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2020.10.25 21:17 apspace Aunty desi voyeur

Hi!
Just wondering if there are any Desi women here. I am Indian myself, looking to get to know someone as a pandemic pal, with the hopes of it turning into something serious!
I've been using Dil Mil for a bit, but it's absolute garbage. Met a few people there, but they all somehow thought a long distance relationship could last with only one text a day. I'm not opposed to a LDR, but at the risk of sounding clingy, I'd hope you'd be willing to actually talk a decent amount, with the intent of meeting after the apocalypse is over. The closer the better, however and only in the US.
About me:

  • Ambitious and driven with a good career, but a bit of a workaholic (trying to be better though!)
  • Auntie approved
  • Love to cook! Let me make you your favorite curry! But I can't bake without ruining everything I touch, so bonus points if you can teach me.
  • Weightlifting and running help me stay healthy not only physically, but mentally. Big stress relievers for me.
  • I am a movie and TV obsessive. Tend to get really lost in a lot of things I watch. Especially the MCU, I can quote entire scenes from it.
  • Fun sized at 5'3" ish, but with a slim to fit build. You won't have to worry wearing heels
  • I tend to be shy at first, but really open up with people I feel comfortable with. If I share my career goals with you, you've succeeded.
  • Firmly believe that there is someone absolutely perfect for everyone out there
Of course there's a lot more to me, but I want to keep it brief so we have more to talk about!
About you:
  • 21+ years old
  • Indian. However, if you think we'd hit it off, feel free to hmu even if you're not!
  • In the US
  • Don't have kids
  • Looking for something serious and willing to meet if we like each other
  • Willing to talk more than just once a day
  • Hate dating apps
  • Not overweight
  • Are passionate about things you can talk for days about
I hope this post doesn't come across as scatter brained! But if you do like what you read, send me a pm! Your picture gets mine!
Have a wonderful spooky month everyone!
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2020.10.17 03:08 MarkdownShadowBot Desi aunty voyeur

Hi JoinTelegram, you're not shadowbanned, but 1 of your most recent 18 comments/submissions were removed (either automatically or by human moderators).
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2020.10.05 00:05 Mega_whale Rishta Log 5: Mystery of Mad-Rose!

Salam Guys,
Really sorry about such a long delay between my last post and this one. Been a busy life... I do hope and pray all of you and your families are healthy and safe during this awful pandemic.
For those of you who are new to my posts, Im a Desi Guy who lives in London UK and writes about his past Rishta encounters, please read, enjoy and learn from my experiences;
My last post: https://www.reddit.com/MuslimMarriage/comments/hl2qbd/rishta_log_part_4_29m/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
My last extra post : https://www.reddit.com/MuslimMarriage/comments/i6knx0/rishta_log_extra_story_1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Warning: THIS IS A MEGA LONG POST AND NO TLDR PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL LOL!
Rishta Number 6 – Mystery of Mad-Rose
This one began as mysteriously and manically as it ended… However, before we begin, I would like to dedicate this log to Mad-Rose, the mother of the girl in this story, obviously as you can tell her real name wasn’t Mad-Rose but it sounded very similar and you may see why I opted for this nickname as the story goes on. So, here goes….
One late winter evening my mother was awoken by an unknown number. She picked up she and was greeted by a woman, but not just any woman, it was a rishta aunty and one that seemed to know my mum, but my mum didn’t seem to know her! The mysterious rishta aunty spoke with fervour and brashness. She scolded my mum as to why she hadn’t contacted the rishta she had provided. My mum was quite confused as she didn’t know what this lady was talking about, however this mysterious rishta aunty wouldn’t accept any excuses! Eventually my mum had to drop the façade and explain that she didn’t know who she was talking to or know anything about this rishta. The mysterious matchmaker sighed and then replied using my mum’s name (this was getting freaky because we literally had no idea who this lady was and to be honest still don’t know who she was!) saying that my mum shouldn’t let herself become so forgetful and feeble minded and that she should take care of herself; she went on to explain that she had contacted the other party and gave them a similar earful for not contacting us either.
When my mum told me about this strange call, I was quite surprised (After all who was this mysterious lady? Our social circle isn’t that big that we would ever forget someone and to be frank it’s not like us). My mum was sure that she didn’t know this lady or anything about this rishta, but we thought we might as well pursue it as the lady was so forceful (plus she threatened to call us back the next day to check if we had…God help us! lol).
The next day both mums had a chat about this mysterious rishta aunty and how they both got an earful from her. The girl’s mother insisted that she didn’t know her either (One of the great mysteries of life….Who killed John F Kennedy? Was there ever life on Mars? Who was the mysterious rishta aunty who knew us but we didn’t know her?). The girl’s mother explained that her daughter was “special” to her as she was the only girl in the family, and that they were looking for a good match. The girl was apparently quite religious and mild mannered, but alas no picture was to be sent (by this time I had equated this to mean that the girl probably wasn’t gifted in the looks department, however I have learnt now that it can also be something that deeply cultural or religious people do in order to prevent their pictures from circulating in the general public… although I personally give everyone a chance even if I may not find them acutely attractive, however some people may have attractiveness at the top of their list therefore I do think sharing pictures beforehand is sensible). A date was set for a meeting and that was that……or so we thought.
As promised, the Rishta aunty called back and was delighted that we had arranged a meeting. It was all pleasantries and promises from then on; she told us that we would be a perfect match and it was all going to work out for the best. My mum was tactfully trying to ascertain her identity, but this lady was quick witted and cunning… it was almost artful how she dodged questions about who she was!
The day of the meeting arrived and as usual I went there in style with my entourage (lol! I had gotten used to my sister and brother-in-law accompanying me on these trips, to be honest I saw the benefit in having them there, mainly helping the conversation between the families to keep flowing). The girl’s family lived in a desirable part of east London by the river, my family always liked that area, it wasn’t the best or the richest area but it was expensive due to its closeness to the city centre and it had nice views of the Thames. We parked up and waited for the girl’s father to guide us to their home (because they wouldn’t give us their address and only told us the road where they lived… thinking back this was the first red flag!). The girl’s mother texted us to say that the father was waiting outside for us, but he wasn’t obvious and we stood around for a few minutes, then I noticed a middle aged man staring at us across the road, he must have been there quite some time just observing us (what was more odd is that he didn’t put a blind bit of effort into his appearance, now I’m not the snobbish sort who judges someone by their cover but I do believe in making good first impressions and as such my family and I always dress well for these occasions as it shows respect to the other side, so we were taken aback by this uncle who was staring at us in his unkept black shalwar kameez, brown puffer waistcoat and bathroom slippers.) Once I noticed him I went over to him and said my salaams, but he didn’t respond and instead just asked if I was Mega_Whale and if this was my family, to which I obviously confirmed and then he told us to follow him in a grim voice (erm….ok Lurch? Lol!). Once we got into the lift of their apartment building, my mother and brother-in-law made a big show of saying their salaams that he actually responded. When we got to their home we were seated in the living room and left to our own devices for about 15-20 minutes (great hospitality guys…not!).
After the ages of waiting, the girl’s parents finally came into the living room... the girl’s mum seemed normal (at the time) and was making light conversation, the dad not so much. We made introductions and talked pleasantries, it was then we complimented their apartment and said it must be nice to live in this area.
“What do you mean this area is nice?”, the dad retorted.
“It’s just a nice area, we’ve always like this area…”, I said.
“Yes, but what do you mean…be specific.”, the girl’s mum chimed in.
I didn’t know what they meant by this sudden inquisition, so I replied, “It must be nice to go for walks by the river and be so close to the city, we often come here for walks our self.”
The dad just huffed in his corner and the mum mumbled something about the area, but to be honest I was a little confused (there was no mistaking these two had a weird vibe to them, plus the dad was acting quite anti-social…may be even aggressive?)
The conversation only got weirder as we started the topic of travelling. We told them about our modest travels and about a recent holiday to Turkey. This caused the dad to rile up and he started boasting about all the different countries he had visited… seemed like all of them to be honest. We were mildly impressed, but I was more confused when I was told he had visited most of them without his family.
Not to let spark of conversation die, I couldn’t help but ask, “Does your family not like to travel?”
“No, we go on family holidays sometimes”, the girl’s mother interjected.
“Oh, so you must of done all that travelling when you were younger then?”, I say.
The dad just stares at me….
“Do you travel for work?”, I ask.
“Sometimes for business but mostly I just travel…”, he finally replies.
“Oh ok….. it must be nice…. Sorry, uncle… but what do you do for work again?”, I ask this knowing that he hadn’t actually mentioned what he did.
All I get in response is, “Business….”
(Weird response I hope you agree? All I kept thinking was “WHO ARE THESE SHADY WEIRDOS?”)
We have been here for at least 45 minutes at this point and there is no sign of this girl I’m supposed to be meeting, so the conversation carried on. My sister and brother-in-law talked about their wedding and this is always a safe happy topic which distracts people and my mum talked about Pakistan, India and family. Eventually it seemed everyone had settled in, even the dad made a few normal remarks in the conversation. Then we turned to politics the topic of Brexit had reared its ugly head.
Now I can’t quite remember what exactly was said but I said something along the lines of Brexit being negative for the UK and how it will make people worse off. The dad then said that I didn’t know what I was talking about and that the UK had ruled the world and the people in charge knew what they were doing.. he then said that I’m still a kid…. (It was rude thinking back on it but Tbh at the age I was [late 20’s] I didn’t know weather to be flattered or offended at being called a kid lol!)
So the time is slowly dragging along and its been a 30 minute wait for them to arrive in their own living room, a further 50 minute strange conversation… we are fast approaching the 90 minute mark and no sign of this girl… my mum finally just asks bluntly that when will we get to meet her?! The parents then explain that they wanted to be sure we were the right sort of people before they presented their daughter to us (Geez Louise! Did it really take you nearly 90 minutes to determine we weren’t low life thugs or something! Besides that’s what the phone conversation is for before you invite people to you home!)
So eventually they bring in the girl and she is decently pretty, she was wearing a two toned abaya and hijab, she was the right sort of height and weight… she was perfectly normal in a good way. She was shy and spoke to my mum and sister for a little bit, then we were put in the kitchen so we could talk in private…
This is the weirdest part of the whole thing…. She was a really nice girl! She was religious but not closed to the world and we made a few jokes about how we both had to deal with parents who were religious in a desi sort of way (desi people you know what I mean lol!). We talked abut culture, about hobbies, jobs, future plans, travel, family… I honestly had a good time talking with her (I was actually quite chuffed and I thought that this girl was the best match I had yet…). She was doing an Aalima course (so she was furthering her religious studies), she had gone to Turkey was a religious camp and she travelled in this programme learning hadith from scholars, she confessed her family were more cultural and she was more religious, she was a teacher, she wanted to travel more, she did charitable work, she was about family values and didn’t mind a joint family system and felt things eventually worked out for the best… we even had a few laughs (I was surprised to learn from my family that the girl’s parents thought we were fighting and that’s why the mum came into make some more tea)… I asked if she wanted to take things forward and meet outside, being respectful of her religiosity I said we would meet with my sister and that she could bring anyone she likes, she agreed to this and said it would be fine. I asked if we should we exchange numbers and offered to even place a chaperone on the WhatsApp chat if she liked, she said that wouldn’t be necessary but she didn’t mind… she was about to give me her number when she stopped and requested that my mother ask her mother for it (it seemed reasonable to me at the time, as this is the case with some families…formalities …sigh).
So this is where the plot thickens… My mum phoned the girl’s mum (Mad-rose) the next day and basically explained that I felt it was a good match and that I wanted the girl’s number as was discussed. The girl’s mother was apparently shocked at this and said in a very arrogantly rude way that she didn’t understand how we could ask for the girl’s number when they hadn’t even come over to our house yet and assessed if we were worth the trouble! Apparently, they hadn’t gleamed any idea of what type of people we were from their 2-hour interrogation! The words she used to say this implied they wanted to know how much money we had, check our social status is etc… (In fairness these are things most people are curious about, however most people have the class not to be so rude about it!)
When my mum told me about this I was quite taken aback, but I brushed it off as a misunderstanding. My mum proper grilled me about what actually happened in the kitchen with the girl. I was certain we had a positive interaction and the girl asked that we get her number through her mum. Anyway, we decided that we would invite them over…. This time my mum phoned with me present… The conversation started normally, and my mum even explained that we phoned to invite them over and hopefully take things forward if they liked what they saw (again these were some low-class parents…I’m sorry for the shade but it’s true!), my mum then asked if they would share the girls contact with us now or after their visit and if they would give permission for their girl to meet with me somewhere outside (she even gave reassurances on character and said a chaperone would be present)… This girl’s mum then latched on to this phone number thing and turned aggressive! She basically started saying that they didn’t do this sort of thing in their family and that their girl would never agree to this. My mum explained that all we were doing was asking for a phone number (pretty basic thing nowadays) and that it was not being asked without their girl’s agreement. The lady became even more aggressive saying she didn’t know who thought we were and that I must of forced their girl and that I was probably of low character (lol! I mean what were these people on… do they not know why they invited us over to their house?)… my mum was quite shocked at the level of aggressiveness and was getting quite annoyed and so was I…. this argument continued for a fair bit and my mum was calm at first explaining that this was no big deal thinking that may be they weren’t so in tune with the whole rishta process… but this lady kept insulting us… so I had had enough and told my mum to end it and tell them we weren’t interested any more (they can keep their daughter… good luck to them with this attitude!)… my mum breathed a sigh of relief but made sure that I meant what I had said…she then happily ended the call making sure to tell the lady that her weird attitude ended this rishta…. The lady then started to swear and cuss, so we hung up.
You think that would be the end of it….but no! This lady, this obsessive, crazy, MAD-rose, over the course of the next few days had left about 50-60 absurd, offensive, threatening and downright bizarre text and voice messages, she had rung multiple times from her phone and unknown numbers. My mum unfortunately picked up some of her calls by mistake and was subjected to threats and abuse… To go into all of what was said and written would be book in itself so I will give you the headlines (minus any foul language of course); She was still in this disbelief that we had besmirched her pure and angelic daughter’s name by suggesting that she would ever want to share her number with me. She was still on this hype of trying to prove that I had coerced their poor helpless daughter into agreeing to give her number but at the same time denying that she even agreed (like what did these psychos think happened in their kitchen… jeez they were making it out as If I had assaulted them and their entire family!). She was offended at our “freeloader” tactics and how we came over to their house and ate their kebabs and took advantage of their hospitality, so therefore we were the criminal sort (those kebabs were so bad btw…). Apparently, her husband just knew we were awful people right off the bat and knew we wouldn’t be the right sort and were time wasters (I’m not surprised there lol!). Then she tried this weird tactic of pretending everything was ok and that they wanted to move ahead with the rishta and that we should tell them our address… she tried this multiple times getting more aggressive each time on her voice notes (So she thought we were stupid too….hmm this lady was on one!). She then started to threaten us by saying she would rough us up somehow and that we should just tell her our address to make it easier (I’m diagnosing a mental health disorder here…). She claimed she was a social worker and that she would somehow use her connections in the council (not even the same one where we live btw) to destroy our lives…… I wish to remind you at this point that all this because we asked for their girl’s number…. Psycho much! The only constant in all of this absurdity was Mad-rose’s desperation in trying to get a hold of me… she tried to insult my manliness saying that I was to scared to talk to her (she used much more provocative language than that may I add, but too bad for her that I’m not some mindless chauvinistic thug, because even though it’s annoying those type of comments won’t cause me react without calculation!), she was very desperate that I talk with her (probably so she could have a fight with me) to know what was said between her daughter and I….
Unfortunately, my mum suffered all of this in silence as she didn’t want to bother me as I was very busy with work that week (May Allah bless her and forgive all her sins! Grant her the best of this world and the hereafter! Ameen!) It was only when my sister and her in-laws came over for a family dinner that we all noticed how anxious my mum was (she can’t handle stressful situations well) that she finally let out what had been happening all week. We all went through the messages and voice notes… we were so shocked and so angry! Here I was thinking this matter ended nearly a week ago and yet this cow was harassing my mum all week!
During our dinner my mum’s phone started ringing and this time I saw red. I marched straight over, but somehow my sister ninja ran there before me and stopped me picking up… I was so angry I was ready to tell this crazy lady all about herself, but my sister bless her heart stopped me… her thinking was that she didn’t want the lady the satisfaction of talking to me (I wasn’t so supportive of this stance at the time and really wanted to have a go at this lady for harassing my mum, but my sister didn’t want us to be reduced to her level). When my sister picked up the phone, the lady was already rude and loud off the bat but once she realised that it was my sister and not my mum she calmed down significantly (not so confident with a British educated English speaker I see…hmmm). My sister told that lady all about her rudeness and answered all her crazy comments and snarls, but she did so in an assertive way without raising her voice, using any foul language or swearing.
The highlights of the call were as follows; She told that lady that if she was so worried about her daughter she shouldn’t be entertaining any rishtas in the first place… the lady was literally told not waste our time anymore because we were not interested in their family because of their appalling behaviour (my sister always had a bit of school teacher in her lol!)… it was quite clear that they weren’t interested in any rishta for their daughter, but there were a thousand different ways to quietly reject the rishta rather than this low-class drama… the objective of the argument was the lady’s desperate attempt to speak to me (I was happy to oblige but my mum and sister didn’t want me to)… the real kicker came when my sister told this lady that she wouldn’t ever get to speak to me, that is when this lady had what only sounded like a spasm (my goodness!)… my sister explained that why should they let her speak to me when she wasn’t letting us speak to her daughter… this lady was flabbergasted at the idea that we should ever speak to her daughter… my sister then asked why was she so desperate to speak to me anyway because her daughter should of told her everything…. Then ladies and gentlemen this was said…
“Why should I ask my daughter about this?!”, Mad-rose said.
“What do you mean? You haven’t asked your daughter about what she thought of my brother or about what was said?”, My sister genuinely asked in a shocked manner.
“I would never bother my daughter with such things….”, Mad-rose replied maddeningly.
This was the crux of the whole situation! The simple maddening truth behind all of it… she hadn’t even bothered to talk to her own daughter. We all basically started shouting at her on the phone at that point and told her that if she ever called us or harassed us again we would report her and her husband to the police (we made it a point to remind her she left plenty of incriminating evidence on our phone and we wondered what their daughter would think about that)… we didn’t get another peep out of her after that and thankfully no more harassment.
The mysterious rishta aunty called that weekend to check up on the progress (HAHAHAHA!) When my mum irritatingly told her about the whole ordeal, the lady snorted out a few choice names (bleeping beeps... LOL!) at the girl and the girl’s mother! She sounded genuinely annoyed and called them both witches (lol!), she went on to say that we were saved by Allah from them and it was probably because we were good people, unlike them apparently…. It also turned out that the rishta aunty knew them in a friend/ acquaintance sort of way (remember when Mad-rose said she didn’t know the rishta aunty! Why would you lie?) … the rishta aunty said that they always rejected any rishta she gave them and always in such brutal ways… apparently, they strung a family on for 4 months and then rejected the poor boy because he was “too dark and fat” (why? .. how?... what?). My mum made it quite clear she was very unhappy about the whole experience, but that she wasn’t mad at the rishta aunty… when she asked about her identity the aunty quickly made her excuses, rounded off the conversation and made haste…. never will we know who this mysterious instigator was… and we never heard from her again!
Now I’m very sorry for such a long read, but please upvote and comment below as it encourages me. I know there will be questions, even I still have questions lol!
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2020.10.04 06:47 Thisisbhusha Desi aunty voyeur

I mean sure, we’ve heard about incels outside India. They’re young men not necessarily unattractive but they post wierd stuff on the internet and might even shoot up places.
I was thinking about that. Sure thing India has incels. What do you think fits the average Indian incel profile? The teenagers and college kids preaching life advice on quora? The unkills who harass bachelors? Nosy aunties butting in your privacy?
Personally I don’t know any incels irl. The closest I’ve seen were nutjobs on quora. But again, we aren’t ourselves online. So what is a desi incel like? Any identifiers? Are they any different from the incel trope abroad?
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2020.10.03 06:47 sendhelpmyrosinbroke Voyeur aunty desi

Have any of you come out yet? How do you think desi aunties are gonna react?
submitted by sendhelpmyrosinbroke to lgbtqteensindia [link] [comments]


2020.09.26 10:34 boldladki Voyeur aunty desi

Desi aunty to girls: submitted by boldladki to u/boldladki [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 16:25 AKuma381 Desis and Empathy/ Bad emotional support

*Disclaimer*
_______________________
I'm making this post as almost a discussion or debate post because I want to see if anyone agrees with me or disagrees with me and explain why they feel that way. I posted this on the ABCDesis subreddit but not many people responded. So I want some outside perspective from the rest of the Asian community. have any of you guys noticed any overlapping similarities regarding this topic in your community?
___________________
I think that a lot of Desi people tend to lack empathy, at least when giving advice. In my experience, most advice I've ever gotten from an auntie or uncle or even my peers have all been empathetic towards family goals or career goals, and lack the mental health goal aspect. There's nothing wrong with that, but in a situation where I've already considered my family's desires and the con is that I give up my life experiences to fulfill that, that's a situation where I have to look after my happiness in my opinion.
I know our culture has an emphasis on the family, but when the family gets in the way of your happiness, isn't it best to move past family? I feel like if your family genuinely cares for you, then regardless of whether you listen to them or not, they will be there to help you. Sometimes, desi parents can be very stubborn about their values and express that in a toxic manner, but it shouldn't stop you from exploring and trying to figure out your place in the world. In this situation, the generic "think about your parent" doesn't work. You have thought about your family, and you know you won't lead a happy life following the path they've set out for you, even if they did it with your best interest in mind.
We've heard this one a lot, "focus on your career first." I feel like this is the bullshit advice that a lot of people give when they can't think of advice to give when someone is going through a heartbreak or some loss. It seems harmless enough, but it's a little invalidating of the person's emotions because it doesn't allow them the freedom to work through their feelings and give them the reassurance that you're going to be there for them. It's like get over it and work on yourself. It's good advice, but it's just not something that would be helpful when someone is in the process of experiencing those emotions.
I feel like the only empathy that's shown is when it is towards family, or maybe another empathy is just expressed in a way that's harder to understand for me.
That's my starting two cents on the matter for this discussion; what do you guys think?
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2020.09.22 17:57 AKuma381 Voyeur desi aunty

*Disclaimer*
_______________________
I'm making this post as almost a discussion or debate post because I want to see if anyone agrees with me or disagrees with me and explain why they feel that way. I understand that every desi person isn't bad at emotional support. Please read why I have this opinion and express your perspective.
___________________

I think that a lot of Desi people tend to lack empathy, at least when giving advice. In my experience, most advice I've ever gotten from an auntie or uncle or even my peers have all been empathetic towards family goals or career goals, and lack the mental health goal aspect. There's nothing wrong with that, but in a situation where I've already considered my family's desires and the con is that I give up my life experiences to fulfill that, that's a situation where I have to look after my happiness in my opinion.
I know our culture has an emphasis on the family, but when the family gets in the way of your happiness, isn't it best to move past family? I feel like if your family genuinely cares for you, then regardless of whether you listen to them or not, they will be there to help you. Sometimes, desi parents can be very stubborn about their values and express that in a toxic manner, but it shouldn't stop you from exploring and trying to figure out your place in the world. In this situation, the generic "think about your parent" doesn't work. You have thought about your family, and you know you won't lead a happy life following the path they've set out for you, even if they did it with your best interest in mind.
We've heard this one a lot, "focus on your career first." I feel like this is the bullshit advice that a lot of people give when they can't think of advice to give when someone is going through a heartbreak or some loss. It seems harmless enough, but it's a little invalidating of the person's emotions because it doesn't allow them the freedom to work through their feelings and give them the reassurance that you're going to be there for them. It's like get over it and work on yourself. It's good advice, but it's just not something that would be helpful when someone is in the process of experiencing those emotions.

I feel like the only empathy that's shown is when it is towards family, or maybe other empathy is just expressed in a way that's harder to understand for me.
That's my starting two cents on the matter for this discussion; what do you guys think?
submitted by AKuma381 to ABCDesis [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 10:23 as22df Desi aunty voyeur

I've been coming across a lot of guys thru my mom/ rishta aunties who specifically want a non-hijabi. I am shocked because we are all Muslim here and I don't understand what's so bad about wearing hijab!
I came across one of these guys on muzmatch, he marked himself as very religious and "always prays" but his rishta aunty profile said no hijabis.
Also, it seems like moms really care about this one. If anyone here knows the reasoning behind this, please explain it to me! This seems to be a common thing among desis, it's making it really hard to find someone :/
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2020.09.12 01:47 mrsvanchamarch Desi aunty voyeur

We’re at this point of the competition now where (most of) the chaff has been thoroughly thrashed and sent to The Dungeons, so now I’ve decided to ramp things up a bit. It’s going to either: a) make you laugh, b) make you go ‘good point, Mrs. V’ or c) put together a hunting party to come and (socially distance, mind) fight me. Which, if you do, bring it. I’ll ram those birthday cake Timbits donut holes for the non-Canadians so far up your nose, you’ll be seeing stars.
In other words, I’m going to get very personal. Since the 4th edition of the rankdown isn’t based on objective literary merit, but our own whimsy, I’ll be whimsying so damn hard. Because I’m English and a complete walking stereotype, I’m going to cut characters that I find RUDE. And all levels of rudeness are included from being impolite at dinners to bullying, harassment, and non-consensual body-binding. Nothing is off the table. And I am going to sound like Violet Crawley at some points so picture a very disapproving Maggie Smith while you read my cuts from now on.
Now look, you’ll be thinking ‘Fleur? But why? How dare you! She was talented and brave! A Triwizard Champion!’
All undeniable facts, true. And I’m not here to contest that in this cut. That’s not my purpose. But I just don’t like how abrasive her personality is. God, I’d hate to know anyone like that in real life. It’d be exhausting to be around for more than ten minutes without ripping your eyebrows right off.
The first impression she gives me, in Goblet of Fire, is someone who is eternally ungrateful. When a host kindly welcomes you into your home (or castle), you have your duties as guest. Don’t raid their fridge without permission, don’t take a massive dump in the toilet and blame the dog, and don’t, whatever you do, criticise the host.
It is not only the height of ingratitude, it’s often embarrassing or upsetting for the host (or their family) to hear that. They’ve tried so hard, pulled out all the stops to make you feel as much at home as possible, and yet, if after all of that, your first response is this, just know that I sincerely wish you step on a lego brick:

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, ghosts and — most particularly — guests,” said Dumbledore, beaming around at the foreign students. “I have great pleasure in welcoming you all to Hogwarts. I hope and trust that your stay here will be both comfortable and enjoyable.” One of the Beauxbatons girls still clutching a muffler around her head gave what was unmistakably a derisive laugh.
This isn’t the first time she’s dissatisfied either. With all the strength of 50 desi aunties (that’s South Asian for all you non-desi folks!), Fleur makes certain that everyone around her knows just how thoroughly miserable she feels:
Examples 1
The house-elves down in the kitchen were outdoing themselves with a series of rich, warming stews and savory puddings, and only Fleur Delacour seemed to be able to find anything to complain about. “It is too ’eavy, all zis ’Ogwarts food,” they heard her saying grumpily as they left the Great Hall behind her one evening [...] “I will not fit into my dress robes!”
Example 2
Meanwhile Fleur Delacour was criticizing the Hogwarts decorations to Roger Davies. “Zis is nothing,” she said dismissively, looking around at the sparkling walls of the Great Hall. “At ze Palace of Beauxbatons, we ’ave ice sculptures all around ze dining chamber at Chreestmas. Zey do not melt, of course . . . zey are like ’uge statues of diamond, glittering around ze place. And ze food is seemply superb. And we ’ave choirs of wood nymphs, ’oo serenade us as we eat. We ’ave none of zis ugly armor in ze ’alls, and eef a poltergeist ever entaired into Beauxbatons, ’e would be expelled like zat. ” She slapped her hand onto the table impatiently.
The biggest examples though, come from the Half-Blood Prince where Mrs. Weasley and Fleur clash very frequently. Obviously, neither of them is completely innocent here, but Fleur wasn’t doing herself any favours to get the matriarch on side. I don’t need to link any further examples for this bit, but trust me, doing an unflattering imitation of your future mother-in-law’s favourite singer and song, is not the way to get her to apologise for not knitting you a Christmas sweater (which, as an aside, I also found rude of Mrs. W. to do).
Her comments aren’t limited to her surroundings either. I cannot excuse her for what she said about Tonks’ physical appearance here which was completely unwarranted:
“She has let ’erself go, zat Tonks,” Fleur mused, examining her own stunning reflection in the back of a teaspoon. “A big mistake if you ask —”
It’s such a “Mean Girls” thing to say about someone that you don’t even know all that well and I imagine that’s what JKR was going for. She wanted Fleur to be a beautifully-arrogant and clever witch, but it needed to have been toned down just a tad. That’s why I MUCH prefer movie Fleur to her book counterpart, although we miss her speech about Bill and his scars - which redeemed her a little in my eyes, but not enough to forget all the moments before where she made me want to put the book in a rocket launcher and shoot into the stratosphere.
I know a lot of you will disagree with the fact that I cut her based on her critical personality alone, but when I’m considering a personalised ranking of HP characters I love, Fleur isn’t the first person I immediately think of. She isn’t even on the list and hopefully, the above has explained a little of the why.
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2020.09.11 10:04 whatsappgrouplinhub Desi aunty voyeur

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2020.09.08 04:24 SnooPears8804 Desi aunty voyeur

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2020.09.07 13:44 whales-are-gay Desi aunty voyeur

how did you pick a name? esp since so much of the name choosing process involves going on baby names with white names, finding a latin word that sounds cool, or whatever. i know two other trans desi people, and one of them chose a white name because he doesn't have a connection to desi culture. the other is also struggling with the name choosing process.
how do you pick a name when every desi name site lists the same 10 names over and over, and they all belong to some uncle or auntie i already know? the name i was given is really hindu/kinda hard to pronounce (for white people) but i dont want to lose that.... idk what to do.
edit: i'm nonbinary so i want a gender neutral name
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