Feeling like an outsider from both communities. And yes, when I came out, I had dates turn me down, or worse, ghost me because I'm bisexual. My fear was based in reality. Biphobia is very much real. I'm constantly invalidated by new people I meet. Constantly questioned. I don't have a community to call my own. One day, water had an existential crisis. “What am I?” It asked. “When I am cold I am hard. When I am warm it's like I can float. When I am just me though, I am neither.” “If you put me in a large container, I can be a lake or an ocean. If you put... That’s where I’m confused. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if this is normal. The first thing that got my attention was that she had posted a picture with another girl and wrote a whole paragraph for her. She had titled her, “best friend.” She has known this girl since she was a little girl so I’m not surprised they’re best ... I feel very lost right now, and I don't really know what to think about this. It really disturbed me. I feel very abandoned and alone right now. I don't want to throw away a 3 year relationship just because of this, especially not right now after I lost one of my best friends. I'm starting to wonder if I am actually over reacting. I've never ... 1 (1.5 - i attempted sex once with the only other guy i have ever loved but DH popped my cherry), but I don't include how many guys I've fooled around with but would be honest when asked. 3rd - 5, 2nd - 8 and 1st 28 (2 girls & 8 were dares or spin the bottle). What i advise is take your time, there is no pressure to know if you are gay or straight, you will just know! I spent a lot of time in denial, trying to persuade myself that i was straight, and i dated a girl thinking i liked her in 'that way', but i didn't. i didn't like kissing her or holding her hand, seeing her was a chore.
2020.04.29 19:55 Bytegrinder Porn live chaturebate
So I’ve been sheltered my entire life basically, I was homeschooled from 1st grade too 9th grade. Never was social, never really did any activities. So I never really got an idea of people or how the world works.
I flocked to the Internet of course lol, and I’m not saying I’m special or anything but from like 12-16 I’ve seen a fair amount of fucked up stuff, murder, torture, suicides, weird porn, etc. just the normal stuff lol, that’s not my issue.
So when I was around 13, my friend introduced to this one guy, (I’m a male btw) and I’ve always had a fucked sense of humor and so did this guy (he was 25 btw) so I attached to him because of that.
He would be overly “sexual” towards me, but like I never thought anything of it cause me and my other friends who were around my age would always joke about fucking each other or whatever, but now that I’m 18 and look back at it, it’s weird cause he was 25 and he knew I was 13.
Anyways, I got immediately attached to this dude, just stayed up all night talking, fucking around with stupid shit, him showing me more shit, and just being stupid.
Anyways here’s where it takes I guess a dark turn. He introduced me too the dark web, and I was always a curious kid, so if he knew how to get there I was all in. Just a reminder he was 25 and I was 14, and he showed me a bunch of child porn, made jokes about it, and just always I guess “exposed” me too it, and at a young age, and not knowing much than just too trust adults, I didn’t think it was wrong (I know I’m fucked up) so he continued to show me that shit, and this went on for about 2 years.
He would also do other stuff, always talk about us moving in together and just joke about us fucking, and all that stuff, and that’s all I thought about it “joking” but I forget a lot that this was a 25 year old man talking to a 14 year old boy.
We would go on Omegle and Chaturebate, and just fuck around there. He definitely exposed himself to me a lot, one time masturebated on camera with me looking, but he never said he was doing it towards me, or like saying shit like “I wanna fuck you” or “stroke me like I do to myself” or shit like that. But I can remember one time that he did ask me to join in with him, but I said no.
He would have relationship problems and talk to me about them, suicidal stuff and talk to me about them, he was a drinker and talk to me, and just unhealthy stuff to show and do towards a kid.
And I feel so confused and just lost, with this, cause I know he did inappropriate things, but to me it feels like he was just my buddy, and good friend, and I can’t think of him as anything else.
So I’m just wondering what do you guys think about this guy?
Was I “groomed” or “molested” and I hate to say those cause I definitely don’t like too say that about myself cause nothing physical ever happened, definitely psychologically with all the child porn, (which I should make very clear I never looked at on my own, and never was attracted too, but I will admit I didn’t see the wrong in it until years later) so I can admit that has played a role, but he is just always in my mind, I can’t forget the things he’s done with me there. And yeah, I’m just so confused and don’t know what to do with that situation.
I no longer talk to him, it’s been about 2 years, I think he committed suicide, but I don’t know.
Y’all got any opinions on it?
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