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2020.11.25 13:50 InSearchOfGreenLight First time sex hidden camera

Sorry I just kinda vanished.
I was getting worried about the abscess situation and managed to get stuck in a bad sleep schedule again :( Also the overthinking was getting to me. So I thought, I hope she’s not running and if she is well it helps nobody if I get worse and the infection spreads.
So I’ve been sleeping and doing other stuff so I don’t get lost in the letter rabbit hole again.
I think of you a lot though. I hope you can feel it. :)
A family friend died. I heard tonight. I’m so sad. I was sending well wishes out for her. Well...I did. Like a month ago. Then she got better and somehow my brain was like well she’ll be okay and I need to focus on my crisis stuff. Then I heard she was back in palliative care. Then I heard she stopped eating :( She was barely awake and not able to recognize people as much. I saw a pic recently. Oh god. She was overweight. In that pic, she looked skeletal. Like her face was 50% thinner and her bones were poking out in the neck and shoulder area. It was really sad. :( It was pretty obvious where this was heading...and yet I kept hoping. I didn’t send out well wishes though. Maybe I should have done that? It worked the first time. :/ Magical thinking -.-
I’m just sad and I feel bad that I didn’t text her or talk to her or visit her before the end. I just remembered that she added me on Facebook a while ago and now her account is done I guess :( She always asked about me, tried to help and shared healthy living tips. She made me an essential oil blend for sleep a while ago. I need to dig it out tonight and put it on and think of her. I should’ve helped somehow. I should’ve visited and sent flowers or something. I kept racking my brain for nice gestures but I couldn’t think of anything useful. I wanted to see her but I was afraid I’d say something stupid or wrong and I just couldn’t think of a compassionate but helpful thing to say. What do you say to someone who’s dying? And they know they are. It’s too late now. Another person I didn’t say goodbye to. When did I talk to her last? I don’t know. It’s been a while.
She fought the cancer for 10 years. 10 more years she got because she didn’t listen to the doctors here that there was nothing to be done and just wait to die. That was 10 years ago. She went to Serbia and they operated and I’m not sure if she went elsewhere. I remember bumping into her right in front of Michaels so long ago now...I can’t remember when. Must have been a couple years after the diagnosis and she did a little twirl and said I’m cancer-free! I was happy for her and for some reason that moment is stamped into my mind. She got into nutrition, and fitness, and supplements and essential oils. She tried pretty much everything I think. Clinical trials in the US, rounds of chemo here, lots and lots of surgeries. She was a force to be reckoned with. A few months ago she went for a surgery in Germany and maybe chemo after that? I’m not sure. That seemed to take a lot out of her and she was recovering basically since. Over the years, they cut so much away. The cancer spread everywhere. It’s a fucking monster. She wanted to live so much. She tried so hard to live. She has kids and a granddaughter she loved so much. Her partner didn’t see her though. Don’t really know but he was too afraid (?) and overwhelmed to come see her. At palliative care. Or call or text. I’m not sure if he contacted her during this whole time. I cannot imagine the regret he will have to live with over this. I’m trying not to judge but I can’t understand not being there for your partner when they’re scared and dying. I don’t think this will ever happen (and the thought of it horrifies me so it better not happen), but if you were dying, I’d be there even if I had a panic attack 24/7. I’d probably be shaking and crying, but I’d hold you for your last breath. This image is making me cry and I need to not think about this, it’s too awful. I better not have jinxed something. :/
It doesn’t make much sense though. You’re younger and healthier than me. Sorry. I’ll stop now. :’(
I don’t know if I ever mentioned this but I was watching a beloved show of mine and the main character’s husband died and the whole 2 episodes I couldn’t dismiss the anguish over the what if it was you. Sorry. I’ll truly stop now.
In other news, (this isn’t really news lol) I had a bad dream last night. Haha, doesn’t that happen every night? Well, recently I’ve been sleeping better. If I had dreams they were not bad. Until last night. I dreamt I was watching a porn shoot or something and the directors (?) were sleazy guys. They said or reacted in some gross way and I got mad. They then blew up and went wounded male ego attack mode. I don’t think I’ve really had such an experience before. Must of picked it up from entertainment or something. Before that this guy was like doing anal to a woman and though it seemed consensual I was disturbed. Certain parts of the dream just had this disturbing quality to them. Like ambiance in a horror movie I guess. And no I haven’t watched any horrors lately. I didn’t even watch Haunting of Bly Manor (which is probably amazing) :( Halloween was such a nightmare (it was the perfectly tailored horror that is 3D and fucks with you) and by the time I was somewhat in the mood for horrors it was way past. :/
Anyway, gotta wrap up I need to go and get to bed soon.
Reggie appears to have gone home tonight and they locked him up lol. I hope. Unless he’s wandering somewhere. But then if he missed last call, he would’ve come here. So I think he’s home. You know he spends more time here than at home??? Most nights lately, he’s here. I don’t feed him and my mom only feeds him in the morning so I don’t know what he’s eating. :/ Apparently an older lady near my moms’ bestie’s place likes to feed cats. I wonder if he goes to her for food lol. I don’t know why he won’t go home. Even when I let him out at like 5 am or whenever, he seems to not be intending to go home. He just sits there or he heads up the block. Never in the direction of home. My dad keeps bringing up the idea of putting a hidden camera on Reggie and seeing how his owners treat him >.< I don’t want to assume but sometimes he’s starving (I think) and he still comes here. And sleeps a lot. Maybe we should stop letting him in :/ I really don’t want to but he needs to eat. He’s grown on me and my mom though. My mom frequently kisses him on the head lol. I wonder if we should ask someone at the cat sanctuary what to do. Hmm.
I need to go. And stop rambling. I still (only been two days) miss you. I still want you. I still love you. Of course. (I’m not being snarky. Really. Not sure what I’m trying to say here. I’ll keep reassuring you though.)
I want to dream of you. But I never know when that will happen. Even if I think of you or fantasize about you right before sleep it doesn’t happen. :/ Why must my dream master torture me like this?
Do you dream of me? It seemed like before you dreamed of me a lot? Naughty dreams mostly it sounded like ;) I remember when you said you had a dream we got married and went on our honeymoon. You said it was the best dream you ever had. I was incredulous. Was it really the best dream? Of your life? Am I really that important lol? I melted though. What a privilege to be a part of your best dream.
What’s my best dream? I don’t recall. I’ve had good dreams. I’ve had good dreams with you. But I can’t really bring to mind...it’s been so long since I had a good dream. Like actual good dream. And since I dream of you so infrequently, the good ones don’t include you :( Sorry. I feel like ever since you told me you don’t love me, dreams of you have faded and if there is a romantic figure in the dream, it’s meant to be you but it’s not you? Like one time I was a guy and there was a woman (meant to be you) but she didn’t look like you. Please don’t be hurt (I can’t control my dreams and they’re so weird) but one time it was supposed to be you but you were the corpse bride. I know >.< I was dumbfounded too. I kissed your neck anyway. You could be a corpse bride and I’d still love and want you lol. I don’t know how that got in my dream. Haven’t thought of that movie in forever. I think its this underlying theme of my dreams. What I want is twisted in some way. Back when I dreamt of relationships or sex with girls like long long ago, before 2012 I think, there was always a frustrating weird element to it. Commonly it was I kiss her and I don’t feel anything? Like she was “there” a second ago but the moment I kiss her, she’s gone. She’s still alive. Warm and all. But no response? Or I can’t feel her lips. Usually, no response.
Anyways, I can quickly recall my worst dream. It was recent. Like a month ago? It’s shameful for me because I did something that I basically hate. Like something that is so evil in my perspective. When I woke up I was plagued by guilt and my ocd got attached. What if you’re capable of such evil? Even though there were two things about it that make it impossible to happen in reality, I still felt guilty. I try not to think of it :( It has nothing to do with you btw. Like it wasn’t betraying someone or leaving or anything like that. I don’t want you to worry about that. I know I’m overthinking this but if I don’t, you will and I don’t want you to lay there wondering if it’s related to you >.<
Ok I really should go. I am quite the rambler. I hope you don’t mind.
Try and get some sleep. Drink some valerian tea. Or whatever calming tea you have. Apparently there’s a yogi tea or something that has a powerful calming effect? I can look in to it if you want.
Good night my love. Sweet blissful dreams.
Or if you can’t sleep and need to occupy your mind, online shopping is pretty good right now lol. Apparently my mom has been online shopping when she can’t sleep lol. As long as she’s not watching late night infomercials and buying crap looooool. Oh wow I forgot about that. Lol You gotta learn somehow haha.
I’ll let you know any great beauty deals I come across. So far, it’s just that the champagne pop eos lip balm smells amazing. I got the set, but caramel brûlée is just vanilla and the snow one is alright. The champagne pop does smell like fruity champagne at first and then more like wine after. It has wine extract so...no champagne extract lol. The egg is really pretty too. Shimmery rose gold kinda.
Alright, adios mi amorrrr.
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2020.11.25 01:40 Traygalle All the gossip on Dileep

Dileep is or was the kingpin of Malayalam industry and at one time was feared by Ikka and A10

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2020.11.23 04:00 jillloyo First time sex hidden camera

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2020.11.10 05:11 LuckyDuck99 First time sex hidden camera

The world is ending!!! ( or so they keep telling us.......... )
This is no time to be doing full round up’s so here’s some pint sized questions that are being raised, taken from the entire run of B7.
And in a bizarre scattergun order.
Killer.
Why didn’t Blake, Avon or Vila get the virus despite spending all that time on the base and being perfect candidates for it given they do nothing but travel in space, also everyone else on the base maybe even the planet died...
Did The Federation not send down a search team later after the episode ended or did they just trust a message from a wanted terrorist saying it wasn’t safe?
Vila questions Avon’s thoughts on Blake ( “You don’t have much time for Blake, do you?”... ) which is fine if this was episode 4 of series 1 but here in episode 7 of series 2 it makes little to no sense. This is a conversation that would have taken place months if not years ago.
Why would Blake know about events that took place on Earth that from his point of view are at least 500 years in the past? I thought the Federation suppressed knowledge, on top of which hasn’t he had his mind wiped a few times as well yet he knows about blankets, smallpox and Lord Jeffrey Ashley..... Yet the top base commander hadn’t heard of any of this....
Blake it seems is also an expert on early space travel that once again took place hundreds of years before he was born, did he study history in Federation school then?
Why does everyone on the base wear such silly outfits?
What’s up with Jenna this episode, she is acting all wifey like with Blake and he in turn is responding to it.
Why is the base commander so welcoming to a self confessed enemy of the Federation, even his sidekick isn’t bothered by this. He’s more concerned about his pension, so the Federation pays pensions then? Doesn’t this put them at odds with being a brutal dictatorship?
So the mystery aliens capture a Earth ship and infect one crew member with this super virus and then set it off in space hoping that in the vastness of space it will somehow get back to Earth? Or just reach humans in space somewhere and then infect them all to stop them finding and wiping out the mystery aliens unless of course humans find and wipe out the aliens before the ship finds anything or anyone in the huge amounts of space and time it would take for the ship to get anywhere. Great plan guys.
Stardrive.
Ok so the Space Rats have fast little ships thanks to the Photonic Drive but where the hell did they get weapons capable of destroying in seconds not one, not two, but three, fully sized, fully armed and fully crewed Federation Pursuit ships? Also how the hell does a space pod have the room to house a weapon like that? What the hell is going on here? Why aren’t the crew going after that weapon instead of a space drive?
If the Space Rat leader isn’t a Space Rat why is he their leader?
Why are all the Space Rats dressed like 1980’s Punks?
Why did the crew land the ship, were they afraid of being attacked by Space Choppers?
Orac could have just told them what was up with the video footage yet he wouldn’t, why? His talk of amazing lack of observations doesn’t cut it. No human eye could ever have seen something that appeared on three frames of film running at normal speed.
Why would the crew record some passing Federation ships, they had no way of knowing before hand that the ships would be blown up by Rats in space so it was super lucky they caught it on tape wasn’t it.
Like Danya says why not patch the video in to the crew room on the base and do it in comfort? ( The real reason would be cause the guys didn’t want to film on a different set so they have Avon say awwwwww hell no, we do’s it now, here..... )
Vila pretended to be drunk to leak the info on how to repair the drive in space without a space suit. Why didn’t Avon, Tarrant, or Slave know this information already though?
Avon’s little asteroid adventure just shows once again why he should NOT be in charge and yet once again just weeks after getting the Liberator blown to hell the gang all go along with it with the same dire ending for them. In fact why are the crew still listening or following Avon at all after Terminal. Tarrant should either be in charge or the whole gang should have gone their own way.
Orbit.
Was the Tachyon Funnel real or just a fake, set up by Servalan and the guy out of Corrie?
If it was real how the hell does it work?
How did it get a live real time feed of a star light years away on it’s little John Menzies style B&W TV? The guy out of Corrie tapped in to a space probe you say? Ok, how did he know there was ( if there was... ) a space probe all the way out there? Plus even if that was the case ( and it wasn’t!! ) how does the TF target anything else in the universe? Where’s it getting it’s pictures and targeting coordinates from? This gives us a very real clue that the whole thing is a fake..............
But later on Servalan says that she could destroy the Scorpio right now meaning that the TF MUST be real or at least Servalan thinks so which again raises the question of why she doesn’t kill the two old clowns and start taking over the universe... ( just as long as the electric supply holds out... )
How was it built? How was it tested?
If it was real why would Servalan risk losing it when she could have killed the pair any time and taken it for herself?
Why after all this time did Avon now think he would need a fake Orac just in case something like this came up? So he went and built one just on the off chance. He must have also hid it on the base since the crew didn’t know about it, well apart from Tarrant who did for some reason, unless Avon only told him before he left to go back down to the dome. Why didn’t he do this in series 2 0r 3? Or did he and there was a fake Orac aboard the Liberator that got blown up.
Servalan has been killing anyone who knows who she is yet she lets the guy out of Corrie go free at the end, why?
The gang couldn’t use the TF on the dome from the shuttle because it wasn’t connected up so does that mean a super weapon runs on electricity?
If the Neutron Star fragment was so heavy ( and they say a teaspoon full weighs more than Mt Everest so even a microscopic fragment would weigh a fair bit..... ) how was Avon able to move it? Come to that how was the shuttle able to even fly at all?
The guy out of Corrie builds a weapon that can destroy planets light years away with the touch of a button but makes a big deal about needing Orac, what on earth for if he did all that without Orac’s help?
Traitor.
Why do Tarrant and Danya change clothes once down on the planet and to go see Dr Strangelove and then change back again to their normal outfits to teleport back up to the ship?
Did the eye patch guy really need that or was it just an affectation?
Avon is glad to hear that Servalan is still alive when in fact it just makes his failure at Terminal all the more damning.
Why is Vila so talkative in this episode? He won’t shut up.
So no one knew who was running their Federation outside of a handful of people at the top? How does that work?
Once again why is the planet being run like an old British Colonial colony in the days of the Raj? They even drink tea...... and play chess........
Why does Servalan say she’s going to cut Dr Strangeloves drugs but then shoot him seconds later? Doesn’t she need him to make the wonder control drug? Also they say here the drug goes soft after a few hours so how does it end up being used to suppress the whole universe by episode 12?
Why didn’t Dr Strangelove blow Servalan up like he told Tarrant and Danya he would with his bomb?
Why has Avon now become Blake? He didn’t give a damn about the universe in series 3 when he had the power of the Liberator behind him, yet now with no need and no real way of taking on the Federation ( the same Federation that it was said would be wiped out should anything ever happen to Star One... ) he wants to wipe it out, when he is quite safe on a hidden base on a dead world at the edge of space. What the hell!!!
Why is a guy on the planet and then Tarrant wearing Avon’s old black studs outfit from series 2? Is it a universal design like a T Shirt?
Vila, the man not the episode ( cause there isn’t one.... )
Vila is either the smartest man in the universe or a drunk fool, so which is it cause the show can’t seem to make up it’s mind. The alien that took over Cally in series 3 said he had a massive IQ yet acted like a fool. Yet in series 4 he spends most of his time drunk. The crew don’t respect him despite him having saved their lives many times and Orac from destruction in Terminal.
Hostage.
Travis goes on and on about the word yet he has been present many, many times when the gang teleported up so was he faking it just to fool Vila?
How safe will Blake’s relatives be on that planet? Servalan could just blow it up a week later, why doesn’t Blake think of this?
If the Crimos are all so smart why do they all end up dead?
Pressure Point.
What’s the point of the fake control room if no one has ever got past the grass that blows you up?
Why does Servalan wear a silly hat in this adventure?
Kasibi is a bad mother.
How long did Kasibi’s daughter really last before she was killed by Federation forces once Blake took off at the episodes end? Not too long would be my guess.
Gambit.
Why is Docholli allowed to get away with his crimes?
Why is Chenie so keen on him? Why does she also dress like a saloon bargirl from the time of the Old American West on Earth?
How can Orac shrink down in size, why has he never used this before and why will he never do it again?
Avon and Vila want to be rich, yet they once again forget there are rooms full of riches right there onboard the ship, why not take them and flee. To hell with Blake.
Having got their winnings they then don’t do anything with them so what was the point?
The ship was left completely unmanned in orbit, even Orac wasn’t on board, wasn’t this a huge risk to take?
Orac.
How is Orac able to predict the future?
Why does he never ever do this again? It sure would have come in handy say round about near the end of series 3 and 4......
Avon could have executed Travis and Servalan right there and then yet he listened to Blake and didn’t, why would he do this? It’s doubly stupid if, as he said he was aiming for his head and missed in the first place, just shoot him again Avon, simple, in fact shoot them both. Odd how Blake had no qualms about killing them and a bunch of others at the end of Project Avalon.
Didn’t Ensor have like 40 years to sort out some spare power cells, why leave it till literally the last minute?
Also Ensor was a bad father that trapped his son on a planet all his life and got him killed in order to save his own life which he then failed to do anyway. He also got the bird killed cause there is no one there to feed it now. In short, Ensor is a selfish controlling arsehole.
Warlord.
So are words just words?
Why does Zeeona model herself on Toyah the punk from the 80’s?
Are the guards killing or stunning the people on the Boots Escalators at the start, cause if they are killing them won’t their boss have something to say about that? If nothing else it’s just making a huge mess that someone will have to clear up.
Did Zeeona commit s***** at the end or did she genuinely mess up by taking her glove off?
Why did Avon and Soolin dress up in workman Bob the Builder style overalls to travel to Betafile, why didn’t they wear their normal outfits?
Pink hair, Orange hair, what’s up with all this?
Servalan knows that Pink hair knows the location of the base but rather than torture/drug him she blows him up, what is her line of thinking here? We know from Animals that she has drugs that make people tell the truth no matter what.
Tarrant spends the episode acting like a love sick puppy, but he’ll get over it soon enough in the next episode apart from one line about pink hair. Hey, wasn’t Tarrant in love with Servalan just a few episodes back? I guess he moves on quick.
Headhunter.
How is the Muller Android keeping his former masters head on, how is he making it move it’s mouth? How is he stopping it decay and smell bad?
Was Oxo mum a sex worker who was only interested in Muller for his money? She did say the relationship was “recreational”
Could Orac and Muller’s Android really have taken over the universe? Orac seemed to think so, he said humanity was at an end, but in reality wouldn’t blowing up the planet the Android was on have stopped it?
If the Android hadn’t done it for them would the crew have killed Oxo mum after the adventure was over as she must know the location of the base......
Did Tarrant do the right thing by blowing up the now safe Android or was Avon right, did this act go on to cost the crew their lives in episode 13?
Was the Android really planning on taking over the universe? How was it expecting to do this?
So, the same bombs that were used on Star One in series 2. Is this just a standard bomb design used all across the universe then?
Had the crew kept the headed safe Android what would they have done with it? Flown around the galaxy attacking Federation bases, but what was the range on the circuit breaker, yeah it could stop guns, guns that were 5 inches away from it, but could it stop a fleet of star fighters from being launched from the ground while in planetary orbit on the ship?
Those space suits..................................
If the Android hadn’t killed him what did Avon want with Muller, what did he expect him to be able to do to take down the Federation and how long would he and Oxo mum have stayed on the base?
Who built the water wheel? The Seska or the Homids? Or another race? Dorian?
City at the Edge of the World.
We know that Vila and the Carry on girl had sex so does that mean there is a baby Vila or Vilaress out there on Vilaworld?
Deathwatch.
Tarrants brother has the chance to kill Vinny, why doesn’t he take it given what’s at stake, not just his life but the whole war thing, he didn’t hesitate to shoot the woman with the wacky hair or the assassin at the start.
What’s up with the camera guy, why is he bitching to his producer?
Tarrant becomes the new champion at the end of the episode but he bails so what happens now, do the planets fight all over again, where do they get another new champion from? What if the new one fails as well then all this was pointless.....
How do the staging areas work? They say the computer picks a location and that the location can be almost anywhere or any time and yet the door leads straight to the location, so is teleport involved? But The Liberator is the only one that has teleport right and the System of course so it can’t be that. Ok so is it a huge rotating series of areas that have already been built and each one contains the mock up of those places we saw? Maybe but then why does it stick Tarrant on the same ship his brother was on at the start of the episode? Was that ship handy and so the folks just rushed it in to the contest when they never expected a second contest to take place 3 minutes after the first one ended or is it something else?
Why does no one get a medical exam BEFORE taking on this contest. That would have screwed up Servalans plans right from the off. Also hasn’t Servalan got her own problems, why is she trying to invade two systems far outside what’s left of Federation space?
Who built Vinny, the same folks who built Avalon maybe? Android creation sure is good in the future and yet Muller’s one looked a bit crap and he was said to be the best, what gives?
Mission to Destiny.
The Liberator just makes it through the asteroid storm but THEN finds out the Tope box is empty. How the hell does it make it back through the storm when they have already said they lost almost all power on the first go through?
Why does Sara act like a little girl and cry “I won’t go, I won’t go” before throwing off her bracelet?
The Tope was originally still in the safe when the crew wake back up, but the guy says the safe can’t be opened without bio metrics and the code, so how was Sara planning to get the Tope out of there in the first place with all the crew knocked out?
Blake is cool with killing the buyers here but lets Travis and Servalan live time and again, he also as a side effect of this executes Sara as well.................
Duel.
God like beings? Really, what is this Star Trek?
Blake, no not the episode, that deserves it’s own QR, the man...
How many people have died because of Blake’s little crusade? A whole station full of them in Breakdown that’s for sure and how many more because time and again when he had the chance to kill Travis and/or Servalan he refused point blank. The whole alien war would never have happened without Travis. Has Blake caused more death than the Federation?
Games.
The whole ending. You know it makes no sense. I know it makes no sense. The writer knows and admits it makes no sense because it makes no sense.
Shadow.
Blake says he’ll give the guy out of Brush Strokes three years then he’ll come find him, what did he expect an ex dream head to do against the mafia and the entire Federation all on his own FFS? Three years!!! That guy wouldn’t have lasted three hours once Blake dumped him back down on Space City. Chalk up another death to Blake.
The Keeper.
How does Travis know by now where Star One is, he must know cause he takes off for it yet the fool didn’t tell him so how did he gain it’s location?
Voice from the Past.
Travis has the Liberator under his control. Finally after all this time we have won, goodbye Blake, oh wait then he gets the crew to teleport him down to the planet. Can you explain why?
At the end of the episode Blake remembers nothing that happened in it, do the crew tell him or leave him in the dark about the whole thing?
Horizon.
Why is the planet being run like an old British Colonial colony in the days of the Raj?
Trial.
Blake gets a boat load of people killed here including the guy out of Corrie, Nyder, the female who uses too much hair gel, and a stack of others but he also makes sure Travis goes free, as a result of his actions, resulting in the future deaths of many more people. Nice going “hero” Guess the death of Gan didn’t take too long for him to get over after all did it? Ditto the rest of the crew as they all have a laugh at the end at Vila’s expense.
The Web.
Blake as usual takes the moral high ground here, yet he can’t afford to do this, on top of which like Avon said these are what you are trying to save. Blake, you are an idiot!!
Spacefall.
The Liberator is assumed to have been in a war but a war with whom? The System? But it’s a System ship so rebels maybe stole it, yet why is it in perfect condition when the London finds it?
Did the rebels abandon the ship or are their dead bodies still onboard, we know there aren’t any on the flight deck.....
Wouldn’t this war be taking place pretty close to Earth since that’s where the London left from and has been travelling what 3/4 months?
Isn’t this still Federation space?
If Federation space goes all the way out to Star One then how can the Federation not know what’s going on out here or for that matter about the System?
Also are the crew of the London Federation people or not, they make it seem like they are independent contractors that are only doing this for money, hence the talk of dumping the prisoners out an airlock and claiming the pay. Yet there are talk of inquiries so which is it?
Come to that why send people to Cygnus in the first place, just kill them and save a long trip since the so called penal colony is nothing of the sort, it’s just a dumping ground.
Why would Avon a white collar criminal have been sent to Cygnus, wouldn’t he have been better suited being memory wiped and put back into place in one of the Domes? Come to that wouldn’t that approach work on all of them?
Does Blake think that his lawyer let him down or sold him out since he doesn’t know he and his wife have been murdered by the guy out of Revenge of the Cybermen, guess that’s two more deaths on Blake......
Gan’s limiter doesn’t seem to stop him taking action here, why is that?
Blake’s little rebellion gets at least ten prisoners killed. A taste of what’s to come I guess.
The prisoners are portrayed as underdogs and good guys, yet in truth how many are violet murderers that deserve this life sentence?
Bounty.
Space pirates that dress like Arabs....
A 630 year old car that still runs....
659 year old records that still play....
A joker in exile that a real ruthless Federation would have just killed long ago....
Assassin.
Whoever thought a 80 year old First Doctor look a like would make a good slave and sell for space credits in the first place?
Why don’t the gang kill Cancer once they have him under their control, ( they don’t know at this point he’s a fakeout.... ) It’s not like any of them haven’t killed before and it is the logical and smart thing to do given that he has a contract on them......
The Assassin say that she thought Avon was supposed to be the clever one, has she not seen or heard his track record? He got caught trying to defraud a bank, set up by his GF who was working to take him down, got the best ship in space blown to hell, let Travis and Servalan live many times when he could have killed them, almost got the crew killed again when he thought he could use an asteroid as cover and he got conned by Dorian and nearly eaten by a Sea Devil. Whoever thought Avon was clever?
Animals.
Justin’s.......... eyes.........
Justin says that was a terrible war ( talking about the end of series 2/start of series 3... ) making us think it lasted years, in fact it lasted no more than three hours, how the hell did the Federation have time to set up a research team to look for ways of winning a three hour war?
Servalan drugs Danya and it’s a truth drug so why wasn’t her first question to Danya where is your secret base?
Gold.
Why is Vila all but written out of this episode? An episode about STEALING!
How many good people do the gang kill on Xerox while trying to steal the gold?
What would the gang have done with all that money anyway, they had riches on the Liberator and never did anything with those, why now is money so important? Even Soolin gets turned on by it ( “That’s a LOT of cash....” )
Avon laughs at the end cause he can see the funny side but really it’s not that funny, like the others say, the gang risked their lives for nothing ( and murdered a lot of people.... ) and made Servalan a nice pile of cash as well. In other words following Avon has once again lead them in to a mess. How is he still in charge?
The Way Back.
Why does it seem like there is a widespread outside opposition to the Federation hence why they can’t just kill Blake or even infect him with a disease, don’t they control totally at this point?
How was a Freedom Party even able to run if the state controls everything?
A society that is state controlled, monitored by cameras everywhere, all movements are tracked, all conversations are recorded at all times and where it’s illegal to go outside. That’s crazy. A world like THAT could never exist, right? ( stares in 2020....... )
And there you have it, maybe not as pint sized as advertised but questions have been raised nonetheless. But now for the reason question.
Do YOU have the answers?
submitted by LuckyDuck99 to Blakes7 [link] [comments]


2020.11.09 03:44 jillloyo Camera time first sex hidden

Thanks for checking out my sale! I'm still trying hard for a low-buy while also cutting down on some back-ups/products that just didn't work for me. Handful of new things added this week & more to come!

EYE SHADOW PALETTES & EYE PRIMER
FACE PALETTES
HIGHLIGHTERS & BLUSH
BRONZERS
FACE PRIMERS & SETTING SPRAYS
CONCEALERS
FOUNDATION
SETTING/LOOSE POWDERS
MASCARA
EYELINER
BROWS
LIPS
SETS / TOOLS / MISC.
FWP
Feel free to mix-and-match items from my SKINCARE SALE ♡ Thank you for reading this far! :)
submitted by jillloyo to makeupexchange [link] [comments]


2020.11.04 11:00 Orpherischt First time sex hidden camera

Since that is what it is...

I leave it to you, noting...
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/domination
Etymology
From Middle English domynacion, from Old French dominacion, from Latin dominātiō (“rule, dominion”), from dominor (“domineer; rule”); see dominate.
Noun:
  1. The act of dominating; the exercise of power when ruling
  2. A ruling party; a party in power.
  3. A high order of angels in the celestial hierarchy.
  4. A fetish characterized by control/power over and discipline of one's sexual partner.
  5. (topology) Synonym of cover
  • "Rulership" = 2020 squares
  • "Wear the mask" = 2020 squares
Why? Simple:
A fetish characterized by control/power over and discipline of one's sexual partner.
  • "According to the code" = 1234 trigonal
  • ... ( "Code of Culture" = 1234 trigonal )
  • ... ( "The Spells of Eden" = 1234 trigonal )
  • ... .. ( "Great Knowledge" = 1234 jewish-latin-agrippa )
  • ... .. ( "What is in a name?" = 1234 jewish-latin-agrippa )
How have you enjoyed this year-long masquerade ball?
  • "Covid-19 domination" = 969 english-extended | 1109 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • ... "A Foundation" = 969 trigonal ( "The Vision" = 1019 trigonal )
  • ... .. "Business" = 969 trigonal ( "The Pattern" = 1109 trigonal )
  • ... .. .. "Matrix Code" = 969 trigonal ( "Master Plan" = 119 alphabetic )
A temperature of 969 degrees C is 1776.2 F
  • "The Supreme Ruler" = 1776 trigonal
  • "Emperor of the World" = 1776 trigonal
  • .. [ "The English Alphabetic Order" = 1776 trigonal ]
Temperature guns pointed at your head:
  • "Citizen" = "Temperature" = 666 jewish-latin-agrippa
... noting...
  • "Gun" = "The Canon" = "Garden of Eden" = 247 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • "Gun" = "The Canon" = "Danger of Need" = 247 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • "Gun" = "The Canon" = "Need of Danger" = 247 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • ... ( "The Riddle" = "The Time" = 247 primes )
... while...
  • "Covid-19 domination" = 1109 jewish-latin-agrippa [ 11/9 @ 9/11 ]
  • ... "The Slaves" = 1019 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • ... ( "Divine Rule" = 119 alphabetic )
... 119 @ 911
  • "Lockdown" = 119 reverse alphabetic
  • ... ( "The Mirror" = 119 reverse alphabetic )
  • ... .. [ "Coronavirus Conspiracy" = 911 primes ]
  • "Coronavirus Torture" = 1918 jewish-latin-agrippa
... because that is what it is. You are being dominated sexually.
  • "Know the Sex Ritual" = 1918 jewish-latin-agrippa ( ie. Spanish Flu )
The maverick politician puppets are all finally wearing masks because they can't stop grinning.
The rituals of the Eyes Wide Shut party have been partially externalized.
Earth has been openly declared a single giant harem. Everybody is now an odalisque of the Empire, whether they know it or not.
As long as you wear the mask you declare yourself a submissive sex slave of the state.
  • "Prostitute" = 1234 english-extended
  • ... ( "Code of Culture" = 1234 trigonal )
  • "The Key to Victory" = "The citizens bound and gagged" = 741 primes
Noting that the number 741 is off-by-one ( a colel ) of reverse timecode 742
  • "Welcome to the School" = 1,742 trigonal
  • .. ( "Quantum Entangling" = 1,742 trigonal )
  • .. .. ( "The Ultimate Thing" = 742 jewish-latin-agrippa )
  • .. .. .. ( "Do not forget" = 742 english-extended )
  • .. .. .. ( .. your magic "Wand" = 742 squares )
  • "The New Lore of Spelling" = 742 primes
  • ... ( "The Time" = "The Riddle" = "Brutal" = 247 primes )
  • "Magic School" = 1337 squares
  • ... ( "The Virus Origin" = 1337 english-extended ) [ a metaphorical 'virus' ]
  • ... .. ( "Something Weird" = 1337 jewish-latin-agrippa )
  • ... .. .. [ "Sex Education" = 1337 english-extended ]
  • ... .. .. [ "A=1: Sex Ritual" = 1337 english-extended ]
The sigil 'A=1' above symbolizing 'quantum entanglement'.
Quantum @ Qu-Antum @ Q-Antum @ 'Antum' is the ancient name of the Queen of Heaven.
  • "World Trade Center" = 1337 english-extended
  • ... ( "Secret World" = 1337 jewish-latin-agrippa )
  • ... .. ( "A Liturgy" = 1337 english-extended )
  • "Organization" = 1337 english-extended
  • ... ( "Know a Great Secret" = 1337 english-extended )
  • ... ( "To Take My Ease" = 1337 english-extended )
  • ... .. . ( "The Serenity" = 1337 trigonal )
  • "Humanity" = "World Harem" = "The Mighty" = 369 primes
  • "Matrix Code" = "Business" = "World Harem" = 969 trigonal
  • ... .. ( "Wedding" = 969 jewish-latin-agrippa )
  • "Society" = 911 trigonal
  • "A Quantum Entangling" = 911 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • ... ( "Offensive" = "Division" = 911 jewish-latin-agrippa )
  • ... .. ( "Society" = "Magic is Sex" = 911 trigonal ) [ "Hermeticum" = 911 trigonal ]
  • "The Coven" = 911 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • ... ( "The Riddle of the Sphinx" = 911 jewish-latin-agrippa )
  • ... .. ( "To Decrypt It" = 911 jewish-latin-agrippa )
Golden ratio, accurate to three decimal places:
  • "Coven Revealed" = 1,618 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • ... ( "Symbolic" = 1,618 squares )
  • ... .. [ "The Coronavirus Trick" = 1,618 jewish-latin-agrippa ]
  • ... .. [ "The Coronavirus is a Charade" = 1,618 jewish-latin-agrippa ]
  • ... .. .. [ "The Scepter of Empire" = 1,618 trigonal ]
And thus, +1...
  • "A Coven Revealed" = 1,619 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • "The Church of the Venus" = 1,619 jewish-latin-agrippa
Below are the results of a multispectral matching operation across multiple ciphers, against my dictionary files - the closest matching spells to the word 'domination'. Following after are a similar set of results, but the latter matches are performed against my custom hand-entered lexicon files (ie. personal spellbook). The purpose of these result-sets is to examine the possibility of 'manufactured words', ie. the possibility that the lexicon is a structure encoded with intent, and contains numerically-indexed semantic association (ie. an enciphered mind-map). From another perspective, regardless of the truth of that hypothesis, all these spells listed below might - to persons of a certain mindset, perception or psychology, and to various degrees - represent, reflect, or oppose (in some fashion or other), the notion of 'domination'.
For example, a kabbalist movie scriptwriter might pick names and traits for his evil mastermind character from the list below (or derive them from anagrams thereof), in order to subtly encode the character's name with the intent he has for that character.
17 matches
  • admonition
11 matches
  • innominate
10 matches
  • marination
  • moderation [ EDIT - a new article just appeared, see here ]
  • nationwide
  • windburned
  • windscreen
9 matches
  • enlargement
  • importance
  • inapparent
  • middlemost
  • neoplastic
  • pleonastic
  • renominate
  • repurchase
  • superclean
8 matches
  • centralism
  • circumflex
  • clitorides
  • comeliness
  • conception
  • concessive
  • cumbersome
  • desolation
  • escarpment
  • evangelist
  • execration
  • forestland
  • freakishly
  • friendlily
  • greensward
  • hereabouts
  • illiteracy
  • incremental
  • indisposed
  • melodramatic
  • nucleation
  • overridden
  • paederasty
  • permeative
  • prosimian
  • reprovable
  • rheumatoid
  • shrivelled
  • wanderings
  • wordsearch
7 matches
  • accusingly
  • activation
  • aggression
  • alongshore
  • binoculars
  • bloodiness
  • bluebottle
  • capricious
  • casualness
  • cavitation
  • conjecture
  • Cornishman
  • cummerbund
  • demotivate
  • discounted
  • dishwasher
  • divisional
  • embroidery
  • endogamous
  • Evangelist
  • exasperate
  • excavation
  • foreshadow
  • grasslands
  • hierophant
  • indentured
  • inimitably
  • languisher
  • leopardess
  • libidinous
  • microlight
  • munificent
  • nutcracker
  • patchiness
  • performance
  • phylogenic
  • picaresque
  • rhapsodise
  • saltshaker
  • senatorial
  • singletree
  • strabismal
  • terraform
  • transferal
  • undeterred
  • unfiltered
  • unhandsome
6 matches
  • abundantly
  • affectively
  • alkalinity
  • allelopathic
  • anagrammatical
  • annuitant
  • arrestor
  • astonished
  • Berkshires
  • bookseller
  • bristols
  • brutalize
  • burnisher
  • calamitous
  • chautauqua
  • Christlike
  • colouring
  • consortia
  • craftiness
  • croakiness
  • crosshatch
  • daintiness
  • deepfrozen
  • equalizer
  • equivalence
  • eugenically
  • fishmonger
  • flagellation
  • heedlessly
  • Hellenizer
  • historical
  • horselaugh
  • Illinoisan
  • importer
  • incitation
  • infiltrate
  • innumerable
  • interlope
  • isolation
  • lithograph
  • litigative
  • matrilineal
  • misnumber
  • mortgagor
  • nightlight
  • nineteenth
  • nonacceptance
  • orphanhood
  • permanency
  • phonologic
  • plasterer
  • precentor
  • privateer
  • problematic
  • procurer
  • proleptic
  • purloined
  • reappoint
  • recitation
  • reclusive
  • reimport
  • repletion
  • revarnish
  • revolvable
  • sanctions
  • scantness
  • sequencing
  • skinflint
  • solecistic
  • sovereign
  • stabiliser
  • staleness
  • steersman
  • strangler
  • Tajikistan
  • uncollected
  • unhonored
  • unladylike
  • unshakably
  • Westphalia
  • Windermere
5 matches
  • abrasively
  • accompanist
  • apologist
  • behavioural
  • benevolent
  • Bridgeport
  • Chautauqua
  • chrysalis
  • cirrhoses
  • classicist
  • clickstream
  • commonweal
  • consignor
  • craziness
  • demoniacally
  • dilettanti
  • driftwood
  • efficiently
  • ellipsoidal
  • empiricism
  • encyclopedic
  • endearingly
  • energizing
  • epidemically
  • epinephrin
  • exterior
  • fasciculus
  • firstling
  • flannelette
  • frequency
  • genealogist
  • genotypic
  • guillemot
  • heterodox
  • horoscope
  • humanness
  • hungrily
  • hydration
  • identically
  • inclusive
  • initialize
  • inspirit
  • introject
  • irritably
  • jarringly
  • Marquesas
  • megavitamin
  • mesmerism
  • monoclonal
  • monsieur
  • nativist
  • necrology
  • noblewoman
  • nonjoiner
  • nursling
  • optimism
  • orthopaedic
  • pisspot
  • preadjust
  • precocity
  • presidium
  • Princeton
  • prisoner
  • providing
  • pufferfish
  • Quakerism
  • regrowth
  • reluctant
  • remodelling
  • responder
  • reticulate
  • rounders
  • sacristy
  • secretary
  • signature
  • soapsuds
  • somerset
  • stirring
  • suctional
  • syntactic
  • throwing
  • transmit
  • trapezoid
  • trillium
  • unedifying
  • unionism
  • unmindful
  • valediction
  • visitant
  • vitiator
  • vulgarise
  • waitress
4 matches
  • adaptational
  • Adventist
  • aesthetician
  • allotrope
  • amorality
  • annulment
  • antipathy
  • apportion
  • bachelorette
  • backstory
  • beseechingly
  • bluepoint
  • boondoggler
  • borrower
  • candytuft
  • carbuncular
  • chairwoman
  • comparison
  • confessor
  • conquest
  • continent
  • contorted
  • contractable
  • costumer
  • courtside
  • customer
  • determinate
  • diffidently
  • distorted
  • droopily
  • dyspepsia
  • ecumenicism
  • elocution
  • encouraging
  • endothermic
  • etherealize
  • executive
  • facilitator
  • footnoted
  • frostbite
  • generalship
  • globetrot
  • governor
  • groveller
  • guernsey
  • haemorrhoid
  • hastiness
  • history
  • holocaust
  • honorary
  • Humphrey
  • imponderable
  • inconceivable
  • intersex
  • jottings
  • junglegym
  • likeableness
  • literally
  • litterbug
  • logroller
  • magisterial
  • malthouse
  • masterpiece
  • miscount
  • Monsieur
  • necrological
  • nonillion
  • nonnative
  • nosiness
  • nutation
  • outspend
  • painkilling
  • palindromic
  • Palmcorder
  • paparazzi
  • paronymic
  • partially
  • pepperoni
  • perambulate
  • performer
  • perishables
  • perpetual
  • Philippine
  • phonetician
  • pliableness
  • posture
  • preprandial
  • Presidium
  • prostate
  • punchbowl
  • pustule
  • putative
  • pyromanic
  • queenship
  • reduplicate
  • results
  • retrofire
  • ritualise
  • Rotterdam
  • sciatically
  • Secretary
  • sentiency
  • sexiness
  • sforzati
  • shyster
  • sixtieth
  • slideshow
  • smallness
  • Somerset
  • soreness
  • spouter
  • stalwart
  • standout
  • starlight
  • subsidize
  • sweetener
  • synagogue
  • tattooer
  • tayberry
  • tenuity
  • textiles
  • timekeeping
  • totemism
  • transaxle
  • trouncer
  • turnkey
  • turnpike
  • twister
  • ulcerous
  • uncharitable
  • unground
  • unharmful
  • unhealthy
  • Unionism
  • unloving
  • unpracticed
  • unsubtle
  • untidily
  • uplifting
  • Valparaiso
  • veritably
  • virtues
  • voiceover
  • volcanology
  • volitive
  • vulcanism
  • warmonger
  • weaponize
  • whistler
  • whodunit
  • windsurf
  • wintery
  • workforce
  • worldling
  • yoghurt
3 matches
  • acquittance
  • affixation
  • alphabetize
  • antifascism
  • antonymic
  • apoplexy
  • apparatchik
  • articulated
  • beatification
  • Bialystok
  • botanically
  • brachycephalic
  • bullyboy
  • Cagliari
  • calcitic
  • cardinalship
  • chesterfield
  • chickenhearted
  • chinoiserie
  • choreograph
  • Christly
  • cinematize
  • clumsily
  • coextensive
  • congregant
  • conjuror
  • constancy
  • Continent
  • contrary
  • convolutedly
  • coriander
  • cotyledonous
  • courgette
  • courtly
  • crossbow
  • Cuisinart
  • cuspidate
  • dangerously
  • debonairly
  • decalcification
  • deliberation
  • dependably
  • depreciator
  • dereliction
  • dilapidation
  • diphthongal
  • directorial
  • domesticate
  • dubiosity
  • eavestrough
  • emotionally
  • enquiring
  • expectorant
  • expectorate
  • fairylike
  • flauntingly
  • foolishness
  • formatting
  • fundholding
  • furniture
  • geriatrician
  • Governor
  • grownup
  • Guayaquil
  • Guernsey
  • haberdashery
  • headteacher
  • hipsters
  • Holocaust
  • homogenised
  • ignitible
  • indivisible
  • internment
  • ionizer
  • Jacobinical
  • justifiable
  • keystone
  • laddishness
  • laparoscopy
  • lavatory
  • lyonnaise
  • machinery
  • manoeuvre
  • Marinduque
  • methicillin
  • misshapenly
  • momentum
  • monkshood
  • Monongahela
  • muezzin
  • mugginess
  • mugwump
  • mulberry
  • mythmaker
  • mythomane
  • Neptunian
  • nervous
  • nonaddicting
  • nontoxic
  • overleapt
  • overplay
  • overstuffed
  • overtone
  • participial
  • peevishness
  • playlist
  • politely
  • polygamy
  • predication
  • prevalently
  • prosecutor
  • Proteus
  • protocol
  • proviso
  • psychosexual
  • pudginess
  • purview
  • rearrange
  • rectilinear
  • remainder
  • resolver
  • rosemary
  • rosewood
  • schoolbook
  • schoolboy
  • Shavuoth
  • shrewdly
  • shrimping
  • silicosis
  • skimpily
  • slaphappy
  • slenderly
  • slumlord
  • sogginess
  • somnolence
  • spacewalker
  • spoonbill
  • stairlift
  • stalagmitic
  • standardise
  • stockily
  • stonily
  • stumpy
  • summery
  • summons
  • sunnily
  • swankily
  • swarthy
  • swiftly
  • taxonomic
  • teachableness
  • theorist
  • thermally
  • thickheaded
  • thrombotic
  • Thurrock
  • Tocqueville
  • tootsy
  • trichinae
  • Tuesdays
  • twinkly
  • unaddressed
  • uncertified
  • unconverted
  • unprotected
  • unquenchable
  • unseemly
  • unstably
  • unwoven
  • Uruguay
  • varsity
  • volleyer
  • voyageur
  • waxiness
  • Whistler
  • Whitsun
  • womenfolk
  • wordplay
  • wouldst
  • wrongly
All prime matches
  • abscission
  • absurdly
  • acknowledgeable
  • admonition
  • aesthetics
  • allegorize
  • altogether
  • anecdotist
  • antifreeze
  • appreciably
  • archetypic
  • auctioneer
  • audiometer
  • Aurelius
  • awareness
  • bastardly
  • bemusedly
  • bloodstain
  • bottoms
  • Bratislava
  • Brittonic
  • brusque
  • cannibalistic
  • caoutchouc
  • capacitative
  • carbonation
  • Churchillian
  • circumambience
  • citrous
  • clockwork
  • closedown
  • cluttered
  • conceptual
  • considering
  • contour
  • contrived
  • cookhouse
  • cornrow
  • crouton
  • cultist
  • declutter
  • degeneration
  • degenerative
  • delusional
  • deterrent
  • dilettante
  • disavowal
  • disinvite
  • disputable
  • distort
  • downlight
  • downlow
  • draughty
  • drippings
  • efficiently
  • elaboration
  • elaborative
  • enlightener
  • epidemically
  • epitomise
  • erectness
  • estuarial
  • excogitate
  • exhibitor
  • fairground
  • farinaceous
  • ferocious
  • firelighter
  • following
  • foresighted
  • frizzle
  • glassily
  • glassware
  • Hauptmann
  • Hellenistic
  • hellishly
  • hoovering
  • horologer
  • housewife
  • hurtful
  • huskily
  • iconoclast
  • illiterate
  • inadmissible
  • indignity
  • ingenious
  • innominate
  • inquest
  • intermesh
  • invariant
  • jointly
  • joyriding
  • judicious
  • Leoncavallo
  • lezzy
  • licitness
  • likability
  • limitedly
  • Lorenzo
  • lowdown
  • maladjusted
  • manifoldly
  • Marilynn
  • metabolize
  • meteorite
  • metricize
  • mistreat
  • mobilizer
  • mounter
  • moviemaker
  • network
  • nonjoiner
  • notation
  • occlusion
  • occlusive
  • opalescent
  • orientated
  • oubliette
  • outlands
  • pallidness
  • Penobscot
  • pervert
  • philological
  • pietistic
  • polymer
  • popinjay
  • populate
  • Powys
  • preaddress
  • predominance
  • preschool
  • President
  • president
  • proxy
  • psychobabble
  • publisher
  • purslane
  • racketeering
  • Rastafarian
  • relocation
  • remount
  • renounceable
  • republish
  • resilient
  • revaluate
  • rubberize
  • Salvadoran
  • scallywag
  • scapegoater
  • schoolmate
  • seduction
  • seductive
  • seemingly
  • seizure
  • seventeen
  • shamateur
  • shrimping
  • sightseer
  • sixty
  • solemnise
  • sophist
  • soulful
  • spoorer
  • spumoni
  • stagnancy
  • steeply
  • stemware
  • stinter
  • submergible
  • suburbs
  • subvent
  • sukiyaki
  • supernal
  • suspect
  • Taurus
  • teamwork
  • telecaster
  • thataway
  • titanium
  • Tonkinese
  • transcribe
  • Trenton
  • trilobite
  • twirler
  • unadvisable
  • uncollected
  • underpay
  • underrated
  • undersell
  • undressed
  • univalve
  • unjointed
  • unreason
  • untwine
  • Vespasian
  • vibrator
  • violist
  • vitalize
  • voiceless
  • vulcanised
  • Weizmann
  • Western
  • western
  • Whitney
  • windrow
  • workmate
  • worrier
  • worsted
  • yachtsman
  • zesty
Custom hand-entered lexicon files matches (out of 150,0000 entries from headlines, article text, comments, and my own stream of consciousness spell-entry (ie. the database into which go all my gematria calculations you see in my main writings). These are mostly in original entry order within each match-category (my program that performs these matches intentionally does not sort the final results alphabetically) Some of the results represent experimentation with spell augmentations, and other weirdness, and might not make much sense out of context. The capitalization is not consistent, as I often enter a spell multiple times, each time with differing capitalization to test how it affects the bacon cipher results Spells that are capitalized appear in italics, regardless of whether they are proper nouns or not.:
16 matches
  • Domination
10 matches
  • moderation
  • a frontline
  • learn to see
9 matches
  • to remember
  • offend a plant
  • a phantom mage
  • a phantom game
  • icon number
  • robotic arm
8 matches
  • great sight
  • to navigate
  • gain wisdom
  • great plant
  • the droning
  • tinfoil hat
  • new mineral
  • the elderly
  • flying cars
  • circumflex
  • Numbericon
  • Dark Throne
  • alien count
  • no freedoms
  • King Number
  • the raw meat
  • home number
  • single pole
  • right to ban
  • desolation
  • model taste
  • subtle bond
7 matches
  • I am new born
  • the legions
  • Is not legal
  • on the earth
  • The Black Door
  • Gain Wisdom
  • a conductor
  • erect penis
  • ferrofluid
  • heart valve
  • Evangelist
  • Yggdrasill
  • Conception
  • road safety
  • The Droning
  • the another
  • Family tree
  • dragon horn
  • The Problem
  • doctored map
  • squid brain
  • the rounded
  • math school
  • antechinus
  • to seek mate
  • humans done
  • triple heat
  • thunder act
  • the full map
  • mind point
  • inflame lung
  • say his name
  • erotic talk
  • three miles
  • one tie, body
  • techno sign
  • going viral
  • be Superman
  • the sky game
  • connect mind
  • Elfin Lords
  • Great Elves
  • another name
  • online gods
  • Spice agony
  • the arrival
  • stand there
6 matches
  • Brew of Gods
  • it is walled
  • Which plant
  • body language
  • the sublime
  • wild beasts
  • sealed shut
  • cross legged
  • to be still
  • Grail water
  • The Arrival
  • Lord of Gems
  • infiltrate
  • a hidden text
  • fake minerals
  • problematic
  • Salt Shaker
  • equivalence
  • the blue key
  • The Wine Map
  • Kingdom Key
  • King Ragnor
  • double parked
  • Please sith
  • isolation
  • Scale Ruler
  • A Wide World
  • magic keyboard
  • Ferrofluid
  • the keyboard
  • food parcels
  • was a racist
  • fifth state
  • the hogwash
  • number joke
  • autism gene
  • Crunch Time
  • number camera
  • the fed upon
  • the long neck
  • A World King
  • no more faces
  • learn spell
  • nineteenth
  • secret iPod
  • garbage swop
  • in darkness
  • the signals
  • reign news
  • A Wide River
  • cross beams
  • Water Beast
  • have no fears
  • Dragon Song
  • astonished
  • war is space
  • long times
  • huge number
  • A:What to eat
  • A1:the real book
5 matches
  • A Great Enemy
  • It is veiled
  • The Book Club
  • The One Time
  • Walled City
  • The Black Pearl
  • Family Blood
  • frequency
  • in prison
  • horoscope
  • The Sublime
  • go to sleep
  • to learn it
  • to bring it
  • The Looper
  • let it live
  • Body Language
  • The Inferno
  • Apple iPadOS
  • signature
  • Andrew Bolt
  • benevolent
  • scooters
  • Light Phone
  • all the light
  • eye have a tail
  • osteoderm
  • inclusive
  • HongKonger
  • geoglyphs
  • the sandwich
  • Hongkonger
  • debut flight
  • Impish Mind
  • keep them safe
  • Dune walker
  • moosphere
  • An Ancient Name
  • Great Black One
  • read Tolkien
  • not bragging
  • The Weir God
  • Isolation
  • mighty men
  • The Riptide
  • Book Seller
  • Isolation
  • the smoker
  • over brink
  • A Contrarian
  • Lithograph
  • This is fact
  • the ruling
  • soap bubbles
  • agent of chaos
  • reluctant
  • The Signals
  • the safe haven
  • Linkin Park
  • the great map
  • hold hostage
  • Naya Rivera
  • the expired
  • star bound
  • The One Alone
  • real dragons
  • The Key of Adam
  • the rivals
  • nice treats
  • king count
  • count king
  • the grim one
  • Great Command
  • the crooks
  • bounce singe
  • meaninglass
  • Grey Dragon
  • absolutes
  • quite rare
  • Naval Lexer
  • letter ink
  • dragon's shed
  • lost ring
  • Plato's cave
  • cross line
  • linked minds
  • kiss foot
  • Risen Lord
  • Melian's help
  • a faster clock
  • Shining One
  • The David Key
  • I am Eleventh
  • I am the Elven
  • One Throne
  • the wizard
  • Mithrandir
  • the sarcast
  • scatter ash
  • in the Black Lake
  • which witch
  • wolf night
  • the anomaly
  • a secret plan
  • A1:nine month
  • woman cycle
  • corona blood
  • woman blood
  • Lunar Blood
  • Corona Hoax
  • a few seconds
  • Asian women
  • The Belters
  • flying blind
4 matches
  • it is finis(?)
  • master piece
  • masterpiece
  • The Great Map
  • The Great Web
  • The Tabernacle
  • Do the 1 trick
  • to fight it
  • the fixers
  • the barred gate
  • A high tower
  • insert it
  • history
  • the hermetic
  • natural code
  • wait a second
  • to rotate
  • to visit
  • the revels
  • seek me out
  • build it up
  • to forfeit
  • shoot up
  • start here
  • a patient man
  • a woman of god
  • the piercing
  • the vacuum
  • Right Now
  • mobile phone
  • All you need
  • Find Venus
  • Show me a map
  • Third Move
  • Find a Tavern
  • war monger
  • Booksmart
  • Hells Angels
  • documents
  • caged teenagers
  • *Spektr-RG *
  • Amber Alerts
  • the ritual
  • nuclear pact
  • a fuel tanker
  • holocaust
  • performer
  • a April Fool
  • to wind it
  • A Time Lost
  • Laws of Noah
  • slant ramp
  • Ocean Master
  • a au-pair agent
  • starlight
  • blood type
  • paronymic
  • insults
  • rod of iron
  • The Other Lab
  • Free Party
  • Fracking boom
  • Who to blame
  • The Bing Maps
  • the centipede
  • the metrical
  • The Wizard
  • A Riddle: Steel
  • save lives
  • to posit
  • Philippine
  • after take off
  • the arrest
  • The highway
  • In theory
  • death tracker
  • cat and dog tax
  • window god
  • zodiac light
  • 1 magic moment
  • Reprobus
  • the Firefly
  • Somerset
  • A1A:the genesis
  • Time Slope
  • Loud Shading
  • gate motor
  • the sand beaches
  • inconceivable
  • keep the faith
  • upskirt
  • A Time is Done
  • global pandemic
  • book buyer
  • the health code
  • swathe death
  • In prison
  • a great impact
  • Ignore them
  • The Mud March
  • Manly P. Hall
  • the green bench
  • defund police
  • the beginning
  • the venus
  • the renaming
  • a mocking joke
  • insert it
  • to plug in
  • what is a name
  • king of earth
  • the born again
  • one grammar
  • the heart beata
  • knock over
  • The Sex Magic
  • A Wand of Abaris
  • The Designer
  • open the safe
  • agree with me
  • sum a word
  • A: Build a spell
  • the elephant
  • Lost Chord
  • abandon sight
  • alcohol sell
  • the style
  • swingers
  • lose finding
  • a trick rabbit
  • Elven Friend
  • a high standard
  • the bare bones
  • A1:Special rock
  • genetic codex
  • A1:landing-full
  • results
  • cabalist legend
  • Gulf language
  • the bank myna
  • ye submit
  • new sheeps
  • the line guage
  • Reveal agendas
  • the engendered
  • adoring them
  • Image Your
  • The Grim One
  • boiling frog
  • air waster
  • A:first key
  • in a fairyland
  • a blood taste
  • Porn share
  • Coruscant
  • A Steel Riddle
  • Water Time
  • If not A then B
  • Blue Shirt
  • the video game
  • the false claim
  • I am the Lunch
  • skin of scale
  • Silver Lake
  • I returned
  • Geoglyphs
  • media avatars
  • Crowned life
  • New Origin
  • sick world
  • remove oil
3 matches
  • someone knows
  • The Great Fact
  • The Debon King
  • Masterpiece
  • One Name of God
  • Starlight
  • of Saturn
  • seven days
  • The Long Tail
  • the long tail
  • number key
  • key number
  • key number
  • The City Gate
  • The Beginning
  • The Tower
  • spell lore
  • Hellmouth
  • History
  • The Ritual
  • Wisdom Teeth
  • all together
  • The Revels
  • all memory
  • pump blood
  • Fallen Titan
  • Age of Bronze
  • the current
  • The Current
  • father to son
  • The Hidden Keep
  • A1:True Crime
  • into the tomb
  • To visit
  • First Rain
  • The Tools
  • Hot Enough
  • polygamy
  • increase mind
  • Hollywood AAA
  • Wait a second
  • Holocaust
  • Rowhammer
  • Documents
  • a spoken word
  • rejected cereal
  • Computer:AAA
  • The Banks Rig
  • the academic pay
  • tiger count
  • rosewood
  • the riots
  • deliberation
  • wikipedia
  • The Elephant
  • A Trade Center
  • Heat Anomaly
  • The Trumpean
  • biter tooth
  • Shoshenq I
  • the standard
  • the recalling
  • momentum
  • Next Door
  • an axolotl
  • wild bird seed
  • stand down
  • The 1 Ransom
  • clever way
  • evil twin
  • the great fear
  • the momentous
  • bright circle
  • race-based hatred
  • Sense Six
  • the vote count
  • the senses
  • Choir Room
  • That Error
  • Eye of the Baal
  • total noob
  • charging bull
  • pot plant
  • pubic hair
  • green bottle
  • wolf puppy
  • The Cold drum
  • Swingers
  • the robber band
  • microglia
  • Performer
  • Old Town Road
  • A:Romulans
  • spell beans
  • the musth
  • The Tale of Pan
  • A=1: The Wrong Food
  • Zodiac Light
  • Dol Guldur
  • The Hive Test
  • Beginning IX
  • giant bubbles
  • new skins
  • great round
  • The Karate Kid
  • Caledonian Boar
  • Bultitude
  • German attack
  • tidal lock
  • small moon
  • Starbucks
  • the coffin case
  • the top brand
  • Land of Khan Eden
  • lock lungs
  • keystone
  • Six Sense
  • the envoy
  • Wedding Ring
  • go in circles
  • I have message
  • A1:Seven Days
  • the magic ring
  • the palmtree
  • time to let go
  • know great
  • Alpha Aeon Omega
  • Amoricana Brand
  • The Life Debt
  • sign up, watch
  • rideshare
  • mans grove
  • the dominant
  • the abominate
  • A Book Seller
  • A: Playing Out
  • apoplexy
  • sexy joke
  • gorean venus
  • Ken Bowersex
  • torah riddle
  • To Disobey
  • At the thing
  • all powerful
  • wordplay
  • the math twin
  • Laws of Light
  • Dream Chasers
  • a sex show
  • saves sex
  • the high born
  • Ballroom Dance
  • A Space Ghost
  • sick money
  • Swallow Whole
  • all-new model
  • to ply game
  • high death rate
  • vas school
  • Volcano High
  • the diplomat
  • wash a mask
  • Vega express
  • The Venus
  • Know the Lies
  • A Trumpet
  • tax havens
  • the vulkan
  • a fear of disease
  • A:Face the Music
  • know wine
  • our destiny
  • Proteus
  • to empty
  • build archive
  • the good food
  • The Marathon
  • to me, knights
  • cool text
  • Japanese Acts
  • The Red Plant
  • branch language
  • gain her heart
  • Ship Riot
  • to beggar belief
  • on standby
  • The Kisser
  • digital door
  • The Straw
  • Myth Tree
  • the honest
  • The Mali coup
  • man motion
  • Great Troth
  • I am the Night
  • maneouver
  • I am the thing
  • The culprit
  • Lost funding
  • warm wish
  • Uber Language
  • Crown Mine
  • sound box
  • The Line Gauge
  • The Wide Line
  • The Final Day
  • The 1 Last Day
  • The Cardinals
  • See Eschaton
  • the game count
  • I am in mine
  • Frog Faction
  • dining out
  • dragons hunt
  • to eat a heart
  • new world
  • incarnatio
  • the penitant
  • I am spirit
  • The Tauredur
  • Witch Covens
  • dream girl
  • I am vampiric
  • the Venus
  • the bite dancer
  • spiced cookie
  • great offices
  • the toilet
  • A:AstraZeneca
  • the capitals
  • the cowardice
  • fire an official
  • demise of farm
  • New World 2000
  • world war
  • Sous Vide
  • the great beer
  • Church Choir
  • come to earth
  • Blood Type
  • to be quiet
  • 1. think of it
  • You come back
  • touch time
  • Tributes
  • church hacking
  • credible thread
  • shadowy cabal
  • One Rogue Bat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njWvn6jm5cY [ "heavy metals" = 1,360 jewish-latin-agrippa ]
'Hominis Nocturna'
The ciphers used in the matching operation that resulted in the lists above were:
  • basic alphabetic (ordinal), reduction, reverse alphabetic, reverse reduction, sumerian, english-extended, jewish-latin-agripp, old-english, bacon, baconis, satanic, septenary, alw, kfw, primes, trigonal, squares.
.
EDIT:
Wordplay:
https://www.reddit.com/worldnews/comments/jnn4olung_damage_found_in_covid_dead_may_shed_light_on/
Lung damage found in COVID dead may shed light on 'long COVID'
The Chinese word for 'Dragon' is 'Long' or 'Lung' (depending on regional dialect).
...and 'shedding light' is a metaphor. Serpentine creatures shed skin.
.
Social distancing theme:
https://arstechnica.com/science/2020/11/nasa-calls-voyager-2-and-the-spacecraft-answers-from-interstellar-space/
Phone home
NASA calls Voyager 2, and the spacecraft answers from interstellar space
The spacecraft is so far south it can only talk to one Earth-bound antenna.
  • "The Spacecraft" = "I am the Dark Lord" = "A Social Distance" = 1,911 squares
  • "The Spice Craft" = "The Number" = 470 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • "The Spacecraft Answer" = 1776 trigonal
  • "Earthbound" = "Heart-bound" = 337 primes
  • ... ( "Pendragon" = "Fallen ones" = 337 english-extended )
  • "Know Earth-bound antenna" = 1717 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • ... .. ( "The Occult" = 1717 squares )
  • ... ( "Conquer the world" = 1717 trigonal )
  • "Know one Earth-bound antenna" = 1812 jewish-latin-agrippa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbxgYlcNxE8
Tchaikovsky - 1812 Overture (Full with Cannons)
.
Four days ago I made this stub page, ...
... which contains, as one of only two "non-numeric" themed spells, "A Super Typhoon"
Today, the press provides an answer and contribution:
https://www.wired.com/story/what-is-a-super-typhoon-and-why-are-they-so-dangerous/
What Is a Super Typhoon, and Why Are They So Dangerous?
Massive storms like Goni, which hit the Philippine islands on Sunday, could be a glimpse of our future.
  • "Massive storms" = 644 primes | 3,322 squares ( "Rain" = 322 trigonal )
We also see that:
  • "Massive storms" = 1,365 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • ... ( "The Source" = 365 primes )
ie. 365 days in a year, which prompts thoughts of solar storms.
  • "A Storm of the Sun God" = 911 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • "The Storm of a Sun God" = 911 jewish-latin-agrippa
  • ... ( "The Sun God" = 1,777 squares )
Let's answer their question with itself:
Q: What Is a Super Typhoon, and Why Are They So Dangerous
"A: What Is a Super Typhoon, and Why Are They So Dangerous" = 911 primes
  • "The Whirlwind Empire" = 1776 trigonal | 3333 squares | 680 primes
... and the Whirlwind is the Empire.
Domination by Uber Typhon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HDlr44qeHY [ refuse mask @ rfs msk ]
'Indominus Rex, camouflage scene'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eESY85D-G5w
'Typhon'
.
https://www.reddit.com/worldnews/comments/jnnh2v/five_days_straight_of_no_new_coronavirus_cases_o
Five days straight of no new coronavirus cases or deaths in Victoria, Australia
Q: how many days straight?
"A: Five days straight" = 1611 jewish-latin-agrippa ( = "Show me the key" )
The key to what?
  • "The Key to Victory" = 2020 jewish-latin-agrippa ( "The 1 Key to Victory" = 742 primes )
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecvpq_b590c
Star Wars - 'Emperor Palpatine Suite' (Theme)
submitted by Orpherischt to GeometersOfHistory [link] [comments]


2020.11.01 21:03 beeboobop2thetop First camera time sex hidden

I’ve been watching this group for some time now. Reading stories and connecting a lot to what's been shared. It’s been one year since I walked out of a courthouse divorce. It was a 5-day trial, 8 hours a day. This day last year I thought I’d feel relief. Freedom. Happiness. But it was quite the opposite. As I finally was free I started my healing process and with healing came reliving and accepting everything that I went through. I want to share because there’s a wonderful light at the end of the tunnel. Here’s my story:
I was a nobody when I met my narc and he loved that. He knew I struggled with eating issues for over a decade. He knew I was an empathetic person. He love-bombed me and I fell quickly. He took me on vacations, treated me like a princess, took me skiing, to exotic countries and we were engaged one year later. Shortly after, I found out he was an addict. I felt so bad. He painted a story that any empath would be eager to help. He went into recovery and got “better”. He was a high-functioning addict. He continued to struggle here and there. We had many ups and downs. He would knock me down with words and try to build me back up. I pushed family and friends away. My only friends were his. Once we were married, the love-bombing stopped. We rarely would have sex. He nic-picked everything I would do. If I left a cheese wrapper on the table, he would freak. He was controlling, but in a very subtle way. I put my focus into other things and I found myself. I got my Masters. I got new career opportunities and then, I started my own business.
At the time he was an executive. I, 9 years younger, became a self made millionaire by 28. I paid off his MBA loans, our cars, we bought our first house. I worked from home and he loved that. I stayed home, working, making money while he traveled for work. I felt like a slave. I had my first baby in 2014 and then another in 2015. I built a multi million dollar company and sold it in 2016 for $2.5M. And that's when our relationship took a strong dive. He started to use drugs again. Blame me. He couldn’t believe I sold “our” company. He told me that I knew he had always wanted to be a CEO and I sold to destroy his dreams. I started to believe I was a nasty, mean person. I believed all his lies. I wanted a divorce. But then I found out I was pregnant. We moved across country to "start" over. We were struggling in our marriage, but I believed that it was all because of the pressure of living in that city. He convinced me (as they always do) that things would change. It's never his fault it's the surroundings. So we moved.
I thought things were going well. No. He just got better at lying and hiding. Not shortly after I gave birth at the end of 2017, I internally made the decision that I had to leave. But I couldn't find the courage. I kept everything a secret from friends and family. I didn't want anyone to know what was going on. I wanted the World to believe I had the perfect little family. I was embarrassed. No one was there to push me. But it's no ones fault but mine, because I had to push myself.
He put private detectives on me. He had cameras on me in the home. GPS on my car. A device on my bedroom door that would alarm him if it was open, hidden cameras in tissue boxes, drugs in wall sockets, drugs in lamps, drugs in fake books, drugs in pens and markers, and the list goes on.
And finally, in Oct of 2018 we “separated” where he was living in the guest suite using 10X a day. I made up my mind that it was divorce. In my mind, I needed him sober. I didn’t want to divorce with him using crack and meth. I question myself on whether or not that was my excuse not to file, or if I really wanted him sober and clean. I still don't know the answer and it doesn't matter much anymore. His father (94) passed away Dec of 2018 so he was living in a different state for several months. He filed for divorce in Jan 2019. And so my hell started.
Our entire marriage he handled the finances. He took me off every single account. He began withdrawing tens of thousands of dollars. He liquidated 529s (150k), he sold every stock we had, he liquidated 401ks, IRAs, everything post marriage. He spent the money on lavish vacations, cars, escorts, hotels, escorts, drugs, parties, escorts, expensive rent, did I mention escorts!? I had no control. I went to the courts and they demanded him to give me access. I had to open credit cards to buy my kids food and pay for their school. I had over $50k in credit card debt. He threatened that the judge would throw me in jail. He refused to comply with anything. He would rebuttal, he lied and hid. When a district judge finally threw down the hammer, the next day he checked himself into a $55k 30-day inpatient, which he spent his time there harassing me, watching porn, liquidating funds, bringing escorts into the facility, taking women on shopping sprees, etc.
I had to watch this while I took care of 3 under 4. I had to talk positively about my narc when asked. When they came to me and ask where their dad was? I cried every night. Everything I worked hard for was being washed away. Worse, my lawyer and courts couldn’t do anything. The more we tried the more it cost. Within that time he lost over $1M. After the divorce together we spent $700k in fees. We sold both our homes, one at a significant loss losing hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Finally after 7 months of trying to get control, I received access to our accounts and the bleeding semi-stopped. We went through Discovery, where we had to share all our medical records, text messages, bank statements, app information, etc. I became a detective putting together the past 10 years of my life with this man. I'm still healing from what I found.
He went by another name. A pseudonym. When he left the house he was literally a different person. I put together a timeline of every affair I could find, every trip, every dollar spent. I kept digging and digging thinking that this information would magically set me free. Sometimes I still cry over it. This man I birthed 3 beautiful children with and gave 10 years of myself to, is a psychopath, a narcissist, an addict, a liar, and a scary man. I found online reviews he left for escorts of all kinds -- women, men, transgender, teenagers, etc. I found out he was being blackmailed for some video tape (I believe under age sex, but I couldn't prove it), and more. The biggest moments I can't seem to move past was how hours before my daughter's birthday, he was with an escort and then came home to kiss us and sing happy birthday and eat cake with us. Or, how he was with an escort and doing drugs and drove home for a ready Thanksgiving meal. I believe he cheated on me right before our wedding as well. Or, how no more than 2 months of us moving, he cheated on me with someone. I was willing to move mountains so this mad could be happy and be healed. And he felt no emotion of that. Instead he viewed me as a cold robot with no emotions.
During the divorce, he reached out to the company which purchased my company. He told them I stole their files and information and was using it to compete with them. They filed a federal lawsuit against me. He convinced them I was stealing their clients. I wasn’t. It took me over a year to prove that and they dropped the case. Narc want to exhaust you. They want to win. They will do whatever it takes to break you down and get their way.
At the end of all of it I had $300k in cash to use to purchase a home. I went from being a multi millionaire to having just enough for a down payment for a house in a city that I couldn’t leave. I had no job at the time and felt trapped. I sat with all that information. I sat through 5 days with a judge judging me FOR STAYING! I sat there for 2.5 of those days with a lawyer gaslighting me like he did for 10 years. I sat for 10 years living it. This exact day one year ago I could have continued to sit. I could have been a victim who was surviving. Or I could have been a victim who was thriving. I finally stood up. I planted my feet so far into the ground outside that courthouse and I screamed. I let it all out. I cried, tirelessly. But I chose to thrive.
I got a job, which allowed me to qualify for a mortgage. I purchased a home. I found new clients for my business on the side. I worked my ass off. I worked late nights. Early mornings. I stayed positive. Anything that came my way was an opportunity. Always optimistic. I never let myself get down or feel broken. I poured into myself. Anything my narc did or said, it no longer had control over me. Literally. His words mean nothing. I give them no power. He talks and I hear nothing. His threats have no power. He's been 9 months sober but still treats me like shit. His behavior will never change. But that has nothing to do with me. And I would never have been able to change that. I accept that.
One year later. I have a new person in my life. I officially became a millionaire for the second time. I built a new company. I’m building a new product. I continue to stand tall and walk in the direction that I want to be in, I no longer sit through anything. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of the strength that I found that I never knew I had. And I wish someone could have told me this advice more than two years ago:
Accept you can not change a narc. The sooner the better. You make the choice to stay with a narc. The only thing in your way is You. File for divorce first!!! Document everything (if you haven’t, document behavior before you file) Make sure your banks know you filed for divorce and put a hold on your assets until you get a court agreement for budget spending. If you go to court, do as many things as possible. Load up the agenda. If not, your lawyer will continue to make you go back paying large fees. No contact when kids are in the picture is nearly impossible. But limit contact. Only respond about kid stuff only. Don’t engage. It’s hard but keep responses short. Let yourself heal. Don’t ignore signs of future narcs. Don’t deny safe love. Read Safe People. Great book. Stop sitting and stand up. Stand up for yourself.
I'm a strong, independent woman. When I told my friends my story, they couldn't believe it. Narcs want a challenge. They find strong people. They find empathic people. They get off when they control someone like me. But at the end of the day, you go to bed with yourself. And you are the only one that's going to change your situation. Stop sitting. Start standing.
submitted by beeboobop2thetop to NarcAbuseAndDivorce [link] [comments]


2020.11.01 21:00 beeboobop2thetop Today Marks 1 Year Divorced from a Narc. My story and advice of healing and moving forward after losing almost everything.

I’ve been watching this group for some time now. Reading stories and connecting a lot to what's been shared. It’s been one year since I walked out of a courthouse divorce. It was a 5-day trial, 8 hours a day. This day last year I thought I’d feel relief. Freedom. Happiness. But it was quite the opposite. As I finally was free I started my healing process and with healing came reliving and accepting everything that I went through. I want to share because there’s a wonderful light at the end of the tunnel. Here’s my story:
I was a nobody when I met my narc and he loved that. He knew I struggled with eating issues for over a decade. He knew I was an empathetic person. He love-bombed me and I fell quickly. He took me on vacations, treated me like a princess, took me skiing, to exotic countries and we were engaged one year later. Shortly after, I found out he was an addict. I felt so bad. He painted a story that any empath would be eager to help. He went into recovery and got “better”. He was a high-functioning addict. He continued to struggle here and there. We had many ups and downs. He would knock me down with words and try to build me back up. I pushed family and friends away. My only friends were his. Once we were married, the love-bombing stopped. We rarely would have sex. He nic-picked everything I would do. If I left a cheese wrapper on the table, he would freak. He was controlling, but in a very subtle way. I put my focus into other things and I found myself. I got my Masters. I got new career opportunities and then, I started my own business.
At the time he was an executive. I, 9 years younger, became a self made millionaire by 28. I paid off his MBA loans, our cars, we bought our first house. I worked from home and he loved that. I stayed home, working, making money while he traveled for work. I felt like a slave. I had my first baby in 2014 and then another in 2015. I built a multi million dollar company and sold it in 2016 for $2.5M. And that's when our relationship took a strong dive. He started to use drugs again. Blame me. He couldn’t believe I sold “our” company. He told me that I knew he had always wanted to be a CEO and I sold to destroy his dreams. I started to believe I was a nasty, mean person. I believed all his lies. I wanted a divorce. But then I found out I was pregnant. We moved across country to "start" over. We were struggling in our marriage, but I believed that it was all because of the pressure of living in that city. He convinced me (as they always do) that things would change. It's never his fault it's the surroundings. So we moved.
I thought things were going well. No. He just got better at lying and hiding. Not shortly after I gave birth at the end of 2017, I internally made the decision that I had to leave. But I couldn't find the courage. I kept everything a secret from friends and family. I didn't want anyone to know what was going on. I wanted the World to believe I had the perfect little family. I was embarrassed. No one was there to push me. But it's no ones fault but mine, because I had to push myself.
He put private detectives on me. He had cameras on me in the home. GPS on my car. A device on my bedroom door that would alarm him if it was open, hidden cameras in tissue boxes, drugs in wall sockets, drugs in lamps, drugs in fake books, drugs in pens and markers, and the list goes on.
And finally, in Oct of 2018 we “separated” where he was living in the guest suite using 10X a day. I made up my mind that it was divorce. In my mind, I needed him sober. I didn’t want to divorce with him using crack and meth. I question myself on whether or not that was my excuse not to file, or if I really wanted him sober and clean. I still don't know the answer and it doesn't matter much anymore. His father (94) passed away Dec of 2018 so he was living in a different state for several months. He filed for divorce in Jan 2019. And so my hell started.
Our entire marriage he handled the finances. He took me off every single account. He began withdrawing tens of thousands of dollars. He liquidated 529s (150k), he sold every stock we had, he liquidated 401ks, IRAs, everything post marriage. He spent the money on lavish vacations, cars, escorts, hotels, escorts, drugs, parties, escorts, expensive rent, did I mention escorts!? I had no control. I went to the courts and they demanded him to give me access. I had to open credit cards to buy my kids food and pay for their school. I had over $50k in credit card debt. He threatened that the judge would throw me in jail. He refused to comply with anything. He would rebuttal, he lied and hid. When a district judge finally threw down the hammer, the next day he checked himself into a $55k 30-day inpatient, which he spent his time there harassing me, watching porn, liquidating funds, bringing escorts into the facility, taking women on shopping sprees, etc.
I had to watch this while I took care of 3 under 4. I had to talk positively about my narc when asked. When they came to me and ask where their dad was? I cried every night. Everything I worked hard for was being washed away. Worse, my lawyer and courts couldn’t do anything. The more we tried the more it cost. Within that time he lost over $1M. After the divorce together we spent $700k in fees. We sold both our homes, one at a significant loss losing hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Finally after 7 months of trying to get control, I received access to our accounts and the bleeding semi-stopped. We went through Discovery, where we had to share all our medical records, text messages, bank statements, app information, etc. I became a detective putting together the past 10 years of my life with this man. I'm still healing from what I found.
He went by another name. A pseudonym. When he left the house he was literally a different person. I put together a timeline of every affair I could find, every trip, every dollar spent. I kept digging and digging thinking that this information would magically set me free. Sometimes I still cry over it. This man I birthed 3 beautiful children with and gave 10 years of myself to, is a psychopath, a narcissist, an addict, a liar, and a scary man. I found online reviews he left for escorts of all kinds -- women, men, transgender, teenagers, etc. I found out he was being blackmailed for some video tape (I believe under age sex, but I couldn't prove it), and more. The biggest moments I can't seem to move past was how hours before my daughter's birthday, he was with an escort and then came home to kiss us and sing happy birthday and eat cake with us. Or, how he was with an escort and doing drugs and drove home for a ready Thanksgiving meal. I believe he cheated on me right before our wedding as well. Or, how no more than 2 months of us moving, he cheated on me with someone. I was willing to move mountains so this mad could be happy and be healed. And he felt no emotion of that. Instead he viewed me as a cold robot with no emotions.
During the divorce, he reached out to the company which purchased my company. He told them I stole their files and information and was using it to compete with them. They filed a federal lawsuit against me. He convinced them I was stealing their clients. I wasn’t. It took me over a year to prove that and they dropped the case. Narc want to exhaust you. They want to win. They will do whatever it takes to break you down and get their way.
At the end of all of it I had $300k in cash to use to purchase a home. I went from being a multi millionaire to having just enough for a down payment for a house in a city that I couldn’t leave. I had no job at the time and felt trapped. I sat with all that information. I sat through 5 days with a judge judging me FOR STAYING! I sat there for 2.5 of those days with a lawyer gaslighting me like he did for 10 years. I sat for 10 years living it. This exact day one year ago I could have continued to sit. I could have been a victim who was surviving. Or I could have been a victim who was thriving. I finally stood up. I planted my feet so far into the ground outside that courthouse and I screamed. I let it all out. I cried, tirelessly. But I chose to thrive.
I got a job, which allowed me to qualify for a mortgage. I purchased a home. I found new clients for my business on the side. I worked my ass off. I worked late nights. Early mornings. I stayed positive. Anything that came my way was an opportunity. Always optimistic. I never let myself get down or feel broken. I poured into myself. Anything my narc did or said, it no longer had control over me. Literally. His words mean nothing. I give them no power. He talks and I hear nothing. His threats have no power. He's been 9 months sober but still treats me like shit. His behavior will never change. But that has nothing to do with me. And I would never have been able to change that. I accept that.
One year later. I have a new person in my life. I officially became a millionaire for the second time. I built a new company. I’m building a new product. I continue to stand tall and walk in the direction that I want to be in, I no longer sit through anything. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of the strength that I found that I never knew I had. And I wish someone could have told me this advice more than two years ago:
Accept you can not change a narc. The sooner the better. You make the choice to stay with a narc. The only thing in your way is You. File for divorce first!!! Document everything (if you haven’t, document behavior before you file) Make sure your banks know you filed for divorce and put a hold on your assets until you get a court agreement for budget spending. If you go to court, do as many things as possible. Load up the agenda. If not, your lawyer will continue to make you go back paying large fees. No contact when kids are in the picture is nearly impossible. But limit contact. Only respond about kid stuff only. Don’t engage. It’s hard but keep responses short. Let yourself heal. Don’t ignore signs of future narcs. Don’t deny safe love. Read Safe People. Great book. Stop sitting and stand up. Stand up for yourself.
I'm a strong, independent woman. When I told my friends my story, they couldn't believe it. Narcs want a challenge. They find strong people. They find empathic people. They get off when they control someone like me. But at the end of the day, you go to bed with yourself. And you are the only one that's going to change your situation. Stop sitting. Start standing.
submitted by beeboobop2thetop to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]


2020.10.31 20:01 jillloyo First time sex hidden camera

Happy Halloween MUE Friends :) As always, thanks for checking out my sale! I'm trying hard for a low-buy while also cutting down on some back-ups/products that just didn't work for me. I added a bunch of new stuff this week & there will be more to come!

  • Everything is NEW & FULL SIZE unless otherwise noted. As for the used products, most were only color swatched & still include the original box/packaging. The pictures show exactly what you'll receive - but if you're unsure or need more info, just ask :)
  • SHIPPING: Starts $4 up to 15oz (First Class Mail) + will increase to $7-9 if over 1lb, depending on weight/location (Priority Mail). Orders shipped within 2 business days with lots of love & bubblewrap ♡
  • PAYMENT: PayPal G&S always. Minimum purchase of $10 (before shipping). Please make sure your shipping address in PayPal is correct before payment.
  • FREEBIES with every purchase - FWP lists are at the bottom of both sale posts. As long as you cover shipping (if over 1lb), please take whatever you want! Just want to see this stuff go to someone who will use it! Don't be shy!
  • SKINCARE SALE - Feel free to mix & match from both lists - same goes for the freebies.

EYE SHADOW PALETTES & EYE PRIMER
  • BAD HABIT Artistry Palette | Swatched | $4
  • BEAUTY BY POPSUGAR Trio Time Eye - Dubai | RV $27 | $6
  • BUTTER LONDON Sheer Wisdom Serum Shadow (3 Shades - Sepia Tan, Driftwood, Maplewood) | $5 each
  • CHARLOTTE RONSON All Eye Need Palette - Lake | Light Use | $3
  • COLOURPOP Baby Got Peach | BNIB | $11
  • COLOURPOP I Think I Love You Palette (discontinued) | Light/Mod Use | $13
  • COLOURPOP It's My Pleasure Palette | Light Use/Missing Middle Shade | $8
  • DOSE OF COLORS The Girls Desi x Katy Eyeshadow Quad | Light/Mod Use | RV$28 | $7
  • ELF Putty Primer in Cream & Rose | Swatched | $2.50 each
  • GLOSSIER Skywash Matte Lid Tint - Pebble | $13
  • HUDA BEAUTY Coral Obsessions Palette | RV$27 | $12
  • JUVIA'S PLACE Nubian Mini | Like New/swatched; Box Incl.| $3
  • JUVIA'S PLACE Magic Mini | Like New/swatched 4 shades, others new; Box Incl. | RV $25 | $12
  • KAT VON D Monarch Palette | Swatched | $25
  • KYLIE The Royal Peach Palette | Swatched/No Brush | $20
  • MUR Flawless Matte 32 pc Palette (L) | Like New/swatched | $4
  • MUR Flawless Matte #2 32 pc Palette (R) | Like New/swatched | $4
  • MUR Redemption Palette - Essential Mattes | Very Light Use | $4
  • MALLY Mallywood | (L) NWOB (small imperfection) | $4
  • MALLY Mallys Mattes | (R) NWOB (small imperfection) | $4
  • MAYBELLINE Mini City in 480 Matte About Town | Swatched | $2
  • MORPHE Eyeshadow Palette (350M?) | Light Use on few pans, most unused | $10
  • PERIPERA Ink Fitting Shadow #17 Pink Recipe | Light Use | $2
  • SMASHBOX Cover Shot Palette - Punked | Only used top left shade| RV$29 | $12
  • SMASHBOX + Vlada Cover Shot Palette - Petal Metal | Swatched | RV$29 | $13
  • STILA Stars Aligned Glitter & Glow Liquid Eye Shadow Set | 2x Mini | $14
  • TARTE Amazonian Clay Eye & Cheek Palette | BN/small smudge on 1 pan | $15
  • TARTE Golden Day Dreams | $15
  • TOO FACED Best Year Ever 2018 Palette | Light Use | $16
  • TOO FACED Matte Chocolate Chip Palette | Swatched; Box Incl. | $11
  • TOO FACED Semi-Sweet Chocolate Bar Eyeshadow Palette | Swatched; Box Incl. | RV$49 | $25
  • TOO FACED Twinkle Twinkle Liquid Glitter Eye Shadow - 2 SHADES: Strawberries & Champagne & Guava Glitz | RV$22 | $10 each
  • TOO FACED Shadow Insurance | Mini | $5
  • ULTA Complete Eye 5-in-1 Palette - Jazz | Swatched | $3.50
  • ULTA Matte Neutrals Palette | Like New/swatched 3/12 pans | $8
  • URBAN DECAY Naked Ultimate Basics | $18
FACE PALETTES
  • COLOURPOP x Alexis Ren TOPAZ Bronzer and Highlighting Palette (discontinued) | Swatched | $13
  • ELF Illuminating Palette | Swatched | $2
  • ELF Total Face Palette | Swatched | $2
  • MODELS OWN Sculpt & Glow Highlighter Palette in Strobe Light 09 | Swatched | $2.50
  • MUR Pro HD Powder Contour Palette - Fair | Swatched | $7
  • MUR Pro HD Brighter Than My Future | Swatched | $10 (large)
  • NARS Overlust Cheek Palette | BNIB| RV$59 | $35
  • PACIFICA Desert Sunset Matte Blush & Bronzer| $7
  • SMASHBOX Holidaze Contour + Spotlight Palette | Like New; Swatched couple pans; Box Incl. | $25
  • ULTA Complete Face Sculpting Palette in Astoria | Swatched | $2.50
  • ULTA Conceal & Correct Fair-to-Light Palette | Swatched | $3
HIGHLIGHTERS & BLUSH
  • ARTIST COUTURE Diamond Glow Powder - Illuminati | Light Use | RV $27 | $10
  • BECCA Shimmering Skin Perfector - Opal | 0.08oz | $8
  • BECCA Shimmering Skin Perfecter - Champagne Pop | 0.04oz | $5
  • BENEFIT High Beam Liquid Highlighter | FS | $10
  • BENEFIT Watt's Up Stick Highlighter | New/small smudge on tip | Mini | $4
  • BUTTER LONDON Glow On The Go Pen - Rose Gold & White Gold | $4 each
  • COLOURPOP Sailor Moon Powder Blush - Cat's Eye | $15
  • COVER FX Custom Enhancer Drops - Moonlight | Mini | $6
  • COVER FX Shimmer Veil in Soleil | RV $28 | $6
  • DAISY & PEARL Natural Radiance Booster | Swatched; Box Incl. | RV $22 | $4
  • ESTATE Baked Highlight Powder - Dew Me Pearl | Swatched | 0.11oz | $2.50
  • JAPONESQUE Kumadori Ombre Highlighter | Swatched | RV$29 | $15
  • L'OREAL True Match Lumi Glotion in 902 Light Glow | $5
  • MUR Bronze & Glow Powder Bronzer & Highlighter Duo | Light Use | $3
  • MUR Jelly Highlighter - Dazzling (silver) & Prestigious (gold) | Swatched | $3 each
  • MUR Skin Kiss - Golden Kiss | Swatched | $2
  • MUR Ultra Strobe Balm Single in Euphoria | Swatched | $1
  • MUR Unicorn Elixir Highlighter Drops | Swatched | $2.50
  • MUR Luminous Luna Liquid Highlighter Drops | Swatched | $2.50
  • NARS Blush - Orgasm | Mini | $8
  • NARS Highlighting Powder Duo - Hungry Heart (L)| Light Use/No Box | RV $38 | $15
  • NARS Highlighting Blush Powder - Satellite of Love 5135 (R) | Light Use; Box Incl. | RV $38 | $15
  • OFRA Blush Singles - Candy Apple, Format Blush & Blush Chameleon | 4g |$6 each
  • OFRA Blush/Bronzer - Illuminating Blush Stripes | Swatched | RV $35 | $16
  • OFRA Eyeshadow/Highlighter - Bliss | Swatched | 4g | $5
  • OFRA Mini Highlighter - Rodeo Drive | 4g | $5
  • PACIFICA Get Lit Multi-High Light Drops in Aquamarine | Swatched | RV $15 | $3
  • PHYSICIAN'S FORMULA Murumuru Butter Highlighter - Rose Gold | NWOB | $3
  • PHYSICIAN'S FORMULA Murumuru Butter Highlighter - Pearl | Light Use | $3
  • PRETTY VULGAR Shimmering Swan Highlighter - Glow Up 126 | Swatched | RV $32 | $6
  • PYT BEAUTY Upgrade Highlighter - Backstage Pass | Swatched | Mini | $3
  • TARTE Tarteist Pro Glow Liquid Highlighter - Stunner | Mini | $4
  • TARTE Tarteist Pro Glow Liquid Highlighter - Stunner | RV $29 | $10
  • TARTE Tarteist Pro Glow Liquid Highlighter - Exposed | RV $29 | $10
  • TOO FACED Fruit Cocktail Blush Duo - Like My Melons | Swatched | $10
  • WANDER BEAUTY Highlighter - After Hours | Mini | $2
  • WET N WILD Cushion Highlight - Who's That Pearl | $3
BRONZERS
  • BAREMINERALS Bareskin Sheer Sun Serum Bronzer | Mini | $5
  • CARGO Bronzer - Light (left) | NWOB/small smudge | $7
  • CARGO HydraBronze Bronzing Powder (middle) | NWOB | $8
  • CARGO Water Resistant Bronzer (right)| Swatched | $6
  • LANCOME Star Bronzer Natural Glow Long Lasting Bronzing Powder - 02 Solaire | Light Use | RV $38 | $12
  • LAURA GELLER Baked Bronze-N-Brighten - Medium | Swatched | Mini | $3
  • OFRA Coral Blush/Bronzer Stripes | Like New, swatched 1x; Box Incl. | RV$35 | $12
  • PERFEKT Cheek Perfection Gel - Bronzed | $12
  • SEPHORA Cushion Bronzer - Medium/Tan 02 | $5
  • TARTE Amazonian Clay Smoothing Balm - Tan | $7
  • TARTE Amazonian Clay Bronzer - Park Ave Princess | Mini | $6
  • TOO FACED Unicorn Tears Iridescent Mystical Bronzer | $14
  • TOO FACED Chocolate Soleil - Medium/Deep Matte Bronzer | Mini | $3
FACE PRIMERS & SETTING SPRAYS
  • BAREMINERALS Dew Mist Setting Spray | Mini | $3
  • BAREMINERALS Prime Time Primer | Mini | $3
  • BENEFIT Stay Flawless 15 Hour Primer Stick | Mini | $2
  • BENEFIT Porefessional Pore Primer | Mini | $3.50 (2 avail)
  • COVER FX Custom Blot Drops - Oil Control (discontinued) | RV $38 | $22
  • COVER FX Custom Infusion Drops - Radiance C+ Lemongrass | RV $38 | $10
  • COVER FX Custom Infusion Drops - Hydration F+ Neroli | RV $38 | $10
  • COVER FX Custom Infusion Drops - Anti-Aging A+ Jasmine | RV $38 |$10
  • COVER FX Blurring Primer | FS | BN/Sealed | RV $38 | $18
  • COVER FX Dewy Skin Primer | FS | Swatched | RV $38 | $14
  • COVER FX Water Cloud Primer | 0.16oz | $2
  • COVER FX Illuminating Setting Spray | Used 2x; Box Incl. | $10
  • COVER FX High Performance Setting Spray | Mini | $3
  • ELF Retro Paradise Primer Glow Oil | $7
  • FIRST AID BEAUTY Coconut Smoothie Priming Moisturizer | RV $29 | $11
  • FLOWER BEAUTY Seal the Deal Hydrating Setting Spray | $5
  • INN BEAUTY PROJECT Power Up Dual-Phase Setting Mist | RV $32 | $12
  • IPKN Radiant Skin Primer | Used 2x | RV$28 |$14
  • HOURGLASS Veil Mineral Primer | Mini | $4 (2 avail)
  • JAPONESQUE Velvet Touch Primer | Mini + Sample Foil | $4
  • LAURA GELLER Soothing Spackle Treatment Makeup Primer | RV $32 | $16
  • MAC Fix+ Shimmer Setting Spray - Goldlite | $20
  • MAC Lightful Marine-Bright Formula Essence Serum \discontinued** | Used 2-3x | $12
  • MAC Prep + Primer Natural Radiance Base | 0.2oz | $2
  • MAC Strobe Cream | 0.2oz | $2
  • MAKE UP FOR EVER Step 1 Skin Equalizer Primer | 0.16oz | $3
  • MODELS OWN This is Life Super Elixir Oil | $4
  • MUR Conceal & Fix Mattifying Primer | Like New; Used 1x | $3.50
  • NYX Hydratouch Oil Primer | Used 2-3x; Almost Full | $3.50
  • NYX Total Control Drop Primer | Light Use; 75% Left | RV $17 | $2.50
  • NYX Honey Dew Me Up Primer | RV $17 | $9 (2 avail)
  • NYX Shine Killer Primer | Like New; Used 1x | $2.50
  • NYX Bare With Me Cannabis Sativa Radiant Perfecting Primer | $9
  • OFRA Cool as a Cucumber | RV $20 | $9
  • OFRA Silicone Primer | RV $20 | $9
  • PACIFICA Crystal Illuminating Primer | $8
  • PUR No Filter Blurring Photography Primer | Mini | $1
  • SMASHBOX Photo Finish Primer Water | 1oz | $5
  • SMASHBOX Photo Finish Primer Water | FS | RV $32 | $17
  • SMITH & CULT Blackdrop Mattifying Primer | Mini | Swatched | $2
  • TARTE Base Tape Hydrating Primer | RV $30 | $13
  • TOO FACED Dew You Fresh Glow Luminous Face Primer - Radiant Pearl | Swatched | $14
  • TOO FACED Hangover Rx Replenishing Face Primer | 0.16oz | $1.50
  • TOO FACED Dew You Fresh Glow Setting Spray | RV $33 | $15
  • TOO FACED Watermelon Hangover Replenishing Primer & Setting Spray | RV $33 | $15
  • TOUCH IN SOL No Poreblem Prime Essence Calendula Flower | RV $23 | $9
  • URBAN DECAY Rehab Makeup Prep Hot Springs Hydrating Gel | $15
  • VDL Lumilayer Primer | RV $32 | $18
CONCEALERS
  • AMAZING COSMETICS Amazing Concealer - Medium Golden | Swatched; Box Incl. | RV$28 | $7
  • AMAZING COSMETICS Amazing Concealer - Light Beige | Swatched; Box Incl. | RV$28 | $7
  • AMAZING COSMETICS Illuminate Concealer - Light Caramel | Swatched; Box Incl. | RV$30 | $7
  • AMAZING COSMETICS Illuminate Concealer - Dark Beige | BN | RV $30 | $8
  • AMAZING COSMETICS Amazing Concealer - Dark Caramel | BN | RV $30 | $8
  • BAREMINERALS Bareskin Serum Concealer - Medium | Swatched; Box Incl. | RV $24 | $11
  • BAREMINERALS Multi-Tasking Concealer - Honey Bisque & Medium Beige | Mini | $3 each
  • CARGO Jet Lag Concealer - 02 | Light Use | RV $30 | $2
  • CATRICE One Drop Coverage Concealer - Ivory Rose 004 | $3.50
  • CHARLOTTE TILBURY Magic Away Concealer - 4 Fair | See Usage | RV $32 | $10
  • FLESH Hide The Evidence Double Concealer - Medium Pinkish | RV $28 | $12
  • GARNIER BB Miracle Skin Perfector Daily Eye Roller - FairLight | Swatched | $2
  • IT COSMETICS Bye Bye Undereye Concealer - Neutral Light | 0.28oz | $10
  • JAPONESQUE Pixelated Color Eyelighter - Shade 01 | BN | $7
  • JAPONESQUE Pixelated Color Eyelighter - Shade 03 | NIB but product seeped up to brush | $5
  • KOKIE Be Bright Illuminating Concealer - Light | Swatched | $3.50
  • LORAC Touch Up Pen - 2 Shades: Peach CF5 & Light Beige CF3 | Swatched | RV $28 | $5 each
  • L'OREAL Infallible Full Wear More than Concealer - 345 Oatmeal | Swatched | $3
  • MODELS OWN Cover It Concealer in Deep 05 & Warm Deep 06 | $2 each
  • MALLY Circle of Light Face Brightener - Lighter | NIB but product seeped up to brush | $8
  • MALLY H3 Concealer - Light | Swatched; Box Incl.| RV$27 | $5
  • MALLY See The Light Concealer - FAIR | Swatched; Box Incl.| $5
  • MALLY See The Light Concealer - MEDIUM | Swatched; Box Incl. | $5
  • NARS Stick Concealer - Chantilly (Light 1) | Moderate Use/Imperfection | $4
  • NYX 3C Concealer Palette - Light 3CP01 | $4 (2 avail)
  • PACIFICA Liquid Cover Concealer - 17CL Light Cool | Swatched | $7
  • PHYSICIANS FORMULA Instaready Full Coverage Concealer - 6805 Light | $4 (1 left)
  • PRETTY VULGAR Undercover Concealer - The Middle Ground | Swatched | RV $25 | $9
  • REVLON Photoready Candid Antioxidant Concealer - 015 Light | Swatched | $2.50
  • SONIA KASHUK Hidden Agenda Concealer Quad - Medium | $3 (2 avail)
  • TARTE Colored Clay CC Primer - Fair | $15
  • TARTE Hydrocealer - 39H Medium-Tan Honey | Mini | $3
  • THE BALM Time Balm Concealer - Lighter Than Light | Light Use| $3.50
  • THE BALM Time Balm Concealer - After Dark | BN/Sealed | $5
FOUNDATION
  • BAREMINERALS BareSkin Serum Foundation - Bare Beige 08 | Light Use| $4
  • BAREMINERALS Complexion Rescue Tinted Gel Cream - Buttercream | BN | $12
  • BENEFIT Hello Flawless Oxygen Foundation - PETAL | Mini | $6
  • CATRICE HQ Liquid Coverage Foundation - Rose Beige 020 | Swatched | $5
  • CLINIQUE Acne Solutions Liquid Makeup - Fresh Honey 09 | Moderate Use | RV $29.50 | $4
  • CLINIQUE Even Better Makeup - 64 Cream Beige | Mini | $3 (3 avail)
  • COVER FX Custom Cover Drops - P50 (orig formula) | Swatched | RV $38 | $17
  • COVER FX Custom Cover Drops - N30 (orig formula) | Swatched | RV $38 | $17
  • COVER FX Custom Cover Drops - G Light 2 (new formula) | Swatched | RV $29 | $13
  • DIOR Backstage Face & Body Foundation - 4N | Mini | $6
  • LAURA GELLER Cover Lock Cream Foundation - Medium | Mini | $3
  • L'OREAL Lumi Cushion - N1 Soft Ivory | BN | $3
  • MAC Face & Body Foundation - N2 | See Usage; 60% Left | RV$33 | $10
  • MAKEUP FOREVER Ultra HD Invisible Cover - Y335 - Dark Sand | Mini | $3
  • MAKEUP FOREVER Ultra HD Invisible Cover - Y445 - Amber | Mini | $3
  • MALLY BEAUTY Face Defender BB Cream Foundation - Light | Swatched; Box Included | $6
  • MALLY BEAUTY H3 Moisturizing Foundation - Fair | Swatched; Box Included | $6
  • MALLY BEAUTY H3 Moisturizing Foundation - Medium Light | Swatched; Box Included | $6
  • MILANI Conceal + Perfect Foundation+Concealer - Light Natural 00 | $4
  • NATASHA DENONA Face Glow Foundation - 20 | Moderate Use | RV $42 | $14
  • NATASHA DENONA Foundation X+ Full Coverage Fruit Complex - 22R Light/Red Undertone | Used 2x | RV $45 | $19
  • NYX Born to Glow Radiant Foundation in Vanilla 6 & Nude 6.5 | Used 1x | $3 each
  • NYX Born to Glow Radiant Foundation in Nude 6.5 & Soft Beige 7.5 | BN/Sealed | $5 each
  • NOTE COSMETICS Sunglow Foundation - Light 10 | Mini | $3 each (2 avail)
  • PIXI Illuminating Tint + Conceal Duo - Light Glow No.1 | Swatched | RV $24 | $6
  • PURLISSE Perfect Glow BB Cream - Light [EXP 2/21] | Mini | $2.50
  • PUR 4-in-1 Pressed Mineral Makeup - Blush Medium | BN (sealed compact) | RV $29.50 | $17
  • PUR 4-in-1 Pressed Mineral Makeup - Blush Medium | Light Use; Box Incl. | $13
  • TARTE Amazonian Clay Airbrush Foundation - Light-Medium Neutral | Swatched; Box Incl. | RV $36 | $14
  • TARTE Tarteguard Tinted Moisturizer - Medium | $8
  • ULTA Adjustable Coverage WetDry Pressed Powder Foundation - Medium | Swatched | $4
  • ULTA Youthful Glow Foundation - Light to Medium Cool | Swatched; Box Incl. | $6
  • WINKY LUX Diamond Powder Foundation - Medium (L) & Light (R) | RV $22 | $14 each
SETTING/LOOSE POWDERS
  • BAREMINERALS Blemish Rescue Medium Beige 2.5N [SPF EXP:7/20] | Swatched | Mini | $2
  • BAREMINERALS Hydrating Mineral Veil | Swatched | FS | RV $25 | $12
  • BAREMINERALS Original Mineral Veil | Light Use | FS | RV $25 | $7
  • BAREMINERALS Matte Foundation - Golden Fair | Light Use | FS | RV $32 | $6
  • BECCA Hydramist Setting Powder | Mini | $6
  • COVER FX Perfect Setting Powder - Translucent | Mini/0.035oz | $3
  • DERMABLEND Loose Setting Powder - Cool Beige | Used 2x; Box Incl. | FS | $18
  • DERMABLEND Loose Setting Powder | Mini/0.18oz | $5 (2 avail)
  • DERMABLEND Loose Setting Powder | Mini/0.11oz | $3 (2 avail)
  • MAKE UP FOR EVER Ultra HD Microfinish Loose Powder | Mini/1g | $3.50
  • MARC JACOBS Finish Line Coconut Setting Powder - 34 Invisible | Light Use | RV $44 | $15
  • NYX HD Finishing Powder - Translucent & Mint Green | Light Use | $3 each
  • OFRA Oil Control Pressed Powder | Used 1x | RV $23 | $11
  • TOO FACED Dew You Fresh Glow Translucent Setting Powder - Radiant Nude | RV $33 | $15
  • TOO FACED Dew You Fresh Glow Translucent Setting Powder - Radiant Pearl | RV $33 | $15
  • TOO FACED It's Bananas Brightening Setting Powder | RV $30 | $13
  • TOO FACED Primed & Poreless Skin Smoothing Pressed Powder | Very Light Use | RV $34 | $14
MASCARA
  • BAREMINERALS Lash Domination Mascara | Mini | $3
  • BENEFIT They're Real Mascara | Mini | $3
  • BENEFIT They're Real Waterproof Eye Makeup Remover | Mini | $3 (2 avail)
  • CLINIQUE High Impact (01 Black) | Mini | $3 (2 avail)
  • DIOR DiorShow Mascara | Mini | $5
  • HOURGLASS Film Noir Full Spectrum Mascara - Onyx | Mini | $5
  • ILIA Limitless Lash Lengthening Mascara | NWOB (previous seller scribed with G) | FS | RV$28 | $12
  • IT COSMETICS Superhero Mascara | NWOB | FS | $12
  • IT COSMETICS Lash Blow Out | Mini | $4
  • LANCOME Hypnose Drama Volume Mascara | Mini | $4 (2 avail)
  • LAURA MERCIER Caviar Volume Mascara | Mini | $4
  • MALLY Volumizing Mascara | Mini | $2
  • NARS Climax Mascara | Mini | $4
  • PER-FEKT Lash Perfection Gel Mascara - Flash (Black) | Mini | $5
  • PUR Fully Charged | Mini | $3
  • STILA Huge Extreme Lash Mascara | Mini | $4
  • TARTE Lights Camera Lashes | Mini | $4 (2 avail)
  • TARTE Tarteist Lash Paint in Black | Mini | $4 (3 avail)
  • TOO FACED Damn Girl Mascara | Mini | $4
  • TOO FACED Mascara Melt Off Cleansing Oil Mascara Dissolver | Mini | $4
  • ULTA Waterproof Mascara Topcoat | $4
  • URBAN DECAY Troublemaker | Mini | $4
  • URBAN DECAY Perversion | Mini | $4 (2 avail in different packaging, same size)
EYELINER
  • CARGO Swimmables Eye Pencil - 12 Avalon Beach | Mini | $4
  • CATRICE Waterproof Liquid Liner & Original Liquid Liner - Black | $2 each
  • HOLIKA HOLIKA Double Eyelid Liner [EXP 7/21] (can also be used as blonde brow blade/flick) | $4
  • JONTEBLU Felt Tip Liquid Eyeliner Pencil | $4
  • KAT VON D Tattoo Liner - Trooper Black | Mini | $3.50
  • LOTTIE LONDON Stamp Liner (EyelineWing Duo) | Swatched | $4
  • MAC Pro Longwear Fluidline - Deliciously Rich | Light Use w/ Brush; Box Incl. | $5
  • SIGMA Standout Eyes Gel Liner - Unexpected (neutral stony grey) | $5 (1 left)
  • STILA Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Liner - Intense Black | $15
  • STILA Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Liner - Intense Black | Mini | $6
  • STILA Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Liner | NWOB | $5 each (2 avail in each shade)
    • 4 SHADES (top to bottom): Cobalt (blue), Teal, Periwinkle (pale blue) & Emerald (green)
  • TARTE Maneater Liquid Eyeliner | Mini | $5 (1 left)
  • TARTE Sex Kitten Eyeliner | Mini | $5
  • ULTA Gel Eye Liner - Black Out | $3
BROWS
  • ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS Brow Wiz - Taupe | $15
  • ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS Tinted Brow Gel - Blonde | Swatched | $10
  • BENEFIT Brow Contour Pro - 02 Brown Light | Used 2x | RV$34 | $14
  • BENEFIT Gimme Brow - #3 | Mini | $4
  • BENEFIT Gimme Brow+ - #3 | Mini | $4
  • BENEFIT Precisely My Brow Pencil - Shade 2 | Mini | $6
  • BILLION DOLLAR BROWS Brow Powder - Blonde | Swatched; Box Incl. | $4
  • BILLION DOLLAR BROWS Brow Powder - Light Brown | Swatched; Box Incl. | $4
  • BILLION DOLLAR BROWS Hint of Tint - Taupe | Swatched; Box Incl. | $4
  • DIVADERME Brow Extender II - Light Ash Blonde | Swatched | $3
  • ESTEE LAUDER Double Wear Stay-in-Place Brow Lift Duo - Blonde/Brown | Swatched Box Incl. | RV $29 | $8
  • LOTTIE LONDON Microblade Effect Brow Pen - Cool Brown | Used 1x | $5
  • MAYBELLINE Expert Wear Twin Pencils - 107 Blonde | $2
  • MAYBELLINE Brow Drama Sculpting Mascara - Blonde 250 | Swatched | $1
  • MAYBELLINE Brow Precise Highlighter - 310 Medium | Swatched | $1
  • MODELS OWN Brow Tattoo Kit - Blonde 01 | Sealed | $2.50
  • NYX Bare With Me Sativa Seed Oil Brow Setter | $2.50 (1 left)
  • NYX Micro Brow Pencil - Taupe | $6
  • PER-FEKT Brow Perfection Gel - Champagne (light) | $4
  • SIGMA Brow Powder Duo - Light | Swatched 1x | $2
  • SIGMA Double-Sided Pencil - Medium/Dark | Light Use; Box Incl. | $2
  • SMASHBOX Brow Tech Gloss Stick - Blonde | Used 1x; Box Incl. | $4
  • SOAP & GLORY Archery Brow Fiber Gel - Blonde | Swatched | $1.50
  • THE BALM Brow Pow Eyebrow Powder - Blonde | Swatched | RV$15| $4
  • THE BALM Furrowcious Brow Pencil - Blonde | $5
  • URBAN DECAY Brow Blade - Cool Cookie | $16
  • URBAN DECAY Brow Endowed - Brunette Betty | Mini | $2.50
  • URBAN DECAY Brow Endowed - Taupe Trap | Mini | $3
  • URBAN DECAY Brow Tamer Tinted Brow Gel - Taupe | Like New; used 1x | $5
  • WINKY LUX Uni-Brow Universal Brow Pencil | Like New; used 1x | $5
  • WUNDER2 WUNDERBROW Brow Gel - Blonde | Like New; Box Incl. | $8
LIPS
  • ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS Lip Gloss - Weekend Barbie | Light Use | FS | $3.50
  • ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS Lip Gloss - Candy | Light Use | FS | $3.50
  • ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS Lip Gloss - Moon Jelly | Swatched | Mini | $2.50
  • BAREMINERALS Gen Nude Matte Liquid Lipcolor - Everything | Mini | $2
  • BAREMINERALS Gen Nude Matte Liquid Lipcolor - Swag | Mini | $2
  • BEAUTY BY POPSUGAR Be the Boss Lip Gloss - Time After Time | RV $18 | $4
  • BEAUTY BY POPSUGAR Be the Boss Lip Gloss - Time After Time | Mini | $1.50
  • BENEFIT Lollibalm Tinted Lip Balm | BN/Plastic Sealed | $15
  • BENEFIT PosieBalm Tinted Lip Balm | $12
  • BITE BEAUTY Matte Creme Lip Crayon - Glace | Both Swatched | Mini | $2 (2 avail)
  • BLISS Fabulips Sugar Lip Scrub | RV $15 | $5
  • BUTTER LONDON Glazen Lip Glaze - Pixie Dust | $5
  • BUXOM Full On Plumping Lip Gloss - Berry Blast | Moderate Use/Scratched | FS | $2
  • BUXOM Full-On Lip Polish - Celeste | Swatched | Mini | $2
  • BUXOM Lipstick - Mistress | Light Use | Mini | $1
  • CARGO Lipstick - Dubai | FS | $4
  • CARGO Lip Gloss - 3 Shades: Fresno (2 avail), Juneau, Madrid | BN | Mini | $2 (3 avail)
  • CARGO Lip Gloss - Sahara | Swatched | Mini | $2
  • ESTEE LAUDER Pure Color Lip Gloss - 26 Extravagant Pink Shimmer | Light Use | $2.50
  • FLOWER BEAUTY Galaxy Glaze Holographic Lip Gloss - 10 Soleil & 05 Angelic | Swatched | $3 each / 2 for $5
  • GUCCI Rouge à Lèvres Satin Lipstick - 402 Vantine Fuchsia | BNIB but has defect from cap (see pics) | RV$42 | $25
  • GUCCI Rouge à Lèvres Satin Lipstick - 410 No More Orchids | BNIB | RV$42 | $30
  • H20 Lip Gel - Clear as Day | Swatched | $3
  • HOURGLASS Extreme Sheen Lip Gloss - Truth | Moderate Use/Faded Label | $3
  • JULEP It's Whipped Matte Lip Mousse - Bisou | Mini | $2.50
  • KAJA Cushy Vibe Lip Stain - 05 Chiffon [EXP 12/2020] | Light Use | RV $18 | $8
  • KAT VON D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick - (L to R): Echo, Nahz Fur Atoo, Mother, Lovesick | All Swatched | Mini | $3 each
  • LANCOME Gloss in Love Lip Gloss - Lily En Lame 351 | Light Use | $3
  • LAURA GELLER Color Luster Lip Gloss - Diamond Dust | Mini | $3
  • LIP FUSION Micro Collagen Lip Plump - Glow | Light Use | $2.50
  • LORAC Alter Ego Matte Liquid Lipstick - Crush | Light Use | $2.50
  • MAC Lip Glass - A38 Lovechild | Mini | $3
  • MAC Viva Glam Miley Cyrus Lipstick - Amplified | Used 2x | $8
  • MAKE UP FOR EVER Aqua Rouge Waterproof Liquid Lip Color - 9/Clear | Light Use | $3
  • NARS Velvet Lip Glide - Bound | Swatched | Mini | $3
  • NUDESTIX Intense Matte Lip + Cheek Pencil - Kiss | 2.8 g | RV $26 | $8
  • NUDESTIX Intense Matte Lip + Cheek Pencil - Pixi | 2.8 g | RV $26 | $8
  • NUDESTIX Nudies All Over Face Color Matte Cream - Naughty n' Spice | Swatched | Mini | $2
  • NYX Paradise Fluff Lip Oil - Carnival Ride | Swatched | $2
  • NYX Soft Matte Metallic Lip Cream - Paris | Swatched | $2
  • OFRA Flexi Slick Lip Gloss - Urge | RV $19 | $7
  • OFRA Long Lasting Liquid Lipstick - Hollywood & Bel Air | FS | RV $20 | $8 each
  • OFRA Long Lasting Liquid Lipstick - 2x San Paulo & 1x Sedona | Mini | $3 each
  • PER-FEKT Lip Per-fekt Tinted Balm Crayon - 3 Shades: Hint of Tint, Hollywood & Melrose | Swatched; Box Incl. | $8 each
  • PIXI Lip Gloss - Cookie | Used 2x | $2
  • PIXI Tinted Brillance Balm - Lucent Glow 10 | Swatched | $3
  • PHILOSOPHY Sparkling Cranberry Lip Gloss | Swatched | $4
  • TARTE Tarteist Holographic Lip Gloss - Mermaid | BN (box slight damage) | RV $20 | $8
  • TARTE Tarteist Lip Bling Top Coat - Tinsel | RV $20 | $8
  • TARTE Tarteist Quick Dry Matte Lip Paint - Rose | Mini | $3.50 (2 avail)
  • THE BALM Meet Matte Hughes Liquid Lip/Lip Liner Set | $10
  • TOO FACED Lip Injection Glossy | Mini | $4
  • TOO FACED Melted Matte Liquid Lipstick - Sell Out | Mini | $3
  • TOO FACED Natural Nudes Lipstick - Send Nudes | Light Use | $3
  • SIGMA Lip Vex Lip Gloss - 5 SHADES: Vivid, Skinny Dip, Tender, Slip & Chill Out | BN (part of set) $3 each
  • SMASHBOX Lip Enhancing Gloss - Illume | Swatched | Mini | $2.50
  • SOAP & GLORY Spectaculips Matte-allic Metallic Matte Lip Cream - Pink Charming | Swatched | $2.50
  • STILA Beauty Boss Lip Gloss - Synergy | Light Use | $3
  • STILA Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick - Beso & Patina | Mini | $4 each
  • ULTA AVENGERS Matte Liquid Lipstick - Supercharged | $3.50
  • ULTA Watermelon Slushy Scrub | Swatched | $1
  • ULTA Juice Infused Lip Oil - Coconut | Swatched | $1
  • URBAN DECAY Matte Revolution Lipstick - Matte Bad Blood | New, small nick on top | RV$22 | $6
  • URBAN DECAY High-Color Lip Gloss - VICE | Light Use | $2.50
  • URBAN DECAY Revolution Double Shot Lip Gloss Set - Liar & Anarchy | Mini (x2) | $6
  • WANDER BEAUTY Double Date Lip & Cheek - Rendezvous | Swatched | $1
SETS / TOOLS / MISC.
  • IT COSMETICS FOR ULTA Airbrush Complexion Perfection Brush #115 | RV $24 | $10
  • MAKE UP FOR EVER Instant Brush Cleanser | 1.69oz | $6 (PENDING)
  • SMASHBOX Cosmic Celebration Photo Finish Star Power Primer Set | 3x Minis | $13
  • SMASHBOX Holidaze Photo Finish Primer Set | 3x Minis | $13
  • REAL TECHNIQUES Expert Air Cushion Sponge | $3 (2 avail)
FWP - As long as you cover shipping (particularly if over 1lb), please take whatever you want! Just want to see this stuff go to someone who will use it! Don't be shy!
  • 2X Sticker Sheets - Glossier & Laneige
  • AMUSE Color Correcting Face Primer - Neutralizer | Swatched
  • AMUSE Eyeshadow Primer - 2 Shades Available: Clean Slate & Blank Canvas | Swatched
  • AMUSE Liquid Illuminate - 3 Shades Available: Sorbe, Champagne, Gold Lust | Swatched
  • AMUSE Matte Bronzer | Swatched
  • AOA Diamond Lip Gloss - 1103 Pixie | Swatched
  • AOA Diamond Lip Gloss - 1108 Bubble Gum | Swatched
  • AOA Perfect BB Cream - Fair | Swatched
  • AOA Perfect BB Cream - Light | Swatched
  • AOA Perfect Pressed Powder - Beige 154 | Swatched
  • AOA Perfect Pressed Powder - Nude 155 | Swatched
  • AOA Perfect Setting Powder - 4 Shades Available - Brightening, Matte Translucent, Soft Light, Warm | All Lightly Used
  • AOA Skinny Underlash Mascara | Swatched
  • AOA Sugar Lip Scrub - Rose | Swatched
  • AOA Wonder Cover Concealer - Light Yellow | Light Use
  • AOA Wonder Skin Illuminating Primer | Swatched
  • APPEAL Ultra Crème Lipstick - Muse | BN | FS (2 avail)
  • BE A BOMBSHELL COSMETICS Sweet Cheeks Blush | Light Use
  • BH COSMETICS Liquid Lipstick (no shade name) | Swatched | Mini
  • BRONX Colors Men's Eye Bright Concealer - 1 Shade (Light) | Light Use
  • BUTTER LONDON Glazed Eye Gloss - Bronzed | Never used but dried out
  • CANMAKE Eye Nuance 32 | Swatched
  • CLINIQUE Duo - Lash Doubling Mascara + Different Lipstick - 43 Glazed Berry | Light Use
  • CLINIQUE Duo - High Impact Mascara + Long Last Glosswear - 07 Bonfire | Light Use
  • CLINIQUE High Impact Mini Mascara | Used 1x
  • COVER FX Calming Primer | Used 2x | Mini
  • ELF 16Hr Camo Concealer - Medium Sand | Light Use
  • ELF Concealer - Fair | Moderate Use
  • ELF Foundation Palette - FaiLight | BN
  • ELF - Set 2x Mineral Loose Eyeshadows - Celebrity & Elegant | Swatched
  • EYEKO Fat Liquid Eyeliner - Black | Light Use
  • FLESH Fleshpot Eye & Cheek Gloss Sample Card
  • HARD CANDY Baked Eyeshadow Duo - Make Believe 261 (2 avail)
  • HARD CANDY Sheer Envy Eye Brightening Concealer - Radiance | Light Use
  • JORDANA Easy Liner for Lips - Tawny | Light Use
  • JUICY COUTURE Kiss Me Mini Lip Gloss | Swatched
  • LA COLORS Mini Eyeshadow Palette - Joy
  • LANCOME Dèfinicils Mini Mascara | Used 1x
  • LANCOME Hypnose Drama Volume Mini Mascara | Used 1x
  • MAYBELLINE 2x Eyeshadow Singles - Cool Cocoa + Beige (shade unknown) | Swatched
  • MAYBELLINE Dream Lumi Touch Highlighting Concealer - 20 Light | Moderate Use
  • MAYBELLINE Master Prime Hydrating Primer | Mini (3 avail)
  • MILANI Highly Rated Mini Mascara | Used 1x
  • MODELS OWN Now Brow! Eyebrow Gel - Light Brown 141 | Swatched; Box Incl.
  • MODELS OWN Face Base Illuminating Face Primer
  • MUR Fast Base Concealer - C4 | Swatched
  • NYX Lid Lingerie Matte Eye Tint - Power Trip | New/Sealed but settled/see pics
  • NYX Wonder Stick - Universal | NWOB, Smudged tip on light end
  • REVLON Nearly Naked Powder - Medium | Moderate Use
  • RIMMEL LONDON Stay Matte Mousse Foundation - Light Nude 302
  • RIMMEL LONDON Stay Matte Pressed Powder - Sandstorm 04 | Swatched
  • SANTEE Matte Liquid Lipstick x2 (no shade names) | Swatched
  • SEPHORA Cream Lip Stain - 02 | Moderate Use
  • SEPHORA Cream Lip Stain - 67 | Moderate Use
  • SEPHORA Cream Lip Stain - 101 | Moderate Use
  • SEPHORA Lashcraft Mini Mascara | Swatched
  • SONIA KASHUK Perfecting Luminous Foundation - Bamboo 05 | Moderate Use
  • SONIA KASHUK Sweet Nothings Palette | Light Use
  • STARRY Velvet Mousse Eyeshadow Single - Morocco | Swatched
  • ULTA Duo Chrome Illuminator - Prismatic Unicorn | Swatched
  • ULTA Full Coverage Liquid Concealer - Light Warm | Light Use
  • ULTA Mini Palette | Swatched
  • ULTA Hydrating Face Primer | Mini
  • ULTA Liquid Illuminator - Sunray Burst | Mini
  • ULTA Matte Makeup Setting Spray | Mini (2 avail)
  • VICTORIA'S SECRET Beauty Rush Lip Gloss - Taffy Go Lucky | Light Use
  • VICTORIA'S SECRET Beauty Rush Lip Gloss - Cherry Bomb | Light Use
  • VICTORIA'S SECRET Glossy Tint Lip Sheer - Boudoir Pink | Light Use
  • VICTORIA'S SECRET Beauty Rush Dazzleshine Lip Gloss - | Light Use
  • W3LL PEOPLE Bio Correct Concealer Sampler Box (4 samples)
  • WET N WILD Eyeshadow Single - Creme Brulee (2 avail)
  • WET N WILD Shadow Single - Cheeky
Feel free to mix-and-match items from my SKINCARE SALE ♡ Thank you for reading this far! :)
submitted by jillloyo to makeupexchange [link] [comments]


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2020.10.30 01:52 Lifeindite Sex first time camera hidden

Hello my friends at DecidingToBeBetter. After a decade of coaching, self-development, introspection and sleepless nights I have decided its time to share many things that I have learned. This will be the first post of many. I truly hope you gain some useful insight from this.
Lets talk about something that is near and dear to many of us reading this. Have you ever found a creative business idea crossing your mind while taking a morning shower? Have you been stuck in traffic, listening to the radio and a spark of creativity suddenly reignited passion in you towards an old hobby of yours? Or maybe you were talking with a friend and their technical prowess inspired you to try and learn a new skill?
It’s a feeling that many of us experience on a regular basis. It is funny to consider, however, that for the majority of us, all of these ideas and aspirations will go unfulfilled. So why is that? Why is it that we can dream big, come up with wildly creative ideas, plan things out in our heads indefinitely but yet we still cannot put our nose to the grindstone and work at them? I believe that for the majority of us the answer lies in our inability to be able to answer three simple questions regarding our actions, the ‘Why’, ‘What’ and ‘How’.
While on the surface those three words don’t seem like they can make much of a difference, I can promise you that they can, and absolutely will. At the core of asking those questions lies something that many people lack, and that is self-awareness. Now, I do not mean that you are not conscious of your being, or that you are not in control of your life decisions. No, what I mean by this is that you are not self aware of your inner value structure. The point of asking these three questions in the context I am about to present to you will allow you to re-examine that structure, and hopefully help you understand why it is that you aren’t achieving the things you plan out in your mind.
First, lets start with the ‘Why’. This is the most important question to ask yourself. However, the key to this question is not asking yourself this once or twice. You need to keep hammering away at this point until you get to the root of why it is that you want something.
Lets consider an example:

One day after talking to one of your good friends about his photography career you decide that you too want to take up photography. So you start researching cameras, equipment, and other relevant things. After a significant time investment you decide to go out and buy a shiny DSLR, an expensive set of accessories and other things all the YouTube guides have been telling you to buy. You get all the equipment delivered and you are excited to open everything, set up the camera and tinker with everything. Then once everything is unpacked and the novelty of ‘shiny-thing-syndrome’ has worn off, you put the camera away and tell yourself that tomorrow after work you will go outside and try and take some photos. But tomorrow turns into next weekend, and then the weekend after that. After all, your friend had his birthday party that one night and you simply didn’t have free time. You also weren’t able to go on your day off because your mother needed you to stop by her house to help her move something, which inevitably turned into you helping her fix the garage door, she always has a way to bribe you with cookies to help her around the house. Anyway, you see where I’m going with this. Eventually this one day turns into a month. And then into two. And you haven’t even picked up your camera to take a single photo.
So why is it that we suck at achieving the goals that we so passionately set out for ourselves?
In our example, why is it that you wanted to take up photography? You aren’t really a tech savvy person. You may also not even enjoy the outdoors that much particularly. Your answer may be something along the lines of ‘It looked like fun’ or ‘I enjoy the creative aspect of photography’. You could even go as far as telling yourself that ‘I’ve always wanted to try photography’ or that ‘You need something that will get your outdoors more often’. This is a good start, but is still wildly distant from the true value structure most people need to learn to examine.
All of the above reasons are okay; however, they simply list our surface level motivations for doing something. I will ask you another question. Do you understand where the motivation for the desire to achieve something comes from? Okay, now we are making a little bit of headway. I will ask another one. Is this goal motivated by your own desires or are you pursing that goal because of someone or something else? Now we are a little bit closer. That ‘someone’ or ‘something else’ is the key here.
What if we were to go deeper and answer our question? Lets start at the surface and follow the rabbit hole. Say I was to ask you ‘Why did you decide to take up photography?’ Your answer may be one of the ones I listed prior or quite possibly something even more specific. Now lets consider the generic ‘It looks like fun’ comment. Why did it look like fun to you? This will make you pause a little, and you could answer something along the lines of ‘It gets you outside into nature’ or ‘It forces you to go on small adventures to capture photos’. Okay, well lets say that as in the example I roughly sketched out, you are a person who is fairly neutral on going outdoors and having crazy adventures. Now I ask you, ‘Why do you consider going out into nature to take photos fun?’. Now here is where you might actually pause to think. People typically only think 1, maximum 2 layers deep before they decide to set a goal. In our case, we can go 3 to 4 layers deep here. Your answer, if you do come up with one, may be more complex and look something along the lines of ‘Photographing nature is unpredictable and presents many exciting opportunities to express your creativity or to share moments that you cannot get elsewhere’.
That is already a drastic improvement in terms of expressing your motivation to do something. However, what if I told you that the key lies in asking that ‘Why’ question again? Surely there cant be more to it than that. Well, say I was to ask you why it is that you enjoy the unpredictable nature of photography and sharing those moments with others. This is where most people will get confused. How can there be more to it than that? This is where, I would like to ague, many people hit a stumbling block because they do not know how to peek behind the curtain at what truly drives our motivations. Behind that curtain sits our value structure, and the answer to our fourth ‘why’ question can be answered precisely with awareness of that structure in mind. There could be a wide range of answers to that question. An answer could look something like this.
I find it enjoyable to share the unpredictable nature of photography with others because I am a person who enjoys sharing my creative works with others and I get fulfillment from other people giving me praise for my accomplishments in that area”.
So with that, we arrive to how your mind really works. We have uncovered your underlying value structure as to why you THINK that you would find photography ‘fun’. I want to emphasize a key word in that sentence, and that is the word THINK. Our mind is extremely powerful in its ability to create narratives and convince ourselves of them as if they were a plausible potential expression of future reality. In other words, our mind can easily convince us of a certain future where we do something by making us visualize scenarios of us carrying that activity out. However, visualizations are just that, they are construction of your mind in that given moment. In this case your mind created an image of yourself in your mind going on cool adventures, taking pictures that will make your friends and family impressed, experiencing cool situations that you will be able to tell others about in the future. However, at the end of the day, it wasn’t about photography.
Instead, you may have the internal desire to be admired by other people and recognized by them for your creative work. It is actually about receiving validation from others for taking part in that activity. The picture your mind painted for you is one of you being that adventurous photographer who comes back with cool stories and pictures of wild animals from your hikes. At the end of the day what you really crave is recognition from others for your creative efforts.
Would you like me to share another piece of the puzzle with you? What I left out is precisely why you thought taking up photography was a good idea in the first place. You didn’t simply just get up one day, and with no prior inspiration think to yourself that being a photographer was a good idea. No. Remember talking to your photographer friend? As you recall your desire to take photos only manifested itself after your conversation with your photographer friend. So, what was it about that conversation that roused that desire in you? Well, I would argue it is that your friend roused feelings of admiration, awe, and maybe even excited curiosity in you when they were telling you about their own adventures, or showing you their cool photos. After your conversation you reflected on your feelings and decided that you too want to be that kind of person, one that rouses similar feelings in others. You were so impressed with how your friend made you feel, so impressed by their stories, that you decided you wanted to be able to garner admiration from others like that too. And how were you going to achieve that? Well you were going to gain their admiration, their praise via your creative efforts by taking awesome photos. It is as simple as that, and it all comes around full circle.
With that said, you may be asking “Okay, but how does this relate to us failing to achieve our goals?”. The answer to this question is simple: not understanding your true why will inevitably make you unable to answer the other two questions, what and how. Both of those questions are fundamentally important because they define your success and failure criteria. If you cannot answer both of those questions you will completely lack structure in how you approach your goal, how you decide to accomplish it, and what you do with it going forward.
As you may have seen, asking ‘Why’ enough times inevitably leads us to our ‘What’. What is it that you are trying to achieve? In our case we have figured out what it is. We want to gain the praise and admiration of other people for our creative efforts because we want to be the sort of person who rouses feelings of awe, curiosity in others and captivates them with their stories. That is fundamentally different from our initial answer of ‘It looks like fun’. Would you like to know another secret why many people have internal resistance in going this deep with their intentions?
It primarily stems from two things. First, many people are afraid to be brutally honest with themselves. Many of us have had rough upbringings, we were bullied in school, or our partner may be acting emotionally distant. We may have been feeling down lately, or maybe we are simply unhappy with our life due to past mistakes. Whatever it may be, admitting all those things to ourselves hurts. There is no other way around it, examining our true values is painful because it reminds you that you yourself is a by-product of your decisions and environment. Many of us don’t like either of those things, so like in the example listed above we may be embarrassed or ashamed to admit to ourselves that maybe what we really, truly crave is some validation from other people. Maybe we simply crave recognition that we never got as kids from our parents, or maybe we want to become someone that others admire simply because in our current state we do not admire ourselves. Its hard to say whatever it may be, as it can drastically differ from person to person.
The second thing that internal resistance stems from for most people is the clarity that is associated with examining their intentions for doing something. The clarity is intricately linked with defining our success and failure criteria. Many of will not explicitly outline exactly what it is what that we truly desire to accomplish because at the same time doing so also sets out criteria for failure. We purposely keep things vague for ourselves because that makes it almost impossible for us to fail at something. This way we can easily rationalize something away as not being our fault, or not personality identify with any negative consequences. The downside of keepings things vague is that we never really get clear on what it is that we want to accomplish, and as a result we never do.
This finally ties in with our ‘How’. I will ask you a simple question, is there any possible way for you to plan out how you are going to achieve something when you are not entirely clear what you want to do and why you want to do it? If you were to tell me that you want to travel more, without explicitly setting out countries where you want to go and why you want to go there, would there be any way for you to tell me exactly how you would go on to accomplish that goal? Of course not, because in that case you are simply associating with the feeling of wanting to travel, not the logical, drawn out process of doing so. And you wont ever accomplish the goal of traveling more if you don’t decide where you want to go, why you want to go there, what you plan to do there or how you are going to get there.
So in this way when we set out goals in our lives without clearly defining why we want to do it, what exactly we are trying to achieve and how we are going to achieve it, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Without a plan many of us simply daydream and bask in the emotional state of accomplishment. We daydream that one day we will be that person who runs a marathon, or someone who gets their photo posted in an art gallery for everyone to admire.
By not being honest with ourselves about our value structure we do ourselves a disservice. Furthermore, we put ourselves into danger by allowing other people to easily influence us.
In our modern day of social media it is particularly easy to fall prey to someone selling you a ‘feeling’ of something. Marketers do it all the time by associating feelings of admiration, excitement, sex, or recognition with luxury vehicles. That sort of tactic prays on your inner insecurities and hidden motivational states. Without diving deep and examining your internal value structure it is quite easy to rationalize buying a new, expensive luxury vehicle under the guise of it being ‘cheaper on maintenance because of warranty’ and ‘better on gas because of a good engine’. Or, like in our example earlier, it could make it very easy for you to justify spending thousands of dollars on expensive camera equipment you will never use simply because of a desire to maybe one day be like your charismatic photographer friend.
By knowing how to examine your inner value structure you make it possible to shortcut the entire process and address the root causes of your goal setting. Once you start setting your goals with consideration of your core values in mind, you are dramatically more likely to achieve them, because you will be speaking directly to internal motivational states that spur you to action, motivate you and attribute context and meaning to activities. Once you mentally associate meaning with an activity, you are directly solving a problem rather than simply satisfying a masked emotional need. By considering meaning behind your goal setting, such as working on fixing your insecurities, you learn how to follow through with your goals. You begin to see how doing something will immediately and clearly result in a tangible, meaningful result. Finally, by doing this you simply waste less time taking part in activities that you never wanted to do to begin with. Your time is the most precious resource on the planet, and it cannot be recovered. Use it wisely.
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