Everyday moms nude

2020.11.20 17:34 eminva02 Everyday moms nude

You can read my post history for the background. Trigger warning: child pornography and predatory behavior towards children.
I have CPTSD from childhood trauma. My mother died when I was 13, and it only added to my significant abandonment issues. After my mother died, I felt abandoned by whole communities and families.
I never wanted my child to be alone like that. I verbalized to my brothers and friends and family that the best thing they could ever do for me is be there for my kid if I couldn't. I told them that the best way to love me, was to love my kid more. If someone said they owed me, I told them to pay it back to my kid when I'm gone.
When I met my husband, he presented as so normal. His family was impressive. His parents still being together was enough to enamor me. His mom had written books about how God had saved her from a bad home life and rewarded her with a beautiful family. They had four children. All perfectly blonde. All homeschooled and grown into, outwardly, beautiful adults. As my relationship with my husband grew , I began to day dream about his parents loving me like one of their own and being accepted into the fold. I was naive, and believed a mother-in-law was my last chance at having a mother.
When I got pregnant, I thought my child was beyond blessed to have such wonderful grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Damn, I was so stupid. They are none of that. Not one single one of them.
My husband is no longer in the picture. He made a very sudden exit when I discovered a video from a hidden camera, taken in our bathroom of my 14 year old niece, nude. He left for work one morning, last January, and never got to come back again. I called the police immediately, because I knew if he came home I would kill him and I didn't want that for LO. There is a protective order keeping is him from us. My child has not seen him since. This week he pled guilty to 8 felonies ( I'm a little scatterbrained atm, that number could be off by +/-1) related to the production and pocession of child pornography.
My(adoptive) father died this June after being ravaged by ALS. I am struggling to find my footing as a single parent. My husband was the sole support of our family and cut me off financially when he had to leave. My kid and I are grieving. We have both lost so much. I drag through everyday, but I get her through virtual school and homework. I read with her and I hold her. I answer her questions as honestly and as gingerly as possible. I don't give her extra details or keep her apprised of the day to day drama. We are both in therapy. Us being ok is my focus right now.
But.... I had hoped to maintain relationships with my husband's family for my kid. In the course of our marriage my husband stopped having relationships with his siblings. I begged him to fix it for LO. He said his siblings were horrible people and he couldn't tolerate them anymore. We would see his parents, but his mother blamed me for her kids not having relationships and became more and more toxic. I avoided her for a full year before I caught him.
I've tried to talk to my in-laws since my husband left our home (he is currently on house arrest at his parents house). They are insensitive and demanding. All I want is common courtesy. You can't have access to my child of you can't even speak to me appropriately? His sisters have taken turns being vile. All I have asked is for space to heal and we can work out relationships after the criminal process is concluded.
I am very shut down and not on social media, right now. There is a very small number of people I respond to messages from. I am drained. There are members of my own family I don't have the energy to talk to. His one sister sent me all types of messages on facebook. I never answered and my silence spurred her to insanity. She sent me all these messages about how she just wanted to give LO presents(they have my address/ LO gets anything that is sent ). She said lots about my character and how I should've just cooperated with my husband and I wouldn't be so worried about money. She wants me to ignore the protective order. I've ignored her.
But now I want to reach back out to his other (slightly saner) sister.... Why? Because I want them to understand that I'm not trying to withhold my child. I am trying to keep her out of the fray. I am trying to help her heal. Intellectually, I know they will just drag me through the mud some more. But I can't help wanting my kid to have her grandparents. My Dad is gone. How much more can a little heart lose?
I just don't understand why I can't let them go. They are hateful and toxic. They are not the type of people that I want in LOs life. So why do I care? Why do I cling to who I wanted them to be? Why can't I just accept that my kid doesn't get that biological family? I know we can build our own, so why can't I move on?
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2020.11.19 00:31 IamKami999 Moms everyday nude

Ex best friend
Hey, so recently both of my friends left me. One of their names is Hannah and one is Ava. I have no one to talk about this to so ig im here...
Anyways me and Hannah have been friends since grade 6, and she has changed a lot since then. And it’s kinda hard moving on since me and her aren’t friends anymore well let me tell you my story.
Hannah In 8th grade had sex with the guy she has been dating for a few months and she swore to me she didn’t (I was wondering if she did or not because there was a rumour at school and I was standing up to her and her bf was the one who said they had sex which is true) later one she tells me they had sex and idc about it lol. Her bf was ashamed to date her, he broke up with her bc she was suicidal, he pressured her into doing things and she did everything for him not to leave it was toxic and horrible and she was so clingy. Me and her had plans during lunch to go out and she would ditch me to go out with him and go to his house to have sex. At that point I didn’t have many friends because they didn’t like Hannah so ppl left me. I was there for her when no one was. I always listened to her problems yet... she never listened to mine.
Me and her would go out and steal and ngl those days were fun. But me and her started drifting because she wanted to come over to my house and I wasn’t sure how to tell her that my house wasn’t nice, she thought I had a nice house bc it’s big from the outside and it’s not in the inside but I couldn’t tell her that she wouldn’t understand. So I said no and she got mad at me and started ignoring me. And it kinda hurt because she wouldn’t understand, she said her fam was broke but they had a small but really nice apartment. Anyways me and her started drifting I also had her backup phone and I broke the screen so I told her she said I had around 2 months to get the money to fix it. Then a week later she said her mom was going to talk to my mom if I didn’t give Hannah the money but I didn’t owe Hannah money I owed her a new screen so I went out and got it fixed and she was being so mean and saying she couldn’t come but eventually we met up and she said thank you in a bitchy tone and I went home.
Me, Hannah and Ava used to always hang out but then on social media I started seeing Hannah only hanging with Ava and it hurt my feelings a lot. I blocked her and everything but I can’t get over it. It hurts a lot because me and her have been friends for 5 years and I’m not sure how to deal with it. Yeah I wasn’t the bestest friend but I tried my best yk? I have strict parents so I can’t go out everyday and she didn’t understand that. And I prefer being home in my room. None of them would understand. Ava was nice but she never texts me but I know she’s going through things and I tried my best being there for her but it was obviously not good enough. So now, I’m friendless. Alone, like usually.
Thank you for reading this, you prob didn’t though so I guess I’m ranting. I didn’t tell my entire friendship there were so many other events that fucked with me but it’s too long to write. Hannah was a bad friend in a way, she pressured me into doing drugs and I said no, she sent my ex bf nudes (she had my account and while me and him were texting she sent her ass which fucked with me a lot but I never confronted it) she would call me lame for not staying out for a long time but she didn’t understand my dad would hit me if I didn’t come home on time...
I made her cookies, and wrote her a letter when she came out of the hospital (she tried killing her self over a girl that was best friends with her bf. And she continues being friends with that girl and she slept over at the girls house before it’s so confusing) I just don’t understand what I did wrong...
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2020.11.13 22:34 peanuthailie How do I break up with my abusive boyfriend of 3 years.

I’ve never posted before so I’m not exactly sure how to go about this, but here it goes.
-PLEASE SOMEONE READ AND GIVE ADVICE.- I’m sorry this is going to be long, I appreciate any advice and anyone who reads it all.)
We started dating my sophomore year of high school, when I was 15F and he was 16M. I am 19 now and he’s about to turn 20. For the first year of our relationship everything was okay, it was a normal first love in high school relationship. He definitely was my first love. A little after the first year I moved in with him and his family (stupid decision I know, my life at home was tough so I thought it was a good choice, I was wrong.) and everything started going downhill. I started finding out about a lot of things he hid from me through the whole first year, silly things and big things. silly things as in things no one should lie about, like simply hanging out with friends but tells me he’s at home about to go to sleep. big things as in doing drugs he definitely should not be doing with these friends and lying about it later when I find out. Then later on he’d eventually apologize and say he didn’t tell me or lied because he didn’t want me to be mad or upset. I was still in love with him and thought I was going to marry him someday throughout all of this because I was young and naive. I genuinely thought I wanted to stay with him through everything till I really came to a realization about it a few weeks ago. But here’s some more back story because it went way more downhill from there.
so, eventually he decided he wanted to drop out of high school. Truly there was no reason, he just stopped going. said he didn’t like school and it wasn’t for him. I totally understand that because I know there are careers and things you can do to make decent money without school, but he has done nothing. He’s had three different jobs because he’s gotten fired from the last two, because he calls out frequently or doesn’t show up and comes up with excuses. With his current job he constantly calls out or gets people to cover his shifts because he’s “anxious about working. All he’s done the past two years is stay home, play video games, and lost all of his friends by being dicks to them. (come to find out he blamed on me and told them I made him say no or stay home, which is not true.)
On my end though, I’ve had a solid job for two years and am working 9-5 Monday-Friday to save for a car because I’m about to go to college. I want a good life for myself and a fun “living my best life in my youth” experience so college has always been something I was going to do (i’m going this coming fall, I took a gap year to save money while working everyday) His family is very toxic to me (specifically his mom, he is a mommy’s boy and his mom definitely takes advantage of that). so i want to get the heck out of here for good. When I go to college I plan on moving out and getting my own place with some roommates since i’ll still be working through out college.
To top it all off he has bad anger issues and I think bipolar disorder. When he’s mad he’ll say terrible things or tell me to stay at my parents, and he gets upset over the smallest things. If I said the things he says to me when he’s upset back to him, he would flip out. yet it’s somehow okay for him to say those things. also, getting darker, a few months ago I believe July 1st 2020 he was really drunk and I somehow made him mad by saying something he didn’t like and he blew up screaming at me to leave and stay at my parents or he’ll physically remove me (mind you he literally was giving me no time at all, it was about 8am, i don’t have a car, so i had to wait for someone to wake up so i wasn’t sure when i’d be able to leave. but that wasn’t good enough for him.) he basically ended up storming upstairs and beating me up. - pulled me by my hair onto the ground, hit me with a closed fist on my ear multiple times which ruptured my eardrum. punched my back, my legs, tried to hit my butt but i stupidly stopped him by putting my hands there so he ended up hurting my hand on ‘accident’. all while saying terrible things about me, such as: i’m a piece of shit, I need to get the fuck out, he fucking hates me, he can’t stand me anymore, i’m fucking stupid and a worthless piece of dirt, i’m an ugly fat bitch, etc. he had started being mentally abusive at the beginning of 2020, and a couple months after that had started being physically abusive like slapping my face or trying to kick me knees, pouring food on me or spitting in my face, but it never was at this extent. (I know that is still bad, I was just blinded by thinking I loved him and not knowing what to do.) After the July 1st incident I left for a few days and stupidly came back. Nothing has been the same since for me. He seems fine and content but I feel no love for him and no interest in him. He hasn’t been physical since that incident, but he is still mentally abusive and says terrible things and will blow up my phone and threaten to break my stuff when he’s angry. It’s November 2020 now, getting closer to when I’ll be finding out what college i’m going to and getting a car and moving out. I feel bad and guilty for saying I love you to him when he says it and for still being here, I don’t really have a choice till I’m able to leave in June/July.
When I do leave, what do I say? Do I explain why over text? I think that’d be safest. I’m scared of what he’ll say or do if or when I break up with him. I care about him because he was my first love. I feel bad about wanting to break up when I leave for college, but I just want to be single again. We don’t do anything together, we don’t hangout, he’s not affectionate anymore (that stopped about a year ago). How do I break it off? I’m scared he’ll leak my nudes I sent him throughout our relationship, or do something crazier like send them to my family members. I have no clue honestly, I’m just scared of what he’ll do or how he’ll react, if he’ll try to screw me over some how. Please give any advice or anything that would be helpful especially if you’ve been in a bad relationship like this that started so good but ended so terribly. I don’t know how to end it when I am finally able to leave and I really just need any smart and mature advice on how and what to do. Thank you guys in advance.
submitted by peanuthailie to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]


2020.11.13 22:34 peanuthailie How do I break up with my boyfriend of 3 years, should I?

I’ve never posted before so I’m not exactly sure how to go about this, but here it goes.
-PLEASE SOMEONE READ AND GIVE ADVICE.- I’m sorry this is going to be long, I appreciate any advice and anyone who reads it all.)
We started dating my sophomore year of high school, when I was 15F and he was 16M. I am 19 now and he’s about to turn 20. For the first year of our relationship everything was okay, it was a normal first love in high school relationship. He definitely was my first love. A little after the first year I moved in with him and his family (stupid decision I know, my life at home was tough so I thought it was a good choice, I was wrong.) and everything started going downhill. I started finding out about a lot of things he hid from me through the whole first year, silly things and big things. silly things as in things no one should lie about, like simply hanging out with friends but tells me he’s at home about to go to sleep. big things as in doing drugs he definitely should not be doing with these friends and lying about it later when I find out. Then later on he’d eventually apologize and say he didn’t tell me or lied because he didn’t want me to be mad or upset. I was still in love with him and thought I was going to marry him someday throughout all of this because I was young and naive. I genuinely thought I wanted to stay with him through everything till I really came to a realization about it a few weeks ago. But here’s some more back story because it went way more downhill from there.
so, eventually he decided he wanted to drop out of high school. Truly there was no reason, he just stopped going. said he didn’t like school and it wasn’t for him. I totally understand that because I know there are careers and things you can do to make decent money without school, but he has done nothing. He’s had three different jobs because he’s gotten fired from the last two, because he calls out frequently or doesn’t show up and comes up with excuses. With his current job he constantly calls out or gets people to cover his shifts because he’s “anxious about working. All he’s done the past two years is stay home, play video games, and lost all of his friends by being dicks to them. (come to find out he blamed on me and told them I made him say no or stay home, which is not true.)
On my end though, I’ve had a solid job for two years and am working 9-5 Monday-Friday to save for a car because I’m about to go to college. I want a good life for myself and a fun “living my best life in my youth” experience so college has always been something I was going to do (i’m going this coming fall, I took a gap year to save money while working everyday) His family is very toxic to me (specifically his mom, he is a mommy’s boy and his mom definitely takes advantage of that). so i want to get the heck out of here for good. When I go to college I plan on moving out and getting my own place with some roommates since i’ll still be working through out college.
To top it all off he has bad anger issues and I think bipolar disorder. When he’s mad he’ll say terrible things or tell me to stay at my parents, and he gets upset over the smallest things. If I said the things he says to me when he’s upset back to him, he would flip out. yet it’s somehow okay for him to say those things. also, getting darker, a few months ago I believe July 1st 2020 he was really drunk and I somehow made him mad by saying something he didn’t like and he blew up screaming at me to leave and stay at my parents or he’ll physically remove me (mind you he literally was giving me no time at all, it was about 8am, i don’t have a car, so i had to wait for someone to wake up so i wasn’t sure when i’d be able to leave. but that wasn’t good enough for him.) he basically ended up storming upstairs and beating me up. - pulled me by my hair onto the ground, hit me with a closed fist on my ear multiple times which ruptured my eardrum. punched my back, my legs, tried to hit my butt but i stupidly stopped him by putting my hands there so he ended up hurting my hand on ‘accident’. all while saying terrible things about me, such as: i’m a piece of shit, I need to get the fuck out, he fucking hates me, he can’t stand me anymore, i’m fucking stupid and a worthless piece of dirt, i’m an ugly fat bitch, etc. he had started being mentally abusive at the beginning of 2020, and a couple months after that had started being physically abusive like slapping my face or trying to kick me knees, pouring food on me or spitting in my face, but it never was at this extent. (I know that is still bad, I was just blinded by thinking I loved him and not knowing what to do.) After the July 1st incident I left for a few days and stupidly came back. Nothing has been the same since for me. He seems fine and content but I feel no love for him and no interest in him. He hasn’t been physical since that incident, but he is still mentally abusive and says terrible things and will blow up my phone and threaten to break my stuff when he’s angry. It’s November 2020 now, getting closer to when I’ll be finding out what college i’m going to and getting a car and moving out. I feel bad and guilty for saying I love you to him when he says it and for still being here, I don’t really have a choice till I’m able to leave in June/July.
When I do leave, what do I say? Do I explain why over text? I think that’d be safest. I’m scared of what he’ll say or do if or when I break up with him. I care about him because he was my first love. I feel bad about wanting to break up when I leave for college, but I just want to be single again. We don’t do anything together, we don’t hangout, he’s not affectionate anymore (that stopped about a year ago). How do I break it off? I’m scared he’ll leak my nudes I sent him throughout our relationship, or do something crazier like send them to my family members. I have no clue honestly, I’m just scared of what he’ll do or how he’ll react, if he’ll try to screw me over some how. Please give any advice or anything that would be helpful especially if you’ve been in a bad relationship like this that started so good but ended so terribly. I don’t know how to end it when I am finally able to leave and I really just need any smart and mature advice on how and what to do. Thank you guys in advance.
submitted by peanuthailie to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.10 10:30 CorporateTingle Everyday moms nude

Well I'm new to the Moonhorse community and can thank my friend Molly for that, but I have several stories about the neckbeards in my life, and I have been meaning to submit them, and since I have a 8 hour overnight shift gives me plenty of time. The names of everyone in these stories will be changed to protect the innocent and the not so innocent. But for my first neckbeard story I'll start by talking about my friend, who for the sake of this story will we be calling Mufasa. If anyone is wondering why Mufasa it is because he at one point he wanted to have his beard and hair meeting to look like he had a lion's mane. He's moved on from that dream but compared to some other "dreams" he has, that wasn't even the worst. I met Mufasa in my senior year of high school. We took auto shop together. The auto shop department in my school was so small they merged the senior and junior classes together into one big class. Being a senior and having taken the first two auto classes the school offered, I already had my small group of people I worked with, we will be calling them Chauncey and Broccoli. For our first class project our teacher Mr.F, says to work in groups of 4. So of course my group would consist of myself, Chauncey, and Broccoli , but we need a 4th person, who walks over but none other than Mufasa. He doesn't really ask to join our group he just kind of stands next to us until Mr.F sees him next to us and writes down that he is part of our group. Right off the bat Mufasa starts kissing up to us, talking about how all the other juniors in the class are dumb, hes working with us because were smarter then them, and so on and so on. None of us thought twice about him either, at first seemed like a weird kid, but was nice so whatever right. Throughout the school year learned a lot about Mufasa, he gets angry easily, he's awkward, and he'll pretty much do anything you tell him to do. He had a really big zit on his neck, and Chauncey as a joke told him, tie a string around it and pull, the zit will pop right off. He did it and missed 3 days of school as he was too embarrassed to tell us. He cut the exhaust pipe off his truck because as a joke, Broccoli told him too,there's more of those stories but high school feels like it was so long ago, I can't remember all of the stories from back then, and I don't feel Mufasa truly grew into a neckbeard until after college. I feel the best way to describe Mufasa in neckbeard stories is to just go by each girl, he pursued, and Soccer Mom Now Soccer Mom was a girl Mufasa had been pursuing since high school. Just about everyday Mufasa would be texting in our group chat asking us how to respond to Soccer Mom's text, where should he take her on a date, should he make her pay, what should he wear etc. It got annoying but that's what friends are for right? He takes Soccer Mom on a date, to the movies, all day he has been texting us asking us questions. He goes on his date, and we get a text that night that reads "All I got was a hug." Chauncey responded with a "What" and Mufasa responded "We met at the movie theater, and she hugs me, and that was it, no kisses, none before or after, just a hug, I blew it tonight" We got several text messages like this about Soccer Mom, to the point where we wondered if he secretly wanted to blow it. She keeps going out with you dude, you must be doing something right, but in the end he wasn't as she eventually stopped talking to him, met someone else, got married, and had kids, and is a soccer mom now. Parkland Girl I don't remember much about this girl, she wasn't around long as she probably wasn't going to put up with his crap as long as Soccer Mom did, all I remember is she was from Parkland. Saturday night, Chauncey and myself are hanging out, we text Mufasa asking if he wants to join us, he responds with "No I might actually be getting a pee pee touch tonight." Now I'll admit Chauncey and I burst out laughing, because come on who calls it a pee pee touch? Now here's where it gets bad, I make a bet with Chauncey, $20 he blows it. Chauncey took that bet because someone had to have faith in him. We don't hear from Mufasa the rest of the night, I'm all set to give Chauncey $20, I text our group chat the next day asking Mufasa if he got his pee pee touch, he responded with "No pee pee touch" Of course Chauncey has to ask him what happened, I don't fully remember the full story but the gist of it is, they went back to her place, spent the night talking on her couch, she said she was tired and was going to bed, Mufasa thought going to bed translated to, come sleep with me, and got up headed towards her bedroom while undoing his pants on the way there before she kicked him out. Fast & Furious 7 We're going to take a break from the girl stories here to talk about a very specific night. Mufasa worked Friday nights, he never could hang out on Friday nights, and anytime we asked him to hang out on a Friday night he would start bitching "blah blah blah I told you guys I can't hang out tonight I'm working blah blah blah" so if Chauncey and I ever hung out on a Friday we wouldn't invite him. So this Friday Chauncey and I were out downtown at a barcade with some friends, One of our friends takes a picture of us all posting it on Snapchat or Facebook, I don't remember where exactly. Next thing you know Chauncey and I get a text to our group chat Mufasa: Where are you guys Me: Headquarters its a barcade out in Chicago Mufasa: Why didn't you guys invite me? Me: Its Friday you normally work Fridays Chauncey: Yea dude, everytime we ask if you want to hang on Fridays you tell us you're working and then start bitching Mufasa: Well I was but its nice to be invited still Chauncey: When do you get off work? We were going to see the new Fast & Furious movie but we can wait til you're off work Mufasa: I don't want a pity invite Me; Mufasa we'll pick you up, I'll buy your ticket, all you have to do is enjoy yourself Mufasa: No, I'm going to be too tired after work tonight, so have fun watching Fast & Furious 7, I guess I'll just go home and fast & furiously beat it 7 times tonight That is where that story ends, but this is when Mufasa starts using the phrase gaming and chill. Anytime we asked Mufasa if he wanted to hangout, at least 80% of the time he would respond with saying "No I'm going to game and chill tonight" It was funny anytime he said he was staying in to game and chill we never saw him online that night, which makes us think that was keyword for something else, I'll let you use your imagination.
Famous Daves Out by me there is a restaurant chain, called Famous Daves its a BBQ joint, me and my buddies used to go to frequently. Usually once month, Mufasa, Chauncey, our friend who we'll call Chewbacca, and myself would go a split a platter of ribs. Every month we would alternate who's turn it was to pay, tonight it was Mufasa's turn. Mufasa gets the bill, his total is $68.99, he tips the waitress 1 cent just so his total would be $69.00, and for some reason that was more important than the waitress getting a good tip, when he went to the bathroom all of us gave our waitress cash and apologized for Mufasa's 1 cent tip. After that we head on over to the movies, I can't remember what movie we saw, I fell asleep during it, and everything that happened before was probably better than the movie could've been.We arrive at the movie theater, first place we all go is to the bathroom. Now Chewbacca and Mufasa both need to use it, and there is only one stall, Chewbacca gets in first, and Mufasa in the bathroom just starts screaming "Come on Chewbacca hurry up, Power Shit! Power Shit!" over and over. I'm leaving the bathroom, and I can hear him through the door, everyone out there can hear this dude screaming power shit. So Chauncey and myself head to the theater taking our seats waiting on the two of them, Chewbacca comes back, few minutes later Mufasa comes back, and tell us the story of his bathroom experience "So I feel bad, I was in there taking a shit, and I heard someone walk in and grab a bunch of paper towels, I thought it was you guys coming to mess with me, so I screamed "You assholes better leave me alone or you'll be sorry!" Then on my way back to the theater I heard the janitor talking to someone saying he went to clean the mens room and some guy in the stall started yelling at him" For once the dude feels shame
Christmas I blame myself for this one, if it wasn't for me this girl would've never met Mufasa, she would never have gone through any of this. I had recently met a girl at a concert a month or so prior to all of this. One night she asked me if I have any single friends for her friend who we will call Christmas as her name translates into Christmas. Now after reading the previous stories you may wonder why would you be like oh yea my friend Mufasa is single, and I honestly don't know, but I ask him and of course he says yes. The four of us have dinner and decide to check out the band playing that night. While the band is playing the girl I was seeing and myself head out to the dance floor, we're dancing, and then the slow song starts playing, and then the cliche, her and I start slow dancing, we look into each other's eyes, we lean in and kiss. However it is a very short kiss, as I feel her being yanked away from me. I turn and see her friend Christmas grabbing her arm, she looks at her and says "We need to leave" then she turns to me and goes "your friend Mufasa is gross, disgusting, and a pervert" of course I ask her what did he do, so she tells me "He asked me if I wanted to dance, I told him no, then he said well you want to give me a blowjob?" Now at this point I am fuming because not only did he say something way out of line, he ruined my moment. So I go looking for him, I'm pissed so I find him at the bar wearing his Pickle Rick t shirt Me: What the fuck is wrong with you? Mufasa: (looks down) What I like this shirt Me: Not the shirt, you asked Christmas to give you a blowjob? Mufasa: Yea I took a shot Me: Did you think that would work? Mufasa: Yes Me: Why? In what world would that work, you just met this girl, you're wearing a Pickle Rick t shirt in public, she won't dance with you so you think she'll give you head, come on man Mufasa: Well I'm just sick of being the only person in the group who is still a virgin, like the fact that you can get laid and I can't Me: What is that supposed to mean? Mufasa: You're too chill to get laid I don't get it Me: And you're not chill enough Mufasa: No I'm trying Me: Trying what? To come off as a creep because asking a girl you just met for a blowjob is creepy This goes on for a bit and I'll admit I am paraphrasing here as I don't fully remember word for word what was said, I would love to say the girl stories end here but, oh no we have two more My Best Friend Now this next girl was my best friend from high school, we drifted apart from time to time, but we always would make it a point to hang out every now and then. Being my best friend from high school she would hang out with the guys and myself from time to time. All of us went to go see this band we all liked. We get in we head to the bar, while my best friend goes to buy a t shirt, Mufasa asks us "Is it just me or is Ting's best friend looking good tonight" and then my best friend bought Mufasa a beer, in Mufasa's mind that means, she is trying to get me drunk to sleep with me, she bought him one beer, he bought himself 4 more, but in his mind she wanted to get him drunk, to sleep with him? Come on man. He spends most of the night hitting on her, dancing on her, singing to her, and we all just kind of watched this train wreck, could've stepped in, but did we, no. Throughout the night my best friend kept trying to get away from Mufasa and gravitated towards Chauncey, the two of them sat at the bar and had a few drinks. Mufasa sees this and shuts down, walks over to the corner and sulks. Chewbacca and I walk over there, and do our best to cheer him up, get him to enjoy the rest of his night. I head back to the crowd keep listening to the band out of the corner of my eye, I can see Mufasa talking to a girl, I decide to walk over there, just in case he starts acting with this girl like he did with my best friend, and I have to admit, he was doing fine, he wasn't being creepy, he was having a normal conversation, he was doing good, then this guy in a wheelchair comes over, and grabs the girls hand and she lets us know this is her boyfriend. I can see the look of disappointment hit Mufasa's face, so we talk with them a little bit longer, then were getting ready to part ways, I turn around with Mufasa, we don't even take two steps, the two of them are right behind us and he screams at the top of his lungs "I CAN"T BELIEVE THAT FUCKING CRIPPLE HAS MORE GAME THAN I DO!" Of course my natural reaction is to shout back at him to shut the hell up. I wish this story ended here, but it doesn't. The car ride back, due to Chauncey and my best friend sharing drinks, and Mufasa getting himself drunk, Chewbacca and I get the joy of having to haul two drunk men into the car. We threw them both in the backseat which was a terrible idea, because they spent the whole night arguing over who could sleep with my best friend where I heard lines such as I'd have sex with her for $2 right now I'm going to take pictures of her pussy and send them to all of you She wants me she let me feel her boobies and they felt good, maybe it was her shoulder I don't know And of course the famous line we heard all night Pull over I have to puke! So in one of Mufasa's puke sessions he decides now would be a good time to pee, so he starts undoing his pants, I tell him to turn the other way or else we'll all see his dick Before I can finish that sentence Chancey looks out the window "Oh my God, Mufasa what the hell why is your penis so small? Like I've heard of micro penis but my God thats even smaller" Mufasa gets in the car and of course its rant time " Yea I have a small dick, ok, I can't helicopter spin it, and thats why I'm still a virgin no girl wants a guy with a small dick, big dicks are all girls want, only way to have sex with a samll dick is to get married, because then they are stuck with your tiny dick" I'm glad he passed out after that because my God all of us wanted to just lay into him, like this pity party is not helping you, on top of you being creepy with girls you like. We called his sister and she helped us get his ass in the house, Woke up the next morning like nothing from last night happened and we still don't talk about that night. Music Teacher I feel this is the worst, this was just the worst Mufasa had been, he had just started growing his beard around this time, and oh boy did it show in more ways than one. Music teacher was a friend of my at the time girlfriend. Music Teacher was a girl who got around and she had no problem letting people know. My girlfriend at the time suggested we set up Mufasa with Music Teacher, now if you remember our previous story that seems like the worst idea, but for some reason I asked him, and without hesitation he said yes. Now for some reason we decided to make a group chat consisting of Music Teacher, my girlfriend at the time, Chauceny, Chewbacca, Mufasa, and myself. Now in this group chat Mufasa wasted no time, asking Music Teacher for pictures screenshotting any picture she sent, telling her shes so beautiful, etc but the feeling was never mutual, and she made it known in the group chat, where she called Mufasa things like a condom fail, 40yr old virgin, and that if she were to ever marry him it would be just to divorce him and take half his stuff. Now I would hope that most of you if someone were to say these horrible things to you, that would be a sign to stay the fuck away, it wasn't for Mufasa, he kept trying. So we decide to plan a day for all of us to hang out, we decide we will grab dinner at a Buffalo Wild Wings that night. Mufasa feels the need in the groupchat to ask Music Teacher to send him nudes. How does she respond? She sends everyone in the group chat except Mufasa a nude picture with the caption "Let Mufasa know I sent this to everyone but him" We tell him but hes still not listening to us, still thinking him and music teacher are going to be together someday. Mufasa picks us all up, and we head on out to BWW, The entire night Music Teacher is ripping Mufasa to shreds, in front of everyone, and its at the point where all of us have enough of it. Chauncey starts ripping Music Teacher down, and starts defending Mufasa. How does Mufasa respond? He starts attacking Chauncey, for saying terrible things about Music Teacher, she spends the whole night ripping you, and when someone finally had enough of it, and goes back at this girl, you're going to defend her? Alright at that point we all gave up, he wasn't going to listen to us, and we had to let him learn. The check comes and he pays for everyone wanting to play hotshot, and after he pays he looks Music Teacher in the eye and 3 times says "Hey baby you want some fuck" she then laughs at him gets up and starts flirting with Chewbacca in front of him. Dude still doesn't get it, we drive back he keeps saying he thinks he can do this, shes playing hard to get, and no matter what we say, That night Mufasa goes on Facebook and Instagram and likes every single picture that Music Teacher ever posted. Shocker, she has never talked to him or any of us again. Now this is the final story as its been over 3 hours of writing this, so I think its time to wrap it up Mufasa seemed to be doing good for himself, he got a new job, new truck, he moved out of his parents house, bought a house with his sister, things seemed to be going good for him, and the rest of us seem to be doing well, in this time Chauncey got married,had kids, bought a house, Chewbacca and I got new jobs, things were going well, but Mufasa will always find something to complain about everyday, whether it be a fight he had with a coworker, an issue with his house, or something that he saw on Facebook. Then 2020 came along, and Chauncey's wife lost her job, leaving Chauncey as the sole provider of his household, and he had it with Mufasa's bitching. Mufasa had been bitching about who knows what anymore, Chauncey goes back at him talking about his problems, and Mufasa's response, "Why are you trying to one up me, on who has it worse?" Chauncey retorts with "Because you have a good job, no kids, and you're single, I'm struggling everyday, and you don't hear me bitch all the time, think of all the good things you have man" And Mufasa replies the only way Mufasa can "Well things can't be that bad for you, you're still getting pussy" And I think I'll end it there, I still talk to Mufasa, I don't know if Chauncey had a private talk with him, or if something happened but he doesn't seem to bitch about everything anymore. Moral of the story kids count your blessings, and don't be a creep
submitted by CorporateTingle to MoonhorseStories [link] [comments]


2020.11.06 22:00 JumpingInRewind Everyday moms nude

I won't go into detail. I can't go into detail but its eating me alive.
From the age of 5ish my life seemed to have just been met with darkness. I'm not saying this to be edgy. I don't know if its normal to wind up in as many bad places I have, but I just i'll just unload it here. I can't tell a therapist or an adult because I would have to go to the police, something I don't want to do. Here is a trigger warning, as I don't want to hurt anyone.
I think the first time was with my best friend. At a sleepover. We didn't know what we were doing but ended up having sex despite my saying no. It was one time and we remained friends after wards. Then her brother. At her house. I was 6 and he was 14. We were playing hide and seek and whilst I was in the bathtub, he came in and. Yeah. I cried a lot but ended up staying the whole time. I didn't go home early, I just had to see him the entire time and say nothing. The next time happened the same year. This boy I was friends with told me I was his girlfriend to which I kept telling him I wasn't. Then he told me that he saw his mom and dad do things and so we had to do them too. I said no but eventually went along with it and we had sex in the bathroom of the summer camp everyday for a week until he stopped coming. Then the big things started happening. A girl I was friends with and happened to do a few extra curricular's with took me into the locker room and touched me, it happened a lot, and it got to the point where I started throwing up so that my mom wouldn't make me go to the classes where she would be. Around this time, a girl I'd met in third grade started to get closer to me. We were best friends actually. Thats when it happened and I woke up to her taking pornographic photos of me while I slept. It was right after I escaped the previous girl too. I asked her about it but she denied it. This grew into black mailing, where she would tell me she would send the nudes to the entire school if I didn't send her more. She started also having sex with me on top of that, ignoring when I said no. I said yes once hoping to get her off my back but then she said that by consenting once I consented forever. Then, when I refused to video call her and do the things she requested, she lost it. She posted the pictures to an app and wouldn't take them down until I threatened to call the police. I then found out she was sending the pictures to people anyway. Is it normal to have this much trauma under your belt? Was what happened r@pe? I don't know if I want to know. I had other relationships in the mix, 4-5 others, some of which were abusive. I don't know how to cope because even with all the people telling me it wasn't my fault, my own parents think that it was. I feel so bad. All of these people are free now, and I don't know if I'm the only one. I need advice, or something. I'm not even sure what honestly.
-L
submitted by JumpingInRewind to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.11.06 18:05 AdityaWav Nude moms everyday

HABIT CHECKUP:

FEELINGS ABOUT THE DAY:
First of all in the morning after coming from walk I got into a serious fight with mom. But later it cooled down. Then comes the guilty part yesterday I had to submit an assignment which was ready, I just had to change the file name and submit it, but I didn't I submitted it today having the late mark. And yesterday I started wolf of the wall street and got some unexpected upper half nudes, but today when I wanted to complete that what I discovered there were full nudes too. I mean like really, nudes in a movie. Fuck off you director. And I am so sure that this is fucking reason because of which today all day long I just wanted to fap, to see some nude stuff. And I turned that movie atleast 5-10 times to see those scenes, but everytime I had to stop just before fapping due some reason. This was the god's grace that he helped me to not fap- to stop me everytime I wanted to do so by introducing something and else again and again. Otherwise the day was good.
SCORE:(7/3/1)
submitted by AdityaWav to getdisciplined [link] [comments]


2020.11.05 07:37 itWazRealIG Everyday moms nude

I don't know what to do. The last time I felt suicidal was over a year ago. I want to die, but I can't and it fucking sucks. I don't even know where I should begin. For context, I am a 17 year old female in my senior year of high school. School has always been my "happy place" for as long as I can remember since it lets me escape my home. My school just recently started hybrid a few weeks ago (I physically go to school Monday and Tuesday and participate in school virtually Thursday and Friday), but it isn't the same. I miss being able to meet up at my locker in the mornings, walk to the bus lot after school with my group of friends, visit teachers before class starts, chill in the library during lunch, sit with friends at lunch. I miss clubs, spirit week, homecoming, pep rallies, volunteering. I miss everything. Growing up, I never got along with my dad, and recently he has been manipulative and mentally abusive to my mom. He is extremely controlling and it has escalated to the point where my mom and family feel as though he may kill her. I know he isn't acting that way toward me and I shouldn't feel depressed over it, but I do. I hate being home and stay secluded in my room at all times. Back in July, I got a boyfriend. He graduated that year and was the first guy that I felt comfortable with dating since my extremely toxic ex I dated back in freshman year. I was terrified of opening up to someone after my ex, but I tried my damnedest to get to the point where I could trust and feel comfortable around him. I felt so vulnerable, but I trusted him. I eventually got to the point to where I was able to have sex, which was incredible considering I honestly didn't think I would be able to due to past trauma. We spent a lot of time together leading up to the day he had to move to his dorm about an hour away, and before he left, he promised to talk to me and play games with me everyday. After he moved, he started taking longer and longer to reply and giving shorter responses. I figured he was just busy and stressed due to the big move, but once it got to the point where he wouldn't respond for over a day, I confronted him. We talked about it and tried to make things work, but I ultimately broke up with him and asked to still be friends due to his lack of effort. He ended up ghosting me and long story short, I have reason to believe he fell for someone else. During this time, my best friend stopped talking to me. She got a job and made a lot of friends. I was so happy for her, but she started growing distant and would often say things that really hurt me when we did actually talk. Today she reached out to me out of the blue, and I guess our friendship is officially over. She was the closest I've ever gotten to somebody, and it just really really sucks. Two weeks ago I hung out with someone I considered to be a very close friend at the mall. He told me a lot of concerning stuff, including the fact that he was planning on raping me that day. He then kept saying he was going to kill himself and strongly suggested that if I had sex with him he wouldn't. He's been trying to pressure me to send nudes for a couple of months, but I've always just ignored it because I care about him and generally enjoyed our friendship. I agreed to have sex because I didn't want him to hurt himself. The day we were supposed to do it, I had a doctor's appointment that lasted too long, so I had to cancel because it would have been too late by the time I got to his house. After I realized I wouldn't be having sex that day, I freaked out and stopped talking to him for a week. He's been messaging me and calling me everyday up until yesterday when I finally responded, telling him I was sorry and I didn't want to have sex. I explained how I felt pressured, and he told me that he would have understood if I just told the truth and that I made his whole week shit because he worried about me. I genuinely feel really bad, but at the same time, for a while i did tell him I didn't want to have sex, but he kept asking and saying it would keep him from killing himself. I feel awful for leading him on and ghosting him like my boyfriend ghosted me and making him worry, but at the same time I feel disgusted with him when I remember why I had agreed in the first place. At this moment he is saying he can't wait to die and how I'm making it so much easier for him and I don't know what to fucking do. I really really don't. I'm not going to kill myself even though I really really want to right now. I can't leave my little sister in my house alone with my parents. It's not fair to her.
tl;dr: I miss school, my dad sucks and is a manipulative bastard, my boyfriend ghosted me, I lost my best friend, and someone I considered a really close friend wanted to rape me, has asked for sex to keep him from committing suicide, and is threatening suicide at this very moment. Oh. And I want to fucking die :)
any advice is appreciated, sorry this is so long, I just really needed to vent
submitted by itWazRealIG to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2020.11.05 04:49 itWazRealIG Nude moms everyday

I don't know what to do. The last time I felt suicidal was over a year ago. I want to die, but I can't and it fucking sucks. I don't even know where I should begin. For context, I am a 17 year old female in my senior year of high school. School has always been my "happy place" for as long as I can remember since it lets me escape my home. My school just recently started hybrid a few weeks ago (I physically go to school Monday and Tuesday and participate in school virtually Thursday and Friday), but it isn't the same. I miss being able to meet up at my locker in the mornings, walk to the bus lot after school with my group of friends, visit teachers before class starts, chill in the library during lunch, sit with friends at lunch. I miss clubs, spirit week, homecoming, pep rallies, volunteering. I miss everything. Growing up, I never got along with my dad, and recently he has been manipulative and mentally abusive to my mom. He is extremely controlling and it has escalated to the point where my mom and family feel as though he may kill her. I know he isn't acting that way toward me and I shouldn't feel depressed over it, but I do. I hate being home and stay secluded in my room at all times. Back in July, I got a boyfriend. He graduated that year and was the first guy that I felt comfortable with dating since my extremely toxic ex I dated back in freshman year. I was terrified of opening up to someone after my ex, but I tried my damnedest to get to the point where I could trust and feel comfortable around him. I felt so vulnerable, but I trusted him. I eventually got to the point to where I was able to have sex, which was incredible considering I honestly didn't think I would be able to due to past trauma. We spent a lot of time together leading up to the day he had to move to his dorm about an hour away, and before he left, he promised to talk to me and play games with me everyday. After he moved, he started taking longer and longer to reply and giving shorter responses. I figured he was just busy and stressed due to the big move, but once it got to the point where he wouldn't respond for over a day, I confronted him. We talked about it and tried to make things work, but I ultimately broke up with him and asked to still be friends due to his lack of effort. He ended up ghosting me and long story short, I have reason to believe he fell for someone else. During this time, my best friend stopped talking to me. She got a job and made a lot of friends. I was so happy for her, but she started growing distant and would often say things that really hurt me when we did actually talk. Today she reached out to me out of the blue, and I guess our friendship is officially over. She was the closest I've ever gotten to somebody, and it just really really sucks. Two weeks ago I hung out with someone I considered to be a very close friend at the mall. He told me a lot of concerning stuff, including the fact that he was planning on raping me that day. He then kept saying he was going to kill himself and strongly suggested that if I had sex with him he wouldn't. He's been trying to pressure me to send nudes for a couple of months, but I've always just ignored it because I care about him and generally enjoyed our friendship. I agreed to have sex because I didn't want him to hurt himself. The day we were supposed to do it, I had a doctor's appointment that lasted too long, so I had to cancel because it would have been too late by the time I got to his house. After I realized I wouldn't be having sex that day, I freaked out and stopped talking to him for a week. He's been messaging me and calling me everyday up until yesterday when I finally responded, telling him I was sorry and I didn't want to have sex. I explained how I felt pressured, and he told me that he would have understood if I just told the truth and that I made his whole week shit because he worried about me. I genuinely feel really bad, but at the same time, for a while i did tell him I didn't want to have sex, but he kept asking and saying it would keep him from killing himself. I feel awful for leading him on and ghosting him like my boyfriend ghosted me and making him worry, but at the same time I feel disgusted with him when I remember why I had agreed in the first place. At this moment he is saying he can't wait to die and how I'm making it so much easier for him and I don't know what to fucking do. I really really don't. I'm not going to kill myself even though I really really want to right now. I can't leave my little sister in my house alone with my parents. It's not fair to her.
tl;dr: I miss school, my dad sucks and is a manipulative bastard, my boyfriend ghosted me, I lost my best friend, and someone I considered a really close friend wanted to rape me, has asked for sex to keep him from committing suicide, and is threatening suicide at this very moment. Oh. And I want to fucking die :)
any advice is appreciated, sorry this is so long, I just really needed to vent
submitted by itWazRealIG to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.11.04 05:34 tragicsleeper Moms everyday nude

35/f. I'm using a new name because he might know the other. It's been a year and a half with no contact. He was sexually and mentally abusive but I was with him for ten years. 22-32. I loved him so much but he didn't care. I did things I hated for him. I traveled across the country to sleep with other men, because he liked it. I slept with other guys in front of him because that's what he wanted. I got depressed and he dumped me for it, several times. He would drop me off at my moms and break up with me there. Then I would beg for him back and it was like this for ten years. He cheated on me twice, and the final time is the girl he's with now. They've been together almost three years. By that time with us he would have already broken up with me twice and taken me to a mental hospital. By that time i had posted nudes online and slept with a couple other guys for him, literally risking my life one time with a drug dealer.
It's especially hard for me because he has a vlog on youtubbe. I can see his new apartment, girlfriend, dogs, etc. The things we bought together in the background. It's SO hard to not look. They're such shitty videos but he has followers because he was in a famous film. My favorite film, actually. It's how we met... I looked him up and a few other people that were kids in the film on myspace. He's ruined so much for me. I had a panic attack at Universal Studios because they play the main song from the film in the park. He talked to me for over a year while with the girl he's with now... through secret text. He kept stringing me along and I had to hear about his new g/f..... while I was suicidal in bed crying everyday. Then I finally snapped... He started to get mean, I called out his abuse on facebook and twitter. He threatened to sue me for defimation of character (lol right.... I happen to have a lot of "witnesses" who know he's a cuck... almost every guy friend he had, he'd ask to fuck me...but they all sided with him anyways so I took it all down and called a truce). I fucking hate him so goddamn much... but I just want closure and I know I'll never get it... he's the most narcissistic person I've ever met. Yet I miss him. I miss being in stupid youtube videos with the guy that was in my favorite film. I miss going to conventions and bragging about him being an actor and knowing famous people... even though he was a jerk to MAIN star of the film later on... but i had something interesting to tell people, now I'm just a boring regular girl that struggles to get followers on instagram. I hate how popular he is... he doesn't deserve shit.
Sorry for my rant and I'm on mobile and I'm just super lonely and any message would be appreciated. If you read all this you are amazing and I love you.
submitted by tragicsleeper to ExNoContact [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 17:32 Feelingwortjless Everyday moms nude

I’ve been feeling like I can’t function properly and everyday I feel terrible. I guy I met online that I liked and sent him pictures/videos/livestream together, (I was topless in a thong) some with my face in it I think.
He wanted a really explicit video of me touching myself but I couldn’t do it and he got so mad and threatened to ruin my life with the stuff I had sent unless I sent him money. He wanted access to my Snapchat (it was a fake one) and I just remembered recently there may have been full nudes on there from when I was underage in the memories (I am not sure, back from when I did “body checks” they weren’t sexual I can’t remember if I deleted them) I panicked and did anything he said (promote a livestream advertising explicit private livestream, but obviously I couldn’t do full nudity so I went topless acting like a total idiot (I had to have a few drinks) guys stopped sending money for the group cause they were unsatisfied. So he made me create an Onlyfans which he could use. I was to promote it as really explicit but it was just bikini pics, feet pics. Nobody wanted to re-sub for the next month so that fucker posted the stuff I sent him privately in the messages. I was able to have the account deleted. I am scared people are using my pictures and videos. This all happened in like the span of 5 weeks and it’s been a long time but I can’t recover.. I really want to die I have been ripping out my hair and not eating. I am scared I will never have a boyfriend, never have a career.
It’s hard I am a feminist and I am for free the nipple and stuff but for some reason I shame and hate myself.
Thank you for listening. I keep venting on reddit I’m sorry thank god for my mom she has been so supportive
submitted by Feelingwortjless to helpme [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 08:04 r9440 I'm at breaking point with being a woman.

The trigger was a falling out with two of my closest guy friends, X and Y, 3 weeks ago during a game of fortnite. We’re 26-28 and were friends for 6 years. During the last few games, we started screen-sharing our daily bagels (from Coffee Meets Bagels) with each other for each other’s opinions on whether to swipe or not. This inevitably consisted of judging the profiles and looks of men and women we came across on our apps. On that day, while playing fortnite Y said that the female profile (that he was sharing) looked like my cousin, A (they both knew her). The conversation went like that:
Y: hey don’t you think that this girl looks like A? X: she looks like she works in ZZ (a famous building known for prostitutes and escorts) *laughs Y: that’s damn bad of you Me: what? X: what? Your cousin works in ZZ? *laughs Me: huh? What? My cousin works in ZZ? X: you have a cousin who works in ZZ? Me: that’s not funny, are you saying A works in ZZ? X: you were the one who said you have a cousin who works in ZZ. Me: no, I didn’t say that, what the hell? Why would I say that?
There was some sniggering from X and Y and I let it go since I was focusing on trying to kill someone in Fortnite. When that was over and we were merely running in Fortnite, I told X to never joke about my cousin that way or our friendship is over. This escalated into a series of responses (that stood out to me) which I’ve ruminated over the past three weeks along with other experiences I’ve had with men.

  1. X said my reaction was unfair to him. He said I reacted the way I did because she was my cousin and he’s sure she would understand if he told her about the joke because they’re friends, and it’s precisely because they’re friends that he could joke about her in that manner.
I can’t remember exactly what I said in the heat of the moment. I remember asking him how he would feel if I talked about his mother in that way, which in hindsight was only reinforcing his point that I was overreacting because she was simply my cousin. I have a lot of afterthoughts: firstly, you don’t get a pass at being sexist just because you have a female friend in the same way as how you don’t get to be racist if you have a friend of a different race. Secondly, no self-respecting woman would not be offended at such a joke about her, especially when they know A to be a devout Christian. Thirdly, how dare they tell me how A would feel about this! How can they mansplain a woman’s feelings to another woman who told them that A won’t take it that way? Also, he gaslighted me and made me feel as if I were the one who said A works in AA by framing my question as a statement.
  1. Y said I’m sensitive to ‘matters like these’.
He is correct. I’m aware of ‘matters like these’ because I’m negatively reminded that I’m a woman every day. But calling me ‘sensitive’ insinuates that I’m overreacting when other women don’t respond like this if they were put in the same situation. It also downplays the plight women go through and invalidates my opinion. Why am I being punished for being outspoken about it just because it doesn’t fit your androcentric experience of life? Anything that doesn’t invalidate your experience is an overreaction. You don’t get to discount my experience as an overreaction just because you don’t experience the same.
  1. Y said that in the long-run of our friendship, this shouldn’t matter. He’s asking me to let it go.
Why should I be the one expected to let such comments slide? Why couldn’t Y tell X to stop making them? Why should I be expected to put up with such behaviour and when I don’t, the blame is on me?
  1. X said he will stop making such comments in front of me since it bothers me.
I cannot fathom how they don’t get that I’m uncomfortable about their general misogyny and not just because the comment was about my cousin. They might as well be degrading me behind my back and still have the cheek to talk to me as if nothing happened. How can they compartmentalize the way they treat different women? You don’t get to be sexist to women you don’t know. I cannot understand how they ‘choose’ to be decent only to women they know as if they’re doing me a favour and bestowing good favour onto me and I should be thankful for that. Fuck that.
X apologized three days later and he said he will do better. I can’t trust that because it’s not the first time he’s apologized for something similar and I just feel like I’m being let down again and again and it feels like my feelings never mattered to him and he’s just saying sorry to shut me up so we get to play fortnite again. His actions clearly contradict his apologies.
This incident aside, X and Y have a lad culture where they are ok to hang out with individually but together they snowball into one giant glob of misogyny. Some of them include: - One makes rude remarks and the other sniggers along and when I asked them to repeat themselves (because I didn’t catch it the first time), they snigger like it’s an inside joke and ignore me. - Sometimes they selectively choose not to answer me when I say ‘hello?’ or ask a question while the game is loading (when we can take quick toilet/ snack breaks) but giggle in response. It made me feel like I’m a kindergartner again and it made me feel stupid. - Second-guessing my opinion. There’s another girl B who plays with us and Y always asks her for her opinion to see if it backs mine up. I feel like my opinion is invalidated all the time because of this. Why does he need quantity in order for him to accept that there’s some validity to my opinion? Why can’t he take it at face value? What is wrong with my opinion on its own? Then why bother to ask me at all only to put me down all the time?
I hate myself for ruminating this over and over. I hate that I feel immensely bad about it and want to take them back as friends when they don’t care. I hate that I’m the one processing my feelings on my own and telling myself again and again for the past three weeks that I’m not wrong. I hate that I cry every time I think of this. They haven’t shown that they care. It bothers me a lot as I feel now that I’ve never really known them at all and that I was just auditioning to be a female friend to them.. just to fill the gap like a diversity hire so they can go out there and be sexist but say they’re not because they have female friends. I cannot live with myself knowing that I’m contributing to such degrading behaviour by being a passive observer or laughing along or being able ‘take a joke’ when what they say demean my sense of self. It’s worse that they don’t mean it maliciously and that women are so conditioned to accept this that we cannot identify how harmful it is to us anymore. It’s terrible that men are bonding over misogyny at the expense of women’s happiness and we sit there without questioning how and when this became the norm. treat me like I have no agency but when it becomes convenient to blame me, suddenly I have agency so someone can deflect all their blame on me. The saddest moment for me was when I realized that X and Y just didn’t care enough to identify what I was upset about. They were quick to be defensive and deflective and I was not fast enough to counter that. One can always find an excuse to downplay another’s feelings to absolve himself of responsibility for his thoughts, attitude and actions.
This was just the trigger. These past three weeks I’ve been questioning how unhappy I am as a woman and thinking about how much I’ve shortchanged myself. I know for sure I’m better off as a man. Has it ever crossed your mind that you shouldn’t be this educated or aware? Because if I’m not so educated I might be happy when I’m blind to my surroundings, but why must I feel this way? Why am I the one feeling that education is a curse to have and I ought to be dumb and naïve to be happy? Do you know how screwed up the process is to reach a point where you think you shouldn’t deserve the education you received just so you can be happy?
How can I describe why I hate being a woman to them? On top of all the self-doubt and gendered fear (which women experience by virtue of being a woman) that creeps into everyday life, I’m constantly reminded that the ‘success’ of my future necessarily depends on my getting married. Recently my parents were thinking of buying a house in my sister and my name to avoid additional stamp duty (property taxes). But my parents hesitate, because they care about what my future husband thinks over my thoughts. I would want a deed for my own security, but they are concerned that 1. My husband won’t be happy that his wife has more assets than he does; 2. My husband won’t want to marry me; 3. We won’t be able to apply for public housing ownership (due to local laws). Why can’t my parents prioritise my feelings NOW over some feelings a hypothetical man that hasn’t even entered my life would have? How can this man that doesn’t exist now, that isn’t blood-related, be more important than what I think now? I’ve never felt so imprisoned by my own gender which I don’t have a say over.
I’ve experienced my fair share of entitled men who cannot take no for an answer. I was stalked by a guy from my tuition class when I was 14, and several times I felt trapped in a train carriage by men who want my number but cannot handle rejection. The number of times I felt fear and anxiety and blamed myself for the way I behaved is uncountable. As a law intern I once witnessed a lawyer telling another intern that “you got the internship because you’re wearing a skirt” and “it’s so easy for women to get promoted nowadays, they just have to open their legs”. The number of times I sat there in silence when someone else is harassing another woman is killing me more and more. It could have been me while other people sat there and normalized that kind of treatment. I’ve never wanted to love myself so much while hating myself for being a woman and it’s become increasingly difficult to reconcile both.
I’m going to share something that I’ve never told anyone. I still find it hard to recollect it so I will go through it as minimally as I could. When I was 17, my dad was pissy about the dishes and I said ‘why are you pissy? Your period came?” and I got smacked by him. He wanted to pick up the mahogany dining chair to throw it at me but it was too heavy, and he instinctively reached for the kitchen scissors. I shouted ‘stop, are you really going to kill me?” and it was as if he stopped seeing red. He put down the scissors and kicked me and I stormed out of the kitchen. That day something in me snapped and I never felt so alone and unloved. My dad was the closest person to me but he was instinctively going to stab me just because I joked about him having a womanly attribute. I’ve never felt so dirty, like I’m an abomination that shouldn’t exist if people hated me so much that they wanted nothing to do with any trait that I have. Why is it derogatory to be a woman, to be me? That day I learnt that the person I thought was closest to me was ashamed of my identity. Maybe he could have loved me more if I were a boy. My mom was very explicit that she wanted a boy, never my dad. But this incident tied everything together: he was keen on me exceling in sports until I reached puberty, then he gave that up. I started dressing conservatively because of the passing remarks I hear almost daily. I rarely wore skirts and dresses even though I wanted to. I try them at home and select dresses carefully if I were going to wear them out. If I’m showing legs, I won’t show chest and arms. If I’m showing arms, my hem line better be longer. If my dress is super long, then perhaps I can skip the safety shorts. Is my bra showing? It won’t, because all my bras are nude so that they won’t show under my white shirts. Am I carrying an umbrella, personal alarm or have I turned on Companion? Should I turn off my music when I walk home alone late at night so I can hear for footsteps behind me? My dad is still the closest person to be but deep down there’s a nagging wariness I have against him.
Everyday I’m reminded that I’m a woman, that my daily decisions and thought processes are tied to being a woman; that my future is tied to being a woman, and that being a woman is the worst thing possible in every scenario. If I’m being robbed I risk being raped too. If there’s a war, I risk being raped and enslaved. If I’m having a drink, I risk being date raped. I’m expected to dress up and present myself in the best way possible when men who expect the same do the bare minimum or don’t give a shit. I am so, so tired, I really want it all to end. I don’t want to be expected to put up with such shit anymore and be blamed when I reject such shit. I don’t want to have to think about setting my own curfews at night to avoid crazy entitled men on the streets at home, or finding someone to share a cab with when I go home, or finding comfortable yet pretty footwear that I can run in in case I have to escape from someone who attacks me. I don’t want to have to feel fear when I say no to a man, I don’t want to have to feel ashamed when my period comes and I need a pad, I don’t want to be told by men that long hair suits me better when I didn’t ask for their opinion. I don’t want to have to feel like I have to try harder to get a job or be recognized for my work, I don’t want to be unacknowledged for the efforts I put in just because it’s a “given” that ‘girls are more nurturing or pay more attention to detail’, I don’t want someone to invalidate my opinion and actions as ‘too emotional’ and ‘acting out’ just because I disagree with them. I don’t want to feel like an imposter anymore in every thing I do or in every opinion I hold just because I was conditioned to doubt myself as a girl growing up. Living this way is too hard. There are so many ways and opportunities to tear down a person and I cannot ward all of them off and continue telling myself that I’m fighting the good fight when i feel like I’m not. I feel so isolated as a woman and this sub made me realise that I’m not the only one feeling like this. I’m hating myself while trying to love myself but how can that work out? I feel like shutting down and shutting people off because it feels like hitting a brick wall. I don’t want to be gaslighted and blindsided by people I trust and love anymore, and be expected to accept that and take it in my stride. I want to be able to have a healthy relationship of any kind with a man but I can’t seem to trust that they will understand me or not belittle/ patronize/ infantilise me. I feel like I am too defeatist and deterministic in that I cannot believe that men can grow to accept my perspective, and this saddens me. I don’t know how to see myself continue living in such a manner in the next ten years because I feel like I’m going in a spiral – I will somehow see a redeeming value in a guy friend and hold onto that and shortchange myself in the process by putting up with his behaviour because of some hopes that he would understand me, and then I will feel stupid, let down and disillusioned again. I don’t know how many times I can go through that before truly feeling dead inside. I’m scared of becoming a femcel.
I just want to be treated like a human being and live like one carefreely. I don’t want to be a mental prisoner or an emotional prostitute and exist in a way which conveniences men. I don’t want to live in a world where living like that is normalized and we are told to repress our feelings because it’s not the ‘norm’. I don’t want to have an expiry date as a woman, or be interchangeable or dispensable to men once they know I’m not going to boost their ego by letting them degrade me. I don’t want to be dehumanized into a commodity and be pitted against other women and be expected to laugh with men at other women. Please take all of my feelings as they are and don’t deny me of them.
I haven't spoken to X and Y. I don't know what to do in general.
submitted by r9440 to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]