I want to see my mom nude

2020.10.29 10:29 lilspeedo234 I want to see my mom nude

Hi I’m 19 F and my ex (20 M) broke up about 1.5 months ago. He got into his dream university (that I helped him get into) and all was good for a while. We had been dating for almost a year. But when his university started he just talked a lot less to me, of course he was busy but in his free time he would hang out with his cousins. I felt like I wasn’t being prioritised, this one day he said he won’t talk to me all day all night because he was hanging out with his cousins, I got angry and said that I wish he would prioritise me too sometimes and I asked him why he couldn’t even take out an hour for me. He started acting really rude (said I wasn’t his family) and long story short he stopped replying to me and when I started calling him to apologise his sister (26 F) picked up and basically broke up with me for him and 5 minutes after that I was blocked from all social media and had no way to contact him. I texted one of his cousins that I was good with and she said to give him space. About 4-5 days later I heard he got engaged to one of his cousins. I was shattered. I remember him saying that he hates fights and that me fighting him on stuff like that will end our relationship one day. That led me to believe it’s my fault. I started spending time with my friends and this one time a few grown men started following us in their car, we were really scared so I texted my ex from my friend’s phone about all of that because I trusted him and I believed he’d help me, i was wrong, he blocked her too. I couldn’t take it anymore so I told my friends everything. Thing is, I’ve known my ex since 6 years. We dated once when we were young (14-15 years old) for like 7-8 months and he broke up back then through his mom. He also cheated on me during that relationship with my friend and blamed it on me by saying that I upset him by hanging out with a male friend. After that it was just a series of coming and going from my life, he used me for sex and nudes and stuff, for advice, for everything. He would often confess his feelings to me and then break up with me a few days later. He would go into detail about every girl he dated and also unfriend me every single time we had an argument. This is what I think was emotional abuse, please correct me if I’m wrong. I was so deeply in love with a guy who did all of this to me just because we had a few good memories together and even today I miss him sometimes and often question whether it was my fault for fighting too much. I feel like I have no future, when I imagine my life I see nothing. I want to forgive him, but I can’t. And I feel guilty for telling my friends everything because I feel like I’m ruining his reputation. Everyone says he’ll come back to apologise because that’s what’s been going on since 6 years. Reddit, I’m confused as to how to move on and what to do in case he comes back?
submitted by lilspeedo234 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 17:17 wewereneverrobots Mom my nude i see to want

Hi, sorry if this is the wrong place to be, but I’m honestly clueless and tired and I don’t know what to do. I’m 17F, and I have been struggling with some things that I’m too afraid to tell anybody else. I am not diagnosed with BPD, I pretty much ran by this sub by chance and saw some things that resonated with me, so forgive me if I’m in the wrong place.
I feel like a hypochondriac, and my mom used to say that there was “always something wrong with me,” but for some reason I feel like all of them are connected. I just want to feel and act normal. I’m already so ashamed of myself, and I haven’t even been out in “the real world yet.”
Ever since I could remember, I’ve had this same reality in my head that I could escape to whenever I was upset or felt lonely. It’s never changed, just grown, and I’m always daydreaming about it, even when I’m in the middle of conversations. I never feel like I’m “fully there,” if that makes sense? I have to focus really, really hard if I want to catch at least 75% of what the other person is saying. Up until about 7th grade, that was really the only thing that I dealt with, but as time went on, it just got worse and worse.
In the 7th grade, my loneliness got worse, which in turn made me angrier. It’s calmed down since then, but that was literally the worst anger problems I had ever had up until that point. I was actually suspended from school and couldn’t com back until I saw a therapist, but I didn’t see a therapist, and my parents withdrew me from the school. I never really got that taken care of, so now I have pretty on-and-off relationships, and I am currently in the “off” stage with my best friend of three years.
The worst thing yet is that I’m quite literally addicted to sending nudes. From about 12 to 16, I’ve been building “relationships” with random people off of the internet and exchanging nudes, which has hurt me the most socially and emotionally. Yes, I know it’s illegal because I’m underaged. Yes, I know someone probably still has my nudes, and yes, I know my nudes can get leaked at any time and moment. I’ve always known, and I don’t know why that hasn’t stopped me from doing it. I stopped for about a year when I was 15, but for whatever reason I started again. I stopped just before my 17th birthday, and I’m hoping it’ll be the last.
And now I’m just all over the place. I’m forgetful, irritable, can never stay on one task, and it’s much, much harder than I thought it would be to just stop sending nudes. I literally just have to stop getting attached to people within minutes over the internet and put the phone down. Because I’m trying to stop sending nudes, I’ve just been going in and out of the reality I’ve created in my head to kind of satisfy that addiction, but it’s not working that well.
I don’t know if this helps, but my mother has ADHD and bipolar depression, and my dad has depression, but my mom has only recently started getting treated for her bipolar depression. I just got a therapist a couple of months ago (who I have not been seeing consistently :/), but I’m too scared to tell her any of that because a)some of it is illegal, and b) she’ll likely tell my mom. I don’t know where to go from here, but I genuinely want to get better, I just don’t know how to go about it without relapsing like I always do.
submitted by wewereneverrobots to BPD [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 13:59 rbkforrestr I want to see my mom nude

Both early/mid twenties for reference.
A little less than a year ago I found out my boyfriend of 6 months had a masturbation problem. We’ve been together about a year and a half now.
It came out a year ago that he masturbated to the thought of every woman he met, usually while looking at their social media. This includes every woman we work with, my best friends, women he met once at a party, his friends and brother’s girlfriends, and even an older cousin. Yeah. It started at puberty and just became his norm.
Obviously this cut deep. I found out because he opened up his Instagram search bar to look something up and a couple girls were there. I got uncomfortable but didn’t say anything and he ended up sweating profusely and confessing. Initially he trickle truthed - worded it as “sometimes when I’m horny and masturbaring, I look at pictures of girls I find attractive.” The girls I saw the names of were his best friend and a girl he met at a party about a month prior.
We work together and know a lot of the same people because of this, and so I started asking names (to torture myself?) and not long into that, he started denying some. Randomly. Lying about little things in an effort to look better. So I thought it was just a few girls he found extra attractive. He ended up fessing up a few months later and telling me that when he was doing that, it was actually compulsive and not even just to women he found attractive, just women he knew. All of them. Every single one, basically. Said 9/10 times he didn’t even imagine sex with them. Just stared mindlessly at their pics. His words “it’s not a matter of who I’ve done it to - it would be easier to list who I haven’t done it to.”
He hasn’t done it since the second I found out, and I trust that. He said he didn’t see it was gross until he had to say it out loud and that Reddit’s culture of unzips pants to everything made him think it was normal. He says he views women entirely differently and is hyper aware of how much he over sexualized people before. Knows what a betrayal it was.
Initially I said just no social media - he deleted Instagram and didn’t use Facebook. But we quickly learned masturbation in general is a trigger and he stopped that and porn consumption entirely. He stopped being friends with basically all women in his life and will trade shifts at work to avoid being around anyone he’s done it to. He’s incredibly patient and understanding of my boundaries and hasn’t struggled.
Up until a few months ago. He heard a girl he used to know had an onlyfans and looked it up - didn’t subscribe, just confirmed it existed, clicked the link to her insta which was in her bio, browsed a bit on safari and then closed it. Then browsed some reddit nudes. Didn’t finish or even really touch himself, just looked on and off all day for the first time in probably 8 months.
He fessed up to that that night after I asked if something was up and joined a few porn addict subs. This was in July. He made a note in his phone reminding him of his priorities - me - and how much he’s hurt me, and how much he would hurt me if he fucked up and lied. Reminded him how shot my trust was and that he wanted a future with me. When I was anxious I would remind him to read that note. It was almost daily.
Was okay for a few weeks and then started having urges. He didn’t tell me about them. He says he usually didn’t even masturbate, but would browse NSFW subs a few times a day. No social media or anyone he knew. At work, at home, whenever I wasn’t around. He said sometimes he would convince himself to stop after a few seconds and feel so strong. That he never felt like an addict before and had no trouble stopping (we have very regular sex which improved even more after he stopped masturbating) until these subs he followed started getting into his head, talking about “temptation” being everywhere, and suddenly he felt like an addict and out of control. He’d never felt like that before. Never looked at work. Never felt like he couldn’t control it until he started reading all these men going on about how hard it was. He never told me any of this.
I thought he was doing well because I asked every day and he lied.
I caught him in another small lie - not a big deal, unrelated to women, but the fact that he lied given our history triggered me. I never really checked his phone but I did after that lie. Asked if he had anything else to tell me. Looked at his reddit history. He insisted I wouldn’t find anything - then I checked his “hidden history” and found pages and pages of nudes. He said “oh, fuck.” And that was that.
I almost broke up with him. He deleted reddit and installed an app to block NSFW content. This was about a month ago and he’s been fine since. He said he thought he was an addict and that he could fix this on his own - said he thought after everything we’ve been through, I’d leave him if he confessed he was struggling. I wouldn’t have. It’s the lies that are killing me, more than the “porn” - I’m hesitant to use that word because we’d actually set boundaries prior that I’m okay with porn, but not just nudes of other women. Those hurt when he has access to all of mine.
Anyway. He started therapy and I do tomorrow. I need to learn coping mechanisms. But I’m sad every day. I say mean things to him when I can’t control it and he just takes it and says he deserves it and he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. I know this man loves me and he’s never paid any kind of attention to any other women as far as interactions go, never had feelings for anyone else, never tried anything inappropriate or even flirty with anyone. My mom adores him and I told her literally everything - she still thinks he’s a good man who treats me like gold. I genuinely believe he’d never “cheat” on me and I sometimes don’t feel warranted to feel the way I feel. He is so remorseful - but honesty is so important and it’s seriously fucked with my self esteem and self worth. How could he lie to me so much and live with himself? He read a note every day telling him, in his own words, he’d lose me if he did what he did and lied about it... then he did it anyway. It feels like he made that choice, and in those moments, our future was less important than a pair of tits. I honestly don’t even know how to end this post. I guess I just needed to vent in a space where everyone is so positive and supportive, rather than men telling me to get over it, and women telling me he’s disgusting and to leave him. I don’t want to leave him. I want to heal.
Editing to add this since I’m getting some rude, judgemental and unhelpful messages: I had always been porn friendly. I never cared about his masturbation habits until it was revealed it was to everyone we knew. Understandably, my view on masturbation habits changed. The initial boundary was no social media and no nudes. He has hundreds of mine. I was okay with videos and shit. Now the whole things gives me anxiety.
submitted by rbkforrestr to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 21:39 thatevilspidergirl TIFU by showing my mom one of my nudes

This happened a few months ago and i'll never forget the look on her face.
So i met my first bf online, he's from UK and we got a thing going on for almost 3 years now. Since so much time passed and we're both two young responsible adults with urges i suggested we try sharing nudes as a relief to our needs. My mom who has the mentality of a prude person pretty much keeps on asking me about him and by that she means "How does he look?", but i know how much of a judging pretentious person she is so i don't want to but in the end i give in to her pushy nature.
I get my phone and look myself for the right pics as she's trying to peep and in the end i hold the phone and slide to the right for her to see his face. As i slide i come across a naughty picture of myself wearing sexy lengerie and showing my ass.... She stays there with a blank expression on her face with her mouth open and starts to smile awkwardly as i quickly take the phone back, feeling the blood pressure go up to my ears of embarrassment.
Then she keeps on asking "Who was that? Was that you? OMG, don't tell me, you sent that to him, don't do that omg, I can't believe it, that's wrong, he'll think you're a slut". (mind you he's my first bf and i never was with a guy before not even a one night stand).
I still don't know if she told dad about it but she basically thinks i'm a slut now cuz of that.
I mean at least it wasn't smth worst (like a sausage pic or smth).
TLDR: My judgy mom insisted i show her how my bf looks;I accidentally revealed to her one of my private pics taken for him.
submitted by thatevilspidergirl to tifu [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 16:51 ThrowRA15151516 I want to see my mom nude

*Note: I posted this already to another sub from a different throwaway account. I had to make a new one to post on this sub because of the username rule.
This is a long story. I've tried to sum it up as best as I can. But it's still long. I just want one person to read this at least. Just one. I'm leaving out some details because it would take up an entire book if I were to write everything out.
Important prefaces - my dad is a mentally and emotionally abusive narcissistic control freak who has messed me up big time over the years. I also have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and dropped out of school in 10th grade due to mental issues. I'm ALSO extremely, very against porn, not for religious reasons even, I'm an atheist. I just believe that a man should be 100% loyal to his woman, and not even look at other women in any way (and vice versa). Porn/sex work is also a very fucked up industry in general. Say what you want about that, that's not what I'm here to discuss anyways. It's not up for debate. But it's integral information.
That being said, I've had a lot of mental health issues starting from a very young age, stemming from my dad's mistreatment of me and from intense bullying at school, as well as other events that have occurred throughout my life - including being raped/sexually assaulted when I was 14.
I also started being very promiscuous way too early on. I got my first computer at 8 years old and found hardcore porn, which I got addicted to. From 8 to 14 I was addicted to porn and saw myself as an object. A young girl viewing porn is a much different perspective than that of a guys. I was way too sexual for a child. Part of the reason behind this was probably the issues I had with my father being distant and emotionally unavailable. (I'm 18 now and haven't watched porn in like 3 years or so. I hate it so much). Anyways.
When I was 15, I was very alone and very vulnerable. My brother, who is 6 years older than me, felt bad. I was friendless. So he started to bring me sometimes when he would go over to his friend's house to watch UFC fights, or whatever. We'll call this friend "Bob".
Whenever I'd go with my brother to Bob's house to hang out, there would be maybe 3-5 of his friends there collectively. It wasn't just him and Bob. His friends girlfriends would sometimes come along too, so I wasn't always the only girl in the room.
Bob and all of my brother's other friends were normal and never really gave a fuck about me. In fact most of his friends just kind of disregarded me and I would sit there and watch the TV quietly and smoke weed. (I started dabbling with weed at around 14, my brother smokes it too, so do his friends. It's always just helped me cope).
But this friend, Bob, had an older brother. We'll call him Todd. Keep in mind - when I was 15, my brother and his friends were all around 21-22 years old. Bob's brother, Todd, was 24 at the time.
Well, I happened to be there one day when Todd came down to chill with everyone for the first time. He didn't always come down, because he was a loner. He saw me and it seemed like he immediately took notice of me. He knew I was young, and knew I was the sibling of one of his brother's friends.
He started paying special attention to me. I remember him asking me what my favorite music was/what kind of music I listened to. I replied that I'd been listening to a lot of Soundgarden lately. He then played a Soundgarden music video on the computer. He would smile at me and look at me a lot.
After that, I'd keep coming to hang out, and I'd see him more and more. Eventually, I asked him for his snapchat. Yes, I was the one who did that, oddly enough. I was lonely, vulnerable, and in need of attention. This older man was giving me that attention, so I latched onto it and went out of my way to get his snapchat. He didn't protest. He added me back and started chatting with me from there.
I began sending him nudes. At 15 years old. He gladly accepted them and would tell me (actual quotes) that I'm "his little treasure", that I'm "juicy", and that he's "counting down the days until I turn 16". 16 is the age of consent here in Canada. I wish it fucking wasn't. My naive self reveled in the attention he gave me. I became very attached to this guy.
A couple months passed and eventually I started sneaking out late at night to go and hang out with Todd by myself. He worked the evening shift at a factory, and ended work at 11pm. I would sneak out at around 2-3am almost every night, walk to his house which was 5 minutes away, and hang out with him until 4 or 5 in the morning. Sometimes even 6. This obviously started messing my sleep schedule up a lot.
He let me smoke his weed and always gave me some to have. He started buying me cigarettes too, since I started mixing tobacco with weed when I'd smoke bongs (I quit tobacco since then, it's been over a year).
He never made a creepy move on me when I'd come and hang out. We would always hang out in this "smoking room" in his basement. It had a lock and everything. He could have done something but he didn't. It wasn't until a few weeks of hanging out with him like that, that I asked if he wanted to kiss me at the door when I was about to go home. He said yes and had this childish look on his face, like a kid in a candy store who was super giddy. I gave him a peck on the lips and then left. Yes, he let a 15 year old walk at night alone that late.
Note that this guy was a virgin at 24. Never even kissed a girl, I don't think. Meanwhile, I had lost my virginity at 14 with a guy my age and had more experience since then. I know, I know. I wish I hadn't done it that young.
After that kiss, we decided we were dating. It became apparent to Bob, my brother's friend, that I was hanging out with his older brother Todd. Bob was weirded out and concerned by that, so he went to my brother to let him know. My brother questioned me about it, but I managed to convince him nothing was wrong and that it was ok. I don't know how. Apparently, Todd had also contacted my brother telling him that he liked me or something to that effect, and my brother just told Todd that it's "her choice whether she dates you or not".
So we started dating. Next up was to try and convince my parents that it was ok. At first, they lightly tried telling me that it wasn't a good idea. However, I never once remember them sternly trying to explain to me the intentions of this older dude or why he wasn't what he seemed to be. They just sort of... barely tried to tell me it was not a great idea, and then gave up. Nobody talked to Todd himself, nobody went to Todd's parents. Everyone was just trying to tell a mentally unstable 15 year old that this older guy "wasn't a good idea", as if I had the capacity to listen and understand that I was being groomed and taken advantage of. Which they didn't even explicitly say.
Part of why they gave up was because me, having BPD and a plethora of attachment issues and daddy issues, would have HUGE episodes if anyone tried coming between me and Todd in the slightest. To the point where I was suicidal and saying I'd kill myself if I couldn't see him.
If my parents tried telling me not to sleep over at his house or something, I would go into a rage, into a panic, into chaos. I'd scream and cry and self harm. They came to a "deal" that I was allowed to sleep over at his house only once a week, and I took it. They eventually just accepted the relationship and didn't protest anymore. I would bring him over, I'd go over to his house, and everything was... "normal". My dad even said "you know what, I actually kinda like this guy" to my mom.
Before we started dating, I made sure to express my hatred of porn to Todd, and I expressed, crystal clear, that I expect a man to be 100% loyal and keep his eyes to me. I do the same thing when in a relationship. I'm just very monogamous. He agreed and assured me that he stopped watching porn altogether for me, and that he was only looking at the photos I'd send him. He had so many nudes of me saved on his phone. I was young and naive, so naturally I bought his lies of loyalty.
Anyways - I met his parents and he met mine. I would go to family gatherings with him and meet his relatives. He met my grandma and he was there with me when my cat who I loved very much passed away.
It became so normalized. But over time it became more and more clear how dysfunctional the relationship was.
The relationship slowly morphed into more and more fights. My BPD went from being triggered around him rarely, to being triggered constantly. I had huge episodes around him where he would just ignore me, leave the room to let me suffer and panic and break down by myself, and just overall not respond properly at all. If he did try to comfort me, the effort was shallow and he gave up very quickly. Admittedly, I sometimes became so uncontrollable in my episodes that I hit him a few times during the relationship. I'm not proud of that but he would always just take it from me and the most he'd do is say, "don't hit me" in an annoyed voice.
He never learned anything. We dated for a year and a half before we broke up. Throughout that year and a half, his responses to my breakdowns remained a constant, each time, even after having serious conversations with him about my mental state and giving him advice and tips on how he should respond accordingly when I become that way. (yes I have looked into therapy. I've gone through 8+ therapists and will try again).
He never treated me like a girlfriend but rather as a friend with benefits.
The fights would never end. I would cry and beg him to change certain habits, like sleeping in way too late, smoking way too much weed and tobacco, not showing me much affection, not washing his hair. Just lazy habits that over time began to piss me off. He would ALWAYS cry with me at the end of fights promising to change and yet he wouldn't. Each time. And my weak ass couldn't leave. I was way too attached. But I was going insane.
I realized after so long that I didn't actually love him at all, and I was only with him out of fear that nobody else would want me or deal with me. He used to be an escape from my home life, he used to have me infatuated with him and obsessed with him. But he just became another problem to face. I didn't love him anymore, I don't think I ever truly did in my naive mind. He was constantly blaming me for my episodes and telling me to get help but he would be the cause of my episodes more than half the time. The entire relationship was so fucked up. I would legitimately go insane with the breakdowns I'd have, hitting my head against brick walls, pulling at my hair, screaming, crying. I experienced those episodes time and time again in part because of his actions towards me.
For example, he knew abandonment was a huge, giant, terrible fear of mine. Earlier on in the relationship, he left to a cottage trip without telling me and stayed a week while I was at home falling apart because he seemingly dropped off the face of earth and wouldn't respond to me. He refused to talk to me and only started picking up the phone at the end of his stay. That shit fucked me up. It doesn't sound that bad typed out but it was a punch to my gut.
Anyways. In June of this year, I found the proof that took the blinders off my eyes for good. I was on his phone, (in front of him, he let me go on it) and in the vault of my nudes, I found a sexual instagram text post. I immediately became suspicious and went to find instagram on his phone. It wasn't even downloaded. So I went to his browser, typed in "instagram" and it immediately came up as an often-used suggestion. Low and behold, he had made an entire fake account that he hid from me that he used SOLELY for looking at half naked IG models and pornographic stuff.
And he did all that when he had an entire vault of my own nudes. It was an encryption app called Keepsafe that requires a pass code to get in. That's where he kept all of the nudes I'd sent him, over 300 of them.
This guy was a porn addict from day 1 and hid it from me the entire time. He "used" to watch porn in VR. Pathetic.
When I found that shit, I IMMEDIATELY got up, told him to delete all my stuff off his phone, and left home. He tried yelling after me that he still loves me and I just screamed at him, bloody murder, that his ass did not love me when he was doing that shit behind my back.
After a few days I went to his house to make sure that app with my nudes on it was uninstalled off his phone. It was still on his phone, of course, so I made him uninstall it in front of me. He did. But I was still paranoid that if he reinstalled the app, the photos would come back. So I made him reinstall it to show me.
A log in screen came up. He hastily said "see, look, it's gone, it's just a log in screen now" and then quickly put his phone away and didn't let me see it again.
I am almost certain he logged back in and still has my underage nudes on his phone.
A few weeks or days after that, he hand wrote me a letter which he managed to give to my brother when he saw him hanging out with his brother Bob.
This is the letter: https://imgur.com/a/bJANVKQ
Very creepy and poorly written.
I also found out after we broke up that he made a fake account to stalk me on instagram with after I blocked him. On that account, he was following several 16 year old girls (!!!) and some dirty porn type of profiles. He was also following ALMOST EVERY ACCOUNT THAT I WAS FOLLOWING. Including my new boyfriend. When I found out about that account, which he made under a fake name, I messaged it a lengthy paragraph informing it that I knew it was him and that I have notified the police of his predatory behavior, which isn't a lie - I did, in fact, call the police and open a case on him shortly after we broke up and I realized he was a pedo, basically.
Here is the message I wrote: https://imgur.com/a/f4Y6mlR
After I sent that message, he became unhinged and started harassing me.
He made 8+ fake accounts under fake names, one after the other. He started messaging me paragraphs about how fucked up I was, comparing me to my dad, telling me I was just like him the entire time, sending me articles about "BPD abuse", writing me huge text walls filled with poison. He would go on my reddit account and stalk that too. He also viewed my LINKED IN which I haven't used in years. He would send me quotes about "narcissists ghosting their victims", implying that I was a narcissist who was merely just ghosting him.
Here are some of the messages he sent me off his fake accounts: https://imgur.com/a/fKe7OON
After this stalking and harrassment begun, I got into contact with police again and updated them on the situation. It was a lengthy process of phone calls and submitting screenshots of evidence only to be fucking useless in the end.
All this creepy motherfucker got was a phone call from an officer telling him to stop harassing me. They told him that "if he continues then his actions could cross into the realm of criminal". What was NOT criminal about everything he did to me? From dating me in the first place, to stalking and harassing me the second he knew my rejection was finalized?
The cop just closed my case after talking to him on the phone.
I want justice. I want that shit off his phone gone. I want to KNOW that he does not have my underage lewd photos anymore.
My parents and brother, after the whole ordeal, after I realized how screwed up everything was, had an "I told you so" attitude about it toward me. My brother refuses to delete Todd off his social media because "it's very awkward and I don't want to see him again at Bob's house knowing I unadded him". I will forever hate that he's even sparing this piece of shit's feelings in any way after what I went through with him.
My new partner is amazing, honest, and kind. He is only 3 years older. He has shown me what a normal, loving relationship should look like and I haven't been aggressive to him in any way like I was with my ex. I am significantly better off mentally with my current partner.
My question is: what the fuck do I do? The police didn't give a shit, even when I told them he was PREDATORY and following 16 year old girls. They didn't search his phone after I said that I'm scared he still has my underage nudes on it. So who the hell will deal with him? Everyone in my life turned a blind eye to my fucked up "relationship" with him. I can't just let this go, I cannot let this piece of perverted shit go scott free with just a fucking phone call from police. Fuck the police.
I need advice. Please. Someone. Anyone.
submitted by ThrowRA15151516 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 16:40 15throw15away15 I want to see my mom nude

This is a long story. I've tried to sum it up as best as I can. But it's still long. I just want one person to read this at least. Just one. I'm leaving out some details because it would take up an entire book if I were to write everything out.
Important prefaces - my dad is a mentally and emotionally abusive narcissistic control freak who has messed me up big time over the years. I also have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and dropped out of school in 10th grade due to mental issues. I'm ALSO extremely, very against porn, not for religious reasons even, I'm an atheist. I just believe that a man should be 100% loyal to his woman, and not even look at other women in any way (and vice versa). Porn/sex work is also a very fucked up industry in general. Say what you want about that, that's not what I'm here to discuss anyways. It's not up for debate. But it's integral information.
That being said, I've had a lot of mental health issues starting from a very young age, stemming from my dad's mistreatment of me and from intense bullying at school, as well as other events that have occurred throughout my life - including being raped/sexually assaulted when I was 14.
I also started being very promiscuous way too early on. I got my first computer at 8 years old and found hardcore porn, which I got addicted to. From 8 to 14 I was addicted to porn and saw myself as an object. A young girl viewing porn is a much different perspective than that of a guys. I was way too sexual for a child. Part of the reason behind this was probably the issues I had with my father being distant and emotionally unavailable. (I'm 18 now and haven't watched porn in like 3 years or so. I hate it so much). Anyways.
When I was 15, I was very alone and very vulnerable. My brother, who is 6 years older than me, felt bad. I was friendless. So he started to bring me sometimes when he would go over to his friend's house to watch UFC fights, or whatever. We'll call this friend "Bob".
Whenever I'd go with my brother to Bob's house to hang out, there would be maybe 3-5 of his friends there collectively. It wasn't just him and Bob. His friends girlfriends would sometimes come along too, so I wasn't always the only girl in the room.
Bob and all of my brother's other friends were normal and never really gave a fuck about me. In fact most of his friends just kind of disregarded me and I would sit there and watch the TV quietly and smoke weed. (I started dabbling with weed at around 14, my brother smokes it too, so do his friends. It's always just helped me cope).
But this friend, Bob, had an older brother. We'll call him Todd. Keep in mind - when I was 15, my brother and his friends were all around 21-22 years old. Bob's brother, Todd, was 24 at the time.
Well, I happened to be there one day when Todd came down to chill with everyone for the first time. He didn't always come down, because he was a loner. He saw me and it seemed like he immediately took notice of me. He knew I was young, and knew I was the sibling of one of his brother's friends.
He started paying special attention to me. I remember him asking me what my favorite music was/what kind of music I listened to. I replied that I'd been listening to a lot of Soundgarden lately. He then played a Soundgarden music video on the computer. He would smile at me and look at me a lot.
After that, I'd keep coming to hang out, and I'd see him more and more. Eventually, I asked him for his snapchat. Yes, I was the one who did that, oddly enough. I was lonely, vulnerable, and in need of attention. This older man was giving me that attention, so I latched onto it and went out of my way to get his snapchat. He didn't protest. He added me back and started chatting with me from there.
I began sending him nudes. At 15 years old. He gladly accepted them and would tell me (actual quotes) that I'm "his little treasure", that I'm "juicy", and that he's "counting down the days until I turn 16". 16 is the age of consent here in Canada. I wish it fucking wasn't. My naive self reveled in the attention he gave me. I became very attached to this guy.
A couple months passed and eventually I started sneaking out late at night to go and hang out with Todd by myself. He worked the evening shift at a factory, and ended work at 11pm. I would sneak out at around 2-3am almost every night, walk to his house which was 5 minutes away, and hang out with him until 4 or 5 in the morning. Sometimes even 6. This obviously started messing my sleep schedule up a lot.
He let me smoke his weed and always gave me some to have. He started buying me cigarettes too, since I started mixing tobacco with weed when I'd smoke bongs (I quit tobacco since then, it's been over a year).
He never made a creepy move on me when I'd come and hang out. We would always hang out in this "smoking room" in his basement. It had a lock and everything. He could have done something but he didn't. It wasn't until a few weeks of hanging out with him like that, that I asked if he wanted to kiss me at the door when I was about to go home. He said yes and had this childish look on his face, like a kid in a candy store who was super giddy. I gave him a peck on the lips and then left. Yes, he let a 15 year old walk at night alone that late.
Note that this guy was a virgin at 24. Never even kissed a girl, I don't think. Meanwhile, I had lost my virginity at 14 with a guy my age and had more experience since then. I know, I know. I wish I hadn't done it that young.
After that kiss, we decided we were dating. It became apparent to Bob, my brother's friend, that I was hanging out with his older brother Todd. Bob was weirded out and concerned by that, so he went to my brother to let him know. My brother questioned me about it, but I managed to convince him nothing was wrong and that it was ok. I don't know how. Apparently, Todd had also contacted my brother telling him that he liked me or something to that effect, and my brother just told Todd that it's "her choice whether she dates you or not".
So we started dating. Next up was to try and convince my parents that it was ok. At first, they lightly tried telling me that it wasn't a good idea. However, I never once remember them sternly trying to explain to me the intentions of this older dude or why he wasn't what he seemed to be. They just sort of... barely tried to tell me it was not a great idea, and then gave up. Nobody talked to Todd himself, nobody went to Todd's parents. Everyone was just trying to tell a mentally unstable 15 year old that this older guy "wasn't a good idea", as if I had the capacity to listen and understand that I was being groomed and taken advantage of. Which they didn't even explicitly say.
Part of why they gave up was because me, having BPD and a plethora of attachment issues and daddy issues, would have HUGE episodes if anyone tried coming between me and Todd in the slightest. To the point where I was suicidal and saying I'd kill myself if I couldn't see him.
If my parents tried telling me not to sleep over at his house or something, I would go into a rage, into a panic, into chaos. I'd scream and cry and self harm. They came to a "deal" that I was allowed to sleep over at his house only once a week, and I took it. They eventually just accepted the relationship and didn't protest anymore. I would bring him over, I'd go over to his house, and everything was... "normal". My dad even said "you know what, I actually kinda like this guy" to my mom.
Before we started dating, I made sure to express my hatred of porn to Todd, and I expressed, crystal clear, that I expect a man to be 100% loyal and keep his eyes to me. I do the same thing when in a relationship. I'm just very monogamous. He agreed and assured me that he stopped watching porn altogether for me, and that he was only looking at the photos I'd send him. He had so many nudes of me saved on his phone. I was young and naive, so naturally I bought his lies of loyalty.
Anyways - I met his parents and he met mine. I would go to family gatherings with him and meet his relatives. He met my grandma and he was there with me when my cat who I loved very much passed away.
It became so normalized. But over time it became more and more clear how dysfunctional the relationship was.
The relationship slowly morphed into more and more fights. My BPD went from being triggered around him rarely, to being triggered constantly. I had huge episodes around him where he would just ignore me, leave the room to let me suffer and panic and break down by myself, and just overall not respond properly at all. If he did try to comfort me, the effort was shallow and he gave up very quickly. Admittedly, I sometimes became so uncontrollable in my episodes that I hit him a few times during the relationship. I'm not proud of that but he would always just take it from me and the most he'd do is say, "don't hit me" in an annoyed voice.
He never learned anything. We dated for a year and a half before we broke up. Throughout that year and a half, his responses to my breakdowns remained a constant, each time, even after having serious conversations with him about my mental state and giving him advice and tips on how he should respond accordingly when I become that way. (yes I have looked into therapy. I've gone through 8+ therapists and will try again).
He never treated me like a girlfriend but rather as a friend with benefits.
The fights would never end. I would cry and beg him to change certain habits, like sleeping in way too late, smoking way too much weed and tobacco, not showing me much affection, not washing his hair. Just lazy habits that over time began to piss me off. He would ALWAYS cry with me at the end of fights promising to change and yet he wouldn't. Each time. And my weak ass couldn't leave. I was way too attached. But I was going insane.
I realized after so long that I didn't actually love him at all, and I was only with him out of fear that nobody else would want me or deal with me. He used to be an escape from my home life, he used to have me infatuated with him and obsessed with him. But he just became another problem to face. I didn't love him anymore, I don't think I ever truly did in my naive mind. He was constantly blaming me for my episodes and telling me to get help but he would be the cause of my episodes more than half the time. The entire relationship was so fucked up. I would legitimately go insane with the breakdowns I'd have, hitting my head against brick walls, pulling at my hair, screaming, crying. I experienced those episodes time and time again in part because of his actions towards me.
For example, he knew abandonment was a huge, giant, terrible fear of mine. Earlier on in the relationship, he left to a cottage trip without telling me and stayed a week while I was at home falling apart because he seemingly dropped off the face of earth and wouldn't respond to me. He refused to talk to me and only started picking up the phone at the end of his stay. That shit fucked me up. It doesn't sound that bad typed out but it was a punch to my gut.
Anyways. In June of this year, I found the proof that took the blinders off my eyes for good. I was on his phone, (in front of him, he let me go on it) and in the vault of my nudes, I found a sexual instagram text post. I immediately became suspicious and went to find instagram on his phone. It wasn't even downloaded. So I went to his browser, typed in "instagram" and it immediately came up as an often-used suggestion. Low and behold, he had made an entire fake account that he hid from me that he used SOLELY for looking at half naked IG models and pornographic stuff.
And he did all that when he had an entire vault of my own nudes. It was an encryption app called Keepsafe that requires a pass code to get in. That's where he kept all of the nudes I'd sent him, over 300 of them.
This guy was a porn addict from day 1 and hid it from me the entire time. He "used" to watch porn in VR. Pathetic.
When I found that shit, I IMMEDIATELY got up, told him to delete all my stuff off his phone, and left home. He tried yelling after me that he still loves me and I just screamed at him, bloody murder, that his ass did not love me when he was doing that shit behind my back.
After a few days I went to his house to make sure that app with my nudes on it was uninstalled off his phone. It was still on his phone, of course, so I made him uninstall it in front of me. He did. But I was still paranoid that if he reinstalled the app, the photos would come back. So I made him reinstall it to show me.
A log in screen came up. He hastily said "see, look, it's gone, it's just a log in screen now" and then quickly put his phone away and didn't let me see it again.
I am almost certain he logged back in and still has my underage nudes on his phone.
A few weeks or days after that, he hand wrote me a letter which he managed to give to my brother when he saw him hanging out with his brother Bob.
This is the letter: https://imgur.com/a/bJANVKQ
Very creepy and poorly written.
I also found out after we broke up that he made a fake account to stalk me on instagram with after I blocked him. On that account, he was following several 16 year old girls (!!!) and some dirty porn type of profiles. He was also following ALMOST EVERY ACCOUNT THAT I WAS FOLLOWING. Including my new boyfriend. When I found out about that account, which he made under a fake name, I messaged it a lengthy paragraph informing it that I knew it was him and that I have notified the police of his predatory behavior, which isn't a lie - I did, in fact, call the police and open a case on him shortly after we broke up and I realized he was a pedo, basically.
Here is the message I wrote: https://imgur.com/a/f4Y6mlR
After I sent that message, he became unhinged and started harassing me.
He made 8+ fake accounts under fake names, one after the other. He started messaging me paragraphs about how fucked up I was, comparing me to my dad, telling me I was just like him the entire time, sending me articles about "BPD abuse", writing me huge text walls filled with poison. He would go on my reddit account and stalk that too. He also viewed my LINKED IN which I haven't used in years. He would send me quotes about "narcissists ghosting their victims", implying that I was a narcissist who was merely just ghosting him.
Here are some of the messages he sent me off his fake accounts: https://imgur.com/a/fKe7OON
After this stalking and harrassment begun, I got into contact with police again and updated them on the situation. It was a lengthy process of phone calls and submitting screenshots of evidence only to be fucking useless in the end.
All this creepy motherfucker got was a phone call from an officer telling him to stop harassing me. They told him that "if he continues then his actions could cross into the realm of criminal". What was NOT criminal about everything he did to me? From dating me in the first place, to stalking and harassing me the second he knew my rejection was finalized?
The cop just closed my case after talking to him on the phone.
I want justice. I want that shit off his phone gone. I want to KNOW that he does not have my underage lewd photos anymore.
My parents and brother, after the whole ordeal, after I realized how screwed up everything was, had an "I told you so" attitude about it toward me. My brother refuses to delete Todd off his social media because "it's very awkward and I don't want to see him again at Bob's house knowing I unadded him". I will forever hate that he's even sparing this piece of shit's feelings in any way after what I went through with him.
My new partner is amazing, honest, and kind. He is only 3 years older. He has shown me what a normal, loving relationship should look like and I haven't been aggressive to him in any way like I was with my ex. I am significantly better off mentally with my current partner.
My question is: what the fuck do I do? The police didn't give a shit, even when I told them he was PREDATORY and following 16 year old girls. They didn't search his phone after I said that I'm scared he still has my underage nudes on it. So who the hell will deal with him? Everyone in my life turned a blind eye to my fucked up "relationship" with him. I can't just let this go, I cannot let this piece of perverted shit go scott free with just a fucking phone call from police. Fuck the police.
I need advice. Please. Someone. Anyone.
submitted by 15throw15away15 to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 03:16 BabyBabylonshi I want to see my mom nude

So I have this friend that I’ve known for a few years. I used to have a thing for him but I always respected the friendship, spent the night whooping ass on video games, never hit on him, always nice to his gfs, mom loves me, the whole Shabang. Never made it weird or known. He’s always acted very immature and goofy when we were around groups of people but when it was just us, it was a completely different vibe.
He’s very calm, very sweet, charming, the complete opposite of a butt naked cowboy crab walking down a public road. He has done this before lmao. He has been a few states away for a while but we always keep in touch. I hate being on my phone and FaceTiming and just talking on the phone because of my anxiety, but if I care/ am interested I’ll do it and get lost for hours talking if it’s the right person.
Anytime he called I always answered, always left the party to be alone just to talk to him. Listened to his problems, his ups, his downs, any random 1 minute phone call just to talk. Here’s another thing, When he gets drunk he calls me A LOT. At first it would be a cute little back to back call to tell me he thinks I’m really pretty and hang up lol. He would send me nudes(I never sent any back), asked me how he looked, how I liked his outfits, not phishing for compliments but always ending up with me telling him how cute and attractive he is, and can have anyone he wants because he deserves the best. Anyone wants that for their friends and loved ones.
He’s constantly complaining about how all girls he talks to just want sex and not a relationship. I always said the right one will come and stop stressing it and it’ll come when it comes. We will be on FaceTime and randomly he will go on about a girl/ asks me what I think of them, or send me pictures of them or their nudes and kinda side eye me in the camera I guess to see how I’m gonna react or make a face and I never do. Complete poker face over here. I don’t really show my emotions. I like girls too and I believe we’re all beautiful and I’ll tell him that. I give that answer and he just sighs and asks again, i give the same answer and then he changes the subject.
I never talk about other guys to him EVER and when I do he asks if he knows him/them, will flood my inbox with nudes, send a bunch of messages being sweet or just tell me I’m very pretty and how much he misses me. When he came home we made out a few times, he started it, I felt like it was my first kiss again and butterfly’s were in my stomach but I didn’t make it weird. Never went past that because I passed out. Lost contact for a few months a little while afterwards and when we started talking again he ignored me on and off for a few weeks, I was a little hurt. I am a whole recluse, I only answer my phone for my mom and my manager and I answered for him every time he called me.
Always talked him through his problems, always was there for him and everything. What really got to me was he could never be bothered to at least talk to me about my depression or my problems, only his mattered, he constantly was bothered if I talked about a guy or girl I was interested in when I did it 3 times compared to his 1,264, it’s crazy. Now that we are back in contact and he calls, I don’t answer. I might send a message as a response but barely. I miss my friend, but idk how to handle the situation anymore.
He’s a really caring person, but idk if he’s being really immature and trying to make me jealous and tell him my feelings, or trying to show me he’s not interested. If he’s not interested, he sure calls me a lot and is hurt when I dont fall for his usual flirtatious gimmick and is upset because I won’t answer. I’m fine if he doesn’t like me, but holy fuck if he isn’t confusing me. I can’t let him continue with this behavior but idk how to bring it up. Does anyone have any advice?
submitted by BabyBabylonshi to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 13:17 bigdumbhick See mom i my want to nude

I just played my first gig at a Nudist Resort
I never realized that there was a difference between Nudist and Social Nudist, but I found out that there actually was a big difference
Nudist: a person who engages in the practice of going naked wherever possible.
Social Nudist: one who engages in a lifestyle of non-sexual nudity, and the cultural movement which advocates and defends that lifestyle.
people who believe that it is physically, socially, emotionally, and perhaps spiritually healthy to go about fully nude individually and in groups of mixed gender, wherever the weather permits and others are not offended
-------------------------------------------------------
I was booked to play a gig Saturday at Carolina Foothills Resort in Chesnee SC. CFR is a campground for nudists. I had been looking for venues where I could play outside and somehow or another Google led me to a review of a nudist resort somewhere.
I pondered on it for a minute an thought -

  1. I'll bet those people are pretty open minded
  2. I'll bet there aren't a lot of other musicians competing for the gig
  3. I like being naked
I sent out queries to the three resorts within 150 miles, with a link to my EPK, and promptly moved on. As a performing musician you send out LOTS of queries with little to no response. You set a price hoping that people will be willing to pay it, but this is the time of COVID and that's seldom happening now, so you have to decide what the lowest price is you are willing to accept. How far away is the gig? Have I played it before? Is it a good crowd? Are they good tippers? Can I afford to take $25, $50, or even $100 less to get my foot in the door?
I quickly got an email back from CFR inviting me to come play, they had no problem paying my full cover price. They even offered to put me up for the night. When someone offers to pay your full asking price, you jump on it. I jumped on it.
When we pulled into the campground, it just looked like a normal campground. Campers everywhere, kids playing, people on golf carts...then we passed by a naked guy washing his car. My wife looked at me with big eyes,said "That guy was naked!" and started to giggle.
We checked in at the office, and the lady who checked us in was fully dressed. We signed some paper that basically said we would behave, and were given a key to a cabin. We drove over and took our stuff in. I asked my wife if she was coming to the pool for my gig. She just laughed, gave me a kiss, and told me to go have fun. On the way out the door I stopped, looked at my wife and said screw it, and I got undressed.
"When in Rome"....
I had been naked in front of other people before. In Jr High and High School we had to shower in a big open shower room with classmates, I had been to Navy boot camp where I took a shower in similar situation with 80 guys, living on board a ship and sharing a berthing compartment with 40 or more guys, and I had been to nude beaches several times. But all of that was 20 or more yrs and almost 100lbs ago, and in all those situations there was no real social interaction. Guys don't normally even acknowledge that other naked guys even exist.
I pull around to the pool get my gear out of my car and am confronted with a 70+ year old naked man...and he wants to say hello and welcome. As I make several trips between the car more naked 70+ year old men come up introduce themselves. Is everybody here old and naked? and how come all these old men have bigger dicks than me? Is this the home of the 70+ year old big dick mafia? Were they about to make me an offer that I shouldn't refuse?
I'm not going to lie. I was not in my comfort zone. A fellow came up with a camera and told me that he was the official camp photographer and wanted to know if it was okay if he took some shots of my performance for the clubs private use. When we checked in we were given stickers to put over the camera lens of our phones so I wasn't concerned about evidence getting back to my mother. I told him the club was paying me so they could do whatever they wanted. Sorry Mom.
I was contracted to play from 3-6p. I got set up and started playing at 2:45. I'm doing my normal shit talking between songs "If I would have been thinking, I would have worn my good dick", and "I should have thought this out better. I sat a tip jar out, forgetting that none of you naked people have any way to carry cash on you" somebody yelled out "you'd be surprised" to which I replied "Please don't drop a roll of quarters in my tip bucket"
Audience response was good. I got laughter at the right places, people coming up to say hi and thank me for playing, people were dancing. I'd say the average age was mid 50s and up. There was every body shape and size you could possibly imagine. Stretch mark's, flabby bellies and titties, saggy asses, old faded tattoos and when they start dancing all that starts moving around...
But after 10-20 minutes something in your brain changes. You stop noticing all of that and you just see people enjoying themselves. At one point this young 25 year old woman with a perfect body, meaning not a blemish, not a scar, not a stretch mark, with great perfect muscle tone walked up and threw me a tip. Her nudity didn't even register, at least not in any sexual way. I noticed how nice her skin was. I was jealous of her youth, I noticed her smile and how warm and friendly she came across. Any sexuality related to nudity was simply non-existent.
at some point later I was talking to one gentleman and remarked how incredible it was to see how accepting everyone was and how comfortable everyone was in their skin. He told me "That's because we're all perfect just the way we are"
He is right.
After I was done with my gig (I played 2:45-6:15 with no breaks) I went back to the cabin where my wife was resting. I told her that there was a bonfire going on that we should visit. I put my shorts back on (I wanted the pockets for cigars, lighter, cutter, etc) and we went over to the bonfire. The young 25yo lady was there with her 35 year old, 5% body fat partner. Turns out he was a University Professor, and she was an environmental scientist. They were with another young couple with perfect 20 year old bodies. What I'd give to have that back, There was another couple there in their mid 50s, who I had met by the pool. They were both ex-Air Force with normal mid 50s bodies. The younger females had put on a little clothing because of the cooler night temperature and their lack of body fat. Being old and fat has it's advantages.
Being nude was no different that not being nude. Nobody acknowledged one or the other, except to compliment one of the younger girls on a pair of boots she was wearing. If you want to be naked, be naked. If you don't want to be naked, don't be naked. It was no different than wearing a ball cap or a watch. Another couple came and joined us. She was the lady who had checked us in. I had later seen her named by the pool and from the front she looked like a typical mid 60's woman would be expected to look. From behind I noticed that she had a cute bubble butt. Genes are weird.
I noticed that I had quit seeing people in the usual sexual ways. I might look at someone and think "nice genetics", "cute ass", or "wow, look at his/her skin" it was all clinical type observations, not sexual ones. Did I want to have sex with the 25 year old female? No, Not really. I wanted to have the youth and the body of that age. I wanted to be back in my mid 20's where women who looked like that wanted to have sex with me and I wanted to have sex with them, and it was all new and exciting, the exploration of each others bodies etc. Did I want to have sex with her that night, as a 59 year old fat man? Not in the least little bit.
She was nice to me. She had offered me a plate of food earlier, she had brought me my cigar cutter after I had left it by the pool, but I wouldn't be able to pick her out of a lineup today. They thing that left the strongest impression was her kindness
After sitting by the bonfire and discussing everything from dating camels in Iraq (Air Force vets) to discovering leeches attached to your genitalia (one of the young ladies) we decided to visit the hot tub.
The pool is heated at something like 84 degrees year round. The pool and the hot tub are open 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week. The only place you are required to be naked at CFR is in the water at the pool or hottub.
My wife is very modest and had earlier told me that she was not getting naked, no how, no way, simply ain't happening. She would cut the first motherfucker that tried to make her get naked. She had a kid at 35 which wasn't very friendly to her body (although I think shes still awful hot). We went to the hot tub and she got got naked and got in. A little later she got in the pool as well. A couple of people walked by and she tensed up, but she held her ground and walked thru her anxiety. I was proud of her.
Sunday Morning we awoke to rain. We decided to go hit the hot tub before leaving and once again she got nude. This time several people came by. The President of the CFR Board of Directors, thanked me for playing. I found out that I am the first performer they ever had who performed naked. The older lady in the office with the cute bubble butt who had checked us in came by. She is a year round resident. She has a camper she keeps there. We started asking questions about how many members, costs, fees, etc. She told us that with everything shes able to live there year round for $3-4k a year.
The entire weekend (Sat noon - Sunday noon) the people could not have possibly been any more friendly and welcoming. They would make it a point to say hello, ask if you needed anything, offer to feed you. It was the most welcoming, inviting, accepting group of people I remember ever encountering in the last decade or two.
When we left I was a bit down. I wasn't looking forward to having to return to the real world, the one that makes you wear pants.
Visiting CFR is a life changing experience. I don't know about any other resort, but when this one says it is family oriented, what they really mean is they treat each other, and the guests, like family. They are interested in you. They want to get to know you. The nudity is just an added benefit, the real draw here is the camaraderie, the sense of community. I guess the nudity helps to facilitate that but they treat the sense of community as the utmost, primary principle here.
We'll be back. In fact I could see this as an affordable retirement option.
Thanks CFR staff, members and guests. It was an honor to be allowed to share my music with such wonderful people.
submitted by bigdumbhick to nudism [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 17:09 dleftmeunabletowalk Boyfriend had screenshot of girls pfp that he masterbated to

I don't really know where to start. My exs have almost all cheated on me. I thought for years it was my fault. Slowly accepted that no its really not. I started getting attracted to people older than me because all I could see with people my age were cheaters. None of the older people I've dated have cheated on me. We had good times slowly realized we just didn't match and left on good notes. I started seeing a guy 8 years older than me. He's great. He's sweet, kind, listens to me but also calls me out on my bullshit. Out relationship went kind of fast in the beginning. From just meeting each other on tinder to being a couple in two weeks. It was like dating a woman except he was a man in every sense. I got sick 2 months into our relationship. I can't walk right, our sex life was still active but I couldn't top or do a lot of moves. This made it impossible to work or study though. I'm still trying to this day but it is hard finding work. 10 months into our relationship we made tinder account to joke around with. We made it very clear it was just for that night and I actually got banned however I don't know why even though I contacted tinder(not important, just to show that I didn't really care about being banned since we weren't going to use it again). A month later I was on his phone to read his mom message to him because his fingers sticky. After replying I went to the home page to get to camera because I love taking photos. I saw the tinder app. I opened. He was still talking to girls. I cried. He deleted his account saying sorry and I just wanted to feel attractive and it was just innocent convos. I pointed out he deleted before I could read if it even was innocent. From then on its been a little strained. I told him he's allowed to have chatting apps to meet new people because I did see he had a guy on the tinder as well. But he had to be honest and can't hide it. And he said I was allowed to read the messages then just to be sure it wasn't flirting. We didn't have sex for a month.
Now it's about 2 weeks until our 2 year anniversary and I wanted to send my mom a super cute picture of our cats so I opened the pictures app and there were tons of screenshot of badoo girls pfps and even of their Snapchats. There was even a few nudes which he said were from subreddit. At first he said the pictures must've gotten there when he transfered pictures from his old one to the one I'm lending him. Then he admitted that they were taken when I was away for 3 weeks with my parents. I feel numb. I want to cry because I live this man. But I don't know what to do. I want to know how to get through this or if this is just too many red flags. I don't want to break up with him, not even a little so if you think there's a chance and you have advice please give it. But I also need to know if I need to leave. I know from my exs before I started dating older that I'm not good at knowing when to leave when this kind of bullshit is involved. Thank you in advance.
submitted by dleftmeunabletowalk to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 08:16 InfinitySky1999 I want to see my mom nude

I did a lot of thinking on this. First, this started when I was a small kid around age 4 seeing a naked woman by accident. I then questioned, when will I lose my genitals?
It was never answered except by time unfortunately. Next, I told my mother at age 6 that I wanted to give birth after I saw my best friend’s mother give birth. I was told I can never give birth. For a while afterwards, I was quite comfortable with being myself other than the genitals I had which I secretly hoped would fall off and give me only a cavity between my legs. I had accepted being a boy. The only incident after that was two years afterwards when I wanted to wear a female costume for halloween which I was told no and the other girl outfits as well( Did not bother me much as there were others I was happy with)I was also forced to cut my hair as well at age 5 with me screaming in a chair and I was told to not act like a girl, though I did not even think of the things I was doing as girly. The strange thing about all these things here is that I wad not even trying to act as the girls. I was simply acting how I wanted and felt.
At age 12 was when I started noticing something about myself and about the girls around me. I noticed they had these bulges in their chest for some reason and when guys thought I was checking the girls out, I was not internally slobbering over their chests, I was burning with a huge amount of rage internally as I secretly wanted breasts. It make me so angry I looked up how to grow boobs for boys and when I found out soy milk was effective, I started drinking soy milk every day I went out to eat school lunch. I actually got really lucky and got gynecomastia before the incident thanks to my friend for noticing my nipples and did not even realize I was already growing breasts of my own and that was what she was telling me. There was no luck with the soy milk unfortunately though I at least got my nipples a little bigger afterwards with a pellet under them. At this time, there was also this super creepy girl who would grab my crouch and it would internally enrage me.
I for no reason and no exposure developed the urge to get a bigger butt and to widen my hips. Not even furious jealousy like the breasts, just a body shape I strongly desired and with the little power I had at age 13, I found out you can widen hips and get your butt bigger with exercises. Afterwards, I literally became one of the fastest sprinters in my entire high school and one in the whole district as I did countless butt exercises and hip workouts to get the results. Results were somewhat satisfactory with the butt which I was happy with, but found incomplete. Though, it caused my butt to get so much attention even guys complemented it and I did not look anything like a woman. After all of this and undesired results, I realized that the most common things I want are what the girls and women around me had which were breasts, hips, curvy butt, thicker thighs, hairless legs( I also started shaving my legs about a years ago with this), long hair, fatty soft skin, a private area with no testicles(penis does not bother me for some reason. Just wish I could fit it into panties and even regular pants), and the ability to give birth( This probably as I feel I have motherly feelings rather than fatherly feelings. I cannot stand the idea that the only way I can have kids is by someone else producing them for me).
Now then, at the age I was at, I had moderate acne which bother me ver little as I kind of though they were cool and I was right as I learned to make cool patterns with them in high school and community college later on. But, what bothered me was not only learning that my genitals will never come off, but that they are what is required for me to have genetic children and that they will actually get BIGGER which they did by a lot. I also ended with a masculine hairline, narrower hips despite the workouts, and loads and loads of hair. So much hair I cannot even emphasized. The only places I have not grown hair at is on my eyelids, my ears, my neck, and the palms and soles of my hands and feet respectively. I looked like a man by age 16, though I was not tall and I currently stand at average male height. By the end of high school seeing all the girls with their dresses and the girls hitting on me, I was angry internally at my circumstances and burned with jealousy. People asking me if I want to see a girl nude while in my head, I am screaming no, I want to be that nude girl and want guys chasing me, not straight girls.
At age 18, I started to subside my feelings by taking advantage of the characteristics of what I like about being a guy like the broader shoulders and the hair on the chest(The only two things I like about being male). Over time though, it just would not be enough to fill my internal hole. So, I started buying bras and bought a blue dress. The bras made me feel much better as it not only gave me clothing I prefer, if also made me feel like I had breast there. I now regularly wear a push up bra everywhere I go after that and to this day. The blue dress, I only wear in my private space as people around me are not very accepting of stepping out of gender norms. The dress I like so much better than all of my male cloths. As for panties, I like them so much despite none fitting my penis that my mom caught panties in my laundry and took them out. Luckily, I came up with a reasonable lie and talk about how her shirt was also in my closet, so likely a mix ip and she never suspected anything after that.
So now, I have just turned 21 about a month ago and I have extreme anger when I do not wear my push up bra and always wear the blue dress every time I am in my room. I see my sister now growing breasts very fast and get jealous. Looking at all of these characteristics, I now realize I am not simply a transvestite, but actually a mtf and by mental and societal definitions, I am actually female(sex wise still male un fortunately due to my parts)I look at hrt and all the consequences and find none of them bother me other than the sperm which you can just compensate by sperm banking. In fact negatives like penis shrinking is positive to me. I have a 8 inch penis that should actually belong to an ftm(I really wish I could swap with you guys) and it not working is positive to me. I also prefer playing the female end when I think about sex. I am attracted to women body wise, but I would prefer to have sex with a penis at the same time. All the effects of increasing breast size, skin softening, reduced muscles, less hair growth, fat redistribution to butt, hips and thighs, and losing male part function is literally everything I want with the only thing missing is the ability to give birth(Which is partially made up for with sperm banking as I do not have to have sex with a woman with penetration from me)So, I confirm myself on my set of definitions and partially biologically as female as of now.
Also, I will do hrt regardless of thoughts on here, but do you think I count as mtf or female?
submitted by InfinitySky1999 to MtF [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 17:39 Zealousideal_You6688 I want to see my mom nude

I had received unsolicited nudes from an underage girl who was going through a lot. I felt bad for her so I e-dated her. I brought it up with my therapist cause I felt terrible. I wanted to break up but I was afraid I'd be incriminated because well yeah its illegal. Luckily we broke up but still the fact that I got nudes from a desperate girl and decided to date her because I felt bad just makes me hate myself every day. I know I will get hate from this and I know I deserve it. How dare somebody take advantage of sombody like this. Years later i had a similar situation but I told the girls mom instead. I just wish I would have told the first girls mom instead of going along with her. I see this vids about predators online and it breaks my heart and I look at myself and say "your no better. You are just as vile as them, only difference is you weren't called out on it"
How can I live with myself and atone for this
submitted by Zealousideal_You6688 to helpme [link] [comments]