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2018.12.15 04:45 CurmudgeonlyBlaggart You and me baby ain't nothin but mammals

Discussion of dating, relationships and the single life with people 40+. Please be civil.

2020.11.26 10:10 seanny333 I LOVE Camming and All of You!

So I just wanted to come on here from a place of joy to let everyone know how thankful I am (just in time for Thanksgiving lol) to have such a supportive community who demonstrates kindness and comeradery all throughout.
I have been camming for about 2 weeks, having done 9 shows so far. I have built a following full of people who adore me and two of them have been on literally every single show since the start. I made way more money than I had originally anticipated, gotten a following faster than I thought, and am feeling way more confident about myself, headstrong, and resilient.
Camming has made me feel empowered, creative, sexy, and energetic. Even on slow nights, I consider myself privileged to be able to make ANY money at all from something that feels way more like play than work. Not to mention, every night brings me something new. On a night that I might not make too much money, I may double my following. On a night that I don't see my following go up, I may make new friends in my chat who seem to take a genuine interest in me.
Furthermore, I am no longer considered "new," and so the promotional bump is no longer a thing. Right when that happened, my StripScore, tip count, and number of people in my room plummeted instantly. I wanted to give up and shut my cam off right way, but I persevered. I went to sleep angry, but woke up telling myself that I CAN DO THIS. And then tonight, I did. Even without the "NEW" tag, I still managed to have my third best night yet.
Lastly, I just wanted to thank all of you for making me feel so welcomed and supported the past couple of weeks. I've been dedicated and working my ass off to kickstart my camming brand and it looks like it is paying off. I know I will still have slow nights and I am prepared to experience failure and possibly going an entire night without getting tipped. But I couldn't have done this without the wildly encouraging efforts by the people of this subreddit. I know I'm rambling, but I just wanted to let you all know how pleasantly surprised I am that my fellow virtual sex workers are the opposite of what society paints you (well, now "us") as. If anyone wants to dm me so we can exchange ideas, get to know each other, or just chat about camming, feel free!
If you are new to camming like me, please don't give up! The opportunity is too good to pass up.
TL;DR: I just finished my second full week camming and I am beyond happy with how things are going. Thank you to everyone for a surprising amount of support. If you're new like me, keep going!
Happy Thanksgiving my fellow cam models!
Edit: I fixed a few typos.
submitted by seanny333 to CamGirlProblems [link] [comments]

2020.11.25 00:02 ICouldStayABitLonger Chat free sex full

I'm going to keep trying..
Refreshingly different, honest, sensitive but strong, well-educated, and loving. Lonely, in pain, and in need of someone who actually cares. Seeking to love deeply and be deeply loved. Kiss. Cuddle. Play. Explore. Share. Pleasure. Excite.
I hope to share my life with a wonderful woman. Share my playlists. My favorite movies. Play bad guitar for you. Show you my art (and even draw portraits of you). Talk science and whatever else. Do puzzles and play games. Drink coffee and chat. Smile together. Kiss and cuddle. Make crazy hot love. Drive you wild with my inherit sexiness (kavorka!). Go dancing and dining. Hold and be held. Create new memories and talk about the past. Find out about you and your life. Tell you about my life. Cook us nice meals. Volunteer together. Make a difference together. Change the world together.
I'm a writer, science educator, geographer, mapmaker, artist, dabbling musician, and educational game designer. Very creative, passionate, introspective, calm, and full of plans for a bright future. I'm deeply intelligent and well-educated. Politically liberal. Non-smoker, DDF, light drinker. No ex-gf baggage, no kids, never married. INFJ. Old soul (I think). Sensitive. Strong. Lonely.
Looking for a sexy (in every way) woman: Non-smoker, no drugs, liberal/progressive, drama-free, all around awesome, funny, fun, good-natured, sensual, open-minded, interesting, intelligent, educated, and just plain cool.
I'm hoping to find someone who is patient, who loves great conversation, and isn't afraid to open herself to real feelings and love. Someone who is not afraid to show her genuine depth and open her beautiful soul.. is deeply intelligent, educated, kind, loving and fun.. is beautiful in every way.. is light-hearted and has a sense of humor. Who can converse about intelligent topics.. is eager to share her life and love.. who doesn't mind me calling her on her s**t, if she'll call me on mine (nicely, of course).
My loves and simple pleasures:
Reading. Writing. Teaching. Learning. Cooking. Good food. Science. Astronomy. Chemistry. Physics. Mathematics. Geography. Creating art. Drawing. Painting. Designing games. Playing games. Fiddling with computers. Electronics. Making maps. Reading maps. Languages. Movies. Music. Singing. Dancing. Puzzles. Walking/hiking. Purring cats with soft tummies. Snuggling. Cold days. Snow. Love. Intimacy. Live music. Cozy coffeehouses. Bookstores. Exploring the city. Being close. Kissing. Cuddling. Great sex. Connecting on a soul level. Deep conversations. Kindness. Compassion. Playing guitar and piano. Coffee. Tea. Cheesecake. Ice cold beer. Hot pizza. Tofu and broccoli with rice. Egg foo yung. Low Country boil. Scallops. Indian buffets. Dim sum.
Pie. I like pie.
Conversation starters:
I love to cook! What would you like me to make for you? What is your favorite dessert?
I love bookstores! What is your favorite book section?
I love movies, especially comedies, touching dramas, sci-fi, and rom-coms! What are your top ten movies?
What kind of music do you like? Top ten favorite artists and/or bands?
My favorite world cuisines are Indian, Thai, Greek, Chinese, and Japanese. What are yours?
At my sister's wedding
Making quesadillas at work
Waiting for a train..
submitted by ICouldStayABitLonger to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]

2020.11.24 16:47 beaniemoo Full chat free sex

Every guild has a history. Avoid watching videos if you're eating/drinking. You're welcome.
A little too much about us

  • Our guild started with 4 loners doing drunk Dragon's Stand, got caught up in guild politics. We got hurt, left, then went our own ways till I got sick of flicking my bean alone. So I turned my personal bank into this mess. It was just a few weeks before PoF release, but a year later, we climaxed at level 69 and located at Windswept Haven. Our guild hall is beautifully decorated for max efficiency when it comes to daily harvesting. The hall is also boasted with subtle landmarks from different generations of players who have been groomed here before they moved on to other top tier guilds.
  • If some skip getting laid to join a specific guild event, you know how much Intense Pleasure we’re pumping. (Spoiler alert! He still got laid after we discussed all the possible excuses. Win win~). This post gonna be slong. If you don’t read and swallow it all, you clearly don’t deserve us cuz spitters are quitters >:]
  • We have 2/3 inactive, it’s that time to refresh our roster with fresh meat. We tend to keep our medium girth for ultimate satisfaction, minus any complication. Size matters sometimes. TL;DR skim through bold texts for our main info. Requirements for Potential Members and time table waist down below.
  • The guild will not only be a home for me and my homies, but also for filthy casuals and drama free folks. You want to get online and enjoy every a$$ pecks of the game, minus drama? You’ve come to the right place, my friend. Why solo when you can have an extra hand for rubbing? Why run with people nagging like your co-workers? Or who treat this like a job? Why so serious? Come on now. The whole guild thing should be fun! The choice is in your hand. (Prefer a clean one cuz)
  • We're on the thick side, but not overly populated so we have a chance to get to know you from your head to your toe. Mmm We have players from Murica, Snow Mexican, Kiwi, Downlander, some in Pacific Ocean, lurkers from Europe, etc. The fact that people in remote areas try to bypass security to sneak in our Discord while at work; plus, the amount gamer gorls we have are big testaments for how fun we are as a guild. We want to revive that feeling every time we re-post our recruitment. We also make many discoveries that we're proud of. Like this. Or this
  • Our primary goal is to mentor new/returning players, and fuel some passion onto the vets. So we can get to know each other dirty little secrets better while giving back to the community. The more you know about the game, the more you can help yourself and others. This is from one guildie, quoted from our Discord: “i've had the game since early 2013 or 2014 and barely leveled one account to 80 and despite buying HOT on launch i never played it very much at all despite my professed "love" for the game, but once i joined this guild it gave me a reason to play, it reminded me of all the things i had enjoyed and the sense of community that made guild wars 2 special." Some people found their unlucky way to our post on either reddit, or gw2forum. Otherwise, we single-handedly pick our members. So we know exactly what we're looking for and the personalities that suit our standards.
  • Our motto is Play the game, not the meta. Join for the fun, and stay for the pleasure. You’re highly encouraged to run builds that scream your personality, but also work well in a grouping environment. We have an absolutely no repping environment. We have members who rep 98% of their other guild(s) cuz they have to, or get kicked. But they run 83% of their time with us, in-game and Discord. Repping a guild to us is to show off which hole you're from, it shouldn't be a dealbreaker. Although, we lie a little. We'd appreciated if you rep in guild events so we can round up the numbers. Rep is because you're proud to be a part of. And do rep us during childbirths so we can receive the credits. We usually call our daddy for help
  • We're working professionals, scientists, doctors, nurses, drug dealers, strippers, etc. We understand time is of the essence. If you can only play a little naughty every night, you probably don't want to waste time with an unfit group of people. Or worse, end up stressing out in a toxic environment. This is a game. We want to improve ourselves as players but we don't want it to be our second job. Let's have fun getting it on! If there's any heated moment, we talk it out like grown-ups. We refuse to play the cold-war game (aka no talking). Cuz it'll only fuel unnecessary drama due to misunderstandings.
  • We’ve groomed so many generations of players, especially social anxiety folks and loners. We’re proud to bite them lightly, so they could be open to pugging for group contents and genuinely get better and be more confident IRL. When they best themselves, they venture out to high-end guilds, but still check up on us on a blue moon. That’s the type of community we try to uphold.
  • Got a guild website. It's a big, bad, outdated one. Eventually, we're aspired to make it into the like of Snow Crows, but only for casuals, nubs, and funsies uptime so they learn to play the game a little better. Our ancient site hasn't been touched since the guild release and would need a Lawn Mower 3.0. But it has huge base info from drop-down menus. We hope new players find it useful when starting out. Things you can focus on a specific part of the game. Wikipedia can be a pain to navigate. One of our guild mates comments: "dude thisa website is super informative :open_mouth:" https://intensepleasure.wordpress.com
What we do
  • We're passionate lovers when it comes to fractals. The scratching, biting, pinching type of passion. It is one of the most rewarding end-game contents, and open to those who own none of the expansions to certain levels. And doesn't need to spend time organizing like raids. Hence we choose it to be our PvE focus. It promotes team play a lot. Since the guild's establishment, we run fractal training almost nightly, and has trained approximately over 143 people now on different tiers, with pugs and ex-guildies included. Not big of a number but it's some honest work since I'm the only one training. We strike to level the majority to at least tier 3 fractals. So nobody has to pick up groups ever again. We make it easy for people to learn mechanics and start their own journey to obtain better gears as well as yielding better rewards/golds. I personally run fractal CMs train on Sundays. And I could escort you for tier 1 trainings on most week nights around 8pm or 9pm CST. Absolutely no experience, nor gears required to start doing fractals. You don’t even have to be level 80! Yes, you heard me right. Do say something in guild chat/Discord before LFG because we want to run with each other. That's the point of having guildies, right? Bring in the bitches! First day of Slippery Slope instability. 100CM! Omegalul
  • We are chillax sPvP players A lot of us are in gold/platinum divisions, duo/put up against top 30, or on the 250 leaderboard ourselves. Now we mostly play unranked for funsies, especially for daily completion, or occasional sPvP guild missions. sPvP is only fun when play with friends, even if getting killed and stomped en masse. Hey, it's a game, gotta laugh at ourselves on voice comm, or hear the girls freak out and scream cuz they get jumped at. Definitely more fun than a doctor can prescribe for your heart. We're rusty and we don't mind to admit that we are. But if you ever need to learn the basics of this game mode, you know where to find us. We also exchange homemade builds that are so scary none dares to try. Girl finally learns to take "intense pleasure" phone capture
  • We embrace drinking metas/fungeons/raids (Have to adult in order to join although it's not always involved drinking) "Alcoholism not required but strongly encouraged". We run dungeons because they’re nostalgic af. Just kidding. We have dungeoneers who can teach you anything you need to know about sex dungeons, dragons, and more. We're trying to make fucking dungeons fun dungeons a thing again instead of a thing of the past. Because fungeons are one of the best places to test builds, get rekt, or get familiar with a new class. There are lots of achieves and achieve points for doing dungeons too! And map breaking. They're also free access to people who don't own any expansions. Currently we're running them quite spontaneous so all you have to do is ask if anybody runs it, and we shall group up. Here's our take on a drunk dungeon tour.
  • We run strikes at least once/twice a week on all bosses. Once you finish a run with us, you'll get the mechanics down to the T and get ready to run whenever. Strikes are fairly easy as they're a 10-man introduction to raids, with only a few bosses that are kinky.
  • We try to raid To us, raiding should be a big bad orgy with full of laughters. No gear check; however, require matching underwear. (If you happen to wear them at all) Off-meta builds are acceptable, as long as you do your homework and pull the numbers. Or at least know which side of your face to smash against the keyboard. Our stand for raid is simple. There are 2 things. One. We're not Gods and can't pull dead weights. Two. Meta is the optimal standard, but it shouldn't hinder you from joining/learning mechanics. Therefore you can run any class you have your eyes on, something that is not too scandalous of course. We'd help with build crafting if need be. So you will love what you run and it makes learning a breeze. Because there are already enough guilds/groups that force play certain classes. Even if you're new, and you don't have a big wallet in-game to afford these fancy panties, you can still enjoy the contents. We currently are in need of more bodies who are interested in the game mode. That way we can set up a few progressive, or training runs across different time zones. We try to run spontaneous trains during weeknights around 9-11pm CST. Raid time is always our biggest enemy due to needing 10 people online at the same time. Not only that, we know people are very afraid of flaming and toxicity. So we try our best to drag you into the contents with the intention to have fun and learn something new. Hey, if we won't make it, maybe next time. It's no biggie. That's the attitude we want out of you. One of our first music trains~
  • Typical girl missions run on Friday night, starting @8-9pm CST. We want to move guild missions to a different night cuz it overlaps WvW reset night. But most peeps just save that time slot to catch up with us, so we keep going on Friday night. We just think these guys make an excuse to drink. Since we max out the guild hall, we tend to dedicate that time slot into training raids, or doing meta events, achieve hunting, help our with hero point training, etc. Our missions can also be activated at any time, by a lot of members. You don't have to wait for any officer to open them, just ask around and party up. "Guild commendations" that generated from guild missions are great to get early-game ascended trinkets. Hence we keep running missions. Discord is highly recommended for team sexicommunication and explanation.
  • We have bring-your-own-booze events on Saturday nights. Like dis. It's when Discord is crowded with shit and giggles. We promise no satisfaction since our insurance hasn't covered for that part yet. But you'd save 15% or more on car insurance if you switch to Intense Pleasure. And sometimes we do need professional help..
  • So far we've run Dragon's Stand drinking meta, finding Princess, group jumping puzzles, guild races, slo-mo hp trains, Becky wanna smash sPvP night, gambling dates, drunk Arah, card against humanity nights out, yearly secret Santa. In the future, we hope to incorporate guild hide and seek, guild truth or dare, guild karaoke, guild movie night, etc. It's any guild's dream and we're a big fking dreamer. We currently try to get guild dungeons and dragons going. Buy it's tough since people have their own D&D in real life. With each event, we try to invent our own rules to take shots/sips if you're drinking. Or just something to have a laugh at. You can join drinking juices/milk/wateme. No drinkingcism at all. We had 2 casual meet-ups IRL and we keep telling each other if this shitty guild is still up in the next 5 years, we may make it in Vegas!
Potential members
  • 21+. Our bouncers will ID check you upon joining. And in order to apply for the 'Gamer Grill' tag on Discord, you have to send nudes to Deddy. We’re not quite je ne sais quoi “family friendly” that you can’t even say a fucking swear word. We're also not an ERP (erotic roleplay) guild as much as our guild tag implies. Sad, isn't it? But you can use the tag as a disguise to sneak into one of those parties. There’ll be banters, F bomb, C bomb, you name it. We're very classy though, we only drop them on special occasions, or not. There's no filter around here. At the same time, we're not bad sailors. We would somewhat prefer you to not be a very bad one. Definitely not 7-swear-words-in-one-sentence type or we'll use spanking paddles. We keep our Discord clean from porn and too much vulgarity so it's totally safe for work. We have quite a crowd in their sexy 30s while the rest are 23+, hungry women and men. There’s some exceptions for 19 and 20 babes. But, they have to possess either kissable lips or a spankable derrière. [Mmm] We pick a mature crowd so we could hold a decent, rather spicy conversation. Plus, it won't make you feel out of place in a bunch of teenagers when you're sexy and you know it. Anyone at any level, new/experienced, with some unholy common sense. Who want a no stress zone, and a laid back community to play contents together, you are all very welcome. And thank you!
  • DO NOT talk about anime. It’ll likely go on for hours and kill your phone battery. Be careful of the weebs.
  • You're highly encouraged to get on Discord with us. This is somewhat important. We tend to have Discord toggled on while playing. You don't have to join voice chat or anything, just try to be active on Discord text chat for call-outs and updates. Even if we play different games/game contents, it makes MMO an MMO with some communication. Discord remains our source of interaction during the day when we're at work doing NSFW stuff. That's the only way to get to know you before we could group up at night, if any. It's ok if you don't have a microphone; or under IRL circumstances, you cannot talk. We will never force you to do anything you're not comfy with. The ability to listen is a must. Period. Not required but it does make a huge difference in group contents. A lot of us are shy and some mute themselves on Discord, just so they can listen and reply through text chat in-game. It's totally okay. It makes processing info faster and you focus on the things that matter the most instead of typing 5 paragraphs just to ask questions. And that's what we're trying to promote one way or another. So we social anxiety folks can improve little by little. Discord makes training runs/guild missions/most group contents 10 times smoother. And we're here to do group contents, right? We understand wholeheartedly if your voice may cause certain body reactions to us and that's what you're afraid of. Fear Not This Night and let your voice porn be heard! It will give us a chance to get to know you better.
  • We don't judge a book by its cover and have been recruiting people who just turned into new mums/dads, LGBTQIA+, couples, special needs, etc. We'd treat you with respect and we'd want the same in return. One for all and all for one vibe. We want our community to be rich with different backgrounds, stories and even accents. Our peeps are mature oriented, at the same time we don't take shit seriously. This is a game and casual at its best too. We group up to play other games, like D3, Smite, Overwatch, Monster Hunter World, Tom Clancy's The Division 2, etc. But GW2 remains our go-to for the rich lore since GW1, endless exploration, and group events that never get old of bugs. And because of its casual nature, GW2 is very good to play with friends, de-stress after work/after kids going to bed. It's just a great, dynamic, engaging MMO to play when you don't have that much time to grind.
  • There's only one thing to strictly keep in mind is to respect others, regarding of their genders, statuses, races, nationalities, religions, or sexual orientations. We maybe beautiful for our own good but we don't want to be featured in a soap opera series. For that, we don’t tolerate drama, sexism, harassment, or verbal abuse under any case, especially against our female part of the population, in which we have quite a growing number. Ooh and no elitism please. Thank you.
  • Since work/school/quickie gets in the way during the day, we often get online and play after reset. (Reset time is 6pm CST now) So we'll want anyone who can fit these bills: You are always welcome to join <3 even if the time table is not your prime time.
     * OCX night time. * Aussies: 11:30am – 5:30pm ACST | Kiwis: 3pm – 9pm NZDT. * NA prime time. 8-9pm CST until 2-3am CST | Or 6-7pm PST to 12-1am PST. NA insomniacs, where ya at? 
  • Aren't you tired when joining a new guild and get asked to represent them? Like whatttt? You barely know anybody there. Or get face spammed in map chat to join this guild A, that guild B which you know nothing about? What the heck they stand for and what are they doing? If you're a big lurker? And let's be real, you never really run anything with your near 500-member guilds. You're there for the max guild hall benefits and have bodies to do group hugs. Eventually, you'll leave because they’re glorified map chats that your tiny weeny chatbox can’t keep up with. Or end up playing alone too often because your smaller guilds are too dang small to satisfy you have anyone to play with. Smaller guilds tend to have fewer online people at any given time. We've been there done that. It makes you feel like playing solo because there's no one online when you do. Nobody to group up with. Know those feelings quite well, don't you? Time to put an end to all that misery, hiding, and lurking. Come out and play, you * censored *. Although, our thick, medium size might not reflect anything because we have members who are inactive for a millennia. We don't have a heart to kick them yet. We got a rich vein of ore you’d love to swing a few times for extra experiences if our offer is not moist enough already.
  • We won't ask 100 first-date questions. There isn't any application to apply. We get asked that a lot, as to why. This is actually a very simple test. You feel amused, you like what you see, you'd love to sign up even if all this is bluffing. If you don't, you walk away because of this huge wall of text. So yeah, consider us an upscale lounge with drinks on the house. Come on in, chill, have some fun. If we're not what you're looking, our door is open 24/7. There are a lot of amazing guilds out there, you have options, you have more choices. Ask for an invite, we'd provide one. Ask for any extra services, we will charge upon the hour. Jk. We require some common sense. Humor is a plus. When it’s needed, you’re not afraid to get down and get dirty. Ooh baby. We have fun in the allotted time while trying our best for the team/the guild. That's the mentality in almost anything guild related contents. It's ok if you suck _____ (Fill in the blank) But as long as you try your best, we appreciate you. That's all that matters. Don't worry about wiping and failing. It's part of the process. If you read this far (we secretly hope you do), and you've been nodding with a few things being said and soon to be done, that is more than enough to show our chemistry. We hope to expand that chemistry into a beautiful relationship. The deeper the better. (That's what -She)
  • If any of the above hits your Gspot, whisper in our ear your account name (ex: NUDE.6969). Or either let us know your sluttiest character name, or simply comment here if you're an exhibitionist. We cannot wait to bend you over, and do all these wonderful things to you. We know you're biting your bottom lip just thinking about it now. Stahp it. We wish you an incredible day/night wherever the f you are. We also thank you very much for your precious time to tap into this enormous zone post and consider us at some point. And of course be stupidly brave enough to apply. Sometimes people just don't click. We understand that. #feelbadman if it happens between us. If you pass us by, we wish you nothing but the best of luck in finding your one true home. If you have further questions regarding our guild, feel free to shoot them, preferably on the belly. Not the hair! We'll get to you as soon as we are able to. We're waiting patiently for your reply. Until then P.S. Huge congratulations on reading this shit post all the way through. Woooo.
submitted by beaniemoo to guildrecruitment [link] [comments]

2020.11.23 04:48 ahh_soy Full free sex chat

Previously on Seinfeld: Jerry and the gang became ghostbusters, Newman died with two prostitutes on the way to the set, an old Mansion exploded with all of them inside, and Jerry got stuck with Newman's ghost in a time tunnel caused by the proton streams being crossed.
An adult products warehouse. Somewhere in New York. George is stacking some boxes while Elaine sits at a nearby desk going over some paperwork.
Elaine: (not looking up): This is all your fault George.
George stops what he's doing, looks down clenching his teeth, then takes a deep breath.
Elaine: All your fault. Every job interview. Every one. Laughed out of the building. All three of us. And now we hafta work here. At Roxy's Adult Emporium's....warehouse.
George: My fault? My fault? As I recall, and correct me if I'm wrong, but as I recall... Elaine: I'm not the one who thought one of the producers of our new hit show got her pregnant and tried to sue him only to find out the pregnancy test kit she was using was from the early 1980's and had already been used way back then making it useless today! And... oh and if that wasn't bad enough, I'm not the one who didn't figure this little fact out until after filing the lawsuit in court and selling her story to The National Inquirer!
Elaine: Anyone could have made that mistake.
George: Why Elaine, why for the love of God, would you keep an old, used, pregnancy test? What purpose could that possibly serve?
Elaine: Well.... it had nostalgic value.
George: Nostalgic value?
Elaine: Yeah. It was the first time I ever thought I might have gotten pregnant.
George: Oh, so the test result was negative then?
Elaine: It was.
George: Who was the lucky guy?
Elaine: Well at least I didn't burn the Ghostbusters' office down. That would be someone else. Who might that be? Huh George? Do you know who did that?
George: Alright alright. Okay. So I had a little mishap.
Elaine: A mishap?
George: I just always wanted to do that thing from the movies. You know. The main character gets a big win and lights his cigar with a hundred dollar bill. We were stars Elaine and I was going to be rich!
Elaine: Yeah but you didn't have to toss the flaming dollar at that homeless guy out front.
George: We was a fan Elaine. And I thought he'd put it out and sell it on ebay. I was doing him a favor!
Elaine: Instead his clothes caught on fire and he ran into the building looking for the bathroom, but found the closet where the nitrogen tanks for the ghost traps are stored instead.
George: One must have been leaking.
Elaine: Yeah George, I kept telling you. You turn the knob to the left to close it.
George: The left?
Elaine: Uh huh.
George: The left. Okay. If you say so.
Elaine: Everybody knows that George! Right open, left close. Like a gallon of milk. Like everything that screws open. Wait a minute... that's not right.
Kramer comes into the room carrying several boxes stacked on top of each other. There are sex toys and women's evening apparel hanging out of the tops of them. He fumbles around looking for a place to set them down. He finally does but the top one tips over onto George. George throws the nightgowns and other things off of himself and is left holding two dildos. One in each hand.
George: Kramer!
Kramer: Sorry George. My back, you know.
George kicks a few of the objects away from himself.
Kramer: Hey, be careful with those. Everything in these boxes have to be handled with care.
George: (looking at the dildos he's holding) Oh yeah, what are they?
Kramer: Returns.
George throws the dildos down and looks at his hands.
George: Returns? Oh God! Kramer! I gotta wash my hands! Elaine where's that special soap they use on the loading dock?
Elaine: Downstairs.
George heads toward the door to the stairwell.
Kramer: Be careful down there George.
George: Why's that?
Kramer: This place used to be owned by the Army, and word is they left some dangerous chemicals in drums down there?
George: Whatever!
George opens the door and heads downstairs.
Elaine: Is that true?
Kramer: Oh yeah.
Elaine: How do you know?
Kramer: I had a buddy that used to be the manager here. That's how we got hired.
Elaine: Yeah that guy Benny.
Kramer: Right. Well he was cleaning out the back room down there and found em. He asked the owner about it and the owner said the Army left em here. Nobody knows what they are but he said they thought they were chemicals so they just left em alone.
In the basement George is washing his hands in a mop sink. He finishes and starts to look for a towel. He wanders back behind the stairwell where there is a walkway leading to a closed door.
George: Looks like a storage room. Paper towels maybe.
He opens the door and goes in. Inside it is dark. There are large cobwebs. George notices some paper towels on the top of a shelf. It is clearly out of his reach. Four large steel drums are sitting in front of the shelving. He climbs up on one and starts to reach for the towels. We can see that the side of the drum has a faded biohazard symbol on it.
George still can't reach so he starts jumping on the drum and trying to grab the towels with each jump. After a few of attempts, he lands too far to the front side and the drum tips over, throwing George onto a pile of old blankets. The drum hits the concrete floor hard and the top breaks off releasing white gas into the air and a dark, syrupy fluid onto the floor. George steps around the drum whistling nervously and shuts the door.
Upstairs Elaine and Kramer are putting products from a large box onto some shelving.
Elaine: This is the last of it. Thank God.
Kramer: Did you hear something a minute ago? Sounded like a deep bang?
Elaine: A bang? No. I didn't hear anything.
George comes back up from the basement and closes the door behind him.
George: If that stuff didn't get my hands clean nothing will.
Kramer: George. When you were down there, did you hear a bang?
George: (looking nervous) A what? A bang? No. Like a gun?
Kramer: No not like a gun. Like an old Chevy trunk closing.
George looks visibly nervous. Looks at his phone.
George: Well, whataya know. It's quitting time already. See ya tomorrow.
He heads for the front door.
Elaine: George?
George: Yeah?
Elaine: You do realize you're not a good liar right?
George: Liar? Who me? Elaine, I don't know what you're talking about. Gotta go..
Kramer has picked up a pair of fuzzy handcuffs which are attached to a long chain. He comes up behind George and quickly puts them onto George's wrists. He then backs up a bit holding the other end of the long chain.
Kramer: Elaine, grab one of those 'Freaky Feathers" we got in today.
Elaine: On it.
She quickly walks over to a shelf and comes back with a two foot long pink feather. It's got a round jingle bell on the unfeathered end.
George: What are you doing? This is illegal! I could have you arrested for this!
Elaine: You could indeed Georgy Boy. (she starts to threaten to tickle him with the feather) However, before you get that chance, Kramer and I are going to find out what you're hiding.
George: Or what?
Elaine: Or I tickle you with this "Freaky Feather" until you pee your pants.
George: You know I can't stand to be tickled! What makes you think I'm hiding something anyway? I'm not hiding. Who's hiding?
Elaine: When Kramer asked you about a bang. Remember?
George: Bang? What bang? I don't remember that.
She starts to tickle George's face with the feather. He squirms and tries to get away but Kramer holds the chain tight.
Kramer: Answer the question!
George: Alright alright. (she stops) I spilled some chemicals or something downstairs.
Kramer: That didn't sound like a small plastic bottle of chemicals George.
George: It wasn't. It was a big steel drum. The top came off and some kinda goo seeped out and some steam or something. I don't know what it was.
Elaine: This didn't happen to be in the back room did it George? A room that looks like no one ever goes in there?
George: Yeah that's right.
Kramer: Oh no. That's what I thought. We've all been exposed. I gotta call Benny.
Kramer drops the chain and Elaine walks back to her desk, sits down, and puts her face in her hands.
George: What? What's going on? it's just a mess. We can clean it up. No need to get ourselves fired again.
Elaine: No George. Kramer's right. Benny said those are dangerous chemicals. No one knows what they are. The Army left them here years ago.
George: You mean that thing Kramer said. That was true?
Elaine: It appears to be.
George: What do we do?
Kramer (on his phone but talking to George): I'm calling Benny he'll know what to do.
George: In the meantime can you take these handcuffs off?
Kramer pats his pockets and then stops, eyes widened.
Kramer: I don't have em. (redirecting attention to the phone) Benny? It's Kramer. Yeah I got a question for ya.
Kramer walks into a side room while talking.
George: Elaine, look for the keys.
Elaine: What keys.... oh those don't have keys. They got shipped out without them. We're sending them back.
George: You knew this and let Kramer put them on me anyway?
Elaine: No I forgot until just now. It doesn't matter anyway George. We've been exposed to an unknown chemical agent. We could die.
George: Come on. I feel fine and I was right there.
Elaine: We need to make sure.
Kramer walks back into the room while putting his phone away.
Kramer: Benny said that there should be information stenciled on the side of the drum telling what kind of chemical and what to do. So George just go back down there and check.
George: Me? Why me?
Kramer: You caused this mess. Why should Elaine and I risk exposure when you caused it and are already exposed?
George: I'm dragging this chain and handcuffed is why. I can't move things around like this.
Suddenly there is another loud bang just like the one before.
Kramer: That was in the basement. It sounded the same.
George: It was the same.
Elaine: Rat maybe?
George: No way. Those drums are too heavy for a rat to knock over.
Another bang is heard just like the others.
Elaine: Let's get out of there.
Kramer: We can't.
Elaine: Why not?
Kramer: Benny said to stay inside until we know what the chemical is. If we leave we could release it outside. If it wafts into a nearby home and someone gets sick or something the company could get sued and we'll lose our jobs. Someone has to go down there and check it out.
George: I'm not going alone.
Kramer: I'm not going alone either.
Elaine: Dammit, we'll all go.
George: I tell you what I'll only go if you can get these handcuffs off me
Kramer: They're not locked. It's a gag gift, just pull on em. They come right off.
George: They do? (he pulls on them and they fall right off)
Halfway down the stairs, the three are moving cautiously.
George: We're gonna need a flashlight.
Elaine: I got one in my purse.
She reaches in and pulls out a pink dildo.
George: That's not a flashlight.
Elaine: Oh yeah?
She flips a switch on the back and the head lights up giving off a bright beam.
Kramer: I thought of that years ago. I could've been rich!
George: I don't even wanna know what that's for.
The three enter the back room and find three of the four barrels turned over with dark fluid all over the floor around them. Kramer takes the light from Elaine and shines it around the room
Kramer: I don't see anyone. Or any rats.
Elaine: See what the drums say.
Kramer kneels next to the nearest drum and examines it with the flashlight.
Kramer: It says reanimating fluid. They all say that. Except this one here that didn't tip over. It says something different.
He examines that one with the light and reads outloud.
Kramer: Cryogenic fluid. Open lid to autothaw. Autothaw time: one hour. Reanimation Occurs upon full thaw. Psychosis period four hours. Subject: Seinfeld.
George: Wait. What? Read that last part again.
Kramer: Subject: Seinfeld.
George: Do you think?
Kramer: No no. It's probably the name of the scientist in charge or something. These have been here for decades. It can't be related.
Elaine: He's right. I don't know what that is, but the other stuff didn't sound bad. I'm not concerned about it anymore.
George: Yeah 're' means in reference to, animation fluid. It's fluid you use to draw cartoons. It's ink. It's the Army's way of saying ink. The Army always talks like that on official things. Everything is a unit or a Charlie foxtrot or something. They got their own way of talking.
Kramer: That is true. Maybe you're right George but how did these fall?
George: Who cares? Let's just deal with it in the morning.
Elaine: Yeah, let's get out of here.
Kramer: Wait. What's this?
He shines the light on the floor and we can see what might be footprints leading off from the fluid. The flashlight's beam follows them until they come to what look like black fluid covered feet and pants. The light quickly pans up to the face of... Zombie Newman.
Newman: Hello Elaaaaine. I want to eat your braaaaaain. Elaine Brain. Elaine Brain! Elaine Braaaaaain!
They all scream and scramble to get out of there. As they get to the stairwell the two hooker who died with Newman are now Zombies and standing on the stairwell.
Hooker 1: Bald Brain.
Kramer: I think she likes you George.
George: I've had rotten dates before but this is ridiculous.
The other hooker Zombie looks at Elaine.
Hooker 2: Gold Digger Brain.
Elaine: What? Me? (she pauses, thinks for a second, then chuckles) Do the shoes give it away?
The two reach out for the three of them and start walking down the stairs at them. They retreat to the far side of the room. There is a door there.
Kramer: I think that's the furnace room.
Newman is walking towards them as well as the two hooker Zombies. They run into the furnace room and shut the door just as the Zombies reach it.
Inside the furnace room the gang quickly locks the door. The Zombies start banging on it and trying to get in.
George: They must have come out of those drums! Reanimation fluid. Of course.
Kramer: Cartoon Ink? Really?
Elaine: How did they get in those drums? It doesn't make sense.
Kramer: I don't know but that is definitely Newman.
George: That means Jerry's in the other one!
Kramer: Right, but that one was different. It said something about psychosis lasting four hours. So after four hours he'll be back to normal.
Elaine: Right. Because they were already dead but Jerry wasn't.
Kramer: The proton streams crossing must've opened up a portal through time and sent them back.
George: And what? The Army captured Newman's ghost and put him back into his body? How'd they get his body?
Kramer: Must've dug it up. And sent it back... I dunno.
Elaine: What are we gonna do?
George: Call Benny.
Kramer gets his phone out.
Kramer: No dice. Can't get a signal down here.
George: It won't be long before they get through that door.
Kramer: Search the room for any air vents, crawl spaces... anything at all.
The three of them fan out and begin searching the room.
Kramer: I found an old whisky bottle. Finding anything?
George: I found an old shovel.
Kramer: Good we can use that. Elaine?
Elaine comes upon a brown grocery bag stuffed under an old empty workbench. She opens it and sticks her hand in.
Elaine: I found a... (she pulls her hand out holding an item from the bag) ...dirty pair of men's briefs! Ewe!
George reaches into frame and grabs them.
George: Those would be mine. Thank you.
Elaine pulls another item out of the bag. It's a bottle of KY.
George reaches back into frame and grabs the bottle and the paper bag.
Elaine: George! In here?
Kramer: Wait. What's this? It's an old coal chute! We can get out!
Kramer opens the door of the chute to look out and a pile of acorns fall out onto him, knocking him on his butt and half burying him.. He tries to stand up but slips on the acorns multiple times.
George: Acorns! That's it! We can throw those on the floor and those Zombies will slip on them!
Elaine: And then we run past them! But how do we keep ourselves from slipping on the acorns?
George: We hafta get past them first and we can throw the acorns on the floor behind us.
Kramer: I think the coal chute is big enough for Elaine to fit through.
Elaine: What? I'm not crawling up there.
Kramer: It's only about five feet to the street Elaine. I'd do it but my shoulders are too wide.
Elaine: What about George?
George: Oh no. Do we hafta go through the conversation again?
Elaine: What conversation?
George: 'The' conversation. The one that always ends up with a comment about my weight. You both already know I'm too uh.....
Kramer: Fat?
George: Robust. To shimmy up through that chute, but you still ask the question don't you? Are you just giving yourself an ego boost by reminding me that I'm a tad bit overweight?
Kramer: I hadn't really thought of that George.
Elaine: Me either.
George: Oh so you both just made the same obvious miscalculation at the same time? Ok. That's believable.
Elaine: Sorry George. I didn't mean to insult you.
Kramer: Neither did I.
George: Well you did!
Kramer: If it makes you feel better, Newman out there is much fatter than you.
Elaine: Oh yeah. That's right. When it comes to fat people, Newman's much higher up the list than you.
George: You did it again!
Elaine: What?
George: He's higher on the list than me? Which means I'm still on the list.
Kramer: So?
George: It's still calling me fat! It's just that Newman is fatter than me!
Elaine: Okay. Well I'm sorry George. I didn't mean it that way.
The door to the room bangs hard and almost comes off its hinges.
Kramer: We gotta figure out a plan fast!
George: Elaine, get your fat ass up that coal chute!
Elaine: What? Are you calling me fat?
George: Paybacks are hell Elaine. Paybacks are hell.
Elaine: Kramer, are you just gonna let him insult me like that?
Kramer: Whadda you want me to do about it?
Elaine: Say something in my defense!
George: Cut the chit chat Porky and get in that chute!
Elaine: George!
Kramer: He's right Elaine, you can fit in the chute. Crawl up there and go get help.
Elaine: If I'm so fat, then how could I fit up the coal chute?
George: It's compressible fat. Everyone knows that woman fat is compressible and man fat is not.
Elaine: I've never heard of that! You're making it up.
George: I wish I was Elaine. I'd like nothing more than to shimmy up that coal chute and be the hero, but sadly, I'm just too damn fat. Isn't that right Kramer?
Kramer: No, you're not fat at all man.
Elaine: Let me look up this chute and see. It would be nice to get out of here.
George: And go get help?
Elaine: Oh yeah. That too. (she looks up the chute) Maybe I can fit.
The two men give her a boost up and she crawls into the coal chute. Outside the building, we see the external door to the coal chute open. Elaine is inside.
Elaine: Almost there. Oh darn. I'm stuck!
Kramer: Can you use your cell phone?
Elaine: I could but I can only fit this one hand outside, the other one is jammed between my body and the chute.
George: It figures Jumbo.
Elaine: Jumbo? Did you just call me Jumbo George?
Just then a little four year old girl comes walking up the alley past the Chute opening.
Elaine: Hey little girl! Over here!
The girl stops and looks at Elaine.
Elaine: Wheres your Mommy?
The girl just stares. No one else is around.
Elaine: Can you go get your Mommy? I need to talk to your Mommy.
The girl walks over to Elaine.
Elaine: Do you know where your Mommy is?
The girl shakes her head 'no'.
Elaine: I need to talk to a grown up. Can you go find a grown up for me?
The girl shakes her head 'no' again.
Elaine: No? Why not?
The girl shrugs her shoulders.
Elaine: Okay, well I need to use my phone but I can't reach it. It's in my purse on the this side.
She points to the opposite side (her left) of the chute from her free arm.
Elaine: Can you reach in there and get my phone out of my purse for me?
The girl reaches in and pulls out a tube of lipstick.
Elaine: Oh lipstick. No honey, my phone. I need my phone.
Elaine is holding the chute open with her right arm, preventing her from using it without the chute closing.
In the basement George and Kramer are placing acorns in front of the door.
Kramer: We hide behind the door see, and when the Zombies come in, they slip on the acorns and we run out.
George: Shouldn't we be on the other side of the door so the door won't be in our way?
Kramer: No no no. In movies the good guys always hide behind the door so when the door is opened, the bad guys can't see them.
George: I don't know Kramer.
Kramer: You hit them with the shovel and we run. Got your pockets full of acorns?
George: Yeah, just like you said, we drop them behind us as we run.
Kramer: Then you go open the drum with Jerry in it.
George: Why me?
Kramer: You did it before. I don't know how to open those things.
Back at the outside opening to the coal chute the little girl has drawn large circles around Elaine's eyes with the lipstick.
Elaine: Oh, just go away! Go away little girl! Just go!
In the upper floor of the warehouse, some of the white gas that came out of the drums is coming out of the vents and flowing onto some dildos and blow up dolls. They all start to move! The dildos are flopping around and the blow up dolls begin to run around aimlessly.
In the basement, Newman and the hooker Zombies break through the door and rush into the furnace room, slipping on the acorns and sliding across the room. Kramer and George run out of the room.
They both run onto the room where Jerry's drum is, they knock it over. The top comes off and Jerry's head sticks out of the drum.
Kramer: Let's go!
George: Wait what's that?
George points to the back of the drum. There is a booklet attached to the drum in a sleeve. He grabs it and reads from the cover.
George: Project Reconnect: Patching the Hole and re-establishing natural history.
Kramer: Take it with you George, we'll read it outside.
The men run out of the room as Jerry yawns and begins looking around.
The men get up the stairwell and out into the main room. Behind them a few blow up dolls shuffle in from the sides. They are soon surrounded by blow up dolls walking around.
George: They're back for revenge!
Kramer: Revenge for what?
George: I took their innocence!
Kramer: All of em?
George: Yes all of em!
Kramer: When did you do that?
George: On my lunchbreaks! Downstairs!
Kramer: Couldn't you have just picked one George?
George: I tried but every day I had to use a fresh one. I'd take the one from the previous day and look at her face and get turned off.
Kramer: Why?
George: Because I knew she was soiled!
Kramer: You're a sick man George. A very sick man!
George: I know.
Meanwhile in the furnace room downstairs, Newman is chewing on Elaine's foot at the bottom of the coal chute.
Outside we see Elaine. The girl has now drawn spiral patterns on her face like from the movie "Saw". Elaine is laughing.
Elaine: Stop Newman, it tickles.
Upstairs, George is hitting the blowup dolls with his shovel, clearing a path for the men as they work their way towards the front door. Just before they get there a mannequin of a gay biker in full leather with a Nazi officer hat on steps into the frame, blocking their way. It carries a whip. George lifts the shovel to hit it but it uses the whip and snaps George's hand with it, causing George to drop the shovel.
Kramer: I think he likes you George.
George: Into the bathroom! Quick!
The men run to their left into a small bathroom. Inside they lock the door.
Kramer: Read the booklet George! Maybe it'll tell us what to do!
George gets the booklet out and starts to thumb through it.
George: Summary: A US citizen, Jerry Seinfeld, along with three fully manifested apparitions appeared in Queens, New York on April 1st 1968. The Citizen was rescued by local police. In his possession was a box which contained the trapped apparition of another US citizen known only as "Newman". The other two apparitions are those of Tricky Devore and Bambi Davis, both prostitutes from Brooklyn New York.
In the year 2012, three of these died from drowning and their spirits along with Mr. Seinfeld were transported back in time through a hole opened by a proton cross vector funnel, which was inadvertently created by Mr. Seinfeld when he and an associate crossed the streams of two proton emissions. The devices used are the same as the ones which caused similar events throughout New York over the years and were invented and used by an organization known in the future as 'The Ghostbusters', starting the in early 1980's.
An expert team of physicists have devoted their careers to patching these holes in spacetime and restoring the natural history of the Earth. We have acquired the remains of Newman, Tricky, and Bambi from the future, and have reinserted their spirits and placed them in a reanimating and rejuvenating fluid. After the containers are found and opened by George Costanza and Cosmo Kramer on July 15th 2012, the rejuvenating process begins. This should take about six hours. We know you're reading this George, so sit tight we have enlisted the Ghostbusters to come to your aid. They should be there any minute.
Did you hear that Kramer! They knew before we read this thing! We're saved!
In the main room Jerry has come up from the basement. He is attacking the blow up dolls and comes face to face with the biker mannequin. Jerry moves like a madmad.
Jerry: Get outta my way leatherboy!
The biker cracks his whip. Jerry attacks. The two of them scuffle and eventually Jerry throws the thing to the side and runs out the front door. Outside he runs off, down the alley, hunched over and grunting.
He runs past the little girl and Elaine who's face is now completely red with lipstick.
Elaine: Jerry! (he ignores her)
Just then three black trucks with shaded windows pull up and stop near Elaine. The back of one opens up and Venkman, Ray, and Winston step out. They have fancy new jumpsuits on with what look like upgraded proton packs.
Elaine: The Ghostbusters!
Venkman approaches Elaine.
Venkman: Elaine, right? You know, I didn't get a chance to say it before, but I always thought you were a beautiful woman. But Ray moved in and I didn't want to get in the way and then you burned our building down.
Elaine: Look Mr. Venkman, I don't mean any disrespect but we're dealing with Zombies here not Ghosts.
Venkman: I know Elaine. The Army filled us in. We're a special tactical unit now. They hired us to deal with paranormal threats across the board.
Elaine: You do Zombies?
Venkman: We do Zombies.
Ray: Venkman, let's go kick some paranormal butt and rescue the citizens inside, even though they burned down our building, sued us in court, made false sexual harassment allegations about me, got our show canceled, and embarrassed us in the national media.
Elaine: Uh...sorry?
Venkman: Don't mind him Elaine, he's just jealous that we have a budding thing here.
Elaine: We do?
Venkman: Don't try to fight it Elaine. Others have. It's a fruitless effort.
Elaine: Look, I've got a Zombie chewing on my foot right now and a facefull of lipstick, can we discuss romance another time perhaps?
Venkman: Don't worry about your foot. It's not like in the movies Elaine. Zombie teeth are looser than crackhead teeth. By now, he's just gumming you.
The Ghostbusters come in through the front door, proton packs powered up and wands out.
Ray: Maidservice here!
Venkman: Problem with paranormal pests?
Winston: Who you gonna call?
Inside the bathroom, listening.
George and Kramer: Ghost Busters!
The Ghostbusters begin zapping the blowup dolls, dildos, and walking mannequins. Then they head downstairs where they confront the hookers.
Ray: Set on stun; these two will return to normal within hours.
The men adjust some switches on their equipment and zap the women.
They enter the furnace room to see Newman gnawing on Elaine's foot.
Ray: Newman I presume?
Newman looks at him.
Newman: Huh? Who are you guys?
Venkman: We're the Ghostbuster's Newman. But we do Zombies now also.
Ray: And Werewolves.
Winston: Vampires.
Venkman: and uh.... Bigfoot.
Newman: Bigfoot?
They zap him. He falls to the floor.
The next day Jerry is in a hospital bed reading. George, Elaine, and Kramer come in with some flowers.
Jerry: Hey guys. Good to see you.
George: How do you feel Jerry?
Jerry: I feel fine.
Kramer: They said they caught you chasing Mimes in Times Square, like a madman.
Jerry: Yeah, I never liked Mimes. They're like dropouts from clown college.
Elaine: Do you remember any of it?
Jerry: Yeah, but it's like a dream........ a dream ......... a dream ........
Jerry sits up in bed. He is in his apartment. He grabs his phone and starts texting.
Jerry: George, I've got to stop watching movies while I fall asleep. I just dreamed we were ghostbusters and Newman was a Zombie.
He waits for a second. His notification sound dings. He reads it outloud.
Jerry: You should write it up and submit the script. I heard they're doing another one.
submitted by ahh_soy to RedditWritesSeinfeld [link] [comments]

2020.11.22 20:05 AggravatingCost2280 Full free sex chat

To give some reference, I’m a 20 year old half-closeted gay male in college. By half closeted, I mean, all my best friends know (female or gay), and I insinuate and say gay shit to straight friends I may or may not be attracted to 😅 (we all got our own ways for flirting lmao). For more reference I love fashion, and designers, but am probably about 80% straight acting, as my true, honest personality. That being said, the 20 percent shows out regardless and people tend to question my sexuality, but it remains just that because I’m overall straight acting. I’m very sociable and pretty popular in any crowd setting, part from my personality, the rest from my outfits. To sum up this background paragraph, I am also a brother of a FRAT. All my brothers are “straight”....
Heavy air quotes on the “straight”...
So I joined a frat because I go to a medium-sized university, where the on-campus population that is social all know each other from campus parties, overall gossip talk, and interwoven social circles. Sounds like a high school, but that is the nature of a school with a small on-campus community. Like most schools, if you’re social, or like to party and want to have a “college experience” you really gotta join Greek life. Freshman year was legendary for me, I got into all parties free, as every frat was looking for new, highly social pledges who could bring followings and fresh energy to their orgs. I was honestly just whylin out cuz it was my first taste of freedom and wanted to “do college” so you could catch me in the center of most major off-campus events. I wasn’t looking for attention, but drunk me knows how to get a crowd I guess 😭😭. So in the spring when Freshman were eligible to pledge, the pressure to join an organization, since my free, open/invite privileges were slipping away as Frats started to apply pressure for recruitments. I joined a Top org on campus.
Tbh, I was majorly attracted to one of my line bros, might have been a factor in my choice to join the frat 🙈... Mind you the whole frat is “straight”.
We’ll call that special brother I was into “Rex”.
Rex was just my type. Straight 🙈, tan skinned, blond hair, ocean blue eyes, a lean, slim athletic build, with the most gloriously shaped, perfect pair of glutes. And he knew he was hot. Not in the gross, self-absorbed type of way, but, after being pursued by women they way he had been, he knew he was an absolute SPECIMEN.
Rex has a girlfriend who goes to school 2 hours away, whom he had been dating since high school. He was whipped and claimed to be ~in love~.
Rex was a social force, I mean, when you’re as attractive as him, naturally, people are drawn to you, and his personality is always positive. Rex is always smiling and loves to laugh, an almost Gatsby-like charm. Now, Rex was no idiot, full scholarship, top of his class finesse, I’m telling you Rex is out of a fantasy movie!!
One night, my pledge line was having a sleepover to bond. And that’s the start of this story of emotional highs and lows, confusion, and denial.
So there was another brother of my org, we’ll call him Ash. Ash had an incredible ass, it was so big and perfectly shaped, disproportionate to his smaller build (some people are blessed with GENETICS, ok?). Anyway it was a widespread, fraternity joke about how nice and fuckable Ash’s ass was, and everyone loved touching it. Mind you, this is a “straight” frat. Rex too got noted for his ass too, he and Ash were known for having the perfect butts in that frat. (TBH most my whole line had such beautiful dairyers, but that’s the gay talking.) So at this sleepover Ash was sleeping on the couch and Rex must’ve been extra-horny or something, but all his hands, and attention was devoted to playing with Ash’s ass, the whole damn night. There’s like 12 of us there, and the real straight guys are like “alright man, this is pretty sus,” and disengaging, I’m liking what I’m seeing, and Ash was pretending to be asleep. Ash liked the attention, none of us were drinking that night. My gaydar tells me Ash is only mostly straight. He and Rex grew to be super close since then, and if that’s not a red flag, idk what is.... So Rex continued to be restless, playing with with Ash’s ass throughout the night. When Rex got tired and we were all getting tired, Rex, and someone else took to the carpet to sleep, and got to “bro cuddling”. This was my cue, I slipped right the fuck next to Rex and joined this “bro cuddle”. As we pretended to fall in and out of sleep, we took turns being the “man” In the cuddle situation. Every so I often i would turn and spoon Rex, purposely going for dick-to ass contact, cuz once again, I love Rex. Rex would always turn and spoon me soon after, going for the same type of sexual contact. He obviously preferred being dominant, but I wasn’t complaining. I got to feel his (semi-hard?) dick on my ass and I never felt more bliss. Obviously some sexual tension.
When word got about about what happened at the sleepover, everyone in the frat started making jokes about Rex and I, especially Rex since he couldn’t keep from acting gay that night with his episode with Ash. I didn’t mind it, it made me mildly uncomfortable to have to endure the comments while actually knowing that I was gay in secret. I had to just brush it off, and hookup with a female at a party to clear my record. The period of talk was short-lived, people moved on, Rex had the girlfriend that everyone knew about, and met, and I was back in the closet.
Also, all semester, as Rex loves attention, I had a great time getting to touch Rex’s ass without the awkward alarm straight guys set off when you touch them. It was a truly great time.
Before we knew it, the semester ended and everyone fucked off in their business for the summer. The Fall rolled around and I thought all that happened was behind me. I wasn’t thinking about it, but Rex was...
It’s move-in day, and Rex and I were living on the same floor, so I bumped into him naturally. The first interaction I had with him, he was making a joke about what happened at the sleepover. I was not expecting all of that after a long summer of work, and minding my business. So, as a closeted guy in love with Rex, I brush it off, and let out a “Bro, we’re no talking about it “ with a giggle. We go on about our business.
Rex, the big goofball he is, found it smart, and titillating to get a rise outta me. When no one was around, “as a joke” he would expose his perfect, smooth BARE ass to me. Why? I have no idea, but he loved doing it and found it funny. He wouldn’t do it in front of other brothers, but me all the time. Especially after our history, he def had a hunch i liked him, as mentioned at the very top, if I like you, I’ll flirt a bit more freely, but inna “straight” joking way. He would reciprocate it too, so with all this, im getting majorly confused with all these mixed signals!!! I’m like “Rex, you want me or not?!?!” (In my head ofc).
So mid semester, Rex, Ash, and I go to a major US city for some networking conference one weekend. Conference by day, the club by night. When we went to the club, Rex’s girlfriend was bothering him talking about some lack of attention or something. We’re in a different city, tryna live it up, and Rex is all gloomy cuz his girl is stressing him out. While at the club, as expected, a bunch of women are throwing themselves at him, and he’s dubbing them all because he’s loyal to his girlfriend, who’s also bugging him when he’s supposed to be having a great time with the boys. We leave the club prematurely because the vibes are put off because Rex is stressed. Ash is tired and went straight back to the hotel to sleep, and Rex, though stressed, wanted to still explore the city and probably clear his head.
Rex and I went on a joyride through the city on one of those pay-per-minute electric scooters. So we each found scooters, and rode through the city. It was so much fun, Rex and I got so much closer. I helped him through his little fight with his girl that night and we had a heart to heart in the park. It’s like 3 or 4AM and we’re getting tired, ready for bed after our heart to heart. My scooter had died, we were too deep into the park to get an Uber, and we were considering just riding all the at back to the hotel. Rex’s scooter still had battery, so he suggested we get on the same scooter and get to a place to get an Uber. So I get on his scooter, holding tightly to his abs, my body glued to him for balance, and unintentionally that involved dick-to-ass contact. I was hard the whole ride, and I know he felt it. I tried to control it, but the heart wants what it wants. For 7 long ass minutes I remained hard, attached to him the whole ride and tried to maintain regular conversation to distract from it, but it was there, and I know he felt it. We didn’t talk about my obvious passion, ever, and boy am I thankful for that. I don’t even know what I’d say if he brought it up😭😭. But we got in the Uber, went back to the hotel and knocked out.
We go a few weeks into the semester and my frat was having a mixer. The DJ puts on “We are never getting back together” by Taylor Swift. All drunk, everyone is having fun. Somehow I bump into Rex during all this, and we shout the lyrics together and he pulls me aside and says “Hey man, let’s agree, we’re never hooking up again” with a giggle. And I’m drunk and just go “Definitely not, never again” with a giggle too. However, we’ve never...even...hooked up.....? He was talking about what had happened the previous spring, an incident over 7 months forgotten. Clearly he still thought about it, (oftennnn, I’m sure) and it bothers him at the thought that he might be gay. It didn’t stop the sexual tension for the semester, or the ass grabbing, but since then I kept my distance, and he toned a little down with all the gay shit (people in the fraternity were talking, Rex was a bit sus, more so than I’ve explained).
That was fall 19, we zoom all the way past covid, and into the summer. Rex, after going through quarantine, and I’m sure a whole lot of time with his girlfriend, has now become king homophobe. He now uses “gay” in place of stupid, which he never did before, and says a whole bunch of toxic homophobic comments and tries to seem more masculine.
This facade is not fooling me, he is very clearly struggling with his sexuality as the whole could seemingly end if he was gay. Like I said, start student, and athlete, very popular, with a bright future ahead, I understand why he’s clearly struggling so much. It’s surfaced itself in homophobia, but this is typical behavior. Before I came to terms with myself, I was homophobic too.
I must also add, Rex NEVER talked about sex, or women EVER. Even in the safety of being around straight brothers going on about women, Rex never added. People saw this, and it only added to their suspicions.
Anyway, this all means that I’m in competition with his girlfriend who he clearly loves, and wants to love in that way, but may feel insecure because he’s falling short. I’ve decided to keep my distance, and let him figure it out. Being at home this semester, I’m working on my body, and growing as an intellectual. When I do move back to school next fall, I’m not gonna agitate the beast, but when the opportunity presents itself, and I’m sure it will, I’m on him.
Anyway, this was much longer than I thought, and it really could be much longer, so many instances of suspicion. But I wanted to post this so that I can indulge in any of your crazy true stories regarding a straight friend or closeted individual.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE comment below with your own thoughts or anecdotes. Let’s chat.
Mine falls short of the erotica many of you were expecting, but this has been quite the damn rollercoaster of emotions for me, with so many angles to the story that support the conclusion. I’m in competition with my “straight” friend’s girlfriend.
Also, DM me if you close to my age, and might wanna be friends. I’m 21 soon, so lmk, tryna have a get a great gay/closeted friend group and go to the club, or have brunch sometimes, idk 😂.
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In order for you to understand where I'm coming from with this post, I feel I should give some background. I grew up in a cult (Mormonism) and although I was mentally out by the time I was 14, it took me a long time to come out to my family (as both an atheist and as bisexual). I removed my records a couple of years ago (if you don't believe that Mormonism is a cult, I had to go through an attorney to get my records removed.... so that should tell you something lmao). Even though my experiences in the church weren't nearly as negative as a lot of other people, the culture still severely impacted me and effected me as an individual in a lot of ways. I've had a lot of other things happen to me that don't have to do with religion that have impacted me in similar ways, but a lot of this happened is a sort of cohabitive fashion; one thing fed into the other, fed into the other, into the other, in a pretty vicious cycle. The result is that I'm massively shy, introverted to the extreme (I can go for days without seeing a person and just be like... totally fine tbh, and I get overwhelmed in social situations within a short amount of time), I don't trust easily, and it takes me a long, long time to get comfortable with people enough that I can be myself. I also suffer from depression and pretty severe generalized anxiety, in addition to two chronic illnesses.
I didn't go on a date until I was about 21, and I didn't have my first relationship until this year. That was a hugely eye-opening experience for me, and I understand a lot more about myself, and yet there's a lot I don't understand now that I thought I did. Isn't that the fun part of growing as a person xD My relationship only lasted three months and I broke up with the other person because I saw a lot of red flags in him that I wasn't comfortable with or willing to tolerate. It was also a case of.... thinking I wanted one thing in a significant other and a relationship, and realizing that wasn't what I actually wanted.
SO all that is to say that I'm currently on a journey of self-discovery and trying to figure out what I really want. I'm in this conundrum where I do want to be in a relationship, but the journey of actually getting to know people is exhausting to me. Not because I don't want to, but because my anxiety gets the best of me, and because sometimes I feel like it takes me so long to really be myself that I can accidentally present myself as one way when really I'm another, and so by the time I really start to develop a close relationship with someone I feel like an imposter almost. I've never really felt like someone understood me in a really deep, genuine way. And I guess that's what I'm really looking for - someone to understand me and accept me for all the weirdness that is me, and someone I can do the same for. I make up a lot of excuses in my head for why I shouldn't get to know people, or why they aren't genuine in wanting to get to know me, and it can be really difficult for me to get past that. But I'm getting better at it. And I want to continue getting better.
So! I guess all that is to say that I'm a bit of a mess, but I'm working on it lmao, as I'm sure a lot of us are. Additionally to say that... I don't really know what I want here. Friends absolutely, but while my ultimate goal is to be in a relationship with someone, I don't want to put that pressure on whatever happens here. So someone to talk to and get to know, and if something more happens? Cool! And if not? I need more friends anyway lol. I go through periods of wanting to talk all the time, and then periods where I'm just... not wanting to talk to anyone at all except my cat rofl, so fair warning.


Once I get comfortable with someone, I tend to be really silly and goofy. I laugh easily and a lot (I have a loud laugh, too - people have told me repeatedly that they can hear me from across a building). I snort-laugh quite often. I've been told that I should start charging people for my services: Follow them around and laugh at all their jokes to boost their confidence. Lucrative business idea, right?! I get really excited about things and cry a lot. New music? I'll cry. I wept like a baby when I saw Coco, when I read The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson (don't get me stARTED unless you want to hear a long-winded ramble about how Dalinar Kholin is the best character of all time, don't @ me), and I'm basically a big mess whenever I talk about Harry Potter (especially now that JK Rowling is a confirmed transphobe... I have some feelings). I feel things deeply, basically. I'm a wuss.
I think the simplest way to sum my personality up is to say if I were a Vine, I'd be this one because I do this annoying thing in my daily life. I like to talk in all caps over text, and in person, about 80% of my vocabulary consists of weird facial expressions and sound effects. I think I'm a master of making myself look like an idiot to make people laugh, so there's that. I have one of those weird senses of humor where I find almost anything funny, and puns make me cry-laugh. I like humor that's super pure, and really dark humor.
I also love stories of all kinds, but especially in the form of movies and books. I do like TV shows, too, but I have a harder time getting into them because of the time commitment. If it's something that's complex with amazing characters and fantastic writing, though, I'm hooked (Avatar: The Last Airbender, anyone?). I love, love, love watching movies with people I like, especially if it's a movie they've never seen that I love, because I really like knowing what people think about things and if they like it, it makes me happy that I introduced it to them. So, like, please wanna watch movies with me. Especially horror movies. And maybe true crime shows. And documentaries. And a lot of stuff.
I'm also an author! I've published a short story in a local literary journal, so I'm not that far yet in my career and I'm faaar from being a professional author, but I'm working on my first novel/series. I tend to stay indoors a lot because I feel like being a writer naturally makes me averse to spending too much time outside lmao, but I have some health things that keep me from doing a lot of physical activity anyway. Feel free to ask me about it, if you want!
I always forget to add this, but I'm also VERY INVESTED in music. I sing and play piano (and guitar a bit, but I'm super novice lmao), and I get hardcore into bands/artists I love. So, there's that lmao. Another fun fact about me: I have 13 tattoos (and am itching to get more). My next is going to be a tribute to Rush, which I always intended to get, but after spending an afternoon lying on my living room floor, listening to Rush, and crying over Neil Peart, I've decided it's gotta be next lmao.
If you're interested in messaging me, you should know that I'm unsure of where I want to settle down at present, but there is a good chance I'll want to move to the WA/OR area in the next several years. I'm almost positive I want kids (but not biologically mine, for a lot of reasons you can ask me about if you'd like). A lot of people on this sub don't seem to want children, so I feel this important to mention. Additionally, I'm fairly positive that I'm asexual. I'm not averse to sex necessarily, but I'm just not always... terribly interested lmao. Other dealbreakers: I'd prefer someone close to my age (I'm more open to several years older than younger, though), and I'm not interested if you smoke (including vaping). Nothing to do with tobacco in general, I'm just not interested in having the smoke around me. TBH I'm also not interested in dating someone religious; I'm happy for you if it makes you happy, but I am... uncomfortable with religion as a general rule. LDR is totally fine with me to start with, but of course if this goes anywhere, I'd love to be in the same place eventually! Also, it'd be awesome to do skype calls or voice chat on discord or something in the future, when we're both comfortable.
Other than the above, I'm open to anyone regardless of gender, location, etc. I KNOW THIS WAS SO MUCH TEXT so if you got through all of it and are still interested, kudos to you and hi xD
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2020.11.21 14:11 Joker_ERP Full free sex chat

Hey there! Today I’ve got a massive list of rp ideas and have written out some starters along with some ideas to how I see the rp going. I’m open to change and ready to do other ideas too. So if you feel like you’ve got an idea I might be interested in feel free to talk to me about those: ).
As for my replies. I write in first person mainly and my reply length varies. I generally do anything from a few sentences to a paragraph or more and generally require my partner to do the same. Fair warning the less detail you reply with the less interested I’ll be in rping with you. (Not looking for a few words as a response)
I enjoy having a story to go along with the smut so it’s not just constant sex, some cute or action driven moments are fun as well. – Hand holding and cute dates are pleasant! I mainly do my rps on kik, discord or here. I also have an RP facebook account, so feel free to ask for my users for those! : )
My kinks and limits list might be a big read, but none are compulsory. I’m just here to have fun and hopefully meet some cool rp partners : )
Kinks: Harems (Doesn’t mean having to play all characters at once, just one by one is fine!), Incest, Outercourse (Which is stuff like titjobs, thigh jobs, grinding, hot dogging) Risky public spaces (Toilet stalls, changing booths. That kinda thing where people could get caught.) Facials, Freckles (Face and body). Big/nicely shaped bums (Especially if they jiggle). Creampies, Cum on tits/body, big cumshots, Thigh high socks. showewater sex (pools, shower, hot tubs ect.) Mutual desire for sex.
Limits: Pregnancy (Hard limit sorry), Vomit, Piss, Blood, Toilet stuff, Rape, Gangbangs (Unless it’s multiple females) Male on Male, futas, rimming/pegging.
There might be more that I’m forgetting so if you’re unsure feel free to ask me! The rougher side of sex like Name calling, slapping choking spanking I can all do as well! : ) Without further ado let’s jump into the starters!
Disclaimer: I am 18+ and all participants and characters must be 18+
Here's the basic list of ideas if you wanted to look them over before reading the full posts. I’m also open to some ideas that I may have missed! And please note: I’m looking for FEMALE characters only!
Rule 34/Fandom/Game Ideas: Idea 1: My Harem (Hero) Academia. Idea 2: Pokémon Idea 3: Naruto Idea 4: Bleach Idea 5: One piece. Idea 6: Sword Art Online. Idea 7: Fairy Tail. Idea 8: Avatar The Last Airbender. Idea 9: Persona (Girls from 4 and 5). Idea 10: Harry Potter. Idea 11: Final Fantasy. Idea 12: The Witcher 3.
OC Ideas: Idea 13: Fantasy harem adventure. Idea 14: Only Man of the town. Idea 15: Zombie and Nuclear Apocalypse. Idea 16: Sci-Fi space crew.
Incest Ideas: Idea 17: Brother sisteMother son (Or both). Idea 18: Aunt/Cousin. (Can be both) Idea 19: Incest family vacation.
Idea 1: My Harem (Hero) Academia.
(So my character will be a transfer into Class 1-A. His power is the power of persuasion. With the power he’s able to convince someone to do something as if it’s their own will. However, he’s hesitant to use it on other people and to tell everyone he even has it as he’s been outcast at his last school for the villainous nature of his quirk. As such he can’t use it to its full extent and can only issue small commands to begin with.
My idea with this is that one or more (cannon or non) of the girls decide to help him out in a private setting and overtime it gets more and more sexual in nature. And as he becomes more confident, he’s able to issue more longer-term commands. This can also be mixed in well with some story and some action to keep the plot interesting.)
Starter: It was a day which started like most others in Class 1-A. The students got ready in the dorms and headed to class to chat among themselves while they waited for Aizawa to enter. However, unlike most days there seemed to be an extra desk placed in the room. The seat caused some confusion which didn’t last long as the first bell rang and Aizawa entered the room.
“Morning everyone.” He stated in his mainly bored and sleepy tone which seemed to sound like he was stifling a yawn. “Today we’ve got a new student transferring in from another school. He’s from Shiketsu, some of you may recognize the name since it’s got the same level as prestige as U.A. but regardless make sure he feels welcome.” He said pointing a sweeping stare at everyone and finally resting on the problem child of the U.A class Bakugo.
With that he fell silent and I felt it was my cue to enter. Swallowing a little at the nerves I steeled them quickly and entered. My blue eyes sweeping over some of the familiar faces in the room. Many of the students had standout performances in the UA sports festival and as well in the news reports about the villain attack on the training camp.
I had a lot to live up to if I wanted to join these legends in training but regardless, I was determined to do just that. Breathing a little and shifting my auburn hair from my eyes I smiled the best I could. “My name is Schwarzer, Chris Schwarzer. It’s a pleasure to meet you all.” I say bowing to the class.
Satisfied with the introduction Aizawa nodded to the spare seat in the room. Taking that as an order I nodded back and headed over to my seat sitting down and getting my books out. Curiously I turned to the seat next to me noticing one of the girls in the class and gave her a slight smile as Aizawa began his lesson.
Idea 2: Pokemon. (So this one is super simple. Some trainers or a trainer and his Pokémon go on a grand adventure. For this one my favourite Canon female are: Marnie, May, Hilda and May. And my favourite Anthro Pokémon are Lopunny, Arcanine, Blaiziken That’s just for reference though and you can really play whoever you like! Ocs are of course welcome too!)
Trainer x Trainer Starter:
I like many others in the world of Pokémon have just started on my journey. Although I had done so a little late. Regardless me and my starter Pokémon Aipom which was a gift from my late father. Setting off with excitement to make a name of myself.
That excitement wore off pretty quickly however as an advanced trainer stepped in my path and soon, I realized how big the gap between us was. He wiped the floor with my aipom and laughed as he took my “Prize money” Scooping up my aipom I rushed through the rest of the route and over to the next town ducking quickly into the Pokémon centre.
Looking around there was a few new trainers who seemed to have fallen to the same fate as I had and I shook my head. Guys like that were total assholes and without hesitating I headed over to the counter where the nurse took my Aipom from me. Once he was gone, I was told there was going to be a short wait due to the amount of Pokémon they had to treat. I nodded as I headed over and sat down in one of the seats.
Idea 3: Naruto. (So for this one I like the idea that my character is a nomadic mercenary hired by the leaf to help train the ninja of the village, maybe he also has some kind of hidden power that boosts his chakra but also increases his libido. Not too sure how I wanna go about this one.)
Starter: The Hokage Tsunade Senju looked over me with a curious gaze and then down to my application form. “You’re younger than I expected given everything you’ve done.” She stated honestly. “But the intelligence division did a thorough search into you and you check out.” She stated as she slammed the approved stamp down onto my paper.
“Just remember, if you do anything to endanger this village, I’ll snuff you out personally.” She said in an icy and threatening tone. Feeling a cold bead of sweat roll down the side of my face I nodded. “Of course. I wouldn’t dream of it.” I say. Internally I make a mental note not to cross her in any way.
“Good.” She said putting a smile across her features. “Your first group is down on the training field waiting for you already.” She stated. “Your lodgings will be set up by the time you’re done, here’s the key.” She said tossing the key to me which I caught and stuffed into my pocket. I was a little shocked with how quick she wanted me to get to work but I nodded. “Right!” I say giving a respectful bow before heading out.
It took me a little longer than expected to actually find the training grounds as I hadn’t ever been here before. And when I got there much to her credit there were a few ninja standing around. Approaching them I gave them a sheepish smile. “Sorry I’m late guys.” I called out. “I got lost.” I added on.
Idea 4: Bleach. (So a new human soul reaper makes it into the soul society. His power isn’t captain level to begin with simply being enough to take out the average hollow. And with the resurgence of the hollow threat the Soul Society has offered to give him a substitute badge to take out those hollows deemed too small for the soul society to handle. Maybe he’s paired up with someone or someone like Orihime steps in to help him grow.)
Starter: Another boring day at school followed by a night of boring patrols. With all the big hollows being taken care of by “Full-fledged” Soul reapers it didn’t leave me with much opportunity to train against bigger enemies.
At least that’s what I thought originally. A few blocks from me there was a rift which opened up and the pure spiritual pressure that came from the hollow that stepped out of it was enough to make me feel as though gravity itself was pushing against me.
It was hard to breathe and even harder to stand as my hand clutched my blade in my left hand tightly. I shook my head as I heard the loud roar of the large breast and could even see it’s towering form from my position.
It was nothing close to a menos, but it was enough to tower over a three-story building for sure. “Shit.” I hissed to myself as I knew there were no soul reapers around at this stage. With a threat this big I was sure they’d come, but until then it was up to me to buy some time and make sure no humans or souls were consumed.
Pushing myself forward I reached the park that the Hollow had appeared in. Thankfully the park was deserted at this time of night. When he saw me the hollow. “You don’t smell like much, but you’ll do as a snack.” The hollow commented as it charged forward. “Just evade, buy time.” I comment to myself as I began to leap around the battle field looking a bit like and feeling like an idiot.
The hollow toyed with me a little while enjoying the chase before it seemed to ger bored. Just when I was thinking I was fast enough to keep avoiding it the creature’s mouth opened and its forked tongue shot out at me with faster speed than I was anticipating I raised my blade to defend myself but it was a feeble attempt and I knew it wouldn’t be enough.
Idea 5: One Piece. (So I’m not quite sure how to approach this one, but I’ll give it a go. Much like the MHA starter my character will have the power of persuasion, having eaten the Persua-Persua fruit. I’m thinking either he joins the Strawhats and goes on their adventures or he makes his own crew with girls from the story, I’m gonna leave it fairly open ended so we can jump in whenever along the story we wanna go!)
Starter: Alone in a bar I sat staring in the amber liquid in my mug. I was down on my luck after having my whole crew and my ship destroyed in a long battle another pirate crew. The only reason I was able to live through the ordeal was due to my crew sacrificing themselves to give me a chance to escape.
I spent days adrift with little food and water and soon washed up upon the island I was in. Immediately I found a tavern ready to drown my sorrows and feel sorry for myself for a little while.
Letting out a sigh I downed the rest of my drink soon looking at the few drops of liquid bottom of my mug. I knew being a pirate wouldn’t be easy, I knew it’d be violent and end in violence. However, to lose in that fashion without even being able to use my devil fruit to calm or question our opponent and losing everything still took its toll on me.
Scratching at the growing stubble with one hand, the other I raised my mug to demand another drink and as such the bartender approached to fill my mug. “You’re looking a little rough there, you sure you need another?” The bartender asked as he took the mug from me. “I don’t have anything else to do. I don’t even know what else to do with myself.” I responded grumpily. “Just fill it up.” I demanded. “Right.” The bartender responded as he filled it with more of the alcoholic amber liquid and slid It in front of me.
Idea 6: Sword Art Online. (Fairly simple it’s SAO set in the original death game. I love the idea, so I’ve always loved rping this one. If you want to play canon characters my fave is for sure Lizbeth, but I’m open to OC characters!)
Starter: It’s been months since Akihiko Kayaba has trapped us into this death game. Or at least that’s how some people looked at it. Others saw it as their dream come true. But most if not, all wanted to push forward and beat the game.
Despite the desire to push forward little progress has been made. Guilds and parties have formed to push through dungeons but with the increased danger and with it more deaths; more and more people simply decided to live out their lives on the lower floors.
Unlike those rushing in to push through the content I was happy enough to go through it at my own pace. This place was like a dream for me, save for the fact I had an increased chance of dying I was able to live in this game without the worries of the outside world.
I was doing some late-night grinding in an area of dense forest. The sun had set and there was little light save for the bright moon poking through the trees. All was calm, the trees swayed with the wind and the occasional sound of creatures moving about was enough to calm me.
However, the deeper I got into the forest the louder a sound became. At first it was quiet but as I approached, I heard it more clearly. It sounded like steel clashing against steel. Someone was fighting. Moving from a casual walk into a jog I quickly came to a small clearing where I saw two figures fighting, although in the low light I couldn’t make it out until I got closer.
Idea 7: Fairy Tail. (it’s been a little while since I’ve seen the series, but I’ve always loved it! Given my time away I might have to take some time to refamiliarize myself with the magics. My character will simply be an entry level member into the guild to begin with, canon characters are welcome just as OCs are!)
Starter: Another day in magnolia and another party being held at the large guild building at the centre of town. A large-scale job had just finished with some of the senior ranking wizards. and even though I wasn’t part of that mission, instead being on my own D-Rank job I joined in on the celebrations.
I had only been part of the guild for a few days and so far, it’s not been as exciting as I’d hoped, although I figured that it’d pick up once I proved myself. I was drinking by myself when I was approached by Makarov. He was wearing an essentric looking orange outfit. “Schwarzer my boy!” He said as he patted me on the shoulder. “How are you fitting in?” He questioned. “Fine sir! Everyone has been very welcoming.” I say to him in response. “Glad to hear it! You’ve been doing a good job, although I’d like to see you do more.” The male said. “So I’ve arranged a partner for you on your next job, that way you can take something more challenging, what do you say?” He questioned.
“Yes of course!” I say eagerly as a smile spread across my face. “Great!” He said cheerfully. “I’ll introduce you to who you’ll be working with.” He said as he stood from his spot and lead the way over to a female clearing his throat loud enough to get their attention.
Idea 8: Avatar the Last Airbender. (So for this one I guess it can go two different ways. My fave girls from Avatar would probably be Ty Lee, Suki and Toph. Maybe my character is a powerful bender that either the fire nation or team Avatar wants on their side. I think it might be cool to think that Aang isn’t the only airbender and instead a small faction managed to escape and continue the lineage. Either that or my character is a powerful firebender of some kind. I’ll leave whichever you prefer to you in your first reply as I’ll leave it open ended.)
Starter: The world was at war ever since the Fire nation attacked. With the intense fighting came mercenaries. Freelance benders or soldiers ready to fight on either side. For a fee of course. And despite my age, being only eighteen I was quite renown amongst the other bounty hunters for my bending.
Of course, there were talks of the Avatar returning, having repelled an invasion in the south pole, the liberation of Omashu and then the fire nation prison. It seemed they were making quite the stir in the earth kingdom.
It’d only be a matter of time before they reached the small town, I was in. Perhaps they were already here. But if that was the case surely there would be some kind of stir. Pushing my hair from my face I ordered another drink from the barkeep. “You know you’re my favourite customer Schwarzer…. You’re the only one who consistently pays his tab. Unlike the rest of these soldiers or the workers around here.” The older man says in clear annoyance.
“Well who knows, if I wasn’t so successful, I’d probably mooch off you too.” I admitted with a grin. “Try not to talk too ill of the soldiers on either side.” I added on flicking him an extra coin for a tip once my drink was finished. “Well I better check if anyone has a job for me.” I say as I pushed myself up from my seat.
Idea 9: Persona. (So basically this is just gonna be a fairly interesting idea. My character along with the girls of persona 4 and 5 get stranded in this strange dimension where they have to fight their way out to make it back to their own worlds.)
Starter: It all happened so fast. One minute I was in a team meeting with my group discussing what we should use our newfound powers for next. And the next second, I had blinked and I was in some kind of strange room.
One by one more people were added into this room. Some of which were dressed in some elaborate costumes. And I frowned as I looked to each one of them, all of which I didn’t recognize at all and judging by their looks they didn’t recognize me. Although before we managed to introduce ourselves a booming voice broke the silence.
“Welcome all!” The clearly male voice commented. “To the room of my design.” He added on. “I’m sure you’re all confused. And no doubt you’ll want to return back to your homes. However, to do so you’ll need to enter my labyrinth. “Make it to the end and you’ll all return home.” The voice explained.
“Of course, this maze isn’t without its dangers. Enemies, much like you encounter on a regular basis will roam these halls. As well as beasts of my own design far stronger than those… Fear no though for every check point you reach this room will become more furnished with amenities. For now, you simply have beds to rest on.” He said as there was an audible click and the dark room was suddenly lit up. Sure, enough there were rows of beds all lined up one for each person to sleep on.
“When you’re ready to test yourselves step through this door and enter the first level of the labyrinth.” He declared as a large door appeared and opened up in front of them. For a while nobody said anything probably all too stunned to even process the information. “So, I’m guessing we’re all persona users given what he just said.” I spoke up. “I guess we should probably start with names and strengths, right?” I questioned the group. “I’m Chris Schwarzer.” I say. “My persona Serapth focuses on ranged combat.” I explained.
Idea 10: Harry Potter. (So to keep this one interesting I’m thinking of having it set in an AU where Voldemort and Harry don’t exist. However, there are still dark wizards who are part of a cult around. Defs looking for a Hermionie, Luna or Ginny, you could even have other celebs/ecelebs as teachers or students for this one! Ocs are of course welcome too!)
Starter: Another year at Hogwarts, the last for some; and another year of learning was right around the corner. Although times were not peaceful in the wizarding world. Aurors who were the police of the magical world were going missing or showing up dead.
The ministry not wanting to make a panic kept it fairly under wraps, however some of the families have come forward with the information and rumours abounded about what was really happening. Stepping off the train I sighed a little rubbing my temple where a headache had begun to set in. During the train ride here, I found myself stuck next to a boy who wouldn’t stop going on about the rumours and conspiracy theories.
Glad to be off the train I looked around for a minute lost as to where I needed to go. “I know it’s around here somewhere.” I commented, although my sense of direction was always off. Usually I followed everyone else. But this time it seemed I was one of the last ones off the train.
Idea 11: Final Fantasy. (So this is simply going to be an idea with no starter since it will probably change depending on the many FF universes. My favourite however is defs FF7. (Tifa, Jessie and Aerith are best girls) with follow-ups being 12, 13, 15, 10, 8 and 9. Basically a fight would take the Main character of those series, Cloud, Noct, ect out of commission and needing a leader the other characters step up and hire mine on. Similar to some of my other prompts but I never said I was creative :^) With that being said though if you ARE interested in this one let me know and we can work out details depending on what world we’re in!)
Idea 12: The Witcher 3. (So my character will be a Witcher. (wow!) Saving people, hunting things you know? The family business. Anyway, I’m gonna leave it super open ended for you to come in however you like! If you wanna play a canon character my top two are for sure Ciri and Trist, and OC characters are accepted too!)
Starter: A Werewolf, an odd and rare contract, although I figured it wouldn’t be a hard one. In face I figured with my silver blade that the creature would go down rather quickly. Starting the encounter, I was faced with a harsh reality due to my hubris. I started off well enough, however due to my carelessness I was quickly on the backfoot.
The beast roared as it swung its large clawed hand towards me. I had barely managed to roll out of the way of the attack. Probably due to the increasing levels of bloodless resulting in a careless action on my part. A level of confidence quickly pushed down by the fact a handful of open wounds stung at my flanks.
More scars for later given that I make it out of here, although with my silver blade thrown on the other side of the area leaving me with only a steel sword which barely even phases the thing. I had to reach my blade, although with my focus on dodging the attacks it was hard to find an opening to do so.
I raised a hand and cast the igni sign launching flames at the creature who leapt back and I tried my best to make it past the creature only to have to dodge another strike as the beast recovered remarkably fast. “Stubborn bastard, aren’t you?” I questioned a little sourly.
Idea 13: Fantasy harem adventure. (This one is fairly basic in nature. Basically, a young man with little combat experience leaves his poor hunting village once he’s of age and sets off to join the adventurer’s guild to make a name for himself and also to send money back home. He’s fairly modest, naive and kind hearted. Which makes him likable and easy to take advantage of.
We could add a story with war elements, racism and darker themes to show him that the world he idolizes isn’t as cracked up as he thought it’d be. Ideally, I’d like a full harem party for this one but I’m cool with one on one too.)
Starter: It had been a few days since I was finally able to leave the small village, I was raised in behind me. Sword on hip and keen to become an adventurer. Of course, I also wanted to make a name for myself and I was even more excited to see everything the world had to offer. With driving me forward I headed from my village over to the closest city which had a guild branch. A city called Ruan. It was nearly five times the size of my village if not more and yet it was nothing close to the capital city of Grancel.
Smooth dirt paths soon gave way to cobblestone and my boots clacked rhythmically against the pavement as my steps soon got faster and faster as Ruan came into view. My stomach was in knots as I gripped the straps on my bag tightly and after steeling my nerves and taking in the sight of the large city, I headed through the large stone arch to the busy streets beyond.
My excited eyes looked around at every nook and cranny as I took in every detail that was on offer. Soon coming across the large marble and wood building of the adventurer’s guild in front of me. I stood in front of the large building clearly awestruck and for a moment I felt completely overwhelmed. This was it. This was the first step I was going to take on my journey and yet I felt far too nervous to head inside. Instead I stood there shaking slightly as I tried to work up the courage to push those large oak doors aside and declare my presence to the world.
Idea 14: Man of the town. (So again the premise is also pretty basic. My character wakes up in a town where there’s no men, as if they all vanished at once. Including his father which leaves him home alone with his sister and mother. (It’s up to you if you want incest in the plot or not.) We can have a story with an element of mystery to it too if you want! Or we can just bounce around the town having him bonk as many different people as you want.)
Starter: It’s been a few weeks since all the men in the town vanished one day. One day they were there and the next they were gone. There was of course a panic even though it is much calmer than originally, it continues to creep in the back of everyone’s mind. It doesn’t help the fact that no outsiders have come into the town and some strange thick fog seems to stop everyone from leaving.
However, with no answers it was left to the women of the town to pick up the slack and try to push for some level of normalcy. Except for me it seemed. Since the whole act started, I was in lockdown not being free to leave my home since my mother and sister was much too paranoid that I’d disappear too. With the amount of time I spent indoors going stir crazy I began to wonder if it was better to be wherever the rest of them are.
Today was different though and finally I was given the chance to leave the house while my mother was careless and rather quickly, I headed out into the street just glad to take in the scenery as I headed over to a nearby park. I headed over the soft grass feeling it beneath my shoes and then to the pond where I took a seat on one of the mounted benches.
Idea 15: Zombie and Nuclear Apocalypse. (Not a whole lot to say here other than it’s one of your run of the mill Zombie/Nuclear apocalypse scenarios. I might toy with the idea of having multiple zombie types like games such as Dying light and Left for dead in order to spice things up a little but we’ll see where we go with it. As for nuclear I’ll probably be following along the Fallout franchise. Being part of these worlds will probably make my character a bit more brash, blunt and even a little rude. However, given some time he’ll warm up.)
Zombie Starter: No one knows quite when the outbreak started, however it swept over the globe causing panic. People eating people. People dying and coming back to life as a shambling corpse joining the armies of similar creatures. Society crumbled over time and the cities which were now hot zones for hordes of the undead creatures were left abandoned to all but the most daring or desperate of individuals. However, these rabid hordes weren’t the only thing to look out for in the apocalypse.
Society had begun to reform in its most primal form. People grouped together for safety. Those who just wanted to live peacefully became easy prey for those who saw the end of the world as we knew it as a playground to kill pillage and steal what they’d like. These bandits created their own factions with their own fortresses and seemed to have an endless supply of guns and ammo as they used it quite liberally.
I had been on the trail of a particularly nasty group of bandits as they razed whatever small settlements, they had to the ground callously and without mercy. I had just arrived at one of these towns. Dying people lay scattered about while fires licked at the makeshift buildings. It was still quite fresh. Approaching a nearby body which seemed to be moving slightly I turned it over the man was in bad shape and was clearly on death’s door. His eyes looking into mine in a pleading sense.
“Do you want me to make it quick?” I asked him reaching my left hand down to my machete which hung on my belt. Weakly his hand reached out to grip my right as he gave a nod. I knew the death wouldn’t be clean, as I unsheathed my blade. However, I couldn’t waste any ammo on my pistol nor could I risk tipping off the bandits that did this that I was following them. With a quick swing I slammed the blade into the head of the man ending his life and after wiping the blade off on his shirt I slid it back into its sheath my eyes scanning the immediate area for any of the undead which had turned or for a slim chance of getting a glimpse of survivors.
Nuclear Apocalypse Starter:
The world as we knew it ended in a flash. A white light followed by a rumble which washed over the world in nuclear fire. Billions died then and there reducing the world’s population to the brink. Those who were lucky to survive a direct blast were mutated to become much different than humans and more akin to zombies. Those outside of it didn’t have much quality of life as the radiation created mutated creatures which made living in a barren wasteland that much harder.
There were others however who were lucky enough to be given a spot in giant underground vaults. There they lived out their lives separated from the horrors that this new world wrought. One by one these vaults opened to allow these vault dwellers into the wasteland that was our world.
Their blue suits and clueless natures made them stand out and become easy prey to raiders, giant creatures and everything in between. Many of them didn’t get far before being gutted and robbed for their illusive vault suits which earned enough to feed a scavenger or bandit for a month.
The world and society began to rebuild. And with small settlements and towns popping up here and there it wasn’t all doom and gloom for the wasteland. Many were able to create jobs in local milita, mercenary work. Even trading or bartending.
I was such a mercenary a few generations of my family lived through the bombing and the radiation which was lucky enough for me, I guess. I was hired to do whatever someone wanted for the right price. And today I was tasked with delving into a recently opened vault and check make contact with the inhabitants inside.
Colt python on my waist I headed over to the large vault door which at this point was sealed shut and knocked loudly. This job seemed rather easy and was paying a lot which made me wonder who I was working for and what purpose they had with these vault dwellers. However, I wasn’t paid to ask questions nor did I really care at the end of the day. The less I knew the less guilt I could feel.
Idea 16: Space/Scifi. (So this is a scifi adventure. My character is the captain of his own ship and is currently looking for recruits to join him and help run it. There will probably be lots of interesting planets our characters go to and I’ll certainly be making them up as we go along! Your character can range as anything from a human to android or even an alien.)
Starter: Stepping out of The Tempest I breathed in the humid station air of Astra station. The station which was on the furthest reaches of the space ruled over the galactic council; was a haven for the depraved. Outlaws, mercenaries, drug dealers you name it Astra has it and in bountiful supply too.
Which made it a perfect spot to find someone who was desperate to get off the station. Someone who would work for cheap or for free. All I needed to do was to find them. “Schwarzer, don’t forget to stock up on food, military rations are sad.” A voice commented through the earpiece I had. “Yeah. I’ll head through the slums and to the market. Thanks, Evai.” I responded. “And don’t cause any trouble, I don’t wanna rot in this ship while you’re dead.” The voice added on. “Yeah yeah I’ve got it.” I responded as the communication line was severed and I started on my walk.
I headed through a nearby door and down into the depths of the station. Soon I the overcrowded and frankly smelly slums. Beggars and gang members lined every corner all looking at me with a cautious eye as I passed. There were even a few tweaked out drug users laying scattered about in some dark corners. Even a few corpses.
I didn’t stop though, if you stayed in one place too long down here you were asking to be jumped and quickly, I pushed on heading over to the bustling markets. The food quality here wasn’t the best although it was abundant. I even talked to a few of the store owners to see if they knew where I could find the extra hands to help me on my ship.
Idea 17: Brother sisteMother son (Or both). (So, this starter is gonna be fairly generic, however it’s open to allowing any of the familial ties to be easily included. I have a few ideas for immediate family and will post them below and if you have any ideas, I’m happy to hear them.)
Starter: It’s a hot and lazy day in the middle of summer break. I had laid splayed out on the couch at home. Despite the air conditioner being on full blast my skin underneath my tank top was getting stuck to the leather couch; which did little to alleviate the heat fluster that was going on. I sighed after looking over the back of the couch to the pool outback longingly. I sighed a little resigning myself to bite the bullet and peeled myself from the couch.
As much as I wanted to strip down and run out, I wasn’t entirely sure if I was home alone and as such, I headed up to my room to change into a pair of swimming trunks before heading back downstairs. Passing through the laundry and grabbing a towel on the way.
I headed onto the back deck and draped my towel over the railing before I rushed over and leapt into the pool immediately feeling the cool water wash away any of the heat I had been feeling. I resurface and breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed my messy hair back from my face.
Idea 18: Aunt/Cousin (Can be both). (Again like the incest scene above I’m not quite sure how to spruce this one up so I’ll leave it rather basic and we can go from there.)
Starter: My family has gone on holiday without me as I had to stay behind due to being caught up in exams. Rather than meeting up with them later they decided it would be more fun for me if I finished them up then headed over to spend some time with my Aunt and my cousin across the county. While I wouldn’t be leaving the country, I was still getting a vacation in a way and as such I tried my best to be upbeat and positive about it, even if I was envious of the others.
While it wasn’t the same pristine beaches and high-class resorts that the rest of my family was going to, I was still grateful for the hospitality. The plane lands in the airport and after collecting my bags and checking my phone for a confirmation I was going to be picked up I sent my family and my aunt and cousin a quick text telling them I landed safely. After gathering my small suitcase from the conveyor belt, I wheeled it through security and out to the meeting area keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of my cousin or my auntie. There was a little confusion about who was going to greet me so I wasn’t sure who to expect myself.
Idea 19: Incest family vacation. (So, this one is again going to be like the other two before it. They kinda roll off each other in a way. However, I believe it allows for a wide range of engagements with multiple characters at some kind of beach resort.)
Starter: It’s the dead middle of another scorching summer and rather than tough it out in our homes which has air-conditioning which never seemed to help, our large family decided to all go to a large resort (Could even be a cruise too) together. Many of the rooms were rather luxurious and I was more than excited to see what the rest of the hotel had to offer.
We pulled up into the lobby and while the parents were checking in I headed over to check out a map on the wall. It seemed there were quite a lot of different things to do around the resort. There was a pool with a poolside bar, a beach which had volleyball games, a massage parlour, hot tubs and many different activities ranging from native dances to eating competitions.
Just the realization we were here and the excitement at the many possibilities that could come from the vacation. Maybe I’d even meet someone nice and have a vacation fling. Although with so many family members running around, I doubted that I’d get much peace to do that. Regardless I was eager to get up to the room, have a shower and change into my swimming trunks to explore all the different places.
We headed up to the rooms where I noticed mine had a large double bed. However, judging by my mother’s comments outside It seemed there was some kind of mix-up in the rooms and I’d be sharing the room with one of my family members. Not that I minded too much. I placed my suitcase down and waited to see who would come in and if they were interested in joining me look around.
Closing words: So yeah that’s about it! Thanks for reading and if you have any questions or suggestions, I’m open to hearing them! I know this was probably a big read so thanks again for your time and I hope to talk to some of you soon!
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