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As you've likely already noticed, the FFVII Remake is filled to the brim with small details, references and easter eggs, so as someone who usually hunts down details as a job, I wanted to see how many references I could spot across my multiple playthroughs, so I've been keeping track of all of this in a notepad as I've been playing. This is definitely not all the details, but it should hopefully cover most of them. I hope this can give you more appreciation for all the effort the developers poured into this game.
That said, the definition of a detail/easter egg can vary a lot, so I want to establish some rules:
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I've got a pretty extensive NES collection and have for years been writing about the best games for the system while also trying to collect every title. As such, I feel like I've spent tons of time playing all the great games while the lesser known titles usually come in the mail and go straight onto the shelf. I wanted to make more of an effort to explore the entire library of the Nintendo Entertainment System, not just the classics or even the hidden gems, and so I tried out some buddies I either popped in and immediately out or never played in the first place.
I spent about half of 2019 going through the games alphabetically and then posting some reviews of these oddball games I figured most folks never touched. All in all, it turned out to be a huge project, longer in word count than probably every paper I slogged through in college. I thought it might be cool to collect the 10 best and worst obscure games I played and share those with y'all and if people want to read the entire articles I'll link those as well.
The entire series A through Z can be found here. The "Best Of" Lists can be found here and here.
10. PUSS N' BOOTS | 1990
I've been trying to search my brain for any real nostalgic association with the character Puss N' Boots from my childhood. Like I'm sure I knew about him (he's a cat who wears shoes, that's awesome!) but I honestly can't remember his story or any other details really. If you're a big younger that I am, you'll probably remember him fondly from the Shrek movies. I have a young nephew and when he told me recently that his favorite show was The Adventures of Puss in Boots, I thought "shit, I really don't want to sit through this." However, I gotta say it's pretty funny! It reminds me of the general irreverence of shows like Rocky and Bullwinkle or even Adventure Time. Definitely check it out, especially if you've got little dudes to entertain. The NES tale of ol' Puss? Well it's based on a Japanese cartoon I've never seen, but if the show is as bad as this game, that's probably a good thing.
Puss N' Boots was published by Electro Brain, makers of other "Huh, that's a game?" titles like Ghoul School, Eliminator Boat Duel, and Stanley: The Search for Doctor Livingston (coming soon to a review near you!) If you've played any of those bad boys you know that Electro Brain puts out interesting but ultimately low production-level games, and Puss N' Boots is no exception. There are a few positives, however. While the music isn't anything too wild, there are at least plenty of unique 15 second long loops for each level (which is asking a lot in most NES titles). Also, each stage takes place in a different location and has some unique design elements: the Ocean stage has you piloting a submarine, the Space Wars stage has a plane, etc. And then...ummm...well...it's a game!
The first thing you'll notice here is...yeah this looks like shit. The art style is extremely basic, like "well meaning housewife illustrating her own children's book" beginner's level. Also, the sprites and backgrounds are all similar colors with no outlines so they just indistinguishably bleed into each other. The next thing you'll notice is that the Pussmaster walks SOOOO SLOW, just taking his sweet ass time getting from one place to another. Just like a real cat! However, if you jump he goes 5x faster for some reason, but even stranger is that all the other bad guys also move at that accelerated speed. Weird. Puss N' Boots is also incredibly easy. I can beat the whole game without dying in 15 minutes. AND I'VE NEVER PLAYED THIS GAME BEFORE IN MY LIFE. The main reason for the smooth sailing here is that seemingly the game can only handle one enemy on the screen at a time and they often don't come anywhere near you. Not only that, but it must be having a tough time with loading issues because there are large swaths of each level where there's no enemies at all. Just 5 uninterrupted seconds of Puss gleefully making his way to the right, looking for something to kill.
Puss N' Boots has got all the hallmarks of bland game design, not bad per se just incredibly uninspired. The music is extremely simple and repetitive, the sprites and backgrounds are the most basic level of illustration, the animation is almost non existent, the same sound effects are used for everything so you can't tell if you hit something or it you, in fact there's no images or any indication at all that you were attacked other than your lifebar slowly decreasing. Also, even though each level does have different vehicles and whatnot, the gameplay experience is exactly the same: go to the right, shoot things (or don't, most of them won't pose any real threat.) Hmmm I guess you could say the exact same thing about Super Mario Bros, but I don't need anymore page space to explain what all separates these two games other than "it ain't no Mario".
Similar Games: Kid Niki: Radical Ninja, Felix the Cat
9. DR. CHAOS | 1988
UGGHHH. Just the other day I was wondering "what if there was a game that took all the frustrating things about Goonies II, amplified them to infinity, then dumbed down the graphics, sound, controls, hit detection, and everything else that made that game fun." Well, dreams do come true!
Dr. Chaos was made by FCI / Marionette, but on the title screen it says "Pony Canyon" which sounds like an insufferably pretentious indie-pop band opening for Imagine Dragons or something. Marionette also made one of the Dungeons and Dragons games and Phantom Fighter which unfortunately we'll probably revisit come the Letter P.
You start the game in a side scrolling level with ultra generic bad guys like rats and bats that kind of reminds me of the Sega Master System title "Ghost House", and for sure like that game, Dr. Chaos would've scared the shit out of me as a child. We didn't all play Silent Hill at age 6 back then and games like this or Friday the 13th or even Castlevania were kinda definitely pretty scary.
Once the game starts all you see is doors, DOORS ARE EVERYWHERE. What happens when you enter a door? You get a first person view like Golgo 13 or Fester's Quest but you can only turn the four directions. Each direction has cabinets that contain guns and mystery fluids and also MORE DOORS but of course you can't go through these doors, oh no! Eventually you are greeted by two straight up horror nightmares, either a Frankenstein Big Foot who's lungs are on the outside of his body, or a stumpy giant mouthed aunt who's allllllll lips. They're polite monsters though and they wait til you're back outside the 3-D rooms before they attack you.
If you ever want to experience your brain completely shutoff, play this game, get frustrated, and then like me watch a walkthrough that's even slower and less satisfying than playing the game in the first place even when you fast forward. I feel like of all the titles on this list, some people out there probably played Dr. Chaos growing up and thus might have some positive nostalgia about it since it's a pretty common NES title. And if that is the case, I am so very very sorry for you. All the other kids who grew up playing Blades of Steel, Super Mario Bros 3, and Legend of Zelda are now CEOs and entrepreneurs and rock stars while you, Kid Chaos, spend your days repeatedly opening doors. And then once inside, opening other doors. And after that? Opening more doors within those doors.
And yet the saddest thing? The doors never, ever open for you. (I'm just kidding, I'm sure you're great :)
Similar Games: Goonies II
8. ROLLERBLADE RACER | 1993
Finally, I get to talk about a real game: Rollerblade Racer. YEAH! Rollerblade Racer was published by Hi Tech Expressions, which to me sounds like a futuristic "massage" parlor run by rub n' tug robots. They were responsible for many relatively obscure games for the NES, some of which I've covered already (Fun House, Hunt for Red October, Muppet Adventure: Chaos at the Carnival). If you haven't guessed already, they weren't exactly the American Konami, more like the Panamanian LJN. However, what their games lack in good sound, story, gameplay, graphics, replayability, and pretty much every characteristic that would lead you to believe something was fun, they more than make up for it in mouth agape "what the fuck is this" factors. Thankfully, Rollerblade Racer is no exception.
God damn this game is gold. The first screen is this dude in full pads/helmet standing next to two traffic cones, head to toe in all pink including the rollerblades draped around his shoulders, arms at his sides. He says: "Hi, I'm Kirk. I just bought a new pair of rollerblades." He needs you to enter the "Super Rollerblade Challenge" that for some reason means that if you win he'll qualify. Huh? I guess I'll do that for you random stranger. Hahahaha, my god, he calls his outfit his "bladegear". GAHHHHHH!!! Haha oh lord, it's too good! Ok, I've calmed down, I'm centered and ready to roll. Kirk, LET'S SHRED.
So basically Rollerblade Racer is a really shitty Paperboy knockoff. I was never a big fan of that game, but that's only because the eponymous paperboy had no style and could not carve the pavement like my boy Rollerblade Racer. Poser! You basically just go forward as fast as you can and jump over everything in-sight. Beautifully, because it's rollerblading, the programmers gave you two authentic rollerblade leaps: wheels straight back and legs beneath you, or wheels straight out in opposite directions and legs split out like a crazy person. Bellissimo! The same enemies spawn every three seconds as you go, kind of like watching an old Flintstones where they walk past the same background over and over and over. The dogs and tricycle kids are super easy to avoid, but for some reason those tiny cracks in the road cause my guy to spill like crazy. Throw in a pebble and you've got the true life roller villains captured right there!
After you help Kirk borrow a feeling, you head to the city which is somehow even simpler and easier than the last level. If you find the right line on the screen, you can just go full speed and NEVER INTERACT WITH A SINGLE OBSTACLE. I'm not kidding! The only enemies here are puddles and dogs and you will never come close to touching either of them, even as you pass the same thousand wet golden retrievers on repeat. After that, a sea of traffic cones. THE HORROR! A couple more repetitive levels anddddd...hmmm that's the end of the game. Easy peasy lemon squeezy!
I have not laughed this much or this often while playing a video game in some time. It's so painfully easy and poorly programmed that it is of course quite comical, but honestly what they really nailed with this game is how rollerbladers weer perceived in the 90s. No one then, or now for that matter, was ever considered cool for blading. Not even the "aggressive inline" featured in games like Skitchin' or rad movies like Airborne could make it a tenth as cool as skateboarding. That's because to skaters, all rollerbladers were a bunch of Kirks unironically rocking single colored outfits that matched their blades, reminding you to always wear full pads every time you glide.
Similar Games: Paperboy, Paperboy II
7. PETER PAN AND THE PIRATES | 1991
On the cover the actual name reads "Fox's Peter Pan and the Pirates: The Revenge of Captain Hook", making this easily the most cumbersome title in the entire NES library. Not to be confused with Hook which was released a year later, Peter Pan and the Pirates (hereafter known as PPP) is based on an entirely unrelated Saturday Morning Cartoon. I mean I say unrelated, but they're both telling the exact same story as the hundreds of other Peter Pan adaptations. For those that don't know, many of the famous characters developed before or around the 20th century are now Public Domain which is why you see a new Dracula / Frankenstein / Robin Hood / King Arthur / King Kong adaptation come out every few years; Hollywood studios don't have to pay for the rights! I do not remember PPP at all, but it was on the air long enough to get an NES game based on it made (one year!) Oh snap, and this is one of those titles that was only released in North America. I can't seem to find a list that details all of them, but it's pretty rare that there's a game that was released outside of Europe AND Japan. Well, if you lived anywhere outside of the US, Mexico, or Canada consider yourselves fortunate to have missed out because this game blows the big one.
One thing I've learned in this review process is that a super easy way to tell a game is awful happens right after you hit the power button and you see the crew credits before the first level. It's like the developers were worried that no one would ever make it to the end and thus never get to see the names of the people responsible. Well, they were right! After giving credit where shitty credit it due, you start the game up and...wow, let that color brown wash over you! You play as Peter (a doy!) and you're gifted with the tiniest, most useless one pixel knife I've ever seen. I mean damn, I've seen some small weapons before but Jesus Christ. Maybe it was a full-sized sword but it's size and usefullness matches it's owner, so once this pint sized goober picked it up the sword shrank sown to Pan sized proportions. It's almost as shitty as Peter's rat-tail.
Peter can fly, but for the longest time I could not figure how to consistently do it. I thought if I held the jump button that would work, but I kept dropping and rising. All you have do is jump then press a button on the d-pad and you'll start floating slowly in that direction. You need this ability to reach hard to reach spots, but your time is limited (based on how much gold you collect). Of course while floating you can't use your knife which I guess makes sense otherwise you'd just turn this into a shoot-em up and flysplode every bad guy in sight. Man that might've been actually, I don't know, FUN! What really sucks is that this is obviously the main gameplay mechanic, essentially the equivalent of Scrooge's pogo jump from Duck Tales, but because it uses the D-pad you'll find yourself constantly flying when you don't want to and not flying when you absolutely need to. Aside from the usual random enemies like pirates, spiders, and pterodactyls(?) they included the most obnoxious bad guy of the all: every pit, instead of killing you, takes you back to the beginning of the stage. Every pit. FUCK THAT.
The music is way too high pitched so even if there were a decent melody hidden in there your ears have to want to hear Geddy Lee's helium solo in order to enjoy it. There are only two sound effects:
Similar Games: Hook
6. NFL FOOTBALL | 1989
What's different about this game from NES Play Action Football? Well the first thing you'll notice is a big ol' official NFL logo on the title screen which means that this game features the actual teams, although I don't think there are any actual players names used here. But hey, I get to play as my beloved Atlanta Falcons, so that's not so bad! Wait, what's that? LJN label?!? SPOKE TOO SOON!
First of all, instead of a screen that shows you the plays you can choose from, there's a picture of a NES controller with no indication of what you're supposed to do. I just randomly press buttons until the controller lights up and it takes me to the field. Now it shows for several seconds what the formation of the offense and defense is, but still no layout of what play you're trying to run. Like Play Action before it, as far as I can tell you cannot run the ball (WHY?!?), just throw it which is so much more difficult than it needs to be. Also like that aforementioned garbage title, I cannot tell how to choose the target, there's no arrows or blinking players or anything. And wow, I made fun of NES Play Action Football for being slow but Jesus Christ NFL Football is the real deal. Everything from the time to choose plays, to the time between screens loading, to the actual running speed of the players themselves moves at the most crippled of snail's paces. Also, while there is some generic sports music playing on the select screens, once the actual game starts the only sounds are those of the crowd whistling. Majestic.
One small redeeming thing about NFL Football is that once you throw the ball it cuts to a screen with larger sprites and you have to track and position your player under the ball to catch it. It kinda reminds me of the frisbee section of California Games. It's not great, but it's kinda fun and I bet if you were playing against a friend this little battle screen would be the best part. Beyond that? Naw player, this game is a full pass.
I don't know if it's just my cartridge (it sounds like something's rattling around in there), but this game seems real glitchy. Like the screen flashes and shakes whenever I choose an option and coding numbers randomly appear, way more than the usual issues a Q-tip and some Brasso will solve. Also, between every play it cuts to this awful blank brownish green screen for a few seconds; however, I think that's just how they programmed it because they didn't know what to do when the game needed to load. If the NES were a mood ring that changed colors based on the aura of the cartridge placed inside it, truly vomit green is the negative energy of NFL Football encapsulated.
Similar Games: 10 Yard Fight, California Games
OTHER OBSCURE NES GAMES WORTH AVOIDING
Castelian, Castle of Dragon, Blues Brothers, Gotcha! the Sport, Incredible Crash Test Dummies, Indiana Jones (UbiSoft version), Jimmy Connors Tennis, James Bond Jr., Spelunker, Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular, Swamp Thing
submitted by bigolewords to nes [link] [comments]
2013.09.20 04:10 tabledresser Japanese hidden massage parlor
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|Hi Emily, welcome to Reddit. In all seriousness, what do your parents, siblings, really any relatives think about your career choice? Do they support you or is it more of a "don't tell us what we don't want to hear" sort of situation?||I have always been someone who is proud of her industry. About a year ago I decided that hiding such an integral part of who I was from the people who were closest to me was too draining and counter to my honest nature.|
|The result of that decision was having my young son taken out of my care by my mother and my ex. They used common stereotypes to encourage a judge to do an emergency interim parenting order. In their testimony they cited that because of my profession I was obviously using drugs, an alcoholic, and my son was being left in the care of my clients (None of which was true!)|
|However by the time this was all disproved he had been in his fathers care for six months, and it was deemed 'too disruptive' to my son to shift him back in to my care. Needless to say, my family and I are now estranged which breaks my heart.|
|So here I am, still proudly carrying the banner of my profession, hoping to banish stereotype and hearsay, but their support is something I am unlikely to ever see. My friends, however, are extraordinary and have really helped see me through these crappy situations. I surround myself with amazing people who are all the positive support I need :)|
|Thank you for the warm welcome!! <3.|
|If I were in the spot you're at now I would do anything in my power to get my son back (not saying you aren't trying to) even if it meant quitting the profession I dearly love. I salute you and hope that everything works out for you in the end.||Thank you. I really appreciate that. Whilst losing my son wrenched a hole in me, I guess the positive is that I am now truely free to fight for what I believe in and this gives weight to my cause.|
|That is terrible. How often do you get to see your son now?||Well, unfortunately his father has even restricted me from calling him, despite the legal order which states I must have contact. He has changed his number, so am currently undergoingyet another legal process in order to force him to uphold his end of the deal.|
|That's so sad, I don't really know what to say :( Hopefully one day they'll come to their senses and realise how much they have hurt you. They have no right to judge you for what you do.||I would like to believe this but I'm not holding my breath. I'm neither naive nor jaded. But time will run its own course I guess. Social perception of the industry still has a long way to come but I'll keep looking forwards. Thank you for your kind words! Change starts with you guys.|
|Would you rather have sex with 100 duck sized horses or with 1 horse sized duck?||I feel like this is a trick question and there might be a request for pictoral evidence!! :D According to a great book called "Hung like an Argentine duck" which follows the origins of sexuality back to the dark ages, some species of duck actually have cork-screw shaped penises and proportionately larger phalices than any other mammal.|
|Lets go with the 100 horses! ;)|
|Ducks aren't mammals.||True story! Guess I should refrain from posting my own nerdy replies at 2am! :D.|
|Last book you read that you really liked?||Last Books: The Warded Man series by Peter V. Brett which is quite a riveting read and Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time". I expected the latter to be a bit harder going but realized that I knew more about space-time, light, blackholes and the composition of atoms than I thought.|
|What do you think is a serious problem that doesn't get much attention? Example would be landmines. What's the last thing that has made you laugh the hardest?||Serious problem that doesn't get much attention: In New Zealand all the good causes are being fought for. And fought for hard. The biggest one that I personally contribute to is bringing the escort industry up in the same way that gay marriage is moving up. It's the thing I can change in little ways every day. To paraphrase: Be wise enough to know the things you can change, and do not stress about the things you can't.|
|Laugh the hardest: Found a sign between Waterton and Pincher Creek that said Spread Eagle Road. I dodged traffic to get a photo... you guessed it... Spread eagled on the road. An oncoming SUV didn't like my joke.|
|A big thank you for bringing the escort industry respect and the legitimacy it deserves.||Thank you for understanding and appreciating the industry :) Will just keep doing what we are doing. I want to hug you!|
|What makes you NZ's most exclusive escort? It's not the prices you charge, as they are quite reasonable (assuming they are still anywhere in the same ballpark as the ones quoted on your site). In the same vein, what qualities would you say make you successful at what you do, and what sets you apart from any other escort? Good luck with the AMA.||I have roughly double the amount of positive reviews and feedback compared to my closest 'rival', which is really the only benchmark we have. Price is a hard thing to gauge as some girls charge exorbitant amounts and expect to have a much lower volume of clients. My prices intentionally appeal to a wider client base because I want to be able to be extremely selective in who I will see, and ideally continue to see. In three years and roughly 60 reviews I have yet to get anything less than glowing praise.|
|As to what makes me successful, I pride myself in building genuine connections with each and every one of my clients. I do not 'wear a mask' or have a 'work personae' that gets me through work. To be frank I love my work and freely share every aspect of myself while doing it. It is being true to who I am and so freely giving myself that sets me apart from my peers.|
|When you say you travel worldwide, how does it work legal and payment-wise if you travel to a country where prostitution is illegal (as most courntries are)?||It really depends on the country. In short, there are loopholes in most countries that keep things above board, for instance, In Canada - I can charge for my time and if sex happens between two consenting adults it's legal. I am just not allowed to charge for specific sexual acts. I could go into the technicalities of keeping it legal in each specific country; however, it would likely end up pretty boring. Suffice to say it's possible. Also those risks apply more to your average street-crawling hooker or parlor worker than they do to a high-class (and priced) independent escort.|
|I initially read the title as "International Epcot" and I thought one of the sections of Disney World was doing an AMA. I had a lot of questions prepared for that, so I guess I'll just see if I can fit you into one of those questions. Do you feel New Zealand's prostitution industry should be represented in it's section of Epcot? Additionally, does New Zealand have a section in Epcot?||I had to google what an 'Epcot' was! lol. I guess I need more clients willing to take me to Disneyworld!|
|Do you ever worry when you're getting ready to meet up with a new client what they might be wanting you to do? I mean, do they tell you over the phone or do you just show up and they tell you?||Most of the time I do have a pretty good idea of what people are looking for, especially if it deviates from the norm. I still do reserve the right to decide what I will and will not do as situations arise. While I am getting paid for a service maintaining my physical and emotional health is paramount so I'm not afraid to say 'no' to things that make me uncomfortable.|
|What reasons (if any) do husbands give for hiring you? What advice (if any) would you have for wives, specifically a wife whose husband may consider hiring an escort?||I really really want to answer this in more detail when I have more time.|
|NOTE TO SELF: COME BACK TO THIS QUESTION!|
|Do you get virgin clients and how do you deal with them?||Had my fair share hehe! You deal with them the same way you deal with anybody. Respect, empathy and understanding. Sometimes they need a little extra push though. :P.|
|I find that if you invest time at the beginning of the session to build a great repoire with them, they come right out of their shells and are tigers before you know it!|
|Welcome to AB! Calgary local here, guessing you passed through YYC on the way to Banff. What's your favorite thing to do in Banff so far? Are you on vacation with a client, and if so do you have any personal downtime or are you working 24/7? How often do you travel for work, and what's your favorite place to visit?||Hey! I'm in Calgary tomorrow for 5 days funnily enough!|
|My favourite thing thus far was the walk up to The Six Glaciers look out by Lake Louise. My friend and I left the lodge right on dusk, nearly ran 7.2kms to the top and then hoofed it back down in the almost pitch black.|
|However, the opportunity for night time photography with my new camera was incredible.|
|When we left: Link to imgur.com|
|On the return: Link to imgur.com|
|The trip out here was funded by a lovely client of mine, and I decided to stay on an extra couple of days. Alas, back to reality tomorrow, however my Calgary clients are some of my favorites too. "Home" to Edmonton after that. I'm based over here until December.|
|Banff is definitely the most beautiful place that I've been whisked to. Coming from gorgeous New Zealand I have been pretty spoiled, so it is hard to impress me with mountains, snow and lakes but all of the Rockies have been just breathtaking.|
|What was the weirdest thing you had/wanted to do? What was the funniest thing to happen during work? Most beautiful place someone has taken you to? Best food you have had?||Weirdest thing? I've had a bunch that seem strange to most but make sense once you understand how sexual psychology works.|
|Funniest thing to happen during work: One of my favourite long time regulars turned up for his appointment one day after watching JaySinn movies. He carried two bags, in one, false eyelashes, knee high socks, and an outfit with a poofy skirt. In the other, was two giant gob stoppers and a big rainbow colored lollypop twisted around a stick. I got dressed up, we watched some of the clips and then put one of the gob stoppers up inside while he went down on me.|
|Most beautiful place: Banff. Hands down. But I may be biased since I'm still here!|
|Have you found yourself in a situation where you felt harm would come if you didn't leave right then ? How did you deal with it ?||I have never felt seriously in danger. After three years of the industry you learn to diffuse situations quickly and leave before crunch time if it comes to that. It is all about trusting your instincts. You are not obliged to provide anything that you are not comfy with.|
|If somebody seems drunk/confrontational/pushy etc you are well within your rights to ask them to leave.|
|My clients are regulars to service providers and (in Canada especially) come with great recommendations. Good luck visiting a reputable girl, if you have never been to see another SP before.|
|Do you have any advice for someone trying to expand their potential client base, and how to weed out those who ultimately just want to waste your time? Canadian male here, mostly m4m. Thanks in advance.||To be totally honest, in my experience it's much harder for males in general to attract a higher quality of clientele however as one of my best male friends has proved, it can be done. My recommendation would be to put energy in to creating a great website. That way, a lot of the "twanky" (text-wankers) guys can be redirected to it for more information, without you having to spend energy on repeating the same info. List your prices, services, an ethics page, your safety practices (You'll find that this scares off a ton of unsavory clients) and really project that you are looking for the top end in your wording. It may also help to find a female service provider with a good reputation to work alongside. We get regular requests for guys to join us in bookings to cater to the bi-curious and experimental.|
|I would also recommend jumping on to www.canadaadultfun.com and signing up. Encourage the people who have seen you to review you. Discerning clients always do a check for the quality of a provider before they visit.|
|Nice to see someone else in the industry! All the best to you! :)|
|When do you see yourself getting out of the business?||I see myself as changing roles in the industry more than gettng out of it. I'll be old and haggard but still involved in a different capacity, either running my own agency, mentoring, educating, where ever it takes me. I have a Bachelor of Education and I will be doing more study in psychology when I get to the UK in December.|
|How long do most people in your line of work stay doing it? Do you refrain from dating or getting into a relationship with people? If and when you retire what do you think you may due after?||No, I don't refrain from getting in to relationships. I have been very lucky to have two long term partners who did everything that they could to help provide me with a stable, emotionally safe relationship in which I was not only free to talk about work, but encouraged in it. It's a very hard journey for any man, even the most open minded. There will always be conflicts between how society tells us it should be, and what actually happens so I have the utmost respect for any guy who strives to truly understand it. My most recent relationship forced me to sit down and face some hard truths about myself, and my career. The way that I deal with negative feelings, the way I can openly give to others, what I need to be gaining from my life. All of these things are multi-faceted and will never be inherently good or bad. I have never understood so much about how I think and communicate until I started examining my interactions in this industry. And this has permeated in to having some of the most meaningful relationships of my life. With everybody that I come in to contact with.|
|Hi Emily, How did you come to be an international escort? I do not know much of the inner workings of your industry but wouldn't a client look for an escort in the country they are in?||I became an international escort largely by building my reputation and meeting the 'right people', who knew the 'right people'. I've also found that after getting flown somewhere for a single booking, it's really easy to continue to work in that country for as long as I like. Besides the hot foreign thing coupled with the New Zealand accent as worked wonders for me.|
|While it's generally easy to find local girls if discretion is extremely important (and for the highest profile clients, it's the most important concern) they tend to be quite selective.|
|I made an account just for this AMA. So very cool - Thanks Emily. I realize discretion is a concern but have you seen any clients who we would know of?||Phil Rudd, the drummer from ACDC is the most famous one that I am able to mention. We spoke about discretion once and he really doesn't care. He's living the rock star dream and more power to him. Great guy, everyone is scared of him but we got along awesomely. Spent days in his company just mucking about.|
|Gratz on the new account. Cool name!|
|How high can the escort prices go? What is the highest payout to an escort girl that you heard of or saw?||The sky is the limit.|
|I don't know about other peoples prices as it isn't my business to ask. However, there was a travelling service provider in NZ charging $600 an hour and she was pretty much laughed out of town.|
|Depends on the place though. In the UK for example ladies are MUCH better paid.|
|Have you considered moving to the UK or Canada for work? I work in both and you would easily be able to charge more and see the same amount of clients here in England.||I'm currently in Canada and heading to the UK as my next stop. Roughly around the end of November. :) Will be initially bssed in Birmingham.|
|Wow, the one that got away! I was in New Zealand for a week at the end of July, start of August, and I failed to catch you. I did have a busy week though, seeing Ava, Naru, Yana, and more. There are so many 'natural' escorts in New Zealand. I am really torn between telling everybody and keeping it to myself. I try and fight the good fight here on reddit as a client. The sex industry is largely not about crack addled hookers on street corners. I mean, sexy times abound, but it is absurd just how, well, normal it all is from the inside. Are you just in North America for this tour, or are you travelling through Europe or Asia?||Oh wow, you really did get to see my three all time favourite girls, and all so wonderfully different in personality! I've done photo shoots with Yana, coffee with Ava and bi-doubles with Naru. I'm very very sorry that you missed me. I left mid July without a big fanfare and fuss. You sound amazing! I'm in North America till the end of November, and jetting off to the UK for a white Christmas. Hoping to do some more travel around Europe whilst I'm there. With everything just a stones throw it would be a shame to miss out on all the culture!|
|Could listen to Yana read me the phone book in her dreamy Russian accent, and I'll be highly surprised if Naru didn't practically launch herself at you whilst bouncing with her vivacious Japanese energy.|
|I don't think I will be doing working tours through Asia anytime in the forseeable future. :)|
|When you were a little girl, dreaming of the exciting future ahead of you, did you ever imagine you'd be letting men rut you for a living?||Rut huh? That is a new one!|
|This is a really interesting question. I can't remember specifically thinking it when i was "a little girl" but by the time I was 13-14 I was already having fairly kinky fantasies about anonymous sex. It started when I saw a documentary about a swingers club that I was not supposed to see. There was a big black box that you could stand inside, with holes cut out of it for people to put their hands through and touch you. It stuck in my mind for years and years. I've still never tried it, and I don't wish to as some things are always just that much better in your head.|
|What can I get for three nickels and some pocket lint?||Uhm. Three Canadian nickels and some of my pocket lint. What color is yours?|
|Not sure if anyone saw this hidden down here so I will ask! What kind of relationship do the two men have? (friends, lovers..) What kind of acts do you do with them? What is the post-sex part like when it's with 2 guys?||I don't know specifically yet as this was booked for me through an agency. Once they get here I will be able to subtly find out. As of yet I don't have anything specifically planned although I would imagine most things you might see in a porn movie :p I'm expecting a faster paced and more energetic booking than the norm. When two guys are in the room together no doubt they will have more to show off to each other :) I'm quite excited about it. What a great way to kick off a new town! Full debrief in a few hours when I return!|
|Also, What's the longest you've maintained a working relationship with a client? Is there a standard 'lifespan' for that sort of thing?||Longest working relationship? I have a client who was from somewhere back in my first week! So from then till now? 3 1/2 years.|
|On a totally unrelated note, what are your plans for the Zombie Apocalypse?||Zombies!!! My plan is to make a couple of fat disposable friends, hide out in a costco and then sacrifice the ones I need to. I will also be exchanging my vagina for supplies -unless the zombie virus can transfer that way. in which case I won't.|
|How much sex would you say you have outside of work? Also what's your favorite movie?||I have a pretty healthy sex life :) It's funny, because when I have a partner I am quite protective of them, and I never want to feel like I am not connecting with them intimately because I've been working.|
|Favourite movies: Blood Diamond, Dodgeball, Lock Stock, and Defiance.|
|Hey I'm a Kiwi, just wondering if you actually enjoy your job? Do you ever get men that you think 'wow you're hot, can't believe Im getting paid to do you"! Also do you reckon you know a rough estimate of men youve 'seen'?||Yay kiwis! Ever seen the haka naked? :)|
|Yeah, sometimes its very difficult to accept money! I've quoted almost exactly that!|
|How many? Ballpark of 2000. But I don't really know.|
|I genuinely love my work. it is more for esoteric reasons than the obvious ones but I have always maintained that I would stay in this industry, even for minimum wages. :)|
|What are some of the stereotypes that annoy you most about your profession? Are there any stereotypes that hold some validity?||My favourites: My "cleanliness" is directly proportional to how many clients I've seen. More makes me filthy.|
|If I am keeping myself safe from stds with protection, undergoing regular testing and having a shower before and after every client germs do not accumulate.|
|When I am so rigorous about my health I would say that you need to be more concerned about picking up a girl in a bar, or having unprotected sex with your "partner" who either didn't get tested when you started the relationship or my have been sleeping with someone else.|
|Top escorts are more paranoid about hygeine than you. Girls- ever had a guy touch himself and then put fingers inside you? Not happening in my bookings!|
|Does size matter?||Yes. The smaller the better. (No word of a lie) I have never needed a big penis to hit my g-spot, in fact I love almost tantric sex with the smallest penises you've ever seen. Also, being a huge fan of greek, size actually proves to be a hassle sometimes.|
|This is what I tell all my partners. Actually, I have no problems in that area, but being 6'7", they expect more. My 7 3/4" would look huge on a midget, but not so much on me.||Haha, yeah. I understand. I've seen some pretty hilariously shaped/sized penises over the years but hey! What you've got is what you've got! I'll never giggle outwardly if someone is unaware, but my favourite is when a guy points it out - about himself so we can have a good natured laugh together. That shows a real level of comfort that cannot be faked and it's that kind of client that I REALLY connect with.|
|Have you or one of your clients ever suffered an interesting sex related injury during a session?||Yes! Funnily enough I have to take good care of my wrists. Handjobs, massage and holding all of my weight on them gives me RSI!|
|Hello Emily. Do you work with female clients? If so, how does working with them differ from your male ones? Thanks.||Female clientele are rare but not unheard of. Most requests involve couples who are looking to add spice :) I wish I had more!|
|Would you ever consider your profession in a country where it is illegal? Provided of course that this is entirely hypothetical. Have you weighed pros versus cons of breaking the law to continue working?||Because so many areas of the law in some countries are so grey, it is a possibility that I might tread outside of them unwittingly.|
|To be honest, I am not interested in working in places where it is clearly illegal. These kinds of places tend to be attached to a seedier underbelly where trouble is more likely.|
|I weigh the pros and cons every day in Canada if a client engages me in a direct conversation about money exchanged for specific services. We call them "tips" or "donations" and we keep our language vague. :)|
|How do you thing taking part in this AmA will have an effect (if any) on your ongoing legal issues? Did you seek legal advice before doing this?||I don't expect that it will. The fight is essentially already over and lost. Now the most I can strive for is to pave the way so it doesn't happen to another.|
|I have a funny thought for you all. Take the positivity around this thread and appreciate it. Now read the whole thing again and imagine I was your daughter or someone you are protective of. Do your feelings change?|
|Have you ever had an outside of business relationship with a client?||I have absolutely had great friends who began as/remained clients.|
|The boundaries shift and change as to what is appropriate with each person but I have done social lunches with them, cried on their shoulders, met their families and all sorts of seemingly wacky things.|
|As to a boyfriend that began as a client? A couple of casual, dating situations without any sexual aspect. That's about all.|
|Do you hang out with other escorts, and if so what do you talk about? Thanks for doing the AMA, it's super interesting!||Haha yeah, and we have a blast! You're putting a few women together who are extremely open minded. What do you think happens? I choose my friends carefully though. Enough cattiness to... hmm. I can't think of a good ending for that metaphor.|
|Do you masturbate? if so, what is your favorite porno you have watched.||I watched a woman squeeze an octopus out of her bits. If you could get past the animal rights issues and focus on the sensation of what it might feel like, then it was hot!|
|Thats uhhhm... interesting.||Would you like a link?|
|In all seriousness I don't like porn just does nothing for me.|
|Simply out of curiosty, how old are you?||Somewhere between 25 and 30 :p.|
|Oh I'm glad to get a response! And I really didn't want to be rude, sorry if I was! Also...you roleplayed...as someone's sister...WHATTT!!!???WHAHYYYHY?!?||Haha, not rude at all. I'm 29. Just had a birthday. We usually have a real age and an advertised age. Some discrepancies may occur.|
|Is pimping easy?||Pimpin' aint easy. Most of them fleece me, every night.|
|I agree. I don't understand how a mother could let this happen. If I had to quit my job as a software developer and switch to working at wal-mart again, it would be done immediately without hesitation. I'd much rather hate the system with my child than without.||"Let" this happen is inaccurate. I would have gladly quit, if either I, my lawyer or the judge believed it would help. However, please don't forget that you are dealing with a 100% LEGAL industry in New Zealand. Although the profession was the calyst for the issue, they can not remove your son from your care simply because you are an escort. It was covered in a thorough smoke screen of stereotypes and perceptions.|
|The other major issue was the period of time it took the court to set a date for a hearing. If six months hadn't lapsed where my son had adjusted to a new school, in a new town with his father, my case would have been a lot tighter.|
|Teal blue because i like blue and stuff.||Done!|
|No question really, but being self-employed, please be sure to take care of yourself by saving and investing wisely! Take care!||Duly noted! :)|
|So many girls come in to this industry for the money, and still leave at the end with nothing.|
|I have a little nest egg tucked away for when I decide that I am ready for my white picket fence. I had started on it, however when my son went I decided that I needed the break/travel more.|
|Haha, not rude at all. I'm 29. Just had a birthday. We usually have a real age and an advertised age. Some discrepancies may occur.||And because that was what he wanted. I've fisted a guy and the sister creeps you out? gasps laughing|
|I watched a woman squeeze an octopus out of her bits. If you could get past the animal rights issues and focus on the sensation of what it might feel like, then it was hot!||Also, no I don't. I save my orgasms so they can be shared with others!|
|How many diseases have you had in your mouth?||Lol! I knew someone would go there.|
|The only disease I will be catching is a lube flavoured one from the outside of a condom.|
|One of the wonderful things about the Industry - particularly in NZ, is that all sexual acts which pose a risk must be covered by a condom. It's the law. And yes, you've got it! Even blow jobs.|
|What's the point of a blowjob with a condom?||Condom doesn't make it feel any different if you know what you're doing. ;) Guess that's the difference between good and exceptional. Got some free time today if you'd like to experience it?|
|So you're a prostitute?||In laymen's terms that means I am a prostitute--|
|Not sure about which part of that was unclear? Prostitute, courtesan, paramour, escort, hooker, whore. :)|