hold still with your hand to the ground, you can feel the rocks shaking from time to time. We kept digging. At the time, the hole was about seven feet deep, so we set up a ladder to help with climbing in and out for breaks.
At six o’clock we turned over a rock the size of the kitchen table, and lying underneath it, as shiny and clean as the day I bought it, was Karen’s engagement ring. We kept digging. The ground is different down there. The earth is darker. Metallic, almost. The noises are getting louder. Sometimes, they sound like voices.
It must have been just before ten when they told me to come upstairs and lie down. I didn’t want to, I wanted to keep helping, but Liam made me promise. I won’t go breaking promises to my family again. I won’t.
I need to get back to digging soon. It’s been a few hours, and I think I can hear the sheriff shouting from downstairs. Maybe they’ve found something else. Maybe she’s still alive. Maybe.
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2018.01.09 10:03 FatalBellman The Green Ram
-GC- The Green Ram
There’s not much I can tell you. Right now I’m locked inside my own bathroom waiting for that thing to leave me alone.
It has claws you know. Claws that could tear this door apart. Claws that can tear me apart. But that would be too easy. It likes to play with me.
She brushes her nails against the door. knowing that I would hear that menacing clawing noise.
Every now and then she sings for me. Her voice is so soft and so tender for a monster. Every hum promising something new. Telling me to open the door. Telling me that we have to unite. Telling me that all she wants to do is to give me a helping hand.
So far I managed to resist the urges to open the door. But I doubt that I can resist longer.
Hurry up Katsu. I’m running out of time.
I’m writing my misfortunes on a note book that I grabbed from my desk before I locked myself in, and I’ll show the world what this game really is.
It’s a curse.
But before all that let me tell you how I ended up here.
It has been at least 2 months since I spoke to Katsu. Unlike me he was in a collage learning programming and all that.
You see, I was a dreamer. I wanted to be a writer. And as soon as I was done with high school. I told my parents to I wouldn’t go to collage and instead of that I wanted to be a writer.
Their reacted very differently. My mom started shouting at me and my dad stopped talking to me. 1 month ! I endured that torment for 1 fucking month!
At the end I was growing tired of all the bullshit and I told them that I wanted to move out.
I knew that I had to move out, since every time I went home my mom looked at me like she was going to kill me. and my dad straight up started to ignore me.
I knew how hard both of them worked and I knew that I was gonna be the first one in our family to go to a collage but I knew that I didn’t wanted that, guess I was too selfish for my own sake.
It didn’t take long for me to move out. I looked for a place that was affordable, but somewhat cool at the same time.
I ended up finding a small apartmant floor, in a old neighborhood, the apartmant floor had one small room, a large living room and a crooked kitchen.
The rent was cheap, so I didn’t even think twice before renting the place, I applied for a loan, and took the rest from my mom. The next thing I knew was I had my very own a house.
I spent the first day bringing my stuff in, I didn’t bring a lot of my stuff, so it took me only 4 hours to completely settle in, since the day was still young, and I didn’t had my Internet installed.
my sense of adventure took the best of me, so I hit the streets with the intention of discovering my new neighborhood.
This neighborhood was a hidden gem, rustic buildings in twisted alleys, different cafes that all stood out in one way or another. And to top it all of a gorgeous park.
Apparently many years ago, this whole vicinity was dedicated to artists and musicians.
It was the turning moment in my life. Since my new neighborhood was nothing short then a writers paradise. I hung outside till it got dark outside and as soon as it got dark I slowly and almost musically walked towards my house.
It took me about an hour to find my house, since this part of the city was apparently lacking on street lights, and when I finally saw that familiar street I was dead exhausted, but when I saw my house from the alley way, all of my exhaustion faded and I almost skipped towards the house.
I had the jam my key in to the entrance door and push it left and right a couple of times before the door opened, but I didn’t care, I climbed the vertical staircases two by two till I reached the third floor and opened the stained white door and got in, the first thing that drew my attention was my TV. I didn’t recall installing it but It was on, and it was showcasing a weird game show. The immediate setting grabbed my attention and I sat right in front of the TV. I was drawn to it.
Now everything makes a little bit more sense.
The TV show seemed like one of those prank game shows. That episode took place in a butcher shop, It showed 2 butchers that were cutting animal carcasses in different sizes and shapes, but before the butchers came into the scene the secret camera revealed that some of the carcasses were men in realistic carcass costumes.
From the first sight I thought this was nothing but a edgy prank show. But the TV show took a turn real quick, one of the butchers took one of the men who wore the carcass costume and placed it on the chopping table.
The man’s face was towards the camera so you could still see him giggling. But something struck me as bizarre, these costumes seemed way too real. they seemed like they were made out of actual animal flesh, since the costumes were shining as light struck them, and to top it all of they seemed like they were actually bleeding.
As I was paying attention to costumes in the back, something happened. It was a swift strike with a butchers knife.
Then it happened again the butcher stroke the man with a larger cleaver this time. As the guy was laughing, the poor butcher didn’t even know what was happening till he was half way done with the carcass. and then he finally realized what he had done.
The guy was chopped in half, even though he was dead he had smirk expression on his face, the first butcher that chopped the guy off backed up, as the second one was still trying to understand what was happening.
Then with a sudden burst of surprise all the men who hid as carcasses jumped out of their places and started beating up the first guy.
Tere were 4 of them, so they easily knocked the first butcher down and they started stomping on him, as the second butcher watched in horror, one of the 4 men got up and grabbed a cleaver from the butchers table and started hacking him with it.
The camera was placed in such way that as this was happening you could see the smiling face of the 5th man who got butchered by the butcher. it wasn’t long till all were covered in blood including the second butcher.
Then all of a sudden a tall man in a suit entered the frame, he had a Grey suit on and he was at least 8 feet tall. There was something wrong with this man. He didn’t had a face. At least he was positioning himself in such a way that the camera could never capture a glimpse of his face. Sometimes the camera was only inches away, and sometimes his face was just out of the frame.
He walked towards the terrified butcher and said “Welcome to the Laugh is Laugh.” then a crappy sitcom laugh effect echoed in the studio and they all started laughing, including the butcher who was scared shitless only a second prior.
They all turned towards the camera and shouted “Laugh is Laugh.” Then the video cutted to a picture that said “Laugh is Laugh season 46.” And right after that the screen flashed green and then left its place to static, I was a little freaked out about it but, I chose to believe that it was a kind of promotion for an ‘Adult Swim Special’ or something. Even though I didn’t had my Cable channels installed. Before going to the kitchen I moved couple of channels up and down, but it displayed nothing but static.
It had been a week since I had settled in to my apartment. Now I had all of my junk installed.
Finally I was starting to feel like I was at home. It was one of those days, where I was itching for some cash and went into a cafe. I found the owner and asked him for an employment. He asked me some questions and before sun down I was employed.
I was hired for the night shift, the payment was really crappy. But I wasn’t exactly living lavish so it didn’t bother me.
I was dining on a cup of noodles and drowning my isolation on diet cola.
I knew that all this was an experimental stage of my life. I knew that sooner or later I was gonna write a best selling horror book. But till then I was eating noodle and optimistically searching for book ideas.
My first night at the cafe was all right, I served some tables and chat with my brand new colleagues.
They were all a lively bunch, in the meantime I was writing at my breaks and whenever else I could.
Since I had no idea about what I wanted to write about, I started writing about everyone that I would encounter in the cafe with the shivering hope of digging a plot out of them.
Apparently I was really occupied since the time passed faster then I anticipated, before I could realize it my first day (or night) was over.
I got out of the cafe at 11 pm and slowly started walking towards my house. Like everything else the cafe wasn’t far from my house.
According to my worn out G-Shock, I reached home at 11:15 and I was sipping my bitter coffee in my kitchen at 11:20. As I was sipping my coffee I noticed something that I hadn’t noticed before.
From my kitchen window I could partially see inside of an apartment floor that was adjacent to my house.
I could see the blue LED light that was radiating from his room.
Inside the room, I could see a computer. And in front of the computer was a topless guy, that seemed almost chained to the computer, there wasn’t much that I could describe of him;
He was brunette and pale, but what stood out was his physique. he was thin. But not in a normal way, he was painfully thin. as if every time he breathed in, he was in agony.
As I was looking at him he did something unexpected, he got up and went towards the window and he looked at me dead in the eyes and lit a cigarette, then looked at me and raised his cigarette as if he was inviting me to smoke with him. I smiled and replied to him with the same gesture by using my cup.
While he was smoking, he looked me deep in the eyes and I did the same. After 15 minutes or so my mug ran out of coffee for me to drink So I went back in and sat in front of my computer, which I installed a day or so earlier.
I opened my writing app that I pirated ages ago and started writing about a man who was chained to his chair and would’ve been killed if he left the room. Since he couldn’t do anything to save himself, the only thing that he could do was to smoke and invite people to smoke with him via mute gestures.
The story was short and disturbing, so it went to my “shelved” folder.
I didn’t think much of it, I turned off my computer and went to sleep.
Tomorrow I woke up from numerous nightmares, some were to short to recall, and some were so chilling that even a desperate writer wouldn’t dare to conjure.
I got out of the bed with great effort and sat in front of my computer. I turned my computer on, as I was licking my yellow and stained teeth. after couple of seconds I was ready to go.
The blend computer wallpaper was looking at me as I was looking at it. I opened a news tab, desperately looking for an interesting story to write about, there was a story that drew my attention before any other. It was the one which came before all the other ones.
My curiosity took the best of me and so I clicked on it. The story was called the “Green Ram.” the article was short and grim. It was about a mysterious game which caused some kids to suicide and some others to go on a killing spree, I tried to find any additional information, but the problem was I didn’t knew what I was looking for.
A site maybe or a download link, but I couldn’t find anything. It seemed like the news agency didn’t wanted the people poking around.
I closed my browser and opened the infamous Tor browser and did what everyone with a limited information about the deep web would do. I went to the Intel Exchange and searched “Green Ram.” To my surprise there was a match.
It was a single link but it was there, and It said “ A hE1pInG hANd” I had no idea how my search led me up to this link, since this link had nothing in common with the word “Green Ram.” But it was there and I didn’t had anything else to click on, so I clicked on my only choice.
The page opened in an instant and I wasn’t presented with much eye candy, the link was on the middle of the screen, but there was nothing that accompanied it. No inserted text, No picture, No advertisement and no comments.
I stared at the black screen as silence scratched my ear drums. I seized my only opportunity and clicked on the link. With the blink of an eye I saw the downward arrow on the top side of my browser page and naturally clicked on the downloads tab. There it was. It wasn’t called ‘a helping hand’ or anything like that it was named “GRN-RM.”
I thought that it was an abbreviation for Green Ram. it took my crappy internet 20 minutes to download the file, which was surprising for me since I just installed my network and it seemed to be slow if not completely dead beat still.
I waited my fair share of 20 minutes and clicked on the application as fast as I could, it was 02:00 AM in the morning and I didn’t know how much juice I had left in me so I wanted to open the game and get on my way as soon as possible, the game opened and with the blink of an eye, and it installed itself on to my computer.
No warnings, no conspicuous protocols that I would blindly press yes, the application opened and a flash of green screen stabbed me in the eye.
I ignored it and took a good look at the screen, the screen seemed ‘Retro active.’ It was a pixel green screen with a black label that said “Green Ram” and on the middle of the screen where the options should’ve been was a simple 8-bit “Start the game” option. It didn’t had anything else, or at least anything else that I could see.
There were no options, no developer trade mark, it was as if one day this game just came in to existence. I putted on my headphones and pressed enter.
The first thing that the green ram hit me with was the black screen. As soon as I pressed enter the screen went all black and for a short moment left me alone with the reality.
It was middle of the night and I was staring at a video game screen which I downloaded from deep web earlier. The first thing I heard was the wind, the sweet midnight gust ghastly passing through windows. But before I could listen more to the wind, the game lunched with a load of 8-bit music that almost made me jump out of my seat.
It wasn’t what I expected, all I had was a text box that said “Chat with me!” Now it was obvious that it was nothing but a edgy collage art project. I don’t know know what I was expecting from this crappy game. But the first impression was nothing short than a disappointment.
One part of me was relieved that the thing was nothing more than a gag. But my other part was disappointed, since there was nothing to write about.
I inhaled and exhaled with disappointment, but since I came this far, I typed in “Hello” and to my surprise a reply came as quick as lightning. “Could you help me escape from the Green Ram ?” At this point I was really tired, I looked at my phone and saw that it was 3 Am. Exhaustion over came my will, and I typed “No” before giving the AI a chance to type back, I turned off my computer and went to sleep.
That night I saw the most realistic nightmare of my life:
I opened my eyes in the middle of a forest. I looked around and saw nothing but the towering trees, I breathed in the dreamy air and it burned my lungs.
As I slowly started to acknowledge my surroundings the cold air chilled my body and soul. As shocked as I was there was something peaceful about being in a forest, I slowly started walking into the wilderness.
I walked what it felt like an eternity, I kept walking till all the trees looked the same, I kept walking till the cold didn’t bother me anymore. At last I herd a voice “I’m gonna die like the others the ram is gonna get me.” That snapped me out of my walking trans. The voice sounded fragile and quite , there was no doubt that this voice belonged to a girl, a girl that sounded scared and desperate, as she was talking I walked towards her voice with a sense of increasing awareness.
Each step felt closer, every tree that I touched felt colder till I found an opening. in that opening was a tree trunk and on the tree trunk was a girl, she didn’t look a day older then 7. her blonde hair came all the way down to her stained white dress. She was pale and skinny. she looked like she didn’t had anything to eat for days, I checked my pocket to see if I had anything on me that I could give to the girl, just to realize that I was wearing the same outfit that I went to bed with, the only thing my hand brushed against was the hole in my left pocket. I put my hand in my right pocket and walked towards the girl, she was looking down as I approached her.
Now that I was close to her, my so called dream regained it’s surrealism. as I was getting closer to her she kept getting away, every step that I took towards her made her go further and further away, finally I screamed “Are you all right little girl ?” she replied “there were ones before me and there will be more after me.” Now her voice wasn’t the sweat voice of a little girl that was looking for help, she sounded tired “This is the life of a prey you know.” she said, while still staring at the ground. “What are you talking about ?” I said as cold stroke my bones once again. “Can’t you see it ?” the girl asked. Now I could feel the frustration in her voice “See what?” I asked, slightly feeling the bitter taste of betrayal. “Look around. Can’t you see it, this forest is not real, this pain is not real.” “What are you trying to say ?” “This thirst, this hunger and this pain is what we asked for.” “What ?” “Cold, confused and blind.” she looked up for the first time. And that was when I saw her empty eye sockets.
I slowly tried to backed away from her but it was futile. For every step I took back she took two steps towards me. And with the blink of an eye she was in front me “This is the life of a prey.” Shouted the girl, now standing right in front of me. “what are you ?” I shrieked.
“I am what you can be. But the question is if I’m the prey who is the hunter ?” The cold winter breeze stabbed my eye so I blinked and when I opened my eyes, she was back sitting on the trunk.
“Is it the Green Ram?” I asked.
“Wake up and play the game, wake up and beat the game, wake up and SAVE US !” She shouted.
“And avoid the mead, the pet can’t see you. But it can hear you.”
Suddenly I felt a pulsing pain that was conquering my body. I closed my eyes with pain. And when I opened it back up I was back in my room.
As soon as I opened my eyes I rolled out of my bed and almost jumped onto my seat, I turned on my computer with a speed that wasn’t expected from a man that just woke up.
I clicked on the ram logo and started biting my nails off. As I waited for the game to start, after 30 seconds the game blasted my ears off with 8-bit upbeat music, just like last time I wasn’t given no options.
I inhaled and exhaled deeply as the ‘Start Game’ option stared deep into my soul, I pressed enter and waited for my own demise.
There were 3 slots on the screen, the top one said ‘Clara’ and it was crossed out with a line and the ones underneath that slot simply said empty slot, I was automatically on the one that said Clara, I pressed enter but nothing happened.
I moved down a slot to one of the empty slots and as soon as I saw the flashing on the empty slot I pressed enter.
Chapter 03 - Grimm Ville - Edmond F. Clarence
The game’s text inter face opened with : Grimm Vile 1965 - Edmond F. Clarence.
Then another text appeared : Will you help me hide from the Green Ram?
I typed “Yes.”
“I hear a noise coming from the kitchen. What should I do?”
I knew that Green Ram was more then a game so I knew that I couldn’t mess up but something was making me scratch my head, the game stated that the location is a place called Grimm Ville and the name of the person who I was helping was clear but the year made me scratch my head.
1965 I thought, If this game was what I thought it was the year didn’t made any sense.
Could it be that this Green Ram guy existed in a different plane?
Was someone playing a prank on me ?
Regardless the possibilities I couldn’t abandon this kid like the one that I abandoned last night.
“Where are you?”
“I’m in the living room.”
“Is the door locked?”
“I don’t know.”
“Check it. If it’s not locked, lock it.”
“I locked it.”
“The banging is getting louder, what should I do?”
“How old are you?”
“Good, that means yo are old enough to protect yourself. Does your dad have a gun hidden somewhere around the house?”
“He has my grandfather’s revolver in his bedroom drawer”
“Go to his room and grab the revolver.”
Then I saw a text color that I haven’t seen before.
It wasn’t green like our text, oh no It was a color that revealed the intention of the player. It was dark red.
“I CAN SMELL YOU EDMOND!” said the red text.
“Something just broke the door.” said Edmond.
“Who are you?” I asked
“EDMOND YOU ARE A SMART BOY, IT’S WAY PAST YOUR BEDTIME AND NOBODY IS HOME YET, DO YOU KNOW WHY ?”
“I said who are you!”
“CAUSE YOUR MOM, DAD AND YOUR LITTLE BROTHER MARK ARE LYING RIGHT OUTSIDE THIS DOOR”
“Don’t listen to it Edmond, it just wants to fool you.”
‘DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THEM EDMOND?”
‘I can hear it singing.’ typed Edmond.
“GRAB THE REVOLVER EDMOND.’ I typed with fury.
“You gotta hear this. It’s as if an angel is singing.”
“YOU CAN HEAR THEM SINGING CAN’T YOU EDMOND?”
“Edmond just grab the fucking revolver.” I typed with haste.
“I can’t lift it, it’s way too heavy.”
“I’M COMING FOR YOU EDMOND. JUST HOLD STILL AND I’LL FIND YOU.”
“I’m hearing footsteps.” Typed Edmond.
“Just lift it and point it against the door way Edmond that’s our only chance!” I typed with nervousness, slowly realizing that this felt like it was more than a game.
“OHH YOU ARE IN THE BEDROOM EDMOND, I CAN SMELL YOUR FEAR FROM THE STAIRS AND OHH WAIT... AND I ASLO SMELL SOMETHING ELSE.”
“Edmond are you holding the gun?”
“Yes.... I can see it. Mo I can see her!”
‘Edmond pull the trigger’ I typed, as I was s
“I...I.. did but nothing happened!”
“What do you mean nothing happened?” I thought, as I was internally cursing at the game.
“I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS EDMOND.” Said the red text.
“YOUR BELOVED PLAYER DIDN’T TELL YOU TO LOAD THE GUN.”
“LOAD THE DAMN THING EDMOND!” I typed with all my might.
“It’s too late...” Said the sad little text.
“IT’S TIME TO REUNITE YOU WITH YOUR FAMILY EDMOND.”
“Yes Ma’am.” Typed Edmond
“GOOD BOY, JUST HOLD MY HAND AND I WILL RELIEVE YOU FROM THE PAIN.”
Just before I could type more, my computer turned off and left me completely dumbfounded.
I did what I could, I tried to turn on my computer but nothing happened. Regardless the result I kept pushing the button. But just as I pressed it for the 10th time I heard a noise from the living room and my heart almost stopped.
I slowly got up and did something that I wouldn’t have done normally. I charged in to the living room.
I’ve charged in with delirium just to find something that would send chills down my spine. It was the TV. The fucking television was moved out if it’s place.
Normally I had my TV right against the living room wall - but now my TV was a feet left to it’s original position. As if it was looking towards the hallway.
I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know what to think.
“Am I getting influenced by this crappy horror game?” I thought to myself.
Has the TV always been in that position?
Was it moved away from it’s original position?
Who moved it?
Was it the gReEN raM?
Honestly to this day I don’t know what I was thinking. But I can tell you what happened next.
I went towards my house door to see if it was locked or not-I checked the door. It was locked.
I pushed and pulled the door frenetically to see if .... I dont know. To see if the door was actually locked or not.
I turned around and headed towards the TV. I was gonna take that thing and throw it out for good. But just as I crouched to grab it, the fucking thing turned on, and I almost had a stroke.
The static blasted the semi-empty living room with gloomy light. I backed away from the TV as quickly as I could.
The TV played static for a while as I stared at it blankly. After couple minutes of static it jumped to hand-cam footage.
At first it was dark and not much could be seen and the only thing that I could hear was heavy inhuman breathing.
The footage seemed to be looping. First It was the darkness, then it was the heavy breathing and finally there was the eye blinding light.
It seemed like the person who was holding the camera was hiding in somewhere dark and every now and then they would peep at a place much brighter. But right before the camera could adjust to the sudden change of light she would go back to the darkness.
Then something different happened. Instead of retreating back to the darkness $he just stood there. Slowly getting all that light in and letting the camere adjust.
It was me.
This video was the video of something filming me as I was playing the game.
The camera wasn’t adjusting to light because the only light source in the entire house was radiating out of my computer. I watched as the video made quick cuts to the moment of my sleep. Then the whole thing got even creepier. Now the creature was walking towards my room. One menacing step after the other. It seemed sluggish and slow. every step was followed by a moan, as if the creature was hurt.
It took the creature about 2 dozens of steps to reach my room. There I was, lying on my bed slowly waiting for my own demise without any notice. The creature crouched and came close to my face and ran it’s hand against my cheek.
It’s hand was pale and thin, each finger had a long dagger like finger nail attached to it. As the creature was running it’s hand against my face, It accidentally cut my cheek. As soon as it cut my cheek I moaned a little. As soon as it herd my moaning it backed up all the way to the living room with super human speed. Then it didn’t move an inch for what seemed like hours. The footage was being fast forwarded, as it was jerking itself back and forth. Then the footage stopped fast forwarding itself.
It was nothing different. I was in my bed constantly moving left and right, as this creature was filming me from all the way over the living room. Then it spoke “Finish the game.” It’s voice was somewhat of a high pitch and feminine. But the way the words were spoken were slow and in a maleficent manner.
Finally, It moved towards the TV and pulled the TV towards the direction, where I found it this morning. It put the camera down on the ground, where it was facing the TV.
The thing was nowhere to be seen for about a minute. Then It entered the frame.
It was getting into the TV !
As It was getting into the TV I got a good look at this monster. This thing was once a woman. Her body was painfully thin, and horrendously disfigured. She was wearing a dirty nightgown. The nightgown was torn in some places, parts of her chest and shoulder were revealed.
However the face of this horrendous creature was hidden behind a wooden mask. This mask was a twisted illustration of a Ram. At lest I guess so.
The first thing that I cought with my eyes were the horns. They were suppose to resemble a ram’s horns, but they were different. They were uneven, crooked and menacing. One horn was longer than the other. while the shorter one seemed sharper. These horns resembled the devil, rather than a ram.
Then it was the eyes. Right below the horns were a pair of lifeless dark sockets, that I could call eyes. These sockets seemed a little larger than normal eye sockets. But who gives a shit about normality at this point.
Let us continue.
They were the first clue to my grim discovery. There were nothing behind them. Of course nothing but darkness. In my short window I tryed to look at them as much as possible, but still, there was nothing but darkness. Two empty eye sockets that wanted to claim one thing that this green ram seemed to be lack. A soul...
And finally the smile. Originally this masked didn’t had a smile on. As the matter of fact it didn’t even seemed to have any lips carved on it. But there was a crack. And so much more. This crack started under the right eye and ended right under the left cheek.
Dear reader there is so much more about this creature that I want to tell you about. But let me tell you what happened next instead.
I heard a loud growl from it and the TV switched back to static.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. After seeing that creature there was no doubt. There was no ignoring it. This wasn’t an extension of my imagination. This thing was as real as the fear I was feeling.
I was just standing there. I knew that thing was coming for me. I knew that she was going to get me eventually. This apartment wasn’t a castle and I wasn’t a knight. I was just a sitting duck, waiting to be stalked upon.
I rushed myself to the toilet, with the fading hope of not finding a scar. Yet the only thing I’ve done was confronting the reality, that I was trying so hard to deny.
Even in the dark setting of my toilet the scar was visible. Branding me from cheek to chin. It wasn’t a deep cut either, but again It wasn’t about the cut. It was about the thing that slashed me.
The thing that could’ve killed me. The thing that killed many before me. And the thing that was more than likely to kill again.
I touched my scar. And got out of the toilet.
I sat on the ground and zoned out for a good while.
The thing that brought me to my senses was an upbeat hip-hop music, that was coming from my room. My fucking phone was ringing.
I slowly walked to my room and grabbed my phone unwillingly. It was my boss. I answered the phone, and told him that I wasn’t feeling well. It didn’t sounded like he was convinced. But nonetheless he agreed.
I sat on my bed and started to think of my next move.
What was I suppose to do?
Flee from her?
Or be her own little slaughter stock.
As I was on my bed thinking, my computer turned on. What a fucking surprise.
The computer turned itself on and lunched the game. Once again I herd the cliche 8-bit music. But this time I knew that time the music was a harbinger of a one last game.
I pulled my chair and sat in front of the computer. I was greeted with the same interface. I choose the start option and waited.
Unlike the last time, the game loaded almost instantly.
There were 3 slots. The first 2 had the names and locations of my fallen avatars, like the last time. But there was difference that I spotted right away. Now the last slot had a name and an address attached to it. They were my very own!
“Riku Watanabe - Tokyo”
What was I even expecting?
There was no way out. This fucking monster could jump out of TVs and it could spy on me for hours. I choose the only available slot. And the game begun.
Upon entering the game I was greeted with the same black text screen.
“There’s a knock on the door.” Said the Green text.
And suddenly I heard a knock.
“I would lock my door.” Suddenly my door locked itself up.
“You can hear her nails grinding against the door.”
It was obvious that my demise was on a clock. It could break the door. But it didn’t. It just kept writing. And with every sentence I could feel her breath on my neck. I knew that I had to leave.
I grabbed my backpack and filled it with fist fulls of wrinkled garments. Next, I knew that I had to call someone to escort me out. I called my friend Katsu. And I told him to come to my house no questions asked. As I was doing these tasks, the green text kept advancing by itself.
At this point I could hear something violently punch the door. I grabbed my backpack and a notebook which was resting on my table. Then I rushed out to the toilet. I got in and locked the toilet door. And this is when I started writing my recollections. It’s been half an hour since I locked myself in. Now I can hear her. She sounds like an angel. But I know that I have to resist. Since there’s only a door between me and death.
It’s been 45 minutes now and my friend called me and told that he would be here in 5 minutes. But I’m afraid it might be to late. She is scratching the bathroom door now. I can hear her menacing nails, as much as I can hear her beastly unstable breath. 3 minutes. I can do this!
Now there’s only a minute left and she is nowhere to be herd. I can hear my friend Katsu. He sounds worried. He called out to me, but I didn’t answer. Maybe this is another one of the monster’s tricks. I don’t know what to think.
Finally Katsu started kicking the bathroom door. Thinking that I was stuck. After 4 kicks the wooden door gave away. Katsu opened a large enough hole to see through. And as soon as he saw my withered state, he reached in with his hand and opened the door from the inside. My savior was here.
He pulled me out of the toilet and violently shook me. As soon as I came to my senses I told him that we had to go. He asked me where I wanted to go and I told that I wanted to go as far away as possible. So he told me that he would take me to the airport. After 45 minutes we were in the airport. And after 10 more minutes I was in the ticket booth. Katsu told me his fair wells and took off.
The lady asked me where I wanted to go. I told her that I wanted to go abroad and I wanted to go the cheapest city. She told me about a place called Grimmville. Apparently It was Canadian town, with a new found fame. She told me that the town was a popular touristic destination and my ticket would be a part of a bundle that was endorsed by their town. It was a ticket to Grimmsville and a weeks stay in one of the town’s taverns, The Blind Cat.
I asked the lady about the price of the bundle. and she told me that it was only 63$. And told me that most of the people felt uncomfortable paying with Canadian dollars and that why most of the people backed out. I wan’t in a position to back out.
I went to the airports exchange shop and exchanged all my money to Canadian Dollar. At the end of the exchange I only had a 100$. A laughable amount of money to travel with. But nonetheless It was more than enough for my ticket. I went over to the booth and gave her 63$. She paused and said that she forgot to mansion the tax. She apologetically asked for 3 more Dollars. I gave the amount she demanded and went to board my plane.
Now I’m in the plane writing the rest of my story. I’m gonna share this as soon as I can. So people can avoid my mistakes and know more about the Green Ram.
Now as I’m checking my writings I noticed something. The second victim was from Grimmsville. I guess she got me good.
Now the only thing I can do is to see if I can find people who can help me with this beast.
Come to think of it they didn’t ask for my passport either.
Well played Green Ram. wEel pLAyeD.
submitted by FatalBellman to nosleep [link] [comments]
2014.12.22 21:59 funk100 Boys bathroom spy cam
What?!?! Where did a camera come in here??? That's not a reasonable analogy!Filming someone, esp in a bathroom without their consent is fucked up and I don't think anyone here is arguing that it would be ok (btw, I am a woman, and in college had this happen to me - a "friend" of mine, I'll call him Dick, had a hot tub at his house and I later found out that he had hidden a camera in his bathroom where all the girls would change - and it's esp bad bc you have to get completely naked when you put on a bathing suit. I only found out bc a good friend of mine, I'll call him Jay, told me that he was at Dick's house and Dick and his bros were sitting around talking about my best friend, "Nina", and making fun of her body after they had all just finished their "movie night" which apparently consisted of a greatest hits reel from the bathroom cam...how fucked up is that?!?!).
ANYWAY, this situation is MUCH different. Yeah, he could see into her bathroom which is a private space. But anyone with half a brain knows how windows work. I've been in bathrooms in unfamiliar homes and I always look at the windows to make sure I'm not giving anyone a show. Many bathroom windows are opaque or frosted or whatever so no one can see inside. ESPECIALLY at night though, again, any person with a working knowledge of WINDOWS knows that you can see through them and at night, when the light is on, it's hard to see outside into the dark when you're in a well lot room, but everyone can see in. I ALWAYS check. Always. And usually the windows are high enough that no one could ever see below my torso, so I don't mind at all. If a neighbor can see my showers while I'm peeing, I really don't care. I don't get fully undressed just to pee so as long as they can't see my fun holes, I really don't care. But that's me.
Anyway, yeah maybe it's a little creepy to watch someone naked through a window. But he didn't get binoculars or record it with a camera. He simply looked out his own damn window. I think most people in that situation would do the same thing - particularly 18 y/o boys when they happen to have a hot neighbor. Who knows...maybe she also saw OP changing from her house? Maybe she KNEW what she was doing? Who stands topless for 5 min everyday in front of the same window and never thinks to check if anyone could see in? My guess is she didn't give a fuck who saw her bc she's hot and she knows it. And some people are into that. Fuck, I have been into that before. I'm not saying "she was asking for it" but I am saying it's POSSIBLE she didn't give a fuck who saw. I have gone topless in my bedroom with my blinds open plenty of times bc, not to sound conceited, but I know I have great breasts and it kinda turns me on to think I might be turning someone else on. Though, I always close my blinds if I take off my underwear and I def wouldn't want some weirdo camped outside my window watching me all the time - there's a very limited view into my bdrm bc of the way my house it set up. I don't want them seeing it all. And I don't do it often, but sometimes I do it for a little thrill. Sometimes I also have given my bf a blowjob with the blinds open. Our bedroom window faces a chain link fence with shrubbery but there are spaces btwn the bushes and behind that is our neighbor's backyard. So, someone could technically see in if they wanted. And I KNOW THIS AND I DO IT PURPOSEFULLY. I understand how windows and blinds work and if I don't want someone to see in for sure, I close the blinds. If I DGAF whether someone sees me (or even am turned on by the idea of someone possibly seeing me) I leave them open. From my POV, I think it's POSSIBLE that she could have thought he was hot and wanted him to see (though probably not likely...it's possible). Also given that she said yes to a date, it's not unreasonable to think she may have noticed him before, thought he was attractive, and wanted to give him a little show.
Obvs these scenarios are just possibilities. I'm not saying she wanted him to see her naked. But it's possible she did. In my mind, it's more likely that she at least didn't care if she was seen (by him specifically, or anyone really...maybe she just likes attention, maybe she's proud of her body and likes attention...so many possibilities!) than it is likely that she doesn't know how windows work.
Whatever the case, having been in several similar scenarios in my life, looking out through your own bdrm window is NOTHING LIKE installing a camera in someone else's house/bathroom to spy on them. And those two things shouldn't be compared in any way. When you make wild accusations like that, it only serves to minimize actual victims of non-consensual voyeurism. THAT is a sexual violation. OP was doing what most would do in that situation, and was simply enjoying the view from his room. I really don't even think that's creepy. I think it's pretty normal.
submitted by funk100 to copypasta [link] [comments]