Nn candid girls

2020.10.24 19:58 Rickard58 Girls nn candid

In case you or your friends needed 214 reasons to not vote for Trump, here’s his terrible record:

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2020.10.24 19:55 Rickard58 Nn candid girls

In case you or your friends needed 214 reasons to not vote for Trump, here’s his terrible record:

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2020.10.09 14:07 kittehgoesmeow Nn candid girls

"You're not vulnerable. They like to say 'the vulnerable', but you're the least vulnerable. But for this one thing, you are vulnerable and so am I." - Donald Trump, locking up the senior vote
Fly Me To The Goon The day after the head of the White House coronavirus task force tried to defend the administration’s pandemic response from behind a plexiglass divider, President Trump has refused to participate in a debate in which he can’t potentially infect Joe Biden. Name a more normal 24 hours, we’ll wait.

Meanwhile, the White House coronavirus cover-up continues.
So here we are in the election homestretch, with the candidate who failed to protect the country and himself from a deadly virus now fighting tooth and nail against measures to prevent him from transmitting that virus to the other ticket. It’s hard to imagine any debate answer, in any format, that could reveal a more damning contrast than that. 26 days.
Look No Further Than The Crooked Media On a special takeover episode of Campaign Experts React, we’re joined by returning guest Alex O’Keefe (Creative Director of the Sunrise Movement,) Kohar Minassian (Video Producer at Team AOC and Co-Founder of &Roses,) and Tahseen Rabbi (former Bernie 2020 Video Producer and Co-Founder of &Roses.) They look at four ads to discuss what worked well and what made them cringe. Watch & subscribe here
Under The Radar Thirteen men have been charged in connection with a domestic terrorism plot to kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-MI). Federal authorities charged six of the men with conspiracy to kidnap, while state authorities charged the other seven people—linked to the militia group “Wolverine Watchmen”—with state terrorism crimes. The men’s plan involved storming the state capitol and instigating a civil war, in addition to kidnapping Whitmer and other government officials. They had met several times for firearms training and to try to build explosives. We now hark back to when Donald Trump egged on armed anti-lockdown protesters in Michigan. Today’s announcement is a chilling reminder that not only has the president refused to denounce white supremacy, he’s aligned his rhetoric with that of people who pose the greatest terrorist threat to the country, and Americans are in real danger as a result.
What Else? Joe! Biden! Tested! Negative! We can now turn our full attention to worrying about whether Vice President Mike “I’m canceling a trip to Indianapolis, actually” Pence sprayed more than just lies on the debate stage with Kamala Harris.
Elliot Broidy, a former top fundraiser for President Trump and the GOP, has been charged for his role in a scheme to influence the U.S. government on behalf of foreign interests. Broidy will plead guilty to participating in a scheme to illegally lobby the Trump administration to abandon an investigation into a Malaysian businessman.
White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows hosted an Atlanta wedding for his daughter with 70 guests in May, in violation of a statewide order and city guidelines limiting gatherings to 10 people. Just a nice little anecdote for everyone who’s been unable to see their loved ones for the last seven months.
The Regeneron antibody cocktail that Trump has falsely called a coronavirus “cure” was developed with cells derived from fetal tissue, a type of research the administration has moved to shut down to satisfy the anti-choice lobby. Republicans hate hypocrisy, so this will surely change some minds.
Health officials have been rushing to deliver Trump’s illegal drug-discount bribes to seniors before the election, as Trump loses their support in the polls at a rapid clip.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said he hasn’t been to the White House in months because of its lax approach to coronavirus, then got right back to work trying to jam through a Supreme Court justice who would agree to hand the election to the leader of that White House over the will of the voters.
Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron filed a motion to bar a grand juror in Breonna Taylor’s case from discussing the proceedings.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said there will be no standalone airline aid without a larger stimulus package, and also that “We’re going to be talking about the 25th Amendment.” Two great tastes that taste great together.
Saturday Night Live canceled Morgan Wallen’s scheduled musical performance after he spent the weekend violating coronavirus safety protocols. Live from New York, it’s the consequences of your own actions!
Secretary of State Mike Pompeo put out a memo on “upcoming elections in Africa,” without specifying any particular countries. We are begging an NPR reporter to ask Mike to point to the countries with upcoming elections on a blank map.
Mayor Pete has found his calling and it is cheerfully doing cold-blooded murders on Fox News.
Be Smarter Many Black communities deeply distrust vaccines thanks to a long history of abuse, and researchers have begun turning to neighborhood leaders to recruit participants for coronavirus vaccine trials. Historical medical nightmares like the Tuskegee experiment combined with a famously untrustworthy and racist federal government have naturally made people of color reluctant to participate in trials—so far, only about three percent of people who have signed up nationally are Black. But with the coronavirus taking a greater toll on people of color, diversity in the vaccine trials is crucial. In Pittsburgh, PA, teams of volunteer recruiters have made headway in persuading people to enroll by meeting them where they are, listening to their fears and concerns, and understanding the overlapping traumas at play.
What A Sponsor Today through October 18 at Nordstrom Rack, find limited-time price drops on home organization, bedding & more! Shop now
Is That Hope I Feel? Democrats raised $15 million in just 12 hours after the start of Kamala Harris’s debate performance.
Toto, I’ve got a feeling we're sticking around Kansas to win a Senate seat, actually.
Progressive groups have unveiled a 2021 “People’s Charter” laying out what’s possible for a Joe Biden administration to achieve next year.
Sesame Street will air a special teaching kids to stand up against racism.
Enjoy
Katya on Twitter: "A Poem by Sarah Jessica Parker"
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2020.10.02 18:48 Rickard58 Nn candid girls

In case you or your friends needed 214 reasons to not vote for Trump, here’s his terrible record:

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2020.10.02 18:46 Rickard58 207 reasons to not vote for Trump

In case you or your friends needed 207 reasons to not vote for Trump, here’s his terrible record:

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2020.08.27 20:28 Rickard58 155 reasons not to vote for Trump

In case your friends needed 155 (200 now) reasons to not vote for Trump, here’s his terrible record:

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2020.08.17 14:54 FistsoFiore Nn candid girls

I saw this post about crowd sourcing NPCs by u/DrRotwang, and I thought it would be fun to do something similar for Saltmarsh, since we have such a fine community of DMs here. The format I've been using is like this:

Character's Name (alignment gender race monster name MM/GoS page #). A brief description. Role in Saltmarsh. Their dramatic, open ended question.
But I'm not expecting all of those details, especially since I haven't come up with all of those for all of my NPCs, yet. Also, you can add a location from Locations in Saltmarsh (p13), if you picture them in a specific locale.
Edit: I might make some minor edits for format or readability. Let me know if you want me to change something back, or didn't understand the NPC's concept.
I'll start with some of the NPCs I made, or my players named (they got a little raunchy)
Without further adieu
  1. Delg Ferguson (LN male dwarf commoner MM p345) a brawny dwarf from the mines, who occasionally enters the prize fights at the Empty Net.
  2. Rikk van Dyke (NG male half-elf commoner) a spry handsome young blonde man, who is a local heart throb. How'd he get so good at dancing?
  3. "Rumple Foreskin" (my younger brother named this one) (CE male elf spy MM 349). Short for an elf, and greasy hair. He can help you fence things, if he gets his cut. What's his true name?
  4. Jayne "Ol' Fingers" Roberts (NG female human commoner) a fisher woman with weathered skin and brown hair under a bandanna. She has the reputation of being as good with her hands on a boat as she is in a bed, much to her wife's glee.
  5. Tyson Lobos (CE male half-orc thug MM 350). Muscled and lean, with a big wolf head tattoo on the light gray skin of his chest. He organizes the gambling part of the fighting pit in the Empty Net, but will occasionally enter the ring--against multiple opponents. What’s with those golden, wolf-like eyes?
  6. Erwann Mikael (NG male human guard MM 347) works for a local merchant's caravan, who you can often find at Ingo the Drover's office if his employer wants extra guards. Why does his employer need so much security?
  7. Reggie Flatbottom (CN male halfling commoner) a traveling merchant from Two Oakes, near Silverstand, with a warm smile and firm handshake. He smuggles drugs into town along with his normal merchandise. Who is his supplier?
  8. Rum Rat Jones and the Rum Rats (I embelished) Raphael “Rum Rat” Jones (CN male human Pirate Captain GoS 247). A lithe man with short, but unkempt, black hair and a rough goatee. He’s the self-appointed voice and leader of a small group of shipless pirates called the Rum Rats, who are currently on the lam. He also plays a mean banjo for tips and drinks. Why are the Rum Rats in hiding? Where and how are they going to “appropriate” a ship? [ u/tiberious161]
  9. Tobias “Big Toby” [Last Name], a Rum Rat (CN male human Pirate First Mate GoS 248). Far too muscular, and silent. Quite the hurdy-gurdyist. Where did he learn to fish with his bare hands? Where did he learn his home remedies? [ u/tiberious161]
  10. Kent Lowinder (LN Human Scout MM349) a member of the smuggling crew from the sinister secret of saltmarsh. He's a bit less committed to the slaughtering of innocent people and only smuggles for the money so he can support his family in waterdeep. If he befriends the party, he can assist them in tracking down the sea ghost along with other miscellaneous tasks, gaining membership into the lord's alliance through Eliander. [ u/TN_MakesIt]
  11. Ailmon Syrlo (NG male Elf Commoner) Butler of the Oweland House, where he spends most of his time on his duties. Has a slight tendency to gossip about news he hears from his relatives, although he cannot stand children himself. [ u/TN_MakesIt]
  12. Jasna (CG female Human Tribal Warrior MM 350) is a traveling nomad who got put into the Saltmarsh stocks for being unable to pay for food from the snapping line. If her debt is paid, she offers her tattooing services to the party. Her most special tattoo, which is on her face, was inked by her tribe's wise-woman and gives her powers similar to a basalisk's gaze. What kind of magic are her tattoos? [ u/TN_MakesIt]
  13. Evan Freegaze (LG male Human Apprentice Wizard) is a 10 year old kid with an amazing IQ for someone his age. He was abandoned by his parents in Neverwinter and grew up on the streets, where he succeeded in stealing a wizard's spellbook. He's been teaching himself magic ever since, with varying degrees of effectiveness. He has, however, mastered the art of improving mundane items with the magical properties of rocks and crystals. If you find these materials for him, he will use them to apply upgrades to equipment,etc. [ u/TN_MakesIt]
  14. Madame Araneo (CN female Drow Commoner) is a traveling seamstress who creates wonderful dresses and women's clothing out of spider silk. Although she tries her best to hide her heritage, her old age has made certain parts of her body less easy to hide. She sometimes appears at the weekly market, always with a large sun hat. [ u/TN_MakesIt]
  15. Weird Larry (NG male human commoner). A fisherman who hangs out at the Snapping line. He also works odd jobs for silver and collects information, which he routinely sells said info to all three factions. Master of odd jobs. Can point you where to go when you’re lost and will drink you under the table and pay your tab. Real friendly guy. [ u/thedragoon0]
  16. Faundrell "Faun" Dorstig (LG female human guard). Slightly above rank-and-file town guard with a penchant for drinking contests. Proud of her job and well respected by the everyday people of Saltmarsh (mainly traditionalists). Can be met while carousing at the Wicker Goat or the Snapping Line and won over by good-hearted parties who have the interest of the town at heart. As a contact she can provide information and rumors about whats going on in town, or even a good word with Eliander. Why is she so secretive about her home life? She takes care of her grandmother and her little sister after her parents died, but she's fiercely independent [ u/radioactivespiderpod]
  17. Enya Bakker (LG female human commoner) is the middle aged woman who runs the bakery next to the Green Market. Married to Barram Bakker, the baker. They have two children: an 11 year old girl named Maeve and a 6 year old boy named Banan. They have a flat to rent above the bakery, which is warm and cozy in the winter, but practically unbearable in the summer. Her father and brothers are fishermen. [ u/arianrhodUShannak]
  18. Barram Bakker (LG male human commoner) is the middle aged baker who owns the bakery and is married to Enya. He closely guards his secret recipe for his signature loaf, which he calls Banan Bread, after his son.
  19. Nasty Bradley, (NN male human commoner) a chef for hire. He was thrown out of Keoland's Royal Culinary Institute for doing something that he dares not mention. Looking for work on a ship, as they don't do background checks. Makes phenomenal food though, if you don't think too hard about where he gets the ingredients. [ u/Kryzm]
  20. Rum-Hook Rosalind (CN Human gladiator MM 346) is the captain of the Blazing Cutlass. Her crew of six harries trade ships and merchants where possible, skirting the more dangerous prey. She has a hook for a left hand and wields a barbed rapier in the right. Her crew of grizzled, hard, ugly men are all terrified of her. [ u/Kryzm]
  21. Keira Wrainstave (LG female elf commoner). A shipwright with a workshop next to Ingo the Drover's house. Besides building new ships, she has been known to do ship repairs (and upgrades) for a reasonable quote. She lives across from her younger sister's shop, Kiorna’s Leather Goods, and will drop in for a visit on a whim. She rarely speaks with her youngest sister, Kiara Shadowbreaker (GoS 20), since she's always off "defending the realm," or whatever. She built a thin bridge over the river so she and her sisters don’t have to deal with the nausea from Sharkfin Bridge. Why does she keep to herself so much, especially around humans? [ u/metzona]
  22. Spit (CN male dwarf rogue). One of the few dwarfs in town not associated with the mine, well not anymore. He left his job as a groundskeeper to find his fortune in the tunnels, but only found he hated swinging a pickaxe. Now he's a smuggler, until something better turns up. What makes him so dissatisfied with his work? [ u/about20ninjas]
  23. Jason Targull (LG male human commoner) is Saltmarsh's cobbler. He is a fifth generation Saltmarsh native. His wife, Mary, died during childbirth. Jason is raising his 10 year old daughter, Erin, with the assistance of his younger spinster sister, Gwen Targull. Jason is a secretly a loyalist, although he appears to be a traditionalist around those who know him well. Jason enjoys sharing the latest gossip with his patrons while he is fitting them with new boots. [ u/NotSoSmort]
  24. Machin (Neutral male human) is a loan-shark who frequents the Empty Net, since that is where he conducts most of his business. He charges 10% interest per ten-day week, and will lend out up to 30 gp. Machin is brutally punctual with the terms of the loan, and will send his 3 bodyguards who take care of his dirty work. His bodyguards are Anton, Casper the Crooked, and Grif the Mariner. [ u/NotSoSmort]
  25. Grif the Mariner (CN half-orc male Barbarian 3/Guardian of Ancient Spirits) came to Saltmarsh looking to commission a bard to write an epic song about his ancestors, who were brazenly successful raiders until they set sail to raid Evermeet in order to show the elves that not even their sanctuary was safe. Once the raider fleet set sail, they were never heard from again. When not working for Machin, Grif frequents the taverns in Saltmarsh. He is hoping to one day find a bard skilled enough to create a memorable song that keeps the memory of his ancestors alive on ships and in taverns up and down the coast. [ u/NotSoSmort]
  26. Moira Salt (CG/LG female human commoner). Headmistress of the Solmor House for Wayward Children. She grew up in Saltmarsh at the orphanage after her parents were killed by the Sea Princes/taken by slavers/insert your reason here, and took over when the former headmaster passed away. She is fiercely protective of the children of Saltmarsh and holds a grudge against anything and everything that made them, and herself, orphans. [ u/JessTheHumanGirl]
  27. Jefferson Thatch (CG/LG male halfling commoner). Gardener and groundskeeper at Solmor House. Thatch is from the nearby halfling residences in the north and has been living at Solmor House for two decades. He paid off a debt to the Solmors by taking up the position at the house but fell in love with the work and the children of Saltmarsh. [ u/JessTheHumanGirl]
  28. Myle Castellan (CN male human bandit). Formerly a smuggler of the haunted mansion, was ridiculed for liking to read. Currently working for Winston at his store, trying to stay out of trouble from the law. From a family of druids, unbeknownst to all is a candidate to be named King of the Isles by the Isles patron goddess. [ u/KevB0tBro]
  29. Sinman Colb (LN male human Pirate Captain) An old salt working the docks as a fishing boat captain. He is known for being a tough but fair captain, and a former kingdom navy sailor. Possibly the captain that ferries the party to and from locations if they don't have a boat. No one knows why he goes by Sinman Colb, or why he always refers to himself in the third person. [ u/KevB0tBro]
  30. Hugo Yellowfarm (LG male human guard). Being the youngest in a family with 8 kids, Hugo left his family farm, located a few miles outside of Saltmarsh, looking for work. He has been a town guard for nearly two years now. He is nearly 19 and likes to spend his spare time practicing his lute. Maybe one day he'll be able to play music full time. [ u/shrlckholmes]
  31. Ivan "Bigsy" Stregbor (LE human veteran). Ivan is a large burly man with tattooed rippling muscles, a big bushy beard and a shiny bald head. He works as one of the Saltmarsh town guard, but takes bribes from Gellan to ensure that none of Gellan's smuggling is noticed. Ivan spends most of his free time in the Empty Net. He has a large scar on his shoulder, no one knows how he got it. [ u/shrlckholmes]
  32. Mikey Joe O'Shea (CN male human druid). Born to a family of sheep herders in the hills outside Saltmarsh, Mikey is now the owner of Elgnid farm. He is slightly insane after spending too much time alone with his sheep. Recently Mikey's sheep have started going missing. He is offering a hefty reward for any willing to find his sheep. [ u/shrlckholmes]
  33. Xala Eilibi Salt (NG female half-gnome Child) a thirteen year old half-gnome girl with woody-brown skin and long, braided black hair who stands not even 4 feet tall. Her voice is crackly and while she doesn’t look malnourished, she does seem rather thin. Her parents died somehow in the past, forcing her to fend for herself. She scavenges stuff from wherever she can and sells it on a straw mat just outside the Weekly Market. She’s not very good with prices and determining the value of her stuff, so she often either oversells or undersells an item. Who were her parents and how did they die? [ u/Disruptis]
  34. Shukas Iancan (NG male elf wizard) a young, ninety-six year old elf alchemist with white skin that holds a tinge of copper, betraying his wood elf origins. His ears are long and thin, his face is soft and round, and he carries a very relaxed and welcoming demeanor. He owns a shop named the “Swirling Swirl” on the Sharkfin Bridge, which is an open-air stall that sells common and uncommon potions. He used to be an adventurer before his previous party members all died, and now he's decided to take it quietly for a while. Why did he come to Saltmarsh and what exactly happened to his party? [ u/Disruptis]
Edit: My first award. Thank ye kind stranger, brought a tear to me eye.
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2020.01.02 18:06 IndolentMess My Psycho Girlfriend Decapitated Me, The Afterlife Ain’t What I Expected…


As in it ain't the fuckin' place I ended up going! What a fuckin' EVENT I have been having the displeasure of going through. And it is still ongoing. Lemme just rant it out for ya sick horror-seeking cunts.
Now, this all started three weeks ago. Here I am expecting the bowels of hell where my sin-loving ass rightfully gonna end up, instead I get some teen kid eyeing me up like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Boy'd probably try to take a handful of my naughty bits too, had I not kicked the pervy fuck in the 'nads. Kid crumpled to the ground, yowling something fierce.
My head just got done rolling across the floor of some restaurant, and I wake up to this shit? The place I was in was seedier than a back alley massage parlor too. I think it was supposed to be some abandoned warehouse. Shelves coated in rust, vermin scurry and shittin' all-round, and a ceiling covered with holes.
I shot up off the ground to my feet in a second, towering over that kid.
"Gettin' ready to cop a feel, eh, freak!" The boy stumbled back, cradling his babymaker like a newborn. I had right mind to give 'em another blow before some unkempt trench coat wearin' motherfucker came over.
"What the hell's going on?" Trenchcoat asks.
"Little creep was perving on me. You with 'em?" I shot that homeless-looking mug the stink-eye.
"I wasn't gonna do anything!" The kid cried out.
"Yeah yeah, you ain't the first lecherous fuck to say that to me." What an eye roll of an excuse, just upset he got caught.
"No, I just met him here. None of us know each other here. If you come with me, I can introduce you to everyone."
"How about instead I fuck off outta this drug den?" I wasn't gonna be caught staying in this place. Last thing I need’s some junkie to jump me from the shadows, tryin' to stab me for meth money.
"That won't work…" I heard Trenchcoat say, not giving a shit I just flipped him off and continued on to the front doors of the warehouse. Coming up to this set of big ol' double doors, I tried to slide one of 'em open. No lock in sight, could even see some light poking in from the crack between the doors. Fucker. Didn't. Even. Budge. Felt like I may as well been tryin' to pull the sword from the stone. And ya girl was found wanting...
"I could have saved you the effort. You should come meet everyone else, we're trying to figure out what's going on." Trenchcoat was right behind me.
"I'll just call someone then." I reached into my pocket and sighed. Of course, my phone was gone, just vanished without a trace.
"You coming now or not?"
Looks like it was time to go introduce myself to the class, god I fuckin' hate meeting new people. As we were going back through the warehouse, I took another look at where I woke up. There was this blood red pentagram scrawled on the concrete. Even had some Latin writing circling 'round it. Not that I could read that dead language…still some real freaky occult shit nonetheless.
We came to the rest of the miserable shits stuck here, all hanging by this statue of this shirtless goat-headed furry sittin' on a black altar. Gotta say the statue was not to my taste, but shit was crafted by a master cause the detail on it was ridiculous. Looked pretty much like a real dude. Just with a goat head…and furry goat legs…A couple of big, sleek black raven wings…and I ain't confident of this, so don't hold me to it, but I think it had a dick in that fur. Fucker had a bitchin' beach bod though, who knew goatmen could be so jacked?
"Welcome, we just did introductions, but hopefully everyone doesn't mind reintroducing themselves. We can just go around in a circle." Trenchcoat said, grabbing the attention of the group of people loitering around the statue.
The first to answer was this middle-aged guy whose fashion sense screamed mid-life crisis. His name was Paul, he brought up his job, but I didn't care enough to listen to what it was.
Next was Roger, the teenage pervert, who was giving me quite the dirty look…that little shit. Could still see the tear stains on his cheeks.
Then there was Samuel, and he was a beefcake of a man, I'm talking an easy eight or nine outta ten with some sexy flowing blonde locks. Now I usually don't get with men too often, but I certainly wouldn't kick him out of bed.
After him, we got to the only other girl here, besides me. Penelope, she was a little cutie too, with these big glasses. I always had a soft spot for nerdy girls, and she looked to have a bit of shyness in her as well. That really gets my taps goin'. Not like I couldn't take on another conquest, seein' as my current girlfriend, psycho bitch she is, is firmly into ex territory now. And hopefully, prison.
Finally, we get back to Trenchcoat, guy went by Marshall…he did look the part, so it made sense to me.
"Your turn now." He said to me.
"It's Naomi."
"With that out of the way, does everyone remember how they got here?" Marshall asked. Everyone just went all nervous when he said that. The geezer especially looked pale.
"I can see some of you are apprehensive… I'll talk first then. I was shot, three rounds in my chest. My partner and I were trying to take a suspect in for questioning, and they unexpectedly pulled a gun and opened fire. I'm certain that I should have died, but instead, I woke up here." Marshall said.
"I was driving my truck down the highway, heading for the next town over. Out of nowhere, this guy came swerving into the lane, slamming into me. The last thing I remember is hitting the divider and looking up to see a car coming head-on at me. I guess I should be dead too." Samuel said.
"Interesting…what about everyone else." Marshall asked.
"I…I don't remember. I was just studying in the library at my university, and suddenly now I'm here." Penelope said.
"I also should have died. I hope you don't mind me keeping the reason to myself." Paul said, guy put on a subtle smile, but damn if he wasn't shaky as all hell. Pretty sketchy motherfucker if you ask me.
"That's alright, I just want to get a general idea of how we might have ended up here." Marshall said, turning his gaze over to me. I scoffed.
"My girlfriend walked into a restaurant with a meat cleaver, found me, and murdered both me and my date. She was thorough too, cut my head clean off…two swings, bitch always did work out a bunch." I noticed everyone looking at me with these dumbfounded fuckin’ faces and sighed.
"She decapitated you in public? What the fuck?" Samuel said.
"Well, I was cheatin' on her, so I guess she decided to get some revenge. A little overboard if you ask me though. I always knew she was a fucking psycho and wanted to break it off, but uh…she gave me a lot of benefits."
You'd think I’d be a lot more upset about the whole ordeal, but hey, I'm not actually dead, so what's there to be upset about. That guy I was out with was pretty nice though, that shit's a real shame cause he's very dead.
"Right…Kid, you mind telling us what you remember?" Marshall asked Roger.
"Nn-nothing! I mean…I…I don't remember either." That boy was a terrible liar…
"Listen, you can keep the details to yourself, I don't care about those. Did you die?" Marshall asked.
"I…yea…I died." Roger hesitantly answered. I planted him immediately on the sketchy list too.
"So that's the common trait then…we all died. Even though Penelope cannot remember it, I’m sure it is the same with her." Marshall said. Penelope shifted uncomfortably at the words.
"That's a little crazy though, don't you think? Wouldn't it make more sense to think someone kidnapped us?" Samuel said.
"Bud, maybe you need to clean your ears out, I lost my fuckin' head. I'm no doctor, but I don't think you can just go about reattaching that." I responded.
"Not to mention people just appearing on that painted symbol over there. All of us were seemingly just teleported here. I looked at it closer a bit after arriving, Seems, whoever made it was into Satanism. The fact all of us appeared on it, however..."
"You think we were summoned here?" Paul asked.
"That's my only guess, as to why they choose us…I have no idea." Marshall's voice trailed off.
"Um…do you hear something?" Penelope said. Everyone went quiet and just faintly a sound could be heard. It was impossible to make out what it was because of how damn quiet it was, but it was there. Coming from the shirtless goat furry sitting on the altar.
"It's coming from that strangely ripped statue." I mentioned.
"She's right." Samuel said as he got close to the statue. "What the hell is that." He pointed to a thin cable that was running from the inside of the statue's leg fur towards its head, more specifically into its ear.
"Is it like a robot or something?" Roger asked.
Samuel followed the wire and climbed up onto the altar to look into the statue's ear. As he did that, I could have sworn I saw its fucking mouth open and close, ever so slightly like it was talking.
"Wait! Did it just say something?" Penelope asked.
"I saw it's mouth move. Fucker is creeping me out." I said.
Samuel reached into the statue's ear and retrieved what the cable was connected to. It was an earbud. The sound we were hearing emanating from it. Samuel lifted it to his ear, his face contorted with abject confusion.
"Boston?...I actually really like this song."
"I UNDERSTAND ABOUT INDECISION! I DON'T CARE IF I GET BEHIND!" The goatman sang out, scaring the absolute shit out of each and every one of us. Samuel went flying off the altar, scrambling to get away from it as fast as he could.
"PEOPLE LIVING IN COMPETITION!" The goatman jumped off the alter and each of us backed away from him a good ten feet. "ALL I WANT IS TO HAVE MY PEACE OF MIND!"
This guy…this FUCKING goat-headed piece of degenerate garbage made me damn near piss myself…singing the chorus to Peace of Mind.
The goatman began laughing his ass off, doubling over with tears in his stupid goat eyes. He took the other earplug out of his ear and shoved both of them somewhere in his leg fur.
"What the fuck?! Why the fuck is it talking?!" Samuel yelled.
"Cause I can? God damn, I got you guys good…whew…it has been too long. I missed fucking with humans. To think it's only been a year." The goatman said, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"Are you the one who brought us here?" Marshall asked. The goatman nodded.
"Got that right…well, not you all specifically. I don't get to choose who shows up see. There's just a random pool that gets drawn of potential candidates, and they just get distributed to me and others."
"Who the hell are you?! And can you take that stupid goat head off!" I yelled.
"Me? You…you don't recognize me? None of you?" The goatman sounded offended and a little hurt. All of us shook our heads in unison.
"I'm Baphomet…you know I do the pose." Baphomet held his left hand up and the right to his side. "C'mon~ everybody knows the pose I get asked to do it at parties all the time!" Still seeing no reaction from us, Baphomet stopped posing and looked quite defeated, like someone took a shit on his pancakes.
"Wow…usually there’s one …that's really upsetting actually." Baphomet's head drooped low. I walked over to him and grasped onto his horns and began trying to yank that ludicrously well-detailed goat head off.
"What the hell are you doing! Stop!" Baphomet yelled, trying to push me away.
"I want to see your face, jackass! Why the hell is it not coming off!" Suddenly I felt this unbearable pain in my stomach and collapsed to the ground, coughing and choking. It felt like something was trying to dig its way out of my body. I couldn't move my body even if I tried, it was as if every muscle I had was constricting.
"What did you do to her?!" Marshall yelled. Penelope knelt down beside me and held my head in her lap. Nice girl…don't agree with whatever perfume she was wearing though. Paul came and bent over next to her.
"Let me take a look." He said. That’s right…he said he was a doctor.
"Yeah, worry about the woman who assaulted me…she'll be fine. I just gave her a little shock to calm her down. Same goes for any of you if you get uppity with me. And for your information, missy, this head doesn't come off. It's real." Baphomet said.
God, his voice makes him sound like such a cunt. Like someone who graduated from hell's equivalent to Harvard off of the back of daddy's bank account. If I wasn't risking seizing on the ground again, I'd have kicked him in his goat dick as soon as I got up.
"That's insane! What the fuck are you then?!" Samuel yelled.
"I'm a fucking demon, you idiots!…Wait…correction. I'm a fucking deity, you idiots! I get it mixed up sometimes." Baphomet said.
The pain finally subsided a little, and I sat up, still feeling like my stomach was about to make a second attempt to liberate itself from my body. Penelope and Paul asked if I was feeling alright. I answered them with a "Fuck no!" but it really wasn't all too bad after a few moments.
"I assume you can let us out of here." Marshall said.
"You assume correctly."
"Lemme guess, you ain't gonna do that though, are ya?" I said.
"Another great guess. You lot are stuck here with me until you take care of a little business for me." Baphomet said.
"Business?" Paul asked.
"Yeah, you know all about that, don't ya old boy. This isn't your under the table bribery type affair however. This business is of a more…how should I put it…violent affair. Allow me to explain."
Baphomet walked over to the altar and slammed his fist on top of it. The middle of the altar opened up, and a television screen rose out from inside of it. Baphomet cleared his throat as a PowerPoint presentation played on the screen with slides detailing the subject matter he was talking about. Man…Microsoft is really doing well for themselves; even supernatural beings are using their stuff.
"Ahem. Welcome new recruits, you have been accepted to become hunters of God's undesirables." Baphomet's tone shifted to overtly serious.
"God's undesirables? What the hell are those?" Samuel asked.
"If you shut your mouth and didn't interrupt, I could tell you. God's undesirables are any spirits, demons, deities, angels, monster, fiends, etc. that are hanging here on Earth that the boy's up top or down below decide need to be wiped from existence. They are some pretty bad dudes, so they need to be dealt with. Hey! I see you! You want to ask why the fuck this is a thing, keep that mouth fucking closed. You don't need to know the why, you aren't here to ask questions."
"You just want us to blindly accept what you're saying?" I asked.
"That would be preferable yes."
I hate this fuckin’ guy…I wonder if all pagan deities are as much of assholes as goat boy here.
"Now, your job is simple. I will teleport you to a location, you find the target there, and you kill them."
"How?" Marshall asked. Baphomet took a deep breath in through his nose.
"I'm glad you asked. See lucky for you lot, you got put in my care." Baphomet kicked the altar and the front, back, and side panels of it lifted up and flipped over. "See, I've been a warden for a while now, so I've got a lot of equipment…ready…" Baphomet's stopped talking when he looked at the altar. The sides flipped out, forming what I would have assumed to be a wall you would store things like guns and the like on.
Only there were just six handguns on the corner of on the entire thing. Judging from the expression of sheer bewilderment on Baphomet's face, like he just witnessed the love of his life being railed by his best friend. I think it was safe to assume this was an unexpected turn of events.
"Give me a moment." Baphomet reached into his leg fur and pulled out a cellphone and angrily dialed in a number. "Hey Bartholomew, buddy, uh…where's my shit at?...the equipment you know…performance review? I missed it? No one fucking informed me of that now, did they?! Right, guess we just start over, right!? Oh fuck off… I'm glad you're wife left you." Baphomet hung up the phone and turned back to us.
"Alright, so you're gonna use those pistols to do it. Best I can do right now for ya." Baphomet said.
Roger was quick to run over and pick up one of the handguns, fiddling around with it like it was a toy. Samuel and Marshall were soon over there as well, and gradually the rest of us walked over.
"Oh man, look at it! Like a Glock 19. A bit bigger and heavier, looks like the barrel is wider too. Hey, goatman! What caliber this baby fire?" Roger asked. Why did I find it worrying that he was getting real talkative now that firearms were involved? I'm sure it's just a healthy outlet for him.
"Caliber? Kid, I don't fucking know. They shoot a special kind of bullet. It's made of pure energy. Energy that is capable of killing supernatural entities. I call it "God Killer Energy." Cool name, right?" Baphomet said.
"Sounds stupid…you get that shit from an anime you weeb?" Roger asked.
"That's not very nice to say…" Baphomet frowned. Then there was the sound of a click and then another click. I looked over to see Roger pointing his gun at Baphomet and pulling the trigger repeatedly. As the gun failed to fire, he looked down at it, disappointed.
"Hmm…I don't see a safety on it…why won't it fire."
"What the fuck is your problem?! Did you just try to shoot me?!" Baphomet yelled.
"Yeah…but it didn't work. This gun must be broken."
"They aren't broken, they are disabled while you’re in the warehouse! Why the fuck would I let you shoot me?!"
Seems about right he wouldn't let us have any chance to kill him. As much of a pretentious moron as he seemed to be, we were still his captives. I picked up one of the handguns and examined it. It looked relatively normal, though there were a couple LCD displays located on the grip and back of the slide. The one on the end of the slide showed a simple white square, while the one on the grip displayed "100%." It seems I wasn't the only one to take notice of them.
"These displays on the gun, the one is obviously battery life, but what about the other one on the slide." Marshall asked, pointing to the back of the slide.
"That indicates the charge level of your shot. The way these guns work is that they fire after you release the trigger, so the longer you hold the trigger down, the more powerful the shot will be. However, this is at the cost of extra battery life. I'd be stingy with it if I were you, there are no backup batteries to take with you."
"I also have to ask…why are we being tasked to do this? We're just ordinary people." Marshall said.
"Yeah, you're expecting us to hunt some paranormal shit. How the hell did we qualify for this?" Samuel asked.
"You qualified when all of you committed your crimes. Transgressions against your fellow man. Had you not been brought here…well, you'd all be burning in hell right now." Baphomet answered.
"The hell are you talking about? I never committed any crime!" Samuel shouted. Baphomet laughed…this one wasn't like his earlier fit. It was far more sinister, his voice deepening.
"Why don't you ask your wife about that? Can't remember? Did all the alcohol make you forget."
Samuel went silent, his teeth gritted, and the gun shook in his hand. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about! I never touched her!"
"Just like you never touched your daughter…right, Sammy boy?"
Samuel stepped towards Baphomet, but as soon as he got in front of him, Samuel collapsed to the ground, his body seizing up. Baphomet knelt down and bent over close to Samuel's face.
"Without you around, I bet your family is happier now than they ever were for the past ten years. Daddy can't hit mommy when he's dead now, can he?" Baphomet stood up and looked around at each of us, his gaze made my skin crawl. It was as if his eyes were looking straight into my fucking soul. Like he could see things about me that I couldn't see about myself.
"Each of you deserves to be here, some more than others. You're each scum in your own special little ways. The excrement of humanity funneled to me so you can serve a purpose and atone for your crimes. You should each be groveling before me, thanking me from the bottom of your shit-stained hearts that I allow you another shot at life." Baphomet walked over to Marshall and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"You know all about monsters, don't you, detective? You know that the best way to fight them is with another monster."
Marshall looked up at Baphomet with a look of hate like I had never seen on a man. Baphomet let go of Marshall and walked away from us. He took a look over at Paul and Penelope.
"Plan on playing the pacifist, pathetic people like you will be nothing but a burden. You going to just rely on the others to do the job for you? You're used to that though…might be a hard habit to break."
Penelope clenched her fist, tears welling up in her eyes. She quickly walked over and grabbed one of the handguns. Holding the gun, she looked so…uncomfortable, I just hoped she didn't end up hurting herself with it. Paul stood his ground, refusing to pick up a gun. This somber expression on his face.
"I can't do that…" Paul muttered. Baphomet shrugged his shoulders.
That was the other thing we had in common…we were all bound for a one-way ticket to the inferno. I couldn't help but be curious about what my fellow sinners had done to get here. I could make guesses. With some of them, it would be easy to guess. I didn't really care all that much though, the only thing I really cared about was going home. Even if it meant participating in this goat's hunt.
Baphomet snapped his fingers, and the panels all retreated back to their original positions on the altar. The screen once again rose out, this time displaying the image of a young woman's face. Her skin was extremely pale, like she'd never been in the sun a day in her life. It was also translucent, revealing loads of blood vessels that ran across her cheeks and forehead. Even stranger, her hair looked to be made of flesh.
"Take a good look at her, that's your target. You are going to find them and kill them. After you do that, I will bring you back here. You will have an hour to do so, I suggest you work fast. If you fail to complete the task, all of you will be eliminated. You will be graded once the mission is done based on how well you completed the mission. Now, good luck to all of you. I won't miss you if you don't come back." Baphomet snapped his fingers once again.
Suddenly we were standing in a park. I recognized it, it was Reticer Park, the largest park in the city. Usually, it was packed with shitloads of people, but it was currently the middle of the night, and the place was dead.
All six of us were standing together at the northern entrance to the park. Looking out the gates I could see cars driving by, if we wanted to, I guess we could‘ve just walked out then and headed home. Problem was that none of us thought that Baphomet was lyin' about that sixty-minute time limit.
Samuel got to his feet, this expression of rage on his face. "Out of my fucking way!" Samuel shoved Marshall aside and continued deeper into the park.
"Where the hell are you going? We should stay in a group!" Marshall called after him. Samuel gave the cold shoulder and just kept walking. Guy had a big fuckin' chip on his shoulder that's for sure.
Roger also started walking away, this unsettling grin on his face, the kid looked like a little psycho.
"You too?" Marshall asked.
"It's just a woman. It shouldn't be too hard to deal with her at all. I'll take care of this so you all can just relax." Watching that kid walk away, I can't say I was too upset. The further I was away from him, the better. Looking over at Marshall, I could tell he was gettin' quite annoyed.
"Damn fools. That goat doesn't expect any of us to live through this." Marshall said. "Splitting up is just going to lead to our chances dwindling even further. Not to mention that Paul here refused to pick up a gun."
"Sorry, I just cannot endorse any sort of violence…" Paul said.
"You deciding to hold to that ethic of yours could get us killed, I hope you understand that." Marshall replied, Paul frowned and shook his head.
"What's the plan then? You seem like the take-charge kind of guy, dick." I said, Marshall not taking too kindly to my innocent little stab.
"First, we should get our bearings. Is there a map or anything around here, I've never frequented the park much." Marshall said.
"If we head down a little further in, there should be an information board to our right." Penelope said.
"We can head there first, it might give us an idea of where to look. Next, we should set up a formation. Naomi, you've used a gun before, right?" Marshall asked.
"How'd ya guess?" I replied.
"It's just an observation. You're showing off proper trigger discipline, your grip is stable, I also saw how you analyzed the gun back in the warehouse. It seems clear you've handled firearms before."
"Right, I've gone shooting once or twice." I said.
"You can handle the rear then, I'll take point, and Penelope and Paul will stay between us. Paul, you might not have a gun, but you can still be useful as an extra set of eyes." Marshall looked over at Penelope.
"You shouldn't hold your finger over the trigger like that until you want to shoot. It would be bad if the gun accidentally discharged." He told her.
"S-sorry…" Penelope said, moving her trembling finger away from the trigger. That girl still looked cute, even when she was scared shitless. I got into my spot at the back of the group, and we started walking into the park.
"So…Penelope…You come here often?" I asked.
I used to come here with my family a lot…not so much anymore since I started college." She said.
"College girl, huh? Where ya attending?"
"Wyladder University."
"Oh, my daughter is going to be attending there next year. It is a very prestigious place. I graduated from there actually. Paul said.
"Cut the idle chatter." Marshall chimed in.
"What crawled up your ass?" I asked, giving Marshall a sideways glance.
"I'd like to focus on the matter at hand is all." Marshall didn't turn to look back at me when he spoke. Just kept walking forward.
Something about the guy's nature made me think he was a military guy. I’ve heard it’s common for veterans to enter law enforcement after serving. Part of me wanted to ask him about it, but I had a feelin' he wouldn't give me much of an answer.
We got to the information board and takin' a look at it; the park was pretty big. If we were to try and search the whole damn thing, it would take well over an hour.
"Where the hell do we start?" I asked.
"Without any information to go off of, the best place would probably be the pond. We would have a good amount of visibility around that area, fewer trees in the way. It shouldn't take long to look around."
"What do we do if we don't find anything there? We only have an hour…even less since we've been here." Penelope said.
"Then we will need to split up and actively search that way. Obviously, we want to avoid that, but the time limit might force us to." Marshall replied.
With that, we started walking towards the man-made pond at the center of the park. Speaking of visibility, it was dark as shit out. The only light we had to make anything out with were the intermittently placed light posts. And whoever was the guy that laid out their positions fucked them all up cause they were not evenly spaced whatsoever. Most of the time, we'd be walkin' around just in darkness. I was worried that if we even did come across something, we wouldn't be able to see it.
Arriving at the pond, we started walkin’ around the path by the water. Wasn't much to see around there, a few benches lined pond edge and there was a tiny veranda on one end. No sign of anyone else there besides the ducks sleeping on the water and us.
Suddenly there was this loud screaming. It was like someone was gettin' stuck in the guts with a knife over and over. Just screaming bloody murder, it didn't take long for the voice to be recognized.
"That… That's Samuel, isn't it?" Paul mumbled, just loud enough to be heard.
"Christ…it sounds like he's fuckin' dying." I said.
"Let's go…" Marshall said, starting in the direction of the screams. The rest of us followed behind him. As we got closer and closer to the cries, we ended up going off of the paved paths. As we were moving through the trees, Samuel came into sight.
He stuck to the side of a tree, this blood-covered web-like substance wrapped around his torso. His face was twisted with pain as he continued crying out. His eyes had been removed through some means and judging from the blood I could just barely see seeping from his ears, I'd say he lost that sense too. Paul suddenly went past Marshall and started to approach the tree.
"What are you doing?" Marshall said, grabbing Paul by the shoulder.
"I can't just let him suffer up there."
"Look at him, someone or something put him up there. They’re trying to draw us out! Don't be reckless."
"What are we supposed to do then!?" Paul shouted. Marshall moved Paul to the side and held up the handgun taking aim at Samuel, pulling back the trigger. The gun clicked, and the square displayed on the back of the slide began to rotate.
"You can't be serious!" Paul yelled.
"This is all we can do for him. We still have to find what did this , trying to care for someone that injured is a waste of time."
Marshall let go of the trigger, the barrel of the gun crackled, and arcs of electricity sparked out from the barrel of the gun. I have no clue what the hell shot out of the gun, but whatever it was blew off the top half of Samuel's head. A result that shocked all of us.
"That was horrible…how could you just kill somebody like that?" Paul asked.
Before Marshall could answer, something hung down from the tree behind Paul. I didn't see it long enough to make out any features, except for its spindly, absurdly long limbs. The fucking thing had six arms, each of which it wrapped around Paul, before retreating back up into the tree. Whatever that fuckin’ thing was, it was not fuckin’ normal.
Paul cried out for help as he disappeared into the leaves. Blood and bits of flesh rained down on us from above as whatever had him began doing god knows what. Marshall aimed up into the branches and started shooting. He fired off a couple of rounds and whatever had grabbed Paul let out a hideous shriek. We all covered our ears. The sound was like someone digging a screwdriver down my ear canal and tryin' to fuck my brain with it.
It darted through the trees away from us, dropping Paul onto the ground. His arms were torn to shreds by whatever had grabbed him. His flesh peeling away in ribbons and the white of bone peeking out. While he was a sobbing mess, Paul was still alive.
"We've got to move out from under these fucking trees!" Marshall yelled. Penelope ran over and helped Paul to his feet, supporting him as we retreated back to the pond.
I followed behind Penelope and Paul, trying to act as a guard. I mean… I'm no hero but if I play my cards right, who knows what could happen, right? What can I say, I have a weakness for tryin' to woo adorable girls. Even in life or death situations…especially in those situations. Don't judge me. Besides I was supposed to be the rearguard anyway.
As we got to the pond, I heard this loud skittering coming from behind me. Turning around, I saw this creepy six-armed bitch crawling at me like Sadako. It was that woman that we were shown to be the target. She's butt-fuckin' naked, her body having that same translucent skin to where you can see all her inner workings. I don't remember much from anatomy class, but I’m certain this bitch had some extra organs in there I don’t remember being in the human body. She was a fast motherfucker too, she was almost right on top of me as soon as I turned around. I shot twice, one blast missed, and the other blew away a chunk of flesh from her arm.
This spiderlady leaped up and tackled my ass to the ground, causing me to drop my gun. She dug her dirt-coated nails into my sides and arms. I tried to push her off, but she was way too fuckin' heavy. To make matters worse, her breath smelled like rancid ass and she was drooling just…just all over my fucking face. Shit was disgusting, hell some of it got on my shirt…still can't get the smell out three washes later.
As I'm lying there struggling, things turn even more fucked. This woman's bottom jaw literally rips in two revealing these huge mandibles with fangs that I don't think are there to give me a tender acupuncture treatment. I'm fucking screaming at the top of my lungs for these cunts to do something to help, when finally the woman's head just bursts. It was…mildly upsetting to be drenched in the white blood and viscera of whatever the fuck that chick was. A lot less upsetting than being dead though. Thank god my mouth was closed when it happened…
I pushed the woman's now limp body off of me and jumped up from the ground as fast as I could. I wiped away as much of the bodily fluids as I could from my face and picked back up my handgun. I took a closer look at my would-be assassin, her arms and legs were twitching and beginning to curl together. Kid of an unsettling sight.
"Took you fucking long enough!" I shouted.
"Had to let the gun charge…looks like that’s a lot more effective." Marshall stated nonchalantly as if I wasn't moments from death.
"That was her, wasn't it? The target." Penelope asked.
"Yeah…I got a real good fuckin' look. Without a doubt, that's our girl. Well, that was our girl at least." I replied.
"Ah damn! You guys got it…I was hoping I'd get to test out this gun." Roger came walking along the pond towards us, this look of disappointment on his face.
"Look who it is, surprised you're not dead." I said.
"Why…wait what happened to him." Roger said, pointing to Paul, who looked to be about to pass out from blood loss.
"She happened to him." Penelope said, pointing to the spiderlady.
"And that one blonde guy? Where's he?"
"He didn't make it. The woman got to him first." Marshall mentioned as he walked over and examined the corpse.
"Oh, he died…real bummer." The kid didn't sound too sorry about that.
"You know the same thing could have happened to you." Penelope said.
"No way, a real man wouldn't get killed off by some woman. Even if she was a monster." Roger smirked.
I know what you're thinking, and the temptation was there. But I do have my own moral ethics I sometimes begrudgingly have to follow.
"Hey…didn't that goat guy say we would be taken back after the target was killed?"
"That's right he did say that." I replied. That knowledge had slipped my mind what with all the almost dying all. But she was correct, we should have gone back, but we were still here. That was when it hit me. Baphomet had never said that there was only one target.
I was brought back to reality by Penelope's screams, as the severed head of Roger came rolling to my feet. I felt a strange sense of relatability with him for the first time since meeting the guy. Followed immediately by utter terror as I looked over to see his body being suspended in the air by another spiderwoman, her mandibles digging deep into the flesh where Roger's head used to be.
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2019.09.06 05:08 kittehgoesmeow What A Day: Paint The Townhall Green by Brian Beutler, Priyanka Aribindi & Crooked Media (09/05/19)

"And of course, I only said yes because after years of my personal lower back pain, I am now pain-free."—Seb Gorka “reluctantly” hawking fish oil pills
Climate News Network For seven hours on Wednesday, the 10 leading Democratic presidential candidates responded to questions from CNN anchors and audience members in a first-of-its-kind candidate forum dedicated exclusively to the issue of climate change.
How’d it go? Pretty well! And there was some news:

Forum vs. Debate. Climate activists wanted the Democratic Party to sanction a climate change debate, but instead they got a seven hour series of town halls. Not ideal.
That said, it was remarkably substantive! The questioners in the audience kept most of the cable-news nonsense to a minimum and the anchors seemed unusually aware that they’d be in for criticism if they boiled climate change down to...well...cable news nonsense. Chris Hayes, a progressive host on MSNBC, who has grappled publicly with the ratings challenge of covering climate change, tipped his hat to his competitors. Ideally, this kind of thing can happen on a regular basis, instead of jamming a seven hour special in between debates.
Under The Radar A federal judge has ruled that the government’s database of “known or suspected terrorists” violates the constitutional rights of American citizens whose names are on the list. Since the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, the government has relied increasingly on watchlists with opaque standards, prompting backlash from civil liberties advocates.
As of 2017, 1.2 million people were on this particular list—4,600 of whom were American citizens. Being on it invites heavier scrutiny at airports and by police, and can prevent people from entering the country. The plaintiffs in this case were a group of nearly two dozen Muslim U.S. citizens who challenged the list’s constitutionality, and the judge decided that the “risk of erroneous deprivation of plaintiffs’ travel-related and reputational liberty interests” were not sufficiently addressed by the existing safeguards.
Look No Further Than The Crooked Media Lovett or Leave It is coming to NYC’s Radio City Music Hall on September 13th. That’s what happens when your podcast is a hit—you do a show at Radio City. And that’s not all. Guess who’s coming with?
We’ve got Stacey Abrams, and Desus & Mero, and Wyatt Cenac, and Alyssa Mastromonaco, and Dulcé Sloan. Eat shit, Rockettes.
Come see us LIVEhttps://go.crooked.com/radiocity
What Else Hurricane Dorian, now a Category 2 storm, has reached South Carolina, flooding Charleston, and leaving over 200,000 people across the Carolinas and Georgia without power.
President Trump will take $3.6 billion in funding from 127 Defense Department projects, including schools and daycare facilities for military families, to fund his dumb wall. Nearly all Republicans voted in support of the fraudulent emergency declaration Trump used to raid these funds, including several vulnerable incumbent Republican senators.
The U.S. and China will resume trade talks in Washington in early October, despite the fact that new tariffs $100 billion of Chinese imports, as well as retaliatory tariffs by the Chinese went into effect on Sunday.
Google has agreed to pay a $170 million fine for illegally collecting personal information from kids and using it to target them with ads on YouTube. $136 million will go to the Federal Trade Commission, while the remaining $34 million will go to New York State.
The Department of Education has fined Michigan State University a record $4.5 million for its “complete failure to protect students” from Larry Nassar—the disgraced former sports doctor who abused hundreds of women and girls, including the country’s leading gymnasts. The Michigan State endowment is nearly $3 billion.
The House Judiciary Committee has subpoenaed the Department of Homeland Security for materials related to Trump’s repeated offers to pardon officials who break the law to implement his immigration policies. The subpoena gives acting DHS secretary Kevin McAleenan until September 17 to turn over the materials.
The sequel to Crazy Rich Asians lost its would-be screenwriter, Adele Lim, after offering her one-eighth of her white co-writer’s salary.
The NFL will return for its 100th season tonight when the Chicago Bears take on the Green Bay Packers.
Rapper Nicki Minaj says she’s retiring. See ya in a couple months for the comeback album.
What In The World? Protests in Hong Kong will continue, despite leader Carrie Lam’s decision to withdraw the controversial extradition bill that ignited them in the first place. The protesters, who have built a larger pro-democracy movement, issued four main demands apart from the bill’s withdrawal:
  1. An independent inquiry into the police response to the protests
  2. Amnesty for people arrested during the protests
  3. More democratic reforms
  4. For officials to stop characterizing their protests as “riots”
Is That Hope I Feel? In the short time since Walmart asked customers to stop openly carrying firearms in their stores, Kroger, Walgreens, CVS, and Wegmans—four of the country’s largest grocery stores and pharmacies—have followed suit.
In announcing its official statement, Walgreens recognized the advocacy of activist group Moms Demand Action in affecting their decision. Even if the government won’t act on this issue with Republicans in power, you still have power of your own. Activism works. Keep it up.
Support Moms Demand Action and learn how to volunteer
Enjoy
Stephanie Grisham on Twitter: "Hi @CNN, I know you guys are busy analyzing lines on a map, but perhaps you use your time to study up on U.S. geography?"
CNN Communications on Twitter: "Thanks, Stephanie. Yes, we made a mistake (which we fixed in less than 30 seconds). And now we are admitting it. You all should try it sometime."
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2019.06.22 15:23 vcardthrow1 Nn candid girls

Some of you might remember this movie.
I was 16 in 2004 and it struck me that if I had been born lucky, I might hope to look like Emmy Rossum - uh, with $100,000 of plastic surgery. As of now, I tell myself I bear a passing resemblance if someone beat her in the face with a baseball bat repeatedly, broke her jaw and nose and let them grow in crooked, and infested her with acne and body hair everywhere. And gave her a concave rib cage with shit tits and a potbelly.
I am not a musical/theater fan so I don't criticize from that viewpoint; it goes for camp and shmaltz while trying to be loyal to the original opera, with 35 year old Gerard Butler to 18 y.o. Emmy Rossum.
Every now and then I rewatch this movie just for Butler. I have spent the last few days watching this particular song over and over, probably the only scene in a gaudily pretty but weakly-scripted (and frequently weakly acted) film I like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeNnSm4uzGA
You can't leave this film without crushing on Butler but what struck me at 18 was this - imagine being the living dream of the beautiful teenage girl...as Rossum was. Film reviewers noted her "aching loveliness" and beautiful voice - she has this beautiful, tiny body, skin like ivory and beige gossamer, chocolate curls (I assume she wears a weave but in real life, her hair is beautiful), a dazzling smile encased in full soft lips, delicate hands and feet and the face of an angel. As little girls, you have those moments where are arrested when you see what a really beautiful little girl looks like and wonder what terrible sin you committed that you couldn't simply have...hair like hers. Her beautiful, limpid eyes (to my disgusting sunken little pig eyes, under oily bruising circles no concealer or eye product will fix); maybe her small nose; even just skin as clear, if not capable of her luminescence. Thinness, if not her specific beautiful shape. A tenth of what she has. And what a living hell it is as an adolescent when other women bloom, and you...fester. I certainly did, especially in college, My God. All but literally, with Bukowskian, walnut-sized cysts (that I still get, not infrequently). In four years at college, I never saw another person of either gender with acne, and certainly not like mine.
I know it's stupid but in the same vein FAs complain porn and romance poisons their hearts when they watch it...well, me too. Even shitty movies like this.
When this was released, I was quietly obsessed with how beautiful she was and the risque age difference. Supposedly when hack Jerry Bruckheimer cast for this, he wouldn't even let anyone over age 25 audition. It's unsavory to me now, but nevertheless.... Can't some of you relate to that? Your ultimate fantasy is being treasured and admired and wooed and taken care of by an older man. Mine was. It's difficult to separate it from the disgusting predation of teenage girls. In that fantasy, I guess the big difference is respect. Real respect, beyond protectiveness, that a teenage girl isn't just a stupid little thing to be tricked, gawked at - but is a human being with her own desires and dignity.
And being that pretty and enchanting to men of any age and sophisticated enough for the older ones I had the deepest (and most fearful) crushes on, or beautiful and winsome enough that they didn't care about the ignorance of youth...was something beyond my wildest dreams. Inspiring that hunger in them. That's something I understood then and do now (with a not small amount of side-eye of course) - age doesn't matter; men are always drawn to beauty. I wasn't old enough to be repulsed or indignant of the fact that 50 year olds think beautiful 24 year olds on online dating apps are just dying to date them (and the culture was different) - I just couldn't imagine someone of any age that I admired and desired...wanting me. And knowing what to do, being worthy of it.
It truly is a pretty embarrassing movie, but he cuts such a dashing figure. And more, the way he holds her in his arms, strokes her neck, strokes her hair and face.... made and still makes me me sick with longing, that awareness of your own desires, and consequent ridiculous hopelessness of those feelings for you. When I was 16, as pretty, healthy or happy as I would ever be - hairy, graceless, horrifically awkward, dull, potato nosed and potato faced, and incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin, but my skin was clear and my face wasn't left with the tire tracks of acne up and down my flat sunken nasolabial folds; my forehead wasn't mottled with nasty swollen oil glands, repeat acne cysts that never really heal and leave ugly pink marks of damaged skin, wrinkles and PIH yet. How do I describe this? These scenes made me feel so small and like...disgusting, inept child and still do, takes me back to that state of mind and the time in my life when this movie came out. Not simply because adolescence is close to childhood - but it truly is moments like that that you can appreciate what women naturally offer men, and that they know how to handle themselves.
A million horrible revelations in the life of an ugly/FA woman.
It made my insides quake at 16; and it is so much worse now in my 30s. "Expired" romantically, as our counterparts drool over women half their age; yet still child-like, for so many reasons - still powerless - still utterly repulsive to myself and to men. The poison of jealousy washes over me as I look at young women whose bare backs and arms, whose beautiful bodies and skin and faces just...well, I can imagine how men feel looking at them.
As an ugly woman you take that knowledge, hold it up to your own unlovely person, and want to die inside. Eh?
In and of itself - I cannot imagine looking in the mirror and actively being happy at what I see, or wanting to take photos without a second's though about my disgusting, ugly fat bulldog face, my hairiness, the horrible acne I'll have probably right through fucking menopause, the scars, my stupid underbite, my fucked up crossjaw and teeth. I can't imagine not feeling the panicked need to conceal all the disgusting acne and body hair on my shoulders, back, chest and stomach all time. Not being horrified looking down at my own arms even after I've tried trimming the hair.
The idea of being naked with a man, even after being waxed within an inch of my life (and breaking out all over as a result)....you might as well suggest I let a surgical candidate practice on me without anesthesia for fun. (LOL, and the horrors of my medical history and health are another story).
I am reminded in deep, deep misery that I will never know the pleasures of feeling that desire in my body and soul for a man, and having him reciprocate. Of feeling anything but instinctive, inchoate horror when I imagine him laying hands on my disgusting body and my heart stopping when he brings his lips to my putrid mouth and face. I always imagine physical pain and humiliation as the inevitable outcome of these moments. Nothing in real life could compare to my fantasies where I am reassured over and over (and simply don't need to be - I am worthy, and need not question it from a visceral horror that lives in memories and bones) and his embrace never wavers as I'm enveloped, warm waves beneath me.
I will never feel that hunger and experience its satiation. Whatever pleasures a human being can hope to feel in a mortal body are withheld from me; the whole of the life of this machine has been characterized by four things only-weariness, pain, helplessness, and fear. Maybe guilt - on weekends to make up for lost sleep...well, I lose them to punch drunkenedness. It gets worse by the year. Or guilt after the stupor of eating too much. Every time it hits me, this and sleep are the only forms of physical gratification I'll ever feel.
Never, never, never is this all so potently excruciatingly as when observing beautiful women, young women - watching them be wooed by the men they're with or in shmaltz like this, or just going about their lives, wondering about their jobs, their friends, their parents, and how people treat them, how men look at them, how they feel about themselves, and what it's like to have such beautiful skin or bodies or faces, what the currency of female beauty purchase from a cruel and irrational world that is so grateful to beauty. Beyond being reminded that beyond being admired, I am remanded - this is demanded to be loved. I am overwhelmed by her as I call to mind my disgusting body, standing before her, hit with the revelation as I take her in - that's who will be loved and sought after. How could she not? That's someone who has the eyes-teeth-nose-cheekbones-skin-body to pursue affection.
And you? God couldn't even give you a passably ordinary-shaped skull.
It fucking makes me want to die.
I never grew up.
That's really what all this shit reminds me - more than a few of us in these subs hope and hope as miserable frightened teenagers not only to be worthy of love, protection and desire from men, and the power other women have - it's a living death to wake up day after day (a day older in each), year after year, and realize you never fucking will. Your ugliness or whatever it is, whatever the nature of the wall between you and that realm other women take for granted - specifically pretty women (and my God, there are so many of them, so many who take the simple ability to wear a sleeveless shirt without terror and self-disgust on a hot day for granted) - whatever it is that lays a landscape of invisibility at best and ridicule/abuse at worst before you, to that of desire and fulfillment - is a problem you will never solve. Plastic surgery doesn't really fix it for most of us and never will; I would need 50,000 and to simply check out of life for a few years to recover from something like bimax and all the procedures I'd need simply to be able to take a photo, and have it look like the ugly but passably-for-public face I see in the mirror.
It's the lost time, the lack of positive life experiences, the lack of validation and the doors it opens when people invest in you, teach you things, give you something to talk about other than - well - this.
If you relate I'm listening.
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