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submitted by beitmenotyou to AutoModerator [link] [comments]


2018.10.29 03:01 DeterminedTogEToUT Live online cams nude chat free

Hello to all, throwaway account for obvious reasons. I am a female early thirties and my marriage at this point is a joke. I want to share my story here because I hope it will help some people.
I have been very HL (yea I know, weird compared to my title) and I had many relationships, both short term and long term. I got married twice. The first time lasted 6 years and I ended the marriage because my ex wanted kids, while I did not. The second time is with the man I am writing about today, let's call him K.
I met K online when I was 29 and it was a whirlwind romance. By far the best sex I ever had in my life. He is tall and attractive, to the point that he had been scouted by model agencies in the street (NOT bragging, his good looks make the whole thing even more bizarre). His family was living in a different country and I never had the chance to meet them in person before the wedding, but we were planning to go meet them once we settled in our new house and life.
The first big shock was when his mother called frantically to yell about the things he had purchased the last months. I was shocked and I found out she has a shared bank account with him and goes through all of his credit cards. After she was asked to stop the drama repeatedly without success, he opened a different bank account. His mother called me literally: a bad person, a bitch, a cultist who is brainwashing (!) her son and other names. I blocked her everywhere and told him that he is free to talk to her, but I am being no contact. Not even once he defended me or tried to set boundaries.
The second shock was his friends. I am in an interracial relationship and they repeatedly called him and advised him to dump me, his ex called him to get back together, they left harassing messages and lied to common friends saying that he is in danger and involved with a visa hunter. In the meantime, I haven't started visa processes even now 3 years into the marriage. I cut them all off and blocked them. Not even once he defended me and repeatedly talked to them behind my back.
He admitted in being a "goody 2 shoes" and said that he is not used to confrontation because "he tried it young with his parents and it didn't work".
The third shock was unexplained infertility. I had taken every prenatal test and one year into the marriage didn't get pregnant once. K has extremely bad sperm count and doctors told us that IVF is the only choice. While I have absolutely nothing against IVF and those who choose it, it was NOT something I wanted to do personally, and honestly speaking if I knew he was infertile I wouldn't have married him.
After that he became unemployed because he decided to quit his job to focus on his "gaming career". He was in his late 20s. If anyone thinks this was a stupid idea that would fail, you are 100% right. At this point I was so exhausted by the constant drama everyone around him was causing that I just stopped communicating because everything I said resulted to fighting. Sex was still good at this point, about 2-4 times a week.
After he became unemployed we started having problems with money. My salary wasn't enough and soon I had to cut down on everything I enjoyed to be able to pay bills. I stopped the gym, I stopped the hair salon, I stopped hanging out with friends. Even now I feel out of shape and unattractive. I isolated myself because I was embarrassed when people noticed and where asking what's going on and why I look sad and tired.
K didn't care AT ALL.
I tried consulting a lawyer and divorce in my country takes over one year, esp if it's only one spouse wanting it. Plus, I couldn't even afford it at this point.
I found out that K has been lying about a lot of things. He quit college, his parents were terribly abusive and he hid it from me, he had sexual encounters with a guy (again no issue with bisexuals, but I want to know if I am married to a bisexual) and most important he has what I think is "refusal to work syndrome".
The nail that sealed the coffin was when he suggested I do online sex work for money (selling nudes/ sex chats/camming etc). I told him that no decent man pimps his wife out and he said word by word "there is no other choice". "If he could work, he would but we live in a bad country that gives no opportunities".
I am not proud to say it, but I did it because I had to choose between being evicted and being a camgirl. At this point I am not the main bread winner, I am THE ONLY bread winner, holding down a normal job and a sex worker job.
He simply DOES NOT care. His day consists of waking up any time he likes, playing video games, eating, masturbating, watching movies, going to the super market, then calling it a day.
There is always a sob story about his past and he makes every topic about him. He emotionally abused me multiple times because I don't want to have sex with him anymore, he disgusts me and I want nothing to do with him. His family doesn't want him back.
I went from a successful, ambitious woman that takes care of herself to a trainwreck living a double life. He asked me yesterday "why can't we just stop fighting"?
In another occasion he said "you have been the person I wanted all of my life". I said "yea because who wouldn't want a live-in slave who works 2 jobs to exploy forever?"
Please don't recommend me councelling, I have been to a lot of it alone and I end up in situations like this because both my parents are narcissists and exploiters. I won't even bother wasting precious money for K in therapy because he sees himself as a victim and blames me for everything. He even said "I don't work because I am depressed because I know you don't love me".
I am not really LL deep down. I know it. I lost all desire for sex due to depression, feeling unkempt and unattractive and wanting nothing to do with this joke of a man. Having a penis doesn't make you a man. Your attitude does. His attitude is the most disgusting thing I even experienced.
I have a plan to get out no matter what and I am working on it. I just wanted to share this because I haven't seen emotional abuse being mentioned as a factor that created a dead bedroom. My marriage started with multiple orgasms and in 3 years it has devolved to nothingness.
If I let him be, I will waste my life. If I had one advice to give to someone I would say:
If your needs aren't met, get out. You can't negotiate empathy.
One day I will find a great man and he will have no effect in me!
submitted by DeterminedTogEToUT to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]


2014.12.03 20:39 TinderNoFap Online chat nude free cams live

Disclaimer #1: My addiction isn't to fapping; it is to pornography. I can fap once a day and be fine (albeit disgusted with myself afterwards) but the problem is the amount of hours I waste searching for the perfect thing to fap to. Whether it's cam-to-cam chatting and finding a milf to watch me wank or the perfect gilf video, I could spend hours ignoring my priorities (and hating myself as a result) until I finally get that nut off. Once I unload, I'm free, at least until the craving comes back the next day).
Disclaimer #2: My fetish is mature/milf/gilf. That's the only porn I watch, regardless of the medium.
So I was on my longest streak - five weeks without porn and feeling fantastic about myself. My anxiety was much lower, I wasn't feeling depressed or gloomy, and I was getting serious about my work and improving my life.
I had the Tinder App, but it was annoying swiping right all the time, plus my matches were mostly fugly, so I barely ever used it. Then I stumbled upon something called Botinder.
It allows you to use Tinder on your desktop; you press start and it autonomously swipes right on every chick until it runs out of matches. A pervasive thought soon entered my brain: change my age to 40, put up some shirtless pics, change my age range to "35-50" and in a few hours I was sure to have a plethora of milfs to fuck. And which milf wouldn't wanna fuck a younger guy with a hot body?
I knew this could be bad for me because I'm ravenously addicted to milf porn, but the addicted brain is a persuasive one: "You're looking for actual milfs to fuck; it's not pornography."
I knew I was back in a full blown relapse almost immediately after making the account. Come to think of it, I had a huge boner before I even finished MAKING the account and thinking of all the future milfs I'd be banging.
I got hard every time I got a new match. I got hard every time I received a new message. I couldn't do any of my work because I was constantly checking my phone for matches and messages. I couldn't sleep at night; I was waking up every few hours to check my phone. I tried to control myself. I told myself I'd only look at it once in a while. But obviously that's impossible. A heroin addict can't do heroin once in a while.
I knew that fapping was the only way to release me from the bind. However, I couldn't just fap to regular porn. I needed a Tinder milf to fuck or to exchange pics with.
This tyranny lasted for two days straight, two anxiety-ridden days where I was addicted like a character straight out of Requiem for a Dream; I was unable to work out at the gym, eat a normal meal, or do anything productive because I was constantly checking the fucking phone. I was hoping one of them would agree to meet up for sex or send me some nude pics, but 98% of them were looking to date. And the 2% looking to fuck wouldn't send any pics beforehand and lived like 80 miles away. I was going nuts. In my mind, I believed it would only take a few hours since my account's inception.
"I have to stop," I kept telling myself, but I couldn't until I got nude pics from one of them. I was so manipulative, trying to scheme my way into getting them to send me pics. I sent topless pics of myself hoping they would get the message, but they never reciprocated.
Finally, I couldn't take feeling like a worthless bum anymore. I fapped to a milf-threesome video.
Right after busting a nut: What the fuck did I just do? I JUST WASTED TWO FUCKING DAYS AND I FEEL LIKE COMPLETE SHIT. I looked at all my matches with absolute disgust, blocked all the numbers I got, and deleted my Tinder account for good, vowing to never fall into this trap ever again.
The next day: holy shit, the next day. I couldn't focus on anything; my anxiety was through the fucking roof, and worst of all, I NEEDED TO FIND MORE MILFS ON TINDER. My urges were in complete control of my body and I felt the worst withdrawals I've ever felt in my life. To anyone who says pornography isn't a drug: FUCK YOU.
I went to the APP store and was about to make a new Tinder account and repeat the whole process before I stopped myself and said; if you want to change it begins right now. It will be difficult. There's no way around it. But you can handle it. You CAN live without porn no matter how bad these urges get. I took a deep breath and put my phone down and walked around my room in circles for the next few hours, but eventually it subsided a little bit.
Today's the 2nd day since, and my urges were horrible this morning. I wanted to make another Tinder account and unblock some of the phone numbers, but I didn't and getting this off my chest is helping me feel much better.
Moral of the story: No matter what your brain tries to do to rationalize; if something gives you the same symptoms of looking at porn, it's pornography. Someone like me can't use Tinder, and though I'm in love with the idea of fucking milfs, I gotta stay away from it online. If it happens in real life, so be it. But the second I make that Tinder account, I know I'm hooked. I actually did this before on POF, drove about an hour to find a milf, banged her, and the second I came I was like what the fuck am I doing an hour from home at this random woman's house. I put on my clothes and left immediately and was crying on the ride home. Shit isn't always how it seems to the addicted mind.
Moral 2: Whenever your urges are strongest, decide, from that moment on, that this is where shit changes. This is the point of the story where the character undergoes the arc. Don't fall back into the same shit you're trying to get out of.
Stay strong fapstronauts.
submitted by TinderNoFap to NoFap [link] [comments]


2014.08.21 20:50 Demonicookie Free online live nude chat cams

*Hi beer money this is an x post for my friend who wasn't old enough to post here.
Hi one and all of WorkOnline, I have been a lurker for quite some time now, so I decided I will make an account and give you an alternative type of work. Recently when I went out to look for information on this type of work I was left high and dry. So I took it upon myself to make this guide for anybody interested in this type of work.
FAQ

Lets get down to what you clicked here for. The sites I use.
First site (Internetmodelling / Non-Ref)
This site had me fill out contracts. Tax forms, etc. When a site requires you to fill out government forms it is safe to say they are legit. This site is pretty much an agency
In one of the contracts you agree never to give out personal information such as skype(Immediate termination if caught). You are also not allowed to be nude in general chat.
Here is a list of sites pulled right off of their site. If you are a girl obviously you have more choices.
WebcamModels.com - Pays 70% rev-share from all earnings. LiveCam.com - Pays $.80/min for group and $1/min for private chat + bonus. Webcam Guys - Pays $.80/min for group and $1/min for private chat + bonus. Shemale Cams - Pays $.80/min for group and $1/min for private chat + bonus. Private Cams - Pays $0.03 per token earned from tips or private chats. AdultVideos.com - Pays 70% lifetime rev-share from all videos sold. 
As you can see a lot of popular webcam sites are here. There is some for Transgender folks and for some of us guys.
Now the site webcam models is the amateur network where plenty of people are grouped into rooms. You can start immediately on this site and doesn't require verification. Because of this it is extremely hard to make tokens. If you are a girl again it will be easier for you.
Maybe you do not want to perform on webcam but you know a lot of people wanting to do it. Become an agent(Virtual Pimp) and have webcamers make you money. (Become a Agent(Virtual Pimp) / Non-Ref )
Second Site (Chaturbate / Non-Ref)
This site is probably what more of you guys are familiar with. It is a webcam/chat site where you get tokens. Chaturbate takes a 50 percent cut out of your earnings. So if you made 100 tokens then you would get 5 dollars.
Pretty simple stuff here. Now females get more money then guys (duh.) But couples make more then guys and girls.
Chaturbate needs some age verification before you can start earning tokens. They do not offer the same tax forms as internet modelling but if you stick with them for a year you get a earning sheet near tax season.
TIPS
TL:DR; Masturbate for money.
submitted by Demonicookie to beermoney [link] [comments]


2013.12.31 21:35 strongerthanX Free live online nude chat cams

I wrote this on the PornFree reddit, I really wanted to share here to because I realize so clearly that reading other people's experiences helped me come to where I am today, which is feeling strong at 10 days no porn, no fap. I feel good, and want someone on the fence to know that you can go from feeling hopeless to feeling great even after years of feeling shame and going to the bottom of your morale limits:
I have never told anyone the truth. I have never gone as far as telling a friend how I truly feel about my P and M habits. God forbid I reach out to my good friends beyond joking about being a porn addict. I used to think joking about it would make me feel okay with what I did, but by joking I was only trying to reach out; admitting to someone that I had a problem without getting vulnerable and true to myself. This is what I will do now. If you are having a tough 'moment' or are truly interested in my story, I'm just going to write as much as I can in this message. Maybe it will help my recovery, maybe it will make you feel okay with your past actions knowing that someone else went through an equally abhorrent path as you. So I'll start from the very beginning.
The very first time I remember seeing porn I must have been 9 years old. My classmates and I would go onto newgrounds.com where you could kill Osama Bin Laden, play violent flash based video games, and all the kind of stuff. There was an adult section which we soon found, where you could undress Britney Spears. "Amazing", I thought. So I went home, closed the door to our computer room and I slowly took her articles of clothing off as my heart pounded and I when I had everything off I felt so much excitement. I checked out other similar applets on the site and felt worried someone would find out. I was also shocked by some of the material.
Not long after, I logged into my young email address and saw an alluring spam email advertising girls with big breasts. Pretending to accidentally click on it, I waited for my dial-up internet to expose the images and quickly shut them down.
The taboo about looking at the images was too strong at the time, so the only time I would look at porn was when pop-ups would appear as I web browsing, sometimes intentionally going to sites I knew would have these pop-ups thus absolving myself of explicit intent to seek porn.
Then I started to M. By then I was 11 years old, and only even understood what it was after my teacher explained it during sex education. I didn't O the first few times, not realizing really what I was supposed to do. I thought you needed to use two hands, advertisements from certain lingerie stores were more than enough, and I usually went straight from start to 'finish' as soon as I could.
Of course, I then started getting more interested in female celebrities, and scoured the internet for the best fake and real pictures of specific celebrities where I would save them or print them off. I was obsessed some nights with finding more and better pictures. I wouldn't necessarily M, but as I was searching through all of this content and organizing it I would rub myself through my jeans. I began secluding myself for hours on end, sometimes proceeding with this reconnaissance while my family sat and watched TV in the same room. I was often so frustrated when my privacy was invaded and I had to shut the operation down for the night. By the time I was 12/13 I had figured out the password to the adult channels on my family's satellite dish (0,0,0,0) and I was blown away. Around the same time, I had been downloading clips and pictures from file sharing sites, getting especially excited by some clips I found of children who were my age at the time. I came across some child porn once, and even as an early teen I was repulsed and deleted it immediately but was kind of interested at the same time. I would sometimes hope to accidentally download more of it.
I had accumulated a ridiculous collection of porn, and bragged about it to my friends. I would often come home from school alone, and treat myself to the porn I had access to on TV, and after holding back, proceed to M.
Although I remember these formative years as the period where I was obsessed with particular women, and collecting, they were hardly the worse years. When I was 14 I remember formatting my hard drive for no reason other than it was unusable due to viruses. Not wanting to download everything all over again, I stopped collecting and began browsing sites with pictures.
The variety was great, there were different categories, and I especially liked the pretty athletic girls section. I felt suave for getting away from the shitty photoshopped pictures of celebrities and the short porn clips I was collecting before. Now I felt like a simple admirer of female beauty. I would just look at the pictures, and I would blue ball myself through my pants.
Then I started progressing back into porn, and all my habits before. I thought I hit rock bottom when I spent 6 hours one day edging and then O, only to do another 2 hours at the end of the night. I then swore off porn for good. This took me to 15-16 when I had developed pretty bad acne, and instead of going out to socialize I found myself back in the exact same habit of binging for ridiculous amounts of time.
This time, however, I was on a chat/social networking site where I had a few pictures (photo shopping away my acne) where in my intoxicated state of 'lust' I would just hope that someone would find me attractive. I remember this moment so vividly, a girl starting to chat with me, then beginning to say sexy things and how she wanted me to f*ck her. I felt so loved and aroused and this is when it all started to get way worse.
I would continue with all of my old habits, saving the odd photo but mostly browsing, while simultaneously seeking out girls in chatrooms where I could recreate that connection. I did this for hours several nights a week. If it wasn't for my obligation to some sports teams and involved parents, I now realize I would've gone absolutely crazy during this time.
I don't really remember when I first took a picture of my cock, or who I sent it to. I remember feeling deep regret after I O'd knowing that I could never take it back. I know it was to someone online and with the knowledge I have now it was most likely a dude instead of the girl I thought I was sending it.
By 17, I would be on my alias MSN account, adding every girl I could from chat sites. I soon had no shame, making my display picture my cock and just feeling amazing when people would commend me on how big I was. I felt so special and good, it just made me want to MO for ever. At this point, I would split my time between porn and just chatting with porn loading in the background. Sometimes I could barely walk because of the pain in my testicles or the burning feeling I would get. I was spending sometimes > 3 hours on the brink of O but holding it in. I never really understood the caveat about M that so many teachers had reinforced during sex ed: "Don't feel guilty. It's natural." I never felt shame before, but the way I was going, I started feeling really dumb immediately after releasing for the pictures I had sent, the things I had said, the time I had wasted. I had confessed twice to my parents about my habits before then, for minor things, but there was a point where I realized, "There's no going back now. You're all on your own. No one can ever know about what you're doing now. This is sick and twisted."
We finally got high speed internet and I got my own laptop so before I was 18 I was desperately searching for girls to cam with several nights a week. It was hopeless. So many dudes looking, so many dudes posing as girls, but I kept trying. I just couldn't wait for my 18th birthday because I wouldn't have to lie about my age on adult websites anymore and I could feel free.
So by 18, I joined adult friend finder, and performed on webcam (never showing my face, a rule I sometimes broke in private chats leading me to paranoia and regret for days after). The few times I got close to making arrangements to meet with women, I would O and breath a shocked sigh of relief as any urge to do so faded.
High speed was horrible for me, as I would just search video after video and stay online waiting for a girl to just gawk at my cam so I could feel like less of an 18 year old virgin loser.
I went to my first party at the end of high school, drank a few times, felt really good when I was drunk and was very social. I almost hooked up with some girls at parties but my lack of experience made me too nervous. I was like an equally skinny, but slightly more athletic, slightly less loveable version of any Michael Cera character at parties.
I wanted to do college right. I saw it as a new chapter. So I went cold-turkey. To be honest, I just wanted to have a big 'release' when I had my first sexual experience. But after the big parties of first week in college faded, I was still a virgin. Porn free for over 3 months at this time, I was very happy, although seeing videos of myself from then, still very immature. I was a bit socially awkward, and would get wasted to amuse people; thus bypassing the need to have real conversation with the crutch of "I'm so wasted, want to f*ck?" as the general framework of my pickup attempts.
I was simply afraid to be intimate with a girl, just wanting to get #1 done and over with. Having barely partied in high school, I was still learning how to be socially 'normal'. I gave up and just went back to my PMO habit and was overjoyed with my private locked room and internet access. At this time it didn't really interfere with my studies, as school wasn't too demanding in first year college. I binged, but there was still enough accountability in a dorm that I didn't go over the top.
Nothing really changed when I was 19. Sometimes I would quit for a week, and then say, "Ok, once a week, perfectly healthy" only to progress to daily or more PMO and cam chat perusing.
Just after my 20th birthday, I got hammered, went out, and got laid. I didn't feel exactly like I had achieved something. I didn't even get the girls name. But feeling like I should've, I convinced myself I was now fixed. That didn't last long. I only felt my online ego grow as I now felt like I had more to show, and now porn went from something where I could view as a distant medium to something I was viewing to hope to learn (what a fallacy I had created).
I stopped caring so much about my disgusting online identity, and I developed some very strong coping strategies, basically just numbing myself about the whole thing. I felt my whole personality numb as well. I felt extreme cynicism, depression, hopelessness for any possible love life to find me. I had sex with a beautiful girl when I was 21, and just felt numb about it. I realized then, "I'm actually hopeless. I broke myself and I'll never be fixed".
I studied psychology and understand what P and compulsive M can do to the brain, but to this day I feel horrible about all of the developmental (social and physical) stages I altered with my extreme habits.
In my final year of college I unravelled. I would spend hours in the morning on my phone on dating apps, trying to connect with girls. Living alone, some days would be COMPLETELY spent doing this. I wrote myself notes afterwards, for me to read next time I was to do it.
I bargained with myself: just get in get out, no more binges. No more chat. For fucks sake: stop sending out dick pics!!
I listened, but then I didn't listen. By now I was posting craigslists ads hoping to get women to message me. I posted pics of myself to NN. I had gone from being obsessed with porn, to BEING porn. It is such a heavy part of me that I keep so hidden but I know somehow it eats away at me.
By now, I'm writing in the present, the narrative dissolves. I am me. I ramble, I know. But it's just so hard to know all of the strong habits I have formed that will be with me forever, dormant or not.
I became so predictable: Create a few dating profiles when I was horny, message every decent girl on the site, try to avoid sending dick pics if I had already sent a face pic. Add thousands of Skype contacts. I had successfully stopped such behaviours for short periods, my recent summer employment restricted me to having internet access on the weekends. I saw this as a perfect scenario to give myself a full summer free of porn. Slowly however, I just started looking forward to porn weekends more. After hitting rock bottom as far as time, content-type, and invasiveness of porn recently, I found the resources alluded to by many on this site, mostly user accounts, and for whatever reason I quit.
Funny enough, I actually started my PornFree stint by not wanting to feel numb, or my post-PMO pissed off short tempered self, for a few nights of X-mas movies. This was enough to get me through a few hard days, and then I really went beyond that and put everything in perspective and decided enough was enough. No compromises, no systems, no empty promises: I'm done.
If you are still reading, you will be happy to know:
I will never look at porn again. I am 10 days completely PornFree now, and although I'm not a new man by any means, I feel free.
This time, it feels real.
This time, I know I will succeed. I have read feedtherightwolf before, but for some reason, something really resonated when I started reading user stories on here from yourbrainonporn.
The biggest trap I would ALWAYS fall into was rationalizing ways to get back in. I would literally try and find scientific studies saying M was healthy for you. I would think, porn in moderation is not a problem, just stay off the chats... for god's sake please don't go through that dick pic / craigslist / manwhore phase though. But I most definitely would.
I know I have more to say, or more anecdotes that I've successfully repressed. I apologize if some of what I said was a sort of trigger (I'll admit, writing of my earlier experiences gave me some urges). However, if you are at all on the fence about this whole thing, believe me, you can do it.
There is no reason to watch porn.
I am a smart guy. I studied psychology, despite the tone of my article I am a funny guy and I can be the life of the party. I go through highs and lows, but if you let porn into your life, it will take you. It will take you and hurt you.
Porn is not cool. I laughed at my friend when he said he was quitting porn a year ago, it's like he was offending me. I used to scoff at 'porn addicts'; "that's stupid, just don't watch porn so much".
I'm really rambling at this point, but I really just want to say: •Yes this is hard, but I feel the strong urges that come over me to be less of a fingerprint from lingering porn urges. It is activity in the brain that is not being reinforced, that will eventually be reallocated to more productive things. This energy will soon be what makes you love again. If you feel the urge when walking by your computer, embrace it as a sign of better things to come (no pun intended) and just brush it off: You don't need to cave. •Porn will most certainly lead to more destructive things. It has definitely put me in the mindset to develop patterns online (sending nude photos, rude messages, craigslist ads) which I would have never had the volition to do otherwise. •You are not broken. I felt this so many times over the last couple of years. But then I would feel very passionate and tender with a girl I met. Other times I would oscillate towards complete indifference with a girl who was showing interest. What I have concluded is that porn just destabilizes you, it confuses you about what you are pursuing and certainly interferes with your brain's natural behavior.
I want to thank everyone on this site and in similar communities for allowing me a place to do this. I will certainly check in and boast about my improvements over time because those posts have been incredibly helpful to me to getting to this point where I am absolutely free of porn. The url in my browser is so close right now, I could type anything in there. But fuck that. Fuck porn.
EDIT: I want anyone reading this to know what I've done and will add dumb shit as I think of it for a bit. I know a big part in my real decision to go PornFree was being able to see others that had done similar things as I had, were able to move on. •22 yrs old: A woman on Skype asking if I had a string. I literally cut one out of a winter boot and ran back to my cam. She instructed me to tie it around my junk. It hurt but felt tingly. Not only did I feel horrible after that emotionally, but I had rope burn on my penis. •17 yrs old: I was bored with normal fapping, so I literally googled "advanced masturbation techniques". This got me into playing with my fingers and prostate. I could barely look at people in the eyes the next day at school. Luckily it didn't become a regular thing, but up until recently I would hint to people online that I would do it on cam if they wanted. •teens - 22: Going to porn search engines and searching specific, harmful things even though I would never want to see a girl being hurt when I'm clear minded, it was something new. That means beastiality, rape porn, sleep. It's so twisted and sad that these things exist. •21: I reached out about my PMO behaviour on craigslist (wish I had known this reddit existed before). I got some nice responses of people saying I'll get through it. It's actually how I was referred to feedtherightwolf. I also got guys saying embrace it, be proud of it. Then a woman responded to me and I kid not, I replied with a dick pic and asked if she would like to help me do it for real.
PS: I want to also add (since reading similar things reassured me)
I began to be interested in heterosexual porn with many men and one girl (in addition to the inverse and everything in between). I also got many messages and propositions from men on sex sites / craigslist.
I got so desperate for reassurance and positive feedback on my athletic muscular body, that I wouldn't necessarily ignore these messages. I began to worry that maybe I was gay. The fact that I was beginning to see less intense emotions for girls beyond objects made me worry further. I even started to admire male celebrities and good looking guys, even though I was thinking "I wish I were that guy, he's probably banging so many hot girls" I still felt nervous that I was actually focusing on these types of things.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with being gay, but when you aren't and you know you aren't and then you think you are, it's hard to deal with.
Even after 10 days free, I'm happy to say I'm just taking in the sights, smells, and sounds of girls I interact with. I can't wait to continue and see my pure thoughts continue to return to me.
P.P.S: One more thing:
There is no bigger shame than not wanting your mom to hug or touch you, or shake someone's hand or come to the dinner table or go for a walk because you are planning on, in the middle of, our just finished a PMO binge. This is probably the most destructive part of it, and a sign I was aware of but ignored as applying to me when I began considering my behavior a problem.
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2013.07.06 06:01 tabledresser Free online live nude chat cams

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Date: 2013-07-06
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Questions Answers
I happen to be one of the lurking guests who never tip or contribute to any conversations. What are your thoughts on people like me? Is it wrong for me to take my frugal masturbation habits for granted? Also, why do you think people pay such large sums of money for something they can get for free? Some girls are used to getting more so most of the tippers don't even get noticed. They could even get the real thing for the same amount, so why would they choose to spend their money on mfc? I don't mind guests. Yes, it's nice if you tip, but I'm there because I like to be watched, and also because I want money. If you aren't going to tip, there are going to be people who will. However, don't be offended when guests and basics (non paying members) are muted and can't PM or talk to the models.
I think people pay so much money because sometimes they have so much of it that they don't know what to do with it. Also, it's pretty customized. If you're watching porn you don't get to tell the actors or actresses what to do. When you're watching a camgirl, you can tell her to bend over and slap her ass. If she doesn't, then you can leave and she loses the business.
I'd tip for nude violin... Haha well if you don't mind all the screechy sounds! I'm still learning.. I haven't had it too long. I really like playing it though, and I hope that I can become awesome at it someday.
Is "violin" one of your search terms (if it even works like that)? Because getting some culture is never a bad thing, and lord knows I could use some more culture. It isn't. I haven't really been playing it long enough so I still suck at it. I want to learn how to play well though, so I'm just going to keep practicing. :)
If your BF gets home and you have been working does it get old to be active with him after you have been doing it all day? I don't live with my boyfriend, but I'm still always up for sex when he's around. Having sex with someone you love is an entirely different feeling than when you're masturbating on camera for near strangers.
It's understandable if you don't want to answer this question, but: About how much money do you pull in on the average night of webcamming? Do the performerss on those cam sites have a circle-thing going, as in do you know eachother? Or is each cammemodel solitary and does their own thing? On an average weeknight I can get anywhere from $100-$200, depending on how much effort I put into it, what times I'm on, and for how long. On a weekday when I'm on for 1-2 hours I might make $60. It all depends on if my regular customers are on, and if it's a payday.
Huh, this is surprisingly lower than I was led to believe. Still beats a minimum wage job, and you can work from home though! I'm still new to MFC. I'm only in my second month now. I've been on LiveJasmin, Flirt4Free, and another one quite briefly that I don't remember the name of. By far, MFC has been the best paying. I just need to build up my customer base. LiveJasmin is very boring. Even when I put effort into it, in the end, I would have an empty room a lot of the times. I'm trying to be more regular with the times I go on (it brings more loyal customers) but I don't feel like coming on every day!
This makes me wish I was a smokin' hot female instead of an average-looking dude. There are guys that do it, too! I've tried convincing my boyfriend to do it, but he says the only people that will watch him are gay old men.
I get livejasmin pop ups too much. even if im looking at porn, surprise porn is never a good thing. it's made me kinda hate that site now the first thing i do when i see livejasmin is close the damn window. i wouldn't be surprised at all if thats what happened to you there. Maybe. I kind of resent LJ because it takes forever to get paid, and the members were rude.
Thanks for your response! Another question I'm somewhat interested in as well: What is the general consensus of your friends/family that know what you do? Do you find they are most accepting, or more judgmental towards your current employment? Well, I am also a pharmacy technician, so if someone asks what I do, that's what I tell them.
Some of my closer friends know what I do. None of them really judged me, at least I don't think so. My boyfriend knows, and he thinks it's sexy. I asked him before doing it though. I was really surprised when he said it wouldn't bother him.
As for family... my mom and brother know what I do. My mom knows most of what goes on, and my brother just overheard a conversation one time. I had to tell my mom because I live with her, and I can't have her knocking loudly on my door when I'm in the middle of a show. My stepdad thinks I work for a company online and answer questions, sort of like a call-center. He doesn't need to know.
You should hit me up I can give you some good tips. I've been on MFC for three years and I have a lot of experience with camming (10 years). I don't cam but I know most of the ins and outs. You'll have to send me a pm! I don't know how to do it since I usually reddit on my phone. I do know how to reply to a pm though; I think I've gotten that figured out.
If I may give you unsolicited advice as someone who visited MFC once or twice: The girls who are the most popular seem to be really talkative and capture their audience not only with their body but also with their mind and characters. It's not only tits and ass. :) Thanks for the advice! I have noticed this.. and I do tend to talk a lot with my customers. I already have a growing base of regulars!
Aside from MFC paying better, are there any major differences between the different sites? Yes. On MFC, you can be nude in public chat. On LiveJasmin, you get penalized for any exposed breasts or genitals. Also, LiveJasmin works by a dollar amount per minute, whereas MFC is based on tokens. MFC does have tokens per minute for private and group shows though.
What effect do you think your career choice will have on future relationships (sexual, familial, or otherwise)? I'm going to be a veterinarian eventually. I don't really see it affecting my career in that field. And as for future relationships, I prefer to have open mind-ness in my relationships. If someone has a problem with it, then chances are we aren't going to get along very well to begin with. My current boyfriend doens't mind, and he actually enjoys the fact that I go online and do my webcam things. My mom knows that I do it as well. She doesn't like it, but tuition is expensive. I find it empowering, rather than degrading. All I have to do is show my tits and guys, or girls, will throw their hard earned money at me. All from the comfort of my home!
Tits : 50. Pussy Flash : 100. Save dog's life in 500. Come on guys! TIPS! Haha! If you don't want these innocent puppies to die from starvation, just 50 tokens a day!
It sounds evil when you place it like that. Muahahaha! I'll show you my tits for your HARD EARNED DOLLARS!! >;]
I just do not understand why people still can't comprehend that women like sex and being sexual. Me either. We aren't in the 30's anymore! Women are sexual creatures, too!
Something about your money being HARD earned. Mmhm. There's definitely something hard about it. ;)
I'm not sure if you know how it's done here on reddit, but we only throw imaginary internet points at girls for showing their tits. Haha I'm a redditor for over a year. This is a throwaway. :)
The surgeries are far from the worst part... Anal glands, euthanasia, and horrible owners are why I eventually got away from vet med. Yeah, my previous dog used to have really bad anal glands. I was at the vet's getting them expressed almost once a month. It smells terrible and is quite icky. I can handle it though.
As a side note, if you see this, what kind of vet do you plan on being? I'm on the way to either doing dairy or beef cattle. Mayyybe equine, maybe. Fucking horse people. I want to specialize in reptiles and wildlife. I'll also do cats and dogs though. If I can't do both reptiles and wildlife then I'll spring for just reptiles. I love scaly creatures!
How long have you been at it? Weirdest fetish you've indulged? Weirdest fetish you wouldn't indulge? Do you find a lot of cam guys want to just chat and make a connection with someone? Ever made a real life connection with a client? I've been doing it for about a year now. The weirdest fetish that I've complied with was a urine fetish. There wasn't much too it.. all I had to do was pee in the bathtub while I rubbed myself. And yes, there are a lot of guys that just want someone to talk with. I try to avoid those types because I do have a boyfriend, and while he doesn't mind that I am a camgirl, he would mind if I made an emotional contact with a client. I did have a connection starting to form with a client before.. and as soon as I realized it was happening I told him I was sorry but I couldn't speak with him any more. My boyfriend is more important to me than any of my clients.
As a previously screwed over boyfriend, it's refreshing to know women like you are available in the world. Kudos. I'm sorry that you were screwed over. There are still women out there.. you just have to find them! Honesty is honestly THE MOST important thing in a relationship, in my opinion. If nobody has lied, there will be no misconceptions, hurt feelings, or much base for argument. It's best to be completely open.
Favorite memory? One time I got paid to talk to a guy for about 10 minutes in a private chat about how I enjoyed the beach, and then I showed my tits for a little bit while we chatted. It was very casual and I enjoyed it! :)
How much ? I believe I ended up getting around $17 for 10-15 minutes of being in private.
How often do you have chats like this? Like someone paying to just have a normal conversation with you instead of "whack off time"? It doesn't happen too often. I actually try to avoid it because I don't want to form any sort of emotional connection with any clients.
You answered 14 hours after you started this IAmA. that's impressive. I was answering questions last night and went to bed. I had to go to an orientation when I woke up, and when I came back I had over 500 comments! I did put an edit in my AMA saying I was going off for the night.
Do cam girls really like seeing his whack off, or is that just pillow talk? I can't speak for all camgirls.. but I do enjoy it. It helps me get to climax, especially if the guy has a nice cock or if he's attractive.
if he has a nice cock or is attractive. So... 3% of your customers? Actually, most of the customers appear to be in their 20s! I'd say about one in five is 40 or over. At least the ones that I view the webcams for. This was actually the most surprising thing that I learned when I started.
Whoa... not only do cocks have to be big but nice too? Man my self confidence is dwindling here. Haha they don't have to be! It's definitely a plus though. Think about the flipside; If you're into curvy girls.. is it going to be easier for you to get off looking at a bodacious body rather than a stick figure with ribs sticking out?
They just think its more fun to jerk off in front of you then to watch porn, probably a lot of guys with gfs on there. I actually come across a lot of guys who will say that they have 'x' amount of time to be on before their wife/girlfriend/fiance gets home.
What's the worst you've seen? I've seen a guy tie his dick off with a shoelace and ask me to tell him to abuse himself. I asked him to smack himself in his balls, and he did. His dick turned a very dark purple and I started to get concerned so I told him to take it off... lol.
Good news, he should be safe up to 4 hours. When the body tissue is deprived from fresh blood that's when it starts to die, but until then you're good! (hence the "seek medical attention for an erection lasting 4 hours" because after that your penis starts to die) Well that's definitely good to know! It was still a frightening sight, though.
To be sure, anything where you see a potential risk of injury is cringe-worthy. I dated a girl who wanted me to hit her during sex... not in a fun way. Well, time to eat some pie! Oh! That reminds me. I once had a guy who wanted me to do anal with the heel of my high heel. I thought about it, then started to do it, and then realized I could probably seriously injure myself because the tip had metal on it. Needless to say, I did not do it.
How did you get started in being a camgirl? Did you just send someone a picture of your tits and say "I want to show people these?" What's the application process like? Well, I pretty much just had to fill out an online form with my name, address, ID info, and I believe SSN. I then had to upload a picture of myself, a picture of myself holding my ID, and a photocopy of both sides of my ID. It didn't take long at all before I could sign on and begin work.
Wow, seems really easy. I would have thought they'd require like a portfolio of certain shots or something. Thanks for doing the AMA, good stuff! No problem! I saw that the last AMA for a cam-girl was a year or so ago.. so I thought we could use another one here :)
And LiveJasmin required me to send in a few pictures, but MFC only needed one I believe.
What's the funniest thing that's happened to you while on the job? And thanks for doing this AMA! Well, some guys make amazingly hilarious faces when they orgasm. It's hard to keep a straight face when a guy looks like he's going all super saiyan with his dick. And I once had someone that wanted me to put a vaccuum cleaner to myself. I did it, but while the cam was off of my face I was silently laughing.
How come after I got AdBlock, not as many girls have been dying to meet me in my area? Because AdBlock keeps out all those pesky whore-ads!
Can we get a hint to your username at least? Sure, it's SexxiiBabii69.
That seems like a pretty good hint. I might be able to figure it out! Haha, just maybe!
Rated 5 stars and admired, and will check out your cam the next time I'm on! Thanks for doing this AMA, it has been quite interesting! Oh, well thanks! And I'm trying to answer all the questions... I didn't expect it to go from 150 comments to 500 overnight!
What is your honest opinion of guys who pay for your service? I don't really have any opinion. I'm happy when I get paid, and I'm not a very judgmental person. However, when a guy says that they have a significant other... I do tend to get a little judgemental. I feel like hiding things from your SO is something that shouldn't be done. If you feel like you can't tell your boyfriend or girlfriend something, then you probably shouldn't be doing it.
You do realize, your business is 90% guys who "shouldn't" be doing it.. That's most likely WHY they're willing to pay for this, because they don't have a chance to be with anyone other than their SO in real life and want to have a little fun without the repercussions of doing it in real life. I do realize it. I feel kind of bad, but at the same time, they don't have to be in my room. They have the freedom to leave at any time. I'm not trying to seduce any married men; they're already there and signed up and buying tokens.
How big are your tits? 34DD :)
Do you have any 'special tricks' that you do whilst on cam? I try to do something for all of the guys on there-- the ass men and the tits guys. So when I'm performing.. I'll be front-faced to the camera sometimes, and then I'll switch it up and go doggy style towards the camera. I also try to dance and striptease.
ass men and the tits guys. Is there a reason you used 'men' and 'guys' for ass-lovers and tits-lovers respectively? Yes; I didn't want to sound redundant. I like mixing it up. :)
No nude pics? :( I posted one already! But here's another.
You are a kind and generous woman. Do you have any of you playing the violin? All of the sudden I have a thing for that, for some reason. I do not! If I can get one later I'll post it up in the place where I edited for the AMA though. :)
You from Romania? I am not! I'm from Orlando, FL. :)
Hey, I'm a camgirl on mfc and I live in Orlando too! We should do a show together :P Maybe-- what's your username?
Oh snap, you probably go to UCF just like me. Just got accepted for next semester. :)
I think I know who you are, then. Is it alright if I confirm by asking another question about your name? Go for it! And what's your name as well?
Are you still on? I didn't know links/referrals weren't allowed since actors are often promoting their movies here. I am not still on, I actually have to get going to bed soon. I'm going to an orientation in the morning so I can begin volunteering at another animal shelter! :)
But I think links are allowed, I just didn't want anyone to assume I was doing this AMA to promote myself. My profile is myfreecams.com/#SexxiiBabii69 , I believe. If not, you can probably look me up by my username, SexxiiBabii69.
Has your boyfriend ever been a part of your show? Have you ever been asked to include him by a viewer? We actually had an account together on LiveJasmin, but since we don't live together and we both live with our families it was a little hard to pull off. And yes, I have been asked to include him by some of my customers. I tell them I'll oblige as long as they give me enough time to get him to come over. I'm also saving up for an HD video camera so that we can record our own home-made stuff, and I can record some solo videos as well. I can sell those on my profile page. All I have right now are pictures. I do have one video, but I'm not sure how I would get it to a paying member because the file is too big to send through email. It would have to be password protected too, so that the link couldn't get spread among members. I'll figure it out eventually. I'm not too worried about it right now; camera first.
Yes, but if you have any questions for the mods, it would be better if you message us directly. Link to www.reddit.com. Thanks. So am I verified now, then?
Is that your natural hair color? That picture was taken in the shower, but yes. I don't dye my hair any more. I used to, but I ended up damaging my hair so much that I had to have it cut shorter than an inch.
How did you get started? Do you work outside of this profession? I got started on LiveJasmin. I used to just randomly look through the models sometimes and think, "I'm prettier than a lot of these girls.. I could probably do this.." It started off as a need for extra money, but now I just enjoy doing it. And yes, I am a pharmacy technician as well.
What if instead of either of those he's a hairy beast with the clock of a ten year old boy? A friend of mine was asking. Then I'll watch if he's paid for it-- but I won't get much, if any, enjoyment out of it.
As someone with both of those things, this post made me sad. Aww, I'm sorry! Remember though, this is just me.. someone out there might enjoy it! You just have to find that person.
Do you think you could make money with your clothes on? Yes, and I have! I get tipped sometimes for just sitting there and talking and being friendly. I've been tipped while playing my violin fully clothed before!
If you're referring to something outside of the cam-world, then that is a yes as well. I'm a pharmacy technician.
Is it difficult to get into a serious relationship with a boyfriend/girlfriend given your line of work? No. I actually have a boyfriend. I started camming about a month into our relationship. I asked him if he would be okay with it before I even started. It turns out that he actually thinks it's pretty sexy.
Does he join in the chat room? As far as I know, he hasn't. I did invite him in last night but he didn't join in because he was already on his way to bed.
What are a few of the things you have seen that are deem worthy of telling while you are working? Well, there's the guy that tied the shoelace around his dick. There's also this guy that wanted to show me how far he could cum. I thought that he was like all guys and thought that he was super special, but this guy literally shot his load from one side of the bed to the other... longways. I've seen someone stub their toe while almost orgasming, and another guy fall off of his bed. Hilarious. I managed to keep a straight face though.
Have you ever considered mainstream porn? Has anyone ever asked you to do porn? Will you be in my porn?... I've been potentially offered a mild porn with nothing too sexual with another girl. I asked my boyfriend about it, and he said he would be fine with it, so if the offer comes through, I'm going to do it!
Porn. And no, but thanks for the offer! :P.
Most viewers you ever got? It was on a Friday night. I probably could have gotten more, but I was tired and felt like going to bed after I finished my show. On a night when I'm trying I'll get about 100 people in my room. I'm still sort of new on MFC, so I don't have the client base yet.
Do you make good money from it? On LiveJasmin, no. On MFC I made $400 my first paycheck (for two weeks) for three days of being online, and $150 my second paycheck for being online one or two days. I recently switched to MFC. I didn't like LiveJasmin or Flirt4Free.
What percent of the tips do you get? For every token I get $0.05. It depends on how many tokens the members buy at once as to how much of the percentage I get. The more tokens they buy, the cheaper they are for them.
Many of the free users aren't of age 18, how do you feel about having so many teenagers watching your shows? I mean shouldn't they be playing video games? I don't have any control over that. If they're in my room and they shouldn't be, then that's not my issue. If they say that they're underage in public chat, though, I do tell them that they should leave.
Do you think guys are hornier than girls? I think that guys are, in general, hornier than girls. I also think that people are vastly different;one girl could have an insane sex drive while the next has none, just as with guys.
Why? Why not? I enjoy being watched, and I can make money from it!
This is coming from someone who uses Camsites very regularly. Why does almost every single camgirl put their sexuality as Bisexual. I understand that a lot of them are. But I swear, I almost never see Gay or Straight. Is it just a coincidence, or do they do it so that they can attract a wide variety of viewers? Probably so that they can attract a wide variety of viewers.
I am sexually bisexual, but not emotionally. I don't think I could ever love a woman, but I know I could have sex with one.
Do you happen to know why some countries are banned? I tried to login for about 6 months and it kept redirecting me, saying that probably my country was banned or that some regions weren't available. I managed to find a way in though... Well, some of the models choose to ban their home country. If you can't access any of the models though, I'm not too sure. And I don't know about the token limit either... you could always try e-mailing their support!
What can you see when youre online that we cant see as users? I'm not sure, since I've never seen it from the user side.
Do you see how many token's users have? I can see how many people are viewing me, and how many of those are guests. I can also see which members and basics (people who have signed up but not purchased tokens) are in my chatroom.
How many people are viewing you etc? And as for getting the most money out of clients.. I just try and be friendly and accommodating. Like I said earlier, I try and show a little something for everyone.
Any strategies for getting the most $ out of clients that work? I can see how many tokens a user has if they allow it.
I'm thinking of being an MFC camgirl myself and actually filled out the form and sent in the pic in all, but then chickened out. I was mostly turned off by the idea of giving them my SSN. Do they just need it to deduct taxes? They need it so that they know that you're able to work in the United States, I believe. And they do not deduct taxes, so you'll need to set aside money for when tax time comes.
Do you ever find your customers fostering a false sense of community or real friendship with you? If so, is it something that you actually encourage or do you think it's just a bi-product of the intimacy of what you're doing? I ask because I once visited a site called Chaturbate and found it a little unnerving to see how the blokes (what turned out to be largely middle aged men) thought they were engaged in some emotionally invested relationship, yet at the same time were tipping large some of money to these women just to keep them responding. It was all very surreal to me, but is this a common thing? I suppose so. I've seen it in some of the popular model's chatrooms. I do tend to take a liking to some of my regulars, but I don't get emotionally attached. If someone is a big tipper, they get more things; it's as simple as that.
How often would you say you fake orgasm(s) for your customer(s)? It depends. If someone is pressuring me because of a time limit, then I will. If I'm doing a public show, I finish when I orgasm.
My friend is planning on starting on that site. What are some basic tips you could give her for starting? Be friendly, smile, and talk with the clients! The more regularly you're on, the more regular customers you'll have.
What is your set up like? I've cammed on Cam4 before and made some decent money there. I've tried MFC but it seems it can be a process to get started. Just curious what kind of cam you use, how you have it positioned and all that good stuff :) I had a MicrosoftLifeCam HD 600, but I upgraded to a Logitech C920. I just position it on top of my computer monitor, and I'm good to go! It's all about the way you move your body and what you have in the background. My bed is behind me when I'm on my computer, so sometimes I'll turn on my zoom feature and do things on my bed.
Has anyone every recognised you offline or have you recognised a client? I imagine it would be ultra awkward. Not yet, but I imagine it might be pretty awkward too! Hopefully if anyone recognizes me they would just keep it to themselves.
What is the deal with the Romanians on MFC? Like 75% of the women on that site seem to be either Romanian and Colombian. I'm not sure! I noticed on LiveJasmin that a lot of the models don't speak English very well either.
Do you ever feel embarrassed about taking your clothes off in front of people? Not really. Every now and then I feel insecure, like a lot of girls, but I feel like nakedness is totally natural, and I just push through my insecurities.
I've actually found that since I've started doing webcam, I'm more comfortable in bed and feel less insecure.
Do you think an average-looking girl in lingerie (not nude) would be able to make money as a camgirl? I don't see why not! As long as you have the personality for it you should be able to do well.
As a curious member of a couple interested in the industry, do you think that performing as a couple is worth while or that people enjoy just a woman more in a pay for performance environment? (Fuck a throwaway) I do get more people in my chatroom when I am by myself rather than when I'm with my boyfriend. However, why not do both? It gives you and your SO something to talk about, plus you can discover new things together that you may not have tried before.
Sorry if I missed this, but do you have a link to your CamShow so we can support you? My profile is: Link to profiles.myfreecams.com
Last updated: 2013-07-10 05:37 UTC
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2013.02.14 08:36 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: Hey! I am Lexi Bloom the retired porn star. AMA.

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-02-13
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Link to my post
Questions Answers
When did you lose your virginity? I lost my virginity at 15 to a guy that I dated for 2 years.
There is a misconception that girls in porn are "broken". Is this actually true? Nope, that is actually true. Most of the people - girls especially - in the industry are a mess.
Are a few of the veterans "stuck" in the job? No one is ever actually stuck. We all have a choice to move on if we want to. I'm sure there are some people in the industry still because it is the easy path to stay in.
PS, I've lost a lot of DNA to you. Haha I'm glad to hear that. I still web cam and make custom videos if you would like to lose some more. ;)
Do you feel that your statement carries over to really intelligent women in the industry like Stoya? I have never met her so I don't know. Ask her.
Hi, I don't have a question. Just wanted to say that I'd Lexi your Bloom, if you know what I mean Hahaha Best quote today.
What do you mean by mess? Drug problems? Relationship problems? Broken spirit? Seems like porn stars would have a lot of similar problems to non porn stars. Drug problems, history of sexual abuse, intimacy issues, lack of value for themselves.
Yeah, they are issues that non-industry people have but for some reason the industry really attracts them.
I feel like that the second point is contrary to what others have said. Didn't some of the other pornstars on here say that it was a stereo type? Most porn stars are on drugs or have had a drug problem. Most porn stars have some kind of sexual trauma in their history. Most porn stars make most of their money escorting. Anyone that tells you otherwise is in denial or hiding something.
How could a guy with the name MUSTY_BALLSACK disappoint? Touche.
So which of these, if any, do you think you fall/fell under? The closest on I come to is "sexual abuse" being as I was taught that sex is a sin.
So Boogie Nights was kinda like a documentary. Lol I couldn't watch that. The only stupid movie I can pay attention to long enough to watch is Kung Pow.
Ok fine. Evil Alien Conquerors. Not as if anyone will know what that is. Lol.
Wait, you can rent most of them as escorts? Asa Akira does that too by any chance? Rent. GREAT word.
That kind of backfired on your parents. Haha I guess you could put it that way.
You forgot the second part of the title..."Enter the fist" That's a lot of nuts.
Didn't mean to offend anyone but... you pay money and they are "yours" for a few hours, physically anyway but not emotionally, what would you call that? You're definitely not offending me. I am not and never have been an escort. And yes, that is what they are saying by selling themselves that way. "I am only worth this price per hour so rent me." They are essentially giving themselves up as something to be sold and through that they are subconsciously telling themselves that they are an item not a person.
Now, where can I find escort agencies for porn stars? :) I am not telling you where you can "rent" a porn star. That is fucked up. If you are deciding to "buy" a person then you are damaging yourself just as much as you are damaging them. Have more value for people even if they are unable to treat themselves like they are worth more and in the end you will have more value for yourself.
How's your sex life since your experience? It would put pressure on me to have sex with a pornstar (former) I would be way to worried on making her feel good. Are you still able to enjoy sex with some degree of intimacy? I didn't have sex for 6 months after because I really didn't want to. It took an awesome guy 2 months of convincing me to fall for him for me to finally get naked again. Now sex is the best sex I have ever had.
That's funny that you say that. I was actually scared of having sex with my guy before the first time because I didn't want to be too porno.
As a male on the internet, I'd have to say there is no such thing as too porno. Hahahahaha
That's kinda sweet :) is also like to know, was porn sex ever good? Did you genuinely enjoy getting pounded like a jackhammer for 30 straight minutes? Not really. There were a couple scenes with my ex that I enjoyed but we were in a relationship so we had an emotional connection.
And no, I did not enjoy that. It was uncomfortable and ended in me being sore.
As a male off the Internet I would respectfully disagree. :)
Thank you for the AMA, I appreciate the answers. Thanks for taking the time to read :)
Awe man. You just ruined porn for me. Haha sorry.
Come back? Lol!! Not gunna happen. :) But I still do customs videos and Skype chats to pay for school. Just no cocks or pussies.
What do you plan on studying? I am a Psychology major. Shocking. I know. ;)
Naaa shocking would becoming a Pope... Lol. Shocking was sarcasm ;)
What are your views on the socio-economic problems facing some European nation states in regards to their continued membership in the union? I have no views because I know nothing about the subject. Feel free to email me some links though and I'll try to make time read about it.
Dude... She offered you her email,.. you're in. Send her the "links" Haha.
Would you rather suck 1 horse sized dick, or 1000 duck sized dicks? I have no idea how big a horse sized dick is but I am assuming that I wouldn't be able to get it in my mouth. I would rather die then suck 1000 duck sized dicks.
Well I guess that rules me out. Wait... do you have a horse sized dick or 1000 duck sized dicks?? Can you even see duck dicks? How do you know how big a horse dick is?
I would rather die then suck 1000 duck sized dicks. You wouldn't be able to do that after you were dead, m'love. Thank you. We have established that I FAIL at then/thans. Lol ;)
A ducks dick is corkscrewed, it's fucking weird. EDIT: Link to i.imgflip.com. OMG NO! Cant you just post pictures of cute little kitty cats?
It's weird, I never realised that horrifying a porn star was something that I wanted to achieve until I had done it :) Edit: Holy crap! Someone gave me Reddit Gold!! Thankyou, anonymous stranger, I'm going to bury it in my backyard with the rest of my treasure! Congrats. Lol. Not sure if you earned bragging rights but congratu-fucking-lations. Lol.
Link to i.imgur.com. Not clicking that.
OMFG!!! AWWW <3.
With a penis, no less. You would hardly think that possible. Lol The unthinkable has been done.
I decided to brag about it to my boss to see what the response was. Once he stopped laughing he agreed that there was no way that I could have known that that was a life goal. Haha you're admitting to your boss that you were talking to a porn star on Reddit at work? And you didn't get fired? Amazing.
Have you ever had an orgasm on camera or is it always fake? Some of my solos were real but most, especially the BG ones, were fake.
Fuck, to the recycling bin they go. Sorry, it's not AMA and I'll tell you a lie in response. Lol.
This is assuming only "sons" watch porn... I was responding to "...my teen son..."
I didn't do anal.. What do you call this? Link to www.pornhub.com. Lol. By didn't do anal I mean I did one scene when I first started then from there on out I was not available for anal scenes.
Thanks for the answer! I have one more, probably stupid, question that relates to a previous question. Some of the pornography I have watched involves either the director or the male actor being excessively physically aggressive and horribly demeaning to the woman actress. I know she must have given consent and that there is a market for that kind of pornography, but it seems like the line could have been easily crossed and it would be difficult for the actress to prevent actual abuse. I have not watched any of your films so I do not know if you were ever in this situation, but what would you do if the actodirector did something on film that you did not consent to? I was alway very, very clear about my boundaries which a lot of people were not used to. I was never in any situations like that. The industry girls tend to be spineless and not care how they are treated.
That scene looks really uncomfortable, and who was your "friend" next to you? Haha it was. It hurt and was super cold/awkward. Lol.
Is there a good living to be made in porn these days, and how is your health if you don't mind me asking? Thank you. Not really. Companies are barely shooting so unless you are a big name you barely get any shoots.
My health is great. I managed to escape the industry STD free. :)
Does your bf watch porn? if yes, what kind? how do you feel about it? He doesn't. Lol I guess I have ruined it for him. Plus, he doesn't really get a chance to anyways. I tend to jump him as soon as he gets home and send him naughty pictures whenever he is work.
Poor guy. I know.. His life really sucks.
He doesn't. This might not quite be true... It's not like he doesn't because I don't want him to. I really don't care if he needs to jerk it. He just would rather the live thing ;)
Unless his dick fell off ... he still does. Dick fell off? Is that what happens when you have sex 3 times a day? Oh wait no. You just don't feel like watching porn anymore. Lol.
No chick is that hot or that horny. I may not be that hot... Even if other guys on here might think so... I am, however, that horny.
Hiding all those erections at work, he must have a tough time. Yeah, it's super HARD.
If I'm following the story correctly, so does his girlfriend. >.< Shhh. No one knows that.
My major issue with porn is that the majority of the women are faking, it's beyond obvious that they are faking, and the only real enjoyment seems to come from some dick who got paid to have sex on camera. It seems the only enjoyable porn at times is shocking porn featuring all manner of hardcore (but I hate BSDM). Is it so hard to create an atmosphere where the woman is enjoying herself and actually cums? No, it's not that hard. But girls are emotional fuckers. I don't care what some may say, we ARE. Of course you can't be emotionally involved with someone you meet on set then fuck 5 mins later.
What are the bad things that you have experienced being a female porn star? Mostly just the way girls are treated. Most of the girls in the industry come in with major issues. They treat themselves like they are worthless and allow people to manipulate and use them.
That's depressing. :( Very.
Did you ever say " No i am not going to do that !" ? Constantly. Lol.
To what? Lol a ton of things.. Anal scenes, gang bangs, BBG, DP, IR, pee scenes, scat scenes... Incest role play scenes...
Whats your best memory? My best memories of the industry were being on set for SexArt.com when I was working back end managing the models and doing wardrobe. The MetArt/SexArt team are AMAZING. I adore each and every one of them.
*working back end * I worked as an agent, talent coordinator, did castings, and wardrobe.
How does wardrobe work? "I think you should wear nothing" repeat infinitely. Haha no way. Have you watched my porn? "Do you have pink knee-high socks? Any pink tshirts? No, that shirt makes you look 20. We need you to look 18." Lol.
What was casting like? Haha entertaining as hell but kinda ruined my hope for humanity all at the same time. I'm just glad the general population isn't like the people I have met.
What is the fascination with acting looking 20? I find it rather annoying. Especially when you can tell they are upwards of 28. 18 year olds are rather annoying. It's the whole "innocent little girl next door" fetish.
Ruined your hope for humanity? how so? Cuz the girls are mostly SO stupid and SO messed up.
That's just...creepy. A little molesty. Yup.
Only for science...? Nothing is ever for anything but science.
How did you get into porn? I was doing artistic nudes back home in Portland and kinda feel into it. I didn't know exactly what I was getting into.
Favorite of your own videos? Least favorite? Honestly, I have never watched my own videos. I find it creepy hearing my voice and watching myself have sex. Lol. I do, however, love the stills taken of me by Holly Randall, InTheCrack, SexArt/MetArt, and Digital Desire.
Thoughts on the changes in the porn industry? Changes like the condom law? I think the condom law is stupid. If they are going to try to enforce that then they should do the same for people at home. What happened to freedom of choice?
What do you do now? I am web camming and making customs for fans to make enough to go to school this term. I will probably continue to do that for quite a while. I really enjoy it.
Did you not make enough while working to pay for school now? Nope, I paid off debts then only had enough for necessities. LA is rediculously expensive.
How did you pick your porn name? I was sitting in a car with my agent at the time and a couple other models. My agent told me that I needed to pick a name and I didn't know what to pick so they named me.
When I close my eyes, I see this thing, a sign, I see this name in bright blue neon lights with a purple outline. And this name is so bright and so sharp that the sign - it just blows up because the name is so powerful... It says, "Dirk Diggler." "Hrmm, well I like it, but it's just not you...How about Lexi Bloom? Yeah, lets go with Lexi Bloom" Lol :)
How have things changed in the time you were in the business? Do you feel they're for the better or worse? what did you like most? Well when I first started I was making $1200+ for BGs and now some girls are getting like $600 for them. Because of torrent sites and tube site, the industry doesn't have much income. That is, of course, for the worse. If the girls don't make much then fewer amazing ones will come into the industry and companies will start producing less. Fans are the ones that suffer.
I worked 50+ hours a week for damn near minimum wage this last summer to get me by in college. Why is 600 dollars not good enough for a half day? They don't actually take home the full $600. If a girl gets paid $600 then she has to pay from $60 to $150 in agency fees, $30 in driver costs, usually $25 to $35 per day for living at the model house, $120 for the STD test if that is her only scene, then is taxed out of the $600, and her flight to and from LA. That's barely coming home with $100 for that one scene.
Why did you retire? Did you ever really enjoy scenes that you did? Did your rl partner have an issue with it? I retired because I was over it. I'm not naturally a slut. The industry was just a short term experimental type thing. I am a one guy type of girl. That being said, I'm a flirt so I love web camming and making customs for fans.
I dated someone in the industry while I was in. Didn't work out. He didn't care about me performing though.
Does everyone in porn have herpes? Because if I have heard right the STD test y'all receive (like the ones I get) aren't full panel tests therefore they don't test for herpes... Not everyone but I'm sure a ton of them do. The tests only test for Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, HIV, and Syphilis.
Yea I've heard that too but most people with herpes don't know it or show symptoms... I have had a full panel test... I had 2 or 3 while I was in the industry then one when I was out. I was scared too but it came back clean.
Have you had a full panel test? Because I'm scared to get one. No problems but the odds aren't in my favor haha. You should go get tested. The odds are never in our favor. If you are sexually active at all there is something like a 60% chance that you have HPV. And that's just one STD. It's better to find out if you have something so that you can start taking care of it and heal.
For a lifetime total of <5 Std tests? TIL I get tested more than a porn star. Yeah.. what he said. I can't even count how many times I have been tested.
LEXI! LET ME MAKE OUT WITH YOU! no? it was worth a shot. LOL!
How rife are drugs and alcohol in the industry? Do performers turn up drunk or stoned for a shoot? Drugs and alcohol are everywhere in the industry. Yes, performers turn up drunk or high all the time. I have never been around mainstream but I have friends who have been... They all say it's an entertainment business thing. Not just a porn thing.
What was the conversation like when you told your parents what your job was? I didn't actually tell them. My real name was posted online and my dad saw it. He was not happy and we did not talk for a long time after that.
I told my mom because I didn't want her to find out from anyone else. She said that she already knew and though she was worried about my health, I am an adult and have the right to make my own decisions.
Are you worried that it may affect your career after college if employers, clients, etc. find out what you used to do for a living? Not really. And if my history does affect a job that I have in the future then it is a sign that it is not the right fit for me.
How much did you get paid per movie? Did you ever feel a specific connection to your co-stars, or was it "all in a day's work"? It all depended. Most girls get between $1200 and $800 for a BG scene. Out of that they have to pay their agents 10-15%, pay their drivers, pay for housing, and pay for their tests.
I never really had any connections with my co-stars. I did work with my ex a few times and obviously there was a connection there but all the other scenes were just work.
I'm disappointed that its not $5000 a day, I feel lied to. Maybe 10 years ago. Lol but there is barely any money in the industry thanks to tube sites and torrent sites.
I thought putting a tag in would be redundant. You're in a porn stars AMA clicking on a link that was talking about a ducks cock. What made you think that it would be anything other than NSFW? Suddenly I'm regretting not telling you people to keep it PG.
Who is the bitchiest female talent you encountered in the industry? Conversely, who was the most pleasant? This girl that I called "RC" for "Royal Cunt"... I don't remember her actual stage name and she wasn't around for very long. Most of the girls are actually really chill on set even if they are insane in their personal lives.
Do you have a snapchat? I actually don't know what that is.
Its only the best new app out there right now haha. Better then Instagram?
Evner got any stds or injuries at work? Does your work effect your personal love-life? I got chlamydia twice and BV a few times. I'm glad that I never got anything that couldn't be taken care of with antibiotics.
I no longer perform so it doesn't. My guy don't care about my making custom videos and web camming. He's very secure about that.
Would it be too much trouble to write my name on your boobs? I could return with the same treatment. I have an aggressively average non-muscular chest, a must see. Thanks! I sell pictures of me holding fan signs for $25.
As do I. That's why this is a fair exchange. I applaud your wit. Email me and I'll send you a picture.
You're awesome :) EDIT: Best cakeday ever? Sexylexibloom at gmail
The most disappointing trend in porn are the porn movie names. They've gone from clever, witty names like Flesh Gordon, Riding Miss Daisey, Shaving Ryan's Privates, Indiana Bones and the temple of Poon and the like to boring names like Star Wars: An XXX Parody. Any insight to why they've adopted dull movie titles? Haha I don't know. Maybe they just aren't inspired.
Most awkward thing you encounter while doing porn? There was a girl sitting on set waiting for us to adjust lights in the middle of a solo scene. She had a weird look on her face so we asked her if she was ok and she said "Yeah, I just remembered that I used to let my dog lick my pussy when I was a kid."
Do any of your classmates ever recognize you or anything? I'm taking classes online right now so no.
Did you have different favourite positions in porn and in your own time? The positions in porn are usually done because the director wants to see them plus they are usually placed so the camera can see what's going on. Off camera sex is completely different and so are the positions.
If you could have one super power what would it be? If I could have a super power it would be all knowledge.
Will you ever un-retire? You were so good at your job! :) Haha nope. I am out for the rest of eternity. I am still web camming and making custom videos for fans though to pay for school.
I know of these customs. I had you make me one a few months ago, it serves me well! Yay!! Well if you ever want another one, let me know! I'm working on making enough money for this term of school!
How do I go about getting one of these custom videos? Email me :) sexylexibloom at gmail.
How do I go about getting a custom? Email me :) sexylexibloom at gmail.
Do you have any regrets about getting into the industry to begin with? Not really regrets. If I could go back 3 years and keep everything that I have learned then I would never get in it but it was worth the growing up that I did.
Did you have legitimate orgasms in porn shoots? In some of my solos I did. My orgasms during BG scenes were faked. I never really had orgasms from intercourse till now.
Would you fuck a lying pervert? I probably fucked quite a few lying perverts. I am not now.
Proof? Link to twitter.com
Step 1: find out miller_timmy's twitter Step 2: find out his moms twitter Step 3: ??? Step 4: profit. OMG MEAN! Lol.
So, do you and your man make your own private videos? Or does presenting a Camera in the bedroom set an uneasy attitude and hinder your sexual appetite? Lol. No we do not. What is the point?
Good point. As you said before, it's always better with the real thing ;) was just curious if past experiences would bring forth bad memories. I'm a Psych major as well :) but it wouldn't really make sense to have any traumatic flashbacks if the whole ordeal itself wasn't traumatic for you. I've noticed the same questions being repetitively asked, does it get annoying to answer the same question over and over again? Lol I don't do it because it would bring back bad memories. I never shot any scenes that I was unwilling to or with people that I was unwilling to shoot with. It's not like I am traumatized or was raped. I simply lived in a world that I didn't fit into for 3 years. Everyone was either completely polite and respectful of my boundaries or threw mini temper tantrums to try to convince me to shift my boundaries. When those people realized that my boundaries weren't going to change they either excepted it and respected me for it or never worked with me again. Lol It gets a little bit annoying answering the same question over and over but I understand. Not everyone wants to read through everyone else's comments and questions. I know I wouldn't :)
Also what are you looking to acquire with your degree? Psychologist? Or social work? What aspects interest you? Me personally the brain, and how people function and being able to try and find cures. I look to go to need school and become a psychiatrist so I can also prescribe. I do not want to go into social work... Too many bad situations that people are stuck in. I want to work with adults that are working on healing from their childhood tramas and help inform people about the need to do so/the amazing things that can happen when you do.
How can we get a hold of your new stuff? My only new stuff is my customs which you buy from me. As I said, I am retired.
JUST SO YOU KNOW: she is still web camming and making custom videos for fans to pay for school. UPVOTE FOR VISIBILITY... AND TITTIES. OMG! LOL!! Tweet me.
Thought you weren't clicking it. Everyone convinced me. I can't say no to a kitty pic!
NSFW^ Dear lord, if I weren't alone right now I'd have some serious explaining to do... So glad I didn't click it. My poor little innocent eyes.
Welp, thats enough internet for me today. LOL.
A Who fucked for money. But then she retired, You choose to be fired. She sucked on some wazzles. And swallowed some gloop. She once put a Who. In the hole where she pooped! But don't for a moment. Not even a tock. So I say with a song. Oh sexy porn exy. I'd Lexi your Bloom. Baffled. Just baffled.
He's fucking everywhere. Omg the jokes.
TIL BG. TIL TIL - Today I learned. Ironic.
At first I thought I was Bad Luck Brian; friends with porn star, gets no sex. But I graduated from the friend zone. Wait... You're name is Brian?? You've been lying to me all these months? Good thing I like your cock too much to put you back into the friend zone! ;)
Last updated: 2013-02-18 02:37 UTC
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