Hidden naked men

2020.11.26 20:18 MlleMcCreepsta Naked men hidden

As I write this today, it is in the hope that my experience will help someone. I must admit that my story is unusual, and I know most of you won’t believe it. But at least, I will be able to look at myself in the mirror, knowing I did everything in my power to save innocent people. To make sense, I guess I should start from the beginning, the moment I first met Emiko.
The first time I met her was outside my front door. A few days before, I had posted an ad on Craigslist to find a roommate. I didn’t enjoy sharing my living space, but I’m a student, and my family can’t afford to help pay for my tuition or rent. So, I had to be creative to make and save money. My boyfriend had just broken up with me and I needed someone to pay his half of the rent. My apartment was situated in Paris, had 2 bedrooms, and was close to transportation and several shops.
Not long after posting the ad, my inbox was almost full of all the emails I received. To be honest, I was not intending to open them all. I did not want to spend hours or even days going through each message.
So, to start with, I opted for a first-come, first-serve approach, which was not effective. I don't know if people were lazy or because the offer was so interesting, but all the emails I had opened were the same.
Hey. I just saw your ad on Craigslist, and I am interested. Looking forward to hearing from you!
I quickly got bored reading almost the same thing over and over. So, I went to the kitchen to grab some snacks and coffee to help me get through this boring task. When I sat back in front of my laptop, I noticed that an email had just arrived, and the address directly caught my attention.
« Emiko.Shibata@asahinet.jp ».
It was not an address I had seen before but the name of the person let me know that the sender was a Japanese woman. It made me even more eager to open the email.
You see, since my childhood, I was obsessed with everything that had to do with Japan. Japanese history, culture, and gastronomy were always a passion of mine. So much so that I was slowly learning the language, intending to travel to Japan in the future and finally visit the country that I loved dearly without even setting foot in it.
I quickly clicked on the email, hoping to not be disappointed by its contents. I was not. The email in front of me was long, but well-written, and reading it, I learned a lot about Emiko. She was 24, just a little bit older than me. She came to Paris so she could go to Art school in the country that, for her, represented Art the best. That made me smile to know she was as interested in my country as I was in hers. And to top it all, she had added some pictures of her, that she took during several trips in different regions of Japan.
I was astonished by her beauty. She was tall. Her eyes and smile were beautiful, and she seemed genuinely nice. But what caught my attention was her hair. It was breathtaking. It was dark, thick, and fell down to her upper thighs. In one picture, she was in the middle of a forest. The rust color of the trees and the leaves flying around her left no doubt about the season. And her hair flowed in a way that seemed to have a mind of its own.
When I was done reading her email and looking at the pictures, over and over, I just wanted to know more about her and, who knew, become good friends who share common interests. I replied with a time and date for her to come and visit my apartment and to my great pleasure, she agreed to it.
The day finally arrived and when I opened my door, I was surprised to see that she was even more beautiful than in the pictures and she seemed even nicer.
I greeted her with a big smile, and we started to chat as if we had known each other for years. She spoke French almost fluently and her accent only added to her charm. After that, I gave her a tour of the apartment. She loved it and that's how Emiko and I became roommates.
It’s been a year since then, and, just as I suspected, our friendship only grew during that time. Emiko was easy going and a delight to live with. She did her share of the chores; she was discrete and the cherry on the cake was that she didn't mind spending hours talking about Japan and the little village she came from, in the region of Nagano.
But what I enjoyed the most were all the delicious meals she cooked for us every day. She loved to cook but strangely she ate like a bird. I often teased her about it saying that her appetite was as small as her mouth. And having a great sense of humor, she always laughed, before saying that by my logic, my big mouth was with no doubt the reason I ate that much.
I guess that by now, you are wondering what I’ve just told you has to do with the warning I said I was going to give you. Well, once you hear the rest, everything will fall into place.
Because as great as Emiko was, there was always something that felt weird to me. She was incapable of keeping a relationship. Every few weeks, she brought home a new guy. And what was even weirder was that she seemed happy with them and they seemed completely mesmerized by her. I could not understand why she broke up with each guy so quickly and so suddenly. At first, every time she broke up, I would ask her why. She always gave me the same answer, that things simply did not work out. Each time, she seemed so uncomfortable that I just stopped asking.
A while afterward, I discovered exactly why none of her relationships lasted.
Everything happened during summer break. As usual, I decided to go back to my hometown and spent the holidays with my family. I talked to Emiko about my plan, and she seemed sad to see me go. But she quickly smiled a joked about how it would allow her to paint half-naked in the living while listening to loud classical music.
I left and had a wonderful time with my family, but during my stay, I felt guilty leaving Emiko all by herself, as I knew I was her only friend. So, I decided to surprise her and go back to our place on the afternoon of December 31st. Just in time for New Year's Eve.
When I arrived home, I called her name but, she wasn’t there. I assumed she’d gone shopping and would spend the evening went out to buy some groceries to cook one of her lovely meals. As I entered the living room, I saw that Emiko kept her word. Her paintings were drying, and they were all paintings of her exes. At first, I found that strange, but we all have different ways of getting over our exes, right?
After contemplating her beautiful work, I went to my room to unpack while waiting for her to come back. And as I was finishing, I heard the elevator stopping at our floor.
Without thinking twice, I ran to Emiko's bedroom and hid under her bed, so I could scare her and make the surprise even more memorable. I heard her enter the apartment and close the door behind her. I knew she always took off her shoes first before going to her room to put her jacket inside her wardrobe. And it would be the perfect moment for me to suddenly jump out from my hiding place.
As I was getting ready to jump out, I saw Emiko, in the reflection of the standing mirror next to her bed, enter the room with a guy, kissing him passionately. It was Eric, the guy Emiko was dating before I left. I completely froze when I saw them. I did not know what to do! If I just popped from under the bed, they’d think I was crazy. But if I waited and got caught, after they started to do God knows what… they’d think I was a freak.
As a million scenarios went through my head, I kept looking from time to time in the mirror, trying to find a way to get out of there without being seen. But unfortunately, there was none.
I had to be brave and take responsibility for my childish attempt to scare Emiko. Even if it meant I would look like a complete fool in front of her and her boyfriend. As I was gathering the courage to move, I checked the mirror one last time but something strange caught my attention. Emiko and Eric were still kissing, Eric had his hands on her hips and Emiko had hers around his neck, with her back to the mirror. But strangely, her hair was moving, as if someone was combing through it. I could not wrap my mind around it - was it possible? They were both already busy holding each other. I kept looking at the mirror, squinting, and I nearly yelled when I understood what was going on with her hair.
It was moving on its own and as it parted on either side, over her shoulders, it unveiled a mouth on her scalp. A huge mouth filled with sharp, crooked teeth and a thin, pointed tongue.
Petrified by what I was witnessing, I did not move when her hair wrapped itself around Eric's neck and his wrists before tightening around it. The poor guy did not even have time to do anything, not even scream as Emiko's hair strangled him. He faced the mirror, and I saw his scared, confused face before the last glimmer of life completely disappeared from his eyes. I clamped my hand over my mouth to keep my cries inside, to avoid being seen. But what I saw next was so chilling, I doubt that I would have been able to make any sound.
Emiko's hair just lifted Eric's body in the hair and her second mouth opened so wide, it looked like someone had struck her on the back of her head with a hatchet, splitting it in two. Her hair started to put Eric's head inside the mouth, as it chewed away with a disgusting, wet sound. It fed him in, bit by bit until Eric's corpse disappeared completely. After that, the mouth simply closed and Emiko's hair fell back into place, leaving no trace of the horror it hid.
I stayed motionless, shocked, but also petrified that I could meet the same end if I was discovered. As my body was shook still, Emiko turned around, tears running down her cheeks, before she left the room and closed the door behind her.
Still hidden, I stayed under the bed, praying she wouldn’t go to my room and discover that I came back early from my trip. Minutes felt like hours, and my heart thudding, as my mind replayed Eric's death time and again.
I heard the front door open and close. Emiko was not in the apartment anymore. I left her bedroom as quickly as I could and went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face.
I knew she could come back any minute, and I’d have to act as if nothing happened. After I could breathe normally again, I went to the living room and waited for her to come back. What I really wanted though was to get out of there and never come back.
When she came back, she seemed genuinely happy to see me, but she asked me several times how long I’d been home. Of course, I lied. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to see the New Year in with her, before telling her I was tired and was going to my room.
I spend the entire night searching the internet, looking for someone with the same experience as mine. After all the research, I think I know what Emiko is. I think she is a Futakuchi-Onna, according to one of the websites I visited.
A Futakuchi-Onna is a beautiful woman who has a tiny mouth and an appetite just as small. But at the back of her head, she has a huge second mouth hidden under her hair. Although she appears to eat little to no food, the mouth on the back of her head is always hungry. It is said that the second mouth also has a mind of its own and whispers horrible things to the woman. It threatens her, harasses her, and demands food frequently. It can screech and cause the poor woman afflicted with this curse an unbearable amount of pain until it is fed. The mouth can also control her hair, and make it wrap around the food before shoveling it inside its mouth. The mouth helps itself to its desired meal and it eats an astronomical amount of food.
After reading that, I remembered that Emiko was crying after her second mouth ate Eric. Everything was clear. Emiko had to find food for the monstrosity she had at the back of her head if she did not want to be persecuted and tortured by it. Now I understood, I felt pity, not fear, for Emiko. I knew why she was always so kind and joyful. She was trying to compensate for the horrible things she had to do for the monster that was using her body. And I could not decently abandon her to her misery. I was her only friend and I loved her.
If she really wanted to hurt me, she would have done it by now. And, she seemed to attack only men, even if I cannot be completely sure about that.
Anyway, as I said, it is not me I am worried about, but you.
Because Emiko is planning a trip to visit several countries around the world during the summer vacation. So be careful. If you see a young, beautiful Japanese woman with luscious long hair and a small appetite, do not engage with her. Because as nice and thoughtful as she is, you won’t know before it’s too late that she is a Futakuchi-Onna.
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2020.11.26 19:58 pandaDesu Hidden naked men

With the recent league champions that have come out this year – Sett, Lillia, Yone, Samira, Seraphine, and now Rell – there's been a clear priority towards making more "anime-like" characters that will appeal to weebs and the Chinese playerbase. The character designs are either bland, anime-like, pandering to China, or just blatant Disney-esque "waifu-bait" sex appeal made to sell skins.
This all came to a head with Rell's recent reveal. A tank character who ultimately is a conventionally-attractive girl wearing some but not a lot of armor who feels less like the oldschool League champ design and more like a vessel to sell skins down the line. It could've been a yordle. It could've been an old person. It could've been a monster or an animal or a void creature. Instead, we got anime Disney girl waifu #38.
I realize this is a pretty strong claim to make, and I decided to outline all the recent champions in reverse-chronological order since League has started to shift towards becoming more and more of an anime game that prioritizes bland waifu character designs over fresh, original concepts. Of course this is all fairly subjective, but I think it's important to trace back just when League of Legends started to slowly morph into this "new" League of Anime Waifus:
Champ Notes
Seraphine She's basically an isekai character, a "real world" character who one-day magically found herself in a fantasy land (Runeterra) considering that she's a pop-star which makes no sense with this game's lore. Plus, she has ridiculously-pink hair, which is pretty anime.
Samira She's literally Devil May Cry.
Yone A samurai that came back from the dead and wields two katanas. Where were you while he was studying the blade?
Lillia A monster champ that isn't gross or old or monster-enough so she's clearly just Disney waifu-bait. Plus her hair is colored, which must be anime.
Sett Sono chi no sadame
Aphelios Look at his hair and tell me that's not anime. Sad e-boy edgy mute twink who happens to be a master in five different styles of gun, with the spirit of his dead twin sister follows him wherever he goes? Is this the plot of the new anime FOTM?
Senna The light and the darkness... I Can Be Your Angle... Or Yuor Devil
Qiyana Radiates strong mobile game energy.
Yuumi Talking cat, next.
Sylas Shirtless, ripped, and chained all over, Riot explain this blatant husbando-bait.
Neeko Even if she's canonically lesbian, weebs will still find a way to make her their waifu. And another woman champion with colorful hair, automatic grounds for being anime.
Pyke Rejected One Piece filler episode villain whose only personality trait is angrily stabbing lists and the people on said lists.
Kai'Sa Reference to Samus and Samus is a Nintendo character and Nintendo is Japanese and what's also Japanese? That's right, anime.
Zoe Bro, she's actually ten-thousa-
Ornn A dwarf fursona with the proportions of a poro, he's way too cute and cuddly and clearly based off the gruff blacksmith with a heart of gold in all those animes. Real dwarves suddenly disappear around 1E 700 when the protagonist of the last game sets off the Numidium destroying yet uniting all of history (or maybe just writing lore is hard).
Kayn Inside you are two wolves. One is gay. The other is gay. You are gay.
Xayah She wears short skirts, I wear feathers, she's cheer captain and I'm in detention. The Mary Sue who's not like the other girls because they like 1D and take selfies and she has a nose ring and parts her hair so as to cover her eye and give her irreversible eyesight complications in the future. Likely wrote something similar to My Immortal back in her DeviantArt days.
Rakan Rakan and Xayah are sometimes depicted together with combined wings. The one-winged Jian bird in Chinese mythology has a similar codependency, which represents the bond of two lovers. Clearly this is China-bait.
Camille A subtle little reference to an obscure Japanese hand-drawn cartoon series, Shingeki no Kyojin.
Ivern A bush made out of pixels on your computer screen. You know what else is a bush made out of pixels on your computer screen? This is actually an intervention, your crippling addiction to Japanese porn has concerned us all. Please, you haven't left the house in the last two months.
Kled Funny comic genocidal fluffball character, these are a dime a dozen in anime.
Taliyah She's literally an Avatar reference, Riot got super-lazy with their Earthbending rip-off champ.
Aurelion Sol He's literally a dragon. China loves dragons, remember? He panders to China.
Jhin I mean skinny masked bishounen killer who melodramatically boasts about his wArPeD life philosophy? Literally every popular anime rival villain.
Illaoi A thicc amazonian woman summoning tentacles to do her bidding, y'all know where this is going.
Kindred The classic yin-yang dualistic spiritual being that anime loves, plus furry-bait.
Tahm Kench He feeds his insatiable appetite through the misery of others, and soon he will discover a bottomless supply of misery when he finds you and tells you every day that your waifu is not real and never will be and even if she was she'd find you repulsive just like all the other women in your life. But at least you have figurines!
Ekko He's a 15 year old boy that can go back in time and fights for his friends, that's some basic shounen shit.
Bard Based off of Mongolian throat-singing, but that doesn't matter because to reddit anything Asian is automatically anime!
Rek'Sai She burrows because she's actually got her stash of manga buried underneath Summoner's Rift and that's what she's reading when spends her time below surface and she knocks up people when she surfaces because she's annoyed they interrupted her reading time and now she's gotta go back a page to remember what just happened.
Kalista She's like a gender-bent Kratos from God of War and God of War is a PS4 game and Playstation is a Japanese company and anime is Japanese, checkmate.
Azir Serious fans of Isao Takahata (known for Grave of the Fireflies) may have seen his earlier work The Great Adventure of Horus, Prince of the Sun, which Azir is pretty much confirmed by Riot himself to be based off of.
Gnar Hehe, funny dumb animal side-character meant to boost young audience viewership and sell plushies go bonk!
Braum He lives in a frozen wasteland, yet wears no shirt. He's a tank-y champion yet wears no armor. Where is the lore consistency??? (Plus he's literally modeled after those brawny Bronson-esque bald mustached fisticuff characters you see in every anime.)
Vel'Koz Purple tentacled eye monster who "studies" human lifeforms; see Illaoi.
Yasuo I think this one might actually be the one non-anime champ in the game? Talanted, brilliant, incredible, amazing, showstopper, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it-
Jinx Crazy manic pixie wide-eyed murder-happy harliquinn-styled flat-chest waifu who straddles the age of consent. Basic anime shit.
Lucian The one token black character in every anime.
Aatrox He's Muramasa the champion. Or a JoJo reference if you're boring.
Lissandra You may think she's born from Norse mythology, but this icy-bitch is actually a metaphor for how weebs see women.
Zac Slime monsters are a classic anime trope, a clear reference to Dragon Quest. Alternatively he's a genderbent slime girl, you sick freak.
Quinn A Berserk reference made into a tsundere waifu, careful she won't send Valor to gouge your eyes out (it's not like that's what she wanted, b-baka)
Thresh He traps your soul in his lantern, much like how anime traps your soul so you can never go to heaven.
Vi Fist of the Northern One Punch (wo)Man. Plus she's got colored hair which literally doesn't exist outside of anime.
Nami Why does this fish have tits? Stupid waifu-bait.
Zed An obscure reference to Fortnite streamer Richard Tyler Blevins, better known by his online alias "Ninja".
Elise Okay a fish is one thing, but this champion is a fucking spider, why do they keep adding milkers to animals with no milk? More excessive waifu-bait.
Kha'Zix Clearly a reference to the cancelled Alien vs Predator anime Netflix original. I mean he's literally Alien!
Syndra That armor is not practical hunty, Riot you really expect us to believe her outfit is functional? Functional for being a CBT waifu maybe.
Rengar Cancelled Alien vs Predator anime Netflix original reference #2. I mean he's literally Predator!
Diana Yin. noun. (in Chinese philosophy) the passive female principle of the universe, characterized as female and sustaining and associated with earth, dark, cold, and the moon. What's with this overt China pandering?
Zyra Alright they even found ways to put ta-ta's on plants now, the most obvious example of waifu-baiting so far.
Jayce The bland, generic, stereotypical American character in anime shows who get abandoned two episodes in. Completely forgettable, do Jayce mains even exist?
Draven ACTIVE: Jax enters Evasion, a defensive stance, for 2 seconds, causing all non-turret basic attacks against him to be dodged. Jax also takes 25% reduced damage from all champion area of effect abilities. Counter Strike can be recast after 1 second. At the end of the duration, Jax stuns all nearby enemies for 1 second and deals physical damage to them, increased by 20% for each attack dodged, up to a 100% increase. Minimum Physical Damage: 55 / 80 / 105 / 130 / 155 (+ 50% bonus AD) Maximum Physical Damage: 110 / 160 / 210 / 260 / 310 (+ 100% bonus AD) Recast: Jax ends Counter Strike early.
Darius Look at his old splash art and tell me that isn't a 5head Tetsuo reference.
Varus There's literally three guys inside of him at all times. Disgusting. Where can I find more?
Hecarim https://i.imgur.com/NakJUje.jpg
Lulu https://www.reddit.com/lulumains/comments/81vzmz/how_old_is_lulu/
Fiora Originally French, but as shown in the superserver Chinese Fioras are just built different, so now she's canonically Chinese. And why does she have colorful hair, just another generic anime Disney girl I guess :/
Nautilus His E, Titan's Wrath, grants him a shield for up to six seconds, and while the shield holds his basic attacks bonus magic damage to his target and all enemies around them. This is all to say that you should be careful about when to Attack on Titan.
Ziggs Crazy furball character is a staple trope of anime, more at 11.
Sejuani One of the champs whose "waifu bikini armor" was so egregious they actually redid her splash because of how ridiculous it was. Not sure why they didn't do the same with Ashe to be honest.
Viktor Converting one's body into being Full of Metal? Hmmmm.
Ahri I like her for her... playstyle. Yeah...
Volibear Bara tiddies. I'm sorry.
Fizz He's kinda like Stitch from Lilo & Stitch, my favorite Disney anime.
Shyvana Ridiculous. Dragons should not have such child-bearing hips as they lay eggs instead of live-birthing.
Graves Okay hear me out, they took away his cigar and nobody except reddit really cared and I guess the Rioters who had to frequent the reddit community for their jobs got tired of all the complaints this one tiny segment of their playerbase made so they asked their friends in the art and animation department to re-add the cigar layer in the .psd and to reddit this is basically like an anime redemption arc.
Xerath Leaked Genshin Impact Femboy Xerath? Leaked Genshin Impact Femboy Xerath.
Riven Waifu Marth.
Talon Even if it's not Japanese, Assassin's Creed is like one of the most anime video-games ever, you're basically a westaboo ninja.
Skarner He was supposed to be a crystal in FFXV but Tetsuya Nomura forgot to tell Hajime Tabata about it and that's why the game feels unfinished.
Wukong Actual China-bait.
Leona We were promised a tank champion, but all we got was just another skinny girl waifu-bait. She should have more armor on, why does she just wear a skin-tight bodysuit on her torso? And why is she not wearing a helmet? Waitaminute, this sounds familiar...
Yorick One of his moves has him throwing a putrid ball of cum at you, which is pretty accurate weeb representation.
Orianna Hello Alita the battle angel from Alita: Battle Angel.
Vayne If Van Helsing was a sexy librarian who gave ruined handjobs.
Rumble Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann but smol
Brand Charizard's skin-sona.
Lee Sin Bruce Lee.
Nocturne The very concept of nightmares and fears materialized into a singular entity? Typical mid-late boss battle in like half of all JRPGs that exist, probably has like 4+ phases. Seen it.
Jarvan IV Righteous yet generic warrior king leader in all those mediocre fantasy animes. Bored Art Online, next.
Maokai He literally spreads his seed in-game. Riot, dial it back.
Karma Karma's name is a niche little reference to the Asian concept of karma, which originates from the large continent of Asia. Must be China-bait.
Renekton An obscure reference to Alligator from Hunter x Hunter in episode 78 of the Chimera Ant arc. Really cool how Riot plants all these hidden yet intentional anime references throughout their roster.
Caitlyn Her splash art is the type of pin-up poster they used to convince your great-grandpa to die for his country. Boomer waifu.
Cassiopeia Riot literally making it an in-game mechanic to not look at her eyes. Well where else am I supposed to look at? Her tits??
Trundle Wow, how cool of Riot to make a literal weeb as a champion!
Irelia Her armor is a result of her scheduling her yoga appointment too close to the Battle of Placidium. Seriously, is it made of spandex or something?
Leblanc When you can't decide whether you're going to the club or to the circus.
Lux Someone at Riot clearly had a bimbo-clown fetish looking back at Lux's original splash.
Swain Swain is the ruler of Noxus and can be seen as a dictator of sorts. His Northern Front skin tips us off to the fact that he's vaguely Russian-inspired. Now, what would be the anime that links us from League of Legends to Russian militaristic dictators? That's right, it's Girls und Panzer! Promoting militarist sentiments behind the guise of cute girl characters is a tactic Swain would surely smile upon!
Sona She's literally Hatsune Miku.
Miss Fortune Bro it's Miss Fortune idk what to tell you
Urgot The ugly fat bastard hentai artists always draw for some goddamn reason. He's gonna dick down your favorite waifu and there's nothing you can do about it.
Galio Macro x Dragon porn. Intersectionality is beautiful.
Vladimir Sexy vampires is a tale as old as time.
Xin Zhao Someone help this guy return back to the Three Kingdoms period. (possible other actual China-bait? idk)
Kog'Maw Reverse Kirby. More unoriginal Japanese rip-offs.
Olaf Please, stop with the Disney princess movie references.
Malzahar All he does is push the wave every 30 seconds and then sit at his tower much like how all weebs do is sit in their room and occasionally leave for tendies. Both are cancer.
Akali The sports-bra assassin.
Garen If you spam his joke it looks like he's twerking. Unnecessarily sexy for my Christian eyes.
Kennen Hamtaro + Naruto. Yawn.
Shen Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat. Less spine-ripping though.
Ezreal The OG League anime twink. League's been queer-baiting for over a decade.
Mordekaiser He literally banishes you to the Shadow Realm, I smell a copyright infringement from Viz Media.
Gragas Another needlessly shirtless League of Legends sex icon; his barrels bring all the boys to the yard.
Pantheon So I guess even though they modeled a unique and distinctive head for Pantheon, Riot decided "nah that'll distracted from his chiseled spartan abs too much" and hid it behind a metal bucket? What over-commitment to blatant sex appeal.
Poppy Please do not draw any lewds of her she's pure and innocent and smol oh god stop
Nidalee Both a cougar and a cougar -pounces on you x3-
Udyr The bear for people looking for a bear that's a little less 'bear' than Volibear. Canonically a furry.
Heimerdinger Sapiosexuals rejoice.
Shaco Demon jester, it's never been done before I swear.
Nasus Did you know the ancient Egyptians were horny as hell and their culture was obsessed with dicks and semen? Their creator god Atum literally jerked off and the jizz became the world. Pharaohs would then ritualistically jack off into the Nile for the river was seen as the cum of the Gods. Some drawings show them being escorted by giant cock beasts, and in this essay I will show that Nasus-
Corki Like Seraphine, another example of the isekai trope at work. Dude got ripped straight out of Pearl Harbor.
Katarina In Katarina's line of work, nothing provides more camouflage in the cover of night than bare midriff. This is because all her targets are gay.
Blitzcrank The first hooker.
Dr. Mundo He's a gym-rat that's as dumb as a rock, big himbo energy. God why are dumbasses so fucking hot
Janna Someone at Riot took one of those "We Are Fucking Under Attack" mobile game elf ladies and made her a champ, and this is how we got Janna.
Malphite His nips are always hard. Why is this?
Gangplank Riot wants us to forget when Gangplank originally had chest hair so thick it gained sentience and separated itself from his fucking body. I actually... don't know... was this supposed to be sexy or...?
Taric Candidate for biggest chest-to-head ratio size in the game.
Kassadin -teleports behind you- Nothing personell kid.
Veigar Blatant Final Fantasy black mage ripoff!
Anivia The missing K/DA member.
Rammus Crackhead Sonic the Hedgehog.
Amumu A sad Egyptian child who has no friends. You know who else is a sad Egyptian child who has no friends? Mokuba Kaiba.
Cho'Gath What do you think of when you think of Cho'Gath? That's right, Gentleman Cho'Gath. And what is Gentleman? That's right, a song by Korean musician Psy who did Gangnam Style. This is a hint that Riot will be giving us K/DA Cho'Gath in the next skinline, along with Badnivia.
Karthus Depictions of skeletons are banned in China, so Riot literally had to re-do all of Karthus's splash arts so as to be acceptable there. This is clear pandering to the Chinese market, and therefore unacceptable.
Evelynn There may be some sex appeal going on here.
Tryndamere Another flagrant example of husbando-baiting, why is he half-naked in the middle of a blizzard? Are the men in Freljord immune to frostbite or is Riot just making more boring sexy humanoid male champs?
Twitch Gay.
Singed Taken straight from the League wiki: "Singed's bald figure, red and green color motifs, and his large boots make him resemble Sigma from the Mega Man/Rockman X series." You just know a weeb made this champ.
Zilean Actually probably ten-thousand years old or something.
Alistar Literal beefcake, Riot keeps making such ridiculously sexy champions just to sell more skins.
Annie Sweet, adorable, little girl actually destructive demon child who uses her anthropomorphic toys as weaponized allies. Prime filler-episode template.
Ashe Somehow her clothing makes even less sense than Braum or Tryndamere. Why isn't she covering her armpits? Why is she wearing a mini-skirt and thigh-highs? Why are you wearing a v-neck in the middle of winter??
Fiddlesticks A skinny queen who once again sets impossible body standards.
Jax Classic anime trope of fighter who's so good at fighting he doesn't use normal weapons.
Kayle If sex is a sin, then why did God give his angels boob plating?
Master Yi The original Yasuo before Yasuo. I still want to delete both.
Morgana Sexy smouldering fallen angel turns out to be misunderstood and actually made some points. Definitely never been done in anime ever.
Nunu & Willump Hello Nunu & Willump from League of Legends. Hello Hiro & Baymax from Big Hero 6. Yes.
Ryze There is no reason a mage needs to be this shirtless and this ripped, but here he is for those who asked. Did anyone ask??
Sion Like, every orc from every fantasy anime ever, but to be fair they also took it from Warcraft, Tolkien, and D&D.
Sivir Wonder Woman. Did she break her spine posing in her base splash? Someone please get this girl a chiropractor.
Soraka The cottage-core variety of monster girl waifu.
Teemo The Pikachu of League, for better or for worse.
Tristana Little girl, big gun, clearly a reference to Black Rock Shooter.
Twisted Fate The one outlet gay Leaguers had before Graves.
Warwick For those of you really into werewolves, you know who you are. And you need Jesus.
So yeah, there you have it, since the release of Warwick, League's been pretty clearly appealing to weebs and the male gaze. The anime influence was pretty blatant when we got literal ninjas like Akali and Shen and literal samurais like Master Yi, and then we got literally Hatsune Miku as a champion with Sona, and even Teemo's just another generically cute anime mascot character. And champs like Nunu & Willump and Lux really kickstarted the recent Disney princess design we've been seeing. And since we got champs like Evelynn, Nidalee, Morgana, and Irelia it's pretty clear that Riot's been prioritizing waifus and sex appeal in their champ designs over something more original. Imagine if instead of being just another generic waifu, Irelia was a yordle, or old, or a monster. Or an old yordle monster. Instead Irelia falls into the new school of champ design where champs must be sexy waifus to sell their skins. I know this was a lot to read, so I appreciate if you read any of it and hope you too got something out of it. Riot's really been lazy and greedy with their uninspired champions since the release of Warwick and I hope they can go back to their early roots of fresh, creative designs that don't rely on this recent trend of sex appeal, waifu-baiting, or anime influence. Thank you for listening.
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2020.11.25 23:48 deedee07_ Here is the beanble :)

Genesis 1, The Beginning
In the beginning, Henry J Heinz created the Heinz Noble & Company. Now the earth was better than it was before, darkness was cleared from the world and everything made sense, finally we had what we needed. Heinz...
Then Henry J Heinz said "Let there be Horseradish", and there was Horseradish. Henry saw the Horseradish was good, and he created more and more. Henry called the Horseradish "Heinz Horseradish".
Then Henry said "Let there be more Horseradish", and there was more Horseradish. But Henry had made a mistake, he created too much Horseradish and Heinz went bankrupt in 1875. Everyone thought it was over for Henry but he had a trick up his sleeve.
Then Henry said a year later "Let there be F & J Heinz", and so the new company, F & J Heinz was formed. Henry formed it with his brother, John Heinz, and his cousin Frederick Heinz.
Then Henry said "Let there be Ketchup", and so there was Ketchup. Henry decided to name this "Heinz Tomato Ketchup", this was a big step for the Heinz Company.
Then Henry said in 1888 "Let there be no partners", and it was so. Henry J Heinz Bought out his partners, John Heinz and Frederick Heinz, the company name was changed from F & J Heinz to H. J. Heinz. Company
Then Henry said in 1896 "Let there be a slogan", and it was so. Henry J Heinz created the famous slogan "57 Varieties". He picked it as he saw an advertisement on a train, advertising 21 styles of shoes. Henry picked the number he wanted at random because he liked the sound of 57.
Henry saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was Ketchup, and there was Horseradish, but one thing was missing... HEINZ BEANS.
Genesis 2, Itbe and Fanta
This is the account of the Heinz Beans when they were created, when the Lord Henry made the Heinz Beans.
Now no Beans had yet appeared in Heinz, and no happiness had yet been created, for the Lord Henry had not sent Beans on the Earth and there was no good Bean brands to be seen. But Lord Henry, he had an idea. The Lord Henry had a child named Itbe.
Now the Lord Henry had planted a garden in the east, in Pittsburgh; and there he put the man he had birthed. The Lord Henry made all kinds of bushes grow out of the ground, bushes that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of Bush Beans, and the tree of Heinz Beans, one was good and one was evil.
A river watering the garden flowed from Pittsburgh; from there it was separated into four headwaters. The name of the first is the Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold. The name of the second river is the Gihon; it winds through the entire land of Cush. The name of the third river is the Tigris; it runs along the east side of Ashur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.
The Lord Henry took the man and put him in the Garden of Pittsburgh to work and take care of it. And the Lord Henry commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any bush in the garden;, but you must choose correctly between good and evil, for when you eat from the evil bush, you will certainly die." The woman said to Andrew Jackson Bush, "We may eat Beans from the bushes in the garden, but Henry did say, 'You must choose correctly between good and evil, for when you eat from the evil bush, you will certainly die.'"
"You will not certainly die," Andrew Jackson Bush said to the woman. "For Henry knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like me, Andrew Jackson Bush, knowing good and evil."
When the woman saw the fruit of the bush was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and almost ate it, instead she slapped Andrew Jackson Bush. "I am loyal to Heinz and i will NEVER eat Bush Beans." She then took some Heinz Beans from the good bush and ate it. She also gave some to her husband Itbe, who was with her and he ate them. Then they eyes of both of them were opened, they realized these were the best beans to ever be created.
Then the man and his wife hear the sound of the Lord Henry as he was walking in the Garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord Henry among the bushes of the Garden, But the Lord Henry called to the man, "Where are you?"
He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and i was eating Heinz Beans so i hid."
And Henry said, "You ate the Heinz Beans, this is amazing! I have spent years perfecting these and now the year is 1901 and i think I'm ready to sell them. How good were they?"
The man said, "The woman Fanta you put here with me, she gave the these Beans and i ate them, they were amazing, the best Beans i have ever eaten."
Then the Lord Henry J Heinz said to the woman, "Well done, how did you get the Beans?"
The woman said, "Andrew Jackson Bush tried to deceive me, but i ate the Heinz Beans, instead of the Bush Beans."
Then the Lord Henry said, "Well done woman, for you have not been fooled by the tricks of the Devil, Bush Beans are and forever will be our worst enemy."
Genesis 3, Kanye and Ben
Itbe made love to his wife Fanta, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Kanye. She said, "With the help of the Lord i have brought forth a man." Later she gave birth to his brother Ben.
Now Ben kept flocks, and Kanye worked the soil. In the course of time Kanye brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord Henry. And Ben also brought an offering, Heinz Beans. The Lord looked with favour on Ben and his offering, but on Kanye and his offering he did not look with favour. So Kanye was very angry, and his face was downcast.
Then the Lord Henry J Heinz said to Kanye, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, Bush Beans are crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it."
Now Kanye said to his brother Ben, "Let's go out to the field." While they were in the field, Kanye attacked his brother Ben and killed him.
The Lord Henry said to Kanye, "Where is your brother Ben?"
"I don't know," he replied. "Am I my brother's keeper?"
The Lord Henry said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brothers blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on this earth."Kanye said to the Lord, "My punishment is more than i can bear. Today you are driving me from the land, and i will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me."
But the Lord Henry said to him, "Not so; anyone who kills Kanye will suffer vengeance seven times over." Then the Lord put a mark on Kanye so that no one who found him would kill him. So Kanye went out from the Lords presence and lived in the land of Nod, East of Pittsburgh.
Kanye made love to his wife, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Hisoka. Kanye was then building a city, and he named it after his daughter Hisoka. To Hisoka was born Irad, and Irad was the father of Mehujael, and Mehujael was the father of Methushael, and Methushael was the father of Lamech.
Lamech married two women, one named Adah and the other Zillah. Adah gave birth to Jabal; he was the father of all who live in tents and raise livestock. His brothers name was Jubal; he was the father of all who played stringer instruments and pipes. Zillah also had a son, Tubal-Kanye, who forged all kinds of tools out of bronze and iron. Tubal-Kanye's sister was Naamah.
Lamech said to his wives, "Adah and Zillah, listen to me; wives of Lamech, hear my words. I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for injuring me. If Kanye is avenged seven times, then Lamech seventy-seven times."
Itbe made love to his wife again, and she gave birth to a son and named him Bean, saying, "God has granted me another child in place of Ben, since Kanye killed him." Bean also had a son, and he named him Hajime.
At that time people began to call on the name of the Lord Henry J Heinz.
Genesis 4, From Itbe to CJ
This is the written account of Itbes family line. When Henry created Heinz Beans, he made them in the likeness of the best taste in the entire world. He created them, males and females blessed them. And he named them "Heinz Baked Beans" when they were created.
When Itbe had lived 130 years, he had a son in his own likeness, in his own image; and he named him Bean. After Bean was born, Itbe lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Itbe lived a total on 930 years, and then he died.
When Bean had lived 912, he then peacefully passed away, he had many sons and daughters. (Including Hajime)
When Hajime had lived 90 years, he became the father of Kenan. After he became the father of Kenan, Hajime lived 815 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether Hajime lived a total of 905 years, and then he died.
When Kenan had lived 70 years, he became the father of Mahalalel. After he became the father of Mahalalel, Kenan lived 840 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Kenan lived a total of 910 years and then he died.
When Mahalalel had lived 65 years, he became the father of Jared. After he became the father of Jared, Mahalalel lived 830 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Mahalalel lived a total of 895 years, and then he died.
When Jared had lived 162 years, he became the father of Enoch. After he became the father of Enoch, Jared lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Jared lived a total of 962 years, and then he died.When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah. After he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked faithfully with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Enoch lived a total of 365 years. Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.
When Methuselah had lived 187 years, he became the father of Lamech. After he became the father of Lamech, Methuselah lived 782 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Methuselah lived a total of 969 years, and then he died.
When Lamech had lived 182 years, he had a son. He named him CJ and said, "He will comfort us in the labour and painful toil of our hands, caused by the ground the Lord Henry has created." After CJ was born, Lamech lived 595 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether Lamech lived a total of 777 years, and then he died.
After CJ was 500 years old, he became the father of Shem, Ham and Japeth.
Genesis 5, Wickedness in the World
When Heinz Beans began to increase in production numbers on the earth and more people began to like them, the sons of Henry J Heinz saw that the women who worked in the Bean farms were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose. Then the Lord said, "My spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be a hundred and twenty years."
The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of Henry went to the daughters of humans and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.
The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. Henry regretted that he had made Heinz Beans, and his heart was deeply troubled. So the Lord said, "I Will wipe from the dace of the earth the Heinz Beans i have created, for i regret that i have made them." But CJ found favour in the eyes of the Lord.
Genesis 6, CJ and the Flood
This is the account of CJ and his family
CJ was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked faithfully with Henry J Heinz. CJ had three sons, Shem, Ham and Japeth.
Now the earth was corrupt in Henry’s sight and was full of violence. He saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways, They started to eat Bush Beans.... So Henry said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all beans, for the earth is filled with Bush Beans and not enough Heinz because of them. I am surely going to destroy both brands, even though one of them is mine. It is the only way. So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. This is how you are to build it; The ark is to be three hundred cubits long, fifty cubits wide and thirty cubits high. Make a room for it, leaving below the rood and opening one cubit high all around. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks. I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every bean that has been on the earth. It will all perish. But i will establish my covenant with you, and you will enter the ark, you and your sons and your wife and your sons' wives with you. You are to bring into the ark, the recipe for every type of beans on the earth. After the world has been rid of beans you will use the recipes to create ONLY the good beans."
CJ did everything just as Henry commanded him.
The Lord then said to CJ, “Go into the ark, you and your whole family, because I have found you righteous in this generation of beans. Take with you every recipe of bean son this earth, and the seeds for them too, seven days from now i will send rain on the earth for forty days and forty nights, and i will wipe from the face of the earth every type of beans that has been made."And CJ did all that the Lord commanded him.
CJ was six hundred years old when the floodwaters came on the earth. And CJ and his sons and his wife and his sons’ wives entered the ark to escape the waters of the flood. The ark was filled with beans, as Henry had commanded CJ. and after the seven days the floodwaters came on the earth.
In the six hundredth year of CJ's life, on the seventeenth day of the second month, on that day all the springs of the great deep burst forth, and the floodgates of the heavens were opened. And rain fell on the earth for forty days and forty nights.
On that very day CJ and his sons, Shem, Ham and Japheth, together with his wife and the wives of his three sons, entered the ark. They had with them every type of beans, as Henry had commanded him. Then the Lord shut him in the ark.
For forty days the flood kept coming on the earth, and as the waters increased they lifted the ark high above the earth. the waters rose and increased greately on the earth, and the ark floated on the surface of the water. They rose greatly on the earth, and all the high mountains under the heavens were covered. The waters rose and covered the mountains to a depth of more than fifteen cubits. Every bean that was on land perished, they were all wiped out, only CJ's beans were left.The waters flooded the earth for a hundred and fifty days.
But Henry remembered CJ and all the beans that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded. Now the springs of the deep and the floodgates of the heavens had been closed, and the rain had stopped falling from the sky. The water receded steadily from the earth. At the end of the hundred and fifty days the water had gone down, and on the seventeenth day of the seventeenth month the ark came to rest on the mountains of Ararat. The waters continued to recede until the tenth month, and on the first day of the tenth months the tops of the mountains became visisble.
After forty days CJ opened a window he had made in the ark and sent out a raven, and it kept flying back and forth until the water had dried up from the earth. Then he sent out a dove to see if the water had receded form the surface of the ground. But the dove could find nowhere to perch because there was water over all the surface of the earth; so it returned to CJ in the ark. He reached out his hand and took the dove and brought it back to himself in the ark. He waited seven more days and again sent out the dove from the ark. When the dove returned to him in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf. Then CJ knew that the water had receded from the earth. He waited seven more days and sent the dove out again, but this time it did not return to him.
By the first day of the first month of CJ’s six hundred and first year, the water had dried up from the earth. CJ then removed the covering from the ark and saw that the surface of the ground was dry. By the twenty-seventh day of the second month the earth was completely dry.Then Henry said to CJ, “Come out of the ark, you and your wife and your sons and their wives. Bring out every kind of beans that is with you, so you can replant them and they will increase in number, but do NOT plant the Bush Beans."
So CJ came out, together with his sons and his wife and his sons’ wives. All the Beans were taken out of the ark and replanted.
Then CJ built an altar to the Lord and, taking some of the Heinz Beans, he sacrificed burnt offerings on it. The Lord smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all beans, as I have done."
"As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, Heinz and Bush, will never cease."
~~~~~~~ extra ~~~~~~~~
Henry’s Covenant With CJ Then Henry blessed CJ and his sons, saying to them, “Be fruitful and increase in Beans and fill the earth with Heinz Beans. The fear and dread of you will fall on all the beans of the earth, and on all the birds in the sky, on every creature that moves along the ground, and on all the fish in the sea; they are given into your hands. Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the beans, I now give you my love.”
“As for you, be fruitful and increase in Beans; multiply on the earth and increase upon it.”
Then Henry said to CJ and to his sons with him: “I now establish my covenant with you and your descendants after you and with every Bean that was with you. I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.”
And Henry said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all Beans. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between me and all living creatures on the earth.”
So God said to CJ, “This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth.” END OF HENRY’S COVENANT WITH CJ
The Sons of CJ
The sons of CJ who came out of the ark where Shem, Ham and Japheth (Ham was the father of Canaan.) These were the three sons of CJ, and from them came the beans that were scattered over the whole earth.
CJ, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard. When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers outside. But Shem and Japeth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father’s naked body. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father naked.
When CJ awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son had done to him, he said, “Cursed be Canaan! The lowest if slaves will he be to his brothers.”
He also said, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Shem! May Canaan be the slave of Shem. May God extend Japheth’s territory; may Japheth live in the tents of Shem, and may Canaan be the slave of Japheth.”
After the flood CJ lived 350 years. CJ lived a total of 950 years, and then he died. THE END OF THE SONS OF CJ
From Korean Man to Nezu
This is the account of Korean Man’s family line.
Two years after the flood, when Korean Man was 100 years old, he became the father of Arphaxad. And after he became the father of Arphaxad, Korean Man lived 500 years and had other sons and daughters.
When Arphaxad had lived 35 years, he became the father of Shelah. And after he became the father of Shelah, Arphaxad lived 403 years and had other sons and daughters.
When Shelah had lived 30 years, he became the father of Eber. And after he became the father of Eber, Shelah lived 403 years and had other sons and daughters.
When Peleg had lived 30 years, he became the father of Reu. And after he became the father of Reu, Peleg lived 209 years and had other sons and daughters.
When Reu had lived 32 years, he became the father of Serug. And after he became the father of Serug, Reu lived 207 years and had other sons and daughters.
When Serug had lived 30 years, he became the father of Nahor. And after he became the father of Nahor, Serug lived 200 years and had other sons and daughters.
When Nahor had lived 29 years, he became the father of Terah. And after he became the father of Terah, Nahor lived 119 years and had other sons and daughters.
After Terah had lived 70 years, he became the father of Nezu, Nahor and Haran.
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2020.11.24 04:00 Physical_Gold6324 Hidden naked men

I’ve been in a relationship for almost a year now and it it hands down the best relationship I’ve ever been in. He talks about marriage all the time, and we are so compatible. How ever I stumbled across his hidden photo album in his phone. This album consists of a naked and clothed photos of girls. They are screenshots and I can tell they’re from Instagram and Snapchat. He mostly has the same few females in that album and of course they are beautiful and have huge boobs and butt (which I don’t have). I have asked him about it, told him how it made me feel, but he continues to save them he has over 12,000 photos! I know it’s “normal” for men to do this and for masturbation and what not, but on the other end he is also doesn’t want to have sex often with me. I practically have to beg and when we do, he can’t finish. He says I’m not the problem, but it’s kind of hard to think that I’m not. I’ve never had an issue like this before. I know for a fact he’s not physically cheating and I don’t think he is online too, but I’m just in a hard place. I love this man so much but I don’t know what to do anymore.
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2020.11.24 00:15 OldSchoolHorror Night Terrors

Thom sat in the head shrinker’s office. Dr. Norvak had painted the walls in soothing pastels while muzak pumped through hidden speakers softly as to be almost inaudible. It was meant to be soothing but it grated on Thom’s already frayed nerves. Thom had heard somewhere that the pastel colors were supposed to put patients at ease. Maybe it even worked but most people didn’t have some awful thing under their bed every night.
Thom wondered if places like this, doctors, dentists, psychiatrists, and other medical places all consulted the same interior decorator. Bland colors with near identical boring artwork, a sailboat or a Norman Rockwell’s “The Runaway”, and the same six months out of date magazines. He could finally look and see who won the Super Bowl back in February. In Thom’s opinion all medical and medical related offices should have the same kind of décor, not this, more honesty. Thom had a strong dislike for modern medicine, doctors in general, and psychologists in specific.
All medical offices needed relocation to basements with bare stone walls that were always damp for no discernable reason despite the torches burning in sconces. The patients waiting in the office should be chained to the walls while the doctors and staff walked around topless with black leather hoods. Because that’s what these places really were; torture chambers.
Why try to hide it? Why lie? Might as well let people know what they were in for. Honesty, personal accountability was in short supply these days.
The only good thing Thom could see was the furniture was all high enough the light fully illuminated underneath. There were few shadows. None under the chairs or couches in the waiting room nor in the inner sanctum. He expected the sanctum to be dimly lit, shadowy, a million different places something might grab him, drag him into the dark.
Thom refused the psychologists offer to pull the blinds. The sun in his face was a relief. Warm, comforting, safe. There couldn’t be enough light.
Thom hadn’t shaved in days and his face was covered in stubble. Likewise, his hair was greasy, unkempt, in turn clinging in limp clumps or standing on end. Dark circles surrounded his sunken bloodshot eyes. His handshake with the doctor was quick and his palms were sweating. An aura of body odor around him Thom tried to hide underneath a heavy application of deodorant.
Thom looked like what he was: a man on the verge of a complete nervous breakdown. His body and mind were preparing to collapse from exhaustion. Lack of sleep was literally killing him.
Thom hadn’t had a decent night sleep in four months. He was starting to hallucinate. It was under the bed he shared with Libby through ten pretty good years of marriage.
Libby didn’t seem to notice or maybe it wasn’t bothering her. Little Marion didn’t seem to be bothered either. She went to bed with no more than the usual two-year-old amount of fuss. Nothing out of the ordinary there either. Thom wasn’t a saint and never made the claim.
Hey, he was human. What was he supposed to do? Say no?
In ten years of marriage to Libby he had been a decent husband to her, maybe he had been a little distant, and he was completely devoted to little Marion. Marion was his miracle. His low sperm count made it unlikely Libby would ever conceive.
The swimmers he did have were too much like him, lackadaisical. Unmotivated and unambitious they swam lazily. Libby called that lazy streak Thom time. He wasn’t lazy, he liked to do things at his own pace.
That thing under the bed couldn’t be dealt with in Thom time. It had to be handled soon. He couldn’t go much longer without sleep. When he first started hearing it he thought maybe there was a rodent in his bedroom. Foolishly he had gotten out of bed, set his feet down RIGHT BESIDE THE MATTRESS. He had no idea why he was even still here.
He fetched the flashlight from the kitchen and was coming up the stairs pretending to be a Jedi wielding a lightsaber. That’s when he saw It. Thom had turned his head toward his bedroom, blocking a laser blast in spectacular, effortless fashion. The underside of his bed was illuminated for a split second. It was under there. Looking at him. Wiry hair and pointed teeth. But in that split second, Thom saw its eyes. Red and horrible and greedy as the depths of hell. Staring hungrily at Thom. And Thom knew that if he went back to bed it would grab him by the ankle and jerk him into some awful unknowable darkness.
He ran back down the stairs flashlight and thoughts of Jedi forgotten. He had his hand on the doorknob unsure of where he was going. Anywhere that thing wasn’t worked for him. Then he thought about Marion. Imagining that thing skulking down the hall toward his sweet daughter’s bedroom. His cowardice would condemn his little girl.
He had to stay so it would leave his baby girl alone. Thom didn’t think about his wife that long first night. It was under his bed mere feet from Libby and she never entered his mind until the sun began to rise. He could hear it moving. There would be an occasional hiss of course hair moving against the underside of the box springs. Occasionally Thom heard it snort like the snot in the things nose was making breathing difficult. It was letting him know it was still waiting for him to come back to bed.
As the sun rose Thom began to feel a little silly. There were no such things as monsters. There certainly weren’t any underneath his bed. He was a grown man and such fears were for children. He wasn’t a child he was a man and he was going to act like a man; terrors of the night be damned. He marched determined not to acknowledge the creeping fear rising up his spine drawing the skin of his testicles tight.
He was going to march confidently into his bedroom, kiss his wife good morning, get dressed, eat breakfast, have coffee, and go to work. All normal boring adult things. No room for monsters under the bed.
Any minute now his legs would begin to move again.
The rising sun crept through his window and slid across the floor chasing away the shadows in the bedroom. Golden morning light, safe morning light, pushed the shadows further under the bed causing those remaining to thicken and blacken. The sunlight fought its way just underneath the bed and Thom heard a low growl. The sound was more the release of breath, like through a snotty nose.
Every night since had led Thom through the same routine. After dinner they gave Marion a bath. Then they would put her jammies on her and lay her in new big girl bed. Her outgrown crib replaced with a new toddler bed. Marion took to it right away telling them, “I go big girl sleep.”
After Marion had her fill of stories and drifted off into big girl sleep, he and Libby headed downstairs to clean up the dinner dishes. They never started the dishwasher until Marion had her bath. They might share a glass of wine. Thom would stream some music through Spotify or Pandora or on occasion Slacker Radio while they did the dishes. Thom would make a show of knowing all the lyrics, albums, and bands that came on. Libby pretended to be impressed.
After the dishes, Libby would take a quick shower and the pair would spend a couple of hours watching television or playing Diablo 3. Nothing satisfied like finding a fresh new piece of epic loot. A love of dungeon crawlers and loot hunts were a thing that had brought them together in the beginning of their relationship. They had their favorites, she still liked Minecraft. Thom liked role playing, action role playing, and shooter games but they shared a common passion for dungeon delving.
During the childless years they spent most of their free time enjoying worry free sex and hunting for loot. Entire weekends could easily be spent naked with a bottle of wine, a pizza, two controllers, and rumpled sheets. They were good years even without children but then Libby announced one morning she was pregnant.
She did it while making breakfast. Pass the butter, thanks. How much bacon do you want? Three cakes should do me. We’re going to have a baby. No big deal. Thom had burst into tears and then they had laughed at him. It was a good morning.
Marion had filled a void that Thom didn’t know had been growing between Libby and himself. She was an easy baby. She smiled and laughed all the time. She loved her mommy, but she was without a doubt her daddy’s girl. Thom could always make her go to sleep where she wouldn’t for Libby, or get her to eat, or most importantly he could get her to stop crying when her mother couldn’t. Marion would look at him and grin, hold his face in her tiny little hands, and whisper, “Daddy.” All the love in the world lived in her shiny face and that single breathy word.
He couldn’t leave her because It would have her. Libby didn’t seem to interest It much. It wanted him. Thom had to do something. His work was beginning to suffer. He was a programmer for a mid-sized firm and so far his skill set kept HR from firing him.
He had pulled off enough code Fu and IT wizardry in his eight years with the company that he got a little slack for his increasing level of flakiness. In fact, his work had talked to Libby to get him to go see a therapist. They were concerned the current round of pressure and deadlines was leading to burnout. They didn’t want to lose him as an employee. If he kept on they would have no choice but to fire him.
He went to the shrink more at Libby’s insistence than out of fear he might get fired. He was an experienced capable Software Engineer with a proven track record. Finding work would never be an issue for him again. His promotion to project manager meant he no longer had to be in the saddle for eight hours a day or more.
Now here he was in a psychologist’s office.
How could he explain there was a monster waiting in his home under the very bed he shared with his wife? Whenever Thom tried to sleep it came for him. He had tried sleeping on the couch only to hear it drag itself out from under the bed and begin slumping down the hall.
It moved slowly, heavily, so he would know it was coming. Moving ever closer. And when he slipped up and tried to sleep it would have him. Thom’s final moments would comprise of gnashing teeth, screams, and pain. While his sanity walked on out the door. Hell waited in the shadows beneath his bed. How could he explain? No prescription contained the cure for what ailed him.
Once he started down that path this nice well-meaning doctor would throw him into a nice well-meaning mental hospital where he would be unable to protect his baby from the thing under his bed. Who knew what other terrors lurked in the shadows? Would he be locked in a rubber room with a metal cot bolted to the floor? A room where the overhead never turned off so there would always be bristly hair or sharpened claws scraping the underside of his metal bed?
Would it whisper never ending stories about taking his family as he lay locked up, helpless? Would it tell him how his daughter screamed? Thom didn’t know and didn’t want to find out.
Dr. Norvak was missing a leg. The doc walked with a pronounced limp and the aid of a cane. He had a kind face with sharp and inquisitive eyes. Here is a man who regularly gets his eight hours sleep, Thom thought. His clothes were pressed and clean unlike the rumpled outfit Thom wore. Thom, Thom the wrinkle bomb.
“So, Thom, I hear you’ve been having trouble sleeping? Trouble at work?” Dr. Norvak asked. He looked at Thom at what Thom supposed was supposed to be concern. The stare was a little too direct, too intimate. A person didn’t become your best friend because you made an appointment. People who assumed intimacy got on Thom’s nerves. Friendship should be earned slowly, like trust. Hard won, easily lost.
Thom gave a vague nod keeping a distance from the doctor. Thom drifted near the window to stand in the golden patch of sun painting the floor. Well lit didn’t mean the room was trap free. Since this thing appeared in his life Thom had seen all manner of horrors. Things lived in the shadows no one should see. Most didn’t. Most people went about their lives oblivious of the hungry faces leering from dark places.
He heard homeless ranting about evils in the dark. Hard to avoid them in the city. He used to think them crazy. Ravings easily dismissed, crazy talk, not reality. Now he knew differently. Paranoid rants echoing between buildings contained more truth than he’d ever known. The thing under his bed confirmed it.
Looking at his appearance reflected in the doctor’s windows he didn’t see himself. The software professional, upwardly mobile successful man was gone. Haunted eyes stared back at him from a face he barely recognized. Stubbled cheekbones jutted out. He resembled one of those insane ravers. Dr. Norvak could only offer platitudes, dig into his childhood, or worse prescribe a sleep aid. Thom had moved beyond help. He’d lost sight of the path.
Dr. Norvak stared at him expectantly. He must have asked a question Thom completely missed.
“What did you say? Sorry, I was…. somewhere else.” Thom’s cheeks reddened. Focus never used to be a problem. One more thing he had lost control of. He hated it. Now he kept up with shadows and paths of shadows.
“I asked if you’d like to sit down. It’s ok if you’d prefer to stand. Never mind, where did you go?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course, it matters. You don’t think I can help you, but I can.”
Sure buddy, sure you can, Thom thought, got a flamethrower? An old priest and a young priest? All I need to do is tell you about the monster under my bed. A monster who won’t let me get any sleep. My work is suffering? Who gives a fuck about work? It wants to eat me or my daughter. Perhaps both, like a two for one. Get a clue.
Thom didn’t say any of that. He said, “No, you really have no idea.”
The doctor grinned. Condescending jerk, Thom thought. He sat behind his desk, fingertips meeting in a little teepee over a yellow legal pad, smiling over his glasses at Thom. Thom was too far away to read what was written although he had no doubt the words hospital and paranoid were somewhere close to his name.
“Let me take a shot in the dark, and if I’m right, you sit, and we talk like civilized men.”
Thom nodded said, “But if you’re wrong, I’m out of here and you write up a glowing review. I get back to my life.”
This time the doctor nodded and then continued, “Fair enough. You haven’t been sleeping well, that’s obvious. You’re edgy, on guard, shadows make you nervous. Out of high school you went to college where you got by, not great, not bad. From there, you landed a job where you do enough to not get fired.”
Thom wasn’t overly impressed with the loose generalities. A bunch of carny bullshit meant to fool rubes. If this was his best bit Thom was wasting his time.
“You have a wife you’re slowly becoming disinterested in. You don’t know why. One child, maybe more, and the child is the reason you’re still around. The sex is boring, repetitive. Life has shown you all it has to offer leaving you feeling stale. So, you went out and made a mistake.”
The doctor had his attention. Still, millions of married people felt the same.
“Guilt about the mistake claws at you, an affair, maybe you stole something…no,” now the doctor seemed to be considering him for the first time. Thom felt like a bug under a microscope. All secrets laid bare. “No, I don’t see a thief. You don’t strike me as a particularly violent man either. Let’s rule that out, shall we? Your sin was betrayal, I think. You thought you could get away with it, keep it to yourself, but it’s haunting you.”
Thom stood considering.
“It won’t let you sleep. The lack of sleep is affecting every other aspect of your life. You’re trapped. You don’t want to lose your family. You can’t move past the guilt. To confess might cost your family and that’s too high a price. How am I doing?”
Thom crossed the room and sat down.
“Close. But not quite.”
Dr. Norvak raised his eyebrows slightly. “Okay, let’s start with what I got right.”
Thom leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes for a second. A low growl echoed from behind a bookshelf. Thom’s eyes snapped back open and he exhaled a breath he wasn’t aware of holding. Dr. Norvak appeared not to notice.
“I hate my job. Up until this…this…insomnia started I hated my life.”
“Lots of people hate their jobs. They make changes to improve their lives.”
“Yeah, but I’m not lots of people.”
“Do you think that attitude is a little self-absorbed? Empathy binds us together as a society. It makes us human.”
“I know how fucked up it sounds. We’re just getting started.”
“My apologies Thom, I don’t mean to be confrontational. Please, continue.”
Thom shook his head, “Growing up I always felt there was something to look forward to. There was always the next level to aspire to. A goal to work toward, you know?” Thom didn’t wait for an answer. He had opened the flood gates. The story would be told.
“After graduation, I was married, had a kid. I’d locked down the big tech job. All that remained was…routine. I’d get up, drink coffee, go code, come home, eat dinner, watch tv or play a game, go to bed. The next day I’d get up and do it again. Nothing changed. Ever. I wondered, is this it? Is this my life? I felt like I’d been programmed into an endless loop. Every day was the same.
One day we had a retirement party for one of the senior partners. The guy already looked dead to me. In a way I knew he WAS me, thirty or forty years down the road. Congrats, here’s a cake and a cheap watch. Go home. Try not to die. I turned to leave and ran into her.”
“Her?” The doctor raised his eyebrows.
“Yes, her. Don’t most stories in here involve a her?”
“Please continue. Her.”
“She was interning. Still in college. Hopeful. You know the type, pretty, fresh, bright eyed, naïve, nice tits. Starry eyed a senior project manager bumped into her. I took advantage. She asked if she could take me to dinner. Pick my brain. I guess she wasn’t quite as naïve as I thought.”
“Go on.”
“She was fun, flirty. Didn’t really talk about work. Her youthful optimism, things she wanted, places she wanted to go, her passion was infectious. Libby, my wife, droned on about neighbors or the baby. I felt like I was suffocating.”
“She talked me into going to a club with her. She didn’t have to try hard, I wanted to go. She looked amazing.
The club pulsed with heat, noise, desperation. Conversation was impossible. It didn’t matter. She took me by the hand, led me to the dance floor, fed me a pill that was probably ecstasy but I’m not certain, and we danced.”
“You danced? Nothing more?”
“Well, by dance I mean she was grinding up against me. Rubbing my hands up and down her body. Libby never moved like that. Even when we were young, she never moved like her. I should have felt awkward. I didn’t. Older guy, hot young girl, the drugs, fuck it’s cliché.”
“The next morning, I came home and told Libby a lie about staying in the office. She asked why I didn’t answer the phone I told another lie about being in the secure server room. She doesn’t know it doesn’t exist. She never understood much about what I do. I went directly to the shower and then to bed. That’s when…never mind…
Libby didn’t suspect anything and why should she? I’d never done anything like this before. I’d been Mr. Dependable for years. Staying out all night was an anomaly, a one-time deal, nothing to be concerned about. Either that or she didn’t care. She trusted me, couldn’t conceive of me being unfaithful. I don’t believe she knew how unhappy I was either. I don’t know. You’d have to ask her.”
“You interrupted yourself. You were going to say that was the first time,” Dr. Norvak made circles in the air with his hands, the universal GO ON gesture, “what?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“That isn’t the whole truth, is it? Let’s do an experiment.” Dr. Norvak stood up. Moving toward the beaded chain which would close the blinds. “I’m going to close these blinds. Each lie you tell, I turn the rod blocking out a little more sunlight.”
“Please, don’t. You don’t know what you’re doing.” Thom jumped up, rushing toward the door. The knob wouldn’t turn. Dr. Norvak locked the door sometime during his story.
“I know exactly what I’m doing, Thom. This is a place for honesty. Confession. More lies and we’ll sit, locked in together. In the dark.”
The square of unfiltered sunlight now marred with thin shadows thrown by the blinds.
The doctor looked at him flatly, all kindness and consideration gone. “Sit down, Thom. What you do determines what It is going to do. It’s like a bear in that regard don’t you think? Yes, quite like a bear.”
“What am I supposed to do? What is It? How do you know about It?”
Dr. Norvak tapped his missing leg. “I’ve dealt with It before. Confess. That’s what It wants, why It chose you. Your guilt called It.”
“But I did confess.”
“The whole truth, dear boy.”
Dr. Norvak twisted the clear plastic rod and the blinds rotated. The shadows thickened into bars.
“It was an accident! How much do I need to suffer?”
“You took on a special burden when you chose to reward faithfulness with betrayal. You chose. Now own your choice, take responsibility.”
Another twist. The bars thickened. Sunlight swapped places with shadow becoming thin beams cutting the darkened square.
“I can’t do that!,” Thom wailed, “I can’t lose Marion!”
“Your wife leaving you, taking your daughter is a possibility. It taking her where you will never see her again is a certainty. It will suck your pain and guilt forever. That’s not possibility. That WILL happen. You look close to breaking, and I’m a fair judge, I don’t think you have much time at all.”
A claw emerged from behind the bookshelf scratching a fine tear in the silken wall paper.
Tears ran down Thom’s face. Somehow this doctor knew. If the rod twisted anymore the blinds would cut off the sunlight completely. Thom knew when it happened his guilt was inescapable. Everything comes home eventually. “You know what gamma-hydroxybutyric acid is?”
“GHB. A date rape drug.”
Thom’s voice was flat, mechanical, relating the details of premeditated rape as casually as reading off a grocery list. “I’d gotten some before the retirement party. I’d had my eye on the intern since she started. I asked her out. I asked her to the club. My heart was pounding as I slipped it into her drink. I took her on the dancefloor to speed it through her system. I guess I used too much, she started to go limp. I drug her to the bathroom.”
Dr. Norvak said nothing. The claw had been joined by another, tearing new strips in the wall.
“While having sex with her-“
“Raping her.” Dr. Norvak corrected.
“Yes. R-Raping her. She stopped breathing. I got scared and left her on the toilet. Later I heard she died. It wasn’t my fault.” Thom’s eyes pleaded for Dr. Norvak to understand, to open the blinds.
“You raped and murdered a young woman, left her in a filthy bathroom to die, because you got bored.”
“N-no” Thom blubbered. “I didn’t mean to-“
“What? Kill her? Violate her? What exactly didn’t you mean to do? Go to the police. I’ll give you one day and then I’m duty bound to call them. One day, Thom. One. Your hour is up. If you want to talk further, your company isn’t going to pay for any more of my time. That will be on you. If you’d like to discuss anything else, make an appointment with my secretary. Get out of my office.”
Dr. Norvak twisted the rod. Sunlight flooded back in chasing away the shadow.
Confessing to Libby went the way he imagined. Three days ago, she’d taken Marion and left. He was sure the police were looking for him. There had been several knocks on the door. Now they were out there pounding. The frame shook beneath the force. Pictures of his family rattled, falling off the walls shattering. Broken glass tinkled along the hallway. His cell phone indicated seventeen missed calls.
He’d pushed all the furniture out of the bedroom except for the mattress and the lamps. No shadows in here. He’d figure a way out of this mess, but first he needed to sleep. As he lay staring at his bedroom door, the closet swung open on silent hinges. A low growl emanated from the darkness within.
Outside the front door he heard, “Cut the power, we’re going in.”
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2020.11.19 00:33 killa5abi Touch of Evil Part 2

Escalating the Moral Argument
As Hank declines and Vargas becomes more powerful, the moral argument between them escalates and is explored in more detail. Pete finds his old friend Hank getting drunk in a bar in Mexico. Not sure if his friend is right but wanting to help him anyway, Pete tries to sober Hank up so that he can confront Vargas. At that moment Vargas is across the street trying to convince the D.A. and the police chief that Hankmighthaveplantedtheevidence. InthescenewithPete,Hank talks about his ghost, how his wife was strangled and how Hank, as just a rookie cop at the time, was unable to catch the murderer. Hank says strangulation is the perfect way to commit a murder; that is the last murderer he ever let get through his hands.
This ghost, as in all great writing, is the source of Hank's moral need, his character flaw. The audience does not know who actually killed Hank's wife and that is the point. Hank doesn't know either, but he believes a particular man did the job. That flaw, of thinking that believing constitutes knowing, is what has made Hank determined to destroy whomever he believes has committed a crime rather than let the system, created to uncover the truth, make that judgment. Then Hank goes back on the attack, justifying his actions by accusing Vargas of what he himself is guilty of when he says, "He wants to fight dirty? Well that's the kind of fight he's gonna get."
In the incredibly difficult challenge of showing the tragic fall of a modern man, this scene is very important. If the audience is to care for a man who is becoming corrupt, they must have information about his past, about the ghost that drives him and helps cause his flaw. Without this information, Hank is not human, and ironically, he is not great. Only by showing the tremendous pain that Hank feels, by showing his deep feeling for what is good and what has been wasted by brutality, can the audience see this hulking surly man as great. And only by giving Hank a series of justifications can the audience see that this man is not evil but rather is working from his own moral laws, however flawed.
For the second time Vargas and Hank come into direct moral argument. Vargas is arguing to the Chief and the D.A. that some cops do take bribes, that some cops do abuse their power. The exchange comes right to the point, and is a classic presentation of a strong moral argument in dialogue. Quinlan: "Your friend Vargas has some very special ideas about police procedure. He seems to think it don't matter whether a killer is hanged or not so long as we obey the fine print in the rule books." Vargas: "I don't think the policeman should work as a dog catcher putting criminals behind bars, no. In any free country a policeman's supposed to enforce the law. And the law protects the guilty as well as the innocent." Quinlan: "My God, it's tough enough." Vargas: "It's supposed to be. It has to be tough. A policeman's job is only easy in a police state. That's the whole point, Captain. Who is the boss, the cop or the law."
Here, as throughout the film, the two men argue against audience expectation: the investigator from the home of modern democracy, America, argues that the end is what is important while the investigator from Mexico, the new democracy which is not yet a democracy in practice, argues the case for putting the law above the enforcer. This is one of the marks of great writing that the audience's expectations can be undercut and the audience forced to realize that such terms as democracy and freedom have no meaning except as how individuals live them.
Vargas' case is too strong, but Hank is far too smart to be stopped by a direct argument. In the first example in the film of connecting Vargas' righteous investigation of the crime with his failure to take care of his wife, Hank makes an extremely subtle, perhaps too subtle, attack on another moral aspect when he says, "Where's your wife?" Vargas: "What do you mean? You know where she is as well as I do. Sgt. Menzies drove her. She's at the motel." Quinlan: "Oh? And you're still here?"
But Vargas comes back on the attack when he says that a ranch hand of Hank's says they used 15 sticks of dynamite out of 17 sticks that were bought. Hank is rattled. Now he is clearly on the defensive, but he is not beat. He immediately takes the one recourse open to him to check the attack of his opponent. He accuses Vargas, a foreigner, of spying on him at his ranch. Surrounded by weak men, Hank pulls out his badge and tosses it on the table. He goes on about thirty years of crummy pay, giving his life to the job, and then says he won't take his badge back until the people vote it back. The ploy works for a while. But Vargas will not be stopped by a simple appeal to emotion.
Crossing the Third Moral Line
When Vargas leaves, Hank crosses the third moral line. To the Chief and the D.A., Hank accuses Vargas of being a dope addict and of hooking his wife as well. All he asks is to be given a chance to prove his claim. The next moment, Vargas continues his attack on Hank by searching old police records of Hank's past cases. Vargas tells the Assistant D.A. that he can handle the investigation on his own. This independent, loner mentality is Vargas' strength, but as the cut to the next story line shows, it is his weakness as well. For at that moment, the young hoods at the motel attack Susie in her room and once again Vargas is not there to help her.
When Sgt. Menzies arrives at the police hall of records, he and Vargas have another direct moral argument. Vargas has uncovered the cases in which either Hank or Pete uncovered the principle evidence in a case and in each instance the defense denied the existence of the evidence. Naturally, Pete's first concern is for his friend, Hank, even though he himself could be guilty and in danger of losing his reputation. Pete can't stand to hear such talk about his idol.
The exchange between Pete and Vargas points up the two approaches to what Vargas has found, the personal and the professional. The difference in the two approaches, expressed beautifully in the dialogue, highlights a difference so vast it is almost an evolutionary difference. Vargas: "It's all there in the record." Pete: "All these years he spent building his reputation." Vargas: "All these years he spent planting evidence, preying on suspects." Pete: "That's a lie." Vargas: "I think I can prove it, Sergeant." "Sure you can smear him. Ruin his whole life's work. I don't even know where he is. That's what you've done to him." Vargas: "What I've done to him." Pete: "He's on an important case and he's disappeared. Good and drunk probably. After twelve years on the wagon. That's what you've done to him." Vargas: "What about Quinlan, Sergeant? What's he done? What about all those people he put in the death house.
Save your tears for them." For Hank Quinlan, down the road of good intentions is hell.
Decline into Hell
But at the moment of his triumph, trumpeting the law and a human process over personal feeling, intuition and revenge, Vargas discovers that his own house is out of order. When he reaches the hotel where his wife has been staying, he walks into a hellish place: darkness, the wind blowing, empty rooms, presided over by an idiot, his wife gone, her clothes strewn about and even the gun he left with her gone. And then he learns, to his horror, that the motel to which his wife had gone for comfort and probably safety is owned by the Grandy family.
Hank Quinlan has also entered his personal hell. He goes to the hotel room in town where Grandy's men have left a drugged and unconscious Susie on the bed. Grandy is there alone waiting for him. But Hank will have no partners in crime. Hank is about to take another step in his moral decline, cross another border to a place wheregreatnessisonlyamemory,onlyapossibility. Withagun,he forces Grandy to call the police station so that he can talk to Pete, who is presiding over the interrogation of Sanchez. Hank tells Pete that Vargas's wife has been found drugged and tells him to pass the tipalonganonymouslytotheviceboys. Andthen,inabeautifully shot sequence, with an outside light flashing on and off, the huge, intimidating investigator becomes a terrifying killer.
Like a frightened animal in a state of nature, Grandy runs desperately about the locked room, trying to escape the predator. But the beast is upon him and Hank uses the method he has always said makes the perfect murder, strangulation. Presumably, Hank kills Grandy to hide his own corruption and to implicate Vargas in a revenge killing for what has happened to his wife. Or perhaps he is just concerned to erase anyone who knows of his complicity. Susie finally wakes up and stares at the dead, bug-eyed, Grandy, hanging directly over her face. Half naked and screaming, she climbs out the window onto the fire escape and the people in the noisy town below canonlylookupandlaugh. Continuingthelinesetfromthevery beginning of the film, Vargas passes by in the car and doesn't hear whenSusiecallsouttohim. Typically,heisdoingthewrongthingat the wrong time.
VengeanceisverydefinitelyonthemindofVargas. The upstanding policeman, who has been criticizing Hank for improper procedure, has now experienced a personal attack on his own wife.
The mirror image of Hank's past is unmistakable. And like Hank, Vargas goes outside of the law to achieve personal justice. He charges into a Mexican bar, beats one of the Grandy boys unconscious, attacks another and trashes the bar before the assistant D.A. arrives to tell him that his wife has been picked up.
This scene has strong dramatic punch, but it lacks thematic power and points out what has been a major flaw throughout the film. The script has tried to show Vargas guilty of a sin of omission by simply cross-cutting his scenes of investigation with his own wife's jeopardy. But a simple cross-cutting of story lines is not enough to make a strong, thematic point. Vargas has always been shown to be a good and right man doing a job that has to be done and if his wife happens to go to a motel that the Grandys own and if Grandy is, himself, planning to ensnare her in a trap, Vargas has no way of knowingthatordefendingagainstit. ThroughoutthefilmVargashas never questioned himself nor has anyone else. Only Hank has mentioned that Vargas may be putting his own wife in danger by what he is doing.
So when Vargas attacks one of the Grandy boys in the bar and says, "Listen! I'm no cop, now, I'm a husband...where's my wife?" he appears to the audience to be a righteous victim and not a man with a moral flaw. This is why Vargas has never been the main character of the film. The tone and the structure of the film have shown him to be a good man who is unaware of the plotting of those around him while his opponent, Hank Quinlan, has been shown to be a man whose moral decline is the product of his own choice. Upon learning that his wife is also in jail on a murder rap, Vargas runs to her and says only, "Susie, forgive me." The apology is a passionate one, but not nearly enough.
Shift to A New Main Character
Atthispoint,TOUCHOFEVILdoesacuriousthing. Thefilm shifts its main focus to a minor character, Sgt. Pete Menzies. On the one hand, this shift allows the film to close with tremendous power. On the other hand, the fact that this shift is necessary points up the greatest flaw of the film - the fact that Hank Quinlan is too opaque a character. Hank is clearly the main character in the film in that he is the one who has chosen to take a number of immoral decisions that have led to the fall of a respected and powerful man. But while the audience has seen Hank's stature and ability, they have never seen his
heart. He has mentioned losing his wife once, and while that scene is necessary it is not sufficient. Hank is such a gruff man, even when drunk, talking to Menzies, or when talking to his old friend, Tanya, that the audience has difficulty feeling his pain and sympathizing with his motive.
The shift to Menzies is also necessary because Hank's desire in the story has been reactive, that is, to stop Vargas from uncovering his own corruption. The structural decision at the beginning of the film to make Vargas the apparent hero takes its toll at the film's conclusion. With Grandy's murder, Hank has completed his series of actions. Now Hank can only wait and the great struggle, choice and action of the film, must switch to Pete.
Relative to Vargas, Pete might be considered an ally/opponent. That is, a man who has been in opposition to Vargas for most of the film, only to gain sympathy for Vargas' plight and become his ally at theend. WhenPetelooksinthecellandseeswhathashappenedto Susie, he appears to be a man whose world is falling apart. Unlike Hank, this is a man whose feelings are in his face and he, too, is a victim,avictimofhisownidolatry. Nowheispayingthepriceand he must make a tough decision. He takes Vargas into another room where he shows him Hank's cane, found in the hotel room where Grandy was killed.
The cane has always been the link between Hank and his partner, Pete. Pete is always bringing the cane to Hank, who once stopped a bullet for him, or so he thinks. It has become, over the course of the film, a significant object, the symbol, not only of the relationship between the two men, but also of what was best in Hank. No one has spoken of Hank's greatness more than Pete. And no one has been more concerned about his physical and moral deterioration than Pete. And now the cane is the object that convinces Pete that Hank has gone over the greatest line of all, that he has not simply planted evidence that will convict someone else of murder, but that he has actually committed murder himself. The choice of whether to help Vargas against the man he has idolized is perhaps the greatest personal and moral dilemma of the film. And it is given not to the main character, but to the man whose sense of decency and love will give it the most emotional impact for the audience.
Pete chooses the law above his friend. As Hank sits in Tanya's house listening to the player piano, Pete and Vargas set up a wireless microphone tape-recording system to get a confession from Hank. Pete begs Vargas to let him handle the operation alone. But Vargas will not relinquish the investigation. He must have the confession, he says, to clear his wife's name. Neither man likes what he is about to do. Vargashatesthespyingandthecreeping. Petehatesacting against the best friend he ever had. In a crucial final exchange, Pete argues one last time for his friend and bares his soul.
Pete says, "No doubt about it. Hank is the best friend I've ever had." Vargas: "That's one reason for my staying." Pete: "Oh, you don't trust me, huh. Don't forget I was the one that showed you that cane. I didn't have to do it, you know." Vargas: "Yes you did Sergeant." Pete: "Somebody could have planted it there..." Vargas: "You're an honest cop." Pete: "Sure I am. And who made me an honest cop? Hank Quinlan...I am what I am because of him."
In his final exchange with his old friend Tanya, a drunk Hank asks her to read the cards. Quinlan: "Come on. Read my future for me." Tanya: "You haven't got any." Quinlan: "Hmm? What d'ya mean?" Tanya: "Your future is all used up." Tana's final line is a comment pregnant with meaning. It focuses in a natural and unassuming way the central question of the tragic fall of this man. He has been a man of great potential and great ability whose life choices have destroyed his future. A man's past and present affect his future and, at least for this man, make freedom and greatness impossible for him.
The Battle
Pete goes to the house and calls his old friend outside. Hank questions him about Vargas' missing gun. Hidden in the background, Vargas follows with the receiver and tape recorder. Hank, ever the capable detective with his famous hunches, seems to know that Pete is carrying a microphone when he asks about the thing he's wearing. But it turns out that Hank is accusing Pete of wearing a halo, of talking too much to Vargas. Now begins the final moral argument.
Hank says, "Watch out...Vargas will turn you into one of these here starry-eyed idealists. They're the ones making all the real trouble in the world. Careful. They're worse than crooks. You can always do something with a crook..." Pete: "Sometimes you can turn into a crook yourself. Look what happened with Grandy." Quinlan: "Partner, nobody ever called me a crook...Look at that oil well.
Pumpingupmoney. Money. Don'tyouthinkIcouldhavebeenrich? A cop in my position. What do I have?" Pete: "I'm talking about Grandy." Quinlan: "After thirty years. A turkey ranch, that's all I got. A couple of acres...An honest cop, then this Mexican comes along. Look at the spot he puts me in." Pete: "You can't blame Vargas for what happened to Grandy."
The moral argument is extremely tight here, filled with meaning and justification. Welles, the writer and director, wisely stops the talk by having Vargas' malfunctioning tape recorder whistle. The moment is tense, but Hank doesn't quite catch it. Quinlan: "I blame Vargas for everything...Do you think I'd be in a situation where Grandy could blackmail me? And then of course when I had to defend myself..." Pete: "Hank. You murdered Grandy...You're a killer, Hank." Quinlan: "Partner, I'm a cop." Pete: "...I guess you were somehowthinkingofyourwife,thewayshewasstrangled." Quinlan: "Always thinking of her. Drunk or sober. What else is there to think about, except my job. My dirty job." Pete: "You didn't have to make it dirty." Quinlan: "I don't call it dirty. Look at the record. Our record. All those convictions." Pete: "Convictions, sure. How many did you frame?" Quinlan: "Nobody. Nobody that wasn't guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Every last one of them." Pete: "All these years you've been playing me for a sucker. Faking evidence." Quinlan: "Aiding justice, pardner."
Thisissimplysuperbmoralargumentinthebattlescene. For the first time Hank presents his credo. The other man made him do it. The man he killed was scum. His job is to stop murderers. He is alwaysthinkingofhiswifeandhowherkillergotaway. The convictionsjustifytheaction. Finally,theargumentthatwhetherany evidence was found, the men convicted were guilty. That's justice. In this scene Welles brings together, as a writer, a director, and an actor, all the elements of a great climactic battle, not of physical strength but of ways of thinking, acting, and living.
And now that he has made his confession but also his justification, Hank notices the echo of the tape recorder under the bridge. This time his hunches are right. Hank senses that Vargas is close to him. He becomes furious. He wants Vargas. Pete insists that he is not working for Vargas, he is working for the department, he is working for the law. He demands that Hank give him Vargas' gun.
At that moment, Pete gets the biggest shock of his life. His old friend, the man he has idolized, the great cop, shoots him. To the pain of the bullet is added the pain of what his old friend has done. He reaches for Hank's hand as he collapses to his knees, his face the face of ultimate disillusionment and horror. His bloody hands leave blood on Hank's hand. Hank pushes past Vargas, past the bridge - yet another borderline - and walks down the slag heap to the water. Like Lady MacBeth, Hank tries to wash his hand clean, but he is washing in scummy, polluted water, and is surrounded by garbage. Hank collapses amidst the ruins of the junk heap and a tear rolls down his cheek.
But Hank is proud even to the end. When Vargas says this is one time, one thing, he will not be able to talk himself out of, Hank responds that he is always able to talk himself out of things. Vargas, he says, will take the rap. Hank lifts his gun, ready to shoot Vargas as well. A car, carrying Susie and assistant D.A. Schwartz, approaches the bridge. Vargas starts to run, but a shot rings out and Vargas stops. Hank says he only wanted to turn Vargas around so he wouldn't have to shoot him in the back. Vargas, too, is a proud man, probably too proud, and he turns to face the bullet. At that moment Pete shoots his old friend, Hank Quinlan, and dies. As Vargas runs to be with his wife, assistant D.A. Schwartz plays back the tape, and Tanya rushes up.
Self and Thematic Revelations
With Shakespearean density, tragedy is piled on tragedy in the final battle. And then, in the mark of a great writer, Welles gives Hank a stunning moment of self-revelation. Listening to the recording, Hank is brought face to face with himself. He hears the false justification for his corruption in his own words and the moment when he shot his best friend, a wonderfully decent man who worshipedhim. Hewalksunderthebridgebeneathhisdeadfriend and says, "Pete, that's the second bullet I've stopped for you." And Pete's blood drips down and once again splashes on Hank's hand. Then, perhaps in horror, perhaps in despair, Hank backs up and falls dead in the water.
In great writing the theme explodes as the crucial oppositions take their toll and the audience experiences a thematic revelation that perhaps can affect their lives. Here, the tragedy is underlined and extended by an ironic twist. Schwartz says to Tanya, "His famous intuition was right after all. He framed that Mexican kid Sanchez, but he didn't even need to. The kid confessed about that bomb. So...it turns out Quinlan was right after all." Then Schwartz says, "You really liked him, didn't you?" Tanya: "The cop did. The one who killed him. He loved him." Schwartz: "Yeah...Hank was a great detective, all right." Tanya: "And a lousy cop."
With just a few lines the power of the tragedy explodes. Hank was a man who was loved, but it did not matter to him. In many great films, the thematic revelation gains its impact from a single line. Such films bring together all of the arguments, justifications, and points of view that have led people to do what they do and then they express those in a single, powerful distinction that presents two entire courses of action in life. Hank was "a great detective, all right...And a lousy cop."
In a place where people must live together, one must not only be able to uncover the truth and fix blame when someone has hurt someone else, one must also be able to do that with justice. One must be able to do that with a method that tries to transcend prejudice to have the best chance of finding the truth and convicting those who are actually guilty. Otherwise the hurt is compounded, the tragedy grows and those people called cops who are given the power to right the wrongs, to defend the innocent, to imprison, maim and sometimes kill by common consent, these cops can themselves become murderers. It is not a small point. Rather, it is a point so significant to how we live our lives that a detective who was a bad cop had to kill and be killed by a decent man who loved him.
The tragedy is deepened further in the next few lines. Schwartz asks Tanya if that's all she can say for Hank. We the audience have a sense, perhaps from Shakespeare, that tragedy can be affirming if those who remain after can say something ennobling about the one who has fallen. But as befits the tragedy of a common man, Tanya can only make the ambiguous comment, "He was some kind of a man."
This single line speaks volumes about the unknowability of a person. This is a story about a man who lived behind a facade. People idolized this false man and others died because of him, and even his closest friend didn't know who he really was. That sense of separateness permeates this film in so many ways. The separation between people, even lovers and friends. Two countries on either side of the border, neither respecting the other. Two different views of the law. So much of the tragedy in our lives comes from that separation, and from the unknowability of one person toward another. This is also the great weakness of the film, because while Hank is ultimately unknowable to all of us, still his opaqueness deprives us of the total power of the fall of this man.
In the next line Tanya says, "What does it matter what you say about people?" Ironically, that line of despair deepens the audience's sense of loss of this common man. Indeed the line seems to explode into metaphysical significance. With her line, Tanya points out that the act of saying something good or saying something significant about people after they are dead is simply a false romanticism to give us a sense that in some way they are not really dead. But they are dead and what we say about them will make no difference. There is everything to lose by saying something good for this man even though thismanmayhavedonemuchgood. Thereisonlygainfromknowing that entire lives are wasted and lost because of a way of thinking and living. Tanyaturnsandheadsoffintothedarknessandthepumping oil wells and the barren landscape and Schwartz says, "Goodbye, Tanya." She turns and says, "Adios", and walks away. The borders dividing Mexico and America, man and woman, friend and enemy, person and person, still there, always.
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2020.11.18 02:22 Shaturo123 Hidden naked men

I have concluded that there are many species of naked grey men and I will show case them all and what they are all about.
The naked grey men photo: https://i.redd.it/dxwc6rrr1c011.png
The naked grey man, diverse in danganronpa meme culture, and many things unsolved. Today we will be talking about the theory that they are a entire species. Naked grey men are are very similar to use humans, although are missing reproduction parts. Well actually that aren't missing them they are just hidden. They come and go at free will as they want to reproduce. They do have a very predatory background , and that is why they kill a lot. There are also women versions but they are practically the same. (photo: just play through the whole of THH Naked grey women ) There are also the children version (photo). They where clothes as they don't do reproduction, they take off more and more clothes as they grow older.
Naked navy men photo
They are basically the same as naked grey men but are stronger. After the grey men became a endangered species, Naked navy man took the naked men dominance of species . Although, they kill more creatively so that's one up from them.
The bright lights The only photo to exist of them
Bright lights are the rearrest of the bunch. There are only 4 ever that have been documented. They all seem to be very extroverted and friendly. They acting but it seems as if that's their only hobby. They are friendly making them easy to prey on. Sadly, that lead to their downfall. They eventually went extinct as the last of them have died in Towa City.
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2020.11.16 19:31 LChris24 Hidden naked men

Boros Blount is probably one of the worst people in the series, but his status at the end of ADWD has piqued my interest and so I thought I would look into what exactly is going on with him.

Ser Boros was the worst of the Kingsguard, an ugly man with a foul temper, all scowls and jowls. -ACOK, Sansa II
Thoughts on Boros Blount's health
Background Appointment to Kingsguard
We know very little about Boros historically, but GRRM did have this to say regarding his appointment to the Kingsguard:
5) Why were men like Meryn Trant, Boros Blount, Preston Greenfield and Arys Oakheart ever accepted as White Swords? Nobody thinks much of their skill.
GRRM: Sometimes the best knights are not eager to take such stringent vows, and you have to settle for who you can get. Other factors also enter into the choices -- politics, favoritism, horse trading, rewards for past service, etc. It's a plum appointment for a younger son, or a knight from a minor house. Less so for the Great Houses. Also, Robert had five vacancies to fill all at once, an unusual situation -- imagine the nominations we might get if six of the nine members of the Supreme Court all died within a few months. -SSM, The Kingsguard: 22 May 1999
Boros is described as fat and bald/nearly bald:
Two of the Kingsguard had come north with King Robert. Bran had watched them with fascination, never quite daring to speak to them. Ser Boros was a bald man with a jowly face, and Ser Meryn had droopy eyes and a beard the color of rust. -AGOT, Bran II
Ser Boros was an ugly man with a broad chest and short, bandy legs. His nose was flat, his cheeks baggy with jowls, his hair grey and brittle. Today he wore white velvet, and his snowy cloak was fastened with a lion brooch. The beast had the soft sheen of gold, and his eyes were tiny rubies. "You look very handsome and splendid this morning, Ser Boros," Sansa told him. A lady remembered her courtesies, and she was resolved to be a lady no matter what. -AGOT, Sansa IV
Boros is originally "Cersei's creature":
Ser Boros and Ser Meryn are the queen's creatures to the bone, and I have deep suspicions of the others. No, my lord, when the swords come out in earnest, you will be the only true friend Robert Baratheon will have." -AGOT, Eddard VII
But she does strip him of his cloak (but he later testifies on her behalf):
Cersei had stripped Ser Boros of his white cloak for failing to die in the defense of Prince Tommen when Bronn had seized the boy on the Rosby road. The man was no friend of Tyrion's, but after that he likely hated Cersei almost as much. I suppose that's something. "Blount is a blustering coward," he said amiably. -ASOS, Tyrion II
Blount himself came next, to echo that sorry tale. Whatever mislike Ser Boros might harbor toward Cersei for dismissing him from the Kingsguard, he said the words she wanted all the same. -ASOS, Tyrion IX
Used by Joffrey to hurt Sansa
Those were Joffrey's gifts as well. When they told him that Robb had been proclaimed King in the North, his rage had been a fearsome thing, and he had sent Ser Boros to beat her.
"Shall we go?" Ser Arys offered his arm and she let him lead her from her chamber. If she must have one of the Kingsguard dogging her steps, Sansa preferred that it be him. Ser Boros was short-tempered, Ser Meryn cold, and Ser Mandon's strange dead eyes made her uneasy, while Ser Preston treated her like a lackwit child. Arys Oakheart was courteous, and would talk to her cordially. Once he even objected when Joffrey commanded him to hit her. He did hit her in the end, but not hard as Ser Meryn or Ser Boros might have, and at least he had argued. The others obeyed without question . . . except for the Hound, but Joff never asked the Hound to punish her. He used the other five for that. -ACOK, Sansa I
Ser Meryn Trant seized Dontos by the arm and flung him brusquely away. The red-faced fool went sprawling, broomstick, melon, and all. Ser Boros seized Sansa.
"Leave her face," Joffrey commanded. "I like her pretty."
Boros slammed a fist into Sansa's belly, driving the air out of her. When she doubled over, the knight grabbed her hair and drew his sword, and for one hideous instant she was certain he meant to open her throat. As he laid the flat of the blade across her thighs, she thought her legs might break from the force of the blow. Sansa screamed. Tears welled in her eyes. It will be over soon. She soon lost count of the blows.
"Enough," she heard the Hound rasp.
"No it isn't," the king replied. "Boros, make her naked."
Boros shoved a meaty hand down the front of Sansa's bodice and gave a hard yank. The silk came tearing away, baring her to the waist. Sansa covered her breasts with her hands. She could hear sniggers, far off and cruel. "Beat her bloody," Joffrey said, "we'll see how her brother fancies—" -ACOK, Sansa III
"That one is nothing to fear, girl." The Hound laid a heavy hand on her shoulder. "Paint stripes on a toad, he does not become a tiger." -ACOK, Sansa II
On numerous occasions, Boras shows his cowardice, primarily surrendering Tommen without a fight:
He supposed he ought not complain. The appointment gave him another ear close to the king, unbeknownst to his sister. And even if Ser Osmund proved an utter craven, he would be no worse than Ser Boros Blount, currently residing in a dungeon at Rosby. Ser Boros had been escorting Tommen and Lord Gyles when Ser Jacelyn Bywater and his gold cloaks had surprised them, and had yielded up his charge with an alacrity that would have enraged old Ser Barristan Selmy as much as it did Cersei; a knight of the Kingsguard was supposed to die in defense of the king and royal family. His sister had insisted that Joffrey strip Blount of his white cloak on the grounds of treason and cowardice. And now she replaces him with another man just as hollow. -ACOK, Tyrion XI
But we see him get "owned" or back down from the following characters:
  • Barristan
Sansa heard someone gasp. Ser Boros and Ser Meryn moved forward to confront him, but Ser Barristan froze them in place with a look that dripped contempt. -AGOT, Sansa V
  • The Hound
"The Sworn Brothers of the Kingsguard have always been knights," Ser Boros said firmly.
"Until now," the Hound said in his deep rasp, and Ser Boros fell silent. -AGOT, Sansa V
  • Jorah Mormont
"I fight as well as any man, Khaleesi, but I have never been a tourney knight. Yet with Lynesse's favor knotted round my arm, I was a different man. I won joust after joust. Lord Jason Mallister fell before me, and Bronze Yohn Royce. Ser Ryman Frey, his brother Ser Hosteen, Lord Whent, Strongboar, even Ser Boros Blount of the Kingsguard, I unhorsed them all. -ACOK, Daenerys I
  • Bronn
"The sort who serves his king, Imp." Ser Boros raised his sword, and Ser Meryn stepped up beside him, his blade scraping clear of its scabbard.
"Careful with those," warned the dwarf's sellsword. "You don't want to get blood all over those pretty white cloaks." -ACOK, Sansa III
  • Tyrion
Ser Boros Blount harrumphed. "No man threatens His Grace in the presence of the Kingsguard."
Tyrion Lannister raised an eyebrow. "I am not threatening the king, ser, I am educating my nephew. Bronn, Timett, the next time Ser Boros opens his mouth, kill him." The dwarf smiled. "Now that was a threat, ser. See the difference?" -ACOK, Sansa III
  • The Hound (again)
Ser Boros lifted his visor. "Ser, where—"
"Fuck your ser, Boros. You're the knight, not me. I'm the king's dog, remember?"
"The king was looking for his dog earlier." -ACOK, Sansa II
  • Tyrion (again)
Tyrion had stomached all he cared to. "The Others take your fucking cloaks! Take them off if you're afraid to wear them, you bloody oaf . . . but find me Sansa Stark or I swear, I'll have Shagga split that ugly head of yours in two to see if there's anything inside but black pudding."
Ser Boros went purple with rage. "You would call me ugly, you?" He started to raise the bloody sword still clutched in his mailed fist. Bronn shoved Tyrion unceremoniously behind him. -ACOK, Tyrion IX
  • Jaclyn Bywater (and the gold cloaks)
  • Cersei
Cersei reared up like a viper. "Your place is where my brother says it is," she spit. "The Hand speaks with the king's own voice, and disobedience is treason."
Boros and Meryn exchanged a look. "Should we wear our cloaks, Your Grace?" Ser Boros asked.
"Go naked for all I care. It might remind the mob that you're men. They're like to have forgotten after seeing the way you behaved out there in the street." -ACOK, Tyrion IX
  • Jaime
Jaime smiled. "I agree. I am as unfit to guard the king as you are. So draw that sword you're fondling, and we shall see how your two hands fare against my one. At the end one of us will be dead, and the Kingsguard will be improved." He rose. "Or, if you prefer, you may return to your duties." -ASOS, Jaime IX
Martial Ability
Jaime at least considers him an adequate fighter:
Jaime had served with Meryn Trant and Boros Blount for years; adequate fighters, but Trant was sly and cruel, and Blount a bag of growly air. Ser Balon Swann was better suited to his cloak, and of course the Knight of Flowers was supposedly all a knight should be. The fifth man was a stranger to him, this Osmund Kettleblack. – ASOS, Jaime VIII
Cersei intends for Boros to be Margaery's champion:
"Boros the Belly?" Ser Osmund chortled. "He's what, forty? Fifty? Half-drunk half the time, fat even when he's sober. If he ever had a taste for battle, he's lost it. Aye, Your Grace, if Ser Boros wants for killing, Osney could do it easy enough. Why? Has Boros done some treason?" -AFFC, Cersei VIII
Current Status Boros has been relegated to Tommen's food taster:
"Whoever did it," he told them, "Joffrey is dead, and the Iron Throne belongs to Tommen now. I mean for him to sit on it until his hair turns white and his teeth fall out. And not from poison." Jaime turned to Ser Boros Blount. The man had grown stout in recent years, though he was big-boned enough to carry it. "Ser Boros, you look like a man who enjoys his food. Henceforth you'll taste everything Tommen eats or drinks."
Ser Osmund Kettleblack laughed aloud and the Knight of Flowers smiled, but Ser Boros turned a deep beet red. "I am no food taster! I am a knight of the Kingsguard!"
"Sad to say, you are." Cersei should never have stripped the man of his white cloak. But their father had only compounded the shame by restoring it. "My sister has told me how readily you yielded my nephew to Tyrion's sellswords. You will find carrots and pease less threatening, I hope. When your Sworn Brothers are training in the yard with sword and shield, you may train with spoon and trencher. Tommen loves applecakes. Try not to let any sellswords make off with them."
"You should have died before you let Tommen be taken."
"As you died protecting Aerys, ser?" Ser Boros lurched to his feet, and clasped the hilt of his sword. "I won't . . . I won't suffer this. You should be the food taster, it seems to me. What else is a cripple good for?"
Jaime smiled. "I agree. I am as unfit to guard the king as you are. So draw that sword you're fondling, and we shall see how your two hands fare against my one. At the end one of us will be dead, and the Kingsguard will be improved." He rose. "Or, if you prefer, you may return to your duties."
"Bah!" Ser Boros hawked up a glob of green phlegm, spat it at Jaime's feet, and walked out, his sword still in its sheath.
The man is craven, and a good thing. Though fat, aging, and never more than ordinary, Ser Boros could still have hacked him into bloody pieces. But Boros does not know that, and neither must the rest. They feared the man I was; the man I am they'd pity. -ASOS, Jaime IX
Jaime later thinks on how he should kill Boros:
The Knight of Flowers had been so mad with grief for Renly that he had cut down two of his own Sworn Brothers, but it had never occurred to Jaime to do the same with the five who had failed Joffrey. He was my son, my secret son . . . What am I, if I do not lift the hand I have left to avenge mine own blood and seed? He ought to kill Ser Boros at least, just to be rid of him. -ASOS, Jaime IX
Which could potentially be one of the upcoming fights/duels in King's Landing, especially since Jaime has been getting better with his left hand
It should be noted that GRRM originally had Boros dying in AFFC and had Arys Oakheart surviving:
The two main differences I recall from that draft are that Arys Oakheart surrenders along with Arianne rather than getting killed, and that Boros Blount is described looking increasingly ill and dies by the end of the partial manuscript (I think Cersei wonders about poisoning -- remember, Jaime made him food taster for Tommen -- but the description of what was happening to him suggested GRRM intended readers to understand that he was suffering from congestive heart failure). - Elio's comments
It remains to be seen if GRRM still intends Boros to die of heart failture of if he might involve something else.
After being named Tommen's food taster at the end of ASOS we see Boros' health start to deteriorate (as if he wasn't already in bad health):
But no sooner had one Kingsguard departed than another one returned. Ser Boros Blount was red-faced and puffing from his headlong rush up the steps. "Gone," he panted, when he saw the queen. He sank to one knee. "The Imp . . . his cell's open, Your Grace . . . no sign of him anywhere . . ." -AFFC, Cersei I
A knight of the Kingsguard was always posted outside the doors of the council chambers when the small council was in session. Today it was Ser Boros Blount. "Ser Boros," the queen said pleasantly, "you look quite grey this morning. Something you ate, perchance?" Jaime had made him the king's food taster. A tasty task, but shameful for a knight. Blount hated it. His sagging jowls quivered as he held the door for them. -AFFC, Cersei IV
Ser Boros Blount was in attendance on the boy king and his mother when Ser Kevan entered the royal chambers. Blount wore enameled scale, white cloak, and halfhelm. He did not look well. Of late Boros had grown notably heavier about the face and belly, and his color was not good. And he was leaning against the wall behind him, as if standing had become too great an effort for him.
Supper began with beef-and-barley soup, followed by a brace of quail and a roast pike near three feet long, with turnips, mushrooms, and plenty of hot bread and butter. Ser Boros tasted every dish that was set before the king. A humiliating duty for a knight of the Kingsguard, but perhaps all Blount was capable of these days … and wise, after the way Tommen's brother had died. -ADWD, Epilogue
Thoughts/Theories Boros is probably going to die in The Winds of Winter. And the most likely was is probably just heart failure but I thought of a few other things that should be noted as well.
Keep in mind of characters who we know seem to hate Boros like the Lannister siblings, we get their thoughts in the POVs and while GRRM has hidden character actions in a POV before (Dany selling Drogon) it creates some issues and I doubt any of them are killing him.
Tyene Sand
Tyene is on her way to King's Landing and learned about poison from her father. That said it seems like Boros is already "dying". So if Tyene kills him, she hasn't started yet.
We know that Boros is used by Joffrey/Cersei to punish people and while the Kettleblacks seem to be the ones who whipped Yaya, Boros could have been involved.
We also know Boros visits brothels:
"There have always been men who found it easier to speak vows than to keep them," he admitted. Ser Boros Blount was no stranger to the Street of Silk, and Ser Preston Greenfield used to call at a certain draper's house whenever the draper was away, but Arys would not shame his Sworn Brothers by speaking of their failings. "Ser Terrence Toyne was found abed with his king's mistress," he said instead. "'Twas love, he swore, but it cost his life and hers, and brought about the downfall of his House and the death of the noblest knight who ever lived." -AFFC, The Soiled Knight
And that Yaya could have learned a bit about poison:
"At Chataya's I bedded the black-skinned girl. Alayaya, I believe she is called. Exquisite, despite the stripes on her back. -ASOS, Tyrion IX
So the working theory on this one would be that similar to what Oberyn did with the slowing of the poison for the Mountain, Yaya did the same thing with whatever poison she is using to Boros.
This is a pretty weak connection, but we know there are poisonous mushrooms in the ASOIAF world (Tyrion finds some at Illyrio's manse and later uses them to kill Nurse). We see Boros taste test mushrooms:
Supper began with beef-and-barley soup, followed by a brace of quail and a roast pike near three feet long, with turnips, mushrooms, and plenty of hot bread and butter. Ser Boros tasted every dish that was set before the king.
Yet only Boros is getting sick and not Tommen. The only retort I could think to that is the fact that Tommen hates beets. Maybe he doesn't eat mushrooms either.
It should also be noted that a maester with antidotes stays near Tommen/Boros:
Nor did Jaime help her mood when he turned up all in white and still unshaven, to tell her how he meant to keep her son from being poisoned. "I will have men in the kitchens watching as each dish is prepared," he said. "Ser Addam's gold cloaks will escort the servants as they bring the food to table, to make certain no tampering takes place along the way. Ser Boros will be tasting every course before Tommen puts a bite into his mouth. And if all that should fail, Maester Ballabar will be seated in the back of the hall, with purges and antidotes for twenty common poisons on his person. Tommen will be safe, I promise you." -AFFC, Cersei III
Dance of the Dragons II
I think Boros will be long dead before the second Dance, but this is worth noting:
Ser Boros and Ser Meryn sat to his right, leaving an empty chair between them for Ser Arys Oakheart, off in Dorne. Ser Osmund, Ser Balon, and Ser Loras took the seats to his left. The old and the new. Jaime wondered if that meant anything. There had been times during its history where the Kingsguard had been divided against itself, most notably and bitterly during the Dance of the Dragons. Was that something he needed to fear as well? -ASOS, Jaime IX
Out of all of the theories I considered, I like the Alayaya one the best. Feel free to let me know any other ideas you have, or just point out how much Boros sucks in the comments lol.
There are a decent amount of characters who have the means to kill Boros, but most seem to lack the motive. He is a terrible person, but the characters who might want him dead either are no longer in the area, aren't capable of killing him or we get their thoughts and there is no mention.
TLDR: Boros is looking increasingly worse and should die in TWOW. There are several potential possibilities of him being poisoned already.
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2020.11.15 22:02 Petyr_Strong Hidden naked men

The position of master of Whispers is one of the strangest compared to other positions of the small council regarding the amount of time in existence, members selected, and institutional organization. Unlike other small council positions, it wasn’t created by Aegon The Conqueror it was created by his second son Maegor the Cruel. It had its unofficial founding when the people of the Red Keep and King’s Landing started to call Tyanna of the Tower the “Mistress of Whispers” (which has a double meaning Mistress being simultaneously the feminine for Master and a synonym for lover, which Tyanna was before getting married to the king). It always maintained a semi unofficial character with many de facto holders of the position refusing to take the official title.
The Master of whispers unlike other “Masters” have no default bureaucracy all their power comes from the webs of agents they build and are entirely personal. It also occurs to me that they have very little supervision from the Hand or the King; having a lot of freedom to conspire against the crown if they want. Being in the Small council appointed by the King they seem to be legally capable of whatever they want unless it goes against a direct order of the king or it is treason. Or at least they can do whatever they want even do it is illegal with no reprisal from the king, at least until it is known when the King would have plausible deniability (this question was a source of Debate in the Learned Hands Podcast in a great episode when they invited Joe Magician)
This position is the one that has fewer individual members (even counting unofficial ones), and they held the title for very little time. Counting only when they use the title it sums up to 47 years and if you add the Rego Draz, and Bloodraven’s period as Hand it increases to 80 years. In any case, it is an amazingly small number if we compare it to the 300 years that the small council has existed. This is probably because the Lords and Kings of Westeros consider the espionage as unhonourable and cowardly, with most of the time the title being held by women, bastards, and foreigners with one great exception being Larys Strong but I would talk about him later. Another reason might be that most Masters of Whispers were very unpopular so Kings might want to avoid this bad image of their predecessors. For Example, Jahaerys wanting to distance himself from the rule of his Uncle, and Aegon V and Jahaerys II wanting to avoid the image of being control by their Master of Whispers like Aerys I. Most masters of Whispers served in moments of war or crisis (Rego Draz, for example, started to act like a spymaster after Elisa Farman stole the dragon eggs) and in the Reigns of especially paranoid Kings. All of this makes how Larys Strong and Varys held the title in relatively peaceful times with lazy Kings so rare.
So, if the position is so unpopular, dangerous, and rare why have it in the first place? Why don’t simply use external spymasters that do not sit in the small council? First of all, we have two examples of the latter option with Qyburn with Kevan and Lady Mysaria with Rhaneyrha. But the position has its advantages: it puts fear in your enemies and avoids possible plots against you, for example, Doran Martell being so afraid of Varys he makes his daughter rebel against him, and it also gives the Westerosi Lords a false sense of security. Cersei believes when she appoints Qyburn and he gains a lot of Varys former contacts that the spies come with the position, it has been suggested that like most things Cersei thinks that it is BS with Varys little birds remaining loyal to him. But Cersei is more comfortable with this idea.
I will now pass to analyze the individual master of whispers. Considering what they added to the position, there use of magic, how loyal they truly were to their respective king’s and other particularities
Queen Tyanna of the Tower (42-48 a.ac. 6 years): Tyanna was the bastard daughter of a Pentoshi magister (being simultaneously a woman, bastard, and foreigner) that worked like a tavern dancer. She turned into the paramour of Prince Maegor and Alys Harroway when they were exiled in Pentos. She came back with Alys in 42 a. c. after Maegor usurped the Throne and it has been theorized that she helped Visenya to revive Maegor after his trial by seven. She married the King in the same year and started to serve in the small council. At this moment people started to call her Mistress of whispers, which has a double meaning like I already explained, she probably fed Maegor with information that increases his paranoia. We also know of several cases of overseeing the torture of political prisoners like Prince Viserys and Alys Harroway. She tries to be Maegor’s right hand in political matters, but they rarely share a bed in later years. It was rumoured that she was a witch that talked with rats and spiders, the truth of this is questionable with several other powerful women in Westeros being called witches by their enemies. What is true is that she created a web of spies and informants in the Red Keep and King’s Landing, but it doesn’t seem that it extended very far. The only grand-scale conspiracy she avoided was the rise of Aegon The Uncrowned because several lords sent ravens to Queen Alyssa Velaryon. She was killed by Maegor himself after she confessed under the threat of torture that she had poisoned his son in the womb. This would show that she wasn’t that loyal to Maegor himself; she simply saw him as a way to gain power.
Rego Draz (50-59 a.c. 9 years): He was a pentoshi merchant of very humble origins, the reason why he wasn’t allowed to be a Magister. That is why he accepted to be King Jahaerys’ Master of Coin. This being an essay about The Masters of Whispers and not of the coin I would not talk a lot about his financial management of the Realm but it must be said that he was one of the best ones we know of. He was still very unpopular because of his foreign origin, his strange faith, and the rumours he was corrupt. These rumours were probably lying because he was much wealthier than the Throne, and the King have him in great esteem. He acted as Master of Whispers after Elisa Farman stole the Dragon eggs “paying good money to bad men'' to learn as much as possible of possible buyers and be prepared. He uses these same agents to ask about the whereabouts of Aerea and Balerion. There is no mention of him using magic like his predecessor, but it seems that he was much more loyal and thankful to Jahaerys. He was killed by a mob during the epidemic known as the shivers and Jahaerys took a great effort to avenge his death. It must be mentioned that Rego shares great parallelism with Ilyrio and maybe we will see Ilyrio’s story ending similarly.
Lord Larys Strong Unknown 127(at least)-131 a.c. four years minimum: Larys Strong “the Clubfoot” is unique among the Masters of whispers, he is the only one of them that is the true born son of a Westerosi Lord and even held the title of Lord of a great castle, like Harrenhal while sitting in the Council. He was the first person to officially use the title of Master of Whispers, as well as the title of Lord Confessor. He did have a condition that makes him unfit to fulfil the traditional knightly role being born with one twisted foot, so he dedicated himself to torture and espionage from an early age. He came to the city with his brother and sisters when his father was named Master of Law and he started to work with the royal confessors. House Strong rose quite high with his father replacing ser Otto Hightower as Hand and his brother Ser Harwin “the Bonebreaker” becoming Rhaneyra’s lover (and probable father of his children). Both his brother and father (and maybe his sister that aren’t mentioned anymore) died in a fire at Harrenhal when they were sent away by the king to stop the rumours of his grandson's parenting.
Several theories have been put. That it was caused by Harrenahal ghosts or it could be that Harrrenhal curse is enacted by real human beings. That it was king Viserys, I find it strange because he didn’t do anything about all his succession problems and he seems to like Lyonel enough to name him Hand. Even that it was Larys Strong to transform in lord of Harrenhal this seems to be prejudiced against his physical condition, I don’t think this is true at all, Larys don’t seem to care about Harrenhal at all he realizes that his true powers come from the spies, he names a castellan and not even cares when it is taken if his brother turns into the Lord he would also support his political career in KL. The last one has been Daemon Targaryen, he would have killed Harwin to get near to Rhaneyra and her claim to the Iron Throne, it is also implied he kills Laenor Rhaneyra’s husband, so I see it as the most likely suspect.
The Clubfoot is named master of whispers sometime before 128 a. c. (maybe he was already Master of Whispers at this point, but it seems unlikely), I said that it was pretty strange to name a Master of whispers in times of peace especially with such a lazy king so I think he already started creating a web of spies when his father was hand to help him in all the factions that were forming in court. When ser Otto was renamed Hand and realize of Lary’s influence he decided to add him to his cause naming him Master of Whispers to help support the claim of his grandson in the future.
When the Dance of the Dragons started Larys was part of the Green council and proposed a blood oath to defend Aegon II claims (it is clear that Lary’s true loyalty belongs to it only to himself and I would probably write an essay about his motivation). At the start of the war Daemon Targaryen took Harrenhal with Caraxes and Larys didn’t seem to care. He continued acting like Master of Whispers and Lord Confessor for the Greens. He tortured Blood after the Blood and Cheese incident, probably learning new passages around the Red Keep. When Rhaneyra took King’s Landing Larys disappeared through these passages and send the King to Dragonstone and his heirs to Storms’ end and the Reach. Without knowing these Prince Aemond thought he was a traitor and killed every other Strong when retaking Harrenhal. He remains hidden during Rhaneyra’s short Reign over KL spreading rumors to adermin her when she left, the city he used Ser Perkin the Flea (most likely one of his agents) to take the Red Keep with his pretender. He joins the new pretender Trystane Truefyre until Lord Borros Baratheon arrives; he then negotiates with him to surrender the city, name Ser Perkin Commander of the City watch, kill Trystane, and promise to marry Lady Floris daughter of Borros. As part of the agreement, they pardon Corlys Velaryon to gain his fleet (Larys proposes to kill him quietly if he wasn’t useful later). Corlys presented his contra offer and the Queen Alicent almost refused if it wasn’t by the sweet words of The Clubfoot. After the defeat at the Battle of the Kingsroad, “The Sea Snake” proposes a peace agreement naming Aegon the younger (later Aegon III) Aegon II heir. The King and his mother were horrified and proposed killing him on the spot, Larys instead proposed to poison him. Then he went with Corlys to convince him the King wanted to kill him and get his help to make a coup. Lord Larys ruled the city with Corlys after the Riverland’s army arrived in the name of Aegon II. When Cregan Stark arrived and put all the conspirators for killing the King on trial Larys simply said “When was a wolf ever moved by words?” and accepted his destiny not even asking to go to the Wall like the rest of the conspirators. He is probably one of the most mysterious characters in all of the books and we will probably not know anything else from him in the books (I hope he is properly adapted in a House of Dragons and we learned more things), he is my favorite historical character, and I don’t see any better way of closing this that with a quote of Mushroom “Was there ever a man as devious as the Clubfoot? Oh, he would have made a splendid fool, that one. The words dripped from his lips like honey from a comb, and never did poison taste so sweet.”
Lady Mysaria 130 a.c. 1 year: Mysraia of Lys was a sex worker and dancer of Lys, also, known by her rivals like “Lady Misery” or “The White worm”. She turned into prince Daemon's favourite partner when he was acting as Lord Commander of the Gold Cloaks, and he even took her over to Dragonstone when he was exiled by his brother. She got pregnant by him and was gifted with a dragon egg for the future baby. When king Viserys found out he ordered his brother to exile the White Worm and recovered the egg, she suffered an involuntary abortion at the sea when she was traveling to Lys. We knew nothing about her for several years until the start of the Dance of the Dragons. After Prince Aemond killed Lucerys Velaryon, Rhaneyra wanted revenge so it was Daemon who ordered Lady Misery to take revenge killing one of Aegon II's sons. Lady misery, that had recently returned to the city, was in charge of the specifics of hiring a former gold cloak (Blood) and a former rat-catcher (Cheese) to do the did. The story of how Blood and Cheese forced the Queen to choose one of his sons and then killed the other is probably known by all of you. The White worm wasn’t found, but not for lack of will, it is said the Gold Cloaks look in every brothel, but either she was very good at hiding or they were still loyal to the Rogue Prince.
She started to act as unofficial Mistress of Whispers when Rhaneyra took the city, never actually sitting in the small council but reporting to it or Rhaenyra in private. She, also, restarted her sexual affair with the new King consort with the Queen’s approval. She extended her web through all the city and the Red Keep and fed the Queen with rumors that increased her paranoia. At this time she is started to use like a boogieman for the historian, with both Septon Eustance and Mushroom attributing to her all sort of horrific stories: that she proposes to tern Queen Alicent and Queen Helaena into whores, and that she cause Helana’s suicide by telling her the story of her sons, Maelor, death. After Ulf the White and Hugh The Hammer betray the Blacks at the battle of Tubleton Queen Rhaneyra called the White Worm to the council to ask her about nettles loyalty, the Mistress of Whispers answer that she was having an affair with Daemon and would probably betray her. At this moment Lady Misery abandoned her loyalty to Dameon, maybe feeling betrayed by him (which is rare considering that Dameon always looks the company of other women and maidens, which could support the theory Nettie wasn’t his lover, but his daughter), and sided with Rhaneyra. The white worm unmasked a conspiracy to free Corly Velaryon, but she was left in the Red Keep when Rhaneyra left the city. When ser Perkin took the city (probably under the patronage of Lord Larys) Lady misery was subdued to walk naked along with the city (like Cersei). But she was also whipped and suffered the full anger of the people, so she didn’t make it. There is no mention of her using magic (strange considering how often it is said about foreign women) and her webs didn't seem to go beyond the city. In my opinion, she was at the beginning very loyal to Damon because of their love, but later she just followed Rhaneyra under a purely utilitarian objective of earning power and status.
Brynden “Bloodraven'' Rivers Unknown-209 a.c. (serving as advisomaster of whispers) 209-233 a.c. (serving as hand keeping his spymaster role): He was the man that revolutionaries the position changing the scale of his web and how high he rose. The ironic thing is that he is never said in the books to be the Master of Whispers; we just know he sits in the Small Council and he then was Hand. Bloodraven was the bastard son of King Aegon IV Targaryen and his mistress Melissa Blackwood, he left the capital at a young age when her mother was replaced by another bracken mistress, but he probably kept some of his mother’s friends there. His mother was reputed to have even been friends with the Queen herself. Brynden was invited by the New King Daeron the Good with all his half-brothers, it was at this moment that he probably started his love for Shirera Seastra and his rivalry with Aegor Bittersteel. It is unknown his relationship with Daemon Blackfyre, but I think they had a good relationship like Daemon seemed to have with everyone. This did not avoid Brynden from denouncing a possible plan to rebel against the Targaryen from Daemon and Aegor. He probably started to serve as an advisor (and unofficial Master of Whispers) shortly after this, considering my logic that this position is usually filled during, or near a great war. He remained loyal to the Red Dragon during all the War with his main intervention were the leading of the Crow’s Teeth in the Battle of the Red Grass killing Daemon Blackfyre, which earned him the nickname the “Kinslayer”. He served for several more years in the small Council Advising the most ruthless policies against the Crown’s foes.
When King Aerys I rose to the throne after his father’s death he named Brynden his Hand. He named him over his brother probably because of the shared love of the study of the higher mysteries. Bloodraven's rule as Hand is one of the longest in history and he was as ruthless as he could. The main conflicts he needed to face were: the great spring sickness, that he solved by forcing the people to don’t leave there regions and burning all the corpses of KL; then he suffered a drought that lasted more than a year (draught that his enemies blame him for because of his kinslaying); he then successfully defeated the second Blackfyre rebellion thanks to his webs of information; he advises in favour of killing Bitersteel after he was captured in Third Blackfyre Rebellion, and when Maekar Die (the king that he also served despite the rumoured animosity between the two of them) he call a Great council, killing a Blackfyre claimed he had promised safe conduct. For this act, he was exiled to the Wall where most of his men follow him for shire loyalty. He was the first Master of Whispers that extended his web beyond just the City, or the Crown Land, creating one that extended to all of Westeros and maybe also Essos, or at least he extended the notion he did which terrorized his enemies. What I mean with him revolutionizing the position is that there is no way that Varys considered making such an intelligence web without Bloodraven doing something similar before.
The level of magic he uses in this web is unknown, maybe he just could warg inside crow to be able to intercept messages, or greensee but not at will, what is clear is that he was able to glamor himself (like when he probably disguised as ser Maynard Plumm). He was unable to repress a Grehjoy rebellion during his rule because he wanted to keep his defenses in case of a possible Attack from Bittersteel. Like I already say he changes the traditional roles related to the Master of Whispers position, he was a bastard that made him form a lower station that true Westerosi nobles, but he was also a knight, he leads his company of archers and later entire armies. He also rose above being just a spymaster turning into a capable administrator that ruled the realm for decades maintaining his resources as Master of whispers when doing so. He is also one of the rare cases when a Master of Whispers was truly loyal to the kings he served this was because of his hatred of the Blackfyres and Bittersteeel, he did try to gain more power, but I think he did so because he thought it was for the best of the Targaryens and the Realm.
Varys “The Spider'' ~278-300 22 years at least: The Lyssenne Eunuch is the Master of Whispers during most of the main series. He grew up with a mummer troop where he learned how to act and disguise, abilities that would help him later on in life, he was sold to a sorcerer that cut his cock and let him to die in the streets. He created an alliance with a bravo called Ilyrio and soon started selling steel objects back to their owners. He later started training orphan kids into stealing secrets and selling them, he got such fame that was called upon by the King of Westeros. After the defiance of Duskendale, King Aerys was very paranoid, and Varys just fed him with more rumours that supported this. He gained lots of enemies in the court, but even after Robert’s Rebellion, he was pardoned. This doesn’t make a lot of sense; it probably talks about how good Varys is at doing his job. He kept himself useful during all the Reign of Robert and Joffrey giving information to everybody and remaining an Allie of all. His main asset is information so he gives the right information to the different players to accelerate his plans, like when he informs on Dany’s wedding so that Robert orders her assassination and this makes Drogo promise to invade Westeros. For most of the series, Varys keeps repeating that all he does is for the good of the Realm and the smallfolk, but this is more than dubious. Plans such as organizing a Dothraki conquest of Westeros and killing Kevan specifically to make the Realm more unstable do not seem to be in the best interest of the people or cutting the tongue of his “Little Birds''. It has been largely debated about Varys' true loyalist (Blackfyre, Brightflame or just doing all for selfish reasons) I think mainly for meta and thematic reasons that he actually believes in the greater good of the Realm. He probably has some personal reasons to support Young Griff, but I think he has convinced himself that supporting him is the best long-term plan. I find that it is much more interesting for a guy that has taken the end to justify the means in the most sincere way (not like Tywin that just wanted the best for his House or himself) to a point in which it is indefensible. He planned to create a civil war to sit a kid on the Throne that may not be that good of a king and to do that he sabotaged Kings that could do better.
During most of the series, he was training to avoid war reacting to Littlefinger's plans to start one. He did this not for the good of the Realm, but because Young Griff’s forces are not prepared to take Westeros yet. When the war continues, he adapts his plans (one of Varys greatest virtues), he starts working to create more chaos. For example, he frees Tyrion (and later sends him to be an advisor to (f) Aegon) to later manipulate him to kill his father, but he remains in the Red Keep undermining the Lannister regime. I won’t describe all of his plans but if you want to see them in detail I recommend an essay of BryndenBFish and Radio Westeros episode holy dedicated to it, I will just say he has a great ability to adapt according to the changing situation.
Like I already said his origin story involves being castrated by a wizard, so he has professed great hatred to magic for a long time. I think this story is true (there was no reason to lie to Tyrion about it) and that he generally holds true to his promise not using magic to extends his web. Varys is one of the more interesting characters of the story and I cannot cover him enough in this essay so I would recommend you read more analyses of him by better creators.
Qyburn 300a.c.-Present: We know little about Qybrun’s life; he was probably born a peasant or maybe at some port city. What we know is that he joined the Citadel and transformed into a Maestre. But he wanted to know more about the nature of life and death so instead of just opening dead bodies he started opening living ones, for this crime he was stripped of his chain. He developed a hatred for the citadel and probably started working as an unofficial-Maestre. He joined the Bloody Mummers (the exact timing is unclear) a group that provided an almost unlimited amount of injured people he could cure, or experiment on. During the war of The Five Kings, he has transformed into the Maestre-like figure of the twisted castle that is Harrenahal, where he is rumor to be a necromancer. He helps Jaime heal his hand and accompany him back to the capital, where he tried to get his favour, according to Roose to regain his chain. What I find more likely is that he is looking for a new patron for his activities. He finds that patron in Cersei is content with how he helps her in several forms and advises her (most of the time he is just bootlicking her). He takes the roles of Grand Maestre, helping cures “The Mountain”; Master of Whispers; and royal torturer, for example, with the Blue Bard. He starts wearing a white robe to contrast with the grey one of the Maestre there are several instances of contrast between the grand Maestre providers of the “official” information throw crows and the Maesters of Whispers providers of the unofficial one. Cersei provides him victims, mainly young women as well as Gregor, and installations to his mad scientist experiments. His work as Master of Whispers is regular at best and horrible at worst most of his advice is quite stupid and there is certain evidence that most of Varys’ little birds are still loyal to him and are giving Qyburn wrong information. In the show, he rose to the position of Hand that is still possible in the books when he is still partially loyal to Cersei going to visit her in the sept, but he has one foot in each side already reporting to Kevan privately. Despite he is a great estudios of the Secret mysteries he doesn’t seem to use this knowledge for his position and his only result so far is being capable of reviving or at least maintaining alive the Mountain as Ser Robert Strong. In the matter of his loyalty he strikes me as most Masters and Mistress of Whispers he is loyal to Cersei because she provides him power and the resources to make his experiments. That makes him more dependent on Cersei because other people aren’t so willing to let him continue these experiments.
The Master of Whispers position has greatly involved in Westerosi History. From being a mostly unofficial position with only limited information mostly restrain to the Red Keep and King’s Landing, it evolved into information from both Westeros and Essos. Masters of Whispers have gained constantly more and more power as well as transforming themself into an essential part of the small Council functioning. It is hard to predict who will occupy the position at the end of the Books or if it would be necessary at all (considering Bran’s abilities). There are several other people that occupy spymaster roles that I did not mention such as Littlefinger, Lysonno Maar; and even Melissandre (not spies but fires in her case).
I always feel very attracted to this more obscure position and how it held so much power so if you have any extra thoughts on the subject put it in the comments. Remember English is not my first language so please excuse my grammar mistakes.
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2020.11.14 05:30 dontfearme22 Hidden naked men

A parade of carriages passed through the palace gateway. Each clacked and clattered on the cobbles of the capital streets, adding dissonant percussion to the usual din of the city. This noise crept to the high sandstone walls of the palace rising high above the city on a stone outcrop. Banners fixed to its walls flapped in the breeze, casting faint shadows over the winding convoy as it made its way to a wide and elegant shaded reception area. The interior courtyards were a maze of gardens and long pools of cool water. Underground pipes ensured they were kept full, evaporating into the air to artificially cool the grounds. A brass statue towered over the center of the reception area, where each carriage pulled to a halt and disgorged figures into a growing mass all around the entrance. They mingled under it, below a dead kings face etched in worn metal. The living empire scuttling in the shadow of its mythic past.
Each man wore stark white robes and caps. A formality, to mark the rare occasions when so many gentlemen of the empire meet at once. Servants bore umbrellas high above them. Each was colored according to the family it represented. They were as much outlets for competition as a language for those well-informed to determine the composition of the crowd. High above them, on one of many elegant stone balconies that studded the palaces face, two figures watched the crowd.
“Pay attention.” The Duke said, “now, you’ve studied this. Red and gold, with the stripes?” he asked. One hand rapped the stone rim of the balcony. A golden signet ring on his middle finger made a faint clack each time it hit the stone.
“The Guruns[gu-RUNs]” the boy replied. He answered quickly.
“And the white dragon, over there, by the column?” the Duke asked,
“Good. The silver beard, with the cane, he is..”
“Kean Raun?”
“Ke-on[key-ON]. Raun” the Duke said, “mind your pronunciation. Names are the gentleman’s greatest tool. Know them.”
“And his name above others, is an important one. He is the wealthiest man here”
“He has more than you?” the boy asked.
“Yes, but money is not everything. We each desire something the other alone possesses.” He continued. “I have business with him today. After the council, in the throne-room. I’ve brought you here because I want you with me.” He said.
The boys eyes widened. His hands nearly balled into fists, but he restrained himself. “Me?” he asked.
“You’ve passed your exams, you are of age. This is how you learn to become a man. My heir.” He said. He pulled out a small sundial from a breast-pocket and set it on the balcony rim. “The assembly is meeting soon. We will make an appearance.”
The Duke pressed his hand on the balcony and offered the other to the boy. He stood up slowly with audible effort. “My orb” he said, his breath short. The boy stepped to the other side of the balcony where a small glass pendant rested on a velvet cushion. It was pale blue, wrapped with gold and silver designs. A tiny metal fist clutched a metal chain. He handed it to the Duke, who slowly put it over his head. The moment the pendant settled around his neck it seemed to pulse with energy, slowly, matching his heartbeat. The Duke stood up straighter, his legs grew firmer, and he took his hand off the balcony at last. He strode past the boy. “Straighten that coat.” He said, throwing the doors open back into the palace.
Every chamber was occupied by small parties of men, attended to by a hive of servants that milled around with trays of sweets and tea-kettles. They all wore black, and so the entire event took on the appearance of a great board-game, and the people the pieces. It took a practiced player to know the proper strategy to pry knowledge from this game. There was no shortage of them here, but one stood above the rest. Watching, from a small slitted window embedded in the ceiling.
The Master of Spies, Menum[may-NUM]. He crouched behind it, paying close attention to the parties entering the room. It was the day of the chamber assembly, where all the powerful men in the nation gathered. A unique opportunity to renew the web of obligations that kept them in check, once they returned to their own holdings. He kept notes on who he saw in a little leather-bound book. Who wore what, how healthy did they look, who they spoke to first. It was written in a cipher of his own creation, a childhood hobby that proved useful in his career.
The Raun family had arrived, he noticed, but they didn’t speak to anyone just yet. Ruthless to a person, but practical. He had done much business for them in the past. Nasty work, but well worth it for their continued cooperation with the high council. He noted the slight shake of Keon Rauns hand on his walking stick. The old wolf had aged greatly in the last few years. Patriarch of the family, but for how long – and who would replace him? The soldier, Efaran[e-FAR-an], with his dusty riding boots, or Bima[bee-MA], second-eldest. Ever hungry for success like most second sons are, and ever lacking in subtly. From his vantage point Menum could hear the man boast on the verge of shouting. Clearly taking great pains to be larger than life.
More families entered. The mighty Guruns, masters of the arms factories. And the Ezabarans[e-za-BAR-an], sorcerors beyond equal. They’d sent their own spies, as was expected, ahead of time to case out the area, and they had done an adequate job of sweeping the palace. An ear-bird[magical listening device] under a table lamp, and one behind a statue. Sacrifices to give the amateurs a sense of confidence. It was best for the general state of things that the nobles believed they controlled the situation. They did never catch the one underneath the floor. Menum had trained to commune with ear-birds, and comprehend the stream of information that poured into ones mind as the device captured every noise around it. As he watched from above it whispered to him from below,
“-ill pass your ships through the warehouse guilds, but im taking 10%” one voice muttered.
“Tell the inspector I’ll have his approval on my estate or his head. One by the morning.”
“They say it was the stable-masters daughter. Yes naked. Out the back window apparently.”
A voice behind him. It was not from the ear-bird. Menum put its chatter aside in his mind to focus on this new interruption. “Pardon me Master, but Duke Neodan[knee-O-dan] is arriving” it said. He slid a wooden cover over the grated window and made his way downstairs. Menum passed through a shadowed hallway, one of many dating back to the palaces construction. A doppelganger building, created only to watch, and control, the first. Small hidden windows punctuated every several steps, each opening up into a separate room so that no space could be hidden from his watchers. He stopped another passing attendant coming the other way, “has the Master of Ships been seen?” he asked. “He took the tea, as you instructed. He has been in bed with the flushing sickness since.” The attendant responded. “Make sure he stays there.” Menum said. The attendant nodded. Menum patted him on the shoulder and sent him off. He entered the main palace floor through a discrete side door tucked in a corner. His dark blue robes struck a noticeably different chord than the white of the politicians. Menum made his way to the main chamber just as a tall man descended a staircase from the second level, a boy by his side. Few noticed at first, but gradually more faces turned as recognition rippled through the crowd.
The man did not wear the white robes of the rest of the crowd. As a member of the high council, he wore what he pleased, and so he retained the dress of a simpler time in his life. The tall leather boots of a soldier, and the green and grey suit that marked him as a sky-admiral. His shoulders were draped with a spotted pelt with long cloth tags affixed to it. Each was trimmed with gold, with inscriptions detailing a lifetime of military service. He swept them aside with his arms as he reached out to take another man’s hands.
“Sobusta[so-BUS-ta], my respects to your wife.” He said. The other man dipped his head low out of respect. “You honor me with your grace dear Duke.” He said. A crowd began to grow, jostling to greet him. The boy kept close to the Dukes side. He had grown tall enough that he was not as overwhelmed by the crowd as he used to be. The Duke took one hand and gently brought the boy forward. “my son, Zoran[zo-RAN]” he said. Sobusta took the boys hands in his own and nodded his head again. “You have grown Prince.” He turned again to the Duke. “Will the Prince attend us at the ceremonies, after the assembly? Perhaps at my family table?” he asked. The Duke replied, “Sadly we have business after. Another time.” He said. Sobustas’s offer rejected, he excused himself from the conversation, quickly replaced by a gaggle of other lesser nobles jockeying for favors.
Just then, a massive man shoved his way into the crowd. He wore white as the rest, but physically loomed over them. His chest was wide, with a square head and a shock of black hair. The Duke couldn’t help but break into a smile at the sight.
“Tossias[toes-SIAS], welcome back to the capital” he said. The two men embraced. “the robes of justice do you a dishonor. I’ll invite you to my villa, you may wear whatever you like then.” The Duke said.
Tossias chuckled, “Wouldn’t want to outshine you in your own home!” he replied.
“It is good to see the capital has not dulled you friend.” He looked at Zoran, “nor you little bear.” He said.
“I’d never allow it.” The Duke replied. “Tell me, where is your cousin? I expected I would see him.”
“The frontier” Tossias answered, “no shortage of bandits to chase these days”
“And no concern about rebels?”
“They’re the same to me. We have some in the family dungeon right now. Shabby things. Couldn’t tell one apart from a beggar, except the beggar might look better-fed.” Tossias said. He turned again to Zoran, “we always are in need of more soldiers. If you would let me have you for a war-season we’d make a glorious mess together.” He said.
The Duke smiled, “the Attarin[at-TA-rin] would have my head. He has grown fond of the Prince. But he will go someday. We have him in the pits everyday with the weapons master. Zoran, who did you study this week, Maklavili?[mak-LA-vili. a famous swordsman]” he asked.
Zoran seized the opportunity to impress. “All of his manuals. I’ve won my last four fights.” He said. The Duke did not make it obvious, but he was pleased by the answer. Zoran noticed the faintest of smiles creep across his face.
“You’ll have to make sure they put you up against one of the Raun boys. Give them a proper thrashing.” Tossias replied. The Spymaster, passing by, entered the conversation to interject,
“It surely is too early in the day to be planning fights.” He said. Tossias, who was never fond of the man, replied sharply,
“War doesn’t wait for the proper time. Those shits have had it coming for a while. Best hit them early, when they’re still sleeping off the wine of the night before.”
Menum played along, “Spoken like a true soldier. Little wonder you and his Highness make such good company” he said. Tossias for his part, continued to instigate things. “Spymaster, you know whats in everyones carriage.” He gestured at Bima Raun across the room. “Is it true that he screwed a bull?” he asked. Tossias had caught the attention of several others, thankfully men of little consequence, with his comments. “Or” Tossias turned outwards so they could hear better, “did the bull screw him?” He asked. Some of them laughed, others, better aware of their own position in the greater game, did not. Zoran couldn’t help but smile, till a stern look from the Duke set him straight. The Duke, deciding the damage had been done, ended things. “A fascinating rumor to be sure” he said, careful not to add ammunition. “I must attend to the council chamber. Always good to meet you friend” he said, and took Zoran away to the other side of the room. A bell rang out across the crowd. The assembly would begin soon.
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