List of Amc - Free ebook download as Word Doc (.doc / .docx), PDF File (.pdf), Text File (.txt) or read book online for free. List of MAC
2020.10.20 12:46 rusticgorilla Lost in the Sauce: Team Trump attempts to smear Biden using possible Russian disinformation
Welcome to Lost in the Sauce, keeping you caught up on political and legal news that often gets buried in distractions and theater… or a global health crisis.
Attorney Kyle Hirsch testified under oath that Williams’ intervention exerted inappropriate pressure on UMB and that unless the CEO agreed to meet with his donor there could be problems for the bank in Congress. “The Congressman indicated that his role on the Financial Services Committee included legislation that was coming down the pike and that he was urging the bank to meet with his constituent or there would be adverse consequences as it relates to his role on the Financial Services Committee,” Hirsch said, according to his deposition in the case.For at least seven years, GOP Rep. Jim Hagedorn (MN-1) appears to have enjoyed rent-free use of a campaign office supplied by a political donor. “It sounds like something that could potentially be a fairly serious violation of campaign finance law and the ethics rules,” said Bryson Morgan, a former investigative counsel at the Office of Congressional Ethics.
“I don’t know how much it affected fundraising today, but if you want to help me close the gap — LindseyGraham.com — a little bit goes a long way,” said Graham, R-S.C, who is locked in a highly competitive race against well-funded Democratic challenger Jaime Harrison.Sen. Martha McSally (R-AZ) has used her office’s taxpayer-funded resources to send out a robocall touting a key campaign issue—her work on COVID-19 policy—to Arizonans. Normally, mass official communication with constituents so close to an election would be prohibited. But a waiver approved by the Senate Rules Committee in March has made it permissible—if, and only if, the communication is for the purposes of “providing updated information about the pandemic, and providing information about the federal government's response.”
“Our conclusion is straightforward because the Members — 29 Senators and 186 Members of the House of Representatives — do not constitute a majority of either body and are, therefore, powerless to approve or deny the President’s acceptance of foreign emoluments,” the [earlier three-judge panel] ruled.
2020.10.08 08:06 SardisSailphare Hotel room hidden camera sex
Sharing my library. It's a mixed bag, from some truly atrocious quality to some hi-res titles. I don't have a huge online storage as I'll just be using the free Mega account (It just went down to 15GB from 50GB). Please comment on any specific titles you'd like me to upload and I'll reply with the link once uploaded.
-If there's no quality specified in , then it's 16/44.1
-Sample rate is only listed when it's higher than 44.1/48
-[16 or 24] is 16-bit or 24-bit
-[When this # is 3 digits] Indicates MP3 and the number is kbps
- MP3 at 96kbps, stay away from these. I told you it's a mixed bag lol
2 Chainz - Based on a T.R.U. Story
2 Pac - 2Pacalypse Now, Strictly 4 My NIGGAZ, Me Against the World, All Eyez on Me, Americaz Most Wanted
8 Mile Original Soundtrack
8Ball - Lost
21 Savage - Slaughter King , Savage Mode, Savage Mode II 
50 Cent - Get Rich or Die Tryin', The Massacre
112 - 112, Room 112
A Boogie wit da Hoodie - The Bigger Artist , Artist 2.0 
A Great Big World - Is There Anybody Out There? 
A$AP Ferg - Furious Ferg
A$AP Rocky - Live.Love. ASAP, Long. Live. ASAP
Aaryan Shah - In the Making, The Arrival: Part II 
Ace Hood  - Studio Album: Gutta, Ruthless, Blood Sweat and Tears, Trials & Tribulations
Mixtape: Ace Won't Fold, All Bets on Ace, Final Warning, Street Certified, The Preview, I Do It.. For the Sport, The Statement, Body Bag Vol.1, Sex Chronicles, The Statement 2, Body Bag Vol.2, Starvation, Starvation II
.hack_Sign OST 1+2 
Castlevania - Akumajo Dracula Best Music Collections Box
Curse of Darkness - Prelude of Revenge
Harmony of Despair
Lament of Innocence
Lament of Innocence Limited Edition Music Sampler
Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate
Symphony of the Night
Death Note OST 1+2+3 
Detective Conan OST 3
Final Fantasy Symphonic Suite
Final Fantasy VII OST
Final Fantasy VII Reunion Tracks
Final Fantasy VII Remake
Final Fantasy VIII
Final Fantasy X
Gensomaden Saiyuki - OST, Single Collection
Guilty Gear X - Heavy Rock Tracks, Rising Force of Gear Image Vocal Tracks
Guilty Gear XX OST
Guilty Gear XX - Sound Alive/A.S.H.
Hikaru no Go - Theme Song Selection
Howl's Moving Castle - OST, Symphony Suite 
Hunter x Hunter - OST 1+2+3, The Last Mission
Joe Hisaishi - Dream Songs/The Essential Joe Hisaishi 
Legend of Mana 
My-HiME - OST 1+2
Neon Genesis Evangelion - Single Collection
Noir - OST 1+2+3
Ragnarok Online Complete Soundtrack
Rurouni Kenshin - OST 1 , OST 2+3+4, CD BOX , Director's Collection, Premium Collection, Songs, The Best Theme Collection
Shaman King - Comics Image Album, Melody of the Spirits, Osorezan Revoir ~au revoir~, Osorezan Revoir ~prologue to shaman~, Single Vocal Album, Vocal on Parade!!
Slayers TRY Treasure BGM
Spirited Away 
The Legend of Zelda - Majora's Mask, Ocarina of Time
Tsubasa Chronicle - OST 1+2+3+4
Yu-Gi-Oh! Theme Song Single Collection
Z.O.E. - Zone of the Enders, Anubis: Zone of the Enders
Zenki - Character Song Collection 2, OST 2 Raigou Shourin!!
軒轅劍三外傳:天之痕 - 三個人的時光
風色幻想 - 1+SP+2+3+4+5
Adam Ben Ezra - Discography
Adam Lambert - Trespassing
Adam Lopez - The Popera, Showstopper, Till the End of Time
Adele - 21
Afek-T - Les brumes
Agnes Obel - Philharmonics, Aventine, Citizen of Glass , Myopia 
Akon - Trouble
Alabama Shakes - Boys & Girls , Sound & Color [192~320]
Alejandro Fernández - de noche - clasicos a mi manera, Confidencias 
Alicia Keys - Songs in A Minor
Aloe Blacc - Shine Through, Good Things, Lift Your Spirit
Amber Run - 5am , For a Moment I Was Lost 
Amy Winehouse - Frank [160~320], Back to Black [196~246], Lioness: Hidden Treasures 
Andrea Bocelli - Romanza, Verdi
Angra - Discography (1992 - 2010)[160~231, except Temple of Shadows in 16]
Anita Baker - Rhythm of Love
Anthony Ramos - The Freedom EP, The Good & The Bad
Ariana Grande - Discography (2013-2019)[16~24]
Arvo Part - Various works
Aurora - Discography (2015-2019)[24, except Infections of a Different Kind which is in 320]
AZ - Do or Die
Az Yet - Az Yet 
Babyface - The Day
Bad Meets Evil - Hell: The Sequel
Ballet Class Music 
Banks - Discography (2014-2019)[16~24]
Basso Profondo from Old Russia
Belly  - Another Day in Paradise, Inzombia, Mumble Rap
Beyoncé - 4, Beyoncé, Lemonade
Bilal - 1st Born Second
Bill Evans Trio  - Explorations, Sunday at the Village Vanguard, Waltz for Debby
Bill Withers - Lovely Day: The Very Best of Bill Withers
Billie Eilish - Discography
Birdy - Discography 
Bishop Briggs - EP , Church of Scars, Champions 
Black Hill - Discography (2014-2019)[16~24]
Black Panther - Original Score , The Album , Wakanda Remixed 
Stvannyr - Secrets of the runes
2020.09.23 00:54 Tomas-T Hidden camera hotel sex room
Scream is my favorite film and my favorite film franchise. After the announcment of scream 5 (thing I would never thought will happen) and finish the casting, I decided just for fun to write synopsis for Scream films but now with TD characters and slighly diffrente plot. Tody I will begin with Scream 1, my favorite film ever!
Two best friends, Katie and Sadie, are sitting at Katie's house at night and watching a horror movie. A few moments later the phone rings and Katie answers to a stranger who is initially flirting with her. But soon the conversation takes a dark turn when the girls discover that the caller can see them. After Katie hangs up she hears a strange noise upstairs and goes upstairs to see while Sadie stays downstairs. When Katie returns Sadie is nowhere to be found. The phone rings again and this time the caller from the other side starts threatening Katie's life. The caller orders Katie to turn on the yard lights and when she does she sees Sadie's dead body on a chair. Soon a person dressed as Ghostface breaks into the house from the door and after a short chase they kills Katie.
That night Bridgette Mclean receives a surprising visit from her boyfriend Geoff, who comes through the window. Bridgette hides goeff under the bed when her father Chris enters the room to say goodbye to her before he goes to a bussinestrip for a week outside of Wawanakbro
The next morning Bridgette meets up with her two best friends, Gwen and Courtney and they tell her about the murder of Katie and Sadie. The timing of the tragedy is difficult for Bridgette as it is the anniversary of the disappearance of her mother, Milliecent. While Bridgette's friends understand and support her, the mean girl of high school, Heather, mocks her about it. The girls all decide to go to sleep at Courtney's home so that Bridgette will feel safe. That evening while waiting for Courtney to pick her up, Bridgette get a phone call from the killer who starts teasing her and then attacks her. After a brief chase Bridgette manages to lock herself in the room and call the police. When the killer disappears goeff appears through the window and tells that he heard Bridgette screaming. But when a cellphone falls out of his pocket Bridgette suspects him and tries to escape through the door where she encounters Harold, a dorky cop who rents a room in Courtney's house, grabbing the killer's mask he found on the floor.
Bridgette is taken to testify by police while Goeff is arrested. Gwen and Courtney arrive to the police station to pick her up. When the girls and Harold leave the police station, they come across the news reporter Leshawna Edwards and her cameraman Owen. Leshawna has previously written a book crediting Devon Joseph, the boy suspected of Millicent's disappearance and calling Bridgette a liar. Leshawna behaves insensitively and teases Bridgette who punches her back.
At Courtney's house Bridgette gets a phone call from the killer saying that "she pointed at the wrong person ... again!" This means that Devon Joseph is probably not responsible for the disappearance of her mother and that Goeff cannot be the killer since he is arrested. The next day after Goeff is released he and Bridgette argue and as a result Bridgette goes to the bathroom to relax. There she hears Heather and her friend Lindsay gossiping about her. Heather actually suspects that maybe Bridgette is the killer and she is lying while Lindsay is disgusted by these accusations. The killer is then revealed to be in the other toilet cubicle, grabs Bridget and stabs her in the stomach, but then it turns out to be a prank (so the knife is fake and Bridgette is fine) of the two high school jokers Ezekiel and Cody. Principal Dwyan is very angry at both of them and sends them straight to their home.
In Cody's house, Ezekiel is quite concerned about the fact that there is a killer on the loose, but Cody reassures him, claiming that "this is a killer who only follows women." A few moments later Cody gets a phone call from the killer who starts teasing him. Cody teases him back to Ezekiel's anxiety. A few moments later the killer appears from above and kills Ezekiel. Cody tries to escape but fails and the killer kills him as well.
In the evening Sheriff Chef Hatchet informs Harold that he has contacted the hotel where Chris was supposed to arrive and understood from them that Chris never came so he is marked as a murder suspect. Harold has decide to tell Bridgette about it to not upset her.
The next day Harold meets Leshawna near the school and they start flirting with each other and Harold hints that the main suspect is Chris.
In order to keep the residents of Wawankabro safe, a curfew is imposed on the town and the school is closed until further notice. As a result Duncan (Courtney's boyfriend) and Goeff decide to throw a party at Duncan's house. The girls are also invited to the party along with Noah, Duncan's cousin and Trent, Gwen's musucian boyfriend. Meanwhile at school Heather and her boyfriend Alejandro decide to have their sexual fantasy in school locker room in the shower. While they were in the locker rooms, manager Dwyn was murdered in his office. Before Heather and Alejandro start having sex Heather gets a phone call. She ties naked Alejandro with toy handcuffs to the showerhead so he "won't run away" while she wears a robe and goes to answer the phone. It turns out that the person who called her is the killer who starts teasing her. Heather does not take his threat seriously, is rude to him and hang off the call. When she returns to the shower she sees Alejandro's dead body. After a brief chase around the school, Heather also falls victim to the killer.
In the videogame store where Noah works, he talks to Trent and points out that he suspects that either Goeff or Duncan (or both together) is the killer. Duncan overhears this conversation and he threatens Noah not to "talk nonsense." Later at home, Trent organizes his band's van. He gets a phone call from the killer. Trent threatens the killer and gets into the car only to find that the killer was sitting in the back seat and even before Trent is maneged to escape the killer slits his throat.
Leshawna find out from Harold about the party that Duncan and Goeff are organizing, feels that there is going to be a sotry, she and Owen go to the party and she convinces Harold to help her come in. The entrance to the famous reporter excites everyone and while she distracts everyone Owen puts a hidden camera in the living room. After they leave Harold gets a report of a suspicious vehicle on the side of the road and he offers Leshawna to come with him and she agrees while Owen stays in their van. Meanwhile Courtney is going to get more beer from the garage where she's being attacked by the killer. She manages to fight back, opens the garage door in order to escape but then the killer presses the stop button and forcibly closes the gate on Courtney's neck and breaks it thus causing her death.
Goeff shows up at the party and he offers Bridget to go settle the relationship between them and Duncan accompanies them to his room. Meanwhile Noah explains to Gwen and the others party guests the rules of surviving a horror film.
Bridgette and Goeff forgive each other and decide to lose their virginity together. Meanwhile Noah gets a phone call that the bodies of principal Dwyne, Alejandro and Heather were found at the school and as a result almost all the party guests leave to see and leave Duncan, Noah and Gwen behind.
Harold and Leshwna find the car and Harold recognizes that it's Chris' car. The two immediately decide to return to Duncan's house. After Goeff and Bridgette finish and get dressed Bridgette talks to him again about her mother's disappearance and the suspicion she had of him. Immediately afterwards the killer appears behind Goeff and stabs him to death. Bridgette escapes from the killer out of the house and runs to Lesawna and Owen's van. Owen let her in and the two watch as the killer intends to murder the drunken Noah. But when the killer notices the camera he comes out and slits Owen's throat. Bridgette escapes out of van.
Harold and Leshawba return to the house and discover that there is no one there. Harold enters the house and orders Leshawna to return to the city and call the police. When Leshawna tries to drive she is surprised by Owen's body which is thrown on her windshield and as a result she almost run over Bridgette. Leshawna falls off the road and crush a tree and loses consciousness. Bridgette goes back to Duncan's house and finds Harold seriously injured on the floor. She takes the gun from him and then encounters Duncan and Noah blaming each other. She decides to lock them both outside. Gwen appears out of nowhere and soothes Bridgette. She suggests that it is better to bring in Noah as he is physically weaker and "if he is indeed the killer we can subdue him more easily". Bridgette agrees to this plan and she give the gun to Gwen. Gwen brings Noah into the house. Noah remarks that Duncan was completely loset his mind out. Gwen smiles wickedly and shoots hi,, thus revealing that she is the killer.
Duncan came in through the back door and Bridgette ran to him. But it turns out Duncan is also the killer and they both used a voice changer to sound over the phone like the same person. The two take Bridgette to the kitchen and reveal that they also kidnapped her father. When Bridgette asks if it has to do with her mother's disappearance Gwen replies they indeed framed Devon Joseph as the murderer but they did not know either what happened to her. Duncan explains that the murders are actually their revolt against modern society. When Bridgette asks why, in the case of Gwen's murder, she answers "why not?". The two reveal their plan to murder Bridgette and her father, injure each other and tell everyone that Chris is the killer and they are the only survivors. Leshawna appears with Harold's gun, threatening to shoot them both but safty plug is active so it fails and as a result Duncan attacks her and apparently kills her. Leshawna's apperance is a perfect distraction for Bridgette and Chris. She hides at home and teases them both on the phone. She then attacks Gwen and apparently kills her by stabbing her stomcah. Duncan as revenge begins to strangle Bridget but then Noah saves her when he hits his head with a chair. While Duncan tries to murder Noah Bridgette manages to knock him down and then Noah pushes the TV on him and electrocutes Duncan to death. Gwen turns out to be alive and she stabs Noah in the back. Just before she manages to murder Bridgette into a Leshawna wakes up and shoots her. Noah warns that this is the moment when the killer gets up for one last jumpscare. Gwen wakes up for a minute just to get a shot in the head from Leshawna again.
In the morning Harold, still alive, is taken to the hospital while Leshawna delivers an impromptu report of the night's events. Bridgette and Noah talks about them surviving the murderes. Bridgette still wonder what happened to her mother.
the survivor will meet the new (potential) victims: The cast of Revenge of the island.
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2020.08.31 10:09 Meda31Augl Room sex hotel camera hidden
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2020.08.06 16:08 Eki75 Hidden hotel room sex camera
| Previous Section-Part 2C|
A spectacular scenario One of the observations made by the police officers in the Ligonnès’ house on April 18, 2011was a map of France on the fridge. A colored cardstock, A4 format, perforated on the left side, which appears to have been detached from a binder or book from Atlas Editions. Several towns have been highlighted (Épernay, Auxerre), other places have been marked with a cross (Montélimar, Mont Ventoux, northern Aix-en-Provence). And then there are four numbers, each one written next to the cities circled in pen: 1) La Rochelle, 2) Nice, 3) Pau and Tarbes, 4) Perpignan. It could be a list as well as an itinerary. Emmanuel Teneur tells the police that La Rochelle is a city where XDDL has always dreamed of living. They also know from the study of his travels that he frequently passed through the South-West of France when he visited hotels. During his run, Xavier Ligonnès first stopped in Puilboreau, north-east of La Rochelle, but none of the other circles correspond to the following stages: Blagnac, Le Pontet, La Seyne-sur-Mer, Roquebrune-sur -Argens. From the start, the investigators have nevertheless been convinced that there is, in this journey, a key to decipher. During his stay in Formula 1, Xavier Ligonnès passed in one of the corridors with a large book in hand, Glacé, by Bernard Minier, and glanced at the camera installed there. The police read the book to see if there was a code to crack. They retained details of it (on page 17, one of the characters goes to the Pyrenees and stops in Toulouse in an “economical hotel,” and the director of the psychiatric hospital is called Doctor Xavier), they noticed the similarities between XDDL and the serial killer the novel is about, described as a “manipulative, sociopathic, and intelligent” who took great care “to make the corpses disappear.” They also wrote down the Latin epilogue meaning “Death extinguishes crime,” but then what?
They tirelessly review the chronology of the last few days with a fine-toothed comb, hour by hour, minute by minute. This reconstruction is based on the credit card payments made by Xavier Ligonnès, but especially on the data of his phone, the use of which is intriguing. In the days following the assassinations, Ligonnès kept turning it off and on again, but most of the time left it offline: all day from the 6th until 9:40pm, and all day from the 7th until 5:20pm. He also gradually deactivates the cell phones of his whole family, first that of Benoît in the night of April 3 to 4, then that of Arthur on the 7, and finally those of Agnès, Anne, and Thomas on the 8. Is it because he doesn’t want to be disturbed by loved ones who are starting to worry or because he is taking precautions to disappear? During his run, Ligonnès only turns on his phone twice: on April 10 at 9.27 a.m. to quickly retrieve his voicemail while he is on the A87 headed toward Cholet, and the next day for the same reason and almost at the same time, at 9.48 am, this time in Rochefort, south of La Rochelle. After this, four days before evaporating, XDDL permanently deactivates his device, which will never be found. The rest of his journey is known thanks to the data sent by his 3G key, which he uses to browse the Internet, and in particular to connect to the Cité-Catholique forum, sometimes twice a day, in the morning before leaving and in the evening when he arrives back at the hotel, without knowing why he does it so frantically, or why at such crucial moments. During the nine days which separate the crimes from his disappearance, Ligonnès has only rare exchanges with his relatives. He corresponds mainly by e-mail to manage logistical questions: he suggests to Christian L., a former employee of La route des commercials, to take over the company’s website; he writes to Bertram de Verdun about the deposit of his father’s apartment; he informs the company Sphinx who employed him as a mystery shopper for his “departure for Australia.” Ligonnès also sends an SMS to Emmanuel Teneur on April 7 at 9:10 p.m. and another on April 8 at 5:59 p.m. That’s all. Anyone who tries to reach him after the last assassination falls directly into his inbox.
All except one: Michel Rétif.
On April 6, Xavier Ligonnès is unreachable most of the day. Emmanuel Teneur calls him twice in the evening, once at 9:39 p.m., another at 10:22 p.m., and each time falls on his voicemail. But in the meantime, at 9:45 p.m., when Michel Rétif calls Ligonnès in turn, his phone is on and he answers. The conversation lasts 25 minutes, until 10:10 p.m. Immediately after, XDDL turns off his phone again. In other words: Michel Rétif called Xavier Ligonnès in the one and only 30-minute slot where he was reachable. Rétif never mentioned this conversation to the police. We can still believe in a coincidence, but no need to have a great imagination to consider that Ligonnès has precisely activated his phone on that date and at that time because he was waiting for the call from this friend he considers a brother.
Michel Rétif’s phone seems to contain secrets that he would like to cover up. The study of his line shows that his most regular correspondents are his partner, M., and his son, A. The statement of his telephone boundaries, pages and pages of activated cell towers, allows us to reconstruct his last months as if revealing a photo in the bathroom of a darkroom. And what appears is enough to make the investigators fall from their chair: a few days after this mysterious telephone conversation, Michel Rétif undertook an intriguing trip to the Var on April 13, 14 and 15, to the place and at the precise time of the disappearance of Ligonnès. It is then sufficient to superimpose the two chronologies, that of Xavier Ligonnès’ last days and that of his friend Michel Rétif, like tracing papers, for a new scenario to emerge, a spectacular scenario.
April 13. Xavier Ligonnès wakes up at the Auberge de Cassagne, near Avignon, Michel Rétif at his home in Lunel in the Hérault, 800 kilometers further south.
Michel Rétif heads east, he arrives in Fréjus at noon. XDDL takes the same road and exits the A8 25 kilometers further in Mandelieu around 4 p.m.
In the afternoon, Michel Rétif explores the region. He then heads to Roquebrune-sur-Argens.
At 7:04 p.m., XDDL arrives at the counter of the Première Classe hotel in La Seyne-sur-Mer, 120 kilometers west of Mandelieu - which makes one wonder about the reason for his long detour through the surroundings of Fréjus.
April 14. A little before 10 a.m., Michel Rétif left the Mercure hotel in Fréjus, where he spent the night. He travels fifteen kilometers and ends again at Roquebrune-sur-Argens. He then spent an hour in Adrets-de-l’Estérel, a neighboring village. Then goes back to the hotel and stays (or at least his phone) in his room until the next day.
Same day, three hours later. XDDL is in turn in Roquebrune-sur-Argens. He registers for Formula 1 around 3:30 p.m. and leaves between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. At 8:32 p.m., send an email to Rétif pretending to be the DEA. “We are doing the final cleaning of the easily traceable means of communication of the family taken over by us,” he writes. At this point, the two friends (or at least their computers and phones) are in their bedroom of their hotels. It is the last known night of Ligonnès, and it is only eleven kilometers from Michel Rétif.
April 15. Xavier Ligonnès wakes up early, he takes a coffee from the automatic machine just before 8 am. At 10:19 am, he leaves his hotel by car. In the trunk, a computer bag, a travel bag, and the suit cover that could contain the 22 long rifle. Thirty minutes later, Michel Rétif also leaves his hotel.
At 11 a.m., Michel Rétif is in Muy, another village close to Roquebrune. We don’t know where Xavier Ligonnès is.
Then, Michel Rétif stops for two hours in Draguignan. We still don’t know where Xavier Ligonnès is.
At 4 pm, Xavier Ligonnès returns to park his car near the Formule 1 hotel. Ten minutes later, he disappears from radar permanently. At 5 p.m., Michel Rétif returns home to Lunel.
Path of Xavier DuPont de Ligonnès and Michel Rétif
On May 25, two days after this discovery, a captain of the Montpellier BRI and his team went into hideout in front of Michel Rétif’s home. The investigators do not have formal proof that this one crossed Ligonnès in Roquebrune-sur-Argens during these three fateful days, but they are considering a possibility: that Rétif has agreed to a meeting with Ligonnès during the phone call of April 6, then that he went to pick him up in the Var and that he has been hiding him at his home ever since. It is already dark in Lunel when the BRI arrives in front of Rétif’s two-story pavilion. For several hours, the elite police in hiding places observe what is happening there, even if the entrance gate obstructs their view. On the sidewalk, a Peugeot 407 station wagon is parked. This is Rétif’s company vehicle. The agents watch the lights come on, go out, and wait to see if Ligonnès’ silhouette will emerge through a window. The hours pass. The street is empty. There is soon no more movement inside the pavilion. At 1:30 am, they break camp, but will always keep their eye on Michel Rétif.
The investigation into the disappearance of Xavier Ligonnès is proof that we always leave traces and that the past inevitably ends up rising, as erosion brings back fossils on the surface. At the beginning of July 2011, a new aspect of Michel Rétif’s life, which he would have liked to keep quiet, was brought to light. The investigators of the DCPJ manage to bring back to life the files that Ligonnès wanted to erase from his servers. In these, they discover private documents hidden in files devoted to his professional activities. It looks like a life summed up by things kept in a shoebox. There are pictures of Catherine, songs by Waylon Jennings, a family photo album (Agnès and the children, Arthur with his girlfriend, Thomas’ 14th birthday party, the beach vacation in 2007, the family with the two Labradors), reflections on religion, letters to Agnès, a fish recipe. But it is another directory which reserves the greatest surprise to the investigators: this one contains 22 backups of e-mails exchanged between Michel, Xavier, and Agnès. The story they tell, like an epistolary novel, is that of a deception, then of a love trio.
It all started at the beginning of January 2006. After having searched the internet history of the family computer, Xavier Ligonnès then suspected Agnès of having had extramarital affairs, and in particular of hiding an “unspeakable secret.” He puts her under pressure, and she cracks very quickly. On January 9, she confesses to having chatted with men on the Internet and maintained a form of electronic relationship with Michel Rétif for a few months. They first chatted on MSN, and then their words got out of hand and they ended up putting the words to action via video, but never, she assures, “for real.” The emails that follow allow us to understand that Xavier Ligonnès then went to find Michel Rétif. Not to sever ties with him, but to offer to “share” his wife with him! That’s the word he chooses. Xavier Ligonnès has never been very adventurous sexually. Michel is more so. They agree to meet in a hotel near Nantes train station on Monday January 16, 2006 to experience a three-way sexual relationship. Agnès, Michel, and Xavier spend two days and two nights there. Two other meetings will take place, once in a hotel in Burgundy, and another at the family home, an evening of which Xavier Ligonnès will keep a video recording.
The letters which follow once again shed light on Xavier Ligonnès’ need for deranged and totalitarian control: obviously hurt - in his intellectual ego rather than in his love - that his woman could have wanted other men, he tries to take things into his own hands. It is he who proposes to Michel the ménage-a-trois, which takes place under his thumb. He also asks to be copied on all the email and SMS exchanges between Agnès and Michael, and the latter, out of fear or devotion, comply. After each experience, Ligonnès even sends them letters (subject: “evening 1”, “evening 2”, etc.) to take stock of it. In one of them, he draws up a table of their trio, presenting methodically and for each participant the advantages and disadvantages of this group sex relationship, fantasies, and positions tried or not, which he measures in percentages. He repeatedly recalls that he has been cheated, but this is only a pretext or a lever for manipulation. On March 17, 2006, he sends a new e-mail to Michel and Agnès (subject: “size”), which he introduces with “Hello, Pigs!” He explains a method to assess the size of his penis. He says that it is necessary “to insert the ruler well,” because the measurement must be made from the pubic bone. He speaks of himself in the third person (he is “Xav”) to give the dimensions of his - very much above the world average, according to him.
Michel Rétif does not respond to these messages nor does he express his embarrassment in the face of the reports drawn by his friend. But reading them makes the investigators understand that they have underestimated the nature of the relationship that unites him to Ligonnès. They have long thought that if anyone were keeping a secret buried, if there was a friend who could confide in XDDL, it was Emmanuel Teneur. But they realize that the friendship that Rétif and Ligonnès forged during their great initiatory trip to the United States and the following years is indelible, perhaps even above all. A friendship of blood brothers, as Michel often says. This has already been heard twice, and yet he has never spoken to the police about the April 6 call or said why Ligonnès turned on his phone precisely at that time; he did not tell them that he had had an affair with Agnès, then with Agnès and Xavier; nor did he tell them that he was in the Var, in the same place as XDDL, at the time of his disappearance.
On July 26, the police officers of the OCRVP summon Michel Rétif to the headquarters of the PJ in Montpellier. The lieutenant who hears it has no means of coercion. His only chance to reveal Rétif’s possible secrets is to conduct this conversation like a boxing match, he must push him to his limits, wring out questions to him, and when the time comes, ask him the one he does not expect. The interview begins at 4:50 p.m. Michel Rétif describes his identity, reviews the nature of his relations with XDDL, he talks about their trip to the United States, the 48 States they visited together, the meeting of Xavier and Agnès, La route de commercial, heritage, the affair with Catherine, the last time they saw each other, in February, in Lunel. Stories that he has already repeated several times to the police but that he has yet to replay. At the end of three hours, Rétif ends up admitting having been “the lover” or the “sexual partner” of Agnès. He tells the details of this trio, and every minute seems to make him suffer a little more. He asks for the break of his interview, which ends at 8:45 pm. In the evening, his partner picks him up “with a teaspoon.” But it is the next day that things get tough. The OCRVP lieutenant kept the hardest part for the second session, which begins at 10:30 am.
Question: Did you try to reach Xavier Ligonnès after the crimes?
Answer: I tried to call Xavier and Agnès during the whole weekend of April 9 and 10, I sent them text messages, but I had no answer and my calls were sent directly to voicemail. On Monday 11, before leaving for the trip, I discovered the mail in my mailbox.
Question: Did you receive any other mail afterwards?
Answer: No, I haven’t had any. On the 12th or 13th, I sent him an email asking him for information on one of his cars, the Xantia station wagon. I received a response on the 13th or 14th from the pseudo ‘DEA’, saying that we could no longer reach them. I spoke about it with Manu [nickname of Emmanuel Teneur, ed.], he had already gone to his home […] He explained to me that it was ‘creepy,’ the house was empty, the sheets tidy. The shutters were closed. In ten years, he had never closed them. It was a mistake, I think. That’s what alerted the neighbors.
Question: Why do you say this is a mistake?
Answer: He usually did not close them. If he has been plotting his crimes for months, I don’t understand this mistake.
Question: Are you sure you tell us everything, Mr. Rétif?
Answer: I am telling you the truth. I didn’t know about anything. Even if he prepared his escape, Xavier had not warned me.
Question: When was the last time you had Xavier on the phone?
Answer: It is not complicated. It must be Thursday 7. It must be evening. We regularly called each other at that time.
Question: Can you give us more details about this call?
Answer: It was a standard, short call, seven or ten minutes. We discussed common things. Xavier was normal, as usual. He didn’t appear stressed.
Question: What you are saying is wrong. This conversation took place on April 6, and it lasted about 25 minutes. What do you have to tell us? What did you talk about?
Answer: I don’t remember anymore.
Question: Mr. Rétif, you are focused on certain details and very vague on major elements of the case. Are you trying to hide something for Xavier?
Answer: No, I am not hiding anything. I don’t remember those 25 minutes. I don’t know what we talked about anymore.
Question: That day, you are the only correspondent of Xavier, his phone was switched off all day, except when you called. What can you tell us about this ‘coincidence’?
Answer: I don’t see, I don’t know why I was the only one talking to him.
Question: This call reminds us of a commanded call. Have you had contact by email before? Did he give you a specific appointment?
Answer: No, not as I remember, I swear.
The lieutenant then shoots down his last card. He shows Michel Rétif his trips on April 13, 14 and 15, and those of Ligonnès.
Question: Can you give us an explanation of this other ‘coincidence?
Answer: I was in the region for a business trip. I had booked two nights at the Mercure de Fréjus. And on the 15th, I had to pick up my daughter in Draguignan. On the 13th and 14th, I had dinner and spent the night at the hotel.
Question: You did not spend the evening of April 13 at the Hôtel de Fréjus! You went to Grimaud, then to Saint-Tropez and you didn’t get back until 10:55 pm. Explain yourself.
Answer: I don’t see, I don’t remember.
Question: Mr. Rétif, you are lying to us!
Answer: Ah that’s it, I remember! I met my friend Laurent\ at the end of the afternoon, ‘Nuts,’ a pilot who has his girlfriend nearby.* I’m sorry, I didn’t remember. We had dinner at her place and then we went. went for a drink.
Question: Are you sure that Xavier did not give you an appointment in the Var by phone, during your 25-minute call on April 6?
Answer: No, I swear to you, I didn’t know he was there. I learned about it from the newspapers after the bodies were found.
Question: Who could have assisted him in this department?
Answer: I don’t know.
At 6:10 p.m., this July 27, Michel Rétif leaves the headquarters of the PJ of Montpellier. Everyone is on the brink: the lieutenant of the OCRVP, who has not managed to extract any secret from him, is on the brink of the abyss. The investigation, which still has no lead to follow, is on the brink. Michel Rétif, he is about to jump in.
Michel Rétif in September 2010
* Laurent is a friend of Michel Rétif. He is an airplane pilot. He has never come into contact with the police. On the evening of April 13, he dined in Cogolin, a commune in the Var, with Michel Rétif. He remembers Michel “on the little terrace at the back of the house” of his girlfriend at the time. Questioned by us, he confirms all the facts reported by Rétif on this evening.
Next Section-Part 2E
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2020.07.14 14:43 yoHatchet DO NOT open emails you weren’t expecting, you’ll get more than you bargained for.
BDSM, Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, Masochism. A short string of letters that encompasses everything from light whipping to fully bound savage beatings. Some consider these proclivities to be a rather strange thing. Others however find it’s the spice that helps free them from their normal stresses.
Some people chase the pleasure of something they can’t get in their normal life. Take for example the powerful CEO who can have, or do anything. He orders around everyone never being told what to do. By day a pillar, a unmoving force powering a company. Then at night they may like to put on a dog collar, and be dragged around by a leather clad dominatrix. Degraded, and subservient. It’s a yearning for a feeling they never get in their normal life.
It’s not always been easy to find a partner who’s so willing to indulge your darkest desires. It can be difficult to introduce, or discuss. Some afraid of the reaction, or the sneering laughs of the disapproving, and ignorant. As demand drives supply, need drives innovation. As a result the internet has made finding a partner that matches your lifestyle a few clicks away. The Sub Dom Club, a website of debauchery, and exploration. Find a partner, a couple, or even a group. Possibilities as endless, as the fetishes encompassed within. Join now, your dreams await.
“I’m not sure” I mutter to myself. The glow of the screen illuminated my face in the dark as I stare at my email. Where did this come from, my spam filter missed it, and I’ve not signed up for email lists. Yet the chemicals in my brain continue to drive me to want to click. “What harm could it do to just browse” I say to myself. I click, and the light on my monitor dims tremendously, as my browser is thrown in to darkness from the background of the websites layout.
My heart starts to race, as my brain processes all the information being filtered into my eyes, from the page. The page opens to a beautiful busty auburn haired woman wearing a masquerade mask, clad in red lace negligee holding a black leather riding crop. Her other hand beckons me to click the sign up prompt. It’s as though my body moved without command. I select the prompt, and am shown a questionnaire.
The usual stuff follows, name, age, sex, and orientation. The next page however is a lot more personal. 1. Do you like to Dominate, or be Dominated? I click the drop down box, and select “Dominate” 2. Do you prefer your partner bound, or unbound? Again I select “bound”, my heart races faster, is it possible that this website could really match me with someone who matches my desires? 3. Gagged, or Ungagged? Gagged, the thought of a gorgeous woman tied up, and unable to speak as a I satisfy her every desire fuels my erection though I dare not satisfy myself till I’m able to share it with someone else.
I finish the questionnaire, and it brings me to a final screen asking me to upload a profile picture. I click through to my pictures folder nearly unable to contain myself. I select a photo from my trip to the beach last summer. My abdominal muscles glistening in the heat, and water of the ocean. My sun kissed skin shiny from sun screen, and my dirty blonde hair brushing my shoulders as I throw a peace sign at the camera.
Now I’m at the home screen I start to look at the different menus when I hear a “ding” causing me to jump. I quickly see a “1” had appeared on the tab with a chat bubble on it. “A message, so suddenly” I think. I click through, and see a name. “Sophia”, her profile picture shows long curly brown hair, with a face hidden behind a leather gimp mask, Mysterious, and kinky. Her message reads “Hello, how about we skip formalities, and you come claim your bound whore”
So forward I think, but the throbbing heat radiating from my pants burns away my normal inhibitions. “Give me a time, and a place, I’ll show you what pleasure a seasoned Dom can bring.” My fingers tingle with every stroke of a key. “How about tonight” then a message pops up with an address. “Am I really doing this?” I think. What if it’s a trick? NO! I can’t continue living my life ruled by my fears. I reply a simple “see you there ;)”
I grab a shower, then my car keys. The address was for a hotel, a couple miles from my home. A rather nice hotel at that, a couple hundred a night. I pull into the attached parking garage. I stare in my rear view mirror, and slap my face. “You can do this” I say aloud. I exit my vehicle, and walk for the elevator. Floor 11 room 9, the quaint blue carpets, and gaudy gold fixtures line the halls of the floor. I spot an Abstract painting of multicolored splotches set above a table with fake flowers, and travel brochures atop it at the end of the hall. I arrive at the door, and breath deeply feeling myself with confidence, and fake bravado. I knock, and the door creaks open.
I open the door, into a large room. Beautiful stone tile lines the floor, that leads to a king sized bed. The bed is draped in beautiful white linens, with pillows as fluffy as clouds. A gorgeous cherry frame encompasses the mattress with immaculate craftsmanship. My attention is quickly drawn from the bed to the sight in the middle of the room. In a swing like contraption lays the object of my desire. That curly brown hair, with her entire body wrapped in a leather cat woman suit. Red ball gag fixed between her thick voluptuous lips. Nothing, exposed save for her beautiful eyes, and tight backside. I slide in the room locking the chain bolt behind me.
I waste no time getting undressed guided by the will of my desires. We make passionate love, and as we both reach our climax I notice something that freezes me. A camera. It’s was in the corner of the room. I push myself back confused how had I not seen it in my horny fervor. “What the fuck is this” I scream through heavy breaths. silence. Then I hear a wet crunch as Sophia flex’s her arm. With ease she dislocates her shoulder freeing it from the ropes. I fall back in horror, “what… what is this.” I stammer. Another crunch, and the shoulders back in place. She pulls the gag from her mouth, revealing she has no front teeth, and says in a strangely male voice “do you know who I am?” “No!” I scream chest pumping. She removes her mask to reveal her face, and says “I’m Gaten Matarazzo, and this is Prank Encounters”.
I stumble on to my butt, clambering toward the door. My lungs tight in my chest. Feeling light headed, unable to catch a full breath. I look on as my host dislocated their other arm crunch. I scramble to get my clothes on so scared, and embarrassed. I’ve barely got my boxers on when I hear another crack. I look to see my prankster contorting their body. His head now backwards cackling in this weird double toned voice, like it’s laughing over itself. I watch ass it slowly transforms. The hair on its head failing away to sparse whisps, as it’s bones crack, and shift. The leather tears away from its skin revealing grossly Pale yellow splotched skin. Claws rusty, and grimy shoot out from it’s finger tips. It’s jaw dislocates, and protrudes as horrible yellow stalagmite teeth come forth.
I cut my losses now with just my boxers, and pants on deciding to leave my other clothes behind. It starts to free itself from the swing, still a writhing mass of shifting bones, and horrid skin. Finally finding my proper balance, I undo the chain, and bolt out of there. My eyes suddenly realize I’m somewhere different what I thought was a nice hotel hallway was really decrepit. The floors, and walls stained yellow. The wallpaper peeling, and holes in the ceiling. My confusion last only a moment, as I hear a loud labored scream like a dying animal from room I just left. I sprint even as my lungs still sore from hyperventilating burn in my chest. I hear it behind me crash out into the hall. I make it to the stairs exit out to the parking garage, deciding to take the stairs was probably a better idea. I’m on floor 11, but parked on the 2nd. I run, but practically fall down the stairs I move so fast. As I reach floor 7 I hear it bound clumsily into the stairwell still screaming.
3 floors now it is gaining, just 2 levels behind me. As I crash out the exit door I hear it at the top of the stair case behind me. I think quickly, and grab a fallen piece of rebar from the ground. Shoving it between the handle, and the wall. I start to run, as I hear it hit the door. I hear the whining of the metal bend as it throws itself into it. I make it to my car, get in and throws my keys in the ignition, and the engine roars to life. I squeal tires backing up as I hear the metal door burst open. I think quick, and slam my car in reverse as the creature approaches. I slam into, I hear a loud scream of pain, as I kick it into drive. I take off, and in my rear view mirror I see it’s only stunned as it stumbles on to its impossibly long stringy limbs.
I make it out of the parking garage, without again seeing the creature. The whole ride home I’m sobbing, and crying. My brain couldn’t even form questions, I was utterly in shock. I pull into my driveway I breath a numb sigh of relief, wiping my eyes. I make it inside, and pass out my brain 100% spent. Waking up I decide I need to write down my thoughts, I’m so utterly confused. After a little googling I was told this place had the most experts in the subject of my experience. So please if you know anything, let me know.
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2020.07.09 22:28 myloveislikewoah Hotel room hidden camera sex
Took me forever to copy/paste 😂
PALMA, Majorca — A provocative theory in vogue among physicists and philosophers suggests that we humans are not experiencing, and have not ever experienced, reality.
What we understand as reality, the theory proposes, may merely be one of an astronomical number of vivid computer simulations of an ancient past, designed by humanity’s distant descendants to study the evolution of their forebears. If so, the United States of America is about as real as, say, the Mushroom Kingdom in an unattended game of Super Mario Bros. Our creators are not the deities of any major world religion, but the architects of the simulation we inhabit.
How might they perceive our lives — this advanced civilization for whom every facet of our existence, from elation to exhaustion, is merely edu-tainment about the human experience?
Hopefully with an excitement similar to the rapt fascination with which the production team of “Below Deck Mediterranean” watched the cast of “Below Deck Mediterranean” living out the events that would become season five of “Below Deck Mediterranean” (currently airing on Bravo) twenty-four hours a day for six straight weeks, from a small headquarters hidden in a stateroom on the “Below Deck Mediterranean” yacht as it sailed around Majorca late last summer.
What happened?” exclaimed Courtland Cox, a gray-bearded, Argus-eyed executive producer, after one of more than a dozen simultaneous feeds broadcast Malia White, the franchise’s first-ever female bosun, cutting herself off with a midsentence expletive.
“Seriously?” Ms. White grumbled on the monitor.
“What happened?” Mr. Cox, of the 51 Minds production company, repeated, voice rising in concern. In the cramped control room, which was, by the accounts of all present, a decadently spacious control room, several pairs of eyes pored over video monitor mosaics — large computer screens subdivided into Brady Bunch tiles, each displaying a different view of the action taking place on or in the immediate vicinity of the yacht. The screens rested on a plywood platform erected weeks earlier over the magnificent bed in (what The Wellington’s paying guests were not aware was) the vessel’s true master suite.
Did that boat—?” Mr. Cox interrupted himself as Ms. White recommenced fuming onscreen. (“Sometimes life really sucks,” she said to no one.) Because cast members are banned from interacting with, or even acknowledging, the coterie of producers, editors, camera operators, audio specialists, fixers, and occasional representatives from Bravo network brass who spend weeks tracking their movements — much of the production crew’s on-location work consists of attempting to reconstruct the cast’s inner monologues as they unfold inside cast members’ minds.
To aid in this implausible task, the production crew relies on 19 cameras; typed chronologies of every action that has taken place since they began rolling; a walkie-talkie tuned, baby monitor-style, to the channel where the cast members communicate about work; extra ears in the form of two editors perpetually plugged into alternate live audio feeds; architectural diagrams of the yacht on which they sail; a hand-drawn map of the marina in which they dock; call sheets laying out each day’s likely schedule; cheat sheets featuring the photos, names, and roles of boat crew members (“DECKHAND”) and yacht guests (“PRIMARY’S FRIEND, MARRIED TO YUKI”); and, at time of filming, more than 160 episodes’ worth of experience anticipating and on-the-fly adapting to human behavior. Thus, in seconds, Mr. Cox deduced what had prompted Ms. White’s reaction: a newly-arrived boat was obstructing her path through the marina — exactly as her boss, Captain Sandy Yawn, had warned might happen, over Ms. White’s breezy protestations hours earlier. Mr. Cox’s chuckle was diabolic.
Beyond ‘Housewives’ Those who have never seen “Below Deck,” “Below Deck Mediterranean” or “Below Deck Sailing Yacht,” and who do not wish to spend the rest of their lives glued to Bravo’s flotation-themed programming, must never, ever watch even one minute of either program, for the “Below Deck” franchise lures in viewers with the pitiless ease of sirens summoning sailors to hurl their ships against the sun-warmed Grecian coast.
Typically, every incarnation is set in a new locale and follows what is presented generally as an eight to 10 trip “season” in the life of a luxury charter boat, from the perspective of the vessel’s crew.
Unlike Bravo’s ostensible tentpole franchise “The Real Housewives,” which depicts the lives of the same cabals of wealthy women year after year — and often underperforms “Below Deck” in ratings, according to Noah Samton, a senior vice president of current production for Bravo — the yacht shows feature few familiar faces. Apart from captains and chief stewardesses, the majority of crew members arrive fresh each season, and are never seen again.
The ultrawealthy guests are still more evanescent. Viewers are told, and immediately permitted to forget, their names as, one after another, each group of six to 10 high-rolling vacationers is welcomed aboard. At its salty core, the franchise is a workplace drama. Just as one needn’t be a wind turbine technician to appreciate a warm summer breeze, no knowledge of, or even interest in, boats, or the sea, is required to enjoy 900 hours of “Below Deck.” The most fundamental element is the ship’s hierarchy, which simultaneously commands and receives no respect. Multiple seasons in, the landlocked viewer may yet be unable to articulate even one specific duty of a lead deckhand — but what the viewer will know, and will demand, is that he not speak to the bosun like that ever again if he wants to continue serving on this ship.
The operation’s inherent expense and scheduling logistics — booking 47 hotel rooms for six straight weeks for production, for instance — render the filming timeline largely inflexible. Whereas a season of “Housewives” might shoot for four to five months, “Below Deck” is allotted one third of that time to produce the same number of episodes. It is, for a reality show, uncommonly constrained by the bounds of reality.
“You can’t say, ‘Oh, the show’s not going great. Let’s extend shooting three weeks,’” Mr. Samton said. He was seated in “Below Deck” mission control as part of his traditional once-a-season set visit to ensure production was running smoothly. “The window for shooting the show is the window and that’s it. Whatever we get, we get and we’re done.”
Which is why it was tough, that September morning, to tell who was more distressed that the yacht had not left the dock: the captain or the network executive.
The problem was wind gusts, which, for insurance reasons, precluded Captain Sandy’s attempt to pull out of the crowded marina, lest she assume personal liability for any possible damage or injury, to the tune of tens of millions of dollars.
It’s heartbreaking,” said Mr. Samton. “I actually didn’t sleep last night.”
When working out of his NBCUniversal office at 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York City, Mr. Samton receives daily briefings of the cast’s activities, assembled by the shows’ producers — similar to behavioral reports from your child’s teacher (“except so much more exciting!” said Mr. Samton). Per production policy, the production crew cannot influence the captain’s decision about how or when to operate the boat — such as by notifying her that the wind has died down to insurance-approved levels.
Cast members scrambled, around midday, to orchestrate a beach picnic that would distract the guests from the fact their seafaring was being limited to those waves that had migrated from the open water to lap gently against their docked luxury yacht. In the control room, where crew members had been working since six that morning, anxiety begat snacking.
“I eat stuff in the control room that I would never eat in my real life, ever,” said Mr. Cox, perusing a packed shelf of Spanish supermarket treats. “I get halfway through a thing of gummies and I’m disgusted with myself. But I just start stress-eating Swedish Fish.”
Simultaneously, on one monitor, the yacht’s chef, Hindrigo Lorran, nicknamed Kiko, prepared a sumptuous spread of jamon Ibérico to tide the guests over until their six-course dinner.
“Every location we go to, there’s some sort of special flavor of Pringles,” said Mr. Cox, reclaiming his chair. “So that’s a highlight for everybody.”
How to Make Reality on a Boat A suitable “Below Deck” locale offers easy access to a major airport (to fly charter guests in and out, at network expense), six weeks’ worth of available hotel rooms to accommodate production (in Thailand, every crew member ended up in a mini-villa), and a robust network of local suppliers able to continuously outfit the yacht with perishables like ice and fresh meat. It must also, of course, be a place that will look beautiful on TV — the better to complement beautiful cast members.
While the pool of professional, available yachties is smaller than that of, say, housewives, it is, at least, a pool crowded with foxy, daring exhibitionists, which makes it conducive to casting.
The yachting industry, Mr. Samton said, “attracts the kind of people that are good TV.”
“First of all, they’re a lot of young, attractive people. A lot of people that are sort of escaping their lives for some reason, or have this adventurous streak in them.”
The zigzag of frantic, round-the-clock shifts followed by sudden reprieves between charters — plus regular windfalls in the form of huge tips (the average, divided evenly among all boat crew members — including off-camera crew, like engineers — is around $20,000) — fosters a work hard, party hard atmosphere.
“People who aren’t on TV are pretty good at keeping drama behind closed doors,” said Mr. Samton. “We’re really good at finding the people who are going to wear it on their sleeves.” (A psychiatric evaluation is a standard part of the casting process.)
When asked if cast members were highly paid compared to other yacht workers in exchange for appearing on television, Mr. Samton said “No, they get paid their normal —” and then cut himself off (“I don’t know if I’m allowed to talk about finances.) A spokesperson for Bravo later confirmed “most” cast members’ pay is “roughly the same as they would make doing their same job on a similar sized boat.” Once the network has convinced nine professional yacht workers to open their lives up to a TV audience, production’s task is to outfit a boat in such a way that it becomes virtually impossible for them to escape that audience.
“They’re here to share every aspect of their lives,” said Mr. Samton in the control room. “Those are the rules. The only place you have privacy on the boat is the bathroom.” Even bathroom sanctity has limits; cast members are informed at the beginning of a season that if two or more people enter one at the same time, a camera should be expected to follow.
“Not just because of sex,” said Mr. Samton. “It could be they’re having a conversation — they hate so-and-so. We need to know that.”
But also because of sex: Toward the end of filming the third season of “Below Deck,” producers discovered that two cast members had secretly been meeting for trysts in their ship’s laundry room — an area that, by chance, was not within the range of any mounted cameras. “The result,” said Mr. Samton, “is now we have a camera in the laundry room.”
In addition to surveillance cameras, there are hand-held cameras, remote-controlled mounted “robo-cams” (which can silently zoom in to reveal the contents of a deckhand’s sext), and the odd Go-Pro stashed somewhere like the inside of a walk-in cooler.
“There’s nowhere they can hide,” Mr. Samton said — including the solitude of their own minds, since cast members are forbidden to listen to music while working, even on headphones, because of its potential to prevent conversations. Headphones are permitted during the legally mandated breaks the cast takes from boat duties. Many use the time to nap — first waving their arms to get the attention of the control room, because they are unable to darken the lights in their own cabins. In the cigar lounge, Tania Hamidi, co-executive producer, gestured at Impressionistic art adorning the walls. “These, believe it or not,” she said, and pointed to a shelf on the other side of the room “are photos of that shelf.”
Copyright law prevents Bravo from broadcasting images it does not own. Thus, during a week of harried preproduction, down came the yacht owner’s paintings of Bill Clinton and Che Guevara; up went photographs of the room’s own shelves, shot by the show’s director of photography, Laurent Basset.
“Every morning,” said Ms. Hamidi, “I come in and —” she pressed firmly around the edges of the peel-away pictures “— reinforce.” The possibility of one falling during a dramatic moment was an abstract source of worry.
Fake panels were placed over mirrored walls in one guest cabin so camera operators could film the space without being caught in reflections. Along an interior corridor, real panels were removed (later put back) to wire for cameras, lights and sounds without compromising the vessel’s watertightness. In the master bedroom-slash-control room, expensive wood and marble surfaces disappeared under protective cardboard and blue painter’s tape. Across one cardboard wall was scrawled a countdown of sorts: “ALL WE HAVE LEFT IS” — here, part of the original message (“THE ENTIRE THING”) had been crossed out in black marker, and replaced with an update — “THE OVERWHELMING MAJORITY OF IT.” It was the third charter of the season.
While the cast receives time off from guest pampering duties in between charters, the production crew, which is also responsible for filming that time off, receives just three days off for the duration of the six week round-the-clock filming blitz. On these days, cast members are sequestered in hotels and asked not to communicate, in an effort to prevent stories from developing further. (It’s not the only break they have from each other: Every few days, in between charters, cast members are individually interrupted from their work restoring the boat for incoming guests, and taken to film talking head interviews about the events immediately preceding.) Late in the afternoon, Nadine Rajabi, another executive producer, arrived, swapping Balenciaga Speed Trainers for white-soled boat shoes to relieve Mr. Cox of his post. The final task for Mr. Cox was to catch her up on the events that had transpired since she left the boat 12 hours earlier, around 4 a.m.
This, Mr. Cox did in such meticulous detail there is not room to describe even one-tenth of it. His report included information like the color of one guest’s sneakers (yellow); a bird’s eye explanation of a walkie talkie-based miscommunication the boat crew themselves had not yet untangled; an assessment of Captain Sandy’s mental state vis-à-vis wind conditions (“She’s kind of psyched herself out a little bit about it…”); a thorough recounting of the various mishaps associated with the ill-fated beach picnic (“…then Alex is trying to pour, essentially, a full double magnum of rosé into a tiny Iceland Spring water bottle…”); the particulars of a gossip session between two stewardesses; and an overheard bit of conversation in which one guest bragged to another about having participated in a sexual act in the hot tub the night before.
“We had eyes on the Jacuzzi the whole time,” said Ms. Rajabi dismissively. “It’s not true.” (“He wishes!” she added.)
But what really captured the production crew’s attention was the quality of the table decorations laid out by the second-in-command stewardess Christine Drake, who goes by “Bugsy.”
“Sandy literally yelled at Hannah last year about the table settings,” explained Mr. Samton, referring to chief stewardess Hannah Ferrier. On the show, Ms. Ferrier displays an inveterate resentment of Ms. Drake — and no particular flair for table décor. “So there’s this whole deep history about the table settings.” Mr. Cox credited Ms. Drake with setting “the most beautiful table you’ve ever seen,” shortly after setting foot on the boat.
Ms. Rajabi looked forward to the ascendant levels of showmanship Ms. Drake would bring to her arrangements of small colored rocks, shells, and glass marbles over the course of the season. “They’re really incredible,” she said.
The obsession with the tablescapes represented a key element of production’s work in the field: anticipating flash points of drama.
“It’s figuring out the archetypes of who the people are and trying to be two steps ahead of that psychologically,” said Ms. Rajabi.
(“Table looks amazing, doesn’t it?” Captain Sandy observed to Ms. Ferrier on a monitor.)
“We watch this like a soccer game,” said Ms. Rajabi. “We’re, like, screaming.”
“This is like a soccer game,” agreed Mr. Samton, “except stuff happens in this.”
The raw footage streaming into the control room so closely resembled the final polished product that, on the monitors, the cast members felt as far away as they do on television. Inside the commandeered master suite, the production crew’s parental affection for the cast (“Careful! Oh, Bugs, don’t hurt yourself!” Mr. Cox pleaded as Ms. Drake ran to find plastic cups) battled for dominance against their incurable addiction to drama (“Kiko! Show me Kiko, Vinny! Show me Kiko! Vinny, show me Kiko!” he yelled to a camera operator, realizing the chef was receiving bad news about dinner).
Mr. Cox described his increased ability to anticipate people’s reactions as “the only muscle I have that’s actually grown over the 13 seasons.”
“I find in my brain, when people are having a conversation, my brain instantly shifts to watch the person as they’re getting a piece of information,” he said. “I’m so used to anticipating guest reaction on stuff, I go to restaurants now and I literally, when a plate is set down, stare at the person who’s about to eat it. I’m like, ‘Oh, he doesn’t like it. And she’s annoyed that he doesn’t like it.’ And my wife is like, ‘Will you please just keep eating?’”
That’s a Wrap Filming for the current season wrapped in early autumn., The cast left the boat, the master suite bed re-emerged from its plywood sarcophagus, and most members of the production crew took a short vacation, to travel, or to go home and sleep for a week. Then it was time to carve more than 4,000 hours of footage into 20, 44-minute installments.
“You’re writing backwards,” said Mr. Samton over a video chat this past spring. “You’re creating the story after. It’s somebody giving you 1000 words and saying ‘Put these in the order of an essay.’”
Using chronological activity logs assembled in the field, a team led by Ms. Rajabi spent two or three weeks sketching out story arcs for the season and per episode.
“It’s like looking for a needle in a stack of needles,” said Ms. Rajabi, also on the call. In March, to accommodate remote work during the coronavirus pandemic, 51 Minds shipped every editor working in postproduction on “Below Deck Med” a weighty hard drive containing 40 terabytes of video footage — quadruple the quantity of data generated annually by NASA’s Hubble Telescope. (Asked about the coronavirus’s effect on future seasons, Mr. Samton said the network was “exploring changes to almost every aspect of production, from where we shoot the show to how we shoot the show.”)
Footage review in postproduction regularly turns up significant moments that passed unnoticed in the field. Any unearthed context can give viewers insight into cast members’ motives and reactions. “People aren’t just fighting to fight,” said Ms. Rajabi. “They’re triggered for a certain reason.”
But explanatory grace is not doled out equally among the cast. On June 17, Bravo and 51 Minds issued a joint statement announcing that “Below Deck Mediterranean” deckhand Peter Hunziker, who is white, had been “terminated” after sharing a sexualized image of a naked black woman in chains to his Instagram account. The announcement came days after the network fired four cast members from “Vanderpump Rules,” a reality show built around a California restaurant, for racist behavior.
Less than a handful of cast members in the “Below Deck” franchise have been people of color. The firings followed months of increasingly vocal criticism about the lack of racial diversity in the casts of the network’s most prominent shows.
In their statement, Bravo and 51 Minds vowed to edit the show “to minimize” Mr. Hunziker’s “appearance for subsequent episodes.” Ms. Rajabi put no stock in the common reality TV star defense of having received a bad edit. “Everything is true to what we shoot,” she said — though occasionally chopped and screwed in pursuit of a more efficient kind of truth.
“They’re stuck on a boat, and they talk about the same things over and over and over again,” Ms. Rajabi said. “It’s basically, how do you tell the story in 45 seconds at a time?”
The answer, with thousands of hours of footage to choose from: however you want.
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2020.06.03 01:02 autotldr Hotel room hidden camera sex
This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 46%. (I'm a bot)
OSAKA - Osaka Prefectural Police have accused a 35-year-old man of using a hidden camera in a hotel room in Osaka City's Chuo Ward to shoot illicit videos of himself engaging in sex with women and uploading the footage, reports the Asahi Shimbun.
Last July, the man, a part-time worker who was not named, allegedly used the camera, concealed by a picture in a frame mounted on a wall of the room, to take tosatsu, or voyeur, footage of himself engaging in sex with a woman last July.
The Minami Police Station on Monday sent the man to prosecutors on suspicion of storing and distributing obscene media for a fee.
"I secretly filmed about 30 women after picking them," the man told police in using the expression nampa, meaning to pick up.
After the man checked out of the room on a day in July, he forgot it inside the room.
Officers met the man after he came to collect the item the next day.
Post found in /worldnews.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
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2020.04.23 23:36 cooklanbrahh Hotel room hidden camera sex
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2020.04.20 19:30 fractalfay He’s my destiny, my everything: Recap of Before the 90 Days S04E09
Welcome to another recap of Before the 90 Days, where a casting director needs to be pulled into a closed-door meeting to review what an actual couple looks like. For example, often at least two people are involved, and one of them is not a phone or a police officer.
This season should have ended with Ed fumbling around a hog pen yelling “SONOFABITCH,” because unless Paul intends to make a body-condom cameo with Danielle riding on his shoulders screaming bitchassslutasswhore, there is no way they’re going to top that. Still, let’s check back in on Sad Stephanie, the least convincing bisexual since that girl who grabbed your boob at a wedding reception and said she thought it would be funny.
Erika called Relationship Coach Ash for insight, and got the silky smooth advice to arrive armed with apology flowers. She tells Stephanie that she would like the chance to do something wrong before Steph shuts her out, but Steph knows that dating aps on phones = one of the five points of the cheating pentacle, and if it jumps to the second point (68 text messages from different women), they’re going to be dangerously close to summoning Evelin. So instead of moving on and introducing a second topic of conversation, Stephanie pivots to the party she’s decided to ruin, and the fact that some of Erika’s friendships make her “uncomfortable.” Is this semantic satiation? When will this word become a dog?
Declaration of this emotion is supposed to bend inconvenient reality, but no matter how many times she professes this, Erika still has had sex before. That’s really inconsiderate, Erika. Could you at least puts your hands on a rock like that chick from Outlander and have sex in another time? Steph should just assume that anyone who comes from a small town has had sex with 80% of the population, only sparing immediate biological relations, teachers over 30, and the guy who sleeps in an abandoned train car and buys everyone beer. What is there to do in a small town? Each other.
Steph notes that her history with illness tells her that she needs to destroy the relationship early, and not drag it out for a number of years until they’re regretting living arrangements and labeling their food in the fridge thoughtful things like, “not fucking yours, asshole.” So Steph borings her way to Erika’s party, sporting her edgiest leather jacket to ratchet her street cred up to -16, which is somewhere between High School Musical and Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo. Animated Erika looks like she’s about to touch her earring to summon the Holograms and Synergy, but beforehand asks Stephanie to weigh in on her jewelry choices. Pro tip: if Steph tells you that a choker is “a little much,” then wear five, because a third color or a second idea is a little too much for Stephanie.
They arrive at the party, and as an introvert, Steph needs to find a dog or cat to pet or something to clean STAT, or she’s going to be stuck looking for the hidden library book for the next three hours. I’m okay with her borrowing my go-to introvert introduction: “I can’t believe I made it!” Instead she opts for, “It’s cold out here!” Ah, complaint bonding. This will go well.
Erika scoots around the party in her electrified, Bowie-inspired, candy-raver ensembles, and appears to be trying to get away from Stephanie or find the good drugs. She falls to her knees to appease the beer bong Gods, which is dangerously close to having fun, and Steph briefly appears to be two-fisting it before she passes the other one off to Erika. Erika’s friend Adam hovers around, dispensing more affection than Steph has allotted to everyone in her orbit for the last three years. Soon Steph wields a drink like a weapon, antibiotics dipping and tugging at her intestines, moving in on Adam to see if he has a heart-on for Erika.
“So…you’re the one who does stuff,” Steph is ready. “That makes me uncomfortable.”
Erika: EVERYONE DRINK!
Adam: Shouldn’t you have sex with someone before you ask them to not have sex with anyone else?
Steph: Uncomfortable comfortable which is uncomfortable and demands! I don’t know. Illness. I’m a little bit of a prude. Why are you laughing?
Somewhere else at the party: I’m telling you, Americans are weird. They fold dollar bills into shapes that look like 9-11. They have Bigfoot, like, everywhere.
Erika: Oh fuck this already.
Adam: I mean, most of us here have done butt stuff together, so I don’t get how a little tonsil hockey is an issue.
At the card table: Go fish, bitch!
Erika is hustled away by concerned friends, and Stephanie breaks down what just happened as “every time I express my feelings, Erika storms off.” Plural? Has anyone seen evidence of Stephanie having two emotions? Is the second one hunger? When Adam points out that everyone has a dating history, Stephanie retorts, “This is so fucked up. In America, we divorce our past before we start our next demanding platonic friendship.”
Erika’s friends are consoling her in the other room, and have become defensive of Erika as Steph tries to vampire the life out of her to preserve her youth. They express concern about her jealousy issues, and how Erika is not herself when Steph is around…a conversation that continues when Steph appears and interrupts, and good on Friend Erika for not distilling her observations for the fragile femme and her fainting couch. Steph of course freaks out, her record skipping on the same two statements, and then declares, “There’s no winning, I’m just going to be the bad guy” before she storms off.
Did she storm off to reflect upon her behavior, and to consider that irrational jealousy is a Steph-problem, not an Erika one? Of course not. Instead Steph once again taps her illness to rationalize her latest ridiculous fit, and says she needs something to control, and has apparently chosen a person. Will someone please get her a therapist?
“I can help her with this.” No Ash, sit down.
Lost and feeling alone, Steph calls her enabler Heather so someone will agree with her. Heather shares Steph’s appalled reaction to the presence of former flames, because I mean, she has never had sex with Stephanie, for example. Heather advises Steph to go back to the hotel, since that’s what she wants to do anyway, and sleep on it.
“I’m not even sure I want this relationship anymore,” Steph confesses, as an Uber approaches to take her back to the hotel, speaking to the no one who believes she ever wanted this relationship.
In a place in Nigeria that is going to need to be cleaned, Billy-Goat Lisa and Usman meet up with Usman’s older brother Muhammad to see if there’s some way to coax a blessing out of Usman’s Queen Mother. When you enter the 9th ring of matriarch, you must be capitalized. Lisa, for whatever reason, hasn’t been able to piece together the “why,” because she lost her birth certificate and thinks she’s 25. Usman makes his case to Muhammad by discussing the economic opportunities in America, which he will reap as soon as he gets that green card and says deuces to York, PA. Lisa, in turn, describes him as her “destiny, my everything” in case you weren’t already cringing.
Darcey: Cringe? Twin flame?
Nicole: Love of your life? Are you going to make berbers?
Jenny: Are you going to be together forever?
Big Ed: I’m in the FILL-A-PEEEEEENS.
Muhammad: I don’t know what any of these white women are talking about, but I know my mother is going to say no, because she makes sense. Lisa is old and smells like Newports and Four Loko. Usman must convince Queen Mother they’ll be married for about a year, but that won’t happen until the season finale.
Two long days later Muhammad’s non-existent efforts fail, so Usman and Lisa decide to go to the mosque so Lisa can perform caring about his family and their values. Lisa has been studying Angela’s segments, and starts referring to Usman’s mother as “mommy” though she hasn’t been invited to call her anything at all. The contrast between these two women is staggering. I don’t know what magic Angela cooks on a muscle car’s radiator, but Lisa would like to borrow some please.
Angela: Mama! Jambo! We brought you a microwave, a VCR, electricity, and did you say something about an engagement party? Well dance me out mama, dance me out! Use that rattle to shake an egg free. Nakupenda! Wait, are we doing Igbo and not Swahili? ị mara mma! Daalụ mama!
Lisa: (Stares blankly, lips a line, looking like she’s about to ride in Eliot’s basket in ET and complain about it, or like a reverse Kaonashi.) Can we have your blessing now? Now? How bout now? Can we have your blessing now? I’m a Christian, but I’ll walk awkwardly into your wrong church. Usman, the beads. THE BEADS. THE BEADS. HEY USMAN, ARE YOU PRAYING? CAN YOU HAND ME SOME BEADS! IT’S THE BEADS PART. OVER HERE, IN THE LADIES’ SECTION. IS THIS RELIGION? USMAN! USMAN! BEADS!
The entire row of women is visibly annoyed that Lisa’s interrupting their prayer with a half-hearted peacemaking attempt that’s happening exclusively so she can steal this woman’s son away. Seriously, a puppy has better church manners than Lisa musters in a relatively simple call to prayer, especially since she doesn’t have to manage one of those kneeling benches and an overzealous preacher splashing holy water on everyone, or one of those flower cloaks they wore in Midsommar.
Afterwards, Usman looks even more hopeless. They barely wobble out of the mosque, and Lisa is fixing her would-be mother-in-law with an insincere smile, as always asking no questions or presenting any behavior that would suggest curiosity in another person.
“I will not say that she did well, because she is Lisa, and she wasn’t really trying,” Usman explains.
“Usman, translate. Ask her if we can have her blessing. I bought a goat, and did the mosque thing, so we should be good, right?”
Queen Mother is not having it. “She is too old for him, and too ridiculous for me. I’m not giving my blessing, because I have eyes and ears, and that is all.”
Mother Varya: Teach me.
Cruising along on a neighboring planet is Stalker David, clutching his laptop, logged in to an app he pays for, waiting for Lana to cut and paste a few phrases from her Big Book off Empty Expressions. He asks her to meet him at 2pm, and for whatever reason believes that is going to happen. He translator apps his way through a flower shop, because in seven years of trading emojis with a bot, he didn’t bother to learn basic Russian phrases.
He shows up at the restaurant and orders champagne with two glasses, one for himself and one for his phone. His app asks, “Is there somewhere I could do a truck stop shower?” Nerves made Stalker David fully sweat through his original garment, which he furiously shoves into the bathroom garbage can while screaming, “Stupid! Stupid” at his reflection in the mirror. Repping Pink Floyd with a new edgy ensemble that would meet Stephanie’s Teen Vogue approval, he returns to the table to stare at the phone.
“I’m willing it to open and release Lana from her technological prison. I’ve been tapping the screen, but it’s not enough. I don’t want to hurt her. Maybe I can shake her loose.” He rattles his phone before opening the bottle of champagne. “Maybe a little champagne will help you relax, Phone. Glug glug glug! That’s good, huh? Now let my girlfriend out. LET HER OUT!”
After a couple of hours it finally dawns on him that she’s not going to show up and his phone negotiations have failed, so the manager swoops in like a flowers gangster to snatch the roses she tucked into the tough-luck vase she keeps handy for such occasions. She tells the cameras that this happens all the time, and every single time the man in question is staring at an unreasonably attractive woman on his phone that he has no ability to talk to without electronics.
“I see older American all the time, always looking for Lana. I say why can’t you google and they cannot. They sit there, playing drop fruit game on phone, crushing candy, then leave without flowers. I send them back to my sister, who owns flower shop, and then she sells again. If you stick around, you’ll see them second time at 5pm.” I like this woman.
Finally, David busts out his GPS as a reminder that this is what he always planned to do, and plugs in the fake address Lana gave him. No matter how high this con stacks, he always seems to assume there’s a finger of true information in there. Before heading out to get arrested David calls his friend Jim, and Jim expresses exactly as much surprise as all of us are experiencing at home. After David hangs up Jim calls the producers to make sure that David doesn’t have duct tape and a tarp in his trunk, and 90DF alerts the authorities in advance. Then David drives there, heads up to lucky number 8, and knocks on the door. This is where they cut away, so we’ll have to tune in next week to see the middle-aged man/woman who will declare that Lana doesn’t live here. This is suspense, by 90DF standards.
In Australia, Avery is terrified by a spider in the car window, and since it doesn’t appear on camera let’s just assume it was the size of a cat. Avery and Ash go snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef, which is an excellent use of time for not-on-vacation Avery and hoping-to-not-talk Ash. They snorkel around holding hands, looking at the fish ducking in and out of the reef, and this is the sort of plan that Erika should have considered to make Stephanie uncomfortable, but silent. After they get out of the water and half remove wetsuits, Avery thinks it’s time to bring up the sketchiness of his coaching business, and whether he follows some kind of guidelines.
“No,” Ash explains. “There are 245 positions outlined in the Kama Sutra, if that’s what you mean. The condoms I use are ribbed for her pleasure, which is important if you want her to feel heard.”
Avery is unimpressed. “You got 68 text messages this morning, and all of them are from different women.”
Ash gets defensive because the gig is almost up, and says that he’s single right now, okay, so he doesn’t have to answer this. Avery is visibly shook by this statement, since she could have easily scored a hookup back home, and could have sworn by all those breakups that there was something in place to break. He quickly walks it back and claims to have misspoke, and points out that there are pictures of her on his instagram, which would be enough to appease Yolanda.
“He doesn’t want me to meet his ex or his kid, and has a shady business that involves women exclusively, who are apparently welcome to text him at any hour of the day. Does anyone else detect the faint scent of doom?” This will only grow stronger in the coming weeks, as she observes his imitation of Frank TJ Mackey of “respect the cock” Magnolia fame during one of his enlightened relationship seminars.
That leaves only Yolanda and Darcey. Sigh. These stories are so sad and ridiculous and boring and unbelievable, I’m just going to make some shit up.
Yolanda: I’m a giraffe.
Exhausted Daughter: Let’s do a google image search on giraffe. Do you think you look like a giraffe mom?
Yolanda: I’m a giraffe!
Daughter: What about me? Does that make me a baby giraffe?
Yolanda: What? Is that a phone?
David: Looks like a girlfriend to me!
Daughter: Giraffes. The subject is giraffes.
Yolanda: Oh. I’m a giraffe.
Daughter: For fuck’s sake mom.
Big Ed: I have a hard time with giraffes, because I have a skin condition. What is the thread count on that giraffe?
Williams: Hi Yolanda, I’m a figment of your imagination. Will you get counseling now to help you with your grief?
Yolanda: Are you playing “superstitious” on a synthesizer, or is that in my head?
Daughter: (sound of door slamming, car burning out of driveway.)
Yolanda: My daughter must have left to go get some more instagrams. Do you think the circus needs a giraffe? Because I believe in myself.
Darcey: What am I doing here in these glasses from Blade Runner? Feeling alone and like I’m not good enough. If I squeeze my face hard enough I might be able to milk out a few tears.
Stacey: It’s like I’m faking empathy. Don’t squeeze it like that, squeeze it like this. Do I have tears?
Yolanda: You should believe in Tom and other things that aren’t real.
Easter bunny: Did someone call for a magical creature? This is all an awake, and everyone else is dreaming.
Yolanda: Oh, is it parade season? And me without a hat. Guess this machete will have to do.
David: Can I borrow that? I’m disturbing!
Geoffrey: I thought we agreed that I would be the person traumatizing viewers?
Donna Summers: I feel love, I feel love, I feel love.
Darcey: Great. This reminds me of Tom. He wasn’t going to tell me about the escort in those photos.
Ash: Did someone say escort? I think I can help you, Darcey…
Yolanda: Me and this orange and this banana love dancing to this song. I rub them both in my hair and call it getting juiced.
Big Ed: I can weigh in with beauty tips, if we’re talking food, but my specialty is condiments.
Darcey: Can you inject those?
Donna Summers: It’s so good, it’s so good, it’s so good…
Yolanda: Who put these clogs on my hands? STOP YELLING!
Next week Avery is forced to endure the self-serving pseudo wisdom of an Ash hookup seminar, Erika tries to escape the only conversation Stephanie is capable of having, Ed brings up Maria’s money request because he’s hoping Rose’s family will remain dirt poor after they’re married, and Usman explains to his mother that Lisa loves him and he’s trying to have a hip-hop career. Finally, thirsty for more screen time, Tom makes the drive to Connecticut to explain that when he said she gained weight and that she makes him miserable, he really meant I love you. I think this relationship has been in a Lifetime movie before.
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