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2020.11.17 23:02 MikeJesus Porn hidden office

Teddy’s VHS collection never really came up in conversation. Sure, occasionally I’d say something about the oblique pop culture reference t-shirt he wore, and I recall having a discussion or two about his obsession with 90s sitcoms, but most of our time together was spent talking about the strangeness of the locals.
I originally moved to Prague to squeeze out as much fun out of my 20s as I could in a cost-effective manner. Beer was cheaper than water, rent was infinitely more affordable than San Fran and there’s something to be said about dating in the porn capital of the world. Teddy’s reasons for moving to Prague on the other hand were a bit more cryptic.
Whenever I would ask him about his departure from the states he would wax poetic about the dark gothic streets, about the strangeness of the city, about how he could feel Kafka’s perpetually confused spirit drifting through the subways, but it wasn’t until one rum soaked evening that he gave me something concrete.
‘You can also find some pretty niche VHS tapes here,’ he said, ‘and I like collecting VHS tapes.’
Maybe he wanted me to press the subject further, maybe he wanted to show me his collection, but to be honest I didn’t care.
I liked the dude, he was weird, but I liked him. Frail and covered in adult acne Teddy was funny looking and meek, but the guy had a heart of gold. Whenever I found myself lost in the absurd bureaucracy of the city or was looking for an explanation to the strange customs of the Praguers Teddy was more than happy to help. He moved to the city just a year before me, yet somehow he had managed to get a grasp on the strange consonant filled lingo of the locals and knew of just about every expat friendly gem hidden around the dark alleys.
We were on friendly enough terms to be conflict free roommates and occasionally grab a drink together. I liked the dude. I just didn’t want to enter check out my weird hobby territory.
It wasn’t until he went missing that I saw his collection.
A regular VHS tape fits about four episodes of a twenty-minute show. Judging by the sparse amount of space available in Teddy’s room, he had enough tapes to stay occupied for weeks.
Whilst Teddy was privy to all the drama of my personal life I didn’t know much about his. I never met any of Teddy’s friends, but I presumed he had some. For the first two weeks of his absence I assumed that Teddy just went on some spontaneous hiking trip with some friend I never heard about. One worried phone call from his father dispersed those illusions. Teddy was missing and Teddy only had one friend in Prague – me.
His father flew in from Maryland and for six months he stayed in his son’s cramped room. It was miserable rooming with a grieving father, but the guy continued covering Teddy’s share of the rent and I didn’t want to be soulless. For six months he searched the city for some sort of evidence that his son was alive, but Teddy’s disappearance was total. I had no leads, the police had no leads and after half a year of searching Teddy’s father ran out of hope. Long after it became clear that his son was not coming back Teddy’s father flew back home to hold a memorial service.
They invited me to come and speak at the service, even offered to cover my airfare to Baltimore, but I declined. I didn’t know Teddy well enough to speak to his grieving family and traveling across the Atlantic is about as pleasant as a sleep deprivation experiment. Instead, as his family gathered to mourn, I made my way to Teddy’s VCR.
I was going to put on a random Friends episode, Teddy seemed to have really enjoyed that show, but when I tried to pop in the cassette there was resistance from the machine. The slot was already filled with a different tape.
ADVENTURES OF PROFESSOR EGGHEAD SEASON ONE ep 1 – 4
To pay my respects I figured I’d do my best and try to indulge in Teddy’s weird hobby. I pushed the tape back into the machine and pressed play.
A coffee shop flickered to life on the screen. On first glance there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with it; a group of teens gathered with laptops in what looked to be a study group, out by the window two friends had an animated conversation, a small line of people dressed in gray office garb stood in line waiting for their coffee. Yet the longer I watched the coffee shop scene play out the more I noticed something was off.
The teens relentlessly typed away at their computers, but the screens of their laptops were off. The conversation by the window was filled with excited hand gestures and bouts of laughter, yet the two friends made no sound when they moved their lips. The line of office workers stood patiently in line, but no orders were ever filled. The whole coffee shop seemed stuck in the same thirty-second loop that repeated over and over. It was as if everyone was waiting for something. Sitting behind the thick screen of Teddy’s television, I waited as well.
It was faint at first, I even paused the tape to see whether the sound wasn’t coming from my neighbor’s apartment, but soon enough it became clear the noise was originating from the television. Somewhere off screen a live studio audience was clapping and cheering, anticipating the arrival of a beloved character.
Then the door opened and he entered.
The studio audience hollered with joy as he appeared on screen, but my stomach went flush with discomfort. This man, this creature, this thing that stood at the entrance of the coffee shop defied all reason. A face of a human, a desperately tired human, drooped from his egg-shaped body. Over his stubby limbs he wore a dirty lab coat and the sparse nest of hair on his pointed scalp looked like it hadn’t been washed in years, but it was his eyes that stoked true discomfort in my core – bloodshot and lined with yellow grime they stared straight into the camera.
‘I AM PROFESSOR EGGHEAD!’ the abomination screamed in a queer accent drenched in anger, ‘I HAVE COME HERE TO AWAKEN MYSELF FOR ANOTHER DAY OF SCIENCE!’
The studio audience’s joyous clapping turned to wild laughter, yet no one in the coffee shop found the creature’s outburst funny. They all seemed scared.
With rage filled stomps the egg-shaped being lumbered his way past the frightened business folk to the front of the line. ‘I DEMAND BOILED WATER!’ he screamed, ‘I DEMAND BOILED WATER THAT HAS BEEN STRAINED THROUGH CRUSHED BEANS OF THE COFFEE PLANT! IF I AM TO GET ANY SCIENCE DONE ON THIS DAY I MUST HAVE CAFFIENE COURSING THROUGH MY POWERFUL VEINS!’
Everyone in the coffee shop seemed wholly uncomfortable with the existence of the egg-man; his presence radiated a fury throughout the entire establishment, but it was the young barista he was facing who received most of his ire. She looked to be on the edge of a panic attack. ‘I’m sorry sir,’ she mumbled, biting her lip in discomfort, ‘I don’t understand you.’
‘NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THE EGGHEAD!’ he screamed, raising the nubs of his arms to the sky, ‘NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND THE EGGHEAD!’
This drove the studio audience wild. A deafening bout of canned laughter boomed from the television. With a deep-seated confusion in my heart, I cut it off with the remote and went on the balcony for a cigarette.
For a while I tried to make sense of why Teddy would watch something so unhinged but those thoughts didn’t stick around for long. Teddy was a weird guy who was into weird things, trying to understand his tastes was just as futile as the six-month search effort. A part of me wanted to believe that he was still hiding somewhere in the smoggy city that stretched out beyond the balcony, but I knew the truth. Teddy was gone, and somewhere out in Baltimore his family was gathered around a corpse-less funeral saying goodbye.
His father cried a lot – just about every night for the first couple of months. It wasn’t until I had to put on headphones to drown out a grown man’s sobs that I realized how thin the walls of the apartment were. Even muffled through blaring music, those two AM howls were scratched into my memory.
Standing on my balcony, alone, hearing faint echos of the man’s wails I realized I needed a drink.
As I rushed out of the house in search of company, however, the television screen in Teddy’s room caught my eye. The screaming egg-creature was still staring at the camera, stuck in an angry shout. If Teddy was around and he sat me down to watch that madness I probably would have lasted longer. A twinge of guilt sparked in my chest for never humoring Teddy's obsession.
As soon as I resumed the tape the café was replaced with a barbershop. Much like the previous scene, there was an air of artificiality surrounding everything on the screen. A heavy middle-aged woman hovered over the single customer that the barbershop had with scissors in her hands, yet she never made a single cut. Another employee was using a broom to clean up the remains of a previous haircut, but he never actually disposed of the hair. He just pushed it around the floor in a circle. Even the bright colored fish in the barbershop aquarium seemed to be swimming around in a steady formation.
The barbershop was stuck in a familiar 30-second loop, waiting for something to happen. After a minute or two the cheering of the studio audience started to reverberate through the quiet room.
‘I AM PROFESSOR EGGHEAD!’ the mad creature raved as he burst through the door, ‘I DEMAND THAT THE DEAD CELLS BE REMOVED FROM MY SCALP WITH SHARP KNIVES SO THAT I CAN BE BORN ANEW!’
His words were much angrier than before, the egg shaped monstrosity was foaming at his mouth with rage, but his eyes still seemed comatose. ‘I AM PROFESSOR EGGHEAD AND I DEMAND YOUR ATTENTION!’ he yelled, impotently waving his short arms. The studio audience found his frustration hilarious.
Everyone in the barbershop was doing their best to look away, but the malformed scientist would not be ignored. He wobbled up to the occupied chair and started to nudge it, making the hairdresser’s job impossible.
‘Please, sir, could you just wait for your turn?’ she finally said, doing her best to look away from his horrible suffering eyes.
‘NO!’ Professor Egghead screamed, ‘I DEMAND ATTENTION NOW! I DEMAND MY SCALP BE CLEANSED OF FILTH SO THAT I CAN WHOLEHEARTEDLY COMMIT MY EGG-SHAPED BODY TO SCIENCE!’
With one swift motion the nightmarish creature grabbed the man in the chair and threw him to the ground. There was stunning force in those stocky limbs of his. With a spine-chilling crack the innocent customer slammed skull-first into the floor. He lay there, unmoving. The studio audience saw the random act of violence as the pinnacle of comedy.
‘THERE ARE NO MORE CUSTOMERS FOR YOU TO SERVE!’ Professor Egghead screeched as a faint trickle of blood crawled across the white floor, ‘IT IS NOW TIME FOR YOU TO SERVE THE EGGHEAD! IT IS NOW TIME FOR YOU TO CLEANSE MY SCALP!’
With clumsy effort the creature climbed up on top of the chair. The hairdresser was extremely distressed, but the audience found the egg-man’s climb to be deserving of raucous applause.
‘BRING OUT THE KNIVES AND ALTER MY APPEARANCE!’ he screamed, kicking his stubby legs in frustration, ‘I AM A BUSY MAN AND THERE IS SCIENCE TO BE DONE! DO WHAT I DEMAND!’
For a moment it looked like the hairdresser was going to say something, like she was going to decline the malformed maniac service, but she reconsidered. With shaking hands she grabbed ahold of the greasy tufts of hair on his oval scalp and started to cut.
‘I AM PROFESSOR EGGHEAD!’ the creature screamed, looking straight into the camera, ‘I ALWAYS GET WHAT I DESIRE! ALL SHALL BE GIVEN TO ME IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE!’
It was as if he could see me, as if his tired eyes were reaching past the television screen and trying to bring me into his demented world. The glimpse into Teddy’s confounding media diet was enough for me; I still didn’t understand why the guy would watch the tape but I was certain I wanted to turn it off. I reached for the remote with my sweaty hands, but before I could turn off the television the scene changed again.
For a moment I was sure my eyes were playing tricks on me, that I was having some sort of psychotic break with reality, but the longer I looked at the screen the more certain I was of what I was seeing.
I desperately scrolled through my phone searching for Teddy’s father’s number, but I kept my eyes glued to the screen.
A colorful fast-food restaurant flickered to life on the television. The line to the counter stood still, the customers held their burgers in anticipation but never ate and somewhere off in the distance a studio audience started to clap.
Two rings. Teddy’s father picked up right away.
‘I found your son,’ I said.
The red uniform was an unusual choice of clothing, and the beginnings of a patchy beard were starting to grow on his face, but I recognized Teddy right away. He was standing behind the counter, nervous, as if he knew what was awaiting him.
‘You… You found my son?’ said the voice on the phone, shaking with breathlessness, ‘Where? Where is my boy?’
I tried to explain what was happening, but I kept on tripping over my words. The tape, the egg-man, the insane eyes; I didn’t know where to start. Before I could gather my thoughts into something coherent the television exploded in another wave of celebration.
‘I AM PROFESSOR EGGHEAD!’ the fever dream boomed from the screen, ‘I DEMAND THE GRILLED CARCASS OF AN ANIMAL BETWEEN TWO PIECES OF PROCESSED WHEAT! I MUST RECEIVE NOURISHMENT BEFORE I INDULGE IN THE SCIENCE!’
‘I’m sorry sir,’ Teddy whimpered, unsure of how to speak to the monstrosity which waddled towards him, ‘There are other customers, if you just wait your place in line-‘
‘THERE ARE NO OTHER CUSTOMERS THAN ME, PROFESSOR EGGHEAD!’ the creature shrieked as he shoved the innocent bystanders to the floor, ‘I DEMAND FLESH AND BREAD! I DEMAND FUEL FOR MY BODY SO THAT I CAN COMMIT MY MIND TO SCIENCE!’
One by one they crashed head-first into the floor to the crackling joy of the studio audience. Soon enough the egg shaped abomination was face to face with Teddy.
‘You have found my boy?’ cried the voice from the phone, ‘Please, please tell me my boy is safe.’
‘I WILL DESTROY ALL THAT IS IN MY PATH IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE!’ the walking nightmare hollered, ‘BRING ME A FEAST WORTHY OF A PHILOSOPHER KING!’
With each uncomfortable twitch of Teddy’s face the audience on screen exploded into another fit of hysterical laughter. I tried to turn down the sound of the television so that I could hear the grieving man on the phone but it was to no avail. With every press of the remote the egg-man shouted louder, with every decreased decibel the studio audience became wilder. Leaving a desperate Teddy flickering on the screen I escaped to the balcony.
‘Please, please do not joke about this,’ he whimpered into the phone, ‘My heart cannot handle cruelty right now.’
I took a deep breath, lit up a cigarette and explained myself. I told him about the tape, about Professor Egghead, about Teddy. All I got in response was silence. I tried to imagine how I would respond if I was on the other side of the phone, how I would make sense of it all, but I couldn’t. I waited for the man’s response with echoes of canned applause playing in the back of mind.
‘This is not a joke?’ Teddy’s father finally asked.
‘No,’ I said, ‘It all sounds crazy but –‘
A wave of dizziness washed through me. My cigarette plummeted down to the streets below. Suddenly the overcast city in front of me was impossibly bright, as if someone had turned on a thousand fluorescent bulbs across the sky. The applause, the canned applause that I thought was a simple memory in the back of my skull had grown to a tangible volume. My legs felt weak. Fearing the balcony railing I stumbled back into my apartment.
‘I AM PROFESSOR EGGHEAD!’ boomed the television, ‘I HAVE ARRIVED TO EXCHANGE MONETARY TOKENS FOR GOODS! I MUST STOCK MY DOMICILE QUICKLY SO THAT I CAN COMMIT THE REST MY TIME ON THIS PLANET TO SCIENCE!’
The audience clapped and laughed but suddenly they went silent. The only thing that I could hear was a gentle, repetitive beep – the beep of a supermarket checkout isle.
‘WHAT IS THIS?’ he screamed, ‘IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE! WHAT IS THIS?’
Past the buzzing lights in front of my eyes I could see a spot of dark. I blindly crawled towards it, desperately hoping to regain my sight.
‘WHERE IS HE?’ Professor Egghead demanded, ‘HOW AM I MEANT TO MAKE A PURCHASE WHEN THE SALES CLERK IS MISSING?’
As I felt my way towards the one part of my universe that wasn’t drenched in eye burning light a tower of cassettes collapsed against my back. I was back in Teddy’s room and I was looking up at the screen.
The television was calming to my eyes but it stirred fear in my heart. I was looking at the florescent-lit checkout line of a supermarket. A trail of blood and bodies led up to an unattended register. A defiant Professor Egghead gripped his shopping cart and stared into the camera with dead eyes.
‘I HAVE TAKEN TEMPORARY LEAVE FROM THE WORLD OF SCIENCE TO PURCHASE GOODS AND THIS IS HOW I AM REWARDED? WHERE IS THE SHOP ASSISTANT? I DEMAND THE SHOP ASSISTANT!’ he screamed. The studio audience was in complete silence, all that could be heard was the gentle beep of a far off checkout machine and the professors labored breathing.
‘WHERE IS HE? I DEMAND ANSWERS! WHERE IS HE?’ spit was flying from his mouth onto the camera, in a show of rage he started jabbing his shopping cart in the direction of the audience. ‘I AM WORLD RENOWNED SCIENTIST PROFESSOR EGGHEAD! I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS!’
He wheeled his cart back and forth, foaming at the mouth as if he were a rabid dog, but something behind the camera caught his exhausted eye.
‘Oh,’ he said, his voice losing all its fury, ‘There you are.’
His sudden change of tone made me flinch away from the screen, but his dull eyes followed me.
‘Professor Egghead can see you,’ he said, his eyes still dead tired but his mouth forming into a thin-lipped smile, ‘Come back where you belong. Let me pay for my goods so that I can return to my work in the field of science.’
The clapping resumed again. It was quiet at first, but as the abhorrent grin on the television grew the applause became louder and louder. Whatever was happening the audience loved it.
‘Come on back to Professor Egghead,’ he said, flashing a smile of thin yellowed teeth, ‘I demand attention.’
The light around me reverberated with growing strength, the clapping and cheering and whistling was so loud it felt as if my eyes were about to pop out of my skull.
‘I DEMAND ATTENTION!’ the egg-man screamed, the rage returning to his voice, ‘I DEMAND IT! I DEMAND IT! I DEMAND –‘
The screen went dark, and so did the blinding light. I was back in Teddy’s room; alone and drenched in sweat. For a moment I just lay on the floor, staring up at the cracks in the ceiling, trying to find a loose thread of sanity in an insane world, but before I could even begin to process the madness I had witnessed my phone started to ring.
It was Teddy’s father.
He begged me to turn the tape back on, to rewind and find the image of his lost son, to bring some semblance of hope back into his life, but I couldn’t. I refused to be in the same room as that tape, let alone to watch it again. Whatever was on that cassette was cruel and dangerous. I didn’t want to end up like Teddy.
He offered money, he wept, he got angry, but nothing that he could say or do could make me go back to that hellscape. I offered to mail the tape to him, but the idea of entrusting the footage to the postal service drove the man furious. After two hours on the phone Teddy’s father informed me that he would be flying to Prague and retrieving the VHS tape himself. I didn’t argue with the man, the thought of not being alone with the confounding reality of Professor Egghead even eased my mind somewhat. With a last-minute flight Teddy’s father would be back in Prague in less than two days. I figured I could hold out that long. For a moment I was calm.
But that moment didn’t last long. As I went to sleep that night I couldn’t escape the vision of those dull eyes and that angry mouth. Even as I write this, with the morning sun quietly peeking into my room, the visage of the egg-shaped man still haunts me.
Yet it’s not the mere idea of Professor Egghead that is stealing sleep from me right now, no, there’s something much worse that is keeping me awake. Throughout the night, as I found myself leaving behind my worries and nodding off to sleep, I started to hear things.
I hear beeps. Whenever I am about to fall asleep I hear the gentle beeps of a checkout machine, and beneath those beeps, I hear steadily growing applause. I fear that if I fall asleep, even for a second, I will be transported into the same demented reality where the egg shaped man makes his demands. I fear that I will disappear just like Teddy.
I don’t know how long I can stay awake. I don’t know how to make this stop. All I know is that I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want to witness another one of Professor Egghead's adventures.
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https://preview.redd.it/fklldkvv12w51.jpg?width=259&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd337fbdbbf98d7843c808ac116d1c58224d5826
submitted by MansA126Octl to u/MansA126Octl [link] [comments]


2020.10.15 18:51 skuanchy777 Porn hidden office

so about the cabin near osea

i think im done with that story for now, where did we leave the story?

oh yes demon powers, and i traded them so u could become my real slut and i could do whatever i want to u, niice

well just to close that story with class i bviously gave u a good fuck all over town, a nice titjob and the store in the bathroom while the clerk was watching a match, nothign realy happens in that town anywya so he didnt notice when we went together altho he could hear some noise taht slightly sounded like mouns but he didnt pay atention to them, his loss he could hav epeeked onto your gorgeous tits, heprobably would have owndered how he could find a way to fuck u himself

and at the end of the story after tons of sex during the next few days a few moments before we all got in the car tohead back to our houses, u and peter had a little moment together that got kind ahot and he decided to finger u, but surprise surprise your cunt was dripping with my cum

the end



ill maybe come back to this story, we'll see

for now i feel like starting a new story fresh as i said i love the begining , all the events that lead to the best fuck i could imagine

and tonight i feel like enjoying a lot of arousal like soft porn, all thos emoments tha tmake u think " if this happened to me in real life like it would b enough material to fap for daaaays"


ok so here we go next sory is gunna b caaaalled


the summer dream job

i got a job for summer which consisted of taking care of a place near a huge national park.

customers came and made reservations to camp in the park but the place also served as a hotel it had a small number of rooms and a fancy suite for those who wanted to rent horses and just go visit the lake fish, take it easier than facing nature

kind of a boring job not very active i heard some summers were busy but lately there wasnt too many customers

so there i am sitting in the afternoon its just me 2 guys and agirlin the office but today nobody is there, the girl is blond with short hair that is quite hot she has like aporn star face and is always chewing gum, we dont know much about her but all the guys wish she is a hidden slut

im daydreaming about how i could start a conversation my my sexy coworker when i hear a park arriving at the office

its a mini van a dad with his wife and two girls

the wife is hot and has big tits still looks young, the man is older he has like 55 and i cant help but think damn that old dirty basterdlook at that hot wife, i wanna b like him when im older, but forget about the wife the next thing i know is the two daughters are getting out of the car there u r, an 18 yo blonde girl wearing jeans and a pink hoodie, we can clearly see u r stacked under that hoodie, and lord have mercy what do u know the other girl is your twin

ive been watching alot of porn lately at the office and it take sme no time to end up in a scenario in my mind where the mom u and your sister are laying naked on a couch , u r licking my cock cleaning all the cum i just jizzed and the other two are caressing their tits which are sprayed with cum

im thinking how fucking great it would b if something like that could hapen when im force to exit my day dream as the family aproaches the desk

i take a quick look at everybodies eyes the dad seems pissed, hes been probably to stressed and ther ewas a bunch of noise in the car and all he wants is to fucking lay down and have abeer maybe ablowjob form his hot big tited wife

the wife seems indeferent to my eyes she is just being nice giving a polite smile, and the twins, u and your sister giv eme kinda of a kinky smile with a long pitched hiiii that jsut kind revitalises my boner and im like gulp god damn

i say hello welcom to fiesta del bosque camping resort how can i help

the dad says euh yes hello hm we have a reservation for the hotel with an open option to camp under the name the robertsons

im like sur emr robertson its our pleasure to have u here

as i say pleasure i try to divert my eyes to u because fuck it i can help it the animal instincts kick in and i try to take advantage of anything that oculd put the odds in my favour of pounds mr robertsons super hot twin daughters, u r chewing your gum in akink way with your poni tail playing with your hair with one hand the other hand is using your phone , u r pretending to use it but u r scouting me out cuz u r a dirty slut that likes men fantasize about u, u havent had many sexual encoutners u have only gone as far as a handjob which is more than your sister but u spend tons of time on reddit reading kinky shit and u love having men fantasising about u, like your mind if filled with a bunch of perverted scenarios which u havent tried but u love the idea of being covered in jizz, your sister is more shy but as horny as u are , matter of fact u talk abotu this often and have even discussed scenarios where u do threesomes, u say thigns like "imagien the huge load a man would burst if he were to titty fuck us both " those kind of talks always make both of u horny and u end up masturbating in your own rooms cuz u feel like masturbating together would b weird

anyways i give mr robertson his keys i offer to give help witht he bags and he says sure

u lot keep waiting in the lobby as i bring the bags with the help of one of those metal things with wheels i leave the thing with wheels near the stairs i take two of the bags, there 3 more to go and i ask u to please go ahead before me

i hope mr robertson wont say " no please u first u r charged", because this would mean i couldnt try to enjoy your asses as u walk up the stairs

mr robertson doesnt say anything and the whole family proceeds to going up the stairs i say " it will be in the hallwaay to the right"

i climb up the stair smy eyes are mmainly watching your ass cuz u r slithly hotter than your sister and the daughters r clearly hotter than the mom

i can get glimpse of you pink tong and i see your hand go to your ass as u lift a bit your pants so u dont reveal much, lucky me i kinda hid my boner in my pants as i went to the car

as i finish the stairs i tell u its the suite is the door at the end of the hallway the family wait sfor me, your sister is clearly answering some texts, and u have both your arms behind your back moving slightly side to side in kinky way, this emphasises your tits. i take a super quick look to your tits the hoodie is slightly open and u r wearing ablouse with alot of cleavage under it, im taller than u which allows me to catch a glimpse of your tits as i go to the door

i put the bags down and open the door i gie the family a tour of the suite show the view to the lake and let u knwo that ill b right back witht the rest of the bags, when we entered your sister quickly sad down in a chair and u jumped on the main bed face down crossing your legs in the air i could clearly see what a great ass u got and i thougth "oh fuck she is so hot, mr robertson u fucking made a bombshell, iw ish i could hear her moan"

i go downstairs to pick up the bags it takes two more trips, on the first one i bring two bags and when i go get the last bag i notice there is acompartment that is poorly closed and a peace of clothing is falling from it.
i try to fix it so i reach for it and realise its a thong

i think fuck it and put it in my pocket, i dont rly like smelling underwear but i love the idea that it might be yours and that i have in in my pocket as i talk to u

i come back to the room with the last bag and ask if there is anything else i could do for u

mr robertson says "no everything is ok" and i leave the room, the last time i saw u u were still laying on your bed as before and turned your head towards me shaking alittle bit your ass while chewing your gum, i just thougth "fuuuuuck"

i close the door and brace myself againt a wall and think "best clients ever"
submitted by skuanchy777 to u/skuanchy777 [link] [comments]


2020.10.11 23:09 SGH-AAM-t Computing question and report regarding TCP/IP Neural networking/computing

Hey guys, new to this community and just created this account... I am looking into remote neuromonitoring for a research paper I am doing. Is there anyone here that understands the networking fundamentals regarding the technology, I have written a report which is copied and pasted here. Any information or safe guard recommendations would be most helpful. God Bless.
10-7-2020 Remote EEG and invasive surveillance in the private / criminal sector. In contemporary technology we are faced with new dilemma and new obstacles otherwise known to be unreal or mystical. This unfortunately challenges traditional law enforcement and modern 'burden of proof' elements. With our criminal justice system there isn't a strong partnership between newage technology and the A.I frontier. These sorts of 'machines' or complex code may be available only to the military or very large precincts like the NYPD 'tripwire' program. Its important to note that the private criminal sector has found ways to utilize these systems thru backdoors, zeroday exploits/hacks and other malware/penetration style tactics. Some of these systems are local, federal or even international (satellites) and cell phone / data streams Data streams - EmotivPRO and or towers. With these systems perpetrators are able to gain exclusive access to other peoples 'real-time' data Real time, recording and playback modes - EmotivPRO . Such as where they're located, or theyre feeling, what they look like, even as far as vital signs.
www.neurosky.com is a example a BCI(brain to computer interface's) paired with a software and a headset for the user(s) own pleasure. Little does neurosky know that this technology has paved the way for criminals or individuals with malicious intent to breakdown neurosky's structure and build custom invasive brain to computer interfaces. www.OpenEEG.sourceforge.net is a community online where users can post / discuss brain scanning equipment and their latest findings. http://openeeg.sourceforge.net Also users frequent OpenBCI - Open Source Biosensing Tools (EEG, EMG, EKG, and more). This technology is a existential threat to not only the US but humans as a whole. Espionage is what the US intelligence community needs to be particularly afraid of, thoughts, dreams and emotions can be scanned or stored in a 'Neural Bank' thru the interception of TCP/IP neural packets . https://packetstormsecurity.com (good source for everything related) BrainBay OpenBCI Documentation
Thru the use of a BCI headset a user can remotely send customized neural packets thru a neural packet receivesender (same-thing) to a target resulting in a phenomenon called 'synthetic telepathy'... or synthetic Insight Brainwear 5 Channel Wireless EEG Headset | EMOTIV The headset itself doesn't support malicious software / code. But it can be used as a vessel for perpetrators to send and receive neural packets using their own mind with the support of a BCI. Here is a partnership between facebook and a BCI company called CTRL-LABS CTRL-labs - YouTube CTRL-labs - Crunchbase Company Profile & Funding CTRL-labs Neural Interface Technology The powerful visual shown by CTRL-LABS shows a degree of sophistication that law enforcement increasingly has trouble keeping up with. But due to some brave journalists and dedicated minds we now can connect the dots and hopefully create regulations and a code of ethics regarding invasive BCI's. Unfortunately modern legal precedent is functional unaware of such activity, or at least our system isn't primed for it yet. I am writing this as a cautionary tale to those worried about new age technology and surveillance in contemporary America. For the most part the NSA has used their collection of data ethically. But their software and tools were leaked onto the internet and scooped up by the private criminal sector. Regular Americans stand helpless against such technology , their information and feelings are being mined and stored by criminals for sadistic and fiscal reasons. Such as stalking, harassment, espionage and much else. I want to switch gears to the science and literal meaning of EEG equipment , R. Douglas Fields PhD wrote a great book on the history and creation of brain monitoring and scanning. (insert 'Electric brain references and quotes here). Also here is a hour long visual representation by Dr. R. Douglas Fields https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJtoW8wvgXo Digital Signal collection / interpretation is a process in which signals coming from send/receiving devices such as micro controllers, cell phone towers, satellites creates a full spectrum grid of surveillance that victims cannot typically break free from. Neural nets are another component of the equation, the collection of TCP/IP neural packets go thru one of many systems one of which is a neural net. The neural net is a system in which raw neural packets are passed thru a series of checkpoints and other mathematical formalities that process raw neural data and deliver it into a neat package for the user to see what a target or user is thinking, feeling or even dreaming...
Legal precedent has been a issue with this technology as it is quite hard to prove. But not impossible. If you follow the links provided and watch the visuals you will see that the technology is completely possible. It is done thru low band frequencies usually in the 40-60 hertz range. 40-60 hertz is related to EMF (electromagnetic field) , if tuned correctly with AI, software like Brainwave it allows for a 'perp' to create synthetic telepathy (insert information here about synthetic telepathy). Perps in modern times are now using complex technology to target individuals and its virtually undetectable. With the help of law enforcement and transparency thru the private sector creating a partnership is paramount to help victims , as they're always gaslighted or told they re insane. I have been doing research on the subject for about 6 months or so and it is very very plausible due to the integration of 4g - 5g technology. 5g will revolutionize this harassment and intrusion of civil liberties to a level that we will not be able to keep up with. It is paramount we create ethics , regulations and arrest those who are using this for malicious intent. Brainbay is BCI like software used thru a webcam, thru retina and facial expressions it can cross platform with narrow A.I to create synthetic EEG like imaging. http://www.shifz.org/brainbay/ Usually 'perps' will use a different country than the target to circumvent accountability. Also the use of VPNS people are able to mask their location, though that technology is becoming easier to detect. Sector, Elon Musk is developing a cranial implant called the neuralink . The neurolink is about the size of post it note , maybe a little smaller. It is intended to be symbiotic relationship between A.I and humanity. This has promising prognosis's but major shortcomings and concerns regarding ethics and potential existential risks regarding the major evolutionary jump. Now that is out in the open and for users to use and manipulate the open source community of BCI's it is particularly troubling. The lack of oversight and the compounded interest of technology paired with exponential growth its making virtually impossible for local or even state police departments to keep up with. All things considered its important to create a new legal framework and/or procedure when dealing with complex harassment and or remote neuro monitoring equipment (such as long range acoustic devices and or satellite installations). Users discuss innovative ideas, schematics and DIY EEG equipment for their imaging needs. The problem is the lack of oversight - due to the rapid growth of new age tech and micro controllers... paired with 5g. It will be a serious issue for local and state authorities to keep up.
That being said I think its paramount to establish strong legal precedent and not write this off as hocus-pocus or out of the realm of possibilities. Most victims present in a way that is hard to understand or comprehend for most Officers or other officials. As its highly specialized field of computing , neurology and networking all in one. EXAMPLES OF BCI's: https://www.emotiv.com/bci-guide/ https://youtu.be/fVhggGSjXVg HERE IS A USER GUIDE ON RECORDING BRAIN IMAGING https://emotiv.gitbook.io/emotivpro/ https://emotiv.gitbook.io/emotivpro-v2-0/ https://www.emotiv.com/our-technology/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJtoW8wvgXo
There is also another community I want to state for this report, which is the www.openbci.com community. Now this is the software component that links the brain to whichever EEG the user is using. There is detailed images on the website showing users making custom BCI headpieces and headsets... Most of it is DYI manuals ; users have found ways to make affordable hardware and easy to read/obtain schematics. Thru the use of TCP/IP neural packets , signals between machine to brain (VOICE TO SKULL). This raises considerable alarms , basically this technology / software is capable of remote messages to the brain using a neural packet sendereceiver. This can be amplified for remote or wider range transmissions , or for high power localized EEG s. Right now the standard hertz used is between 35-45 (approx, depending on the EEG s). Perpetrators mine data thru narrow A.I and Brainbay. Unfortunately this technology is very clandestine and used in sophisticated identity theft, stalking, harassment, ransomware, blackmail, fraud , interception/espionage, privacy violations and revenge porn.
That being said, staying many steps ahead is the key to countering the criminal aspects of this technology. So in order to do that what was once darkness and is now out in the light, all sectors of society must be aware of the capabilities and danger associated with intrusive sophisticated unwarranted surveillance , via cross device , via cross platform/OS penetration. Thanks for spending some of your time reading my report on contemporary surveillance and the Era of A.I. Take care, be well. Thru the use of existing code and narrow minded AI , perpetrator's can break down existing brain to computer interfaces and use invasive technology and send and receive thoughts, and even read vital signs.
Very few companies are capable of such feats in fact its considered cutting edge to a point, the data mining is in the most comprehensive part of the equation. Then A.I does the rest: malware such as 'ROOTKIT's” , rootkits hide in the firmware of the device (PC , SMART PHONE , even wired or wireless devices). Perpetrator's can then have a remote copy of a victim's device , this can be plugged into a BCI which can measure emotions, pupil dilation, some vital signs and other mannerisms thru what you search, type, look like (front/back facing camera). To make matters worse if the victim has a smart watch which is bluetoothed to a rootkitted device then they have vital signs, blood pressure, steps, location and other intrusive details. It can take many years of rootkitting in order to create a “link” to a victims cortex/brain .
Then A.I takes over , it can take the mined data and essentially predict the victims behavior and or personality. Again as previously stated our legal system is not yet primed to such activity, only in the intelligence sector would there be precedent. Now that 5G is being rolled out it will make the rootkit mining seemless , 5g is 600-1000x faster than 4gLTE and 30-50x faster than Wi-Fi. So collection of data can be stored, collected and mined at a rate never ever seen before. This would be a existential threat to national security, personal security and the mental health of the entire planet. If we do not establish cheap detection or mute features than our fate is virtually sealed. Sophisticated organized crime or “cabals” could use this for unbelievable potential, it would be the most power weapon known to mankind 10 fold. I digress: So the headpieces, headsets and brain to computer interfaces already exist but the firewalls do NOT exist.
This would be a particular issue with the military and politics. Not only would “perps” be able to send and receive TCP/IP neural packets and other intrusive forms of neural network related forms of PERP to VICTIM communication. In layman's, they could send voices and essentially predict and analyze your brain. Not only that they can plug your subconscious and their dreams/dream cycle. What else is particularly troubling is that the signal would be so strong at 5g levels it potentially alter human physiology; it has been theorized that it can prevent the oxidation of cells. This is in theory as human physiology and 5G / intrusive EEG's brain scanning equipment is generally hidden and black listed on search engines and YouTube. Law enforcement needs to have state, local and federal safeguards created , in conjunction with the private sector.
In conjunction 'perps' can use ADOBE VOCO to impersonate the victims voice to cause further disruption to their lives we live in the age of disinformation and fraud. An there is almost nothing average or even high class people can do. This is a on going report and any information that can be shed on this topic would be of much help.
submitted by SGH-AAM-t to computing [link] [comments]


2020.10.11 22:54 SGH-AAM-t Office hidden porn

Hey guys, new to this community and just created this account... I am looking into remote neuromonitoring for a research paper I am doing. Is there anyone here that understands the networking fundamentals regarding the technology, I have written a report which is copied and pasted here. Any information or safe guard recommendations would be most helpful.
God Bless.
10-7-2020 Remote EEG and invasive surveillance in the private / criminal sector. In contemporary technology we are faced with new dilemma and new obstacles otherwise known to be unreal or mystical. This unfortunately challenges traditional law enforcement and modern 'burden of proof' elements. With our criminal justice system there isn't a strong partnership between newage technology and the A.I frontier. These sorts of 'machines' or complex code may be available only to the military or very large precincts like the NYPD 'tripwire' program.
Its important to note that the private criminal sector has found ways to utilize these systems thru backdoors, zeroday exploits/hacks and other malware/penetration style tactics. Some of these systems are local, federal or even international (satellites) and cell phone / data streams Data streams - EmotivPRO and or towers. With these systems perpetrators are able to gain exclusive access to other peoples 'real-time' data Real time, recording and playback modes - EmotivPRO . Such as where they're located, or theyre feeling, what they look like, even as far as vital signs.
www.neurosky.com is a example a BCI(brain to computer interface's) paired with a software and a headset for the user(s) own pleasure. Little does neurosky know that this technology has paved the way for criminals or individuals with malicious intent to breakdown neurosky's structure and build custom invasive brain to computer interfaces. www.OpenEEG.sourceforge.net is a community online where users can post / discuss brain scanning equipment and their latest findings. http://openeeg.sourceforge.net Also users frequent OpenBCI - Open Source Biosensing Tools (EEG, EMG, EKG, and more). This technology is a existential threat to not only the US but humans as a whole. Espionage is what the US intelligence community needs to be particularly afraid of, thoughts, dreams and emotions can be scanned or stored in a 'Neural Bank' thru the interception of TCP/IP neural packets . https://packetstormsecurity.com (good source for everything related) BrainBay OpenBCI Documentation
Thru the use of a BCI headset a user can remotely send customized neural packets thru a neural packet receivesender (same-thing) to a target resulting in a phenomenon called 'synthetic telepathy'... or synthetic Insight Brainwear 5 Channel Wireless EEG Headset | EMOTIV The headset itself doesn't support malicious software / code. But it can be used as a vessel for perpetrators to send and receive neural packets using their own mind with the support of a BCI. Here is a partnership between facebook and a BCI company called CTRL-LABS CTRL-labs - YouTube CTRL-labs - Crunchbase Company Profile & Funding CTRL-labs Neural Interface Technology The powerful visual shown by CTRL-LABS shows a degree of sophistication that law enforcement increasingly has trouble keeping up with. But due to some brave journalists and dedicated minds we now can connect the dots and hopefully create regulations and a code of ethics regarding invasive BCI's. Unfortunately modern legal precedent is functional unaware of such activity, or at least our system isn't primed for it yet. I am writing this as a cautionary tale to those worried about new age technology and surveillance in contemporary America. For the most part the NSA has used their collection of data ethically. But their software and tools were leaked onto the internet and scooped up by the private criminal sector.
Regular Americans stand helpless against such technology , their information and feelings are being mined and stored by criminals for sadistic and fiscal reasons. Such as stalking, harassment, espionage and much else. I want to switch gears to the science and literal meaning of EEG equipment , R. Douglas Fields PhD wrote a great book on the history and creation of brain monitoring and scanning. (insert 'Electric brain references and quotes here). Also here is a hour long visual representation by Dr. R. Douglas Fields https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJtoW8wvgXo Digital Signal collection / interpretation is a process in which signals coming from send/receiving devices such as micro controllers, cell phone towers, satellites creates a full spectrum grid of surveillance that victims cannot typically break free from. Neural nets are another component of the equation, the collection of TCP/IP neural packets go thru one of many systems one of which is a neural net. The neural net is a system in which raw neural packets are passed thru a series of checkpoints and other mathematical formalities that process raw neural data and deliver it into a neat package for the user to see what a target or user is thinking, feeling or even dreaming...
Legal precedent has been a issue with this technology as it is quite hard to prove. But not impossible. If you follow the links provided and watch the visuals you will see that the technology is completely possible. It is done thru low band frequencies usually in the 40-60 hertz range. 40-60 hertz is related to EMF (electromagnetic field) , if tuned correctly with AI, software like Brainwave it allows for a 'perp' to create synthetic telepathy (insert information here about synthetic telepathy). Perps in modern times are now using complex technology to target individuals and its virtually undetectable. With the help of law enforcement and transparency thru the private sector creating a partnership is paramount to help victims , as they're always gaslighted or told they re insane. I have been doing research on the subject for about 6 months or so and it is very very plausible due to the integration of 4g - 5g technology. 5g will revolutionize this harassment and intrusion of civil liberties to a level that we will not be able to keep up with.
It is paramount we create ethics , regulations and arrest those who are using this for malicious intent. Brainbay is BCI like software used thru a webcam, thru retina and facial expressions it can cross platform with narrow A.I to create synthetic EEG like imaging. http://www.shifz.org/brainbay/
Usually 'perps' will use a different country than the target to circumvent accountability. Also the use of VPNS people are able to mask their location, though that technology is becoming easier to detect. Sector, Elon Musk is developing a cranial implant called the neuralink . The neurolink is about the size of post it note , maybe a little smaller. It is intended to be symbiotic relationship between A.I and humanity. This has promising prognosis's but major shortcomings and concerns regarding ethics and potential existential risks regarding the major evolutionary jump. Now that is out in the open and for users to use and manipulate the open source community of BCI's it is particularly troubling. The lack of oversight and the compounded interest of technology paired with exponential growth its making virtually impossible for local or even state police departments to keep up with. All things considered its important to create a new legal framework and/or procedure when dealing with complex harassment and or remote neuro monitoring equipment (such as long range acoustic devices and or satellite installations). Users discuss innovative ideas, schematics and DIY EEG equipment for their imaging needs. The problem is the lack of oversight - due to the rapid growth of new age tech and micro controllers... paired with 5g. It will be a serious issue for local and state authorities to keep up.
That being said I think its paramount to establish strong legal precedent and not write this off as hocus-pocus or out of the realm of possibilities. Most victims present in a way that is hard to understand or comprehend for most Officers or other officials. As its highly specialized field of computing , neurology and networking all in one.
EXAMPLES OF BCI's:
https://www.emotiv.com/bci-guide/
https://youtu.be/fVhggGSjXVg
HERE IS A USER GUIDE ON RECORDING BRAIN IMAGING
https://emotiv.gitbook.io/emotivpro/ https://emotiv.gitbook.io/emotivpro-v2-0/
https://www.emotiv.com/our-technology/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJtoW8wvgXo
There is also another community I want to state for this report, which is the www.openbci.com community. Now this is the software component that links the brain to whichever EEG the user is using. There is detailed images on the website showing users making custom BCI headpieces and headsets... Most of it is DYI manuals ; users have found ways to make affordable hardware and easy to read/obtain schematics. Thru the use of TCP/IP neural packets , signals between machine to brain (VOICE TO SKULL). This raises considerable alarms , basically this technology / software is capable of remote messages to the brain using a neural packet sendereceiver. This can be amplified for remote or wider range transmissions , or for high power localized EEG s. Right now the standard hertz used is between 35-45 (approx, depending on the EEG s). Perpetrators mine data thru narrow A.I and Brainbay. Unfortunately this technology is very clandestine and used in sophisticated identity theft, stalking, harassment, ransomware, blackmail, fraud , interception/espionage, privacy violations and revenge porn.
That being said, staying many steps ahead is the key to countering the criminal aspects of this technology. So in order to do that what was once darkness and is now out in the light, all sectors of society must be aware of the capabilities and danger associated with intrusive sophisticated unwarranted surveillance , via cross device , via cross platform/OS penetration. Thanks for spending some of your time reading my report on contemporary surveillance and the Era of A.I. Take care, be well. Thru the use of existing code and narrow minded AI , perpetrator's can break down existing brain to computer interfaces and use invasive technology and send and receive thoughts, and even read vital signs.
Very few companies are capable of such feats in fact its considered cutting edge to a point, the data mining is in the most comprehensive part of the equation. Then A.I does the rest: malware such as 'ROOTKIT's” , rootkits hide in the firmware of the device (PC , SMART PHONE , even wired or wireless devices). Perpetrator's can then have a remote copy of a victim's device , this can be plugged into a BCI which can measure emotions, pupil dilation, some vital signs and other mannerisms thru what you search, type, look like (front/back facing camera). To make matters worse if the victim has a smart watch which is bluetoothed to a rootkitted device then they have vital signs, blood pressure, steps, location and other intrusive details. It can take many years of rootkitting in order to create a “link” to a victims cortex/brain .
Then A.I takes over , it can take the mined data and essentially predict the victims behavior and or personality. Again as previously stated our legal system is not yet primed to such activity, only in the intelligence sector would there be precedent. Now that 5G is being rolled out it will make the rootkit mining seemless , 5g is 600-1000x faster than 4gLTE and 30-50x faster than Wi-Fi. So collection of data can be stored, collected and mined at a rate never ever seen before. This would be a existential threat to national security, personal security and the mental health of the entire planet. If we do not establish cheap detection or mute features than our fate is virtually sealed. Sophisticated organized crime or “cabals” could use this for unbelievable potential, it would be the most power weapon known to mankind 10 fold. I digress: So the headpieces, headsets and brain to computer interfaces already exist but the firewalls do NOT exist.
This would be a particular issue with the military and politics. Not only would “perps” be able to send and receive TCP/IP neural packets and other intrusive forms of neural network related forms of PERP to VICTIM communication. In layman's, they could send voices and essentially predict and analyze your brain. Not only that they can plug your subconscious and their dreams/dream cycle. What else is particularly troubling is that the signal would be so strong at 5g levels it potentially alter human physiology; it has been theorized that it can prevent the oxidation of cells. This is in theory as human physiology and 5G / intrusive EEG's brain scanning equipment is generally hidden and black listed on search engines and YouTube. Law enforcement needs to have state, local and federal safeguards created , in conjunction with the private sector.
In conjunction 'perps' can use ADOBE VOCO to impersonate the victims voice to cause further disruption to their lives we live in the age of disinformation and fraud. An there is almost nothing average or even high class people can do. This is a on going report and any information that can be shed on this topic would be of much help.
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2020.10.06 12:29 CollegeWithMattie Office hidden porn

I'm possibly the least well-rounded person you will ever meet.
I mean it. I suck at so many things. Just terrible. I can't do math, or draw, or cook, or sing, or act, or include the unbelievable artwork from my artist, Felicia Tzeng, on Reddit , or plan, or make a competent TikTok , or lift heavy things, or dress myself, or promote stuff correctly, or lightly edit a piece once it's live without the entire Goddamn universe crashing in upon me, or sit through a movie without biting my nails, or be normal even when I really need to be...the list goes on and on.
I also wouldn't necessarily call myself "spiky." If I had a spike, it would be writing. But it's not like I'm out here winning Pulitzers. There's a reason I put my stuff out for free on Reddit instead of slamming it into a book. I tried that once before. No one bought the book.
But along with writing, I'd also say I'm quite good at college admissions info, explaining new concepts and ideas...talking about myself, telling jokes, ummm, analyzing handwriting, ummm, Playing Smash Bros at bars, ummmmm…
See? Not that spiky.
But I get enough nice DMs to know I'm good at what I do. It makes me feel grateful for all the support I've gotten and proud that I've been able to capitalize on and combine what I am good at to make myself happy and give back to the world.
That leads us to today's question:
Hi! I'm a rising sophomore. I've read most of your blogs, and I think they're gold and make a ton of sense. But they also freak me out. How am I supposed to find a weird hobby? On top of doing well in school? And having amazing extracurriculars? And family stuff? And how am I supposed to have a unique life so I have "unique" half ideas? It's so much work, stress, pressure, everything. I guess my real question is do you have any tips to manage the stress of applying to college or thinking about college in the future and trying to apply all the stuff I read on the internet and be a good, cool, passionate, driven person that gets enough sleep?
Sorry, no.

  • Mattie
...Yes, I have an answer.
This question cuts to the heart of what I find to be the single worst thing about college admissions. It is an objective fact that getting into college is not conducive to living a fun, care-free teen life. I'm smacked in the face with this fact every October 31st. That's the night before the first major round of EA/ED applications are due, and it is the first major checkpoint on the college application Grand Prix. For the first couple of years at my job, I would send out some "fun" Email congratulating my students on working so hard and demanding they do something to celebrate the holiday.
I stopped after realizing that every student would then report they either fell asleep at 7 PM or were too nervous about submitting things to do much of anything. I extra stopped when a student responded, "did you do something fun?"
No. I was up until 2 AM copy-editing, and then I watched a baseball game on DVR because I couldn't sleep.
Being in the weeds with you students gives me a crystal-clear understanding of what modern high school life is like. It sucks! But, to be fair, it sucks in mostly the same ways it did in 2009. I played the game just as hard in high school as I do with students now. And in both cases, it's worked. That's why I'm not the guy to tell you a summer job and Flaming Hot Cheetos LORs will be enough. Not if you want to go big.
So that's why I cringe every time there's some post on Reddit that's like, "remember to enjoy being a teen, you guys!" It's patronizing because it implies that every student here isn't "enjoying being a teen" because either they don't want to or because they don't have their priorities straight. And as College With Goddamn Mattie, I believe most of you have your hearts in the right place, doing whatever you can to achieve your goals.
So what do we do about this?
We avoid being well-rounded as hard as humanly possible. And in doing so, we cut out as much unimportant bullshit that makes us tired and unhappy as we can.
---
I was inspired to write this after reading u/admissionsmom 's book last night. It's super good! You should buy it and read it and give it 5-stars!
I ended up in the chapter about the well-rounded/spike debate, and Miss Mom described a 5-prong starfish. Instead of having endless stuff, she recommended students pick around five things they care about and go for those as hard as they can.
I think my starfish would have three legs. Or like, two legs and one little toe.
Anyone here ever play World of Warcraft? I know the answer is no, but I have to ask. It was the video game that made young men uninteresting before DOTA and League took over. In WoW, you made your little gnome or goblin or whatever, and then you had three slots to decide.
Class:
Sub-Class:
Profession:
So for example, I was usually a Mage as a class, a healer as a sub-class, and a tailor as a profession. I can feel people back-clicking I type, so I'll now convert those three concepts into what I think they should mean for your application.
Class: This is what you plan to declare as your major. This was the first piece of content I published, and I feel like I agree with it even more now that I'm filling out apps again. You want/need to be spending a lot of time and energy showcasing the skills that you hope to be a professional in one day. If that's CS, I want you taking coding classes and building an app on Saturday. If it's writing, I want you on the school's newspaper and putting together that children's book alongside your artist friend. I also want you to get As in the hardest possible classes related to this subject and study hard to max out any standardized tests related to the subject.
Sub-Class: This is the other thing you do. Might be dance, might be swimming, might be working at Target. Your sub-class will usually be -but does not have to be- a classic school extracurricular. But whatever it is, I want you to go for it. I like awards and Youtube videos and volunteer positions and internships - I want you to go as far and wide with this as you possibly can. Dare to be great.
Profession: Here's where we can get weird. What do you like to do? Screw college, what are you into? I won't accept playing video games or watching television. But what else? Do you like to paint maybe? Or grow chia pets? This is where your weird hobby can come into play. Read this piece. I want you to do this, too.
This is literally my job, and I am telling you that if a student came to me and had all three of those sections jacked up all over, we would 100% be in business. All I would have to do is get to know them, and then I would help them build narrative connections between the three + their personality + whatever else they had going on, and it would work.
The key would have to be that this student had gone for each as hard as he or she could. I want the future doctor to have worked at a hospital and to have done lab research, and if she could have cured cancer, that would be great. And because she swims, I want her competing and winning at every damn swim event in the state. I also want her training little kids to swim for free on Saturday and working as a lifeguard each summer. And because she was the one student who actually took my advice to start a podcast on the medical benefits of swimming with her friend, we could get her into Stanford.
(Someone, anyone, please start a podcast with a friend. It can be about college, sports, local school gossip, serial killers, or anything else you care about and want to chat about. Put it out every week, have a website for it, and get it to 100 weekly listeners, and I will happily join for an episode to talk about anything you like. THEN YOU WILL GET INTO COLLEGE BECAUSE YOU STARTED A PODCAST AND THE BOOMERS WHO READ THIS SHIT WILL LOVE IT.)
Now, I strongly, strongly, strongly recommend you enjoy all three of these "spikes." I want you to go as hard as possible, and that's going to be a lot easier if you enjoy the concept itself. If you're a Frosh, I would prefer you to jump ship entirely than spend/waste so much of your time and energy on something you hate. But if you're a juniosenior, Iono. I think I'd tell you to suck it up and keep going. You can quit the second you get into schools. If it involves your major, my honest advice would be to play a good little soldier and apply with the background you have, then switch to another major you don't hate as soon as you get there.
This all sounds pretty cutthroat, right? It is. I know what it takes to get into top schools. It's really hard, you guys.
But here's the fun part: I don't want or need anything else.
I mean, it would be cool if you had a personality. And A's in other courses that were fairly-competitive. And if you liked Pokemon or something. We could and would write about all that, too. But that stuff I find comes naturally. I never need to force students to be fun, playful, or to like what they like. I've had too many teenagers be remarkable and different and amazing with no coaching at all to believe that it doesn't come naturally. What I need to do is direct their limited focus.
And that's why I think the concept of "being well-rounded" sucks and is a meme. I tend to really, really dislike bad advice. Especially advice that I feel like came from someone who meant well, but not well enough to think about what impact said advice would have in a real situation.
The meme version of well-rounded is: Do whatever makes you happy! The shitty real version is: do as many things in as many subjects as you can until your life falls apart. I see the tragic end-result of an elite student being well-rounded. He or she brings me what I refer to as the list of stuff. It's their resume or EC sheet, and it just goes on and on and on. But there's no theme. No story. All it says about the student is that they are inherently excellent and achieve a lot, seemingly for the sake of achieving it at all. Then I ask them about what matters the most to them and why, and they don't know. And then they don't get in where they want. And then their parents blame them.
It breaks my fucking heart you guys.
Please don't be well-rounded. Please don't let your parents make you do a bunch of shit that you don't like, aren't good at, or don't see an obvious payoff that makes the time and energy required to seem worth it. I promise it isn't. I promise that it won't help you grow as a young person, and ...more relevantly...I promise it won't get you into the schools you want to go to.
---
I'd like you to do some research on burnout. It's a concept that we, as a society, have deemed teens impervious to for some reason. FWIW, teenagers in 2009 weren't actually depressed; we were just moody. Both concepts are insane and dangerous.
https://www.verywellmind.com/ten-signs-your-teenager-is-burning-out-2611230
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/burnout-prevention-and-recovery.htm
I've burned out at multiple points in my life. It didn't just make me unhappy; it got in the way of my work and made me worse at the things I did care about. I'm terrified of burning out because I know it will lead to my professional catastrophe. I have worked harder this past calendar year than at any other point in my life. I've been stressed, haven't slept well, and been occasionally terrified that nothing I was trying would work. But I have not burned out. Not once. I'm still stressed and can't sleep, but I am so thrilled to be alive and love getting to work with my teens over Zoom every day.
(I call them my Zoomers!!!)
The difference is I have goals and motivations, and that I love what I have to do. That is my personal theory on burnout: That it is less about hours spent or the ability to tolerate sleepless nights and more about whether you find everything you are doing worth it or not. When you try to be well-rounded, you end up putting unnecessary time and energy into things you either don't like or don't care about. Then you burnout. Then the things that do matter and you do care about start to suffer as well.
So we're gonna cut a lot of that shit out. No, you don't have to learn a second instrument. Do something cool with the one you already enjoy. No, you don't need to learn Italian. You're applying Chemical Engineering; that's stupid. Instead, be that magical starfish wizard. Have a few - carefully planned - passions and go. Gogogogogo.
THEN! Then you want to know what you can do? At some point, you want to combine your passions. Figure out a way to merge two or even all three of your "spikes" into a singular activity. Are your things math, volunteering, and knitting? You should be offering to look at the financials for the food bank you're at for errors. You should also be knitting custom number puppets and using them to teach algebra at the local elementary school. You should be building half-ideas while you are still in high school. Then, when it comes to applying, your essay topics are already created for you.
And then go be a teenager. You are allowed to do absolutely anything you want. You wanna work at the mall? Go for it. Want to try baking bread? I love it. But do these things without a hidden agenda. There's no ulterior motive of how good does this bread need to be? Do things because they sound fun, or you want to know if you can. Then, maybe, if you like it, keep going with it and see what happens. But you shouldn't need to worry about it because you're already working your ass off at the stuff that counts.
...I do not know if this will work. Or at least, I can't prove it. I was not a Stanford Admissions Officer for three years in the 1990s, so I do not inherently know everything there is to know about modern college admissions. What I can say is that this is how I live my life. I showed up here six months ago and meant absolutely nothing. What I did know is that I can write better than everyone else, I'm funny, I analyze handwriting, I am willing to talk openly about my life to strangers, and that I am good with coming up with new ideas. Anyone of those concepts alone does not make me stand out. But what I did is actively combine the few things I knew I was great at as tightly and creatively as possible to make people notice me.
It worked. I run my own college consulting business now - entirely with Reddit students. It has made me happy and successful to the point that it doesn't seem real. I am so unbelievably grateful to you all here that it does not seem real.
But it is. Because half-ideas works, yo.
If it worked for some guy in Palo Alto trying to jump-start his career, it will work for you trying to get into the schools you care about. You all read crappy advice telling you how important it is to "Stand out!" and "Showcase your passions!" Well, here's how you actually can. I build systems, and this is my system for getting into college. I didn't expect to be dumping my high-school consulting expansion thesis today, but here we are.
I really like this piece, except for the fact that I didn't answer that kid's question, like at all. Let's try again.
Hi! I'm a rising sophomore. I've read most of your blogs, and I think they're gold and make a ton of sense. But they also freak me out. How am I supposed to find a weird hobby? On top of doing well in school? And having amazing extracurriculars? And family stuff? And how am I supposed to have a unique life so I have "unique" half ideas? It's so much work, stress, pressure, everything. I guess my real question is do you have any tips to manage the stress of applying to college or thinking about college in the future and trying to apply all the stuff I read on the internet and be a good, cool, passionate, driven person that gets enough sleep?
The way you achieve this is by thinking ahead.
First, keep your grades up. That matters most of all. All As will take you further than any weird three-pronged sea creature ever will.
Next, you're starting your sophomore year. That's still so much time to do what needs to be done. Take a step back, breathe, and then begin to plan a bit. What's your magic starfish? What's the stuff to prioritize? What isn't? Which of those activities do you not even enjoy? I think you should stop those activities that you don't like and don't feel contribute to your overall application strength directly.
That should buy you some more free time. Maybe dedicate half of it to doing more and better things that do matter. Be smart about it. I mean it that if you like to swim, you should be volunteering at a pool or a beach. It seems so simple as I write it, but in the chaos of the admission frenzy, it's easy to lose track of the goal and go do a bunch of things that feel right without a valid reason why. I am telling you they're not. Well-rounded is such a meme, you guys.
And with that other half? Do you. Download a calendar app for your phone. I use Google Calendar, and it works well except when I accidentally click a popup and get porn spam sent to it. I live through my calendar and have everything I must do graphed out in front of me at all times. It makes me waste zero time or energy wondering what I should be doing; I just do it. I once tried filling in social activities like "see mom" or even "write for fun" in the empty spaces, but that failed miserably. Instead, I punch in everything I must do and then know and respect that any blank time is mine. I try to build my weekly schedule to allow me as many decent-sized free blocks as possible. I plan and package my week so that every Friday night I have off to go on a date, and every Sunday I'm clear all day to watch football in bed with my cat.
If I didn't, shit would just be everywhere, and I'd spend all week either working or awaiting working. I'm obsessed with efficiency. You should be setting your week so that you cut down on as many unproductive moments as possible. For example, you need to book that theoretical little-kid swim class either right before or right after your regular practice session. Doing so cuts out all the time and energy it would take to get ready and head to the pool a second time. That's an extra 90 minutes each week you just took back. Actively work to create solutions like these, and you'll be amazed just how much more time each week you can reclaim.
It is possible to be a successful, hard-working, high-achieving person without everything else in your life falling apart. I try really hard to be an example of that fact.
And weird hobby? Just have it on your mind. The fact that you are on this message board, asking a guy like me, and getting a Goddamn Masters thesis in return is an excellent sign for your future. I love this board so much because it's somewhere for kids to turn who absolutely give a shit about their future, but need advice on what to do. A place like this didn't exist when I was your age, and it pisses me off every day. Merely the fact that you are mindful of the type of content colleges will want to see in three years puts you so unbelievably far ahead of the game. You don't need a hobby nownownow. But try some stuff. Do things you might typically pass off as not worth your time, if only because some random dude on Reddit gave you the scoop ahead of time. Then, if you like it, keep going.
I am not the person to ask how to get more sleep.
And lastly: good, cool, passionate, driven person is not a trait you train for. At least not that I've seen. Instead, every teenager I have ever worked with I have considered a good, cool, passionate, driven person. I think it comes with the territory of the type of young person who cares enough to contact a man off Reddit to help them get into college. But also it's emblematic of a new generation of young people that are objectively incredible. One of my favorite lines is, "teenagers remain undefeated." I do not think you will be the one to break up this perfect season.
- Mattie
I wrote another thing! I had a big paragraph before explaining it but then I wanted to add a cute picture of a Starfish and Reddit LOST ITS MIND. For about five minutes the article ended at "Sorry, no - Mattie". GOOD TIMES.
Look at him. He's adorable.
https://feliciattzeng.myportfolio.com/
Anyways I wrote a guide to the "Why College" Supplemental. Bout 4,000 words. Worked really hard on it! It's on my site and will be sent to you in exchange for your Email. In doing so you'll be added to my mailing list and all sorts of fun stuff.
Tinyurl.com/CollegeWithMattie is the link.
Spread it around! It's good I swear! If you're on Discords, College Confidential, or other places I'm afraid of, it would be huge for you to share it there for anyone asking about this type of essay.
I’m glad you guys liked this one.
submitted by CollegeWithMattie to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]