Penis camera inside vagina

2020.09.22 07:48 walkerjw95 First Post But A Brave One - TRIGGER WARNING

Today I spoke out for the Truth Project, which is an independent enquiry into child sex abuse in the UK. Please look at this project if you are a survivor living in the UK.
This is the story of my childhood abuse please don't read ahead if you don't feel you can because I do talk about the abuse I experienced.
I was born in the UK, at the time we lived on an RAF base as my father was in the forces. My parents were young both 21 and had got married whilst my mum was pregnant with me. A bit over a year later my sister was born. That completed the family unit of 4. We lived on RAF bases for a couple of years then moved to Cornwall where we would reside for many years to come. My Father left the forces when moving to Cornwall. I don’t really remember living on the RAF bases or moving to Cornwall, Cornwall is all I really know, I was probably about 3 and half years old when we moved there. I remember living in a couple of houses for a very short period of time before moving to a house on a council estate, when I was about 4 years old, where we would live for 9 years. It was a perfect location really, my Nan lived a few doors up and there was plenty of space outside to play and other children of the same age to play with. I made friends with a girl of the same age who lived a 2 doors down and went to the same primary school as me. Our families became friends and we would see each other a lot and always had birthday parties together and even see each other on Christmas. There were two other families on the estate who also had children the same age as me and in my year at primary school, I got on with one well and the other was very on and off. Another family moved in a few years later who we would become close friends with too who lived opposite. Growing up wasn’t always easy living on a council estate, we had neighbors who would stay up all night partying making so much racket so that we couldn’t sleep for school, there was arguing all the time somewhere on the estate late at night and the police would always be visiting someone’s house due to disturbance. We had people break into our garden a lot and even our home. My mum would be threatened with knives etc. if she asked them to turn the music down and people would always want to fight (including the children). It wore my mum down living with noise and disturbance all night all the time. No matter how many times you reported it to the housing association or the police nothing ever seemed to be done about it.
My mum worked full time to provide for our family and was the main breadwinner, she worked shifts including night shifts as she was a carer. My father had different jobs, I don’t really remember exactly what they were, I remember one was fixing PlayStations and one was caring but other than that I don’t remember. He was at home a lot around the age of 7 onwards as he didn’t have a job for a while and was a stay at home dad. My Nan and my Aunty looked after my sister and I a lot when my mum was working, we were all very close. We would spend weekends at our aunts and during the week Nan would take us to school.
I loved going to school, I enjoyed learning new things, I think most children like primary school. We walked to school mainly because it was not far. I always did well in school all of my parent evenings were always positive and they never had any concerns about my learning. My sister also did well in school. My favorite subjects were science and maths. I had many friends at primary school and they all lived close. There would always be your usual fallings out but they never lasted long. However, in the later few school years in primary school the girl on my estate whose relationship was very on and off and another girl who lived a bit further up the road took a disliking to me and bullied me about the way I looked, the way I acted and would say horrible things about my glasses and would try and do activities with all of my other friends so that I was left out alone. My teacher in year 6 was also very horrible about my hair, I had a fringe and my mum didn’t always have the time to cut it, it was in my eyes one day and the teacher was horrible about it and made me cry. My mum complained to the head teacher about this. When it come to choosing which secondary school there was only one option for me really and it was the school where the bullies weren’t going. It meant it was further away but I could have the chance of not seeing them all day every day as the bullying continued after school when I went outside to play too. One child on my estate, who was the brother of the girl who lived on my estate and was bullying me, bullied me the most and the worst, if I went outside he would push me, punch me, say mean things, one time he even got me in a headlock and kept punching and punching my head, nearly knocking me unconscious, my mum had to call the police. As I got older living on the estate just got worse, the bullying was daily and I felt I couldn’t leave the house much unless it was to go to my nans or my friends two doors down. My sister was out playing all the time as her friends were nice most of the time.
There was one other thing that was happening, on top of all the bullying, during all of this, behind closed doors, I was being sexually abused by my father. Its hard to write that and its still so sore, I think it will always hurt but I’m used to it hurting now. It started around the age of 6/7 maybe slightly earlier. It was always when my mum was at work, which was a lot. I never blame my mum though she was doing her best to provide for our family and give us the best life possible, if she didn’t work then we wouldn’t have a house over our head etc. Plus how was she supposed to know this was happening. It started when my father told me to sit on his lap as he wanted to show me something on his computer, what he would show me was adult porn, I had no idea what it was I was watching being to young but I remember I wasn’t comfortable watching it, I would often look away and try and get off his lap to go outside to play, he would hold me tight on his lap and say I can go outside after I have finished watching it. This would happen a few times a week. My sister was always playing outside or round her friends house when this would happen. It then escalated from there, he would masturbate with me on his lap whilst the porn on was on the computer. I would never know what to do I just felt uncomfortable but I didn’t understand what was happening I was only a young child, how was I supposed to know.
One morning I was watching a film or TV program on the telly and my father came over and went to lie behind me for cuddles, this wasn’t unusual everyone has cuddles with their parents as a child, but this time it was different. He pulled a blanket over us and put his hand down my trousers and pants, touching me where he shouldn’t, this carried on. I just lay there not know what to do. He would say to me don’t tell mummy this is daddies special time. This became a regular occurrence, happening numerous time a week depending on what shifts mum was on. It happened in most rooms of the house when I could be doing anything, I would just freeze and not really say anything. Again my sister was always out on these occasions.
When my father put my sister and I to bed he would often read us a story, he would always lie in my bed to read the story, this was so he had easy access to touch me, he would wait until my sister was asleep then do it, or if my mum was working tell me to come into his room, I would often say that I didn’t want to but he would grab my arm and start to pull me to the room and tell me not to make a fuss. He would then touch me, force me to touch him and eventually after a few times of this he then proceeded to rape me. The first time I cried, I kept telling him I didn’t like it and that it hurt and all I wanted to do was sleep, he would whisper in my ear to keep still it won’t take long then I can go back and go to sleep. I couldn’t wait until it was over. Again, he told me not to tell mummy as mummy would get very angry with me and my sister and I might go into care. After the first few times I gave up fighting all the time whilst it happened as it was no use and then I used to just stare up at the ceiling and count the little bumps and try and forget what was happening. I knew what was happening wasn’t quite right but I didn’t realise the true extent and damage that was being caused by his actions. Over the years there was not a part of my body that had not been violated by him.
He would pull me upstairs from downstairs I would fight to get away at the bottom of the stairs but his grip was too tight, I would protest when he pulled me to his bed in the early hours of the morning and keep me there until an hour before school. However sometimes I didn’t have the energy to fight so I just complied, it was easier that way, it was going to happen no matter what. As I got older probably about the age of 9/10 I didn’t fight at all anymore, you might ask why, the reason was because I had endured years of this happening practically daily unless my mum had a few days off work and it became the norm, another big reason is because if I didn’t do it then I was always afraid he would then do it to my sister. I would have done anything to protect my sister, as it happened to me for years I just agreed so that he could never decide to do it to her. My aim was to protect her from what was happening to me.
I wanted to tell someone when I realised that I was being sexually abused, this realisation happened when I was about 11. I said to my father that I was going to tell and he threatened me, frightened me, when I was in the bath one time he held me under water long enough to scare me thinking I was going to drown and then told me if I told then next time I would get hurt or go into care. I couldn’t tell, no matter how hard I wanted to. So I kept it secret. My behavior never changed during this time, I played with my friends when I could, no one would know any different, I showed no typical signs that something was wrong. I know my mum and sister blame themselves for not knowing but how can you know when nothing ever changes to let you know differently. The people that carry out these actions they do so very carefully and they know how to manipulate their victims into not saying or showing signs that anything is wrong. I don’t blame them so why should they blame themselves. No one has a crystal ball you don’t know what you can’t see. The teachers did not know because I was doing well at school, I never acted out and I was always a seemingly happy child to everyone on the outside.
I had one main coping mechanism over these many years that enabled me to get on and hide this secret and still be able to try and live a ‘normal’ life. It was my dog. My dog saved my life. After every incident that took place, whether I waited until later that day or the day after, when I was alone I would tell my dog what happened and tell my dog how I felt. She would cuddle me, we lay on the floor just cuddling or we would be playing. She knew everything. I got everything off my shoulders, she held my deepest darkest secrets but couldn’t tell anyone. I loved my dog, I don’t think I would have endured life if it wasn’t for my dog. That’s how I managed to forget between episodes and try to be a child. I was telling, just not to someone who could help.
I used to love sleepovers around my nans, my aunts and my friends because I was safe. My sister and I would also have friends stay over ours as well and I was safe then too.
One day when I was 13 I came home from school after my sisters sports day and mum was upset, she explained to my sister and I that dad had been taken away by the police to help them with an investigation but that he wouldn’t be coming back for a while. My sister and I wouldn’t believe what was happening and were very upset. I asked if I could go and see my friend over the road and mum was hesitant at first but then agreed I went running over there and was crying, they asked what had happened and I told them, my mum then came over and thought it was best that I go home. When we got back home mum told us in more detail what had happened and a social worker was there. My father has been arrested for sex offences against a minor. The report had come from the family that I just visited. I felt betrayed, they knew why I was crying but pretended not to know. I didn’t speak to them after, in my mind they had take my father away from me. I hated what was happening to me behind closed doors but at the end of the day as a child I felt that he was still my father, I had split them into two people, one was my father and one was a monster, this made it easier to live with. The social worker asked us if anything had ever happened to my sister or I, I instantly denied everything, my sister also said no. They had no reason not to believe us, my mum had no reason to not believe us either. So no further action from the social worker happened.
A new life has begun on this day, although at the beginning I was so upset that my father had been taken away, I would later realise what this actually meant for me. I was free, although I thought I was, I was free from the actual abuse but little did I know I was not free from the suffering that the abuse caused.
My father plead not guilty to the case and therefore it went to court, it was reported in all the newspapers and Cornwall being small and us having quite an unusual surname everyone knew it was my father even if the newspaper didn’t name us as his children. The bullying that I received became unbearable, I would be spat on, pushed on the floor, beaten up, excluded from everything, name called, I would be told multiple times a day that my family is disgusting, that I am disgusting. I didn’t want to go outside. The outside world was horrible, kids are horrible, but it wasn’t just the kids, the mother of the family over the road, the ones that reported this to the police, she would stare horribly at us like we were a piece of rubbish, she would know that her children were being so so horrible and not do anything about it. She would pull her children away from us if we passed in the street. I would just come home and cry in my bed for hours and cuddle my mum all the time jut crying because of the bullies. The bullying felt worse than the abuse I had received for years because I had learnt to cope with that. I had no coping mechanism for this and there felt like no escape. My mum spoke to the school about what had happened and they tried to out measures in place to keep me away from the bullies but that didn’t stop them outside of school. Secondary school has its own challenges for any normal child let alone all of this on top. I was lucky I had a best friend in secondary school who was there for me no matter what and stuck by me through everything.
There was a long wait for the case to get to court whilst all evidence etc. was gathered. My father moved to Manchester close to his family. He got a new girlfriend in this time, a woman who I later found out he was having an affair with whilst with my mum. My mum allowed my sister and I telephone contact with our father after we asked to keep in contact. I was angry at my father for having another girlfriend. My sister missed him a lot. I put on a brave face and spoke to him like normal because I didn’t want anyone to suspect anything and I could see how much talking to him meant to my sister. During the wait for trial we saw my father for dinner once in a pub, my mum attended as she did not trust him on his own with us, which was understandable, we caught up talking about school and how he was settling in up in Manchester all the usual things you would talk about, anything but the court case. A few months later we visited him up country, he lived with his new girlfriend. I was extremely nervous about visiting but I was brave, I did it so my sister could see him. I played over and over what I would do if he tried to do anything with me again and I was certain I would fight and I wasn’t afraid to tell someone if something did happen. Nothing did thank goodness. I felt relieved when I got home.
During this time my father announced that him and his girlfriend were having a new baby. I was furious as I found out over Facebook. He was too much of a coward to tell me first because he knew I would be so angry. Not only was I angry because I didn’t like the fact he had a new girl firmed but because he was bringing a new life into the world when he couldn’t even keep the ones that he already had safe. I was worried that if it was a girl she could be at risk and I wouldn’t be there to protect this one. I shouted and screamed and swore down the phone at him. He had the baby not long before the court case and it was a girl. My biggest fears came true. I just kept thinking how could his girlfriend be so stupid, he was about to go to court accused of sex crimes against children and yet she had a baby with him!!
The court case came and the details were all in the paper, this is when I found out the details about what had actually happened. I knew what had been accused was true. My sister’s friend had stayed over for a sleepover, she had blonde hair like me and was probably a similar height. She slept in my bed. My father drank John Smiths most evenings and I could always smell it on his breath. He had probably drank that night. He then got into her bed and touched her in appropriately in the night. I instantly felt guilt and shame, I felt like it was my fault because it was my bed. I kept thinking I shouldn’t have let anyone stay in my bed then they wouldn’t be subjected to this like I was. I now know 10 years later that it wasn’t my fault and it was his actions not mine however I still feel guilty about it and I don’t think that will go away. At the end of the court case, he was found guilty and was sentenced to 2 years in prison, it was a small sentence due to it being his first offence and him being an upstanding member of society having worked in the forces and helping in the community with air cadets etc. I felt like I had to try and forget about this now and try and move on with my life it was all over officially now, no more contact he was in prison I didn’t have to worry anymore, I thought I would feel better.
As time went on my mum, sister and I started to rebuild our lives after the embarrassment caused by everything being reported in the papers. The newspapers had no consideration for the families involved when publishing these stories, no consideration on how this would affect our lives. The aftermath of it all. The bullying continued for me for years to come. I took my anger and hurt out on my mum and my sister which strained our relationships but we were determined to get passed it.
I didn’t know where my father was in prison nor did I know when he was due out or what would happen when he was released but one day probably about a year on from him being sent to prison I woke up one morning and I wanted to tell my mum what happened. I was nervous about it and didn’t know how to approach the subject but I was just filled with the overwhelming sense that I needed the weight lifted and this day was the day. I leapt out of bed and barged into my mums room and said I had something to tell her and I just blurted it out. My mum was stunned by what I had said but gave me the biggest cuddle and told me that everything was going to be OK, I cried and she cried. She believed me straight away, she didn’t even question it. I can’t remember exactly what I said to her but remember she asked me a couple questions and I answered them. She wanted to go to the police hut I said I wasn’t ready for that and if she did I would deny it because I wasn’t ready to talk to them. I just wanted to tell someone. He couldn’t get me I was safe so there was no need to tell anyone else at that moment. My mum held me and told me that when I was ready I just had to let her know and we would go together. I made her promise she wouldn’t go until I was ready. I’m so grateful that my mum believed me straight away and was there for me and made me feel comfortable to tell her. I couldn’t have asked for more from her and for that I’m so thankful, she listened and didn’t force me into anything I wasn’t comfortable doing yet. After that we just carried on with everything like normal, like nothing had happened and that’s how I wanted it.
A few months or about a year later I woke up again with the same overwhelming sense that that was the day to go to the police. I didn’t feel safe for some reason or another and I wasn’t sure why, I had not reason, or so I believed, to feel like that. I went into my mums room and said I’m ready to tell now. She knew what I meant and she phone in to the school and said that I won’t be in today and she phoned work. We got ready to walk to the police station, she asked me if I wanted to take my Teddy, this was the same teddy I slept with every night, the same teddy that was older than me that had always gone with me wherever I went including into the hospital for various surgeries or broken bones etc. I took my Teddy as my safety blanket. I felt sick but I knew I needed to do this. I wanted to do it, I didn’t want him to get out and go back to his new family and down the line he would do it again to his new daughter. The police officer seemed nice as did the social worker. I went into a room with them both and sat on a sofa whilst they were in two chairs, the room was made to try and make you feel more comfortable but it reminded me of my great nans living room. They pointed out the cameras and explained everything to me and we proceeded. They said to start from the beginning which I did, but then they needed more detail, they needed me to tell them every exact little detail I could remember about every single time. However, if you experience something daily it all merges together especially daily over a period of 7 years. There were a few occasions that reoccurred and so these remained vividly in my mind, or there was a couple where I really put up a fight, I also remembered these. I told the officer and social worker but I struggled to actually say the words, rape, vagina, penis, or describe in detail what had actually happened because it was as though I had to believe it had actually happened. All this time it was just something at the back of my mind that I tried to forget and now it’s all at the surface. The secret that I had held in for so long. The office kept asking and asking so he could get all of the information he needed. I think I could only describe in detail 5 exact occasions but I did explain that this happened everyday practically. It was not a comfortable experience and to be honest I think it’s one I do not want to experience again ever. It has probably put me off reporting anything just because it was so intrusive and because of that I feel I could not get my point across properly; the memories were locked away so deep they didn’t want to come out.
At the end of the interview the officer asked if I had any requests, I explained that I did not want this reported in the papers because of the bullying that all came from last time it got reported. It was agreed with the officers and my mum that the case would be held out of County to try and stop the media from publishing this. I was grateful for this. It was later that day that we found out that it was on that day that I went to the police that my father was due out of prison. I did not previously know this, today I still think it’s such a strange coincidence that it was that day that I felt that I needed to go to the police. He was released then arrested at the gate.
He plead guilty and believe he said something along the lines of I don’t want to put her through anymore. So, there was no trial, only a sentencing. However, after the case got transferred to out of county we did not hear anything further other than it was due to go to court. The police officer knocked on the door after the court case and apolagised about what he was about to give my mum. He gave her a piece of paper with the sentencing details on, he only had to serve a minimum of 5 years. The police officer always felt that he would have got longer if the case was heard in Cornwall but I couldn’t handle that. 5 years was not enough, it was not even the same amount of time he had taken from me. 5 years is nothing and goes by in a flash. We were all very hurt and angry. After I went to the police, I became very ill, physically and emotionally, it was as if my body had gone into shock, where it had released that thing that was stuck inside for so long. I was exhausted. We were not offered much help after and was not contacted by any victim care unit. My social worker had to fight to get me some help. She managed to get me some counselling sessions with a company called jigsaw she specialised in Child sex abuse. My therapist was called Maggie and she was lovely. I talked about as much as I wanted to at the time but it wasn’t a lot, I felt like I had already said enough and that talking more was making me unwell. I had the maximum sessions allowed (12 sessions). Maggie felt I needed a lot more help and a referral was made to CAMHS.
When I finally got an appointment with CAMHS I saw a psychiatrist for medications and a therapist to talk. I did not like either of them and you had no choice to change. I did not feel comfortable talking to these strange people so I did not engage well. It was at the CAMHS service that I was diagnosed with being clinically depressed and having PTSD. I didn’t attend there for long then referred back to my GP.
My relationships with my mum and sister really suffered after this. I had so many emotions still inside that I did not know how to cope with any of them, I was always so overwhelmed by them. I had been so numb for so many years and now to actually feel any emotion was so difficult for me I just didn’t know how to cope. Therefore, I lashed out at my mum and sister. I am so sorry for this now I didn’t mean to make their lives harder than they already was. I appreciate them more than ever for putting up with my behavior.
Other than that help it was just my mum, my sister and I just trying to muddle to get through. No help was offered to my sister who was 11 at the time I went to the police and must have been traumatised by the events, no help offered to my mum who obviously had so much guilt and blame. We just had to try and muddle together which was so hard! My mood swings were awful and unpredictable you never knew what kind of mood you were going to get if you spoke to me. This was a long struggle and continued until I moved out when I was 18. It was at this point my relationship with my mum and sister really improved and helped it mould into the great close relationship it is today. I’m so close with my sister she is my best friend. Yes, we bicker sometimes but all siblings to. My mum and I are so close, she is my rock and knows me better than anyone else.
I seeked more help when I was 21, I felt as though at this point in my life I had so much still inside that I needed to get out finally. I went to a WRASAC and received another 15 sessions of counselling, again the maximum number of sessions. I felt that this did really help this time. It was hard but I felt the pain was worth it. I thought that it would improve my depression and my ptsd and it did for a very short time however at 25 they are just as much a struggle as when I was 13 if not more so.
When I was 25, I visited my GP concerned about my moods, depression, exhaustion, flashback and more. In Cornwall they the community mental health services could only take on people in crisis. My GP felt that this was not me. I was put on more antidepressants and advised to be referred for more talking therapy, which would be just general cbt and not necessarily catered for the severe trauma I had experienced. I had tried so many different antidepressants over the years and talking therapy limited to a number of sessions only saw a tiny improvement in my moods. I shortly moved to London after this with my boyfriend and when I arrived, I contacted the local IAPT. They called me and we discussed my problems the psychiatrist agreed to accept me into the community mental health team and I now await trauma-focused CBT, I’m not sure how much it will work but I’m willing to try anything now. It’s been 10 years this year since my father was sentenced to prison for what he had done to me. This year I found out by chance he was released 2 years ago and I was not informed, not only was I not informed but I was not included in any parole talks therefore he now lived in very close proximity to family that I would visit regularly I feel now I cannot ever visit this family. He still has control over my life, after complaints being investigated it appears this is due to an administrative mistake on behalf of the police force not passing my details on to a victim care unit and the probation service not having access to other areas databases. I have been truly let down once again by the people who are supposed to protect me. This has caused my mental health to deteriorate. All the hard work I have put in, smashed. I now have to work to try and build this back up. On top of this I always have the thought that when I was younger I imagined I would feel better by this age... 10 years is a long time, however I don’t. Every day is a battle to wake up and get out of bed. The smallest tasks are tiring because I’m always having this constant mental battle with myself and I have been having it for 10 years, I’m beyond tired of fighting. I still have the smallest bit of hope that things will still get better but I must say this year has definitely made that bit of hope even smaller.
The only positive is that now I am stronger. I now have the courage to speak out about my abuse. I want there to be more education of child sex abuse, I don’t want it to be the taboo that it is. If I had known what was really happening at the young age of 6/7 I would have been more likely to have told my mum, nan or Aunty or maybe a school teacher about what had happened and could have saved years and years of assaults. This was not spoken about at school. Also there needs to be more education on safe relationships between people who are familiar including parents, children need to know what is right and wrong in parental and family relationships. This is not talked about. Awareness needs to be made. This will save our children.
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2020.08.31 18:59 WatchoutforaSerena Harry Styles Drag Race - Episode 4

Previously on Harry Styles' Drag Race: Shocking, Solid, Styles, ass, That's hot, legs, Peacock, kiss, spicy, murder! verdadeiro, VMA.
Episode 4 - The Vagina Game
The girls come back into the Werkroom. Weird lines of drawing are tangled on the mirror with a note on the bottom right. "Sorry girls, we tried to write with our other hand. :)"
(confessional) Carly: Alexa and Siri just got eliminated and I am completely over the moon. (confessional)
Carly: Bye Amazon Prime and Microsoft Grady.
Nyxtamore: I think that what just happened is a reminder that we just cannot slack on the lipsync or we will get executed.
California: That's hot.
Serena: Well talking about getting executed, Dora almost got chopped.
Dora: Well it's Harry Styles Race and I'm like a superfan so I'm gonna win, duh.
Serena: It's Drag Race, not getting your ass dragged on the race.
California: That's cold.
(confessional) Dora: Crying. I just don't understand why everyone is so mean to me. I'm just saying that they suck at their living. (confessional)
Carly: Girls, I think we should be nicer to Dora, she had a hard time in competition so far.
Dora: Thanks.
Carly: Don't worry, just don't let anyone making you think you're trash.
(confessional) Carly: Dora's Drag is trash. Her personality is trash. Her looks are trash. Her makeup is trash. Her tastes are trash. Her old grandmother dying of tuberculosis is trash. (confessional)
Yuhua: Narrates. The winner of Harry Styles Drag Race will win an autograph from Harry's mother and be cast in a gay porn threesome with one of the guys wearing a Harry Styles's mask.
Tammie: Well well, the room is getting emptier than a Trump rally. Today ladies, the mini-challenge is a "Right or Wrong." Oh, fur crew!
Furries bring paddles with Right and Wrong written on them.
Tammie: So basically, the rules of the game is that I will list some things that are said to have been found inside Michelle Visage's vestigial vagina, and you girls will have to answer Right or Wrong... Are you ready? Here it comes. Rupaul's money. Rupaul's platinum credit card. Rupaul's soul. Rupaul's fracking contracts. Aj and the Queen Season 2. A penis. A man. A woman...
The Queens choose their answer for each suggestion.
Tammie: Interesting. Serena Cha Cha, you're the only one with a 100% correct. How did you guess that only penis was the wrong answer?
Serena: Well look at her, who would top Michelle Visage?
Everyone makes a rich laugh.
Tammie: So ladies, the maxi-challenge of this week is the Vagina Game. Each of you will have to impersonate a celebrity and write your answers to some questions on condoms.
California: That's hot.
The Queens look into their supermarket bags and pull out their celebrity costumes.
Yuhua: Hey hookers, the producers told me to come in the Werkroom to shook you up with my advice thinly-veiled into passive-aggressive insults... So Granny, who did you choose?
Granny: Well when I was a child there was this famous woman called Cleopatra.
Yuhua: Oh I see, but there's one problem. Cleopatra was known to be rather young, and you're old as fuck! Yuhua walks toward Beatrix. So Mrs. Weirdo, where's your hoe?
Beatrix: Well I choose Mona Lisa.
Yuhua: Mona Lisa? You're aware that she can't talk?
Beatrix: Yeah, but it's out of the box.
Yuhua:... Yuhua walks away. So California, who's your celebrity?
California: That's hot.
Yuhua: Oh, Paris Hilton, good choice.
California: That's hot.
Yuhua: Samba, I'm scared for you girl, 'cause you can't speak in Spanish.
Samba: Eu não dou a mínima de.
Meanwhile, Carly and Dora talk to each other.
Dora: So, who you're gonna impersonate?
Carly: Carly Rae Jepsen of course, how about you?
Dora: Well I thought of doing Harry Styles.
Carly: Oh... Do you want me to write answers for you, just in case?
Dora: Really? That would be so nice!
(confessional) Carly: Smiles. Stupid bitch. (confessional)
The Snatch Vagina Game begins.
Harry: Ladies, gentlemen and non-binaries, welcome to the Vagina Game! The rules are simple, I'll ask you questions you ladies fill the blank. So, our celebrity panel today we have Serena Cha Cha!
(confessional) Serena: I choose to make a bold choice and impersonate myself. (confessional)
Serena: Hey illiterates! I'm the Drag Scholar, Serena Cha Cha, fuck ghetto language.
Harry: Next up, Harry Styles. So Harry, what's the name of your next album?
Dora: Reads one of Carly's notes. Penis.
Harry: Oookay... Right out of the Louvres, Leonardo's favorite mistress, Mona Lisa!
Beatrix: Stares blankly into the camera.
Harry: Huh. Hm. Well... Let's move on to our next celebrity Cleopatra.
Granny: Greetings, peasant.
Harry: So Cleopatra, I heard you got bit by a snake, which kind?
Granny: Three inches.
Harry: A few decades later, here's another icon of history. Marie Curie.
California: That's hot.
(confessional) Serena: California spent the day telling us how much her Marie Curie's impression was fire, but honestly... (confessional)
Harry: From the hit-show Desperate Housewives, Eva Longoria.
Samba: Hello Harry, it's a pleasure to meet you.
Harry: Wait, you speak English?
Samba: Well, my lips can speak French too. She winks.
Harry: Last but not least, Ciara!
Nyxtamore: I'm Ciara, bitches.
Harry: Let the Vagina Game begins! First question. Drag Race fans are so racist, they refuse to drink their milk with...
Dora: Reads one of Carly's notes. Semen!
California: That's hot.
Samba: Chocolate.
Nyxtamore: CIARA!
Harry:... Next question. Rupaul has lost it, he tried to frack...
Serena: Detox!
Granny: Egypt.
Beatrix: Stares blankly into the camera.
Carly: E-Mo-Tion.
The runway starts.
Harry: Today the category is How Fem Harr Ya? The Queens had to create a look based on a famous Harry. Tammie, do you know a Harry?
Tammie: Well lemme tell you something, Harry Houdini popped some rabbits out the twat of my mother's friend.
Harry: Yuhua, who's your favorite Harry?
Yuhua: Well Yuhua Harrysaki of course.
Harry: Let the main event starts!
Dora: I'm dressed as Harry Styles.
Beatrix: I decided to go out of the box again. So here I am as Harryana Grande.
Carly: Extravangzaliamus, Harry Potter is my inspiration.
Granny: I'm dressed as one of my boyfriends, Harry Truman.
Serena: It's Prince Harry for my runway, I am serving Brexit realness.
California: That's hot.
Nyxtamore: Harry Houdini fashion, abracadabra motherfuckers.
Samba: Harry Shum Jr também é latino, então não venha atrás da minha bunda linda, guerreiros da justiça social do caralho.
Harry: Serena Cha Cha, Nyxtamore, Granny Fierceness, California Thunderfuck, Beatrix Weirdo. You all represent the tops and bottoms this week.
Yuhua: So Serena, you choose to impersonate yourself during the Vagina Game, why?
Tammie: In terms of comedy, it's sucking your own flaccid dick.
Harry: Next up, Granny. First up, I wanted to say that I love your Harry Styles look.
Granny: I'm Harry Truman actually.
Yuhua: Just run with it girl.
Tammie: Fiercy, Cleopatra you know, she's a woman who had a nose. And during the maxi-challenge, I really felt like you had a nose.
Harry: Next up, California Thunderfuck.
Yuhua: Can you tell me who was your celebrity again?
California: That's hot.
Harry: Beatrix Weirdo, it's only you left.
Tammie: Who the fuck is that Harry?
Beatrix: I'm HARRYana Grande.
Yuhua: Girl, there's a d in Donald Trump and that cheap Cheeto has no balls.
Harry: Granny Fierceness, condragulations, you're winner of this week.
Yuhua: You've won an entire house made of tampons. It's great against floods.
Tammie: Nyxtamore, you're safe.
Nyxtamore: What about my critiques.
Yuhua: You look gorgeous, happy? Now fuck off!
Harry: Serena Cha Cha, you choose to do yourself, are you gonna screw yourself too?
Yuhua: Beatrix Weirdo, by trying too hard to be out of the box, you're gonna get your ass out of the competition.
Tammie: California, you're up for elimination.
Harry: You too Beatrix.
(confessional) California: That's not. (confessional)
Harry: Girls, tonight is your last chance to impress us.
Yuhua: You were tasked to lipsync to the Flight of the Bumblebee by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov.
Tammie: Good luck and remember, don't make turtles choke on plastic or you'll choke on this dick.
The song begins and Beatrix dances around while California stands still.
Serena: C'mon Cali, let's go!
Nyxtamore: Do something, Cali!
California's eyes turn and shine as bright as diamonds as she starts to levitate. Then the wigs of all the contestants are snatched and orbit around her.
Tammie: My God, I know this. She's a Teletubby from space!
Harry: California Thunderfuck, shantay you stay!
California: That's hot.
Harry: Beatrix Weirdo, sashay away.
Beatrix: walks away. Remember guys, staying true to yourself will get you on far in the competition.
Yuhua: No.
submitted by WatchoutforaSerena to RPDRfantasyseason [link] [comments]


2020.08.14 23:25 SkyBruceLee23 Penis camera inside vagina

Erika Lions had blood on her hands, literally. She just executed three men and she had one more man to kill. Erika still had to kill the man who ordered his thugs to kill Erika's family. The young woman came back from the dead a few hours ago and she had to dig herself out of her own grave. Erika could hear the summer night wind breathing through the trees in the forest.
This is where the men buried her before, amongst the tall trees in the dark woodlands. When Erika returned from the dead the second time, the men tried to kill her again and bury her in the same deep wooded area, but she came back and annihilated them before they could do anything to her. When Erika died the second time, she came back with superhuman abilities. The first ability to manifest inside of Erika after her death was invisibility. She discovered her invisible nature after one of the men she killed tried to shoot her.
Erika pounced on the man like a wild, hungry tiger after she realized that he couldn't see her anymore after unloading his 9 millimeter pistol at her. The man died unmercifully. He felt his eyeballs being ripped out of his skull and the last thing he felt was the bones in his neck getting broken apart. The second ability that manifested in Erika had something to do with self healing.
The young woman's skin would produce regenerative healing abilities after a bullet would strike her. Erika remembered dying a few hours ago. She coughed and grabbed for air after she emerged from the ground soaked in dirt. After returning from the dead a second time and killing the three men, Erika ran through the forest but she didn't feel out of breath like she did hours earlier when she exited her grave. Erika felt faster and stronger.
She could feel an unearthly fire surging through her veins. Erika couldn't stop thinking about how they murdered her child and husband. Erika became so enraptured in the thoughts of her dead husband and daughter that it took her some time to realize that her feet no longer touched the ground. The third ability manifested in Erika and it had something to do with flight. Instead of running through the forest, Erika was now soaring above the trees like an eagle. The young woman had a clear view of a full moon.
She could see the silver moonlight outlining the clouds. Before Erika was killed, she had a fear of heights. But now she has lost that fear. Taking flight toward the night sky felt natural for Erika. She kept going higher in altitude and before she knew it, she was flying at 30,000 feet beside a passenger plane. It only took Erika thirty seconds to reach 30,000 feet. The young woman flew above a passenger plane's turbine engine. She could see passengers looking out at her through the plane's windows. Erika even waved at a shocked little boy who was peering out at her through his passenger window with his little mouth gaped open. The young woman blew a kiss at the little boy before changing her direction in the sky and soaring away from the plane. Erika became one with the night sky. The woman stretched out her arms and she allowed the wind to rush over her body.
Erika only had on her bra and underwear, which meant that she could truly feel the extreme potency of the wind kissing the tattoos on her skin. Erika was half naked because the men who killed her also raped her. The men ripped off Erika's clothes. She could only salvage her bra and her panties after the rape. After watching the men shoot her husband and five year old daughter, Erika received two bullets in her head. While soaring through the clouds, Erika touched her forehead only to discover that there were no bullet holes in her skull.
All of the violating wounds on Erika's body vanished when she came back from the dead the second time. The bruises on her face and the bruises around her vagina were gone. Erika felt like a supercharged angel. She was a half naked supercharged angel who was flying through the midnight sky over the rooftops of houses and buildings. It didn't take Erika long to see the city below her.
Erika was one step closer to finding her killer. She looked down at the city and she observed the cars traveling down the city streets. Erika hovered in the sky and the cars below her looked like little mechanical ants. The city lights were distant from Erika. The city lights looked like a vast field of distant stars beneath Erika's feet.
The lights still shined up in the night sky and Erika could see the city lights dancing up her legs. The young woman studied how the city lights illuminated the scorpion tattoo on her stomach.
Erika's eyes scanned the city. She felt like a night goddess who had the world at her feet. Erika floated in the sky and her overflowing ash brown hair danced against the wind.
Images of Erika's dead daughter and husband flashed in her mind every second like strobe lights in a nightclub. Erika wanted her husband and child back. She also wanted to kill the man who took her husband and daughter away from her. Erika didn't know that men were going to break into her home and kill her and her family.
Erika was sitting on her sofa enjoying a movie with her husband and daughter when the men broke into her home. The young woman went from enjoying a movie with her little girl and husband to being on her knees with a gun pressed against the side of her head.
The men raped and murdered Erika after she watched the men's boss shoot her husband and daughter. Erika remembered the name of the man who shot her family in front of her. He was the boss over the other men and his name was Jerry Valentine. Erika never forgot Jerry's face. The young woman never forgot his sharp jawline and wide neck. She never forgot his silver pencil thin goatee and his long Roman nose. Erika never forgot Jerry's dead frost gray eyes and his crooked smile. She never forgot his satin black suit and tie. Jerry's face was the last thing Erika saw before she died.
Jerry told Erika that the killing of her family involved winning a gambling bet he made with a rival mafia kingpin. Jerry smiled down at Erika before telling her that her family's death would help him win the bet against his rival and it would also give him fifty percent of his rival's narcotic investments. After thanking Erika for helping him win his bet, the gangster kneeled down and kissed Erika on her lips before ordering one of his men to shoot her.
Vengeance fueled Erika's power. When the young woman targeted the location of Jerry's mansion, she shot down from the night sky. Erika turned her curvaceous body into a missile. The enraged woman tilted her body downward and she flew down toward the city like a supersonic skydiver.
Jerry's house was a fortress. A reinforced electrified steel wall and five security guard watchtowers surrounded Jerry's mansion. There were twenty cameras monitoring every corner of Jerry's house and he had heavily armed guards patrolling every square inch.
Jerry was making love to his girlfriend when he heard distant gunshots ringing through the air outside his mansion. The gangster didn't want to hear gunshots while making love to his girlfriend.
"What was that?" Jerry's girlfriend, Cassandra, asked through her whiny voice.
"How the hell should I know?" Jerry grumbled at his girlfriend after grabbing his gun off the living room coffee table. Jerry attempted to rise from the sofa, but his girlfriend refused to take her arms from around his neck.
Cassandra kept her arms wrapped around her boyfriend and she didn't want to lose her orgasm. The woman kept kissing on Jerry's face and she pouted when her boyfriend removed his erected manhood from her vagina.
"Wait a minute, baby! I was about to climax!" Cassandra yelled at her boyfriend after he stormed away from her with his gun clutched in his left hand.
"I heard gunfire! Did you hear gunfire!?" Jerry growled at his girlfriend while tapping his gun against the side of his naked leg. Jerry cleared his throat and he could feel his heart bamming on the inside of his bulky and hairy chest.
"It's nothing! Maybe it was fireworks!" Cassandra exclaimed through her thick Italian accent. The woman wanted to cry out in frustration after her love making with her boyfriend disintegrated at the wrong time. Cassandra's naked body shivered a little when her boyfriend gave her a murderous stare.
"It wasn't fireworks." Jerry snarled. The gangster rolled his eyes at his girlfriend and her mousy voice started to put his nerves on edge.
"You got your men outside protecting your house! You're being paranoid, baby!" Cassandra fussed at her boyfriend before releasing a disgusted sigh.
"I'm not being paranoid. Just keep your mouth shut, baby. Don't say anything else!" Jerry spoke to his girlfriend with a threatening rumble in his deep voice. The man clenched his bottom lip while glaring at his girlfriend. He continued to tap his gun against the side of his leg.
Cassandra put her bra back on when she could see that her love making hour with her boyfriend was over indefinitely. The woman smacked her lips while fastening her bra and looking around the living room for her cigarettes. Cassandra froze when she heard a male voice appear over the intercom system in the living room. Jerry had an intercom system installed in his mansion for security reasons.
"Boss, I need to come in! It's an emergency!" The stressed voice of Jerry's chief bodyguard, Marco, exited from the intercom speaker.
"What the f*ck is going on out there!?" Jerry roared at his chief bodyguard through his intercom and he tried to hide the panic in his voice.
"I can't tell you out here, Boss! I need to come in!" Marco had a raspy deep voice and some of his words were hard to make out because of his thick Cuban accent.
Jerry went near his front door. He hesitated for a minute before typing into a keypad that unlocked the door. The gangster grabbed his bodyguard by his arm and he yanked the man into his house before slamming the door behind him.
"I'm sorry, Boss. But somebody tried to break through your security detail," Marco explained before snorting and stroking his beard.
"Who the hell tried to break in? Was it one of Dino's guys?" Jerry asked intensely. He thought his rival had sent someone to kill him and his agitation caused him to squeeze Marco's arm even harder. Jerry had to look up at Marco and he kept a firm grip on the man's bulging arm.
"No, it wasn't Dino's guys. It was a woman." Marco quickly replied to his boss. The big man looked down at his boss and he watched as all the blood drained from Jerry's face.
"A woman?" Jerry's mouth fell open as he stared up at his bodyguard. "Who was the woman? Did the woman work for Dino?" Jerry grumbled out his words while in disbelief. The gangster had on no clothes and the only thing he wore was his gold chain necklace, which he kept fidgeting with.
"Yes Boss, it was a woman. We killed her before she could tell us who she was." Marco paused when his boss gave him an infuriated stare.
"Why the f*ck would you kill her!? We need to know where the enemy is coming from so we can be ready for the next attack!" Spit flew out of Jerry's mouth as he spoke vigorously. "Which one of my guys killed her! I'm gonna kill him! Did you shoot her!?" Jerry aimed his gun up at the bodyguard waiting for a wrong answer so he could pull the trigger.
Marco put both of his hands up. "I didn't shoot her, Boss. Your guy Sergio killed her." Marco explained while trying to calm down his naked boss. "We had to kill her. She came down from the sky and her body was on fire." Marco immediately saw a haze of unbelief in his boss's eyes.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Jerry scowled up at his bodyguard. "She came down from the sky? What the f*ck are you talking about? You sound crazy?" Jerry shoved his bodyguard before turning his back on the big man.
"Maybe she did come from the sky!" Cassandra slid into the conversation with a trickle of excitement in her mousy voice. Cassandra believed in aliens and her heart fluttered when Marco said that the woman came from the sky.
"Stay out of this, Cassandra!" Jerry pointed his gun at the woman while gritting his teeth.
"Why should I stay out of it!?" Cassandra yelled at her boyfriend and his gun. "I'm your f*cking girlfriend! I have a right to know what's going on too!" Cassandra watched as her boyfriend reluctantly lowered his gun while rolling his eyes at her. "Marco honey, you said the woman came from the sky? What did she look like?" Cassandra shot her questions at Marco. The woman jumped from the couch and she ran toward the tall bodyguard. She planned to take Marco by the hand so she could lead him back to the couch, but the woman stopped in her tracks when Marco's eyes flickered like two lit candles.
Marco smirked at Cassandra before reaching out and grabbing the woman by her wrist. The bodyguard pulled Cassandra toward him and he bent the woman's arm behind her back. After twisting Cassandra's arm behind her back, Marco pulled a knife out of his suit pocket and he jammed the knife into Cassandra's throat before she could even scream.
Cassandra fell to her knees after the bodyguard released her arm. The woman still had the knife sticking out of the side of her neck as she fell to the floor on her face.
Jerry still had his back turned and he was talking to himself, completely unaware of what was happening behind him. Jerry didn't know that his girlfriend was dead yet. The gangster kept mumbling to himself while scratching the bald spot on the top of his head.
When Jerry finally turned around he was face to face with Erika. The young woman jammed the knife into the man's genitals before he could say anything. Jerry released a squeaky gasp when he felt the blade slice through his penis. The gangster wanted to scream but nothing came out. He dropped his gun before falling to his knees. Within a few minutes, Jerry found himself on his knees looking up at a gorgeous young black woman with fiery starlit eyes.
"This is for what you did to my daughter," Erika softly spoke down to Jerry before jamming the knife into the man's left shoulder.
Jerry cried out for the first time and the man screamed so harshly that he sounded like a woman. The gangster could do nothing but scream for mercy and he watched as Erika twisted the knife after jamming it into his shoulder. Jerry couldn't believe that he was being stabbed to death by a ghost. The man thought he was having a nightmare at first until he felt the knife in his shoulder and felt the unspeakable pain.
"This is for my husband," Erika continued to speak softly as she brought the knife down on Jerry's right shoulder. The young woman twisted the knife before removing the blade from the man's shoulder.
Jerry almost fainted from the pain and he looked up at Erika through his teary eyes. The gangster couldn't talk but you could see the pleading tears in his eyes. Jerry knew that the tears in his eyes didn't move the young woman. He could see a thirst for blood in Erika's eyes.
"This is for killing me!" Erika yelled at Jerry for the first time before driving the knife straight into the man's throat.
Jerry gargled on his blood as he stared into Erika's eyes. He couldn't swallow his blood because the blade of the knife severed his esophagus. Jerry was choking on his blood along with the knife that was lodged in his throat. The gangster tried to hang on to the last ounce of his life and he crazily thought he could survive after Erika shoved the knife into his throat. Jerry still thought he was looking up at a ghost or maybe the angel of death. It spooked Jerry to see a woman he killed standing over him with his gun in her hand.
Erika kneeled down in front of Jerry. The woman peered into Jerry's teary eyes for a minute before leaning forward and kissing the dying man on his lips. She slowly stood back up, aiming the gun down at the man's head. Erika pulled the trigger and she forced a bullet into Jerry's skull. Erika no longer heard Jerry gurgling and choking on his own blood. The night goddess administered pain to the mafia gangster and she obliterated the man's skull with a single bullet. Erika killed all of Jerry's men and her final power gave her the ability to shape-shift. She could now transform her body into any man or woman if she chose to, including a young 23 year old man named Marco Lopez, who was Jerry's chief bodyguard.
submitted by SkyBruceLee23 to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]


2020.08.04 15:05 Bright_Newspaper_648 Vagina camera inside penis

So, I met this girl on a dating app recently and we can't meet because of the current situation, so we've started doing some skype masturbation sessions (it's kinda amazing, actually)...
We both like to talk a lot about orgasms and sex physiology so I asked her why she always remove fingers/toy from her vagina before orgasm and she said that it's because anything inside her during orgasm makes her contractions less intense...
I know everyone is different, but I've always seen girls take the toy out before orgasm in porn and I always thought that it was just a porn move so that contractions could be better captured in camera, but I've started thinking otherwise now...
I was hoping the fine people with vaginas from this subreddit could share their opinions on this matter:
What is your opinion on fingers/toy/penis inside your vagina during orgasm?
submitted by Bright_Newspaper_648 to sex [link] [comments]


2020.07.15 00:10 unsilent_bob Penis camera inside vagina

I'm still trying to piece together the sequence of events in this case and it's primarily because of conflicting information regarding the rape of Dr. Debra Manning before her murder.
First off, I was always under the impression that Manning wasn't raped. It made sense in witness descriptions of the gunshots heard (which were mistaken for pre-New Year's Eve firecrackers). There was a single shot, a short pause and then a few shots in rapid succession. Then, a minute or so later, a single gunshot.
Here you could definitely see a panicked JJD, knowing these were condos quite close to each other and his brutal homicide has most likely been heard, immediately leaving the premises before presumed police arrival.
So it appears this was a situation where JJD was doing his usual EAR routine - "shut up or I'll kill you, I'm only hear to get money for my van & some food" to keep them compliant, throws out pre-tied ligatures, forces the female to tie the male first and then ties her, etc - but Dr. Offerman got his ties loose and then took a chance at attacking JJD. He shot Offerman immediately and then again a few more times to make sure he was dead and then the single gunshot to the back of Dr. Manning's head to "eliminate any witnesses".
This sequence is even reinforced with statements like "Dr. Manning had not been sexually assaulted" in the Winters/Komos book and Quester also says on his EARONS website that " He immediately executed Manning— thus he had no time to ransack or rape— stole the neighbor’s bike and rode away quickly. "
But during the JJD guilty plea hearing on June 29, 2020 it appears a new official timeline has been established as stated by Sacramento County Deputy District Attorney Amy Holliday (quoted directly from the hearing transcript):
"The defendant found Robert and Debra asleep in bed. He tied both their wrists with white nylon cord, inserted his penis into Debra’s vagina without her consent and raped her. After raping her, the defendant fired his handgun into the back of Debra’s head. The bullet entered the back of her head and lodged in her brain. The defendant left Debra lying face down on the bed with her arms behind her back and her wrists bound with the white nylon cord. When the defendant fired this fatal shot, he did so unlawfully and with malice of forethought. The defendant’s decision to kill Debra Manning was willful, deliberate, and premeditated as evidenced by him firing his handgun at a vital part of Debra’s body as she lay with her hands bound."
"Robert was able to remove the bindings from his wrists and stood to confront the defendant. The defendant fired his handgun four times at Robert. Three bullets hit Robert. The first struck his lower neck and upper right chest and exited through his upper right back. As he started to fall, a second bullet struck Robert in the upper left chest area, lacerating his aorta, penetrating his right lung, and lodged in the right side of his chest. This was a lethal wound. A third bullet struck Robert in the left, lower back area and exited through his left buttocks. The defendant then fired a fourth bullet, but missed Robert and it lodged in the clothes dresser. Robert was found on the floor of the master bedroom with the nylon cord clutched in his left hand. "
"When the defendant fired at Robert, he did so unlawfully and with malice of forethought. The defendant’s decision to kill Robert Offerman was willful, deliberate and premeditated as evidenced by firing multiple gunshots at vital parts of Robert’s body. The defendant rummaged through the refrigerator at Robert’s home and ate leftover turkey he found wrapped in plastic. A discarded turkey bone was located just inside the sliding glass door where the defendant broke into the home, and a plastic bag containing scraps of cooked Turkey was found on the patio, just outside that same sliding glass door. "
"The defendant stole a Minolta pocket camera and a doctor’s medical bag from the home. The defendant also broke into an adjoining condominium, which was vacant at the time. He left similar nylon cord as the kind he used to tie Debra and Robert’s wrists in the master bedroom and bathroom next door. The defendant also left similar nylon cord on the patio of another nearby condominium."
But this "official" sequence of events strains credulity. JJD fires off 5 gunshots in a small condo community and then hangs around to eat turkey and then steal a camera & doctor's bag? Perhaps the Asst DA wasn't explicitly stating that lingering around was after the murders but was just done during the attack at some point?
From the latest revelations, I see the sequence being closer to the following...

  1. JJD wakes the couple up and does his EAR bit with the threats and gets them both tied up.
  2. He then rapes Dr. Manning - in front of Offerman I'm guessing which would be a bit of a switch up from from his Sacramento attacks where the female is taken into a different room - and then decides to go rummaging some, though not ransacking to keep his MO different from those same Sacramento attacks, and finds the camera & bag.
  3. He goes to the fridge and decides to eat some Christmas leftovers and enjoys the turkey so much he puts it on a patio table on the back porch to take with him when he leaves.
  4. He then returns to the bedroom to rape Manning again (like he did in multiple Sacramento attacks) and by that point Offerman has quietly and stealthily wrestled with his bindings enough where he's free and is gonna take his chance when JJD begins his second attack.
  5. When Offerman raises up, JJD quickly shoots him repeatedly but now knows the scene has spiraled out of his control and he must leave quickly.
  6. He murders Manning to leave no witnesses, no possible sketch to distribute, and a crime scene that local police will most like consider a botched burglary gone horribly and tragically awry.
The official record now states that Dr. Debra Manning was sexually assaulted the night she was murdered and I assume that is through a DNA match with JJD's semen either found during the autopsy or possibly on bedding that was later analyzed. Then again, this could be from a confession from JJD himself during the preliminary interviews to grant him his guilty pleas.
But this is definitely newer information - or at least it is to me - and one aspect that may also explain the change is something mentioned on Sunday's I'll Be Gone In The Dark episode.....
In the late-70s/early-80s, Santa Barbara and it's surrounding areas were a boom town for real estate. The Reagans lived right up the road and Ronnie was close to announcing his 1980 Presidential bid. The local sheriff's department was a known tight-lipped organization that didn't discuss cases much at all with the press or public - especially violent crimes like rape & murder. The former Santa Barbara detective Kim Stewart even states on the show that there were numerous prowlings, burglaries and sexual assaults that occurred in the area but were never reported in the papers to maintain this visage of safe, peaceful suburbia that was the perfect escape from the dangers of big city Los Angeles.
I'm thinking the police there always knew that Manning was raped but that fact was kept out of the press for the "PR angle" and thus has always been ambiguous.
Now the prosecution obviously had either evidence proving there was a rape or a confession stating there was one and presented it as such in court.
Just wondering if anyone else has reconsidered what exactly happened on that late-December night in Goleta or will it simply always be a mystery.
submitted by unsilent_bob to EARONS [link] [comments]


2020.07.13 22:33 Colonelbuzzard Inside vagina camera penis

I fucked a Dolphin
So I work for an aquarium/sea attraction place in Canada and a thing you have to do every few days with dolphins is that I have to collect urine and fecal samples. This usually requires three people at first to hold the dolphin over and flip them so that their backsides are up for the newer dolphins.
You all should know that dolphins are really fucking smart. they have sex recreationally like humans. They also recognize faces and respond to names. In this case, I was paired with a female dolphin named Yufa (that's what she responded to). I worked evening shifts and got really attached to her to the point that she really played around with me a lot. So one day, I'm doing the sampling process on my own and begin petting Yufa's belly as she is turned around. What's amazing about a dolphin's vagina is how you know that it's in heat because its erogenous areas start to turn a shade of red against their grey and white skin. No one was around at the times and there aren't many cameras in the back areas where the dolphins are placed after-hours. I got really attached to Yufa and she would keep pulling on my wetsuit which is what she did to play around except I noticed that her vagina was turning red. Against my better judgement, I pulled my pants down, flipped Yufa over, and rubbed her red area with my cock. She soon made a little purring thing and I decided that it was time. I got into the water, swimming with my erection just hanging out there, and she was swimming upside down slowly, I decided to place my penis inside her wet, slimy area.
With the cold water contrasting with the inside of Yufa, I felt her vagina wrapping around my cock, I kept thrusting slowly until I eventually cummed inside of Yufa. I dunno about the constant orgasm thing but I only came once. It only came to a few seconds later when I realized I had just fucked a dolphin.
submitted by Colonelbuzzard to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.06.19 18:23 nxvh666 Credits to u/Delicious-Hot-Dog

The scene opens up.
A buff, beef stack of a man is walking around in just a towel.
He goes to turn on the shower, but there's no water!
There's a giggle from behind him, and it's his step-sister wearing just a towel.
She's holding some sort of pipe wrench. She turned off the water.
She smiles and then yanks off his towel, but he has no penis!
He smiles back and yanks off her towel, and she has two penises!
Both penises fall off!
They both look at the camera and shrug.
Zoom out. and it's a girl playing with barbie dolls and the penises are made of chewed gum.
She throws the toys in frustration and calls for her dad.
He comes upstairs wearing just a towel.
She complains that her toys don't have penises.
The dad shakes his head and frowns. Then he says, "You're too old to be playing with dolls..."
The girl looks in the mirror and she's actually in her mid-thirties.
She's wearing just a towel.
Her dad giggles. He's actually her step-sister.
The step-sister yanks off her towel.
She's got a really big penis and it's getting bigger
She yanks off her step-sister's towel and step-sister disappears.
She's alone with her giant penis.
She looks around and it's not a bedroom, it's an empty mattress store.
Mattresses stretch infinitely in all directions, all uniform and neatly placed.
She panics and starts running.
She trips over her giant wobbling penis that easily reaches to the floor now.
She lands on a mattress and falls through it.
It's actually a pool!
She floats safely, wondering what happened to her dad and her step-sister.
Without looking, she reaches down to stroke her giant penis.
It's moving.
It's an anaconda!
It swallows her whole.
She's travelling through the snake, picking up speed.
The fleshy walls turn into hard plastic.
She's in a slide and picking up more and more speed.
She's pops out the other end into a playground.
Moms swarm and attack her.
She reaches up to block the assault with her buff, beef stack forearms.
She's actually a grown man!
He's wearing just a towel.
He easily beats up all the moms and their kids run away screaming.
He sees an action figure that one of the kids dropped.
It's him!
The action figure is wearing just a towel.
He's nervous and hesitant, but he yanks off the toy's towel.
His towel yanks off at the same time.
Now naked, he looks down.
His penis is his step-sister's head!
They lock eyes and scream.
She's still screaming and the realizes she's not attached to her step-brother, she's buried in sand.
She's in the middle of the beach.
The tide is rising with every crashing wave.
Sea foam hits her chin and starts filling her mouth.
A gull lands next to her, huge.
They glare at each other.
The gull grabs her by the head and yanks her from the sand.
The rest of her body is a penis!
The gull flies off and accidentally drops her.
She falls his a slippery beach side rock and hits her head.
She grabs her head with her hand.
She has hands now.
She's in the shower. She slipped in the shower.
She's wearing just a towel.
Her buff, beef stack step-brother walks in holding a pipe wrench.
He's wearing just a towel.
She's scared.
He yanks off his towel. His penis is a pipe valve.
He uses the pipe wrench to open the valve.
The shower water gushes out, filling up the shower.
She can't open the sliding glass doors.
He towel comes off.
Her vagina is a bathtub plug.
She uncorks it and the water drains into her.
Her step-brother gasps.
She's laugh maniacally.
He watches the water swirl away.
He stares into the tub as water drains until its gone.
Fingers snap behind his ear.
A woman in her late 40's asks, "Did you fix my tub?"
She's wearing just a towel.
He gets back to his buff, beef stack feet and tell her, "Yes, it's fixed"
She giggles.
He giggles.
She giggles more.
He giggles and put his pipe wrench back on his tool belt.
She tells him she doesn't have any cash.
He asks for a credit card.
She giggles.
He giggles.
She suggests that maybe there's an arrangement that can be worked out.
She giggles.
He giggles and extra giggles, dropping his tool belt.
She slowly opens up her towel.
Inside are two machine guns!
She grabs both of them and blasts him away, unloading every bullet she has.
He towel drops to the ground.
She's naked and young.
She winks at the camera.
End.
submitted by nxvh666 to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.06.08 07:53 cheesecoverdchildren I Fucked a Dolphin

So I work for an aquarium/sea attraction place in Canada and a thing you have to do every few days with dolphins is that I have to collect urine and fecal samples. This usually requires three people at first to hold the dolphin over and flip them so that their backsides are up for the newer dolphins.

You all should know that dolphins are really fucking smart. They have sex recreationally like humans. They also recognize faces and respond to names. In this case, I was paired with a female dolphin named Yufa (that's what she responded to). I worked evening shifts and got really attached to her to the point that she really played around with me a lot. So one day, I'm doing the sampling process on my own and begin petting Yufa's belly as she is turned around. What's amazing about a dolphin's vagina is how you know that it's in heat because its erogenous areas start to turn a shade of red against their grey and white skin. No one was around at the times and there aren't many cameras in the back areas where the dolphins are placed after-hours. I got really attached to Yufa and she would keep pulling on my wetsuit which is what she did to play around except I noticed that her vagina was turning red. Against my better judgement, I pulled my pants down, flipped Yufa over, and rubbed her red area with my cock. She soon made a little purring thing and I decided that it was time. I got into the water, swimming with my erection just hanging out there, and she was swimming upside down slowly, I decided to place my penis inside her wet, slimy area.

With the cold water contrasting with the inside of Yufa, I felt her vagina wrapping around my cock, I kept thrusting slowly until I eventually cummed inside of Yufa. I dunno about the constant orgasm thing but I only came once. It only came to a few seconds later when I realized I had just fucked a dolphin.
submitted by cheesecoverdchildren to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.03.16 18:45 fractalfay Penis camera inside vagina

Is everyone properly positioned in a fortress of toilet paper and hand sanitizer for nearly 90 minutes of hollow romance? Fuck yeah, quarantine!
As always, I’ll neglect to comment on 90DF’s hazmat-demanding human plague, other than to note that nipple tattoos are a sign of full-body asshole infection. It’s also my latest entry in the Douchepedia, right between ‘Naming Your Comb Because That’s Normal’ and ‘Not a Reason to Be Jealous, But I Planned This’.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Surface Hell, Nigeria, Lisa wakes up next to her ‘destiny’ after a long night of penis gobbling. She smashes her face into Usman’s, while he insists he wants to sleep until this isn’t a nightmare. But Lisa has jet lag, so he’s going to have to rise and start getting used to his world revolving around her. The afterglow couldn’t be dimmer.
Lisa summons her inner Laura, and says that sex is different in Nigeria, and she was shocked to discover an unexpected resistance to going truffle hunting in her 19-hour jeans-baked travel clam. Usman described the encounter as “70% good of what I expected, and that’s enough.” This gives her a low C for people who haven’t been in school for awhile, and 30% of Usman definitely needs to talk to someone.
While pawing through the drugstore she packed in her suitcase, Lisa unearths condoms for slut people, and they chuckle over the possibility of using them, because the best way to ward of STIs is to openly mock them. Lisa then asks how his first bareback ride went, and Usman’s face suggests he’s been to many, many rodeos, and Lisa was just his first old town road.
The doomed duo then ventures out to meet the yahoo boys for breakfast, and they mention Usman’s mom doesn’t like white folks, and thinks Lisa’s trying to make Usman her slave, because she is. Lisa is baffled to learn that Africans are distrustful of white folks; I mean, things got weird like 400 years ago, and since then Obama was elected and Miley Cyrus twerked without an ass, so isn’t there equality now? Lisa should be able to convince his mom of her pure intentions by either bullying or gloating, which are her only two routes of operation, and if those don’t work, she’ll remind us he’s a celebrity.
When Lisa insists they’ll be married with or without approval, Usman’s yahoo boys look at him in yahoo horror, and Usman walks it back to a decision that will arrive with a spontaneous fit of wisdom, that will just coincidentally be whatever his mom suggests. Nice. I’m using this. Usman confesses to the producers that he lied about being indifferent to his mom’s approval, or maybe wasn’t banking on it until he was feeling D+ devoted. Lisa flounces away, because she still hasn’t noticed she’s in a different country with different cultural norms, and that her yahoo boy is not flouncing after her. This is very on-brand for someone baffled that their likeness wasn’t projected onto the moon for Usman’s video shoot.
Back at the hotel Lisa is packing her hodgepodge suitcase of brown shoes and mullet dresses to travel to Usman’s modest apartment. As they get in the car his phone vibrates away, while Lisa furiously pets her teddy bear gift in hopes of rubbing it to life so she can stuff it with dynamite and send it on a suicide mission to destroy Usman’s female fans. “He has too many followers,” she tells the bear, newly named InstaGrammie. “His career will be a lot more successful if no one is listening to his music. I know things, InstaGrammie. I know.”
Finally they arrive at Usman’s Yahoo Hut of two rooms and a bucket shower, which is luxury to Nigerian bachelors and anyone working in San Francisco. Lisa is shocked to discover those 22K instagram followers didn’t heart-button a mansion into existence, and this is not what she expects from a celebrity trolling online communities for a middle-aged woman. “Thank God we’re staying at a hotel,” Lisa declares, since she’s used to living the high life of body waxing, sugary drinks, and last gasp suitcases. Meanwhile, Usman expresses his discomfort to his friends, and says that she’s even more controlling in person, and doesn’t seem likely to respect his career, which greatly decreases the likelihood of him convincing his mom she’s not looking for a slave.
If we’re going to go Paul, I don’t want Paul Lite, I want Paul 151, because he’s the only one who can be calmer than you are at the reunion after running into the jungle in flip flops with hair in his pocket and a producer hot on his trail. Instead, we’ve got Big Ed, aka Little Paul, prepping for the romantic interrogation of his dearly beloved. He asks for two beds in the hotel room so their genitals can be separated by space, time, logic, and a fortress of condoms and contraceptive foam. Sadly, this has nothing to do with respect; it’s about plans to humiliate her with an on-camera STI test, because he “wants to know he can trust her,” and chlamydia is a sign of betrayal, I guess. If I hadn’t had sex in 28 years, my concern would be whether I was capable of rocking out with my cock out now that the energy and libido of being 22 are but a distant memory, but Ed probably sees sex like a White Snake video, where he’s the car and Rose is the writhing redhead, who remains enthusiastic despite the fact that the engine isn’t even on.
Anyway, Rose mentions that she doesn’t speak English that well, but Ed keeps talking to her, and there’s only so many times she can smile and tilt her head, and wonder if he’s ever going to ask her any questions about herself that don’t sound like accusations. Spoiler alert: he’s not. Ed gives her a San Diego T-shirt to sleep in, and feels bad that she didn’t bring pajamas, and never thinks for a second that this is because she wasn’t anticipating staying at a hotel. Again: that requires asking questions.
Ed brushes his teeth, and opts to prolong his last mayo application by not showering. Apparently me, Jasmin, and Avery are the only people who want to break open a fire hydrant or walk through a human car wash after getting off the sky bullet of stank. Rose tells the producers she’s going to pretend to be asleep so Big Ed can fuck right off, and when he says “goodnight my queen” she responds with: “This is a snore.” Aced it.
The next day Ed wakes up and makes gerbil noises on Rose’s neck, before ordering room service and listening to Rose’s complaints that the room is too cold. I’m on Ed’s side here. Rose is wrong. Then Rose and Ed’s anxiety get into a taxi and head to a market, where Ed declares his intention to take her shopping, but not before he asks if she’s excited he’s in the “Phil-A-PEEEEENS!” This is officially a realistic first date.
At the market he spots some pajamas, and announces his presence to shop-owners with the official 90DF greeting: “Does anyone here speak English?” Rose takes it upon herself to pull the appropriate bills from Ed’s open wallet, likely in response to him saying, “I don’t even know how much that is.” Instead of seeing this as a speedy response to articulated confusion in an environment where a gaping wallet is a bad idea, he takes offense. After a few more purchases and a thoroughly soaked sweaty shirt, Ed whines that he’s hot and needs to be back in air conditioning.
“Have you considered an ice pack vest,” Paul interjects. “And yes, I have an entire basement full of TP in preparation for coronavirus. I’m not going to tell you how many weapons I have, because that could make me a target. In fact, this isn’t Paul. This camouflage means you can’t see me. What’s that over there?” (Running sound.)
Meanwhile, Avery has deplaned and is ready to meet single-ladies trafficker Ash, and she’s nervous about being a stinky hag for their intro. Lucky for her, I can smell the sandalwood on Ash through the tv screen, so between that and her aura of honeycomb and stardust they should be fine. They happily greet each other and declare their initial physical interaction “natural” (not gonna lie, it made me smile).
They head to their AirBnB, and in the car Ash reports that her hands are so “nurturing” which prompts a giggle from Avery, before she retorts that his hands are soft, and he says it’s because all he does it wack it and dunk it in the ocean. She laughs at this, but Ash presents no indication that he’s joking unless the punchline is his pants. Is this what she means by Ash knowing the right things to say? Because he’s at the front of my Douchepedia, under ‘Cult Leader for Vagina’.
Ash shares an apartment with his brother, but said brother doesn’t want Avery to stay there, because she might trip over Ash’s other girlfriends. This makes Avery reasonably suspicious, so she says the bed large enough for her to starfish is hers, and Ash can shove those two twin beds together and fuck the slot in between, until their spirits agree with their genitals. I’m really starting to like Avery. Ash is disappointed in this, but recovers immediately, because as a relationship coach he knows that women are all the same, and will fuck him eventually.
The long box he snagged from his favorite florist to have beers with contains long-stemmed black roses, which she loves because they remind her of how dead inside 90DF viewers are (so?), and he chases this with a fond token commemorating that time she ghosted him. Apparently he posted his-and-her ‘Avery Loves Ash’ bracelets on THE GRAM, and Avery thought that was so cringe that she grabbed Lisa’s InstaGrammie bear and screamed into its stomach. I’d have a similar reaction, but my concept of romance is my boyfriend rubbing a potato on my back to banish a lung disease, so yeah, I‘d better sit this one out. They talk about this, and how she wasn’t ready “accept his love,” but she’s seriously considering it now that she’s on a TV show.
Finally we meet MMmmMmmmmmMM David, the glorious human I’ve been eagerly anticipating since the first preview. David is on the brink of retiring after a successful tech career, and is RV shopping so he can travel the country with his kitty copilot, Mothra. He has to sell a lot of stuff to accommodate a nomadic existence, but intends to cling tightly to his collection of unicycles. Can this guy be my uncle? David, you’re my uncle now. Also, I’m setting you up with Yolanda, if I can recover her from Manchester, ASP.
The Ukrainian woman conning him is Lana, whom you might remember from the time she went by Maria, and they’ve been chatting online up to four hours a day for seven years. She’s stood him for every one of their in-person meetings, because like a lot of people on this show, emergencies and illnesses happen right before air travel. David explains that he’s had a Slavic-lady fetish since his prepubescent wanking to Boris and Natasha, and is okay with spending $100K talking to a fantasy online through an expensive translation site, because he doesn’t feel lonely, and that makes him think it’s a good investment. This might be the most honest answer in the history of this show.
He meets up with friends Dave and Victoria, who confirm David’s wealth by how they carry themselves and the way they express concern for his emotional well-being, but not his finances. Victoria is also Ukrainian, and met Dave on a dating site, but Victoria says that she paid for this herself, and that women over 25 still looking for a man in the Ukraine are hunting for suckers. David is not persuaded by this argument, and his bank account just doesn’t care, and I’m fully on board with David’s comfortable dismissal of logic and evidence.
The site and chat service he uses to communicate with Lana doesn’t allow video interaction unless he’s willing to surrender additional cash, at which point they’ll dust off Maria and have her smile and call him husband. He takes his laptop to a park to chat with her, and get the details of their upcoming meeting in Odessa. He asks how he’ll be able to identify her, and she says she’ll be wearing a blue dress, and hiding under her invisible train ticket. If David smells a rat he doesn’t much care, and is pleased when she sends him a devilish emoji, which he explains is code for THE SEX, a subject that often comes up when he wonders about train tickets. “And I responded MmmmMMmmMMM,” he narrates, and my favorite character since Jihoon has been Frankenstein’d to life.
Later he calls his friend Anya in Ukraine. He met her during his last round of perusing a Ukrainian wifey, and she was a little too shy for David, but they’ve remained good friends…and yet the reason he hasn’t met Lana is that she’s “too shy” for the airport? Okay then. Instead of seeing this as Cesar part 2, I’m going to craft a storyline where Anya is actually Lana, drawing David into a polyamory plot with her current husband. Instead, Anya think he’s naïve for thinking someone who refuses to meet with him after seven years is a solid romantic prospect, and our best bet is the potential for Anya to introduce him to a female friend in fleshy form.
In Yonkers, Stephanie arranges her dogs on her bed to call Erica and her lip injections. She confesses to Erica that she described her as a friend to her family, and Erica goes quiet but doesn’t question it. Erica reports Friday night plans to watch the football final, and Stephanie is jealous because she has no plans, except eating some cheese and watching a movie. This doesn’t inspire giggles or affirmation that this is a solid COVID-19 plan, and that bright light on the horizon is The Doom.
Later, Stephanie packs up, and shows her friend Heather the gifts she got Erica. Stephanie’s gift game is solid, and she reveals a pricey purse she scored that matches Erica’s style so well that I’ll refrain from predictable pumpkin spice commentary. Heather is concerned that Stephanie is all-in already, and Erica won’t be able to drop everything to accommodate Stephanie’s limited lifestyle. She suspects that Stephanie’s eagerness has to do with her mortality awareness, which is underscored by the pharmacy she’s cramming into a suitcase.
Once at the airport, Stephanie reveals that she’ll have to wear a mask to protect herself, and pulls out this sad, scratchy paper mask that she doesn’t really wear in the airport, or on the plane. I have questions, and want to send her a Vogmask as soon as they’re back in production so she can be on trend. Then she can look more like she got lost on the way to the rave, and less like a biohazard waiting to spill onto the runway.
Speaking of biohazards, Darcey, Stacey, and Raina all head to the spa, because that’s what the Kardashians would do. Darcey doesn’t know what the status of her relationship is, because Tom has expressed total indifference, but she hasn’t received any notarized paperwork in triplicate, so it’s all up in the air for Darcey. She calls Tom’s escort a “Darcey lookalike,” and oh honey, no. Instead of addressing the new hand-holster being paraded on THE GRAM directly, she lets all his messages go unanswered, because she needs that scene in New York to happen. Raina chimes in that this relationship is “fucking crazy” and something tells me she says that 30 times a day, and it usually has something to do with Darcey.
Next week Steph meets Erica, MayoMan asks for an STI test, a convicted felon pretends to not be collecting foreign-born spouses to beat, Yolanda wastes our time, Avery meets Ash’s strangely suspicious brother, who looks like a smoking hot villain, Lisa’s campaign of delusion reaches a music video apex, and David happily greets Anya at the airport (and we’re teased that this is Lana).
Thank you, generous Patreon supporters!
submitted by fractalfay to 90dayfianceuncensored [link] [comments]


2020.03.16 18:44 fractalfay Penis camera inside vagina

Is everyone properly positioned in a fortress of toilet paper and hand sanitizer for nearly 90 minutes of hollow romance? Fuck yeah, quarantine!
As always, I’ll neglect to comment on 90DF’s hazmat-demanding human plague, other than to note that nipple tattoos are a sign of full-body asshole infection. It’s also my latest entry in the Douchepedia, right between ‘Naming Your Comb Because That’s Normal’ and ‘Not a Reason to Be Jealous, But I Planned This’.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Surface Hell, Nigeria, Lisa wakes up next to her ‘destiny’ after a long night of penis gobbling. She smashes her face into Usman’s, while he insists he wants to sleep until this isn’t a nightmare. But Lisa has jet lag, so he’s going to have to rise and start getting used to his world revolving around her. The afterglow couldn’t be dimmer.
Lisa summons her inner Laura, and says that sex is different in Nigeria, and she was shocked to discover an unexpected resistance to going truffle hunting in her 19-hour jeans-baked travel clam. Usman described the encounter as “70% good of what I expected, and that’s enough.” This gives her a low C for people who haven’t been in school for awhile, and 30% of Usman definitely needs to talk to someone.
While pawing through the drugstore she packed in her suitcase, Lisa unearths condoms for slut people, and they chuckle over the possibility of using them, because the best way to ward of STIs is to openly mock them. Lisa then asks how his first bareback ride went, and Usman’s face suggests he’s been to many, many rodeos, and Lisa was just his first old town road.
The doomed duo then ventures out to meet the yahoo boys for breakfast, and they mention Usman’s mom doesn’t like white folks, and thinks Lisa’s trying to make Usman her slave, because she is. Lisa is baffled to learn that Africans are distrustful of white folks; I mean, things got weird like 400 years ago, and since then Obama was elected and Miley Cyrus twerked without an ass, so isn’t there equality now? Lisa should be able to convince his mom of her pure intentions by either bullying or gloating, which are her only two routes of operation, and if those don’t work, she’ll remind us he’s a celebrity.
When Lisa insists they’ll be married with or without approval, Usman’s yahoo boys look at him in yahoo horror, and Usman walks it back to a decision that will arrive with a spontaneous fit of wisdom, that will just coincidentally be whatever his mom suggests. Nice. I’m using this. Usman confesses to the producers that he lied about being indifferent to his mom’s approval, or maybe wasn’t banking on it until he was feeling D+ devoted. Lisa flounces away, because she still hasn’t noticed she’s in a different country with different cultural norms, and that her yahoo boy is not flouncing after her. This is very on-brand for someone baffled that their likeness wasn’t projected onto the moon for Usman’s video shoot.
Back at the hotel Lisa is packing her hodgepodge suitcase of brown shoes and mullet dresses to travel to Usman’s modest apartment. As they get in the car his phone vibrates away, while Lisa furiously pets her teddy bear gift in hopes of rubbing it to life so she can stuff it with dynamite and send it on a suicide mission to destroy Usman’s female fans. “He has too many followers,” she tells the bear, newly named InstaGrammie. “His career will be a lot more successful if no one is listening to his music. I know things, InstaGrammie. I know.”
Finally they arrive at Usman’s Yahoo Hut of two rooms and a bucket shower, which is luxury to Nigerian bachelors and anyone working in San Francisco. Lisa is shocked to discover those 22K instagram followers didn’t heart-button a mansion into existence, and this is not what she expects from a celebrity trolling online communities for a middle-aged woman. “Thank God we’re staying at a hotel,” Lisa declares, since she’s used to living the high life of body waxing, sugary drinks, and last gasp suitcases. Meanwhile, Usman expresses his discomfort to his friends, and says that she’s even more controlling in person, and doesn’t seem likely to respect his career, which greatly decreases the likelihood of him convincing his mom she’s not looking for a slave.
If we’re going to go Paul, I don’t want Paul Lite, I want Paul 151, because he’s the only one who can be calmer than you are at the reunion after running into the jungle in flip flops with hair in his pocket and a producer hot on his trail. Instead, we’ve got Big Ed, aka Little Paul, prepping for the romantic interrogation of his dearly beloved. He asks for two beds in the hotel room so their genitals can be separated by space, time, logic, and a fortress of condoms and contraceptive foam. Sadly, this has nothing to do with respect; it’s about plans to humiliate her with an on-camera STI test, because he “wants to know he can trust her,” and chlamydia is a sign of betrayal, I guess. If I hadn’t had sex in 28 years, my concern would be whether I was capable of rocking out with my cock out now that the energy and libido of being 22 are but a distant memory, but Ed probably sees sex like a White Snake video, where he’s the car and Rose is the writhing redhead, who remains enthusiastic despite the fact that the engine isn’t even on.
Anyway, Rose mentions that she doesn’t speak English that well, but Ed keeps talking to her, and there’s only so many times she can smile and tilt her head, and wonder if he’s ever going to ask her any questions about herself that don’t sound like accusations. Spoiler alert: he’s not. Ed gives her a San Diego T-shirt to sleep in, and feels bad that she didn’t bring pajamas, and never thinks for a second that this is because she wasn’t anticipating staying at a hotel. Again: that requires asking questions.
Ed brushes his teeth, and opts to prolong his last mayo application by not showering. Apparently me, Jasmin, and Avery are the only people who want to break open a fire hydrant or walk through a human car wash after getting off the sky bullet of stank. Rose tells the producers she’s going to pretend to be asleep so Big Ed can fuck right off, and when he says “goodnight my queen” she responds with: “This is a snore.” Aced it.
The next day Ed wakes up and makes gerbil noises on Rose’s neck, before ordering room service and listening to Rose’s complaints that the room is too cold. I’m on Ed’s side here. Rose is wrong. Then Rose and Ed’s anxiety get into a taxi and head to a market, where Ed declares his intention to take her shopping, but not before he asks if she’s excited he’s in the “Phil-A-PEEEEENS!” This is officially a realistic first date.
At the market he spots some pajamas, and announces his presence to shop-owners with the official 90DF greeting: “Does anyone here speak English?” Rose takes it upon herself to pull the appropriate bills from Ed’s open wallet, likely in response to him saying, “I don’t even know how much that is.” Instead of seeing this as a speedy response to articulated confusion in an environment where a gaping wallet is a bad idea, he takes offense. After a few more purchases and a thoroughly soaked sweaty shirt, Ed whines that he’s hot and needs to be back in air conditioning.
“Have you considered an ice pack vest,” Paul interjects. “And yes, I have an entire basement full of TP in preparation for coronavirus. I’m not going to tell you how many weapons I have, because that could make me a target. In fact, this isn’t Paul. This camouflage means you can’t see me. What’s that over there?” (Running sound.)
Meanwhile, Avery has deplaned and is ready to meet single-ladies trafficker Ash, and she’s nervous about being a stinky hag for their intro. Lucky for her, I can smell the sandalwood on Ash through the tv screen, so between that and her aura of honeycomb and stardust they should be fine. They happily greet each other and declare their initial physical interaction “natural” (not gonna lie, it made me smile).
They head to their AirBnB, and in the car Ash reports that her hands are so “nurturing” which prompts a giggle from Avery, before she retorts that his hands are soft, and he says it’s because all he does it wack it and dunk it in the ocean. She laughs at this, but Ash presents no indication that he’s joking unless the punchline is his pants. Is this what she means by Ash knowing the right things to say? Because he’s at the front of my Douchepedia, under ‘Cult Leader for Vagina’.
Ash shares an apartment with his brother, but said brother doesn’t want Avery to stay there, because she might trip over Ash’s other girlfriends. This makes Avery reasonably suspicious, so she says the bed large enough for her to starfish is hers, and Ash can shove those two twin beds together and fuck the slot in between, until their spirits agree with their genitals. I’m really starting to like Avery. Ash is disappointed in this, but recovers immediately, because as a relationship coach he knows that women are all the same, and will fuck him eventually.
The long box he snagged from his favorite florist to have beers with contains long-stemmed black roses, which she loves because they remind her of how dead inside 90DF viewers are (so?), and he chases this with a fond token commemorating that time she ghosted him. Apparently he posted his-and-her ‘Avery Loves Ash’ bracelets on THE GRAM, and Avery thought that was so cringe that she grabbed Lisa’s InstaGrammie bear and screamed into its stomach. I’d have a similar reaction, but my concept of romance is my boyfriend rubbing a potato on my back to banish a lung disease, so yeah, I‘d better sit this one out. They talk about this, and how she wasn’t ready “accept his love,” but she’s seriously considering it now that she’s on a TV show.
Finally we meet MMmmMmmmmmMM David, the glorious human I’ve been eagerly anticipating since the first preview. David is on the brink of retiring after a successful tech career, and is RV shopping so he can travel the country with his kitty copilot, Mothra. He has to sell a lot of stuff to accommodate a nomadic existence, but intends to cling tightly to his collection of unicycles. Can this guy be my uncle? David, you’re my uncle now. Also, I’m setting you up with Yolanda, if I can recover her from Manchester, ASP.
The Ukrainian woman conning him is Lana, whom you might remember from the time she went by Maria, and they’ve been chatting online up to four hours a day for seven years. She’s stood him for every one of their in-person meetings, because like a lot of people on this show, emergencies and illnesses happen right before air travel. David explains that he’s had a Slavic-lady fetish since his prepubescent wanking to Boris and Natasha, and is okay with spending $100K talking to a fantasy online through an expensive translation site, because he doesn’t feel lonely, and that makes him think it’s a good investment. This might be the most honest answer in the history of this show.
He meets up with friends Dave and Victoria, who confirm David’s wealth by how they carry themselves and the way they express concern for his emotional well-being, but not his finances. Victoria is also Ukrainian, and met Dave on a dating site, but Victoria says that she paid for this herself, and that women over 25 still looking for a man in the Ukraine are hunting for suckers. David is not persuaded by this argument, and his bank account just doesn’t care, and I’m fully on board with David’s comfortable dismissal of logic and evidence.
The site and chat service he uses to communicate with Lana doesn’t allow video interaction unless he’s willing to surrender additional cash, at which point they’ll dust off Maria and have her smile and call him husband. He takes his laptop to a park to chat with her, and get the details of their upcoming meeting in Odessa. He asks how he’ll be able to identify her, and she says she’ll be wearing a blue dress, and hiding under her invisible train ticket. If David smells a rat he doesn’t much care, and is pleased when she sends him a devilish emoji, which he explains is code for THE SEX, a subject that often comes up when he wonders about train tickets. “And I responded MmmmMMmmMMM,” he narrates, and my favorite character since Jihoon has been Frankenstein’d to life.
Later he calls his friend Anya in Ukraine. He met her during his last round of perusing a Ukrainian wifey, and she was a little too shy for David, but they’ve remained good friends…and yet the reason he hasn’t met Lana is that she’s “too shy” for the airport? Okay then. Instead of seeing this as Cesar part 2, I’m going to craft a storyline where Anya is actually Lana, drawing David into a polyamory plot with her current husband. Instead, Anya think he’s naïve for thinking someone who refuses to meet with him after seven years is a solid romantic prospect, and our best bet is the potential for Anya to introduce him to a female friend in fleshy form.
In Yonkers, Stephanie arranges her dogs on her bed to call Erica and her lip injections. She confesses to Erica that she described her as a friend to her family, and Erica goes quiet but doesn’t question it. Erica reports Friday night plans to watch the football final, and Stephanie is jealous because she has no plans, except eating some cheese and watching a movie. This doesn’t inspire giggles or affirmation that this is a solid COVID-19 plan, and that bright light on the horizon is The Doom.
Later, Stephanie packs up, and shows her friend Heather the gifts she got Erica. Stephanie’s gift game is solid, and she reveals a pricey purse she scored that matches Erica’s style so well that I’ll refrain from predictable pumpkin spice commentary. Heather is concerned that Stephanie is all-in already, and Erica won’t be able to drop everything to accommodate Stephanie’s limited lifestyle. She suspects that Stephanie’s eagerness has to do with her mortality awareness, which is underscored by the pharmacy she’s cramming into a suitcase.
Once at the airport, Stephanie reveals that she’ll have to wear a mask to protect herself, and pulls out this sad, scratchy paper mask that she doesn’t really wear in the airport, or on the plane. I have questions, and want to send her a Vogmask as soon as they’re back in production so she can be on trend. Then she can look more like she got lost on the way to the rave, and less like a biohazard waiting to spill onto the runway.
Speaking of biohazards, Darcey, Stacey, and Raina all head to the spa, because that’s what the Kardashians would do. Darcey doesn’t know what the status of her relationship is, because Tom has expressed total indifference, but she hasn’t received any notarized paperwork in triplicate, so it’s all up in the air for Darcey. She calls Tom’s escort a “Darcey lookalike,” and oh honey, no. Instead of addressing the new hand-holster being paraded on THE GRAM directly, she lets all his messages go unanswered, because she needs that scene in New York to happen. Raina chimes in that this relationship is “fucking crazy” and something tells me she says that 30 times a day, and it usually has something to do with Darcey.
Next week Steph meets Erica, MayoMan asks for an STI test, a convicted felon pretends to not be collecting foreign-born spouses to beat, Yolanda wastes our time, Avery meets Ash’s strangely suspicious brother, who looks like a smoking hot villain, Lisa’s campaign of delusion reaches a music video apex, and David happily greets Anya at the airport (and we’re teased that this is Lana).
Thank you, generous Patreon supporters!
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2020.02.04 08:21 gorgunzulu Penis camera inside vagina

Sounding: A Beginner's Guide
I don't consider myself an expert on the subject, but I do have some experience and I've invested my time in learning from sex-positive communities about sounding and sex toy safety. I think sounding is great, but I don't see a lot of comprehensive information about how to start (especially for people who have vaginas), and I see lots of posts here and on sounding with people asking questions. I'd like to bring some new in-depth conversation to the table. Even if you're more experienced, maybe there's information here that could be useful, or you can correct me on my inaccuracies, or add to the conversation. My goal in this post is to cover as much information as I can for anyone who is curious or wanting to try, and hopefully get some feedback and more info in the comments.
Why sounding?
There are a lot of reasons why people practice sounding, and the experiences can be widely varied. Some people just use small toys for more or different stimulation, no pain involved. Penis owners can stimulate their prostates via sounding, and for people with vaginas, there are lots of nerves surrounding the urethra which correlate with the g-spot. There are people who like stretching, depth, or even some pain. Everyone has their own reasons, every body responds a little differently, but for those who are wondering - no, it doesn't have to be painful, and yes, it feels good.
RANDOM OBJECT INSERTIONS
There are lots of reasons not to do this, and I don't recommend it unless you're experienced. If you're going to try something new, make sure you understand and accept all of the potential repercussions. If you really can't acquire a proper toy and absolutely need to have something inside your urethra, use an object that is comprised of a single unit, so that there are no seams or grooves for bacteria to grow. Make sure you know what it's made of, if it can be sanitized, and how to properly sanitize it. Also, make sure it's something that can't get stuck inside of you.
"But I'm new to this and I don't have a toy!"
If you are unfamiliar with sounding, you can put yourself at risk of internal damage. You should start with a safe material that is smooth and comfortable for your body, and you should take the time to get to know your body's limits in a safe way before trying something new. There are links below for finding toys.
"But it feels good!"
You can make yourself prone to urinary tract infections, which do not typically resolve themselves. They can turn into bladder or kidney infections, which are very serious. Also, it's possible for things to get stuck or lost inside of your body, or even knotted inside of your bladder.
"But I cleaned it!"
Lots of materials are not safe to be used inside the body, especially if you try to use something to sterilize your makeshift "toy". Rubbing alcohol can degrade/melt some materials, including some wood finishes, rubbers, and plastics.
Toy Safety
A small amount of discomfort is a standard experience if you're new to sounding, or haven't done it in a while. Your body will adjust over time, and any discomfort should resolve itself. If you're trying for more depth or a bigger diameter, be patient and let your body handle what it's capable of. Coax, don't force. Listen to what your body tells you. Penis and vagina owners will have slightly different concerns, which I will do my best to outline.
I will give as much information and advice as I can, but I am not a doctor, and redditors are not qualified to address your medical concerns. If you find that any discomfort is becoming worse or not going away, if you feel unintended pain or see blood, or if you have reason for concern, stop what you're doing and give your body as much time as it needs to recuperate. If you need to see a doctor, then do it.
A note on silicone toys:
Generally speaking, the sex toy industry is not well-regulated. There are lots of toys that are advertised as silicone, and not nearly as many that are actually silicone. "Jelly" toys, silicone "blends", and other soft materials often contain plasticizers or other ingredients which are toxic and degrade inside the body. The toys themselves are also porous and cannot be safely sanitized. This includes sounds as well as dildos. There are a lot of cheap toys, knockoff brands, and retailers who sell them - Amazon being one of them. If you are purchasing a silicone toy of any kind, please do your research and purchase from a reputable retailer. I could turn this into a whole-ass post on its own, but here's a rabbithole to go down if you would like more information.
Sanitation:
Stainless steel and medical-grade silicone are both safe to clean with rubbing alcohol or by boiling. Silicone is also safe with 10% bleach solutions. At the very least, I recommend washing your toy(s) with soap and water, then wipe down with rubbing alcohol and let dry before using. Prior to play, it's also a good idea to clean around your urethra, and wash your hands and fingernails thoroughly. Sterile gloves and/or hand sanitizer is also a good idea. To prevent UTIs, I also recommend staying well-hydrated, and urinating afterward to clear any bacteria that may be in the urethra.
For penis owners: I'm sure this goes without saying, but make sure your penis (and foreskin) are clean. Also, be mindful that UTIs are not gender exclusive - you can cause problems for yourself if you're not careful.
For vagina owners: UTIs are of extra concern. The female urethra is typically only about 2" (~4cm) in length, so bacteria have a much easier time traveling to and affecting the bladder. The vagina and urethra are also located close together, and vaginal flora can impact the urinary microbiome. If your microbiome is sensitive to soaps being used on your vulva, then don't use soap. Just rinse well using clean hands, sanitize your toys as outlined above, and be extra sure to drink lots of water and urinate after play.
Lubricant:
Lubricant is important for comfort and safety. Too much friction can cause microtears, and leave you more susceptible to infection. There are a few different types of lubricant to be used with sex toys: oil-based, silicone-based, water-based, and blends. Materials other than water are difficult for the body to flush out properly, and silicone lube is unsafe to use with silicone toys, so I'm only going to focus on water-based lubricants.
Since it's going to be inside your body, it's a good idea to keep your lubricant as sanitary as possible (especially if you're prone to UTIs). I don't advise putting spit in your urethra. As for what kind of lube, surgical lubricant works great, but there are some other good water-based options as well. Single-use packets or pump-top bottles tend to be the most sanitary option.
For penis owners: If you produce enough pre-ejaculate to sufficiently lubricate your sounding experience, that's great, but it's still a good idea to keep lube on hand.
For vagina owners: Glycerin, propylene glycol, and polyethylene glycol are ingredients commonly used in water-based lubricant. They can lead to UTIs and yeast infections. If you don't use surgical lube, then I would recommend something like Slippery Stuff or Sliquid, which are linked below.
Material:
Honestly, I'm not aware of any materials other than medical-grade silicone or stainless steel for sounding, and I wouldn't recommend anything else. However, your anatomy may influence the materials you choose. Steel sounds have a set firmness, but they can be curved, flexible, or hollow. Metal toys tend to require less lubricant, and thus have a smoother feel to them. Silicone sounds can vary a lot in firmness, shape, and flexibility. If you have trouble fitting a certain size metal toy, you may have better luck with a softer silicone version of the same diameter, since the material has more give to it. Both materials can be designed with variance in diameter, length, texture, shape, and design. To begin with, the best choice is to start with something rather small in diameter (4-5mm), and work your way to what feels most comfortable.
For penis owners: If you're unfamiliar with sounding, metal sounds are the best thing to start with. They have more weight than silicone sounds, and you can let gravity do the work for you rather than trying to force anything. If you use something too small in diameter, it can scrape and cause internal damage, so you may consider purchasing a set, or a toy that has different diameters on each end. Ideally, your first toy should feel snug, but not painful.
For vagina owners: You may want to start with a silicone sound to get used to the sensations, pacing, depth, etc. without fear of causing any damage. Metal sounds are very nice, but I'd recommend against using ones that are curved or hooked at one end, as those are designed for penile use. I'd also advise using a toy with a flared base, or a flat end, or a ring - something that won't go all the way inside.
Purchasing
Not all sex shops carry sounding toys. It's not exactly a "vanilla" activity, and there's actually a lot of overlap between objects for medical use and pleasure. Some handmade toys may not run quite true to size. You might also find diameters listed in millimeters (mm), or French gauge (Fr or Fg). 1 mm is equivalent to 3 Fr.
In terms of what appeals to the individual, there's a lot of variety to be had. All kinds of lengths, shapes, sizes, and designs. Some are plugs designed to be worn, some are hollow, some are designed with piercings in mind, some have rings on the end, some have flattened ends, some are different diameters on each end, some vibrate, some have cock cages, some are beaded, tapered, stepped, spiral-shaped, etc. I'm not the most familiar with vendors, but I'll try and provide some links to the best of my ability. Feedback and sources in the comments is greatly appreciated!
For vagina owners: Everybody's anatomy is a little different, and it can be hard to navigate. If you have a difficult time finding or isolating your urethra, you may find it helpful to use a small mirror or front-facing camera. Some people also use speculums to help keep things open and out of the way. I personally don't use them, but I'd love to hear if anyone has recommendations for these.
Some retailers/vendors:
Amazon. I don't recommend buying "silicone" insertable toys here, especially not cheap ones.
Steel Pleasures
Silicone Nozzles
Lustplugs
Alibaba
Medical Toys
Metal sets:
Hegar, dual-ended set of 4 (3-10mm)
Pratt, straight set of 8 (4.3~14.3mm)
Rosebud set of 4 (4-7mm)
Van Buren, curved set of 8 (2.6~7.3mm, would not recommend for vagina-owners due to shape)
Silicone sounds:
As far as silicone toys go, the retailer I'm most familiar with is Silicone Nozzles, so that's the resource I'm gonna link here. It's a janky site, but they have a ton of variety and they have quality products.
Lubes:
Surgilube, 4.5oz
Slippery Stuff Gel, 4oz
Sliquid Natural Intimate, 4.2oz
For the UTI-prone:
This is something else that I could make an entire post about. Sounding is a pleasurable experience, but the activity carries some inherent risks, the most common of which is probably urinary tract infections. Burning doesn't always mean that you have a UTI, but infections usually involve a burning sensation that does not go away, painful urination, bladder pressure/frequent need to urinate, sometimes lower abdominal pain or blood, etc.
UTIs don't often go away on their own and typically require an antibiotic prescription to resolve. However, they are are preventable. Unfortunately, some people struggle with them chronically and may not be able to sound at all without flareups. But if you find that you may be more susceptible and want to play on the safe side, there are OTC products which may be worth looking into:
UTI test strips
Mild antibiotic. UTIs tend to progress rather quickly. This is a product that's meant to help control an infection until it can be addressed by a medical professional. Please don't abuse antibiotics.
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