Naked house cam

2014.04.07 00:23 Naked house cam

A place for news and discussion about politics, government, and public policy in the Sunshine State, with more politics than /Florida and more Florida than /politics.
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2014.05.14 08:53 picsonlybot Naked house cam

A subreddit for pictures, where post titles are not allowed to influence users to vote. Hopefully this will lead to interesting pictures being upvoted, and uninteresting pictures with interesting titles not being upvoted (because they're removed).
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2020.11.27 16:59 KenCJr Naked house cam

September Freshman Year
C.L.A.M. Dormitory
Michael sat crisscross-applesauce in his bed/fort with his forehead against the window watching rain drops fall underneath 18th century streetlamps. When he first moved into this dorm room, Michael quickly discovered that to mitigate the consequences of being walked-in-on while love-making, or more commonly, while jerking-off, he needed to hang bedsheets from the ceiling over his bed. Though he sleeps on an unzipped sleeping bag now, the move gave Michael decent privacy in the 10x14sqft room that he and Brandon share. It also gave Michael full control of the room’s only window—a common point of contention.
“You in there?” A familiar voice called from outside Michael’s fortress. He never heard the door open, which, if it was closed it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. It’s part of freshman dormitory culture at C.L.A.M. to leave doors unlocked when in the room; a social maneuver intended to promote friendship in a setting where just about everyone is away from home for the first time and overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness. It’s an honor for freshmen: having people willingly congregating in your room. And, it’s generally the first chance these kids have at hosting an occasion, and while the occasion is usually only a movie night or secret drinking session, (often the way you know someone’s drinking is when their door is actually locked, for fear of unexpected RA intrusion) intrusiveness is welcome. Michael didn’t answer the familiar voice.
“God, you’re weird, Mike.” It was Lily. Michael thinks Lily is the prettiest and generally most-fun to be around of all first-floor Staltz Hall dormitory counterparts. She and Michael created the Staltz hall bowling league second week of classes. Frowned on by many of the residents, the game involves setting up a stolen street cone at either end of their one-hundred-foot hallway and rolling a basketball down from one side to the other, trying to knock down the opponent’s cone. Frank, Staltz’s 1st floor RA shut down the weekday league after a few of the non-participating residents complained (the league is still open on weekends every time Frank leaves for Baltimore). Lily pulled back the fortress curtain and plopped down rather eloquently on Michael’s sleeping bag, shutting the curtain behind her.
“Welcome to the Dojo.” He said to Lily.
“Whattcha up to?”
“Chillin. Quite literally, really. My forehead is pretty cold on this here window. The rain looks nice, though, so it’s okay.”
“Well move your head, silly.”
“Blaaarrgh.”
“Ok, then. Stay there and freeze. Weirdo.”
“…”
“A few of us ladies are going out to baseball house tonight. Word is is that there’s two kegs and no door fee. One of the guy’s birthday’s or something.”
“Schmitty. Guys on the team told me his dad bought kegs for his twenty-first.”
“You’re going, right? Come with us. Come, come, come, come! We’re leaving in like an hour.”
“Blarrghhh….”
“What’s wrong?” She asked, putting a hand to Michael’s shoulder. Michael still hadn’t moved his head from the window pane. The problem with these windows is that the college was built in the late 1800’s something. This particular dormitory in 1943, which since has gone generally unmaintained. The windows are all single-pane and superbly inefficient.
“Dumb girlfriend stuff.” Michael said “Laura was supposed to come down this weekend but she’s apparently too busy up in Lancaster doing the college partying at her own college to make it down.”
“Ahh. Well, you have about twelve ladies who would all be very happy to have you accompany them to a party, here. A party at this college.”
“Ehh, you’re all ugly.”
“HA, fucker!” Lily pushed Michael and the skin of his forehead, which by now was mostly frozen to the window, came off the glass with an unfortunate sort of suction-cupping sound.
Michael rubbed at the red mark over his eyebrows.
“You deserved it, asshole.” Lily told him.
“Okay. You’re right. You’re only sorta ugly. Maybe I’ll go. Let me know when you’re ready.”
“Good. I’ll see you in an hour. Also, put some pants on.”
“…”
As is habit for counterparts, the group of females needed an additional hour-and-a-half longer than Lily’s original ETD to try on dresses, take those ones off, try on different dresses, take those off, re-apply the first dress, put on makeup, do and redo hair, etc. Michael put on pants and played Super Smash Bros on the GameCube until they were ready to leave. Uncertain about gift-giving customs at college birthday parties, Michael purchased two packets of peanut M&Ms from the dorm’s vending machine and put them in a plastic grocery bag with an unopened tin a Copenhagen Mint for Schmitty.
“Be honest with me, Michael,” said Lily as they led the group along Bradford street over to the baseball house, “you think you and Laura are going to last?”
“I don’t know…She’s opened my horizons, that girl. I wouldn’t be here without her. I feel like I owe a lot to her, but also, I feel like she doesn’t appreciate me. Not enough concerted effort on her part, maybe. But I don’t know though, maybe I’m just being needy.”
“We all need what we need, I think. And Mike, I appreciate you.”
“Ha. Thank’s Lil’. ‘preciate you, too. I’m not sure about this whole party thing, though. I really don’t like them. I can be social and whatever but it’s like you come to these things are you’re expected to act all ridiculous. Like if you don’t pound 20 beers and go home fucking someone then its sorta like why are you even there. You just end up standing among a buncha drunk folks without having any real sense of place in any of it, I feel like.”
“Twenty beers? Ha, that’s a bit much, Mike.”
“Yeah, I’ve been at it a while, Lil. My friends back home like to drink.”
“Well stop thinking so much. Just have fun.”
Down Bradford, the group walked under a weeping willow that Michael had walked under a couple of times before. He looked up into the branches hanging down over his head. The girls behind Michael and Lily were yelling at each other about how good they looked, and were also complaining about how cold and wet it was outside. A few other groups of people were heading in the same direction. It was 11P.M. A girl in their group, named Jeanie, did a cartwheel and landed head first into a tree.
The door of the house was open and Michael walked inside followed by the group of ladies.
“MIKEY, YOU DOG, YOU!” It was Stuart Dots, senior starting pitcher. “I don’t believe what my unholy eyes are seeing!” The party was just starting to fill in. There were a lot of people Michael had never seen before. Lily disappeared off into the crowd. Ed ‘Willy’ Williams gave Michael a beer and offered him a swig of Codeine. Michael declined. Freshman Sarah Pultz came over and give Michael a hug and ran back off into the crowd. Michael left out the back door to see if he could find anyone smoking weed. Ron Stevenson and a few of the guys were pulling from a grav-bong. Kelly Fitzgerald was throwing up over a railing into the backyard grass. A guy named Herman gave Michael a beer to shotgun with him. E. Willy came out to smoke and repacked the bowl with something that smelled like Hubba Bubba. Lily came outside with Jessica to say ‘hi’ to Michael but didn’t smoke. Michael went back inside; the house was shoulder to shoulder. Albright was standing on the couch without a shirt DJ’ing from a Mac Book. Michael found a rack of Keystones in the fridge and took two. Henry and Conner ran the pong table five games in a row until (after a three-doink-rim-clip-dribble-off-the-back-end solidified their triple-O.T.-victory) Jeff C. took out his dick, plopped it on the table, and said “fight me.” Henry obliged. Albright and Ron helped move Jeff outside and laid him down in the front yard to sleep it off. Most in the party didn’t notice that anything even happened. Casey pulled Michael upstairs, kissed him on the cheek, and waved a bag of C17H21NO4 in his face. Stu smacked Michael on the ass as Michael walked out of the bathroom rubbing his nose. Henry ran around trying to convince someone, anyone, to hop back on the table with him and Conner. Conner found Michael at a time in Michael’s life when Michael was readier than ever to do absolutely anything which might be requested of him. Michael looked over into the kitchen and saw Stan’s arm around Lily and that pissed Michael off to no fucking end for some reason. Olivia took Michael’s place at the table when Michael up and walked outside without a word. Ron and Willy were still outside, stuck to lawn chairs. Kelly was sitting upright against the shed vomiting onto her lap. Michael walked over to her and tapped her on the head and asked if she was okay. Kelly gave a thumbs up. Oscar took a beer and cracked it over Michael’s open mouth. Albright threw an arm around Michael and kept shouting “THIS FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT HERE!” Michael went inside to try and find Casey but couldn’t. Stu was holding Henry by the legs for a keg stand. Oscar challenged Michael to a rap battle but just kept saying “AR” and the “N-word” over and over and over. Michael walked away. Someone threw a gallon of milk and broke the TV. Michael somehow forgotten he’d been holding onto this plastic bag full of dip and M&Ms for the last two hours and ran around asking everyone if they knew where Schmitty was. Susan pointed upstairs. Michael walked into Schmitty’s room and found him underneath a woman he’d never seen before. Michael introduced himself to the young lady who was not at all shy about having just been walked in-on and handed Schmitty the bag and said “Happy birthday, buddy. Want me to lock up on the way out?” Schmitty said something along the lines of “hmmmmaaaaahahhhah” which Michael understood as “nawh, its cool.” At the bottom of the stairs Lily and Jessica were saying something about a dead girl in the back yard and how someone called for an ambulance. Michael ran outside to check out the scene and discovered a large crowd surrounding Kelly and the shed where Kelly was. A girl in the crowd screamed “I’M A FUCKING NURSING STUDENT AND THIS GIRL IS FUCKING DYING! CALL FUCKING THE POLICE, SHE IS DYING!” another voice screamed “SHE IS BREATHING. DAMMIT. JUST FUCKING RELAX!” a third person was yelling for someone to get Kelly water. Michael went inside and got a bottle from the fridge and two more Keystones for himself. Back outside, Michael pushed through the crowd and got to Kelly who’d taken her vomit covered pants off but was somehow still wearing shoes. “Hiya, bud, feeling ok?” “ERrmmmmmmaaaaaaa” “Is that a no, bud?” “ERRmmmmmmmmmm” “Want some water?” “mmmmmmMmmhmhnm” “Okay, here ya go, hold your head up” “*glukglukgluk*” “Ok, do you want to go to the hospital?” “ERRRRmmm” “You want to go to the hospital?” “ERrrrr NO! ermmmm mmm” “You want to go to bed?” “ye.” “ye?” “ye. um-huh”. “Ok, buddy, let’s get you to bed.” Michael looked over to Kelly’s roommate who was crying on the porch and talking to no one in particular about how she should’ve done a better job of being Kelly’s roommate. “Let’s just get her back to the dorm, okay, Rebecca? She’s gonna be fine.” “You sure?” “I’m sure. Now let’s go.”
Rebecca grabbed Kelly’s pants and Michael wrapped the crusty beach towel he found next to the shed around Kelly’s waist before he picked her up and carried her over to Rebecca’s car. Lily and Jessica followed behind the car and met them in the parking lot on campus in front of Victor Hall. Rebecca swiped everyone into the dorm and Lily and Jessica walked Kelly up to her room. Michael followed.
“So now what?” Lily asked, turning to Michael after she finished tucking Kelly into bed.
“Idunno—don’t think I can sleep yet.”
The three walked down the hall a few steps and could hear music coming from behind one of the doors. Room 314. Michael knocked. The noise stopped. Josh cautiously opened the door.
“MIKE! LILY! JESSICA! Come in! Come in! We were JUST starting a game King’s Cup! Come in! Take a seat, take a seat. Here’s some PBR; we do things classy here.”
Jared, Brandon, Tony, Chris, and a few other people that Michael had never met before were sitting around the kitchen table of this upperclassmen dorm room. A Natty Daddy was set in the middle of the table with a few cards tucked under the can’s tab. “Alright Michael, go on, get in there and pull a card.” Josh told him. Michael took a seat and pulled one of the cards surrounding the Natty Daddy “Five’s Guys” he said. All the men at the table took a drink from their red solo cup. Lily asked about the pizza box on the stove and Jared handed the whole thing over to her. Michael grabbed himself a slice and tucked the five-card underneath the tab. It was Jessica’s turn to pull a card now. She did.
“Okay…Ten of Clubs, okay…never have I ever…Umm…Never have I ever slept with a girl before.”
Everyone but Lily and Chris put a finger down.
“Never have I ever done anal.”
Only some people put down a finger.
“Never have I ever had a threesome.”
One guy, a friend of Jared’s, put his last finger down. Everyone stared at the guy as if he was suggesting he had done something unimaginable.
“Wait! Just wait a fuckin second now! You’re lying! Was it with two girls? A guy and a girl? What happened here?” Jared asked.
“Ha! I don’t really talk about it. It was nothing, really.” Said the guy.
“Come on, pussy, tell us.” Tony said to him.
“Okay, well I had a threesome, but it wasn’t like with people.”
“Yo! You fucked your cats you fucking freak!” Josh screamed out. Everyone around the table laughed.
“HA! No, it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t like that. I had a threesome with God and the Devil.”
“Oh, you’re a religo-nut. Your talking in bible-thump metaphor, I get it—put your finger back up, pussy.”
“Haha—no, no, it’s true. It really happened; I’ll tell the story if you want.”
“Okay then, let’s hear it. Weirdo.”
“So yeah…it really happened. It was weird. I’ve never felt like I amounted to so little as I did in that moment—but, at the same time, somehow, I understood how immensely valuable I was, you know? My role wasn’t large, but somehow, I was the keystone of that interaction.
It wasn’t like I was expecting it or anything, I’ll be honest. Maybe I’m asexual—I don’t care much for intercourse aside from trying to understand it, really. I know that sounds pompous but I think it’s true, I mean I like it and all, don’t get me wrong, I have urges and what not, but it’s like, I like it for different reasons, too. More so, probably. So, there was God, right? She—”
“Whattin the fuck crazy shit are you talking about, dude?”
“No, just listen, listen, I’m telling you, it was wild. God, she was sensitive—not like that, I mean—she was in-tune. She was utterly comforting. Flesh and everything. She was beautiful, maybe 5’6”, Slim but not too slim, you know? She wore blonde hair and glasses with thin frames. Curved, but I could almost wrap my hands around her waist. She had scars, though. And when I say scars, I mean I’m surprised she was there, you know? But I’m telling you, I was in the presence of Jesus reborn—back from the dead. The father, son, holy spirit—all right in front of me as a human female. Shadows cast down from the scar tissue raised above her forearms. I could see it. I could see the pain she’s absorbed, you know? But I knew it wasn’t her pain—it wasn’t. The pain belonged to everyone else. I could see it on her skin, that pain she’d taken from others. But it didn’t affect her. She smiled so intensely. She was so cheerful. So accepting and loving. There wasn’t passion in her act, her passion was for involvement. In sharing love…She kissed me, but I wouldn’t let her touch me. I couldn’t. I wasn’t worthy of her. I was scared, honestly.”
“Sounds like you’re full of shit.”
By now everyone in the room was just staring at this guy, confused, and listening to him drunkenly tell this story.
“Seriously, her name was even Emmanuelle, it was insane.”
“So, what you’re saying is you were in a threesome with two ladies and didn’t even fuck? Just sounds like you’re gay to me.”
“No, no, no—that’s not how it went at all. I’ll keep explaining if you want.”
Someone standing behind the table told everyone in the room to shut up and asked this kid to keep telling his story.
“Okay…so, the Devil…okay, her hair was brown, and it was long—really long. She had these large brown eyes, and claws, really, I mean it, she had claws. My back was all marked up the next day. And she was cunning, too. Real cunning. But okay, let me start from the beginning. We’d been hanging out all that day. Actually, I met God first, earlier in the day, around noon. I was sitting cliffside down at the bay, by Morris Point, just thinking about shit, you know? It wasn’t particularly dramatic or anything—just sitting there thinking. All of a sudden Emma comes up in a white summer dress, no one else around. I didn’t see a car or hear anything. I asked her how she got there and she told me she walked. If any of you guys have been to Morris, you’d know it’s like seven miles away from anything, right? There’s nothing there. But there was this woman, untouched by sweat or dirt or anything in this beautiful white dress. We sat there talking a few hours. You know something, though. I have to be honest with you guys, something tells me I should be honest…maybe it was a actually little dramatic, you know? I feel like I can share this with you because I’ll probably never see any of you again. I’d actually gone there to kill myself. I know I sound silly, but it’s true. Things weren’t really going so well at that point, you know? Break ups, family stuff, whatever. Anyway, I’d been sitting there with my legs danglingly over the edge of that cliff for twenty minutes, just going back over memories best I could, trying to find a reason, you know? I don’t know if any of you’ve ever been there, but all I kept thinking the whole time is ‘what’s the reason?,’ you know? Like really, that’s what I’m thinking in that moment, I’m thinking ‘why shouldn’t I just put an end to it,’ you know? ‘Why shouldn’t I just escape it?’ And really, to be honest I was drawing a blank on the whole finding answers thing, just about ready to stop my search when all of a sudden I hear ‘Hey!’ Scared the shit outta me, too—I almost fell just on accounta of her startling me. Ha! I look back on it now, you know, I don’t think she would’ve let me fall. I really think she was in control, somehow. Anyway, we get to talking and all and she pulls out a bowl and fills it and offers me a hit and I’m thinking ‘hmm, I don’t really want to go out of this thing stoned, you know? I wanna be there for my last moment. I wanna be all the way there.’ So I tell her ‘I’m okay’ and she says ‘okay’ and proceeds to hit the thing and we just sit there, silent for a while. Eventually, though, I’m wondering about when in the hell this woman is going to get up and leave so I can just do this thing without scarring her, you know? Then she makes this comment about how she’s not all that religious but that when she sees the sun sparkling over water like it was in that very moment right there at the cliffside, that that sort of beauty makes her wonder a little harder about life’s purpose and all that. They call it ‘sun glitter’, I looked it up. But anyway, I don’t say anything, just sit there when all of a sudden I just say it to her, I say, ‘I came here to kill myself today. Beautiful day for it, ya think?’ And you know what she does? She laughs! Ha! I couldn’t believe it. What a punch! Right in the gut! So, she puts a hand to my shoulder and says ‘look at this’, and she shows me a bunch of scars that run along her forearm and I’m thinking like, ‘damn’, you know? Wrists to elbows. Vertical, horizontal, all that. They weren’t fresh, either, these we pretty old scars, but you could tell they were bad. Real thick. ‘We’re hanging out today’, she tells me ‘Do whatever you want tomorrow, but today, let’s just hang out.’ So I think about it a second and I say ‘okay’ and we just sit there, talking about just about everything and I smoke from the bowl a bit and she tells me she wants to go grab a cup of coffee, and since she didn’t have a car I drive us. You know, I just thought about it now, but when we got up from sitting on that rocky cliffside there was not even a spec of dirt on the butt of that woman’s dress. Not a spec, it’s unbelievable. So anyway, that’s where we met Eve. At the coffee shop. Now that I think of it, it was pretty ironic. Must’ve been 4P.M. or something like that. Emma and I are sitting down for coffee and Eve comes up to us looking like she’d just finished a work shift and just hands us both a couple of muffins and sits down and says ‘I just got these day-olds from work so they wouldn’t go to waste getting thrown out, but I don’t know that I want all this food for myself. Please, have some muffins. Can I sit with you guys?’ She asks us. So now I’m thinking about what sort of turn around this is, you know? First, I’m planning to end my life and now I’m sitting with these two drop-dead gorgeous women eating muffins. Ha! Fascinating…” The guy stops and takes a sip from the red solo cup in his hand.
“So…like…what happened next? You never said why the devil was so cunning?”
“Oh, haha…yeah, sorry. Just thinking…”
“Well…?’
“Well, I mean we were all just hanging out and it was nice. Eve wanted to drive and I was reluctant being that at the time I was more or less living from my car. It was my life line, you know? But Eve was persistent so I left my car at the coffee shop because I couldn’t say no but I was nervous on account of having just met these ladies. Really, I guess this part doesn’t matter. We smoked a bunch. We got pizza with olives. We drove around town and then Eve, she was being incredibly touchy Eve was, on both of us. Really had me feeling kind of nervous—intimidated, really. And by now it’s getting late and Eve asks us if we drink and I say I haven’t been wanting to drink lately but Emma says she’s all for it and I don’t want to seem like the wimp so I say ‘okay’ and we get these bottles of wine and drive around to all the different views around town and then Eve says she’s got this park she knows about that no one ever goes to and really before anyone says anything we’re heading that way. Mind you, it’s mid-July but this is an exceptionally cold night for July and Eve is blasting down these back roads blaring electronic dance music, with the widows down and Emma is just laughing away in the front seat and she yells for everyone to take their shirt off and they both take their shirts off and I’m just thinking ‘what the hell is up with these girls’ and I’m feeling really self-conscious but Emma tells me to cut the shit and just about rips the shirt from my back. But so then, we come to this small parking lot on the side of the road, we get out the car and walk down a short trail up to this lake and we’re just dancing shirtless in the sand underneath stars, passing these bottles of wine between us. Felt like I was in a different world, you know? Nothing mattered. I mean for me it did a little, I was playing along with it all and all but I couldn’t get outta my own mind—couldn’t relax. But Emma kept coming up to me, you know, kissing my shoulder and smiling wider than I might’ve seen anyone smile ever and one of the times she looks me square in the face, her smile stretched ear-to-ear, and she says ‘I’m glad you’re still here.’ And…shit…ha…” He takes another sip.
“So…? So then what happend…?
“Ha! We’ll this is the weirdest part, I’d say. So Eve, she starts running back to the car and Emma and I follow. Eve, man. Okay, Eve is thin. Real thin. Fit. You can see her abs, she’s got strong arms, but she’s real slender. Maybe 5’8 or something, just a little taller than Emmanuelle was. Eve’s got small breasts, tight under the skin, you could see all the stress she carried, you know?. You could see it everywhere on her…her butt, I know I’m being maybe too descriptive here, it was taunt, you know, it was there for sure, but really firm. Her skin was like a cage she didn’t quite fit in. Nothing like Emma. Anyway, we get in the car and Eve is driving us somewhere and I really didn’t have my head on the time but finally, for once in a very long time I was just in the moment, you know? I was living. So, anyway we get to Eve’s place which I shit-you-not was the DMV. She was living in an apartment underneath the DMV. So we get there—"
“Wait, what’s an apartment at the DMV even look like?”
“Normal, I guess, except she didn’t have any furniture. None. And the walls were completely white, only things in there was an electric piano and a queen-sized mattress on the floor with a couple of blankets. Oh, and one of those Tempur-Pedic pillows; the devil likes her beauty sleep. And the place was seriously clean. Spotless this place was. So everyone’s got their shirt back on now and we’re just standing twenty feet outside the door of this place and Emma stops us on our way in and tells us to take notice of the way the moonlight is touching the windows and the shutters—tells us these are things we need to appreciate. It was weird. The whole thing was weird to me at the time, but I don’t know. I think I really get it now. Anyway, we head inside and Eve, like I said, I think she had this in her mind from the moment we first met her in the coffee shop; the muffins, getting us drunk and what not, and then we get in the apartment and Eve gets us to keep drinking and this is when it gets kinda weird. Ev—”
“This has been weird, man.” Said someone standing a few feet in the distance.
“Ha, yeah. So Eve, she pulls out her phone and starts showing us all these nude photos of herself—not just mirror shots, though, you know? Like these were professional…boudoir, maybe, I think is what she called them? I can’t remember, really. But now she’s running her fingers all along Emma’s arm and is really starting to be sorta rude to me. I don’t really know how to explain it. But it was weird, you know, all of a sudden Eve’s attention is solely on Emma and it’s like she’s trying to push me outta the whole scenario somehow to which I’m thinking ‘I would gladly leave if I knew where in the fuck I was.’ But then, for every affectionate stroke Eve lays onto Emma, Emma is pulling ME closer and closer. So Eve takes God by the hand and says ‘I’m tired’ and pulls her toward the bedroom where this mattress on the floor is and God takes me by the hand and says all cheerful like ‘Come on, now, let’s go to bed!’ with a smile that must’ve wrapped her whole head. So we’re all just laying there. The devil on the left, Me on the right, and God in the middle. We’re there not even two minutes before I hear the Devil landing kisses onto God’s neck and so I’m thinking ‘we’ll, okay, I better not just sit here being all awkward’ and so I start kissing God along the shoulder blades and I run my finger’s softly down God’s side and then, you know, I take a handful of God’s ass. And Emma, she just laughs saying ‘HA! This is happening! I can’t believe this is happening! I love you guys! I love you guys…” And me being me I’m thinking ‘Okay, so I guess this really is happening’ and I slowly wrap my fingers around God’s throat and slide my other hand between her legs and the devil moves up from kissing on God’s lips to situating her teeth right over the flesh of God’s holy ear and while she’s doing that, I tell you, she stares me dead in the eyes. Cold. Like ice I’m telling you. Those eyes weren’t human. You know that face Bilbo makes when Frodo suggests he hold onto the ring—that face? Eve’s face was sorta like that. I tell you what though, having just looked death straight through the iris not even twelve-hours earlier, I wasn’t scared of Eve. I just smiled at her. I think I even laughed if I remember. I was a little buzzed off the top so maybe there was some additional sense of courage I was feeling, I don’t know. So I’m kissing and touching on God and the Devil’s kissing and touching on God and there is no mixing anything up about the structure of this triangle until Emma jumps up and says to me, she says; ‘Kiss Eve. Give her everything she asks for. I’ll be back in a second.’ And so all of a sudden it’s just me and the Devil now, and for a full minute we sit there, eyes locked not saying a single word and she’s completely naked and I am nearly completely naked and I just say to her ‘Can I kiss you?’ because like what the fuck else am I supposed to do, you know? And the Devil, she slowly nods her head yes and so I start, like any good gentleman should, down at her feet. Because this is a powerful woman I’m sitting in front of, you know? I can feel it. I sense the danger, the intensity, and to be honest, I’m terrified—honestly. Anyway, I kiss her on her ankles; on her shins; on her knees; on the top of her thighs—which are completely sealed shut, by the way; I kiss on her pelvic bone…her pelvic bone…jutting from the side of that slender waist…I’ve never seen anything like it; I kiss on her stomach; on her chest; her neck…she was hesitant, you know? Sort of stiff in her movements. She kissed me back, but it wasn’t like when she was kissing God. She was slow to it, you know? I stopped everything and put a kiss on her forehead and said to her soft as I could ‘let’s wait for Emma. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.’ But then she says ‘No!’ looking at me with those eyes, you know? Eyes like I’d never seen anywhere before in my life. ‘No! I want you to fuck me!’ she says, and then she bites my neck… I really think Eve didn’t care about anything other than just making this whole improbable situation happen in the first place. She didn’t care about the sex; she just wanted to know that she could do it, I think. And I really believe that. She wanted to know her reach, her strength. She was so calculated. And just unconcerned for any emotional or physical results—her only goal was to make it happen. God came back into the room and we gave Eve everything.
I really feel like I was only there to record it, though, you know? These two powerful creatures entangled like that…to evaluate and wrap my head around it. Like I was only there to bridge a gap, per say, and maybe, in some odd way, so I could share the story someday, you know, for some reason. Or maybe it was a way for God to remind me that life’s purposes are shared—despite the immensity of any individual person. To remind me that you need it all, you know? Both sides. I am talking about deities, here, after-all. It’s so silly, sharing is. Ha…what a concept…”
Everyone in the room, of which only a few knew this guy’s name (Michael not included) stared at this guy, his eyes hollowed from an overactive hippocampus. Living in the past.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He said, coming to. “I know that was all a bit much. I frequent the day in my mind—reliving the moments. Ha! At one point I put my tongue to God’s lips as the devil had hers on God’s asshole! Ha! And you know what God said, loosening her bite on my bottom lip? She turns to Eve and she says ‘Eve! You fucking Devil, you!’—Ha! Can you believe it? God calls the Devil by her name. I’ll never forget that...”
The guy gulps down the last of bit of his beer, takes in a deep breath, and slowly exhales. The smell of alcohol and marina sauce fills Michael’s nostrils.
“I remember the smells more than anything. Musk? Maybe? I don’t know. It was warm. It was invigorating, inviting…safe, maybe? But it was also scary. I felt like I shouldn’t have been there, but also like I wasn’t supposed to leave. Forgive me for being so vulgar. I realize almost none of you know me…but yeah, that’s my threesome story.”
“I mean, that’s cool all, but did you make cheeks clap or nawh’ll? Cuz otherwise you gay.” Said Jared.
“What the fuck do you mean by God and the Devil? You mean you dreamed this shit up or something?” Asked, albeit in a rather rude and aggressive manner, a female student at the table.
“No, I mean what I said. I was with God and the Devil that night. I touched religion—I don’t mean that metaphorically. You know, there’s a little bit of that supernatural in all of us. I’m not talking about magic; everything has its scientific explanation—religion and science, as the cliché goes, are not all that different from one another. Each come from observation, it’s just that most religions pre-date the scientific equipment we now use to measure and better understand those observations. Religion doesn’t grow, the main stream ones anyway, in the same sense as science does. Most of the religious texts were drafted to control, or are misconstrued as being law. But in earnest the two things are the same—at base level they are a way to explanation observations. Besides, religion makes the whole thing easier to consume, it gives this life thing a narrative. People, I think, are wrong when they say science doesn’t dabble in morals. These people ignore the reach of brain science and our understanding of empathy and purpose in the human mind…I’m getting off topic…But yeah, I meant what I said. Those two women held the forces of destiny, they have their paths, their aspirations, and their acute understanding of human condition. Each of them chose to utilize that understanding in their own, opposing way. But that night, those forces came together. And I think, maybe, I was placed there by some pre-destined, ridiculous cosmic and outwardly force only so that those two didn’t kill each other in their passion. Or maybe just so I didn’t kill myself. I woke up the next morning and Eve was gone. I asked Emma if she wanted to Uber with me back to my car so I could drop her off somewhere since I had to get going to work, but she told me she was fine. I visited that coffee shop about every day for the next two weeks but never saw Eve, or even Emma. I asked the baristas if Eve had gone on vacation or something and no one there had a clue who I was talking about. I never saw either of them again.”
“You’re full of shit. I don’t believe a word of it.” Said the same woman who made the earlier comment.
“That next morning, after I got to my car, I stopped in at Safeway and bought a cookie and a diet Dr. Pepper on my way to work, you know, to celebrate having not killed myself. I keep the receipt here in my wallet.”
“Doesn’t prove anything.” She said.
“Okay,” Michael cut in, “whose turn is it to draw a card…”
submitted by KenCJr to writers [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 09:35 horrorgenrefan Back on the saddle but with no horse

Out of a 6 year relationship. Got comfortable, good job, place to live comfortably, yet was still cheated on. Provided food, warmth, cuddles, rides to work (for five years, she didn't drive until 3 months ago) and I wasn't abusive.
4 guys.. 3 in the month of our 6th year anniversary. 1 revealed to me as I helped her pack her stuff before she left. Didn't get a name but got names of the rest.
I'm bipolar and during our relationship went into a facility for 6 days to get the help I needed. Cost was 20k, insurance took it down to 7k. I laughed because I was further into debt because of it. Was on pills and now off of them to feel again. I chose to feel because I knew something was wrong. I was right.
I waned off of the pills safely. I no longer needed the stacks. Overall I was much fatter but sound of mind.
What I'm trying to get at is my body changed and my sex drive nearly diminished. I think we loved each other but after what happened I don't really know anymore.
I would always show affection. I'd kiss her before i went to work. I would pick her up from work even if I had a real hard day. Her schedule was always late night so for years I didn't get much sleep.
There were times where she wanted to find herself or explore other things. We made friends with this beautiful girl once. Met at a bar. Looks aren't everything my friends. This girl was infatuated with her at the time. She asked me one time if it would be ok for her to mess around with the girl. We communicated it through and I'd agreed. It was her first time being with a girl. So I obliged.
I've done many things in my past. Things that many don't get the chance to experience. So, I thought that since we're in this together I might as well go with it and see where it goes. They slept together twice. We also had a threesome but I did not sleep with the girl only my gf at the time. We did a bunch of oral things but that was communicated thoroughly.
The girl and I had a pretty good friendship going. I never slept with her. I did cuddle her a few times even naked once but this was all communicated throughout my relationship with my ex at the time. We would sometimes all sleep together, drink together and just be together.
The beautiful girl was still infatuated with her though and tried to get me to sleep with her one day. I didn't sleep with her that night. It was the last day I'd be over for a night cap. I was usually a very tired man from work.
The beautiful girl introduced us to her coworkers one time. A couple similar to us. Although we had our vast differences the similarities were there and the connection was the beautiful girl. The other couple were having the same interaction with the beautiful girl. We were all manipulated in some form. Unfortunately the guy in the other relationship succumbed to the girl and she broken a 5 year relationship within the month.
So you could see that I believe I was an open kind of person. Communication works in relationships. So what happened?
It was July 2020. We ventured to our favorite sushi place. The beautiful girl was out of our lives and it was mainly us in the meantime. At the time I was still on my meds. We had a talk about taking a break. It was quite random but she brought it up. She wanted to find/discover herself again. She says that she's always been in a relationship and wants to feel independent. She wanted a break but didn't know how to do it since she lived with me.
So we made agreements. The break would happen. No rent just save your earnings from job and then move out. Get your license, rewrite the resume, and start diving into yourself to find the happiness you sought-after. We both agreed that if we were to talk to others that we would communicate it with each other. If we were interested in others that we would communicate with each other about it so there were no surprises. She then asks if I slept with the beautiful girl in which I say no.
Terms were made. Nothing changed in the beginning. I agreed that I wouldn't tell my friends about this. She agrees to not tell her friends as well.
Nothing was ever communicated thereafter. She became distant and cold. Began watching streams and after awhile I didn't know who this person was. There were late night errands and late night chats that lasted for hours. I would come home from work, tired, and would see her on the tablet video chatting with others. I would have to be quite not to disturb their chat time in my own house.
The distance was so great it started to numb my senses. That's when I waned off the meds.
There are so many in-betweens its hard to get the whole story out without missing a crucial detail.
She got her license, drove my car to make "errands" and wouldn't fill the tank up. I would have the tank full and when I got in it for work would barely have a quarter tank left. She would constantly be on stream talking to these people and especially with a person called Mr. Crabs.
Here's the ending to the story without writing the rest of this novela. As much as we agreed on this break we were still together at the time. I communicated with her as agreed and played along with her midnight errands and near naked video chats. She's a terrible liar and watching her do so in front of my very eyes ate up something deep inside me.
I loved this person. I truly did. We met on Halloween. It was the night I was going to commit suicide. Where I worked had bad service at the time. It was near an airport. I was a customer service rep amd really hadn't anything going on for me. So, Halloween was a good night to dissappear forevermore.
The moment I walked out of the building I get this call. My friend calls. Says you got to meet this girl. I say to myself, one last party for one last night. It turns out we were both going to commit suicide that night. It's so difficult to make this story short.
We saved ourselves. Lots of in-between things happen and we saved ourselves. Life doesn't work out that way though.
There were red flags from the beginning. Both of us had our demons but we still continued. I helped her out of depression while I began to dive deeper into it.
I'm sorry for making this longer than it should. I feel played, used and disrespected.
All the times she ran errands was to see this guy 40 miles away from where we lived.
All the private streams was for the streamer called Mr. CRABS whom was actually a person we had problems with in the past. Two years into our relationship and she almost slept with this one guy from work. She didn't because we were in a relationship and the other guy didn't because he was in a relationship even though he had already cheated on her before.
Mr. Crabs was him..
Whenever she was taking photos of herself in short shorts or just her bra and underwear, the pictures were going to him.
This was going on way before our talk in July.
My sister managed to look into her tablet. At the time she was out of the house living with here friends because I had enough of it all when she came back after an errand with communication whatsoever. I got it out of her that she was sleeping with some other dude everytime she ventured out.
It didn't make sense to me. I grew up having many girl friends. Naturally I get along with girls than I do with guys. My guy friends are few compared to the girls I have in my life. I've lost touch with many of them during this relationship.
Whenever I wanted to hang out with one of my friends she would go into a frenzy of worry but when I find out that she was going out each time to sleep with another she had no expression of any kind. It was the meh get over it look. Or the so what vibe.
That's when I told her it was time to tell the friends and family in which she repsonds that her friends had already knew. Having spoken to them face to face without a single care really hit something deep down inside of me. A feeling of some sort. A terrible loneliness or a part of me died knowing that.
You see, what my sister found in her tablet were emails being sent back and forth between the dude from work and her. They bought each other stuffed toys and onesies suit. She bought him a 200 dollar mic and other things. She liked this band that I didn't like but listened to because not all things should be shut out. I say lets listen darling! It was metal band and they were ok. I love metal but this type of metal was void of any deepness. It was bland and sort of weak. Turns out it was the dudes favorite band. He even had a tattoo on his arm for them. She had bought shirts that she would always wear to bed. She was going to Oregon to see them with someone else behind my back. Covid struck and the plans were off but that turned out to be a lie. It was to go to Oregon with him to see the band.
All of this happened months before July. Years even. I've been dupped, manipulated, disrespected, lied to.
The shadyness, the hiding, the fake stories. Everything. All for him. I was used as a means of survival. It was quite impressive.
Now I'm here. Offering a small percentage of the story to a bunch of strangers. I don't look too good anymore. I don't find myself attractive or interesting. My focus is on work and moving elsewhere. There's a voice that tells me to search for someone but I know that the game for me is over. I don't exactly fear death. It's not as bad as you think. I have successfully suffocated myself to death. Its pretty painless. My friend brought me back to life. In later years he followed suite but I wasn't there to save him.
I just feel broken. I look at the symmetry of peoples faces and find disinterest in all. As much as I would like to find a partner my mind has just given up on that venture. People continue to create more humans but for what reason? It's a deeper issue than what this blip of a story is but the concern is still there. I've always felt that I needed someone strong or something but find that I'm none of those things and nothing more than an average joe that does what I can with the resources I have at the time of need.
I blame myself. My lifes path was always filled with sadness. I've carried numerous friends to their graves. Smiled when smiling wasn't necessary and most of all carried a burden of grief from my poor upbringing. I am the person no one wants to be around but that person you can depend on when in a bad spot in their lives.
I don't know anymore. All of this, what ever this is may be temporary but even purgatory can have a nice ocean view.
I've tried the dating apps but I'd rather meet people. I meet people and usually they are not what they portray what they say to be. Everyone has their own agenda, their own life. It's never easy accepting the failure.
My question is should I wait it out several years more before I attempt the dating world again? All things considered I feel defeated. Its weird because life has never been greater. A good job with benefits, a roof over head, goals, hobbies, you name it. Its just more fun to do things with another.
Short version. Cheated on, back into the dating world but feel defeated. Give up dating to work on self or keep going with the flow and see where things lead.

  • take what you want from this readers. It's just one more piece I am offering to the masses. Just another brick in the wall.
submitted by horrorgenrefan to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 09:08 Useful-Mistake-7366 Naked house cam

This isn’t really a sexual question but more how people feel about each other privates. I’ve seen some videos lately of thing like the naked challenge and certain prank videos where the man or women walk around the house naked. For the most part if the women is naked the man is usually trying to be all over them and stop what they are doing right that second. But I’ve noticed that when it’s a man the dude either gets laughed at or he gets made fun off and because the dude doesn’t really care he kinda just takes it and this is more common the longer you have been with someone. So I wanna ask people (specifically women but anyone can answer) how do your feel about your other walking around naked and does it do anything to you? I’m very curious because as a said before it seems like when women get naked the men are all over them. But when it’s the men they get laughed at and made fun off and I know it would be a joke if the women got laughed at every time she took her clothes off. So what are y’all’s thoughts?
submitted by Useful-Mistake-7366 to sex [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 06:48 NarrowSherbet3924 I think I might of been raped

I think I was raped by a man who worked at my college. He groomed me to get me close and to fall in love with him. I trusted him because he was a member of staff at my college. It didn't cross my mind that he would do hurt me.
We would talk. He would flirt in such a subtle way I fell for him pretty hard. It was this magical intoxication of lust and infatuation. I am secretly gay and this man approached me in private and offered me everything I ever wanted. I grew up never to have a father so when this powerful, attractive, middle aged man showed up he was really appealing. I was just completely hooked on him and he knew it.
Was I naïve? Yes. Should I have pursued him? Of course not. Did I? Yeah, stupidly I did everything I could to talk to him and be around him.
He eventually asked me if I wanted to stay behind after college. He would finish an hour after the buses left and he'd give me a lift to his house. I took him up on that offer. That day I sat and watched the buses leave. I waited the house and met him in the carpark. He lead me to his car. It was a black landrover with heated leather seats.
When I got into his car I felt a rush of anxiety because deep down I knew I shouldn't be doing it, but I was excited so ignored my gut instinct. On the car ride I had moments of feeling unsafe and uncertain, but I had already gotten into the car. I didn't feel able to just leave after that. After a bit of an awkward silence we began talking on the way. I think the first conversation was: I can't believe we're doing this. This was then followed by small talk. We were pretty much strangers and I knew barely anything about him. All he knew about me was what I studied and that I was gay and fancied him. All I knew about him was he worked at my college, was hot and was into me. We had shared absolutely nothing about our personal lives with each other. The car ride felt a bit too formal to be honest.
I was nervous, but the nerves were replaced with excitement. I fancied him and he was this tall, confident man who actually liked me. It felt crazy to hook up in such a way with someone who worked at my college and who I knew nothing about. I didn't know what we were going to do at his house, but I thought it would be something good. To begin with it was. We watched TV, he made me dinner, he began asking things about myself which quickly turned to sex.
We had sex multiple times and he made me feel secure with him. He said I could stay the weekend and I agreed. I slept in his bed next to him and we spooned naked. Whilst I was asleep was when it happened and i think he might have raped me. I woke up to him holding me down and penetrating me. The surprise sex hurt and i told him to stop, but he didn't. He said something like he had morning wood and needed to relieve it. Afterwards I was very sore and bleeding. His attempt to make it up to me was to give me a handjob, but I told him I didn't want it multiple times and he grabbed me and pushed me back onto the bed when I tried to get up from it. He just kept telling me to relax and stop trying to get up and i gave up because I'm weak. Both the sex and the handjob felt forced. It felt like he didn't respect me and humiliating. I felt shame afterwards and mentioned it, but he just said I was over reacting.
I slept next to him the following night, but made him promise not to wake me up with sex because I was very sore. I went to sleep laying on my back with my clothes on. I lay awake all night and pretended to sleep. During this time he kept groping my body. I'm pretty certain he thought I was sleeping and didn't think I'd know. I just lay there in silence and it felt like I was being molested.
When the weekend was over he gave me a lift to college and I had to go a full day of classes trying to understand what the hell that was. I still don't know his full name, his mobile number or how to feel about what happened. When I went to talk to him today he seemed really cold with me. He acted like I was just another student and when I asked if we were OK he said who he is at work and who he is at home are two different people and told me not to mention it again.
submitted by NarrowSherbet3924 to MenGetRapedToo [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 05:09 itsallalittleblurry Naked house cam

Bud was, from early on, a troublesome child. Not in the sense that he was poorly-behaved in any serious way. Maybe annoying would be a better term. He had that in spades.
His favorite pastime was making, as best he could, his siblings’ lives unending misery. At this he excelled.
There are a good many examples of his well thought out and deftly executed devilments, but one stands out in memory for its imagination and cruelty:
His older brother, being no fool, elected, in his Senior year, to study golf in order to fulfill his athletic requirements. By “study”, he discovered that he could spend quiet, sunny afternoons doing what he enjoyed anyway, and actually get credit for it, instead of sitting in a classroom or pursuing more mainstream athletic endeavors.
Bud realized, at some point, with something akin to dismay, that he had neglected lately to sufficiently enrage his older brother to the extent that the customary fistfight would ensue. This must remedied. He studied on it - what to do? What to do?
Wheels spun and gears meshed. His natural deviousness eventually began, once again, to assert itself:
He considered that older Bro, the only youngster among the gaggle of mostly elderly men who habitually frequented the local golf course, had once confessed to him that, though he was accepted into their company, and did truly enjoy his afternoons, he was never quite completely at ease among them, he being so much younger, and, inevitably, the butt of the occasional joke.
This was grist to fill the mill of Bud’s imagination. How best to further embarrass older Bro in front of this august company?
His sisters, though they had long outgrown them, had, he knew, a fairly extensive collection of Barbie dolls stashed in a cardboard box in the closet. He waited until the house was asleep, and went to work.
Stealthily aquiring his merchandise, he carried it into the living room, where Bro’s clubs sat near the door, awaiting use upon the morrow. By the light of a small flashlight clutched between his teeth (for it wouldn’t do to wake the house, and thereby be interrupted), he unclothed two dozen Barbie dolls and stuffed them, nude, deep down into the depths of the bag, on top of the clubs. He stashed the box and went to bed.
The putter would not come out of the bag when Bro stepped up to the green. He gave it another yank. Still nothing. There must be some obstruction.
“Having some trouble there, son?” one of the oldsters asked, as several others looked on in puzzlement.
“No, I got it” he replied. “It’s hung up on somethin’.”
He grasped the handle firmly and yanked the putter out. Naked barbies flew everywhere.
Eight old men howled with laughter as Bro stood there seething, his face becoming ever darker shades of red mortification. One old guy was on his hands and knees in helpless tears of mirth, his cigar stub fallen unheeded to the grass.
Another, Bro confessed to me later, he feared was having a heart attack, and he was trying to remember the necessary steps to administer CPR.
To their credit, his geriatric golf companions did, when they could breath again, help him collect the dolls scattered about on the grass, one thinking to ask him, in all innocence, which were his favorites.
The fight that night was a doozy. I had a hell of a time breaking them up.
submitted by itsallalittleblurry to FuckeryUniveristy [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 04:56 shinyard the story of my vasectomy

It started as any other Wednesday. getting up and going to work. Knowing full well that for the next couple days I'll be completely useless. Bound to a buddy's couch. icepack on my groin, beer in hand. i was actually looking forward to it. Like a mini painful vacation with a nice side bonus of never being able to have kids again. Especially because i was single.
Work was relatively uneventful. As far as building a house goes anyway. Getting home at a usual time. Following my usual after work routines of whiskeys, smoking, smart phones and hot tubing. I proceeded to settle in too a nice warm soak. I pulled out my phone and did my usual trolling of dating apps. Answering whatever messages i had received while i was working.
I had matched with a girl that lived close by. Let's call her Lisa. She had messaged and asked what i was up too. So, i sent her a selfie of me in the tub drinking whiskey. As that is what i was currently up too. This kicked off curiously active messaging spree. It flowed naturally and trailed off until i was out of the tub and continuing my routine of showering.
Realizing that i had to let another dude man handle my sack the following day. They had emailed very strict and hilarious instructions on how to shave your nuts. I set upon my task of not cutting myself with the incredibly sharp razor and saving the doctor the trouble the next day. Messaging Lisa furiously to the point where she had my phone almost smoking. This kind of thing happened enough to me. Great conversations and then POOF. ghost. So, i didn't really take much stock in it. That is until She asked if i was up for visitors. Mid shave i thought to myself, Why the hell not. I'm off for the next 4 days at least. It was my week off from the kids and my live-in refugee was out for the night. I had the house to myself. I did have to get up rather early though. Well regular time anyway.
Still shaving my coin purse i said sure. come on over. She asked for my address, which i provided. Turns out she only lived 2 streets over. Which was rather convenient to say the least. She could walk over, which means that she could have some drinks. If you know me, you know that I love drinks. She asked to meet halfway. I said no problem. Give me 20 minutes as i needed to finish shaving and shower. I grossly underrated the time it took to shave balls while answering multiple messages. getting out of the shower as she messages that she is on her way. I rush to get dressed and run out the door. I think i made it 10 houses before meeting up with her. so much for halfway.
She was a cute petite blond. She actually looked like her pictures which was a nice change in this age of filters. We proceeded back to my house. The house wasn't totally trashed as the kids weren't home on this week. But it wasn't exactly clean either as refugee and I tend to slack on the weeks off from the kids. As she walked into the back of the house her eyes went wide as she took notice of our constantly growing collection of Jameson bottles which i instantly blamed on covid. It is a bachelor house, and the shelf the bottles are on really needed something on them. It defiantly took some of the heat off the house being less clean than it should have been at least.
We settle in for some drinks and conversation. Me drinking the usual Jameson's on ice and her drinking white claws and wine. Drinking enough that I don't remember the content of our conversations, just that it was fluid. Which made the drinks disappear way faster than someone who was going to be cut in a very sensitive area should have been drinking. The hot tub was brought up and in we went. Me in my trunks. her in her bra and panties. If you know anything about hot tubs, you know that they are a booze multiplier. Which isn't what you need the night before a vasectomy.
I don't remember when we got out of the tub, just that we got out because we needed more drinks. Apparently she had run out. The only drinkable liquid that me a refugee had in the house that wasn't coffee, water, or whiskey was some left-over vodka. She proceeded to polish off most of the reserve booze. We moved the party upstairs as we were both significantly hammered enough to have sex with a stranger.
We mess around for an undetermined amount of time. Not being neutered yet, and her being a complete stranger, wearing a condom was mandatory. Not even 30seconds of me having said condom on, Lisa starts balling. Litteral sobs about her ex. I can relate, ending a relationship this year. Obviously the game has been called and i offer to walk her home. The walk there was me just trying to be comforting while punctuated by her sobs. The walk was quick, she lived really close. I gave her a hug at the door and wished her well. Walking home trying to drunkenly prepare myself mentally for what's to come the next day. Having to be at a buddy's house around 630 am the next day. I pass out for my 4-hour nap.
I wake up to my phone vibrating. Which is my buddy who i am going with to get vasectomy's whose wife is nice enough to drive us. I pick it up and he just yells where the fuck are you. I look at my clock and it says 650. I had slept through 12 alarms. I hang up on him and jump out of bed and put on the closest clothes to the bed. Hit the ground running is an understatement. Driving like a mad man and making it there by 705.I didn't even realize how hungover i was until i got into his truck. No coffee, i didn't even get to brush my teeth, i was a mess. On my way to a vasectomy.
I pleaded for them to at least stop at the gas station on the way so i could procure a energy drink and a snack as i have just about to have a procedure on my boys and a valium was part of the party about to happen. They grudgingly oblige. I pop my valium and eat and drink my snacks on the 40km drive downtown to the doctor's office. Getting there in the nick of time. My buddy drew the short straw and had to go first. Due to covid i had to wait outside despite having the next appointment. So, me and his wife and his newly acquired puppy are hanging out when it hits me. I have to shit.
Being downtown early in the morning there's not a lot of places around that are open and nearby. There was a drug mart across the street that was 24 hours. So, I walk over, buddy's wife and dog in tow. Turns out that the don't let customers use bathrooms during pandemics. So, i walked out slightly defeated. Outside I eyeball a construction site that has an outhouse. Site seems a little busy though. And then I see it. across the street nestled next to a dumpster is a plastic shit house. The light to cross the street is red but the tension on my colon is rising at an incredible rate. I start to get antsy like a 5-year-old boy who has to pee. Light goes green and im off. Can't run because that would spell disaster. Almost there I'm with in 5 feet when it happens. My colon could feel the relief coming and decided it couldn't wait.
I shit my fucking pants.
This was no ordinary shit. I had my gall bladder removed and i skipped dinner the night before. If i had eaten none of this would have happened My liver had been pumping pure liquid bile into my intestines for the last 20 hours. And couple that with a 3/4 bottle of Jameson. This wasn't just shit. this was life just straight kicking me in the face when I'm most vulnerable.
By now i have my pants off and I'm regretting every decision I have made in the last 24 hours. I strip right down in the plastic shitter. Thank god there was a fresh stack of those brown paper towels. there's pure liquid shit everywhere. it's on my socks, it's on my phone, my pants are absolutely destroyed. Don't even ask about the boxers. I'm standing there butt fucking naked and my shit covered phone starts ringing. I answer (on speaker) and its the receptionist from the doctor's office saying that they're ready for me. I wish i had a picture of the look on my face. I told them that I'm just around the corner in the bathroom and I'll be right in. Shaking my head while i look at the pure fucking carnage that has just happened to me. I scrub as much shit out of my pants and off my phone as i can. Ditch my boxers and saddle up my shit-soaked pants to go get my vasectomy.
Walking as straight legged as I can without looking suspicious, i march in and down the stairs. There was a waiting receptionist who prompted me to leave my shoes and coat at the door and to show her my health card and to process payment. I do all these things as requested while trying to not have a complete fucking breakdown. I'm hungover, about to get my balls cut and just epically shit my pants. I'm just so done. I get asked my waist size and get ushered into a small room where I'm sure everyone in a 10 ft radius can smell the pure hell I'm currently living.
The doctor comes in and shuts the door. Tells me to drop em. I hesitate for reasons. I slowly oblige and lay down on the table as requested. Feeling really bad for this docs nostrils and he hoses me down iodine. He then proceeds to work it in. He was not nice about it. I don't know if he was being rough just because he does this all day every day or because I was covered in fecal matter. The procedure was quick. Not so painless. I don't know if because of the shit he decided to fake numbing me because I felt absolutely everything. I didn't even care at this point I just wanted a shower. Just do what you got to do to get the shit soaked guy out of your office, doc.
While this is happening i can hear my buddy chirping me from down the hall. Normally it would make me laugh but at the current time it did not spark humour. Doc finish's up and tosses a gauze on my junk like I'm a dirty hooker who just got payed. I proceed to get the fuck out as fast as i can. I get to the reception area to grab my shoes and coat and my buddy in his Infinet wisdom decided that it was a great time to hide one of my shoes. Granted he had absolutely no idea what had transpired earlier. I find my shoe and straight legged walked out and back to the truck. I open the truck and let them know that I needed to go home asap. I don't know what hit them first, the smell or me explaining why and how I shit my pants.
Moral of the story?
Don't Jameson and vasectomy.
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2020.11.27 03:32 picklerxcky Naked house cam

I was born in 1996. My entire life, I was morbidly obsessed with murder documentaries and true crime tv shows or movies based on true crimes. I was just watching an episode of Murder Mountain depicting the hippies growing weed to be dancing naked and working on building a house at the same time. I mean, I felt a little jolt of electricity in my spine up to my brain like it was coarsing through every vein individually in my head. I immediately felt a connection to this. I don't know how to explain it, but I instantly knew (not thought) I was a naked hippie smoking and growing weed in California around that same time. My entire adulthood, I transitioned from a teenager here and now obsessed with heavy metal music and one day, I randomly became addicted to Dion & the Belmonts. 60s doo-wop music! I was totally shocked. I hated today's pop music, but hearing his voice sing The Wanderer on Fallout 4, I was hooked that (not an exaggeration) I went into labor playing Fallout 4 listening to a spotify playlist of only Dion.
Sorry this is so long-winded, especially for mobile users, but I really think I was fucking murdered in the late 70s to early 80s. I feel it so strongly even when I watch hair metal music videos like Rob Zombie and White Snake. I just sense something in my gut telling me I have seen them live before when I certainly have not in this life.
If there are any psychics out there, could you confirm this? I am female in this life but I really feel like I was male in my last life if nothing else matches up to my theory.
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2020.11.27 03:29 picklerxcky Naked house cam

I was born in 1996. My entire life, I was morbidly obsessed with murder documentaries and true crime tv shows or movies based on true crimes. I was just watching an episode of Murder Mountain depicting the hippies growing weed to be dancing naked and working on building a house at the same time. I mean, I felt a little jolt of electricity in my spine up to my brain like it was coarsing through every vein individually in my head. I immediately felt a connection to this. I don't know how to explain it, but I instantly knew (not thought) I was a naked hippie smoking and growing weed in California around that same time. My entire adulthood, I transitioned from a teenager here and now obsessed with heavy metal music and one day, I randomly became addicted to Dion & the Belmonts. 60s doo-wop music! I was totally shocked. I hated today's pop music, but hearing his voice sing The Wanderer on Fallout 4, I was hooked that (not an exaggeration) I went into labor playing Fallout 4 listening to a spotify playlist of only Dion.

Sorry this is so long-winded, especially for mobile users, but I really think I was fucking murdered in the late 70s to early 80s. I feel it so strongly even when I watch hair metal music videos like Rob Zombie and White Snake. I just sense something in my gut telling me I have seen them live before when I certainly have not in this life.

If there are any psychics out there, could you confirm this? I am female in this life but I really feel like I was male in my last life if nothing else matches up to my theory.
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2020.11.27 03:01 jmiles00 Reflecting on a memory (tw incest? Maybe)

Picture this: I'm 9 or 10 years old. Me and my cousin, who's only a few months older, are over at my grandparents house. Were staying up later than we should, watching robot chicken. The last episode of the night goes off but he wants to watch more, he goes to "on demand" and types "adult." Pf course, tons of pornography shows up. He spends a while trying to get me to agree to watch it, but I dont want too. I'm not interested and I know well get in trouble. To get him to stop, I roll over in ny sleeping bag and pretend to be asleep. A few minutes later, I turn back, and hes sitting on the couch, completely naked, dick hard. I turn away and tell him to get dressed. He says he always sleeps naked so it doesnt matter. I ignore him. He says that I've seen him naked, so now he has to see me. I say no. He keeps asking me to undress over and over and I just pretend to be asleep until I finally am. We get up the next morning and it's never mentioned again. I think about this all the time. I feel like I'm being dramatic, like it's something that happens to all pre teen kids. Like it shouldn't stick out in my memory so much. Is this normal? Was I abused? Does this "count?" Please, help.
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2020.11.27 02:31 Important_Feed9098 Naked house cam

The problem I’m having is with my (26f) best friend (26f) we can call her T. She and I have been friends for over 13 years since we were kids. Things were fine in my eyes until college. I met the man (26m) I’m now engaged to in college and she started exhibiting odd behavior ever since.
The first thing was T shaking her breasts in his face at her award dinner in front of her parents and staring me dead in the face. I confronted her about it and she told me she thinks it’s fun to make her friends jealous and she does it to all of her. I told her I was not ok with that at all and she knows me better than that. After that things were quiet. She later asked if my fiancé would escort her into another event. I wasn’t really ok with it but I asked him anyway to be nice and he agreed to it. And things seemed normal but in hindsight I wish I said told her no off the bat because he said yes as a favor to me.
She got very sick a few months after this. We were scared we would lose her but she survived. The illness caused T to have epilepsy. A year later she asked to stay at my fiancé and my apartment because she wanted to go to an event at the college we all went to. I asked my fiancé and he said yes he was okay with me having her over so she came and it seemed fine but I caught her changing in the hallway. I spazzed a little and asked her why she was in the hall half naked when he and his twin brother could come around the corner any second. She told me she didn’t care.
I told T to go into the bathroom and finish changing and she did. T later came into our room after me and asked to see our sex toys. Before I moved in with my fiancé she gave me a sex toy she used to use with her ex and asked me to get rid of it for her because she had been holding on to it and needed to let go. I thought it was weird but I threw it away for her. After asking about our toys (which I told her I was absolutely not showing and or discussing with her) she asked where the toy she gave me was and if we used it. I reminded T that she asked me to toss it so I did and told her her question about if we used it was gross. T was disappointed.
Months later after this stay T asked if my fiancé would accompany her to an award ceremony for a club she joined in uni (we went to the same uni) to give her support because she allegedly couldn’t stand for long periods of time and to catch her in case she randomly fell. T then made it clear that I wasn’t invited and said I didn’t need to worry she would thank him by taking him out to dinner.
I pushed back and asked why she didn’t ask one of the several club members she knew very well to help her. T said she didn’t trust any of them like she trusted them but that made no sense because she and my fiancé don’t know each other well and don’t have a relationship. I told her this and she said she trusts him because he loves me and would make sure nothing happened to her because he loves me.
I talked to my fiancé about it even though I was going to tell her no because I didn’t want to lie and he said yes but we talked more and I asked if he was sure and told him if he was ever not okay with something he should tell me then the truth came out and he said he has not been ok with doing stuff for her and felt uncomfortable. He was doing it to make me happy and I told him not to ever do something that makes him uncomfortable because he thinks it’ll make me happy. He felt better after our talk. I told T that we needed to talk.
I told T my fiancé was not okay at all with it and she needed to ask one of her club mates. I also told her she would absolutely under no circumstance ever take my fiancé out to dinner without me or in general. T is gay and said she didn’t think anything of it because of that. I told her it wasn’t cool regardless and was overstepping especially when I clearly was not invited and she told me she didn’t want me to be bored so she didn’t invite me.
In the end my fiancé did not participate and the entire ceremony T was standing, walking around, jumping, and dancing even though she was telling me she couldn’t do those things (except walking) because of her muscle seizures.
We still allowed T to stay the night that evening. When we got back to the house she was being really clingy (I don’t like being held for long periods of time or horse playing). She grabbed me and wrestled me to the floor calling me best friend over and over and would not let me go no matter how much I asked. I literally had to peel her off me and ask her to take it easy. I want to say this for context; when we agreed to let her stay we told her she had to leave around 10 am because we had plans with my fiancé’s mom. She agreed and told us she setup a ride already. The morning came and we were all in the living room. She was not packing or anything so around 10 I asked if her ride was on the way. T texted her ride and she told us yes.
11 am came and her ride wasn’t there so we asked what was happening and she said she didn’t know and called her club mate who was supposed to take her home. They told her they went to a party in the city and would get them in an hour. We said ok and reminded her we had plans that afternoon. An hour and a half passed and her friend still wasn’t there so I asked what was going on and she called her got mad. I was like wth and T said her friend didn’t want to leave the party yet but would come get her that night. We said no that wouldn’t work and I called her an Uber and paid $100 for her to go home.
The climax of all this was an event at our school. I offered to drive her to the hotel she and her club mates were staying at ( I told her my fiancé wasn’t okay with her staying at the apartment). I told her I needed to grab her right after work and to be ready to go because traffic is god awful where we lived and I had to do A TON of driving while exhausted. on the way to Ts house my fiancé told me she made him get her marriage blessing before she talked to him about engagement ring stuff.
I told him what I told her, that I did not want her to do that and that my father was the only one he needed to talk to. She did this behind my back and I was very upset. When I got to her house from my job she wasn’t ready. I waited for 10 minutes and we left, I confronted her about what happened with my fiancé and T denied it vehemently. I pressed for a while and she kept denying it and I finally told her he told me what happened and that I was not happy. She was upset he told me and I reminded her of what I said and that it wasn’t cool to do that against and behind my back. She apologized and we moved on from it.
That night she went to a party. At midnight she sent her location map to my fiancé in case he needed to pick her up. He told me and I told T not to text him late at night like that and if she needed help I would be the one to pick her up not him. She said she texted us both in case I was asleep and I asked why she did it separately and why she didn’t send me her location. She just repeated herself rolled her eyes and Apologized saying she wouldn’t do it again.
The next day i slept in and got up late which led to me arriving late to the event. I got to our university and started meeting up with all my old friends, I texted her to see where she was to go hang for a little while before finding my fiancé. I found her and she started telling me about how she yelled at my ex bf when she saw him earlier and I was like dude relax let’s have fun today don’t do stuff like that. She didn’t care. So we talked and walked over to some friends and chatted for a bit. My fiancé texted me and asked me to come over to where he was ( he was drunk as hell) so I gave everyone a hug and went to find him. He and I were together the rest of the day walking around and talking to everyone. The day went well but the next day T told me she was mad at me because I didn’t hang out with her enough at homecoming.
I was over it and the next time I saw my mom I spoke to her about it and she told me I needed to set firm boundaries so I did.
T picks and chooses which ones she respects until I remind her then she gives me pushback about my boundaries or tries to make me feel guilty about them. One of them is touch. I don’t like being held or hugged for extended periods of time unless it’s an extreme situation (e.g. like I’m in danger or extremely upset and want to be held). After I laid out all my boundaries we met up a couple days later and she clung on to me, I had to pry her off and remind her about what I said about that making me uncomfortable. She was upset, and we sat down to chat over our coffee and she pretended to cry. I looked at her silently and she stopped after I didn’t say anything.
After wiping her single tear T started asking about everyone she knew was a part of my fiancé’s family (even the dog) I reminded her that I wanted to keep my relationship private and wasn’t comfortable with her asking especially after everything that’s happened (T and I spoke about everything that made my fiancé and I uncomfortable during our talk about boundaries. She said she didn’t remember half of it but apologized and said she didn’t mean any of it). She went down the his family line asking if she could talk to me about them and I said no. I was getting upset because it was like if she couldn’t know about him she had to know about everything else in his life.
I moved out of his apartment because I got a job further away near Ts township and she knew I was not living in the same city with him. I would visit him often after I moved. Since the day T and I met for coffee she started randomly asking if I was in his city or not. She would find news articles about bad things happening in his city and send them to me saying things like “This is for anyone who lives in [fiancé’s city]” I didn’t respond to these messages but they made me uncomfortable.
There’s more (even stuff the day before my birthday) but I’ve given you a lot please help me. One more thing I’ve asked her to be in my wedding party but she seemed upset about the people she doesn’t know being in the party.
I feel very uncomfortable and I’m wondering if I’ve made a mistake. Can I fix this situation? Should I give her space?
TL;DR best friend (26f) put her boobs in my fiancé’s face, changed in the hallway of his apartment, doesn’t respect boundaries, and has been very inappropriate. Even still I asked her to be a bridesmaid but after recent events I’m worried I’ve made a mistake.
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