2020.10.27 16:25 HioOpvia17 Spying on neighbor having sex
EDIT : Sorry the title is really misleading now, eventually I was just over reacting with the other girl, there's no problem there.
So I'm gonna try to make a long story short first, and ask the main questions with little context right away then write up the story because it is a long one.
TLDR : gf and I were dating for 1.5y, no pb, we move different countries for studies, I get really disappointed bc of corona and my general inability/hard time to meet new people. Communication fucks up at some point, she breaks up bc we are "not compatible".
-I really want my ex back, the reasons we broke up are circumstantial, I checked the reasons she told me she didn't feel happy in the end and I do believe that I can improve myself and work on them so that they won't be a problem again. Do you think this checks out? (I told some friends about it, none of them said "dude that's fkin bullshit").
--Not needed -- -I met another girl, on the day of my breakup, we were headed for something very casual so I didn't tell her right away about my situation, but my feelings for my ex changed and I had to tell her for the sake of honesty. How can I not hurt her? Could you imagine a world where we stay friends? --Not needed --
So, very long story ahead : me (24M) and my GF (21F) had been dating for 1 year and 6 months but due to studying we had to move the relationship into a long distance relationship for the expected period of september to february, we broke up 10 days ago. (1). For the 1 and a half year we dated, there has been nearly no issue.
The problems start when I move to Barcelona (where I study for the last year of engineering school), I get there and realize that I don't know anyone, have to wear a mask everywhere, find out all my classes are online, bars are limited capacity and close early, events aren't planned yet bc most of the students start their classes after me, my landlord is annoying, the neighbors want us to be completely quiet after 9pm... I'm really disappointed and start to really wish I had real classes and friends, my roommates are nice but we don't really share the same activities. On the other hand I keep playing a MMORPG and spend more and more time into it, this made the other problems much worse, and I quit the game after the break up, which made me realize it was unhealthy anyway.
My ex-GF tells me "you have to go outside" "you have to meet new ppl" "you have to do sports" and without telling her I think "she doesn't realize how lucky she is to have real classes", I feel her judging me and feel envy, at some point I tell her "when we discuss me not meeting new ppl it just makes me feel bad, and I don't want to talk about it anymore"... that was a huge disruption in communication. (which was already not so good because I prefer texts than calls, but I didn't realize that it was a big mistake from me back then).
Also, she was (a bit) jealous and told me she was jealous of my roommates (both girls, with boyfriends) and wanted me to reassure her in a call. I hate jealousy and am not jealous at all myself, so I got angry while explaining it was not ok to be jealous that there was no reason for this, eventually she told me she was reassured, but it fucked communication too I think.
So, it's been a bit less than a month we haven't seen each other and communication starts to be around her mostly, I ask a lot of questions about parties (2) and what she's doing in general, I try not to talk about me because I don't have much to say. This is if I am correct the beginning of the end, at the start of october. But the messages kept coming and going, we say each other "I love you" every night, no fights... so I didn't realize at all back then.
Start of trouble : she was supposed to come visit me from 23 to 31 October, but her plane to go back to France got cancelled, on the 12th Oct, she says she has checked everything and that nothing is good for her (15h bus, or very long stopover in plane >9h) she says this and I am feeling like "fuck, I would have done these 15h of bus for her, why isn't she doing them for me?", I told her this and she didn't like it, said that it was "easy to say" but I truly meant it... Then I look for plane tickets for me to go to her place and think "why not look for her, maybe I'll find sth she missed" (3), find some (a bit) more expensive but better ones, show her and tell her "if money is the problem, I don't mind paying the few extra" (4), on friday and she tells me "I'm too tired, I'll speak to you tomorrow", "I love you".
On saturday she sends me a message "what are you doing today?" "Watched a stream, and I gotta work" "we need to talk"... calls me to tell me our personnalities are incompatibles and we don't do enough together, I tell her it's bullshit and that dating her clone is a silly objective... she doesn't want to say "I break up with you" but I get the message, I get mad but keep talking until she said some really hurtful things like "I don't want to come to help you settle in Barcelona". After a few hours, I send a message, "I'm sad, and you wouldn't say it clearly, I hate doubt, are we done?" "Yes we are done, you are a nice guy but... (usual bs)".
--Not needed anymore The other girl part : It's 4pm, I really crave getting drunk, talking to people and doing stupid stuff, so I look for a party, find one with a girl I met a week ago, go there, start talking with people and her, she tells me stuff about her sex life, starts getting close to me and we eventually kiss. I brought her back home and things end here. During the week I see a movie I'd like to see on wednesday, ask her if she wants to come with me, we go there with a friend of hers and one of my roommate, I only kiss her again right before she goes home when we were alone.
On thursday I realize I really want to get my ex back, and talk with friends about it. On saturday I talk with the girl and we have a really nice conversation but nothing very serious. I realized yesterday that I had to tell her, so I did today ("I have to tell you, I am going through a tough break up, and want to get my ex back, I can't keep not talking about this, that is dishonest. Sorry I didn't tell you earlier, my feelings are evolving. You're the only good thing that happened to me in Barcelona, thank you for this".) and she's not answering, I can't tell if it's because I wasn't honest before or because I over-reacted as we had only seen each other twice actually, I really don't want to hurt her... she is really nice and in other circumstances I would have been crazy for her. --END of that part
Why do I want to get back with my ex : I asked her questions on monday 19, she answered and I've been really thinking about what made us break up, I do think they can be fixed and that then the relationship would be absolutely great. I had blocked her after she answered my questions, out of anger, but now realize it was immature and over reacting so I unblocked her on thursday, none of us talked though. The relationship was great, I now see that there were problems like not doing enough stuff together (5) communicating about our emotions in a healthier way (6) playing too much video games (7). I don't think I won't be happy with someone else but I am sure that I'll be very happy with her if we give it a second shot so that's my reasoning.
Thank you so much for reading all of this, and even if you didn't I had to write it to put things in a very detailed way and understand things better so I don't mind.
(1): We met in the town we studied in, but I am doing my last year abroad and she went to another city to go to a university she likes.
(2) : bc I like parties and it's fun when other ppl tell me what they did during parties, not to spy on her at all, yet she didn't like me talking about parties all the time.
(3) : I had already visited her new place before going to barcelona, so I preferred a lot that she would come and not me.
(4) : she lives on her own, her money comes from scholarships and aids while I live from my parents money and have more than enough.
(5) : we still did stuff together, example in 10 days : 3 parties, 1 museum, 1 day shopping for her new appartment, 2 restaurants, but I didn't want to go on walks with no goal (I can't feel motivated for this... for unknown reasons bc I eventually like it) or go to the market with her (bc it was early and I don't wake up early, and I am not so fond of vegetables shopping). So, ok that can be seen as not enough or not new enough, but I am willing to do more and life wasn't boring.
(6) : I sometimes let stuff make me mad until I would explain them really badly so the point was there but not said the right way, I was not discussing my emotions enough.
(7) : I evaluated what I missed from playing a lot of video games, that is a lot : I read 4 books in 3 years while I used to be a big reader, my interest for classes and grades drop really hard when I find a video game I like, I haven't done sport in 10 years, I skipped time with friends and parties to play video games, I have already failed one year because of video games. So I really had to stop. This is regardless of me breaking up or not.
EDIT : removed the other girl part, I sent her a message, she said there was no need to apologize and that we had nothing serious anyway,
submitted by HioOpvia17 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
2020.10.21 10:10 ThrowRA10ystpy Spying on neighbor having sex
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He moved this relationship forward extremely quickly, but I thought it was for the best - we had all the important things in common, he's the most fun and adventurous person I have ever met. Lesson learned.
And it's been all downhill from there.
I KNOW I need to leave. I've known for a while. I'm not sure it's safe for him or I so I'm working on finding an easy way out.
From least concerning to most concerning here are the problems:
1- He is more lustful than my self esteem can handle. Like a pornstar's asshole as his computer background lustful. He follows loads of attractive women on all forms of social media. Models, athletes, fashionistas, egirls, pornstars, random women, but all of them are impossibly perfect 10s. He wants me to try to be more like them, but I never could. He'll talk about how sexy his exes were, and how great they looked in certain articles of clothing. When I showed intrest in purchasing similar things he made it clear that it would not look good on me. Once in conversation his thoughts wandered out loud and he said he would be shallow if he didn't love me. I know he meant it as a compliment to my positive qualities, but it also spoke to how he feels about my looks. I'm not even bad looking. Above average at least, skinny with a really nice ass. But he makes me feel hideous. He once went to hang out with a "friend" that I knew he had a sexual past with, assured me nothing would happen, only to admit later that he "only fingered her" and claimed he did it for me so we can have a threesome because I'm bi. I might have agreed to an open relationship if he had asked, so that just makes the lying feel even worse. The other day he got a phone call after midnight and picked up and hung up very quickly, and I had already noticed him messaging girls when he's near me, and his friend lists filling up with sexy women, I returned the favor and snooped as well, and he has been telling people we are in an open relationship (he told me in no uncertain terms that is not the case) and has asked people if they want to date him.
2- He's a bum. At first the excuses for not working made sense, and I cut him some slack. But now it's been a year of him not working while expecting me to pay for everything. He even asks me to buy him weed. He had a windfall of money that would have allowed him to buy a car, but he blew it all, and only two of the purchases were useful at all. He even went on vacation without me because he wouldn't wait a week for my schedule to clear up, and then asked me to pay for hotel stays on his trip. He wants to work now, but only if I work with him, because he has no other way to get to work.
3- His jealousy is out of control. He checks my phone regularly. He went through old messages with my ex and made me out as the bad guy for having ended that relationship with complete disregard to my reasons. He is convinced I had a sexual relationship with a male friend of mine before our relationship started and punched a hole in the wall during an argument about it, even though I would have had no reason to lie about things that would have happened before we met.
4- He's controlling. Beyond just looking through my phone, and expecting me to drop most of my friends (male and female). He started getting controlling about what I eat, saying if I love him I will eat what he tells me to, going so far as to force me to eat mud, and to forcibly make me vomit after eating food he does not approve of. At a friends house he claimed a friend of a friend was hitting on me and I didn't do enough to stop it, when the guy was actually talking to him the whole time.
5- He's rude. To some it should be towards the top, but bad manners are my biggest pet peeve because they are the easiest thing not to have. He expects things without asking first, uses racial slurs (I'm as mixed as you can get - on 23andme my entire world map is colored), doesn't stop behaviors he is told make people uncomfortable, takes things from people without asking (including my car while I am sleeping, and an entire box of kid prizes from a game, basically anything he wants), and is just generally intentionally tactless and never feels bad about it.
6- This one is VERY GRAPHIC. Proceed with caution. Sexually, he terrifies me. He never respects my boundaries when I say no, even if it may be something permanently damaging. This includes holding my legs open and sounding me with items not made for that and without lubrication, penetrating my cervix with things like that, trying to finger it, trying to fist me, not taking anal slow at all, using objects too big for me to handle yet, vaginally, anally, and in my urethra. Once he walked into the bathroom while I was naked on the toilet, tried to put a cigarette out on my nipple, and got mad at me for panicing and crying afterwards. He usually just tells me to stop whining or being a baby.
7- Animal abuse. If he finds this he'll know this is me, so I really hope this stays quiet. He only believes in eating food from the wild. No big deal, hunting is a relatively normal activity for many people. On one foraging hike though he found a box turtle and I did everything in my power to convince him not to eat it. He played along very convincingly, talking and acting as if we would keep it as a pet. As he was talking, he was in and out of the kitchen, but still within eye and ear shot. In the middle of discussing how to care for it, he walked over and picked it up, walked back to the kitchen, and dropped it, live, into a pot of boiling water, right in front of me. He later admitted it was on purpose, to toughen me up because I'm not tough enough for his lifestyle apparently.
8- He is batshit crazy. He suffers from paranoid delusions. He believes he is the most important person on the planet, and I'm not exaggerating. He believes he is being watched by the CIA and the FBI. He very well might be, because he sent them both very long letters on usb sticks with fantastical claims about his psychic abilities, so I imagine he is on some watchlist for weirdos. He has accused me on multiple occasions of having been sent by them or the Vatican or MI5 to influence the way he thinks and harness his power. He thinks not only that the food supply in general is poisoned to kill us, but specifically anything intended for him, that if he plans a grocery store trip or foraging outing in advance, someone will race to beat him there and poison his food. Everyone who walks down the street is a spy. People in a sattelite watch his life like it is a tv show and send people to mess with him. His brother tried to kill him. His mother tried to kill him. His ex's family tried to kill him, everyone is out to get him. Covid is a hoax to cover up the food poisoning and that's the real reason people are dying. He says people whisper things to him that they shouldn't know about. He did get a schizophrenia diagnosis as a result of his court ordered mental health treatment - court ordered due to erratic behavior before, during, and after two seperate arrests for felonies.
Now, like I said, it's obvious I need to leave, but 1- I don't really feel safe doing so, and 2- I genuinely feel like I would be a bad person if I did.
I have my own mental health problems. I have BPD, which is just as stigmatized as schizophrenia. I would be a hypocrite if I gave up on him for his mental health problems, when he (kind of) puts up with mine. And if I leave, no one is going to help him. He needs help and has no one to fall back on for it. I know he sounds evil because of the things he has done, but that's not 100% of who he is. There is good and beauty in him too, and it should thrive.
I did try breaking up with him once already, and while that did not go according to plan, it did have some positive effects. He's been a lot kinder to me lately, gentler, more romantic. He still has very little patience, hangs up without saying goodbye, that sort of thing, but there have been positive changes. I know he still talks to other women, but he is keeping it out of my sight at least, which is more tolerable. I'm not too worried about it because he's actually pretty bad at picking up women, so really they are no more than penpals and some catfish. He's been allowing me to eat real food, and actually buying ingredients and cooking for me. He learned that if he asks to use my car I will usually say yes, and he repays me by cleaning it for me and replacing the gasoline. He doesn't yell anymore, and is getting really good at articulating his feelings instead of lashing out. He still has a long way to go but the improvements are huge.
I have really bad anemia, and low blood pressure, so I have been known to faint every once in a while, though it seems to be becoming more frequent. Last time I fainted I ended up with a very bad injury that will take a while to recover from, and he's been very helpful with taking care of my wound. On that day he had trouble waking me up again. He actually did CPR on me on his lawn. The neighbors stood around watching like nosey unhelpful idiots, not asking if we needed help until I came to. Well when I did come ro, he was sobbing. I've never seen him come close to crying before. He was convinced I was going to die right there in his arms. I honestly thought at that point that he was only using me for money, transportation, and sex, but as of that day it became suddenly apparent that he actually loves me. Now I feel horrible about wanting to break up. Before I thought he wouldn't feel anything about it but anger, but now he's showing me he really cares, and I really don't want to hurt and betray him like that. But I also can't care for us both on my own. And I don't think I can move on from the past. And frankly, I don't think either one of us is truly happy together. I know what to do, buy I have no idea how to do it as painlessly as possible. I have even considered trying to set him up with someone else, but it may be too obvious. If only I could convince him it is his idea.
TL;DR: My paranoid schizophrenic double felon unemployed boyfriend needs to go. But I'm feeling guilty about breaking up, because he is improving, and it turns out he actually does love me. What is the safest and kindest way out?
submitted by ThrowRA10ystpy to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2020.10.14 00:25 lovetocollectmovies (Offer) Avengers: Age of Ultron 4K, Avengers: Infinity War 4K, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 4K, Finding Dory 4K, Chips 2017, The House 2017, Sin City: Dame to Kill for, The Nice Guys, Diary of Wimpy Kid: Dog Days, Ted Unrated MA and more... (Request) Vudu credits, anything I don't have
I have the following for trade. My Requests; Vudu credits, The Hunt HD, Indiana Jones: Raiders of Lost Ark ( old blue iTunes codes are redeem via Vudu now), Invisible Man 2020 4K, Sonic Hedgehog 4K, Sherlock Holmes 1 & 2 4K's, Ghost in Shell 1995 4K, Scream 2 & 3, anything I don't have. Open to all offers.
Avengers: Age of Ultron 4K MA Full Code
Avengers: Infinity War 4K MA Full code
Black Panther 4K MA Full Code
Thor: Ragnarok 4K MA Full code
Captain Marvel MA GP
Iron Man 3 HD MA
Guardians of Galaxy HD MA
Doctor Strange HD MA
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Incredibles 2 4K MA Full Code
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The LEGO Movie vuduredeem only inclues bonus features HD
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Paranormal Activity 2
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The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
The Great Gatsby
The Dark Knight Rises
Downtown Abbey: The movie 2019
How to Train Your Dragon 2
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted
A Dog's Purpose
12 Rounds 2: Reloaded
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007: Skyfall vudu or GP only
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the Grinch Who Stole Christmas 2000
London has Fallen
Ted 2 Unrated
Barbie: Video Game Movie
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Sin City 2: a Dame to Kill For
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Fast Five Extended Edition
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Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw
The Expendables 2
The Expendables 3 Theatrical
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Man of Steel
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What to Expect When Your Expecting
the Cabin in the Woods
Harry Potter and Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and Half-blood Prince
Harry Potter and Deathly hallows Part 1
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Get Smart 2008
Sex & the City: The Movie 2008
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Jurassic Park III
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Unrated
Star Trek 1 2009
Star Trek: Into Darkness
Star Trek: Beyond
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Transformers: Age of Extinction
Transformers: The Last Knight
Wrath of the Titans
World War Z
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Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain
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Alien vs. Predator 2 Film Collection HD MA 1 code, 2 movies
Atlas Shrugged Trilogy 1 code, 3 movies SD MA or Vudu
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Mamma Mia 2 Film Collection 1 code, 2 movies HD MA or Vudu
Saw: Complete 1-7 Film Collection 1 code, 7 movies HD vudu
Game of Thrones: The Complete Seasons 1-7 HD vudu Bundle 1 code, 7 Seasons Vudu redeem
Game of Thrones Season 1 HD vudu/GP or iTunes
Game of Thrones Season 3 HD Vudu/GP or iTunes
Arrow Season 3 SD Vudu
Sinister 2 HD MA ports
Krampus HD MA ports
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The Breakfast Club HD MA ports
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The Fast and Furious 1 2001 4K MA ports
2 Fast 2 Furious 4K MA ports
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Fast & Furious 4 2009 4K MA ports
Fast Five HD MA ports
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The Fate of the Furious Theatrical and Extended Edition 4K MA ports
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Pitch Perfect 2 4K MA ports
A Dog's Purpose HD MA ports
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Non-Stop HD MA ports
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Wonder Park 4K no port
Now You See Me 4K no port
Now You See Me 2 4K no port
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3022 HD iTunes no port
Gemini Man 4K no port
Star Trek: Into Darkness 4K no port
Star Trek: Beyond 4K no port
submitted by lovetocollectmovies to uvtrade [link] [comments]
2020.10.11 02:53 claireclai Spying on neighbor having sex
Species: Cat Age: 3 Sex/Neuter Status: Female, Neutered Breed: Black Cat Body Weight: 10lbs History:
Well I’ll start from the beginning. My cat/best friend, Leota, has been acting weird for the past few days and I need your help.
About a month ago, we adopted a 2nd cat, a 5 month old kitten, Poe. We kept them in separate rooms for the first few days, fed them on opposite sides of the door so they could pick up each other’s scent and then put up a screen door so they could see each other before we let the kitten out of the room.
They seemed pretty good with each other. No aggression. Leota seemed annoyed with Poe sometimes because obviously he’s a kitten and can be annoying. Poe also tried to steal her food quite a bit so we fed them in separate rooms.
Poe came home from the shelter with crusty eyes and nose. About a week later, Poe got all better and Leota’s right eye became crusty. We took her to the vet, got some eye ointment and gave it to her twice a day for about 4 days until it seemed better. We were supposed to give it for 10 days but stopped until it was better. Of course about 3 days later, her eye got crusty again so we started the eye ointment again.
She also got a rabies shot and upper respiratory shot at the vet.
About a week ago now, Leota went into her enclosed bed that she would never go into before and would not come out. Not to play, not to look out the window, nothing. She seemed lethargic. This was EXTREMELY weird. Leota is not timid and she loves people. She loves looking out the window and spying on the neighbors. Now she would just sit in her bed all day, sleep and maybe get up to eat a few bites of dinner and then go back.
I took her to the vet on Tuesday and they did a full set of tests from blood work, gave her some water and antibiotics and then we took her home. The vet said her blood work looked great and no issues were found. She had lost a little weight and was a little dehydrated.
Ever since Tuesday, Leota will still not come out of her bed or play or be interested in anything. She does use the bathroom but not as much as normal. Whenever she does come out of the enclosed bed, she does a low growl. She has never done this before in the 2 years that we’ve had her.
As of yesterday, we’re keeping her in a room with the doors closed so she feels safe and the kitten can’t bother her. She doesn’t want to walk around or look out the window. Tonight, we have managed to get her out of the bed and not hiding. She seems very tense but alert and interested. She won’t get up. If we touch her paws or underbelly, she does the low growl. If she walks around, she growls. She’s not aggressive but it seems like she’s not happy and something is wrong. She just wants to hide.
Our vet has been very helpful but she thinks Leota might just be holding a grudge against us for all the vet visits, the new kitten and for giving her the greasy eye ointment.
It’s so hard and upsetting watching her just want to sit in her bed all day, not be interested in getting up and growling when she does get up. I miss her so much and I know cats are so hard to figure out. I’m stuck between thinking something is hurting her or thinking she’s just upset from the vet visits and mad at me. If anyone has any suggestions or has ever experienced this, any help is much appreciated.
submitted by claireclai to AskVet [link] [comments]
2020.10.08 12:10 Kiriima Sex having spying neighbor on
The Great Ordeal: Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous Alpha Experience Prepared with permission and support from Owlcat Games
This material is based on the 0.4.0 - 0.4.2a version of the game, available to those who supported the Owlcat Games project during the crowdfunding campaign in March-February of this year.
At the request of the studio representatives - and the common sense of the author himself - spoilers in the review were kept to a minimum. However, the reader should keep in mind that in order to demonstrate the changes in atmosphere and narrative, I will touch on the lore of the setting, the stories of some of the characters, the backstory, and the prologue of an unreleased game. This review also presents screenshots of dialogues that are not important for the main plot.
Just in case, I remind you that the project is at the early stage of production, which is why many of the elements described in the article are only a framework for future mechanics and not their final embodiment.
Taking this opportunity, I express my gratitude to the Owlcat Games studio, as well as the administration of their official VK-group for their help in preparing this work.
Now let's get started.
Introduction. Battle for the Abyss. A big fall always starts with one small step.
Three pillars of evil from the Outer Planes: neutral daimon, law-abiding devil and chaotic demon.
The ancient lands of Sarcoris were drowned in fire and blood when Areelu Vorlesh, a scientist convicted of practicing forbidden sorcery, opened a portal to the most terrifying corner of the universe. Countless hordes of demons, led by the monstrous Baphomet and Deskari, poured into Golarion, tearing apart those who dared to resist them and poisoning the very essence of the material plane with the evil and chaos of the Abyss that gave birth to them. Where the half-wild Sarcoris once lay, now the body of Golarion is disfigured by the enormous Worldwound.
However, in the days of great disasters, it becomes ordinary to unite before the face of a common threat. The neighboring countries of Sarcoris chose not to wait for a repeat of his fate. Led by the church of the goddess Iomedae, hundreds of thousands of soldiers from all over the world have come together to fight the greatest threat to the world since the day of the Earthfall and drive the demons back into their realm of destruction and vice.
So the First Crusade began!
And the Second followed it...
And the Third...
And the Fourth...
A hundred years have passed since the discovery of the Worlwound, and every day the chances that this nightmare will end in victory are sinking deeper into darkness. Only the World Stones - divine obelisks that prevent the Worldwound from growing - give mortals an elusive hope that the threat will at least be contained.
But the Stone is a stone. It is washed out with water and crumbles from strong blows. And what crumbles can be broken.
The story of Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous begins on the day when a band of demons and cultists personally led by Lord Deskari make a surprise attack on Kenabres and severely damage one of the World Stones.
Deskari, Lord of the Locust, and Herald of the Apocalypse.
Many defenders perish, demon-worshipping spies plunge Kenabres into chaos and anarchy, and the blow of the scythe of Deskari, which killed the heroic dragon Terendelev, splits the city to deep caves, where the descendants of the first crusaders, distorted by the Abyss, hide from light and human eyes.
And it is there the future commander of the Fifth Crusade finds incredible strength.
Chapter one. Crusade of children. https://preview.redd.it/6skab2ee1vr51.jpg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6339b8039032aaf6996a202b20ea59cc317d87bd
When it comes to Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous, it's impossible not to compare it to Owlcat' first game. Pathfinder: Kingmaker at one time extremely disappointed the audience with a poor state at the time of release, but over time it still managed to earn well-deserved love and recognition.
This was largely due to the developers' sincere love for the original and their offspring, as well as the incredible hard work with which they were fixing bugs for a long time and adding more and more content to the game due to paid and free updates. When their work was completed, Kingmaker was regarded by some as one of the best CRPGs ever made.
When the sequel's Kickstarter campaign was announced, money poured into Owlcat Games, making Wrath of the Righteous the most successful project on the site in the Russian market segment.
I, like a number of others who supported the project, got access to the alpha testing of the game and now I hurry to share with you what Owlcat plans to please players with in 2021.
First, let's talk about the changes in the basic gameplay, and then move on to the most important innovations.
\Scene of battle, beware old interface])
The first thing that catches your eye is the correction of the mistakes of the first part.
Kingmaker, aside from bugs, was heavily criticized for three kind of things: poor graphics, harsh ruthlessness towards newcomers, and too high defenses of enemies, which led to the notorious "miss-miss-miss-miss".
These moments were more or less corrected and ironed out in the sequel.
The graphics have been significantly improved in comparison to the first game. Characters, weapons, and armor have noticeably increased in detail, and although their level (partly due to the peculiarities of the art design and budget) is inferior to the second Pillars of Eternity and Divinity: Original Sin 2, the new models of heroes in the inventory window look relatively passable and quite capable to please the eye.
\New inventory interface])
Another thing is a smart tutorial, which describes in great detail the basic game mechanics and is able to accompany the player throughout the entire game if they so wish. Owlcat is still working on this feature, promising even a character builds planning help, but this is a question for future versions, as for now let's move on.
The problem of constant misses, at first glance, was also solved. I passed alpha in equal proportions on "easy" and "normal", switching to higher gears a couple of times. Apart from those latter times, only once I came across a mini-boss with extremely high armor class, but otherwise, there were no situations with numerous misses in the game.
However, correcting errors alone will not go far, and the authors, in order to follow the letter and spirit of the original PnP, chose the path of "expanding in breadth."
One of the things that many have come to love with Kingmaker is the enormous amount of variation when it comes to creating the protagonist. Race, subrace (for tieflings and aasimars), class, subclass archetype, heritage, gods, domains, animal companions, familiars...
At one time, there was a joke that those who did not refund Kingmaker due to bugs simply could not cope with character creation.
Well, in Wrath of the Righteous Owlcat Games decided to go even further, adding 3 new races with subraces, almost a dozen new classes, new archetypes to the old ones, and the ability to choose the homeland or the social class for the protagonist. And this is all only if you throw overboard the prestige classes, the ability to ride an animal companion, new traits and spells. In this regard, WotR has come closer than ever to a simulator of creating an RPG adventure.
\Ok, so here we see yet old character creation screen and certain new archetypes.)
Arcanist: Base, Brown-Fur Transmuter, Eldritch Font (I think, Unlettered Arcanist, White Mage)
Kineticist: Blood Kineticist, Overwhelming Soul
Rogue: Sylvan Trickster, Underground Chemist
Wizard: Exploiter Wizard\)
As part of my preferences and gaming experience, I chose an Eldritch Scion aasimar girl (Magus archetype, half-warrior-half-sorcerer with the Heritage system) as the protagonist and set off to liberate the demon-occupied Kenabres.
The gameplay itself hasn't undergone any noticeable changes. This is the same familiar RTwP mechanic from the original, inspired by the Obsidian and old Bioware games. The player still controls a party of six heroes, hands out buffs and debuffs, delivers good and inflicts justice along the way, rests in the camp, passes skill checks, and collects loot scattered around the corners of the map.
\Another scene of battle])
There will be a turn-based mode, but in the alpha, it is yet missing.
However, if the core of the gameplay has not changed, the things around it have changed very, very much.
First, there is a rotating camera in the spirit of Expeditions: Viking and D:OS2, which is a useful innovation, allowing you to look at locations from different angles and look for twists hidden by developers.
However, its overall functional performance is slightly overshadowed by Owlcat's change in approach to map- and level-design of the sequel's locations. If Kingmaker was distinguished by relatively flat territories, then the lands of the World Plague are full of hills, mountains, lowlands, and other irregularities in the landscape, which, if the camera is incorrectly rotated, can lead to a large physical object blocking the party view.
The same location in different angles.
In general, in the wilderness, this problem is minimal, but in large cities with their rows of walls and towers, the camera strives to stumble over a donjon. This is more of an annoyance than a real inconvenience, but it is still desirable to correct it for release.
However, it cannot be said that the level design in the sequel has become worse. Just the opposite. Now locations are actively crammed with secret passages, riddles, sub-locations and places for checking party skills. The epic assault on the city at the end of the second act can even be turned into Assassins Creed with jumping over the rooftops onto the city walls. To summarize, I would say that the new location design allows the player much more variability compared to Kingmaker.
Nothing is forced, everything is allowed...
It is also worth noting the emergence of directed cut-scenes. In terms of their visuals, they look good and are distinguished by quite a decent staging and camera work. In general, I would call them functional, but it may be worth working on the graphics engine further.
Deskari attack on Kenabres is done well.
Only graphic shortcomings and missing textures harm the epic, but those are expected from 0.4.0 alpha.
I did not notice any other important changes in the gameplay at its core. In general, it functions as before. However, none of this was the game's leading selling point.
Chapter two. Where an angel hesitates to take a step https://preview.redd.it/xlinzqer1vr51.jpg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca91045d9fceabe1b5c8c339f174f476bfcf9f81
The main innovation that Owlcat Games is presenting to the player is the Mythical Path system that migrated from the original PnP, designed to seriously diversify the leveling progression and storyline of Wrath of the Righteous.
What is it?
In simple terms, Mythic Paths are a parallel system of unique classes that endows the character with abilities that far exceed ordinary mortals’ reach.
The mythical hero is a character who wields the power to defeat powerful demon-balors with one single blow and single-handedly engage in a battle with the hordes of the Abyss without a chance for the latter to survive.
\)Mystic Power: you get 100% Fortified (immunity to crits/sneaks I presume, DR 10/-, 20 resistance to fire, water, and the rest. Your spell ignores ALL resistances and your enemies fail ALL saves. Attack spells add 100% divine damage and staggered/shaken (not sure about exact terms here) conditions.)
You also get 2 additional attacks per round and a +5 mythic bonus to attack. All your attacks ignore DR, automatically confirm crits and deal 100% additional divine damage. Your first attack of a round deal 4d6 additional damage in a line or cone depending on its type\)
Where these forces come from and what they are worth is one of the plot main mysteries.
In the Owlcat Games interpretation, the Mythic system represents a gradual transformation of the protagonist into one of the extraplanar creatures or powerful creatures of the material plane of the Pathfinder world, each of which is endowed with unique gameplay features.
In the alpha, a reduced number of mythics is available compared to what was promised for the release, but the list is already quite diverse:
Azata (akin to angels, chaotic-good extraplanar creatures, patrons of art and freedom)
Aeon (the ruthless embodiment of law, order, and balance in the universe)
and Trickster (an entity that rearranges reality “just for lulz”)
However, it will take some time before you get the opportunity to choose one of the above paths - after all, this part of leveling is timed to plot events. And, importantly, some of the paths can inadvertently be skipped.
\Mythic list with Angel picked)\)
In the course of my playthrough, I skipped the Trickster storyline, so at the moment of choosing the "mythic" it was not on the list at all.
Since the paths are tied to the hero's alignment, I had a choice between an angel and an azata. I decided to test both of them, and therefore first went for the azata, and then rebooted at the end of the second act and took the angelic path. Well, I can say that they differ significantly in gameplay.
The Angel receives an updated priest spellbook altogether with a set of its own super-powerful spells. The Azata gets at its disposal a set of truly powerful "superpowers" ... and the cutest dragon-companion, which is unusually useful in battle and constantly talks about sweets.
Owlcat Games asked testers to not upload any videos. Angel Magic GIF is from the game's Kickstarter page.
\This) dialog is filled with cuteness and freshly invented words so therefore I give up on translating it. But you still can look at the dragon baby\)
The wisdom of dragons is indisputable!
And here we smoothly move on to another feature of the Mythic Paths. Not only do they give incredible powers - the Azata feat, which allows you to carry any weapon and armor and at the same time give a solid increase to all skills, I'm looking at you! - they also seriously change the plot of Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous.
First, the order and prerequisites for obtaining some quests are changing. For example, I received an important story quest for obtaining the fourth level of the mythic for the azata at the very beginning of the third act, and for the angel, it was almost the last one.
Secondly, unique and rather lengthy questlines and plot twists and turns appear. An angel visits an ancient order of astrologers. The azata collects an army of extravagant "free crusaders". With the angel, I mostly communicated with the herald of the goddess Iomedae. With the azata learned the history of the old enmity between sculptors-cavaliers and confectioners-pikemen...
\) Here Gnome: We are sculptor-cavaliers! The future is ours!
Gnome: We are sculptor-cavaliers! The future is ours!
Gnome: We are sculptor-cavaliers! The future is ours!\)
…no, it’s not a joke.
Mythic Paths also affect regular NPCs and companions. The first ones comment on what you are becoming. The latter receive mythical levels themselves (without choosing a path) and sometimes can indirectly participate in your mythical quests.
Another thing that mythics bring is the disappearance of the alignment dialogue options that filled Kingmaker. Those who played the first Owlcat game remember that in the first act, a character with a neutral alignment could avoid participation in the war of mites and kobolds, and a good one could avoid killing the bandit Kressle. In WotR, a different set of options is responsible for this, tied to mythics rather than alignment.
\)The dialog itself here lacks context, but those options look like:
3. (to lawful [Angel Path] [Show Heaven’s Wrath]) text
4. (to chaotic) text\)
Finishing, it must be said that I asked Owlcat Games about the possibility of changing Mythic Paths in the later stages of the game, and their representative confirmed this possibility.
That's all I can say about the Mythic Paths today. They give the player tremendous replay value, gameplay variety, and unique storylines. However, this is not all that the sequel strives to surprise with.
Chapter three. Heroes of Cross and Crusade. Perhaps the most intriguing goal of the Wrath of the Righteous Kickstarter campaign was adding army-to-army tactical battles in the spirit of the legendary Heroes of Might and Magic series to the sequel.
Nival is an interesting campaign in many ways. Few in the industry can boast of working on games of different genres. And even fewer are those who have shown themselves well in literally every one.
Owlcat Games - in particular, the core of their team - are the natives of Nival Interactive responsible for the fifth part of the cult series, and they used their experience to make its fans feel at home in WotR.
In the sequel, the player takes personal control of not only his party, but also the numerous armies of the crusade, and uses them to destroy the demonic hordes that stand in the way.
\Barnd new tactical battle])
It is currently the youngest of WotR mechanics, but HoMM fans may already recognize many of the elements dear to their hearts. Hiring units with unique abilities, recruiting generals with spell books, different types of resources, rebuilding cities, turn-by-turn battles, and weekly growth. The only thing missing is the astrologers announcing the week of berserk hamsters, but the rest is a careful transfer of a turn-based strategy inside an RPG.
The army uses developer-made roads when traveling the global map, but unlike our party, it has a limited number of turns per day.
Enemy armies blocking the path. Right now they can only defend but the developers want to add aggressive elements and even the possibility of losing your capital. P.S. Remember that many interface elements use old Kingmaker assets and are not the final draft.
And importantly, two different genres in the game are intertwined quite organically. By defeating the enemy army, the player can get not only resources for the strategic part of the game, but also the most valuable equipment for his party, and the occupation of enemy garrisons opens up new locations for exploration.
The influence of the party on the army is currently minimal, but after studying the info from the official forum and talking with the community manager, I can say that the situation should be different on release.
The choice of a Mythic Path will determine which units will be available in the player's army and what abilities they will possess. The developers are also thinking about the possibility of adding resources that are unique for mythics, but this element is still a subject of discussion. In any case, those who cherish nostalgia for the Necropolis faction can safely become a lich and send hordes of skeletons into battle.
\)'Artifact forging': Takes 5 days, the officer has +6 magic (no idea what that means. This belt gives the owner +2 enhancement bonus to Strength. If the owner is mounted and he or his mount make a critical strike the enemy is inflicted with an ‘exploding head’ syndrome for 1d3 rounds. Under this effect it starts to hear loud noises, taking -2 to attack and damage rolls…])
Each conquered artifact can be turned into one of the six possible equipment options. Some are ... pretty extreme.
To summarize, today the system is already felt working, functional and promising, but this is still only the backbone of what it will become.
At this point, I propose to end with the analysis of the gameplay of WotR and move on to the main part: radical changes in tone and narrative.
Chapter four. Black Crusade. Anyone who played Kingmaker should remember that in terms of storytelling, it was in between the mundane Pillars of Eternity and the daring Divinity: Original Sin. On the one hand, at its core was a serious, moderately epic story that raised questions of the leader's responsibility to the society entrusted to him, and on the other, everything that surrounded the plot twists and turns was imbued with humor and the spirit of exploration, which, together with a team of scriptwriters who knew Russian from in the first place, created in many ways a unique and natively close of the CIS leitmotif.
In short, I would apply the epithets "cheerful", "cheerful" and "dear" to the Kingmaker story. And if you're expecting something similar from the sequel...
...be prepared your expectations to be kicked 180 degrees.
\)One. Contains spoilers for Lann so I hesitate with translating it, but it's heavy\)
\)Two. A reminder that this is my translation and not official English localization! Here we go:
Sickening stench roams the room. Like in a slaughterhouse rows of human bodies are hanging on the iron hooks under the ceiling. Some are still, some are twitching and groaning. Female voice spreads pray, faintly. "Saint Iomedae... Forsake... Kha-kha... Forsake us not... In the rotten darkness... But spare us from evil... With your hand...\)
\)Three. Recruit: With trembling hand, the knight brings the knife to his face. "Those eyes that dared to look at you with lust... Take them, oh goddess!" With a hushed moan, the knight cut out his eyes and presents two bloody lumps to the succubus.
Succubus: "I accept your gift!" Having taken the eyes with tender fingers, the succubus draws them along her иуддн and breasts, then places in her mouth and delightedly chews. Bloody mucus flows down her lips and chin. "Now, my knights, I want you to lick... Wait, who is there? What heretics have come to violate our sacrament?" The succubus point at you and the knights who still have their eyes submissively turn in your direction.\)
\)Four. Your throne stands firmly on the backs of naive fools and greedy for glory adventurers. I realized that when the demons brought commander Verstol to the square and pushed him into the healing font of Sarenrae. And then they lighted a fire under it. Commander was being cooked in it for three days and her once merciful yet now cruel blessing was preventing him from dying. His skin swelled in bubbles and peeled off his flesh. We were standing in the square and watching. Our naked bodies were tortured by the cold wind. All our blood flowed out of our wounds as if striving to run far away from that terrible place. Our throats were bleeding without water and our stomaches dried up without food. The whole three days, the commander couldn't die. His meat turned grey and smelled o sweet I hated myself and my desire to taste it. Commander Verstol had stopped screaming before the first midnight, was only wheezing since. On the third morning, this stern man who knew no pity to himself and the enemies started to whimper like a child. His tears were endless, he was boiling in his own tears! Then the font finally broke apart, notwithstanding this terror, and he died. The new owner of Drezed, the demoness Minago, had dinner with his flesh. But she was not greedy - each of us, captives tormented by hunger, was bestowed with a piece of the commander.\)
\)Five. The MC: What the sexual life of the demons looks like?
Arueshalae: "Everything the demons do look like a single thing: cannibalism. Everyone simply devours mortals and other demons in their own way. Some enjoy themselves by gnawing out pieces of flesh. Others prefer to subdue others, turn into slaves, and living tools. The thirds take joy in the humiliation of others. Various forms but the same essence - other creatures are items you use for the sake of your enjoyment.
Arueshalae: "Sex for demons does not differ from other forms of violence. In my last life... (spoiler, I stopped reading myself])
After going through the alpha two times, I still can't say with certainty what kind of "anger pills" the management of Owlcat Games mixes in their writers' dinners, but the degree of naturalism in their texts far exceeds anything I've seen in an RPG before.
Madness; torture; cannibalism; ghouls gnawing at the throats of the crusaders; scenes bordering on real body horror; savoring murder and even superficial descriptions of sexual violence - some of the moments you expect to see more in the pages of "Land Fit for Heroes" by Richard Morgan or "The Great Ordeal" by Scott Backer, but not in a classic isometric RPG.
\)Here. "Devour, 'underground crusaders'! Devour crusaders from the surface! Acquire your power!\)
But do you know what's amazing? All this looks extremely in place within the framework of the unfolding plot. Excessive violence in a work of art is often an element of "childishness" rather than "adulthood" of a story, but in WotR our enemy is the embodiment of evil in its worst forms, and the scriptwriters managed to write it down without reducing everything to shock for shock’s sake. This is a truly robust epic dark fantasy, where all elements of the story feel thoughtful, accurate, and morally ambiguous.
You see, the main conflict in Wrath of the Righteous doesn't even come close to the black and white fight of Good versus Evil that one would expect from Crusade Against Demons. On the contrary, even with the most ‘good’ playthrough, it comes out in black and gray colours at best.
\)More. Crusader: "Our weapons barely scratch the demons' hides! We will sacrifice this girl to Iomedae so the innocent blood could bless our weapons with power to destroy the Abyss spawns!\)
Under the banners of the crusade, not only gallant paladins and servants of good gods gather: ordinary people, green recruits, criminals, maniacs, and sometimes apologists of the most severe tyranny, compared to whom demons can seem like angels, fight next to them.
As a result, while playing, you will more than once encounter acts of betrayal and desertion, showdowns, cases of PTSD, "witch hunts", cowardice and intrigues of those who want to take over your crusade.
\)One. Partly, Sosiel: "On one knight in shining armor, there is a hundred with souls tormented by fear, cruelty, pain. Many seem to have forgotten why they are here and know of nothing but war. When the battle ends they get drunk half-dead and sleep in the dirt. the Rot alive and even not looking for help, have long forsaken themselves."\)
\)Two. Regill: "However, I think respect based on an adequate analysis of your adversary's value is acceptable. I deeply respected my teacher who had been training me for joining the ranks of hellknights. (spoilers])
\)Three. A moment later another scream reaches from above. Rolling over the edge of the canyon, another one of your soldiers falls down and crashes on rocks to death. The decoy squad above desperately fights for lives, theirs, - and yours.\)
The developers initially stated that they did not want to make the history of WotR one-sided, and instead filled it with ambiguity and intrigue on both sides of the conflict.
However, despite all of the above, it would be wrong to say that the sequel's narrative only contains especially dark and violent moments. Still, emotions are strong in contrast, and therefore the game still has room for humor, friendly gatherings, and moments of silence.
\)One, Two, Three, Four, Five - I am not lazy at all, no, I just think the player should discover them on their own!\)
For this, as usual in a party RPG, the main character's companions are primarily responsible. And, as in Kingmaker, each one carries something unique. A priest looking for a lost brother in war; personal cannibal slave; count-hedonist; either a crazy or holy elf girl and many others.
Some will make you laugh tirelessly (Lann, Woljif, and Daeran), others are impossible not to fall in love with at first sight (Arueshalae), and from the thirds you will run away to the demons because the Deskari hordes compared to their background are extremely adequate guys (there is one character out there, whom I was personally asked not to spoil about...).
Lann. A joker, handsome athlete, mutant-descendant of ancient crusaders, and simply OP archer. Mast have in any party.
Sosel. One of the few strictly 'good' characters in the party.
The person responsible for Arueshalae clearly understood what they were doing by adding a dialog option with a hint at love at first sight. Without jokes, a great character both in nature and writing. Hugs
Companions ended up with extremely memorable stories and personalities, constantly leading to friendly - or not so - squabbles.
As a conclusion, I can say that Owlcat approached the development of the narrative and story from a very unexpected and risky side. Epic and truly brutal dark fantasy is a rarity in the gaming industry, and despite the "hardcore" atmosphere, the plot and characters manage to captivate, and the clues scattered here and there hint at the possibility of a very interesting and unexpected payoff. As with Kingmaker, I'm more than happy with the story, and I want to unravel the net built by the developers as quickly as possible.
Conclusion The Kickstarter page lists the release date as June 2021. Given everything that is happening in the world right now, I have some doubts about this date, but even if the game is postponed, I will look forward to its release with great impatience. I am sincerely pleased with what the alpha has offered and what the developers have outlined for future versions of the game.
There will be a beta test before the release, and maybe I'll even cover that too.
I hope you enjoyed this review and learned a lot from it.
In the meantime, I'm leaving. The path of the lich will not thread itself.
submitted by Kiriima to Pathfinder_Kingmaker [link] [comments]
2020.10.07 15:31 nullixity Spying on neighbor having sex
Masturbation is very common among children. While masturbation is widely considered a natural and harmless way for children to explore their latent sexuality, excessive and/or inappropriate masturbation may cause significant problems, especially if it is in public. Children of all ages masturbate, and if they are under age 5, they likely don’t understand the need for privacy. Stay calm, and avoid jumping to conclusions about your child's mental health. Rather than using punishment or clinical treatment, when you see your children in the act, work to gently set limits with them, have open conversations, and encourage appropriate behavior.
Part1Setting Limits and Curbing the Behavior
2020.10.05 16:44 MansA5Oct1 Spying on neighbor having sex
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2020.10.02 15:51 L31M Mother has psychosis from Vyvanse and we can’t get her to receive help.
This has been going on for at least 7 years. She is in her 50s and developed what we (myself, sibling, and father) thought was schizophrenia.
She is prescribed vyvanse for adhd (which I do not believe she has) and from what we believes has been taking it everyday for years.
She has a restraining order for stalking a family she had delusions about. We have sent her to a mental hospital because we obtained an order from a judge (she threatened harm against herself and others. She went and this did not help. She blocked us from seeing her medical records.) She talks to other people who are not there, is extremely paranoid especially of technology, she believes my father is a cheater, sex offender, fraud, believes he has aliases. Threatens to divorce him but relies on him for the home/bills. Believes that we are being paid to spy on her. The neighbors are spying on her. She walked into our neighbors home once and regularly goes outside of the home in the middle of the night.
I believe this is an amphetamine induced psychosis due to the vyvanse. How do we get help when she refuses to believe anything is wrong with her?
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2020.09.28 14:59 birdiiez Neighbor sex spying on having
I think I have finally reached the breaking point with my fiancé. I am just dead tired of him looking at porn on Reddit pretty much everyday. I’m tired of him casually browsing it like it’s news and thinking there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m tired of checking his account just to confirm what I already know. In the bathroom, in bed, on the couch next to me. Pretty much anytime there is a chance he is clicking on the porn on the front page saving what piques his interest. Generally the nudes that young busty women are always posting.
On Saturday I had a long talk with him about how much I’m struggling with my body image and our sex life. How I am afraid it’s only going to get worse as I get older. That I have been thinking more and more about getting breast implants. He seemed genuinely concerned but also gave the same excuses as always for why he doesn’t initiate sex often. He said he needed more non-sexual intimacy from me. We had recently gone almost 8 weeks without sex, the longest so far, in part because I myself was feeling withdrawn and turned off by all of this.
I ended by saying I am also sick of all the porn on Reddit and how it is triggering for me. How the line is getting really blurry now that regular girls, like girls that could be our neighbors, are posting their nudes on Reddit. I didn’t specifically say I didn’t want him looking at porn, because I decided awhile ago that I would never tell him to stop looking at porn. I feel like I shouldn’t have to.
I tried to do my part by being affectionate this weekend and staying off my phone so I wouldn’t get triggered. He was attentive to me sexually.
But of course this morning, while I was at the store getting groceries, he saved another gif of a large breasted woman taking her clothes off. I’m fuming mad, and eventually he’s going to notice and ask what’s wrong. So I think I need to tell him this isn’t working for me. That I am in a bad place and I can’t be in a relationship with someone who looks at porn all the time.
Does anyone have any advice on what to say? This is going to be so hard and I need resolve. The wedding has already been postponed to next June due to COVID. We’ve been together for over a decade, and we live together. We’ve only ever been with each other, so neither of us have had to deal with breaking up. I don’t know how he’s going to respond. Is he going to panic and try to offer all sorts of things to make it work? Or is he just going to get defensive and mad that I have been “spying” on him and am now trying to end things over “just porn”? I’m honestly not sure.
How do I keep my head cool and stay focused? I need to prioritize myself here. I can’t keep letting health and quality of life suffer like this.
Edit: Thank you for your responses. I talked to him a little while ago. To my surprise he wasn’t defensive, and his first reaction was that he was going to delete Reddit, and that I could block whatever I wanted if it gave me peace of mind. But we all know how that goes. I told him I didn’t want a bandaid fix just meant to placate me. He said he wants to work on this, that he’s fine not looking at porn. Again, we all know how that goes. I told him that I don’t think I can trust him. And I reminded him that I am already hurt by this, so deleting Reddit and so on doesn’t erase everything else before. So he just reiterated that he hopes we can work on it. I told him I’m not sure if I can do that.
Now I’m spending some time with my thoughts and anticipating my next step. He deleted his Reddit app and showed me, but I’m just not feeling that hopeful. I don’t want to get stuck in a cycle of him sneaking around in different ways. I’m still thinking I need to end it. I don’t want to leave the apartment, but I don’t know if I’m ready to ask him to leave and go stay with his parents, because of COVID. So I need to figure out how to go about this part tactfully.
I’m glad I spoke up now though. It was a big relief to tell him exactly how I felt about all of this. Now he won’t be asking me what’s wrong and why I’m distancing myself from him. And honestly it was a relief that his first reaction wasn’t to get annoyed or defensive. So hopefully there’s a way to end this and deal with the apartment situation without too much drama. I don’t want to make his life difficult, but I would ultimately like him to move out. Hopefully I can have that discussion with him soon. And thanks to COVID, I have a non-embarrassing way to approach wedding vendors to cancel. Fortunately I know my mom will be supportive, and she’ll help me with telling the family and what not. He’ll have to deal with his side.
I’m so grateful there are spaces like this on Reddit. Everywhere else is so pro-porn and had me convinced for almost three years that this was just my problem that I needed to work on. And I tried, with therapy and SSRIs and so on, but the feelings were only getting worse. Subs like this helped me get to this point, so thank you all. Best of luck on your journeys.
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2020.09.18 16:56 PhatA18Sepl Neighbor sex on having spying
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