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Hello Ladies is an American sitcom created by Stephen Merchant, Lee Eisenberg, and Gene Stupnitsky.It stars Merchant as an Englishman looking for love in modern Los Angeles. The series premiered on the American network HBO on September 29, 2013. On January 23, 2014, HBO canceled the series; however, the series was concluded with a feature-length special, which aired on November 22, 2014. The official website for Hello Ladies on HBO, featuring full episodes online, interviews, schedule information and episode guides. Hello Ladies: Season 1 52% Critics Consensus: Stephen Merchant is an intelligent performer, but Hello Ladies is largely a squirm-inducing comedy that lacks the empathy of his best work. Browse the full Hello Ladies cast and crew credits for actors by character names from the HBO original program. Hello Ladies Critics Consensus. Stephen Merchant is an intelligent performer, but Hello Ladies is largely a squirm-inducing comedy that lacks the empathy of his best work. 52% ... Directed by Stephen Merchant. With Stephen Merchant, Christine Woods, Nate Torrence, Kevin Weisman. Stuart has recently split up with his girlfriend. When his girlfriend comes to visit LA, Stuart pretends to have a relationship with his tenant to make his ex feel jealous. Anyway, "Hello Ladies" is a little gem of a series and this feature length swan song is my favorite of the bunch. Highly recommended. I think one should watch the episodes before watching this movie. It makes the characters' arcs and changes so much more satisfying. Hello ladies - SVG - PDF - DXF - hand drawn lettered cut file - graphic overlay howjoyfulfiles. From shop howjoyfulfiles. 5 out of 5 stars (1,179) 1,179 reviews $ 2.99. Favorite Add to Hello Ladies Onesie® Sizes up to 12 months - Baby Gerber Onesie® PipsyShop. From shop PipsyShop ... Hello Ladies - I found the first episode very depressing but liked it enough to keep watching to see where all this was going. Srewart is an English geek with coke bottle glasses, thin and tall. His mother must have told him every day he was God's gift to the world; and he believed it. Created by Lee Eisenberg, Stephen Merchant, Gene Stupnitsky. With Stephen Merchant, Christine Woods, Nate Torrence, Kevin Weisman. A gawky Englishman comes to Los Angeles to find the woman of his dreams.

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I created this subreddit because as a newly sexually active woman, I have found many MANY issues and struggles with myself. I wanted to get feedback from other women who experience the same things as me. I also wanted to make a place for ladys to share there problems, situations, experiences, downfalls, and achievements.
I have been masterbating since 4th or 5th grade. I would use a pillow, a pile of towels, blankets, something soft and I would grind on it. All my life I was embarrassed that I did this. Since I learned about sex, what goes on, and that orgasms happen during sex, I realized a pillow ain't gonna cut it when I'm with a partner. My fiance and I have been together for 3 years and have been sexually active for about 6 months. We have overcome alot and had many conversations.
I had to completely reteach myself to orgasm a different way. I have been on this orgasm journey for about 6 years now. I was able to teach myself how to squirt, my future hubby helped my clitoris feel pleasure instead of pain, and on the way, I learned a new appreciation for myself. It took me 2 weeks straight to learn how to orgasm with a vibrator on my clitoris. I am still learning, I do research on female anatomy (I'm a bio major, it's what I do 😍), and my man is helping me along the way.
I cant wait to help ladies, learn from y'all, and create a space where women can share something that has been casted in the shadows for too long. Women dont talk about sex and pleasure enough. It's not shameful. It is healthy. And it's time we speak up and support eachother 😍😍😍

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Bambii is one of my all time favorite subs, and I absolutely love so many things about her page and content. Here's a more detailed breakdown, and make sure you read to the end where I include information about working together for customs, and her interactions.
Page overall: 10/10
She has a great collection of material that you can spend time reviewing. Lots of different poses, clothing, and themes to her posts.
Quality of content: 10/10
Again, for me, I love all the different themes, poses, lighting, angles and ideas she has. It's mostly solo and softcore or masterbation themed. But she is married and occasionally posts content with her hubby, including oral and anal sex.
Quantity: 9/10
Upon subscribing, you'll see about 100 pics and 14 videos currently, no paywalls for any. A few longer ones here, the rest are between 15-45 seconds. But this is where being a subscriber pays off because she will send out videos in DMs, including a couple hardcore freebies for keeping your rebill on. Also sends out the occasional PPV in DMs, all pretty reasonable - usually $3-6 for 1-4 minute videos
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2020.06.30 13:30 DrkDrms Free masterbate chat

Part 1: The Couch Part 2: The Couch pt2
She rolls off the couch to stand up and almost falls over on her side, as her legs still lack strength. He jumps off the couch to catch her fall, but she manages to grab the couch and balance herself without his help. He comes up to her to give her a kiss, but she stops him, putting her hand on his chest and giving him a small push back. She rolls hers eyes and begins to walk to the bedrooms. He smiles, he knows she is being a brat, and she knows she is going to be punished for it. As she walks away she pushes her dress down to her ankle, walking over it, leaving it on the floor. He watches her soft and pale naked body calling for him as she slowly goes in, looking back at him one last time before disappearing into the bedroom.
His dick still dripping from her, he start to walk to the bedroom, just watching her strut away naked is enough to make him hard again. As he heads to the room, he stops by a small closet in the hallways on the way. He pulls out a leash from the closet, black leather neck collar with a silver chain, easily resembling a dog leash, but with a softer finish around the collar to minimize bruising. He strips his shirt and boxers off, dropping them by her dress, before wrapping the leash around his hand and walking into the room, shutting the door behind him…..
He's up by 7am, sleep is not his best friend. He goes on to make coffee and some toast with eggs for breakfast and spends most of his morning routine looking over the financial news, he loaths it, but his job requires him to keep up with these boring news. After eating, he takes a quick shower and finishes getting dressed for work. He leaves her a serving in the microwave along with her morning coffee cup and goes off to work. He works as a systems architect at a financial firm, he doesn't care much for it. It pays well and gives him enough freedom to pursue his interests, which is all he ever really wants from a job. he stands 6 feet even, bronze skin with a short hair and a trimmed beard and mustache. He wears a black fitted suit with a light blue undershirt and red tie. He gets to work around 830, and spend most of the morning in meetings, day dreaming of the night before. Remembering the touch of her skin, her moans, and her screams, dreaming what they can do next.
As noon approaches, Nancy from HR comes by telling him his new developer just finished orientation and was ready to meet with him to get set up for work. As Nancy concludes, she walks in, half distracted as she is talking to another employees, she turns to say hello to him and almost freezes and says nothing, her eyes had widen and he can tell she's blushing. He watches her standing about 5'7 tall, petite, with what he would judge to be a b-cup and a beautiful set of round eyes and matching lips. After giving her about a good 10 seconds of awkward silence he stretches out his hand, "I'm Adam, and you are?", She snaps back, now blushing of embarrassment, and replies "Claire!", Returning the hand shake. After Nancy's departure, He shows her to her desk and introduces her. It becomes apparent that she knows one of the senior developers, Meg, which made sense since it was her that recommended Claire for the job.
Lunch hit, and she walks in, Eve, standing 5'9 without the heels that she has on, with an Amazonian build. She wears skin tight jeans and a loose fitted blouse that hangs over her shoulder, slightly giving a peak at the fact that she has no bra on her c-cup chest, which is usually overshadowed by her thick thighs. She marches straight to his office, giving the usual hellos on the way. The men stare as usual, but none would dare say a word. As she enters the room a smile hits his face, seeing her makes his brain go into overdrive and usual dirty thoughts start to flood in. She walks in with lunch for two and closes the door behind her. He chose a window less office to have more privacy, specially when she came over.
They spend about 20 minutes eating, chatting about their morning and exchanging ideas of maybe things to try next. After they finish, she stares at him deeply, biting her bottom lip lightly. He can tell the conversation got her heated. She removes her heels and walks around his desk, she leans in to kiss him and starts to undo his pants. She pulls out his dick, already hard and kneels in front of him, positioning herself in between his knees as she takes his dick to her mouth. She start to lick and suck his dick while keeping her hand at the base of his shaft to prevent his pants from getting wet from her drool. She moves her hands to her pants, undoing them and stops sucking for a second, licking her lips and lowering her pants. She lowers her jeans to her knees showing she has no panties on then goes back to sucking, using her free hand now to feel on her pussy. She spreads her knees out more, intensifying her masterbation, keeping his dick in her mouth to muffle the moans. He tries to grab on to her hair but she slaps off his hand, pointing to him keeping them on the arm rest of the chair. That's two days in a row she acts like a brat, he figures she is liking the punishment a little too much now. He puts his hands back on the armrest and continues to let her do as she pleases. She goes back to sucking him off and begins to push her two middle fingers into her pussy. She keeps them in her, rubbing her tunnel, while pushing in as deep as she could from this position. Then she feels his dick begin to throbb and the pre-cum taste follows, her hand is already soaked, so she figured it was time. She stops playing with herself and begins to suck him harder, rubbing his dick with the soaked hand at the same time. He closes his eyes as he becomes light headed, grabbing the armsrest tightly as his dick explodes in her mouth. She pushes her mouth in to prevent any mess as he cums deep in her throat. As he recovers, she stands up and fixes herself, pulling out a stick of gum. She gives him a wink as she puts the gum in her mouth, and walks out.. As she is leaving the office, she makes eye contact with Claire, who looks away as if she was intimidated. This made Eve stop in her tracks and walk back into his office. She tells him, "I like your new developer", followed by a smirk that only he knew what it meant. She walks away leaving him to his day.
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2020.05.09 02:35 SimpLordSam Masterbate chat free

If I'm being straight up, I'm disappointed in myself. I only made it to day 4 and ended up relapsing. It started off with masterbating to my girlfriend over video chat in the shower (yes I know engaging in that was stupid). But following that is what made matters worse.
What I've begun to realise after relapsing on multiple occasions is your mind will do anything to give you reasons to go back to porn. It will feed on any shame, guilt or sense of failure you may feel in order to get you to go back. In this instance, engaging in a sexual activity with my partner over the phone was forgivable. But my mind convinced me that what I did was unforgivable.
"You already failed to do the challenge?" "You couldn't even go longer than 4 days, that's pathetic" "Well you've already ejaculated why not go back for more?" "You could go back to porn and start the challenge again later."
And I let myself feed into these thoughts, I let myself feel the shame that my addiction wanted me to feel, and so I ended up relapsing on porn again.
So to everyone out there reading this, pick yourself up when you relapse! Don't let yourself wallow in negative thoughts, forgive yourself. If you can't stop yourself from your first relapse, put all your energy into stopping the second, don't admit defeat. I'm on day 1 again and I might go to day 1 again sometime in the near future, but it's a never ending battle and I know that in the end I will be a free man.
So stay strong! 💪😤
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2020.03.03 16:56 xEdition What is the most ridiculous thing you have been chat restricted for?

I have been playing league for about 10 years since mid-season 1. In that time I have only ever been chat restricted once for about a week IIRC. This was around reason 2 when I was much more toxic than I am today.
Well, today I was chat restricted for 10 games (not a harsh punishment mind you), but I still feel its a bit uncalled for considering some of the things that I have seen others get away with in this game on a daily basis.
That leads me to my question. I'm pretty interested, for entertainment sakes, what do you all feel was the "funniest" or most surprising thing you got banned or chat restricted for? I consider myself a pretty chill guy but obviously sometimes league does make me lose my cool. I'm not immune to it.
Chat logs for the laughs.

Game 1
Nova Kayn: cass push your lane please
Nova Kayn: this talon gets to roam for free since he doesnt miss anyting
Nova Kayn: talon has no hop
Nova Kayn: brooooo
Nova Kayn: are you serious
Nova Kayn: spam eeeeeee
Nova Kayn: reeeee
Nova Kayn: jg diff
Nova Kayn: oh yea your 0/7 is really good bate
Nova Kayn: masterbate
Nova Kayn: some owould say
Nova Kayn: yo do you guys know what elder does?
Nova Kayn: if your going to make dumb pklayus comit
Nova Kayn: def i bd
Nova Kayn: go next
Nova Kayn: 3 item mid
Nova Kayn: no suport
Nova Kayn: no wards
Nova Kayn: i want out
Nova Kayn: wtf are you all doing
Nova Kayn: holy shiot
Nova Kayn: stop dancing mid
Nova Kayn: ok cool
Nova Kayn: and you are a shit player
Nova Kayn: so its ok
Nova Kayn: you are trash
Nova Kayn: we would have won early
Nova Kayn: if you would listen to calls
Nova Kayn: when i said to take elder you go mid for what?
Nova Kayn: dude im muting you
Nova Kayn: you cant argue with stupid
Nova Kayn: dude end the fucking game
Nova Kayn: what the fuck is this 50 min long prison
Nova Kayn: ggez
Unfortunately, it doesn't show the things other people were saying but mind you it was far worse than what I replied with. I ended up having to BD to finish the game because neither team was making a move to end.
Give me all your sweet toxicity so I may have a laugh. I shall serve my sentence with love and peace.
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2020.02.09 23:44 throwawaygarbage7447 Free masterbate chat

My partner (we'll say his name is E) and I are both 18, and have been together for a little over 3 years now. I've recently started having some doubts about how our relationship is going at this current stage, and need to see if I'm really just overthinking everything. I already have a list of things that I have thought about in this relationship, and really need advice. If anyone thinks anything I've described in these paragraphs could be partly or entirely my fault, I need you to say so as otherwise I won't know what to do.
E seems to think that my privacy isn't valid and his is. On multiple occasions he's been on my computer with my permission but then without knowing I get a message from someone he doesn't know, he scrolls through the chat instead of ignoring it and respecting my privacy. He only tells me that these things occur after he reads through them. He once said "if it pops up on the screen it isn't private anymore". I stated that I wouldn't do that to him but he said that I shouldn't because that's mostly about stuff he doesn't talk about around me (legal wise), but that's not the point. Issue has been resolved and he has apologised, but it's still something he shouldn't have done in the first place and I think he'll probably do it again if he has the chance.
Offers on rare occasions to grab something for me without me asking (almost never, usually have to ask and he almost always rejects it anyway). I always grab things for him whenever he asks even though I might complain a little or am tired, and even if he's closeheading in that direction anyway or when I'm busy with something else which fustrates me. He claims his back hurts if he gets up to do these things, and that's understandable, but it's pretty much consistent.
We keep making plans to save up money to buy things for the future, but almost always spend it all on weed, snacks, games or other things that he wants. I very rarely get to spend the money I earn on myself because I usually hold onto my money untill I see something I want, but this never works as we always spend the money within a week or two of me getting it. Sometimes within a few days.
If E asks a favour of me I usually want to know why so I understand why he needs me to do it, but most of the time he doesn't say why and it makes me fustrated so I say something on why I think it's not necessary, but things get heated and we get into arguments because he doesn't tell me the reason after we both get annoyed and then tries to put the blame on me.
Example: He had a shower and asked me to grab a towel for him. I saw a towel hanging behind him, not knowing that it was an already used towel so I asked why and I tried to explain to him multiple times that there were towels right behind him. He kept asking me to get him the towel without telling me they were used, so I get fustrated because he won't use the towels behind him as I again, did not know they were used. Then after a while he then tells me they were used. He then tried to put the blame on me for refusing to get him a new towel and causing this conflict, where as if he told me they were used in the first place I would have gotten a new towel straight away. All he needed to say was "these towels are dirty, please get me a new one".
E doesn't eat much in his home as his family is poor and can only provide a minimum ammount for them all. He comes over every Friday-Sun and eats quite a lot of the food we have. My family isn't as poor as his but we're very tight on paying for the bills and such so we can't buy snacks that often, but occasionally with a comfortable ammount. He keeps forgetting this and most of the time he eats more of the food than we do which sometimes means that one or two people miss out on the food when there was enough for everyone. Usually when he's over for dinner and there is a little bit left over, mum likes to have it the day after for breakfast or lunch or dad takes it to work with him the next day for lunch. E usually takes it all unless he's told not to, but most of the time he does no one knows untill they find out it's gone, tell him off and then he gets upset over it. Mum and dad have explained to me on multiple occasions that they don't like this, and I've told him about this once but he backfired and tried to cover himself up by saying he hasn't eaten all that much that week. He has insecurity issues about his weight and on many occasions has said he wants and will try to start losing weight, but it doesn't have much of an affect and he keeps going back to his eating habits whenever he's at my house. I'm unsure of how much he actually eats in his own house, but I know it's not very much. I let this slide most of the time because I understand that his eating habits aren't home are very little - non existent, and it makes me feel like I can't tell him off for not starving.
I forget about a lot of tasks I was given or things I was told and tend to ask multiple times what was said or asked of me. This has been happening ever since I was a child and I doubt will go away any time soon. This usually makes E fustrated to the point I feel guilty and upset at myself for forgetting these things, even though I can't help it
I have issues with socialising, reading expressions, knowing what to do in situations and overall showing affection when I feel uncomfortable/awkward. This makes it very difficult for me to express what I feel like, what I want and what my opinions are when asked which makes E fustrated, no matter how many times he asks. Being Autistic himself I would think that he would understand and be patient with my needs as I do with his.
Every time E is over, my room falls out of my routine and gets really messy with objects everywhere, clothes/blankets on the floor and dirty cups/bowls/plates on the shelves. He knows this makes me annoyed and usually when I try to fix or organise it he stops me and says to do it later, of which never happens because we gets too distracted and I have to clean my room up either late at night or the next day when he's gone, which I usually have no energy left to do so and I would like to not do this in my free time and I don't get much of that anymore. This also contributes to objects that he collects at markets and such and keeps them in my room untill they're either broken, of no use or are eventually unwanted.
E repeatedly makes jokes about how dumb/stupid I am at normal tasks and other such things, no matter how many times I ask him to stop. He once promised he would stop, but then denies he ever said that and replaced it with "I'll try not to do it as often" or something along those words. He also said that I shouldn't take it so seriously because he says it to everyone and that asking him to stop would be like asking him to stop saying a normal word that he uses frequently. It makes me sad. Many times he's proven that he thinks he has said something and then gets mad at me when I say that he hasn't because he "100% did say it". Sometimes I actually don't hear him say these things so in those moments it's understandable that he gets fustrated, but I always apologize. He also says that he will do things and if he doesn't do it straight away he pretty much forgets he said he would, and then you guessed it, gets mad at me for saying that he said something of which he doesn't remember. He also has false memories of conversations we have and things that we've done together, like he once expressed a memory that he thought we had both shared, but it was actually him and his ex-girlfriend. Due to this he thinks that most of the time he is the one who's correct and defends himself to his last breath untill he's proven wrong, of which he gets angry about aswell and sometimes doesn't even apologize. In the meantime he always makes me out to be the bad person because I'm the one who's at fault and it makes me regret even talking to him sometimes.
Continuously expresses his attractions to other women including my own sister and other people we both know, of which I have explained that I don't like and have requested him to stop on multiple occasions, of which he fails to go through with.
Continues to cough right in my face instead of turning his head away or into his elbow, no matter how many times I ask. It always brings up a lot of Flem and gets into my eyes. Also has this problem with sneezing, except it doesn't get in my eyes, just everywhere else.
E always forces me to stay up late with him, usually up to 12-3 in the morning. This makes my sleeping routine ruined and it takes me a few days to re-ajust, but it's not enough time as usually when I get adjusted back into my normal sleeping habits, E comes over and I have to go through it all over again. I believe this is causing my mental wellbeing to slowly deteriorate as I've been getting more stressed out lately at little things that are annoying me, and usually whenever I try to say no he argues with me and makes me feel bad by saying that his mental wellbeing gets worse during the night. Whenever we're watching a movie at night time I'll start to get tired because of my out-of-whack sleeping habbit, and most of the time if my eyes flicker while we're watching he'll do something to wake me up, usually hitting me with the remote or whatever he's holding, otherwise he just hits me normally or shakes me awake to the point I get mad at him. He does this repeatedly.
Ezra has been pleading for sex more than he used to and I haven't been feeling up to it lately. Whenever I say no, he always persists to atleast "try" and that I will most likely get into it once we start. I usually give up and do it, but I pretend I like it so that he is satisfied. He also likes to play with my body (normal foreplay stuff) and whenever I say that I'm uncomfortable with him touching me in that moment, he ignores it. I don't like it when this happens, as I feel like I don't have a say on when I would like to have sex with him. Most of the time we have sex anyway because that way he'll stop complaining. Whenever we do have sex when I'm up to it, I never get to finish and usually roll off once he does and clean myself up. I don't even masterbate as much anymore because it sometimes makes me think about what happens and it causes me to be upset. He keeps saying that it's unfair when I tell him no, because I'm always "hot and cold" (enjoying it one moment and not liking it the other) Where it's actually I'm pretending to be fine with it but if it gets too much I'll tell him to stop or swipe his hand away, and he'll complain again. In all honesty, this seems like a form of sexual assault but I'm unsure and can't do anything about it. This has caused me to slowly lose my physical attraction to him. E likes me to talk dirty while we have sex, but a lot of the time I can't and just stutter because that's now who I am. Again, this causes him to be fustrated with me.
I'm scared to bring any of these issues up again with E as most of the time he gets annoyed and angry or whatever and it makes me feel unsafe to express the things I think he or we need to change. I'd like some advice on what people think of these parts of my relationship and what I should do about changing it. We have a safe word for when we feel to fustrated with eacher that we can use to let eachother know, we then hug it out and move on. I like the hugging part and feeling life we've made up, but I feel like we're ignoring the problems and not trying to resolve them, which may cause problems for the future.
E wasn't like this at the start of the relationship, and to be honest he still has quite a lot of moments where he is sweet, kind, supportive and encouraging. We have fun together with things like tv shows, games and just overall hanging out together. But I feel like these actions I've mentioned are starting to overweigh the good.
Things is, I don't know whether to hold on a little longer to see if the man I fell in love with will come back. It's hard for me to leave right now as I've gotten tickets to see a concert with him in April.
TLDR: I have been having doubts about certain parts in my relationship, and don't know what to do.
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2019.09.28 23:46 DirtyHentaiQueen Free chat masterbate

Well, what better place to start posting my stories than from where it all began! I’ve always been a very sexual person, ever since I discovered sexuality and discovered myself. I was (and still am) horny all the time as a teen. It didn’t take much to turn me on. I’d have sleepovers with my friends and we did stuff, fool around ish, like hang around topless, fell each others boobs, “practice kissing” and things like that. Eventually, in high school (sophomore year, 15-16) I ended up hanging with a crowd a grade above me, and it was great! They treated me like an older kid, letting me smoke (weed and cigs) and drink with them, and the attention from the older boys always made me feel special and wanted hehe.
OK! So sophomore year is over, and I finally feel like I’m become one of the older kids. I’m 16 at the time, going into junior year, I’m hangin out with the older crowd, seeing a girl named Stacy as a sort of mentor figure. She was so cool, she had pink hair and a tattoo no one knew about. I wanted to be like her. We became close and I was spending practically every day at her house that summer, I probably only went home a few times a week for cloths. So we’re hangin our in the living room playing video games (borderlands 2) and her parents tell her that they’re going on their summer trip. They leave for about a week or so, on a Friday, and come back on the Sunday of the following week. I don’t even remember where. But her dad tells her that we can stay at the house as long as we check in with my mom every now and then. Ok easy enough. My parents were oblivious to any of my things that weren’t academic (it payed to be a good student). So we see them off on the Friday morning early and then it’s just us two girls in a big empty house. Stacy grabbed me by the arms, looked me right in the eyes and says “we are going to get so fucked up this week! You best get sexy cuz we’re popping your cherry!” I had no idea how to react so was just like “yay!”
She then began to make calls and send messages. Some people I knew and other names I didn’t recognize. I began to flip through the rolodex in my mind of the guys in our group, wondering who I’d be willing to finally give it up to. Besides a few hand jobs, some boob fondling and making out with mostly only other girls, I had not been experienced with anything else, I was green. So as the night grew closer we began to get ready. Stacy ran a bath and we both got in (we were no strangers to each others naked bodies, but nothing had gone in between us at this point in time yet except some kissing and the was “educational” as I had come to convince myself). We soaked In the soapy water and talked about all the possibilities of how things might go. We laughed and talked as we burned down a joint between us. I finally asked her what to expect. How would I know if it were gonna go down. “It’s a feeling” she told me “you’ll know it when you feel it, you’ll look at him and you’ll know. Just make sure you’re comfortable. Don’t let him do anything you don’t want and don’t be afraid to say no. And if that don’t like it just call for me and Mike (her on and off boy toy) and we’ll square his ass away”. That made me feel better. Of course now I know exactly how you know if it’s going down. That feeling in the air, the beating of the heart, even watering of the mouth. Boy the human body is strange. We got all shaved up after our bath and then got dressed. I wanted to go for my “signature” punk feel so it was my short plaid black and red skirt, knee high striped socks, my black docs, and a black Invader Zim tank top (of course with the push up bra lol) . Then the the people began to show up.
I was so nervous. I had no idea how this was all gonna play out. I began to recognize people, saying hi, offering drink and bong hits. I stayed with the same glass of old fashion basically all night, taking hits from joints that were being passed around. Guy after guy chatted me up, and I fumbled through flirting but none ever stuck around. After a wile I thought it was not gonna be my night, until I met Troy. He was tall, fairly thin with shaggy hair. He had a basic Flannel over Led Zeppelin T-shirt and jeans thing going on. He was cute, and I was horny. We got to talking at it was nice. He was charming, funny, trying a bit too hard but at this point I was willing. We went outside and burn down some weed, and continued an intense flirtation. He kept acting like he wanted to kiss me but kept chickening out. It drove me crazy all night. But we stayed together all night.
We were in the kitchen, I was sat up in the counter and he stood close by and we continued to talk. As people began to leave he asked if I needed a ride home and I told him I lived there. He chuckled and said he wanted to stay longer and that he thought I was pretty. I didn’t want to wait any longer so I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in for a kiss. He kissed me back, first lightly then more intensely. He pressed up closer to me and i could feel his boner against my leg. After a little bit I pushed him back gently. I took a breath and said, “I was waiting for you to do that all night”. We both chuckled and he told me he wanted to but couldn’t work up the nerve. So I pull him back in and said “your gonna need it now”. We kissed more, he began to rub his hand on my bare leg, slowly he worked his way up my skirt, I slowly began to run my hand down his chest to his waist line. I felt his fingers finally reach my pussy, running over it up and down, I shivered and then pulled back. I was caught, I didn’t expect that feeling. I jumped up off the counter and pulled him close. I told him I was gonna go to the bathroom by id be back and kissed him before heading off.
I shuffled off to the bathroom and had mini excitement attack and calmed myself down, I was soaking my panties with excitement, I composed myself and walked to the door and opened it to find Troy standing there. We look at each other for a moment. Then something came over me and I pulled him into the bathroom, I slammed the door shut and locked it, we began to make out intensely, i jumped on him. He lifted my skirt and grabbed my ass, pulling at my panties to come off. I reached down and grabbed at his Cock through his jeans, slightly startled at how hard he was. We continued, he pulled up my shirt and ripped my bra off, he began to lick one of my nipples and biting my boobs, marking them up. I hung my head back and moaned. He then pushed me up agains the wall and he kissed me more and pressed his boner against my stomach wile his hand played with my boobs. He lifted me up a bit and held me up between his body and the wall, he lifted up my leg and pressed his boner hard against my pussy, then he began to grind. I moaned as my breathe quickened with every hard push against me. He moved his hand down to my panties and began to play with my pussy over them, running his fingers all over them making me even more wet and I moaned and kissed him deeply. He then pulled my panties to the side and placed his fingers on my bare pussy and I shivers with excitement. I felt every movement of his fingers running through my justices. He then brought his hand up and he licked his fingers, slimed as he told me I tasted good. Then he pushed me into the toilet and stood in front of me. He gestured with his head down to his crotch. I looked at him then I looked straight ahead. I could see the pulsing outline if his thick hard meaty cock. I didn’t know what to expect so I got to undoing his pants. First the belt, then the button, down went the zipper and i pulled them down. We was wearing briefs. I could see the outline of his cock better, then my mouth began to water. I waisted no time and pulled them down. His rock hard cock flopped out fully erect right in my face and It was very nice. Not massive in size but it was great. Probably 5-6 inches, uncut, pretty thick and straight as an arrow. I sat staring for a moment then slowly took it in my hand and began to jack him off right in front of my face. He let out small moans and told me I was a good girl. I told him I was not very experience and he said “you’ll learn, I’ll teach you. Not get a good taste”. I pulled his foreskin back to reveal his thick precum covered heat. I had seen a lot of porn by now so I knew that to do... sort of. I had practiced with dildo but nothing prepares you for the real thing... or the taste. I wrapped my lips around his head and ran my tung over his head, he’s moaned a bit louder now and kept saying I was a good girl, I slowly began to take him into my mouth little by little, every bob of my head a little more. I could feel him twitching in my mouth. I then places my hand on the lower part of his shaft as I’d seen on many a porn and jacked him off wile I sucked him off. After a little bit he placed his hand on the back of my head and motioned me to let go of his cock, and I did. He then tried to face fuck me, he began to slowly push himself into my mouth more and more, at the time I couldn’t take to much but in retrospect I think I almost took him all. He got a bit more verbal saying I was a dirty little girl, that I was a good little cocksucker and things like that, now with my hands free I played with myself, fingered myself and rubbed my little pink clit. He tried to face fuck me hard but I couldn’t do it. Then he pulled me up off the toilet by my hair and lifted me up into the counter top. He spread my legs, dropped to his knees and began to eat my soaking pussy. He wasn’t half bad either. I moaned and wrapped my leg around his head, I didn’t wanna let him go. It was incredible feeling his tung roaming around my pussy, feeling him suck on my clit. As I got close to cumming I told him and he stopped. He stood up and aimed his cock right at my pussy, he then pulled me to the edge of the counter. I told him I was a virgin and he smiled and said “good”. I then asked if he had a condom, then without warning I felt his head spread my pussy lips, then he pushed into me, slowly plunging into me. I we both moaned in unison. Mine was short and loud full of surprise pleasure and a bit of pain. His was prolonged, as he pushed into me until he had his complete length inside me and i felt his massive pulsing balls rest in my ass. It hurt a little at first, I had played with myself using toys many times but not like this. I was unbelievably wet. He began to fuck me properly. Back and forth, in and out, slow at first, we moaned together as he did, then he picked up speed, little by little. I could feel him spread me, how my walls wrapped around his form. He kissed me and pinched my nipples as he began to fuck me harder and harder. Before I knew it he was going to town on me, smashing my tight little pussy back and forth, after a bit he asked me where I wanted him to cum and all I did was tell out “Not inside me please!” And he listened. He pulled out and finished on me. Covered my skirt, my stomach, a little bit on my boobs. He stood there panting and sweaty, me the same on the counter. I keep looking at his cock then back at his face. Then he said “that was amazing” I just whispered back “oh yeah”. He then asked me if I came and I said “almost”. So we comes over to me and begins to kiss me and finger me very intensely, after not even a minute I came all over his fingers. He stepped back and smiled. He licked his fingers and said “you are perfect baby, I’ll meet you in the kitchen and I’ll fix us up a drink.” Then he kissed me again, put in his pants and walked out.
I sat on the counter a wile, covered in the cum. I didn’t know If i wanted to laugh or cry or vomit. So I did all 3! Haha it was a night I’ll never forget. Every now and then I think about that night when I masterbate. Me and Troy continued out “fling” for that summer. We had many many more experiences (I’m sure I’ll revisit those here) and he really did teach me a lot. But that how it all went down. It’s quite a read but I hope it was with it. I’ll be sharing a lot more on here and other story subs. But this one can’t go just anywhere due to the age and stuff but it was all consensual and the same general age range.
submitted by DirtyHentaiQueen to sexstories [link] [comments]

2019.01.24 14:18 Winter_Cup Free masterbate chat

I have struggled with porn for a while. Probably started sometime around 12 years old. I have dealt with it in my own ways, but usually resulting in failure. To be honest.... when I stumbled upon this group on reddit I was actually looking for porn. I have been doing it for so long that I had forgotten why I would want to quit. It's kind of like the idea of sitting in a dark room long enough to forget what the light looks like.

I think the biggest reason for wanting to quit is because of PIED. I've struggled with that for a while. The last two girls I was with I couldn't even get it up. They were super understanding, I blamed it on being nervous and they accepted it, but I knew what it really was.... I never heard from them again.

Anyway, I stumbled upon this post and heard other guys talking about it. I kept seeing reference to the 90 days, and how even in as early as 18 days guys were starting to react to simple things again like eye contact and physical touch. For some reason that hit me like a sack of bricks. I haven't biologically reacted to a girl in a long time. It's to the point where I sometimes have trouble getting it up with porn. I have to hunt for "that" video that works for longer and longer.

I recognize that the issue is getting worst, but again, I have struggled with it for so long that I no longer saw it as a problem. Seeing this subreddit this weekend inspired me to try again. I can honestly say the thought of just reacting to a girl for simple reasons is what is motivating me. I want to feel that excitement and tension, and not in a perverted way but in a "pure" way, if that makes sense. I have been numb to women for so long I never thought it was related to porn, I honestly thought it was because my ex did a number on me. But if I connect the dots I can see that my porn habit escalated when I was single, but when I was with her I rarely did it.

There was also another interesting thought I had. I've been told by several women that they thought I am gay. I'm not, and I'm not an effeminate either. I never really knew why these women felt this way, I assumed it was because I was friendly, easy to chat with, and that I didn't hit on them, but now I'm wondering if it is because of a lack of biological responses. Maybe I am not reacting to women because my brain is programmed to relate porn with sex, thus women were not doing it for me. This lack of "biological feedback" might be similar to the response of a gay man.

Please note I am not trying to insult gay people, I have no ill will towards them, and if my statement is offensive I apologize. I have had a lot of thoughts in my head this last week and it's all leading me towards this single motivating force of will that says: I will quit. And this time it will stay dead.

I've been porn free for 5 days. For someone who is/was a daily user I'm sure you guys understand the significance of that. The strange thing is that I have not felt the urge to do it. Even when I think about porn, or even masterbating, I have zero urge to act on it. I can't promise that will be the case next week... but this new clarity really confuses me since I traditionally have no willpower to resist it. But this isn't even a matter of will, I just think about it and I don't care. It doesn't effect me. That is the first time in 15 years that I can say that.

Anyway, sorry for the long post, I have a lot of thoughts and no one to talk to about it. I am excited though, I think this might be the start of a life change. Feel free to share any thoughts, advice, or encouragement.
submitted by Winter_Cup to pornfree [link] [comments]

2018.09.18 04:32 Throwafappy Free masterbate chat

See why people are hesitant of Instagram. Spent a great day 70 fap free. Then started mucking about on Instagram, ended up chatting with a cam girl. Had to resist her trying to get me to watch her. When I told her I was on nofap she tricked me into giving her my tinder access for her tinder profile! Crazy shit! Reminded me what slimy creatures I was attracted to when I would obsess over them on the Internet. Seems I am still susceptible to putting myself in harms way even when I'm not actively seeking it out to masterbate. closest I've come to really peeking though. Stay strong brothers, the succubae want our souls! One of them ate my online profile!
submitted by Throwafappy to NoFap [link] [comments]

2018.09.15 20:11 baconsmock This guy (25M) texting my wife (34F) at 1am... how "in the wrong" am I here?

Tl;dr: wife and I have a complicated past, a "friend" of her's I know she's been talking to and felt comfortable with how it was explained to me messages her at 1am while she is asleep and I pretend to be her to get the guy to open up to me, and now I'm in the dog house and caused potentially long term damage.

So...some "brief" back story here, my wife an I have been together for 18 years, married for 6 of those. We met around 17/18 years old, fell in love, and within ~14 months we found out she's pregnant. We both come from broken/dysfunctional homes so there was an epic pile of bad habits, bad decisions, self-discovery, some highs, and some major lows we have somehow managed to push through to keep our family together and raise a, now, 15 year old son that we both couldn't be prouder of.

Some highlights to paint a better picture of the weights we both carry around: I have been addicted to some form of drug or pornography for probably 80% of the relationship, she has cheated on me during one period 10+ years ago which she blames on her childhood sexual abuse, and was in a short term sexual relationship with a man during a ~4 month period ~7 years ago while I was kicked out and living with a relative for having said some horrible things in the throws of an opioid addiction. I have admitted to having some kind of crush on her sister and masterbating to pictures of her sister and my wife's friends during several of the earlier years. We have been through counseling to get everything out on the table and learn how to talk with each other. We have gone through a period of 2 years of abstinence while she worked aggressively with a counselor on her own to manage her PTSD and 'sexual object' mindset from her childhood abuse. For the most part, the past ~5 years have been the most enjoyable and mature period in the relationship where there is nothing mischievous going on and we have learned to communicate and be honest with each other and focus primarily on providing our son with a stable and spoiled rest-of-his-childhood.

In all honesty, I see much writing on the wall that gives me doubt that we'll be "together forever". We both have such a different world-view, into different hobbies/interests, she wants a house and more kids and I want to start a business and live without such another long term commitment. Recently she has started going out more on her own with girlfriends and to meet new people whereas I'm more content staying at home, hanging out with my son, and working on computer projects. But my wife and I still seem to have a good amount of love left for each other and continue to cling on and press forward. My fear is more for the long term when my son moves out that our differences will pull us apart and eventually she'll bump into someone she clicks with and craves and it will make sense for us to part ways...

But anyways, the topic at hand, 5 years ago my wife attended a local college to pursue her ambition of being an elementary teacher. It wasn't working out financially at the time for her to be not-working and taking on all these debt and she decided to put the school on hold and go back to work, something which she blames on my always putting her down about not working and carries a lot of hostility about that she stills brings up to this day, despite my recollection of the story being quite different. At school she met this guy, Andy, who is 9 years younger than her, that she told me about right away. They had a class together, worked on some projects, got along, etc. Typical casual school acquaintance type deal. She assured me there was nothing to worry about, she didn't like him "like that", he was too young, etc. and I believed her and there was never any issues with him. She had him as a contact in her phone even and it didn't bother me.

Fast-forward ~4-5 years and she hasn't really kept up with him after she left school until one day I see that "Andy School" is a friend on her Snapchat list, which I find a little weird/am suspicious. Eventually I bring it up like "hey, noticed Andy on your list, you guys reconnecting after all this time?" and she tells me "ya idk, he messaged me out of the blue and comments on my posts sometimes". i say "ok. well as a man, and knowing how guys can be, i'll say i find that somewhat of a red flag but as long as you guys aren't trading inappropriate pictures and chatting all the time that you could be spending with me, i guess it is a non-issue so please just keep me updated if things change from what you've told me about him previously". she says "yes i will, nothing to worry about, just an old school friend we exchange comments pretty infrequently".

A few months later and my wife brings up while we're out to lunch "so remember Andy? he messaged me to say he'll be in town some day soon and asked if we could meet up for lunch and catch up. i told him i'd talk with you and see how you felt about it and would let him know. what do you think? you can come with and meet him if you really want/need to". and i say, basically, "you're an adult, i can't stop you from doing what you want to do, and if you think this is an appropriate thing to be doing then i'll trust you about it and go have your lunch with him but i'm getting a red flag about this guy and I'm not sure about his intentions". she says "it's really not like that, he knows i'm married and i have never hinted that anything could happen with him and i don't get the vibe that he'd want to do anything either".

So some weeks go by and this brings us to just a few days ago and I haven't heard any more of Andy. I ask my wife, "hey, whatever happened about that Andy lunch, did you decide not to go?" and she tells me "we arranged it and he has since cancelled on plans twice and just messages me randomly wanting to meet up but i always have plans and...i really don't know if i want to anymore and getting a bit of a weird vibe." i say "that is weird..."

And that brings us to last night. I'm up late watching tv while my wife is sleeping beside me and i hear her phone buzz at 1am. My wife and I have established an "open phone policy" long ago where we have each others passwords and are both free to ask at anytime to see each other's phones and look through whatever we'd like to relieve any insecurities/doubt that may be popping up from our past tramas (cheating, porn, sister, etc). I pick up her phone and it is a snapchat text message from Andy saying "want to talk?". instantly i'm triggered and my thoughts are racing "ok, wtf is going on here? somethings not adding up. has my wife been lying to me about this guy and they are chatting through the night like this?" so i take her phone into the other room, needing to get to the bottom of this, and message him back "Sure, what should we talk about" and his response "the sexual tension between us".

Ooooooook. This is fucked. I need to dig in here and get as much info as I need to know if it's just this guy I need to deal with or him and my wife. i continue to bait him along, pretending to be my wife doing the talking, by saying as little as possible to get him to keep spilling the beans. i proceed to talk with this guy for nearly an hour "as my wife" where he lays it all on the line about her being his fantasy, wants to fuck, wants to be with and take care of her, sends me several d*ck pics, saying that wanting to say all this has been eating him up and just needs to get it all out and thinks that by doing so she is just going to agree to jump into bed with him and cheat on her husband. I have linked the whole conversation below for anyone interested in specifics. i wasn't getting any hints that my wife had gone afoul here and i ended the conversation by saying what i thought she would in that scenario, or at least what i hope she would say, like "i'm married. not going to cheat. going to tell my husband about this. and it would be inappropriate for us to ever talk again now that you have been open about this". I then delete him as a contact, unfriend/block him from all the things, and go to sleep excited to talk with my wife in the morning about this bazaar occurrence.

So morning comes, I let my wife wake up and come to her senses and say "hey, i need to talk with you when you are ready" and when she is i ask "so...about Andy, is there anything i should know about the situation that is more than you've already told me?" and she says "not really... i have been having to tell him recently like 'why are you messaging me so much/right now' and yesterday he messaged saying he was drunk and needed to talk and i told him i didn't want to and am going to bed' and then left my phone in the other room and went and fell asleep, last i heard from him..."

so i tell her about his 1am text and how i proceed to encourage him to open up about what he started the conversation by saying he needed to get out. i show her the whole conversation (minus the pics) that i had taken photos of with my phone, since snapchat deletes all the messages right away, and she is instantly very upset with me. she explained for a number of reasons why she thought it was despicable of me because "she would never talk like that to him and she tries hard not to be that kind of person, it shows i don't trust her, it really must have hurt his feelings to open up and be shot down, that i impersonated her in a negative way, that i egged this drunk guy on to say things he wouldn't have ever said otherwise, that me doing that was devious and sneaky and was giving her PTSD of her stepdad during her childhood" and she was almost in tears explaining her disgust of me doing what i did.

i tried to let her know i understand now why she would feel that way but i hadn't considered it at the time and was too focused and impulsively acting to remove what i had come to know as an evil encroaching on my way of life. i explained and pointed out he started the whole thing by asking to let him get it all out and all i did was go along with it and not really mis-represent her to get him to act on his feelings for her. from my perspective based on what i know now, i explained that we have this kid that had become infatuated with my wife and has been building up the courage over the past 5 years to trick her into some meetup as "just friends" and then lay this high-pressure sales tactic on her about how much he wants to be with her and hope it's convincing enough for him to get his way. she explained that she would have dealt with that situation appropriately and i should have trusted her to and she never would have gone through with anything like that and that i crossed a line in how far i pushed the conversation with him. i believe that she believes she could have dealt with the situation but i'm also considering that she is, naively, assuming that kind of situation could transpire and she could just swat him down and walk away without him potentially chasing her, keeping the pressure on, and, who knows with some people (and what do we know about this guy), he could blow a gasket and force himself on her or all kinds of crazy stuff, especially if he managed to lure her out on a weekend bike ride to a place where no one is around. she said she "would have handled it" but clearly she was oblivious to the fact that her "friendly" comments and snap exchanges were leading this guy on up to the point it was causing him great distress about not coming out with his feelings towards her and her not seeing it was preventing her from "dealing with it" as aggressively as needed to really make him go away. she's just too nice to deal with a situation that requires some meanness, so i intervened and took the extra step to a end situation that posed substantial risk to my own well-being.

in my mind, what i did was warranted and i can't imagine another husband/boyfriend in my situation handling it much different. i now know the truth of the matter, potentially saved my wife from a dangerous situation of being stuck alone with some weirdo, and frankly, i don't feel bad about if his feelings were hurt. i am actually sorry though that i hurt my wife's feelings for the way she took it and i don't want to give her the impression that impersonating her online is a thing i think is ok to do now. it's not. and i hope to never find myself in a situation again where i feel like i need to in order to uncover some fishy-smelling stuff that is stinking up my game.

So that's the whole story. pretty long, i know, and if you read the whole thing i commend you. would love to hear any 3rd party perspectives on the situation and maybe how it could have been handled better. if no one see's or reads this, i at least feel some relief from getting to reflect on my past and gather my thoughts into this story, and for that, i am grateful for this sub being here to vent.


link to my conversation with Andy:
submitted by baconsmock to relationship_advice [link] [comments]