2020.11.23 15:10 wanderingbilby Free voyeur real
Noticed this while looking for other spammers. Dozens of posts to random subreddits, all with different accounts.
Example Image (SFW) https://i.redd.it/q36vv9f9nz061.jpg
All of these posts are from a 30 minute timespan.
2020.11.11 13:33 nicklo2k Free real voyeur
So, we’re back! The January transfer window is about to open. Unfortunately, Herrera turned down Athletico Bilbao’s contract offer. Looks like he’s destined to be a left back.
Part 1, in case you missed it.
Following a suggestion from u/reversechinlock I’ll be breaking up the wall of text with some image links and some sub headings. However, I didn’t read that until near the end of January, so… not a lot of in game shots at the start of this.
The “World Team of the Year” is announced. Neymar and Marquinhos are in, with Mbappe on the bench. I only assume that Wilshere’s name was misspelled as “Coutinho” on the ballot papers.
Keylor Navas wins “North American Goalkeeper of the Year”. It’s not like he has any competition. Zac Efron comes 2nd and Kasey Keller is 3rd despite having retired in 2011.
Neymar wins the “Foreign Player of the Year” award in Ligue 1. They don’t announce 2nd and 3rd, so I’ll just assume that Tavernier was the runner up.
It’s January! Pickford, Holding and Stones all stroll into the club. Sorry Marquinhos. You may have just been named in the World Team of the Year, but Rob Holdinho is taking your place.
PSG have the 1, 2, 3 for December Player of the Month. Mbappe wins, Tavernier is 2nd and Wilshere is 3rd. DO YOU SEE THIS SOUTHGATE? PICK MY BOYS.
Mbappe dedicates his award to me. Aww, sweet. I’m still going to end up selling him. This is like getting attached to a puppy who you are sitting for a friend. Stop making me like you. It’s going to make it harder to give you away.
I offer Marquinhos and Thiago Silva to clubs to try and raise some funds. They are both very unhappy about this. I get Silva to speak to Marquinhos and Marquinhos to speak to Silva and they both calm down. I can’t believe that worked.
The £90m I have spent on John Stones is a record transfer fee for an English player. It smashed the previous record of £80m for Harry Maguire. I still can’t believe that Slabhead cost that much.
Idrissa Gueye moves to Juventus for £19.5m. The Juventus fans aren’t happy, since he isn’t a big name. They would have preferred Wilshere.
Scott Dann and Leighton Baines agree to join me for free at the end of their contracts. However, since I can pay a small fee to bring them in immediately I do just that. I want a fully English bench as soon as possible.
Maxim Choupo-Moting moves to Lokomotiv Moscow for £1.5m. This is the first time in his whole career that he has cost a transfer fee. Every other move has been a free.
Next game is Riems in the Coupe de la Ligue. I am on a run of 8 games without conceding a goal. If I keep a clean sheet here I will break the record for consecutive clean sheets. Perfect game to debut a new keeper and 2 new CBs.
Henderson has been named my new Captain. I know he is the right man to lead us to our 9th clean sheet in a row. And he does! Riems are smashed 4-0 with goals from Hendo himself, Neymar, and 2 for MOTM Mason Greenwood. Wilshere picked up another assist. DID YOU HEAR THAT YOU WAISTCOAT WANKER?
Due to concerns over the wage budget the board have decreased the amount of transfer revenue retained to 25%!!! WHAT THE HELL?
Rennes are beaten 2-0 in the Coupe de la Ligue quarter final. Man of the Match Jack Wilshere sets up Tavernier before scoring one himself. WHAT MORE CAN THEY DO GARETH? Also, Pickford saved a penalty after debutant Leighton Baines’ lack of pace led to him hauling down the attacker. That’s another clean sheet and a cup semi final to look forward to!
Gareth Southgate was spotted in the stands for the quarter final. He was watching pretty much my entire squad. Ah, fuck it. May as well…
Side quest unlocked: Get Rob Holding his first ever England cap.
I sell Kimpembe to Man U for £30m. The board put £7.5m of that back into the transfer funds. I can’t help but feel ripped off. At least he’s off the wage bill.
Marseille are brushed aside 2-0 at home with goals from Maddison and Neymar. That’s another clean sheet. Pickford, Holding & Stones are yet to concede a goal for PSG. Thiago who?
Oh, that’s also 20 unbeaten in the league. To be honest if I don’t manage to go the whole season unbeaten I will be very surprised. There is no competition. The UCL is where I’ll be tested.
Herrera has picked up an injury in training. I guess double intensity left back training disagrees with him.
The media have finally realised that I’m only signing Englishmen.
I ask the board to build us a stadium. They say no. I ask them to buy our current stadium, since we don’t own it and are renting. They agree to this after saying, and I quote: “We’re looking to make the club the most reputable in Qatar”. What? The owners may be from Qatar but I’m pretty sure that PSG are still based in Paris, France (not Texas).
Next up is Havre in the 10th round of the French Cup. The Dominos League 2 side manage to do what no team has managed since mid November when they score against me. Fortunately Tavernier (pen), Rob Holding and Jack Wilshere each score to give us a 3-1 win. Wilshere is once again named the MOTM. Bellingham breaks another record, this time for being the youngest ever player in the French Cup.
We beat Marseille in the Coupe de la Ligue semi final 2-0 with goals from Mbappe and Greenwood. Pickford wins the MOTM award after making 9 saves. Shitbag Kehrer has a bad game, getting booked and doing a terrible job of defending as Greenwood just walks away from him to find space before scoring the 2nd.
Following on from a suggestion from u/OverrunInMidfield I try to sign Lee Cattermole. VVV accept the bid, but Cattermole doesn’t want to negotiate a contract!!!
Montpellier put up a brave fight, but eventually lose 1-0. The keeper puts in an inspired performance, but is unable to prevent Daniel Sturridge from finally scoring his first goal for the team in his 13th appearance.
I offer Spurs Neymar in exchange for Harry Kane. They refuse. So Instead I agree to sign Herbie Kane from Liverpool on a free at the end of the season. I’ll just tell everyone he’s Harry.
Following another suggestion, I sign Antonio from West Ham. Looks like Mbappe will be spending some time getting used to the bench.
The transfer window is about to close. Time for some panic buying!
Thomas Munier pulls his knee ligaments in training. I think he’s just trying to make sure I can’t sell him before the window shuts. Nope. He limps his arse across the Channel as Watford sign him for £7.75m.
I agree to sign Ashley Young on a free at the end of the season. I pay 500k to make the transfer immediate. He is comfortable playing on either side at fullback. Hopefully no birds shit in his mouth.
I already have Ben Alnwick, but thanks to u/teasdale94 I am made aware that he has a little brother! I immediately sign Jak Alnwick from Rangers for 45k. He’s 7 years younger than big bro Ben. Maybe I’ll make them fight over who gets to sit on the bench behind Pickford. Keylor Navas and Johnny Rico weep quietly in the background.
I loan Ander Herrera to Wolves. They pay half his wages, and have the option to sign him for £6.25m at the end of the deal. The board had to be convinced to allow that, since for some unknown reason they think he’s worth more. Still, at least now he can play as a makeshift left back!
The day has finally arrived! Just hours before the transfer window shuts, I am able to name an entirely English starting XI for the first time. Ashley Young can’t be named in the squad since he played for Inter earlier in the day before making the move. By the start of next season I will have the bench sorted too. As for now Neymar, Mbappe and Marquinhos are lucky to sit on the bench (made out of English Oak).
Saint-Etienne are completely destroyed 3-0. It takes Antonio just 9 minutes into his debut to score. MOTM James Tavernier bags the other goals, 1 penalty and 1 a back post volley from a deep freekick. Wilshere is subbed off with a knock, but luckily it’s just a bruised shin and he will be fine.
Hold the fucking phone. The current top scorer in the league is no longer a PSG player. Dembele at Lyon has picked up 12 goals. Just behind him are Neymar and Tavernier on 11 each. I’d love for right back Tavernier to win Le Golden Flip-Flop, or whatever they call it in France.
2020.11.09 11:58 OneSilverRaven Free real voyeur
Alright... I can do this. Deep breaths. In... out... in...
So Kouzuki Yuuko.
God even saying her name enrages me, this lady is... she's going to... UGH I can't! I just can't spoil it! I hate her, I have never felt such a pure feeling of disgust at a two dimensional image before. I can only thank my lucky starts she's barely in this novel.
*sigh* Let's just get her introduction over with.
Kouzuki hit Sumika with her car and muses about how she "thought that was her" to p-kun. p-kun calls her horrible in his mind, which I had forgotten was one of his first lines about her and couldn't be happier about remembering. She says humans are surprisingly resilient. Sumika materializes back into frame and Kouzuki references how she shot through the air in a chibi scene so I guess those are all real and these people really do just punch like the hulk. Meiya comments on the violent nature of the school's students and faculty which is absolutely accurate. Kouzuki observes Meiya like a potential lab experiment and Tsukuyomi pulls a god damn knife on her. Meiya orders her to stand down after being surprisingly humble about the whole thing before Tsukuyomi shadow steps away like this is a DnD game. A second later she reappears in front of p-kun to explain the Mitsurugi financial group which Meiya is apparently heir apparent to. not sure how you inherit a friggen corporate conglomerate as a teenager but whatever I'm not a businessman and capitalism confounds me anyway. The five minute lecture (I'm not kidding, it's a five minute lecture) didn't help.
Through this whole thing Kouzuki has just stood unflinching which Meiya complements her on, but it turns out she just fainted. Enjoy that small moment dear reader, it is the last where this vile woman shall show a shred of weakness.
p-kun muses on why a financial heiress would visit his sorry ass of all people and while the narrative has not yet provided a satisfactory answer I'll give him another point for at least being THAT self aware. Score is 2 to 91 for those at home.
For some reason the novel chooses NOW to give a Chizuru CG in her lacrosse uniform drinking from a water fountain. I guess to lighten the mood after all that comedy I just sat through? Everyone goes to greet her and she lays into p-kun right after. They have a subtle battle of words. Apparently due to the events of KgNE the school built an indoor pool and it's been pulling all the good Lacrosse recruits so the school is about to shut down the team. That kind of sucks I guess. I played Lacrosse for like 3 games. Still have all the gear even though it's way too small for me now.
p-kun accidentally sends Meiya on a quest to kill a daemon in the form of Akane, starting to think this is just someone's DnD game they wanted to turn into a VN. He proves his narcissism again by explaining how Chizuru's club disbanding is so hard on HIM because it gets Chizuru all fired up to call him out on his bad behavior. Then he and Sumika rush to class.
Kouzuki interrupts role call to tell p-kun to keep his harem in check. A joke funnier in hindsight then in the moment. Trust me you haven't even seen half his waifu candidates yet and only two of the good ones. Jinguuji totally abandons p-kun to the mercy of the class rumor mill and homeroom ends early.
p-kun ends up recounting some events from Akane Maniax where it was established Chizuru was Akane's rival and best friend, long story not important. p-kun tries to flee the class but instead ends up tangled with Chizuru on the floor when she tries to stop him and they land right in front of Kei...
Yeah I don't get this character.
I didn't like Rin in Katawa Shoujo, I didn't get the appeal of kuudere characters in other novels, I don't get why Kei is so popular. She gets some of the best lines, I'll give her that much. My favorite line in the series is one of hers, but I'm just not a fan. Also for some reason p-kun only uses her last name to refer to her the whole series but fuck that I've read five novels with this bitch she's Kei-chan and she can live with it! Chizuru's anger is momentarily shifted to Kei to scold her about being late but Kei ignores her hard core. p-kun is so stunned he just goes back to his seat.
A MAN'S HEART, HIS STOMACH, YOU KNOW THE QUOTE
That day during break Meiya and Sumika both offer him a lunch while Tama comments on how popular he is. Sumika made the same thing as yesterday but still this must have been a ton of work. Meiya's offering is the stupid mushroom dish p-kun complained about not getting during the prologue. The game breaks the fourth wall at this point, thankfully more tactfully then I'm used to in VNs, and has p-kun think about how this choice could be life altering for him, and I guess it is but... well I'll get there.
Yeah I'm gonna eat Sumika's, I'd feel like shit if I didn't she worked so hard on this. And those octopuses are freakin adorable! In a rare show of kindness picking this choice prompts Meiya and p-kun to allow Tama to have the fancy meal which is fine by me. p-kun apologizes to Meiya who takes her L like a champ and excuses herself. For some reason Sumika feels the need to feed p-kun, which is simultaneously humiliating and makes me feel like a king. Kinda wish this was grapes instead NGL but the CG of her holding a little octopus with her mouth open to get p-kun to open his is so adorable I'm willing to just go with it. Yeah this scene is the best one so far, definitely picked the best option here, even if p-kun DOES have to spoil the mood by insulting every detail about the food while he eats. He gives her one whole compliment at the end and she looks so pleased to have "worked so hard" it's really heartwarming.
In the first time of what will become an alarming trend p-kun is kidnapped as he walks the hall after his meal. He ends up in the Physics lab where GODDAMIT!
*Sigh* Kouzuki has Jinguuji in a demon cosplay... Whatever you just imagined it's not EVEN that sexy, 4/10 AT BEST. p-kun likes it though the perv. Kouzuki engages p-kun in a battle of wits but while she brought an anti-material rifle with a full clip and custom scope p-kun seems to be working with a squirt gun. Kouzuki even takes on poor Jinguuji poking fun at her failing love life as a 16t weight drops on her head. Since everyone could see the chibi stuff I'm guessing that's a real thing that's actually happening and am just going to ignore it to preserve my sanity. Kouzuki implies Gouda was transferred out so Maiya could get a seat next to p-kun but jokes on her, he's actually off on Rigel V about now so shows what she knows.
Time skips to the end of the school day where p-kun has cleaning duty. Kei apparently is similarly drafted but she gets into an argument with Chizuru over if she should even be responsible when she's apparently never here. She volunteers Sumika and Meiya in her place and bails. I'm given the option to run away but screw that p-kun could use some hard lessons in the application of elbow grease the lazy bum. Luckily their is a fade to black but TBH that kind of makes the whole scene feel pointless. On the way out of the school Sumika comments on Mikoto's absence and on Meiya's questioning it's explained he apparently gets conscripted by his dad regularly to go adventure, which sounds pretty cool. Sumika spots a note in Mikoto's shoe cubby and p-kun takes it to read, so I guess I can add doesn't respect privacy to the list of things I have against him. Apparently some first year boy wrote Mikoto a love letter which is honestly SUPER romantic but because Japan only recognizes two sexualities, straight and fetish, this revelation is met with some light homophobia and the scene concludes.
Best character Takahashi comes back for a painfully short minute of dialogue and the group is off in the megasine home. Apparently my boy Takahashi is researching some kind of high speed theory so he's got brains AND looks which is just amazing. The group discovers a lot of vans outside p-kun's place which turn out to be full of... well literally the entire neighborhood's worth of people. Apparently everyone is moving away, that kinda sucks, property value is going to go down here, better tell dad, he might not be too happy to find out he just lost a couple grand on his "biggest investment." p-kun's a little suspicious but Meiya waves him off. Sumika asks to wake p-kun the next day and the scene ends.
The following morning p-kun wakes up alone, the scene is silent, not even any background music as he stands up. He checks the room for Meiya, but doesn't find her before noticing a strange new door in his bedroom wall. The novel makes a joke about flags, gotta admit I'm liking the soft meta humor approach. Then suddenly tits. Like full on Meiya's taking off her shirt, no bra, tits. Insert escalating quickly meme here.
After some quick advice from her aid Meiya screams and throws a clock at p-kun. I want to say he deserved it, but I'd open a strange door in my room that appeared one day without knocking too so he gets a pass. Maybe could have closed it a little quicker to save himself but NGL I'd probably be too stunned to move too.
Takahashi makes a brief cameo to reinforce his theory research so the reader can know it's important and it's off to school.
Theirs a CG of Kouzuki that I hate I have to remember exists. Basically the class is discussing Quantum Causality, which I guess is technically physics but come on what are you teaching these kids string theory? When in any reasonable setting will I need to go beyond 5 dimensions anyway let alone 14? Yes, cause and effect are a core idea in Physics, that's a given, but Bell's Theorem and general relativity are about as far as you need to go for a high school class don't waste my time on the 10v14 debate. And apparently this form isn't even in the book it's an original theory from the instructor which is SO not cool in a world of standardized tests.
I'd be remis if I didn't mention the Henyu but that's not important to the story.
p-kun, at a loss to answer a question, attempts to contact Mikoto telepathically, and actually manages to luck into his showing up. He's no help on the work but har har funny coincidence!
It's at this point in the narrative anyone who's already played Alternative will start having flashbacks.
Mikoto mentions how it feels like he hasn't seen p-kun in three years which is oddly specific but whatever. Honestly this whole scene is purposeful nonsense so ridiculous they reference Gouda again.
Skipping to Lunch time, Sumika brings two whole bento boxes she made so much which is like... still not a lot by American standards but I bet that's a lot in Japan. She opens them and... I have no idea what's going on. Apparently she made something called Manga-meat? Some legendary dream like something or other. Meiya made Sashimi from Salmon Parr which sounds dope, apparently only one out of every 15,000 salmon makes the cut for this type of meat. Sumika tries to guilt me into picking her meal but one in 15k sounds expensive as hell this is once in a lifetime. Why does the novel even give me the choice to flee who would pass this up?
Sumika is less graceful in defeat then Meiya but while she certainly didn't earn any points I won't take any off either she did make a meat that doesn't exist after all. p-kun even shares with Mikoto who is apparently going to just be a walking vehicle for jabs against homosexuals but this novel is almost two decades old so I guess that's expected.
Chizuru makes p-kun clean the room again before I get another choice. So soon? I just had one of these. I guess I'll pick to just go home? No real reason to go behind the school or loiter p-kun isn't cool enough for that. p-kun runs into Mikoto and the rivals for his stomach waiting for him outside the school so I guess I picked right if I found where the plot is at. Mikoto wants to go play Valgern-On, that game from the prologue, and the girls are coming just because. Up for a minigame I'm pretty stoked about the idea.
At the train station Meiya makes a comment about how being poor at math would make her a bad Japanese citizen. Help me out here, is that a thing? Like is being good at algebra a point of pride in Japan? More so then other subjects? I've never heard of this before. Apparently Meiya has lived in 32 nations which is pretty impressive. My Grandfather traveled the world to a similar degree learning languages, I can admire being well traveled.
At the "Gamu Center" Meiya comments on the full emersion seats as appearing like military equipment, which I guess is kind of accurate, I mean from my understanding they are functionally the same as flight simulators which are used by militaries. p-kun sits down in a chair and suddenly everything is in English. The screen changes to look like a game display screen and I can only imagine this must be pretty jarring for a native Japanese speaker rather then a welcome distraction for myself. I like how the voice mispronounces the planet name.
Anyway I'm hit with three choices in a row asking for tactics on how to proceed in the fight. I'm going to be forced to see this minigame a half dozen more times so sorry if this spoils the surprise but you lose almost every time. Oddly enough the path to victory is to pick the last option in every choice here but I'm pretty sure all the rest of them lead to you being defeated. I didn't get how this foreshadows Alternative until I literally typed it out here but that's a conversation for a later time.
Somehow even this small victory is too much for the novel to let p-kun have so in the next scene it's added he lost his next two games but I know I won the game that mattered so so be it. Mikoto crushes the dream of mecha fans by pointing out that bipedal locomotion would be a nightmare and yeah, he's right. Not sure when I'll have the opportunity to talk about the absurdity of giant mecha robots as a VN reviewer but I'm sure theirs an example out there somewhere in this genre. If you guys know any feel free to recommend one maybe I'll get to it after this series.
Anyway back to what's relevant everyone within a kilometer of p-kun's house shows up to tell him they're moving away and give him farewell gifts. Nice gesture but dude I don't know you people you didn't have to bother. I notice in the background someone left the lights on down the street, hope that's not still being charged to them electricity in Japan is expensive. p-kun runs inside to confront Maiya but catches her changing again which brings up the question why was she changing out of her casual cloths earlier? wasn't she going to class in her uniform in the next scene? And wait a minute how is she changing out of her casual cloths now! She was just in her uniform why take that off just to put on your comfy stuff and take THAT off! you're just wasting your time lady.
Meiya throws a baseball at him. Honestly though she should learn to wear a bra.
Sumika mentions through the window after scolding him that she'd probably let p-kun watch her change which is... kinda creepy. I mean whatever if voyeurism is your kink no judgment but who just says that to their best friend you know? It wasn't even in a joking tone. She talks about her diary, the same one from the prologue I'm guessing, apparently she's never missed a day which is a damn achievement good for her. She asks p-kun to take the chain lock off his front door, something that has stymied her the past few days, and he agrees, which I guess is kind of sweet.
That night he has a dream about LITTLE, TINY CUTE SUMIKA AND SHE'S JUST FRIGGEN ADORABLE! Gosh I did not expect to find her so cute. She's… waiting for sandy claws... to bring her a present, because he skipped her, and wow why is this suddenly so sad? She stayed up all night to thank him and p-kun tells her she's a bad girl for staying up and she starts to friggen cry but little p-kun gives her a little Santa rabbit and convinces her Santa will still bring her something and runs home to get her a present and WHAT WENT WRONG IN THIS CHILD'S LIFE? Why did you turn out to be so terrible in high school that was like the sweetest thing ever? Oh my god that was so cute!
Sumika comes to wake him up the next morning but she just throws him out of bed and tells him to follow her. Apparently some huge construction sight sprung up in the night next door. I'm more impressed then anything personally, wouldn't that make a ton of noise? Meiya left for school early and Tsukuyomi is yelling on her phone about some stupid kids so Sumika and p-kun just go ahead and leave for school. p-kun notices Sumika's rabbit again and remembers how his parents bought Sumika a stuffed copyrighted character for Christmas, not as cute as if he bought it for her but close enough.
WE SPEND AN AWFUL LOT OF TIME IN CLASS IN THIS NOVEL DON'T WE?
Math class today is self-study, which I always felt was the worst, I mean who wants to just sit there doing problems all period? God I'm so glad I never have to take another math class as long as I live. Speaking of which I get a choice for who to pawn my work off onto. Sumika, who p-kun already bulled into doing half. Meiya, who has no need to even be in this class so probably isn't even DOING the work. Tama, for some ungodly reason. and Kei, who p-kun has barely spoken to and isn't even on a first name bases with... yeah I'm screwed. I guess Meiya is the right choice? She at least seems smart enough to HELP.
p-kun calls her smart and she blushes which is adorable, glad I picked this option just for that. Except no apparently the thing that made her blush was being called dude... weird chick. She goes on to say she's never been addressed that informally before by anyone but her own father which is a GUTWRENCHING sentence that just gets worse after her romance route so that's fun. I take it back this choice's pain was immeasurable and my playthrough is ruined.
Looking to Chizuru for help and getting none as she's apparently in high demand p-kun gives up and goes to sleep because somehow THAT is supposed to endear me to him. He wakes to find he had his paper turned in blank and Chizuru is furious but the bum deserves it so no sympathy from me. Apparently Tama is kinder then I am though because she agrees to help him steal his paper back by... I don't know being cute in the staff room? I'm just not sure how well this plan was thought through. Apparently p-kun also stole Sumika's paper too which, spoilers again, means that's the romance route I'm on. Poor girl, I tried to steer him right I really did, guess you're just doomed.
Melancholy at that p-kun returns to the classroom for lunch before being flattened by a cloud of dust storming through the hall, and then the other way, and then he's accosted by three midgets in fetish wear. They insult him, threaten him, and speak in a foreign language from some imperialist country. They run off calling for Meiya after p-kun gives them directions before jumping out a window. Not bad, little unnecessarily flashy but not bad.
So for lunch today Sumika brought a full Udon setup, hot plate and all. Which I have to admit is impressive, I mean she carried that shit up a huge hill to get here that must have sucked. P-kun seems uninterested and admittedly it doesn't sound fantastic or anything but damn you just have to admire that girl's commitment. Apparently Meiya went with Jinhua ham, google tells me that's only a few hundred dollars though so not as impressive to me as her previous attempts. Guess today is kind of a slow one. I'm given an option to eat both, which I predict and am right in assuming means putting the pork in the stew Sumika was going to make, and I like that option better then the two mediocre ones I have otherwise so let's do that.
The music changes as it's revealed Sumika added steak sauce, Tabasco, and wasabi, which is a crime against food worthy of the death penalty. p-kun agrees and flees when he's served for a substitute carton of banana chocolate milk, which honestly sounds delicious why is that not American yet is it because fruit? Stupid fat America hating fruit. I get the option to go to the roof, the prep room, or the courtyard to hunt for food. Probably not going to find anything on the roof at this school and the prep room sounds like a recipe for seeing the devil again so I guess courtyard it is!
I immediately regret this choice as p-kun ends up bumming food from poor Chizuru who suffers more then enough of him in class and now must deal with him even during her brief moment of respite. The scene is at least short, apparently Chizuru makes her own lunches and p-kun owes her one now. Sucks for him but that's probably for the best. Hopefully she puts it to good use and gets him to stop being such a baby. p-kun sneaks' off to return his and presumably Sumika's worksheet before running into Sumika and Meiya in the hall. In a nice bit of sound design Sumika's voice is made softer to show she's father away and I know that's a really small detail but most VNs wouldn't even bother so I'm going to point it out anyway.
Meiya was interested in observing the Lacrosse and Archery teams after having seen Tama head to the range and Chizuru off to Lacrosse. I get to choose which, and given I just bothered Chizuru earlier and watching Tama do archery sounds interesting, we'll do that one. The swish and stick of an arrow can be heard, another nice sound design touch, and Meiya comments on the beauty of Kyujitsu. Tama is the one shooting, She looks really focused until she notices p-kun and suddenly becomes terrible. She blushes so hard her whole face turns red and she questions why the three non-club members are here. Meiya apologizes for disturbing her and Tama denies observers are a bother even as she trembles. The two talk shop for awhile. As a military historian, I personal wish they went into some more detail but that would probably bog things down.
Tama says her father teaches her archery at their home archery range, which is pretty awesome. I mean I'D have no use for one but it's cool that she does. Apparently her dad is ranked really highly in some archery ranking... thing, so she uses a style that isn't common for the school. Nifty. Tama doesn't handle praise well but she gets some cute faces in and looks kind of mature with her hair pulled back in a sock and her cloths all official. The group leaves Tama to practice and decides to head home. Best boy Takahashi is waiting for them. This time he gets to give his backstory about being a cool speed racer, and his father was a romantic, and his name is like a whole sentence long in English, and he used to be all charismatic and infamous and he lets everyone call him his first name, and I have to stop I'm drooling a bit he's so hot...
The gang is driven home but everything outside the windows looks oddly flat. Turns out Meiya had the whole neighborhood flattened to build a giant mansion, like probably at least 10 stories tall. all that's left behind is Takeru and Sumika's houses and that stupid neighborhood park. p-kun is less then pleased. Perhaps finally seeing how incredibly weird all this is he tries to ask Meiya why she came to live with him but she evades. Sumika suggests that maybe p-kun is some kind of important person which I can only hope isn't true. If this guy is the chosen one we all better get used to living under our evil overlord and hope whoever it is doesn't eat us or something.
p-kun goes to his room only to be greeted by the three ninja midgets. Tsukuyomi lays the smack down on them and informs them they have to serve p-kun from now on for being rude to him earlier and the images that flooded my mind of the depraved things they are no doubt going to be forced into means this is where we're stopping for today.
GOD I HOPE THE PLOT STARTS SOON THIS KIND OF MOE IS JUST TORTURE, AND I LIKE MOE STUFF
By technicality it's possible at this point to piece together the rest of Extra from the information you have but that's not exactly an easy task. Part 4 I'll be starting the plot point that came to define Extra in people's minds as well as gloss over some really important details that future novels will latch onto but because they aren't important here I don't really have much reason to call them out. I'll mention them, but don't expect me to linger and give away the surprises. Admittedly, having read the whole series it's going to be weird seeing these events from the other side again, but in a good way I think. Part 4 will center around the full cast for the first time, and set the stage for pretty much everything to come, so be sure to come back this Saturday.
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2020.11.07 14:17 Anastales Free real voyeur
Hello! Thanks for checking out my post. I hope these can go to good homes!
• PayPal G&S only
• Shipping depends on what you get, but likely around $5, I’ll let you know
• Very happy to bundle and open to offers!
• Anything used will be sanitized to the best of my ability before shipment
Hank and Henry:
• Living in Color palette — $12
Brand new and unswatched, no box. Received it recently in a mystery box.
• Luster Dew Highlighter in Fairy Fly — $10
Brand new and unopened, in box. Also received in mystery box.
Lustre Dew Highlighter
• Eye Kit in El Jefe — $15
Opened and used once, bottom loose pearl shade will make a mess FYI
• Velvetines Lip Liner in Drew — $5
Brand new and unswatched, in box. Received recently in a mystery box.
• Softwear Blush in Flower.ai — $13
Brand new and unswatched, in box. Received in mystery box.
Lime Crime lipliner and blush
• Velvetine liquid lipstick in Beet It — $8
Brand new and unopened, received about a year ago.
• Velvetine liquid lipstick in Neptune — $12
Brand new and unopened, received recently in a mystery box.
Beet It and Neptune
• Perlees lipstick in Mirage — $5
Wet n Wild:
• Hooked on Vinyl palette — $2
Only the top transition shade was touched, almost brand new.
• Lights Out palette — $2
(I might have the name wrong)
Wet n Wild palettes
• Blush Colour Infusion blush in Sangria — $20
Brand new in box, swatched very lightly one time, bought back in June
Laura Mercier blush
(Apologies if the color looks off, I promise it’s uniform)
• Blueprint stack — $30
Black packaging, used once (only the blue shades)
• She’s in Parties stack — $25
• Lipsticks in Bane, Old Fashioned, On-The-Go and Voyeur — $6 each (or $20 for all four)
All used 1-3x
• Matte lipsticks in shades 04, 05 and 06 — $1 each
(forgot real names, but they’re pink, red and dark red)
• Matte Lux Lipstick in JV — $4
Used once, but broken at base
• Pretty Fresh Primer and Setting Spray — $6 each or $10 for both
Used a few times each
• Kat Von D mini lipstick in Crush — $2
• Bite Beauty mini lipstick in Honeycomb — $2
• Coloured Raine liquid lipstick in Royal — $10
Brand new and unswatched, but bought in 2018
$3-5 each or free with purchase! Just let me know which one
All have been purchased except for the Meow bag -- $2
Thanks for looking!
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2020.10.22 08:02 Caliponix Free real voyeur
I spent five years of my life in love with a predator. I question my judgement, with every encounter, because I know this snake got past it. I call him X.
I Loved Him. I felt soo lucky that he seemed interested in me, despite the ‘disadvantage’ of being 23 years younger than him. This wasn’t a trend in my life, I’d never dated someone remotely that far from my age range. It was something about X. I fell in love with his brain, his humor, the way my skin tingled when he touched me. For a while the chemistry was pure and electric.
There were issues, but they mostly seemed to come back at me. I was significantly less well off than X, he was a Dr. A well respected GP within his community. I was a single mother in my early 20s, and working at that time as a certified massage therapist. Daily life was a struggle for me, and X used money as a reason to withhold respect. If I wanted respect, I could be an equal contributor. Except he would always assure me that he knew I probably wouldn’t be able to make a comparable amount of money to him, he would accept it if I just achieved what he knew I was capable of. Because of how much he loved, and believed in me. Of course, getting a better job, rounding out my education, and raising my daughter were priorities for me, so him pushing me towards these things rang no alarms at the time.
I have spent most of my 20s trying to ‘Make It’. I’m 30 now. I didn’t ‘Make it’.
When X and I had been together about a year, when I was a 24 year old mother of 1, I learned that I had a genetic condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. The diagnosis was difficult to hear, but it clarified many of the unexplained health issues that had complicated my path to self sufficiency.
It was this diagnosis that led me to two, very painful, realizations. 1) I needed to retire from the career that was supporting my needs 2) I shouldn’t have any more children. For my health and theirs.
X was fine with us not planning to have children; he even got a vasectomy the following year. It was harder for me to accept. I had always hoped to have at least two children, I’m a middle child of four, and I wanted my daughter to have a sibling. It was a frequent subject of discussion for the year before his vasectomy, and even for some time after. I had a lot of trouble reconciling my understanding of my medical problems with my desires for the family I wanted to build.
X had 2 children of his own, a boy and a girl. Our kids were all 3 years apart, with my daughter being the youngest (*3yo at the start of our relationship). Neither he nor his children got on well with my daughter, despite me having a good relationship with both of his children. I couldn’t seem to get them to stop treating my daughter like an intruder, to give her the same latitude and understanding that they gave each other… I failed at communicating this, or preventing the bullying from affecting my daughter. I’ll carry the shame of that for the rest of my life. When my daughter comes to me about this one day, I’ll have no defense. Only apologies. She deserved so much better than that.
The really sad part is that I was convinced that she was still better off in that situation, than with me alone. I was so beaten down, so convinced of my own ineptitude. I relied on X to be the stability he said I lacked. At least she lived in a nice house, room to run and play safely, a tree-house to zip line off of (X and I spent 2 years building that), and chickens to chase. My daughter is just 10 now, and still has fond memories of that house, and the home we had there. I wonder when she’ll start to remember the bad. I’ll be here for her when she does.
INCIDENT: It was probably early fall, I can’t quite remember the exact details because this night was like so many others. Until it wasn’t. We had gone out to our hot tub, smoked some weed, X had a whisky and I had a hard cider. X had taken an Ambien right before getting into the hot tub, without planning to go to sleep, or telling me that he had taken a drug that impaired him to that degree. I don’t remember much about the conversation we’d had, but I do remember that I had to put a tampon in before getting in the hot-tub, since I was on the tail end of my period (Sorry TMI, but its relevant).
We came inside, toweled off, and were snacking away our munchies in the kitchen while family guy played on the TV in the living room. The open floor plan had the back of the main sofa parallel with the kitchen island, maybe 8 feet apart. Our heavy robes for walking in/outside were draped over the back of the couch, along with our clothes.
X was being sexual, groping me and manhandling me more than was typical even for him. I was beginning to sense that something was wrong. We were standing in front of the dishwasher; I had my back to the counter. We started to kiss, I tried to gently push him back from me, and he responded by grabbing me by the throat. He pushed me backwards quickly, with his body pressed against my legs holding them in place he forced my upper body straight back onto the counter. I was bent like an L over that counter backwards, I thought I had broken my spine, or ruptured a disc. After all, I could only go on the intensity of the pain I was feeling, which was extreme. I cried out “PANDA!!!” which while ridiculous, was also my safe word. He ignored it.
I began to scream, frantic shrieks of pain. At first X looked annoyed, but then he started to laugh. He pulled me down from the counter and dropped me to the floor facedown. I was still screaming. I was Begging him for help, while he watched me writhe. He told me to Shut Up. He kept laughing at me the whole time. Insulting me… for my low pain tolerance I guess. I slowly began to pull myself away from him, towards to sofa in the living room. Mostly I was dragging myself by my arms, as my legs were seized up and numb still from the trauma to my spinal column. I can’t remember everything he said, I only remember feeling increasing dread when he finally walked over to me. I wasn’t sure what was about to happen.
He reached down and pulled me up by my right wrist, and tossed me facedown over the back of the couch. My face was buried in the back of the brown suede seat, and I could feel X behind me, pressed against my butt, hard. He slapped my behind several times, very hard and then he was clearly about to start having sex with me. All the while I’m saying No No No over and over again, Panda, over and over again. At one point, right before he was about to enter I almost got him to stop, I cried “I’ve got a tampon in!” I felt his pause. Then he laughed again, and said he didn’t care. He entered me. Despite the waterlogged tampon in the way he just plugged away. It hurt very much. Sex was painful for weeks after that, but X seemed oblivious as to why my vag might need a @#%ing break. He didn’t apologize that I recall, or bring it up. I certainly didn’t. I kept my head down, worked my two jobs and juggled full time college courses. Dying inside. Being the best girlfriend he didn’t deserve, so that I could protect the life I had built for myself and my daughter.
INCIDENT: Nov 5-19th continuous It began just after election night. I got sick, very sick, while I was at my campus taking one of my classes. X and his kids had to come and pick me up because I wasn’t able to drive. He was very put out about it all, it was an inconvenience to him. I spent the next week with a rising fever, constant vomiting, a headache that’s close cousins with a hatchet, and body aches with chills fit to shatter me apart. I medicated for my symptoms, Tylenol, ibuprofen, all the standard stuff, which of course I had on hand living with an M.D. X kept a pharmacy in his walk in closet and under the sink. I tried to take care of myself, because DR X wanted nothing to do with me.
He felt I was ‘too upset’ about the election. It was nbd that Trump was setting down the path that led to HERE (10/21/2020). This was his justification for ignoring me while I wilted away. Sunday he left me alone, with all three children and informed me that it was my job to supervise them through all their Sunday chores while he was out. Never mind that I wound up chasing those cats until sanity demanded that I take a break from puking so I could do their chores myself. That way X wouldn’t come down on me for them not being done. I don’t know how I did it. He came home at the kids’ bedtime, and didn’t express any concern for me. It was Monday night when I took my temperature, it was 104.4 F.
I knew I was in serious trouble. X was out with his son, and his daughter with her mother, so I called a friend to take me to an urgent care. They transported me to a nearby hospital where I stayed for a week while under treatment for an aggressive kidney infection. It had been difficult to diagnose initially, because of my medical history with kidney infections, I’m generally pretty sure when I have one. But this sneaky bugger was asymptomatic, so I just thought I had a WICKED FLU that I needed to wait out.
X showed up 2x while I was in the hospital. Once the night I was admitted, to bring me a few things (*I think? Can’t really remember what happened that night, I was delirious), he didn’t hang around long. The next time was to pick, me up, the following Friday afternoon. I thought maybe he’d feel badly about how he’d treated me the week before, as I’d been getting sicker. He did initially, I thought. He wanted me to come with him, he said, to a friend’s house for a barbeque.
He’d been invited, and he’d been so busy all week and hadn’t had any time for HIM. “So it would mean so much if we could do this together, baby, please?” It turns out this friend was someone I’d met before, and didn’t have a great relationship with. I’d mostly been able to deescalate and stay chill around this guy, but he’s a real life troll who loves ticking people off, so it was a real struggle. It didn’t help that his relationship with his longtime girlfriend was one of the most obviously abusive relationships I’d ever seen. His name was Greg.
After attempting to get him to go on his own, let me stay home and rest (I was still sick, just well enough finally to leave the hospital). He insisted, he wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself if he went and left me home. It was key for his enjoyment that I be present. I wasn’t sure why at the time. I knew what would happen if I insisted on staying home. He would pout the whole night, and whine about how he couldn’t have any fun because he was busy being the BEST GUY EVER and tolerating my preferences. It would be less trouble I thought, to tolerate Greg for a few hours. Get some ground made up with X, let him know his needs were important to me. He claimed constantly that no one worried about his needs, they just expected him to fill theirs. He had been distant, and cruel. He was being nice to me right then, and I didn’t want it to change. I had felt so alone in the hospital, so ill for so long, I just wanted to be happy with my boyfriend for the time being. So.. off we went to Gregory’s house.
It was a long drive, about 45 minutes. We listened to music and talked about nothing, it was nice. As we were winding the long dirt road that was Greg’s driveway X casually tossed out: “Hey, just so you know, Greg is really happy about the election. Turns out he’s a huge Trump guy.” JUST F#$*ING GREAT
I generally prefer to avoid conflict. Its one of my chief character traits/flaws, and X was in no way ignorant of how stressful I would find this situation. I had brought along a book, and told him I planned to keep to myself and read my book. I wasn’t interested in engaging with Greg this way. But it was too late to back out, the drive was too long and I’d come in X’s car. I was stuck, and he knew it.
Greg started in on me right away. He basically ignored X and focused all his efforts on taunting the SJW snowflake millennial. I tried to ignore his baiting, and be civil, but indicate that I preferred to read my book, not talk about politics. He ignored this and instead grilled my awareness of Alt-right talking points against the Clintons. This went on for hours. I kept my cool for a long time. I tried to argue with facts, and not be diverted by his many attempts to bait me.
In order to gain some brief respite I wound up volunteering to cook dinner for everyone, since Greg’s browbeaten girlfriend couldn’t seem to figure out what would make ‘the men’ happy. She was so relieved when I offered; she scampered off to watch true c rime while I made Sloppy Joes, mac’n cheese, and a Caesar Salad. Greg showed up once the plates hit the table, tucked in and started straight back on politics.
I admit, I knew when I said that Trump’s history as a chauvinist and alleged Rapist made him unfit for office that I would strike a nerve. Turns out it was Greg’s Hulk Button. He literally turned purple defending Trump(?)’s relationships with women. It was at this point that true insults, no longer disguised thinly as jokes began to fly between Greg and I. X NEVER OPENED HIS MOUTH. He just Watched.
After a few moments of escalating screaming, I left Greg’s home and went outside to wait for X, so we could leave. X didn’t come out for almost half an hour. He told me later that he was trying to calm down Greg, he felt bad that I’d upset him.
As we drove off in silence, one question kept coming up in my mind, and finally I asked him: “Why did you want me to come? Didn’t you know this would happen?” “No!” he insisted “I just thought it would be funny, give you a chance to rip into a trump guy, right?” “You know I hate conflict in general, and arguing with stupid people in specific! How could you think this was ok?” I never got an adequate answer from him. He usually claims ignorance of the potential outcome. If that’s true, then he’s a lot less smart than he likes to assert. I spent the next few days resting at home, doing my best to avoid him, and the inevitable conflict that would follow.
INCIDENT: Spring 2017 Another incident with a friend of X’s. His name is Ted. Ted comes over to our house one day and starts playing the Libertarians favorite game: bait the libtard (his words)
I’m trying to be a good hostess, fetching drinks and politely listening to this man explain away societies problems based on his experiences as a ‘self made career military man’. Dude fixes Blackhawk helicopters. He’s in his sixties, I think. X sat there, while Ted talked about the wage gap being a figment of the liberal imagination. Women and men get paid the same for the same work, period. This was his stance, and X replies “Yeah, I don’t know any female Dr’s who make less than me, if they work as hard.”
I was stunned. Not only was this a**hole in my house spouting chauvanist BS--Ugh, sorry, this still steams me up..—X was agreeing with him, supporting his arguments. I was so angry, but felt outnumbered so I opted to retreat. I left the house and went for a cigarette. When I came back Ted was getting on his motorcycle and left. He was so shaken by the whole interaction he wrecked a few miles away, luckily sustaining only minor injuries. I was blamed for this by X. But we didn’t know that Yet.
We began to argue heatedly, I was angry and hurt that he had sided with Ted on this Factually documented issue in our society. When I brought this up, he insisted he was as Woke as Woke Gets, and if I really loved him I would know that of course he supports women’s rights, black rights, trans rights, gay rights.. until one of his friends disagrees. Then his views magically shift to line up with all these right wing conservative libertarian guys, which seemed to compromise about 60% of his friend group.
The fight got more heated. I tried to leave, to cool off, and X insisted I needed to stay, to work things out. We were in our bedroom, and he blocked my access to the door. I was overwrought and coming undone, I wanted nothing more in that moment than to get away from him. He grabs my arms above the elbows and wrestles me to the ground. I writhed, trying to get away. My left elbow was ground into the carpet repeatedly, and I have the scars of blotches on my arm 3 years later where they were skinned.
I was blamed for this. I was blamed for ‘ruining our date night’ because I had an issue with something totally unimportant. I’d over reacted. He convinced me that I had. I could only push so far before the knowledge that my ability to provide a home for my daughter hinged on this relationship working. No way could I afford a place on my own on one salary, let alone one fit to share with my then six year old. We went on our date night that night, a group dinner with many of his friends. He didn’t speak to me the whole evening, barely even on the ride home. That was how he acted after he got his way. To really hammer home that it wasn’t worth it for me to take any issue, with anything he said or did. I think that was the day I realized I had to leave him. It would take time, and I needed a plan.
EXODUS: I spent 2 months looking for a place to live, searching for new jobs, new options. In July I went to a protest on Monument Avenue in Richmond, and there I ran into some old friends, people I hadn’t hung out with since I met X. For the first time in a long time, I was social with someone other than HIS friends, or people at my work or school. I was a very busy person, always going. I’d spent 5 years getting more and more isolated. The floodgates opened, and I told them what was happening. They helped me coordinate, and find a place that I could move to inside of the week. I had a plan; my dad was even flying out to help me move. X still didn’t know.
This was something I struggled with a lot, I felt dishonest, which I suppose is accurate. I lied to him, told him everything was OK. I was withdrawn, and quiet, but mostly focused on not rocking the boat before I could spring my plan into action. I didn’t want to emotionally scar my daughter, so I prepared her, and her father agreed to keep her with him until I made the switch. X was relieved to have time without her around, he didn’t question it.
Just three days before my dad was going to fly in, I was sleeping in my daughter’s bed (for privacy and safety), and was awoken by X, screaming in my face. He’d opened up my phone and gone through my texts, found out what I was planning, and lost his freaking mind. He couldn’t believe that I’d lied to him about wanting to work on our relationship when I was planning to bounce. I told him it was because of this kind of reaction from him that I’d kept the secret. He was flabbergasted, I remember him saying that he –“can’t believe You would ever leave ME, you promised me you’d NEVER leave!”
That really took me aback. I felt a well of guilt, because I HAD promised him that. Then I remembered, I made that promise before he violently raped me. Then I felt less guilt. I told him in no uncertain terms that I was done with him, and he was the reason why. That he’s the demon that haunts my dreams now. When I left following this confrontation, he was throwing my stuff after me, telling me that my life would fall apart without him.
I really wanted him to be wrong. I wish he had been wrong. More than anything, I wish this were the end of the story.
SPIRALLING: For awhile things were ok, I was working multiple jobs, and was able to meet my expenses, and take care of my daughter. The place I was living was 90 min from God and Everywhere, but it was rent free, so that balanced a lot. Then, my health began to spiral. I was in and out of the ER multiple times, and my mental state was beginning to show cracks. Anxiety and depression were ruling my whole life, and I was a wreck. My physical health was what made it all go pear shaped though. I lost two jobs in one week, because of health related issues. I was Fainting, vomiting, etc. It makes you an unreliable employee, dontcha know? So, suddenly money was a serious problem, and the cracks in my mental state turned into the Grand FREAKING Canyon. Straight up, I had a mental breakdown. My best efforts had failed. X had been right. I was a failure. My daughter deserved better than me. At this time she started staying more with her father, and I would visit her there. I didn’t feel capable anymore, I was broken.
Then, there was this day, where my friend had kindly offered to let me stay at his house while I tried to snap myself out of it. I climbed into the shower.. and I didn’t leave it for almost three days. I just cried. Constantly.
In a moment of weakness, I reached out to X, whom I had totally cut off contact with several months before. He was doing great! He’d started going to therapy, and meditating every day. Really ‘worked’ on himself. He seemed like a totally different man than the one I’d left the year before. I began to wonder if I’d made a mistake.
X spent a lot of time with me for the next few weeks, trying to help me put myself back together. I was very near the danger zone… mentally speaking, and I felt a lot of gratitude to him for helping me out of my spiral.
Now, lets fast forward to August 2019. I had moved from my home on the east coast out to AZ to be closer to my dad. My daughter is currently living overseas with her father (who has been supportive throughout this process) and thriving. I am somehow able to better serve her as her mother from a distance, we talk every day, discuss life and difficulties. Its not ideal, but in the times of Covid, I’m just glad that she’s somewhere safe.
Now, this was right after she’d left the country, and the situation was still fresh. I was lonely, and sad. I missed my daughter. I’d had her with me every single day for a year, and suddenly, poof, she’s gone.
X calls me, and says he has plans to go to Dragon Con in Atlanta, just like he and I had done together the last four years. He wants me to go with him. Offers to buy my ticket and take care of the plane, he insisted he wouldn’t have any fun there if I wasn’t with him. I decided that it would be a good distraction, which I needed at that point. I thought, after a full year of weekly therapy and daily meditation and self reflection, as well as many discussions with me regarding the abuse he committed against me while we were together. He seemed to truly have internalized what I’d told him, and done the work to address his behaviors. I felt safe to go. Surely, things would be different now. I feel like such an idiot.
At first, things were mostly ok. We walked around the booths, saw famous people, smoked, and hung out with people that we’d met there over the years. One such man was Justin. I’d only met him one other year, and hadn’t spent much time around him before this. However, this time, he was in the room next door to ours, so the run ins and hang outs were more frequent. He, X and I spent most of the weekend together going around the Con. Saturday night, while riding up the Marriott elevator to our rooms, Justin casually mentioned that if we ever wanted a partner for a 3 way, he would be down.
At first I thought he was joking, and then X looked at me. Grinned and winked. This wouldn’t be a first for us, he has a voyeurism thing, and I have an ‘I like good sex’ thing. We chatted about it briefly before realizing we were all very much down for this. We spent the entire next day and a good chunk of the night in bed. Not gonna go into detail there, sorry.
Ok, I do have to go into some detail, very minor. While the three of us had been mutually involved all day, it turned out that the pairing that ended the session was Justin and I. By the end of it I was so sore, unless you have lady parts I don’t know how to convey how tender and raw my insides felt after this MARATHON session of really lovely sex. Some of it was even with X.
Justin packs up to leave in the morning, the con is over, and the mass exodus of nerds has begun. Our hotel checkout isn’t until the afternoon, X plans to drop me off at the airport before beginning his drive home. Once Justin goes, X tells me that before I leave, he wants us to have sex one more time. I told him I was in too much pain, No. I was pretty firm on that point. He told me that after paying for everything, including my plane home, he wanted to be the last penis inside me, and since it was so important to his emotional state he contended that I should just lay back and think of England. So, that’s exactly what happened. It was excruciating. I thought about it the entire plane ride home. My dad was so mad that I had gone on the trip with X in the first place that he and his wife stopped talking to me when I came back. I mean, they were right. I couldn’t tell them what had happened. It’s my own fault, right? My own shitty judgment.
He didn’t really change. His feelings (a.k.a: dick) were more important than my physical pain.
I don’t know why I didn’t cut him off right then.
We were in contact fairly frequently over the last year. We are not together, but X tries to maintain that connection with me. Saying I’m free to date who I want, obviously, but wait, who are you going out with? Will there be men there? Do they have PENISES??? I’m exaggerating, ok. Let’s just say he was hyper aware of the potential of me meeting someone else. He would talk about the singularness of our love, how nothing else could compare. He constantly brought up the idea that we would end up together, once our kids were grown and his parents die he’s pretty sure that’s all our relationship issues dealt with. I usually responded tepidly. I told him I didn’t think that was likely, that we broke up for damn good reasons. None of that ever stuck to his Teflon brain. I felt like I still needed him. I don’t really get why. Part of it is defiantly medical. I’ve relied on his help for way too long. In a world with unreliable insurance coverage knowing a Dr can save you a pretty penny. But I realized, recently, that knowing him is a stone around my neck. I’ve gone no contact. I hope it’s for the last time.
Unless there is some way for me to force him to face some accountability for this shit, I never want to speak to him again. I thought he’d changed, I thought maybe I’d helped make him a better man. I didn’t, I just made him a better manipulator.
ISMS: X- “The Safest place for you is Right next to Me.” “You know, you take this for granted, but I’m in this because I LOVE you, not because I’m worried about where I’m gonna live, or if I can keep custody of my kids! I’m in this because I Value You.” “WHAT?!-That was Rape??” “There’s nothing stopping you, you just need to try harder (subtext: Be More Like Me)
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2020.09.18 16:50 MansA18Sepl Free real voyeur
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2020.09.09 17:15 nick-a93 Abused and groomed online via webcam - realizations
I want to share my story. I'm mid 20 year old male who grew up online. I have a great family who has always taught me right vs wrong. However, when I was 11 years old, I found my way onto AIM chat rooms and started chatting with a "female" in her 30s.
I remember chatting with this person often. Being excited when my parents would leave the house or go to the other room so I could masturbate for this person on camera. I remember not even being able to ejaculate because I was so young. I know they exchanged photos with me. I have a feeling they shared abusive photos with me which to me at the time were kids my age. I never realized the damage it caused me until recently.
It led me down the path of a destructive porn addiction. For the past 2 years, I've been trying to get this under control. And ultimately, some things made their way into my real life like voyeurism. This led to a lot of shame and guilt which I live with. About 3 months ago, I was living with my now ex-girlfriend. We decided to do mushrooms for a second time with some friends. At one point, I went into our kitchen and everything got very dark. The guilt of me looking at someone without their consent consumed me and my guard was completely shattered. My emotions hit me. I couldn't tell my GF at the moment because she didn't know about anything and her friends were there. I told her the following day about everything and she was very supportive. The mushroom trip changed my entire life, I really couldn't believe it.
Fast forward to now. I had been jumping from therapist to therapist until I found one who I really like. At $200/session, it's a lot but I know it's what's right. My ex broke up with me last month and I moved out. It was rough. I realized that my stress, anxiety, stubbornness, and reaction are all due to my self-hatred caused by my addiction and abuse. I also realized, I was putting so much unnecessary stress on myself. So I left my job, started to take care of myself, and have been porn and masturbation free for 3 months now. This hasn't been easy. I definitely miss the support of a significant other.
I am now at the point where I want to make others aware of the abuse that plagues the internet and the world. The cycle is endless. It's happening daily and I've seen others on here talk about how it's affected their lives. The blackmail, fear, and harm it continues to cause. I have told my family about most of my story. And I want to share it with everyone I can because I think people turn a blind eye to it.
Anyways, thank you to everyone on here sharing what you're going through. This stuff isn't easy. I am so grateful to be facing it at this age. I have a lot of love to give and with the changes I'm making, I'm looking forward to the future.
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