2020.05.13 04:45 enfu3g0 Normal People Episode 6 Deep Dive: Connell Had One Job
Warning: Spoilers galore.
My other Normal People the Series Episode deep dives: Episode 5 Episode 11
I’m still thinking about Normal People. Not just the series now, but even the novel. I’m starting to forget to use quotation marks in my regular writing. It’s getting bad. So here we are back with another few thousand words on another episode of Normal People the Series to distract me.
Episode 6 is a series landmark. This signals the end of the first “block” that was shot, and the final episode with Executive Producer and Academy Award-nominated director Lenny Abrahamson at the helm. It signals the end of the early years of Connell and Marianne, before taking them from kisses and sunshine and putting them both in much darker places in the second half of the series. This is the last time we see them “together” (as Marianne defines it in this episode) until the series finale. Uniquely for the series, this episode is told in flashback. It revolves around a single story beat – what the fuck happened? How did we go from “it’s not like this with other people” at the end of Episode 5 to Marianne sobbing, alone in her kitchen, over a broken glass?
Character-wise, we’re given longer glimpses into the inner demons of both Connell and Marianne; the demons that are going to batter them and their relationship for the next five episodes. We’re also given more time with some of the supporting cast that will be part of the narrative for the next two episodes. Let’s get started.
We open with Marianne sobbing, alone in her kitchen, over a broken glass. Smash cut to a “six weeks earlier” chyron. Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Too Much” cranks up, and we get Marianne back in the same location, same position. Smiling this time, with a much brighter frame, wearing a different top. Love the transition, Lenny. Marianne says “stay“. Connell is spending most nights at Marianne’s place. He says he has to go back to the room he rents with Niall to grab stuff. Marianne hasn’t met Niall yet, but likes him. Marianne: “Is he your best friend, do you think?” This is foreplay. She means “if you stay you can fuck me“. Connell can’t resist and takes the bait. “No. You are.” He gets up and closes the distance. Carly’s voice swells as they snog. “That I’m wild for your skin and the dance that we’re in. So close now, so close now.” Connell picks Marianne up and plants her ass on the counter. Carly keeps going. “It takes me higher, feel the love.” Connell takes his shirt off. “I’m not afraid to know my heart’s desire.” He strips Marianne’s top off. No bra. Natural light is streaming in behind her. They’re in the face-to-face position, and we all know what’s coming. “When I party then I party too much.” Smash cut to black title screen, silence. “Normal People” That’s just fucking ominous. Using a CRJ party song to foreshadow bad stuff is brilliant and a crime at the same time. The first time I saw this I was expecting a full-blown kitchen counter sex scene set to “Too Much”. The shot looked and sounded amazing. Then it’s taken away. Tremendous opening sequence. Give Lenny the Emmy. Full disclosure: I love Carly Rae Jepsen. Sue me.
Niall is giving Connell grief about spending every night at Marianne’s place. Niall: “Is she your girlfriend yet?” “No.” “What are you playing at? Are you keeping her on her toes?” “Course not.” “She’s too good for ya.” “Yes, I’m aware.” I love this callback to Lorraine in Episode 3. “And you don’t think maybe you should have asked her? Seeing as how you fuck her every day after school?” Again. “Normal People.” Leave it to Lorraine to be our barometer of what normal behavior should be. Can we hear her yelling at Connell right now? “What exactly is the arrangement? You go over to Marianne’s house, you have sex with her, and you don’t ask her to be your girlfriend? Is that it? xxx You’re fucking her! You’re fucking her, and you won’t even touch her in public! What are you afraid of?” I’m convinced that’s what Lorraine would yell at Connell. Leave me to my fanfic. Of course next scene is Connell talking to… Lorraine. And yes, she’s berating Connell again for not thanking Marianne for the lead on the job he got through Sophie. “(Marianne) has been very good to you, you know.” “Right.” “I just hope you’re a bit more appreciative of her now.” “Yep.” “Well?” “Look, apologies have been made, okay? If Marianne isn’t dwelling on it, I don’t see why you are.” Oh Connell, you idiot. Then we get a very condensed version, barely a stinger, of a conversation they have much later in the novel. “How would you feel if I kept going at ya about some stupid teenage mistake that you made?” Lorraine: “Sweetheart, you are the stupid teenage mistake I made.” Sarah Greene gets the best lines.
We get a short scene where Marianne is telling Peggy and Joanna that she has to go home for two days. “It’s just a boring dinner, and a weekend being a dutiful daughter.” Is Marianne lying to them, or herself? Joanna suggests she go see friends. Marianne says that she has no friends back home. Cut to the next conversation. Peggy is quizzing Marianne and Connell. “You guys are fucking, right? You’re together.” Marianne. “Yes, we are.” Peggy: “Everyone’s speculating, even though you never actually touch each other.” Marianne: “It’s not a new thing. We used to hook up in school. Secretly.” To Connell: “I hope you don’t mind me saying that now.” Callback to Episode 5, when Connell asks Marianne if her Trinity friends knew about their history. Marianne: “Yeah. [I would be embarrassed if they found out.] Because it was humiliating.” Now she’s volunteering that information to Peggy. Fine, she’s supposed to be her best friend. But the only person who had any inkling of their history was Joanna, not Peggy. (In the novel, Connell is thinking here about his never talking about being together with Marianne. She’s very popular and a lot of men want her, so he derives social standing from being with her.) Peggy: “You make a very cute couple.” Connell: “Thanks.” Marianne, raised eyebrows. “Couple.” Peggy, fast on the uptake when it comes to sordid affairs: “You’re not exclusive? That’s cool.” Marianne: “Men can be possessive. Men seem more concerned with limiting the freedoms of women than in excising their own.” It’s like she’s predicting the next two years of her life, our girl Marianne.
She’s defined being together with Connell as they’re fucking, and have been fucking a while, but they’re not exclusive, no emotions involved. Connell is a passive bystander and says nothing. (In the novel, there’s a few lines of discussion here about male privilege. Connell then zones out of the discussion. He thinks Peggy is an airhead.) The conversation then veers into male privilege meaning all men are interested in having sex with multiple women. Peggy asks Connell if he’s into that. Connell says “not really“. Peggy says that he can have her and Marianne in a threesome. (That’s not a no, because Connell is thinking that he could fuck Peggy in front of Marianne, but he could never fuck Marianne in front of anyone else. It’s the same part of his brain that prevents public displays of affection with her.) Connell sputters. Marianne saves him by saying she couldn’t because she’s too self conscious. Peggy asks what she’s self-conscious about since she’s “so pretty“. Marianne again predicts her future when she says “I have a coldness about me“. Peggy and Connell say that isn’t true, and Peggy says she just needs to be more in touch with her feelings. Peggy leaves.
Marianne comes back, lays down with her head in Connell’s lap, and she says that she would have done the threesome with Peggy if Connell wanted her to. Connell: “You shouldn’t do what you don’t want to do.” “Had you wanted to, I’d have enjoyed you wanting to. I like doing things for you.” “You can’t do things you don’t want or don’t enjoy just to make me happy.” “But I like making you happy.” Marianne closes her eyes, a contented look on her face. Connell looks like he’s thinking, suddenly rubs his eyes and bolts up from the couch. Marianne asks him what’s wrong. He says he doesn’t know, he felt weird. (There’s that word.) This is perhaps one of the most difficult scenes to interpret without the help of the novel (or the show script). Fortunately, we have that. Connell thinks about hitting Marianne, and that she would let him. The thought makes him physically recoil. That’s why he stands up and walks away from her suddenly. Novel text: “He has a terrible sense all of a sudden that he could hit her face, very hard even, and she would just sit there and let him. The idea frightens him so badly that he pulls his chair back and stands up. His hands are shaking. He doesn’t know why he thought about it. Maybe he wants to do it. But it makes him feel sick.”
Connell wakes up the next morning. He’s naked in bed with Marianne. He wakes her up, and tries to explain what he felt. Marianne snogs him before he can start. He pulls back and says “You know I really love you don’t you.” He goes back to kissing her, then starts to fuck her with his hand. He slides over into missionary to fuck her with his cock, and they both finish. Marianne: “I think I was starting to have feelings for you there at one point.” The both laugh. Connell: “Should have to repress all that stuff Marianne. That’s what I do anyway.” They’re both complicit in keeping this a FWB situation. The novel clarifies that their relationship at this point is pretty domesticated. Marianne cooks, Connell cleans up, they get on social media, and then they have sex. After sex, they talk about intellectually stimulating things (reinforcing that they’re both high IQ, questionable EQ people), and then they have more sex. The sex is so intense that sometimes they feel they have a romantic connection (whatever that means). That’s what Marianne is referring to in the preceding quote, and Connell feels it to, but they don’t talk about that. Anything but that. As voyeurs into their lives, it’s frustrating, by Sally Rooney’s design.
Next scene, Connell asks Marianne to send him naked pictures, which she agrees to happily. (“I like doing things for you.“) He assures her that he’ll delete them, explaining that it’s for her reassurance. She asks him to send her dick pics, but he probably shouldn’t, saying that she’ll never delete them. This leads into sex again. More reinforcement of Connell’s hold over Marianne, and foreshadowing of her trials in the future.
Connell is laid off for two months, igniting a major plot point. Our avatar, Niall, is telling Connell that he’ll sublet the bed since he can't make rent. When Connell says he’d rather go home to Sligo for the summer than ask to crash at Marianne’s, Niall says what all of us want to: “You can’t be fucking serious. You already stay with her five nights a week.” “That’s different, I don’t live with her.” “You think if you move your toothbrush into her bathroom, she’ll get too attached?” “I don’t think that at all, I just wouldn’t want to ask her.” Niall, you, me and everyone else watching Connell drive himself into a wall. “Fuck’s sake, man.” Niall gives up, maybe too easily. How many of us in Niall’s spot would have gone to Marianne and told her his situation, even if Connell disowned us as his friend? I know I would.
A few people say that this is totally unrealistic. It’s one of the very few plot points of Normal People, a device to break up Connell and Marianne for the second time and send them to experience life separately before bringing them back together for the ending. My take is that Rooney goes out of her way to present Connell and Marianne as characters with outsized flaws. One of Connell’s is anxiety over the social gulf between him and Marianne. From the time Rob quizzes him on Lorraine working for Denise in Episode 2, to Marianne’s surpassing him in social standing at Trinity in Episode 4, his bunking in a shoebox with Niall while Marianne lives in a posh apartment with dinner parties every day, having to hold down a job while at Trinity while Marianne’s friends (and all the men pursuing her like Gareth and Jamie) are all rich kids, it snowballs over time. We haven’t even gotten to the Italian villa yet. He has a massive inferiority complex. Does this justify his decision here? That’s up to the viewer. I choose to accept that Connell has the EQ of a doorknob, and suspend my disbelief. I’m just as pissed at Niall for not seeking out Marianne and outing his sorry ass, but that would ruin the plot mechanism. Finally, I’m not letting Marianne off the hook. She’s blissfully unaware of Connell’s neurosis over financial standing at this point, her being the total opposite – she has no concept of the value of money, having never had to pay for anything herself in her life. She’s incapable of reassuring Connell. Now I’m even more pissed at Niall, who’s the only one who could have intervened.
Off to Marianne’s home in Sligo. Her relatives are complimenting her performance at Trinity and reminiscing about their own experiences. The relatives are ignorant of the relationship issues present, particularly between Alan and Marianne. Alan gets compliments as well on his job performance. Mentions of their father clearly triggering Alan. Marianne does the dishes, and Alan comes in to make small talk. Marianne’s expression says nothing good can come of this interaction with Alan. Long shot by Lenny, to convey how alone Marianne is while being accosted by Alan. She gives him lip and he douses her with dishwater. Denise witnesses this, and just walks away.
That evening, we get a scene of Marianne taking a nude selfie to send to Connell. She’s crying, still shaken up by the events of the day. It’s also the only full frontal nude scene of Daisy Edgar-Jones in the show. I’ve been asked what the point of this scene was, given that they were explicitly avoiding gratuitous nudity. I don’t know the actual answer, but this is probably the most vulnerable that Marianne has been so far in the series. She’s back home where she has no friends, her brother just abused her, and her mother doesn’t care. She remembers her last interaction with Connell (at least the last one we saw) and reaches out to him in this way. It’s her nature to do things for other people before taking care of herself. She’s stripped naked now, both physically and emotionally, and she’s sending the memory of this moment to Connell, perhaps as a cry for help. Was the full frontal necessary? Maybe not, but it’s a memorable scene that has not insignificant emotional impact. If you weren’t sure if Marianne was broken, this is further evidence that she is. (For those scoring at home: series count male full frontal 3, female 1.)
Speaking of Marianne being abused, the next scene is her speaking to Denise before returning to Trinity. The exchange is sad and heartbreaking, Denise justifying to her daughter that life is hard for Alan, and that she’s got it easy because she can get away to Dublin and leave Sligo behind. Actress Aislin MacGuckin is excellent as Denise, and probably deserved more screen time. But this isn’t her story. Denise: “It is very difficult for [Alan], Marianne.” “And that’s my fault?” “That’s not what I’m saying.” “You act like it is.” “That’s not how I feel.” “Why are you living life like that, with him dictating everything? Does it make you happy?” “None of this makes me happy.” “Then why are you allowing it to be like this?” “What do you think I should do? Kick him out? How do you think I should handle this exactly? I’d love to have your insight. Because I’m doing the best I can.” No tears at all from Marianne. Heartbreaking, and shows how lucky Connell is with Lorraine.
Marianne is back in Dublin, in bed with Connell. They’re watching a movie. Marianne is sobbing. Connell asks if it’s because the movie got her. She says she’s feeling off. Connell asks jokingly if she’s pregnant. Callback to his dialogue with Lorraine. Marianne says she just got her period. She asks him to get her some tea. They think of having sex, but don’t. It’s kind of a throwaway scene here, but in the novel it’s a connection to Lorraine having Connell out of wedlock. The movie they watched is the 1964 Jacques Demy classic The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, a movie about young lovers. (I won’t spoil it but can highly recommend it if you enjoy unique films about young love.) In the movie, the character Genevieve, played by Catherine Deneuve, is pregnant. So Connell and Marianne talk about what they would do if Connell got her pregnant. What their families would think of that if Marianne decides to keep the baby. It segues into talking about Marianne’s trip home, but she doesn’t tell him about Alan and Denise’s treatment of her. They start kissing, and Connell makes Marianne come with his hand. Marianne says “Imagine how bitter I’m going to be when you meet someone else and fall in love.” Connell replies “I don’t know. This is a pretty good arrangement, from my point of view.” He then notes, internally, that it is within his power to make her happy. There is a lot lost from the adaptation of this scene to screen.
We get a Connell and Marianne montage, including a shot of Connell’s first publisher rejection, which feeds into his burgeoning anxiety. Niall again asks him about moving in with Marianne. Connell cannot express what it is that’s stopping him. We cut to Joanna eviscerating Jamie and his straight white male privilege. All the while Jamie is being handsy with Marianne. Connell makes himself scarce. Marianne finds him on the porch, smoking a fag. He complains about men taking liberties touching her. Marianne: “You don’t want to touch me, but you get to dictate who else does.” “I touch ya.” “As long as there’s about six closed doors between us and another person who might witness you demonstrating some level of affection towards me.” “Grand.” Oy, Connell. “I think I’m gonna go.” Marianne: “Don’t.” “We’re fine.” “Please don’t go.” He stays, but doesn’t ask her. Niall, you, me, and everyone watching: “You have to be fucking kidding me.”
Next day, they’re getting ready to go to Sophie’s pool party. Marianne: “Do you want to skip it?” “You can’t” “Why?” “It’s just a birthday party, Sophie won’t mind.” Connell looks down. Marianne: “You can’t be indebted to someone forever ’cause they get you a job in a crappy restaurant.” “Who said I was indebted to her?” Connell is obviously triggered. Marianne is oblivious. “When you’re a famous writer you won’t be indebted to anyone. You’ll be lording it over the rest of us.” Connell conjures the rejection letter in his head. Mescal projects deep angst. He’s poor, and he’s a crappy rejected writer, so he’ll stay poor.
They’re off to the party with the wealthy friends of Marianne. He gets pulled by Sophie into a pool polo game while Marianne sits on the sidelines. Jamie sits beside her and asks her if she’s right for Connell. We don't see a response. Focus on Mescal’s face. Connell’s anxiety swells as he’s surrounded by the trappings of excess that he’ll never be able to afford. He spies Marianne, swims over to her, sits beside her and manages the Herculean effort of putting his arm around her and kissing her shoulder in view of Marianne’s friends. She appreciates his effort. Connell: “Marianne?” “Yeah?” “It’s nothing.” Connell gets choked up. Marianne completely misses it. Niall, you, me, and everyone watching: “You have to be fucking kidding me.”
Cut back to the scene from the beginning of the episode. Marianne in the kitchen. We hear a door slam. Marianne goes to the sink, drops the glass, and starts sobbing. We see Connell walking away from Marianne’s flat. Cue end credits. Niall, you, me, and everyone watching: “You have to be fucking kidding me.” xxx
Episode music: “Too Much” by Carly Rae Jepsen (pre-title scene)
Directed by Lenny Abrahamson, Written by Sally Rooney and Alice Birch, Director of Photography Suzy Lavelle, Editing by Nathan Nugent, Score by Stephen Rennicks, Production Design by Lucy van Lonkhuyzen, Costumes by Lorna Marie Mugan xxx
If you made it this far, I’m sorry for the walls of text. I’m writing all of this to try and get Normal People out of my head. I’m beginning to think this was all a bad idea. xoxox
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2019.05.05 02:10 jooxii Voyeur house tv villa
Last updated: 12/07/19 Edit 32: Couldn't help myself. Added Urban Jurgënsen and Manufacture Royale. Thread is archived so no promises, but feel free to message me with any requests!
A. Lange & Söhne: You work in investments, but nowhere as common as Wall Street. You have been known to casually ask to compare balance bridges with Patek owners.
Alpina: You are subscribed to Outside magazine, and can quote passages from Krakauer’s “Into the Wild” by by heart. You own a pair of serious hiking boots, but they languish in your closet, unworn and unmuddied. You could not afford a Rolex Explorer. If pressed, you would not be able to articulate why anyone would actually need an “Alpinist” watch.
Audemars Piguet: You are a rapper, and you think the brand name is “Royal Oak”.
Apple Watch: You are either a secretary or nine-figure earning CEO at a Fortune 500 company. You use your Apple Watch Series 4 to track both your weekly jogs and chicken roasts. You are vaguely familiar with the idea that other, “old-fashioned” watches exist, but assume they will soon disappear once they are no longer repaired by their manufacturers.
Azimuth: Your two most treasured possessions are an autographed photo of Leonard Nimoy and a replica copy of the Voyager probe Golden Record. You can only dream of owning an MB&F.
Ball: As you walk through your LED lit hallway, down the stairs illuminated by motion sensing flood lamps, and towards your basement model train table outfitted with 3000 Lumen overhead halogen bulbs, you’re gladly reassured by your watch's Tritium lume - for the brief second it takes to find the switch.
Balticus: You are either a metrosexual 20-something working in Warsaw, or a teenage boy living in rural Estonia. You don’t get to play with your Overwatch team as much as you’d like due to the time difference. You dream of moving to Berlin or New York.
Baume et Mercier: You were touched when your wife got you a Clifton for your wedding. You have since gotten a Rolex, but wear your B&M on special occasions. Thankfully, she got you an automatic, not a quartz.
Bell & Ross: You think IWCs are a pale imitation of a Boeing 767 flight instrument. You want to wear the entire flight panel.
Blancpain: Let’s be real, unless you're Vladimir Putin, the only watch you wear from this brand is the Fifty Fathoms - and it never goes near water.
Bovet: You are the president of an esteemed French bank, say, Société Générale. While browsing the shops near your villa in Nice, you came across a lovely Fleurier, which you bought without even considering a discount. So much less common than a Breguet.
Breitling: You aspire to be a pilot. You think the Breitling Emergency is the coolest watch ever made. You are unfamiliar with the term “in-house”.
Bremont: You are an Anglophile. After purchasing two models from the boutique, you are hoping one day to be invited to a Townhouse event. You are either blissfully unaware, or painfully so, of the concept of “resale value”. Though you publicly state it doesn’t matter, you are secretly jealous that Tudor is moving in-house. Even you are somewhat embarrassed by their origin story.
Breguet: You properly pronounce “Tourbillon”. You cringe when others refer to dial markings as mere “Arabic numerals”. You wish more people understood the history of horology. Your dream is to visit Paris.
Bulova: You are either a middle-aged man obsessively collecting the 1970's Accutrons of your youth, or you picked this up from the jewelry counter at Kohl's - with a coupon.
Burberry: You are either a skinny-tie wearing American office drone, or a Chav named Derek living in Slough. In either scenario, you believe the checkmark on the dial exudes class.
BVLGARI - Men's: You wanted a watch that looked like a Diesel, but more expensive.
BVLGARI - Women's: While you already have a diamond Datejust, you wanted something a little flashier to go with your evening-wear Chanel handbag. You delight in correcting others when they attempt to read the name on the dial. Even watch geeks will admit your Serpanti is kind of cool.
Carl F. Bucherer: You are a Chinese national who has never visited the United States. Your uncle’s textile factory has vaunted your family into the upper-middle classes, and it is expected that you project a certain image to distinguish yourself from the commoners. The saleswoman assured you that your Manero is for “a man of distinction” and will fit perfectly with your other internationally recognized luxury item, your cherry-red Buick GL8 Sedan.
Cartier: You like beautiful things, and are possibly a woman.
Casio: In school, your glasses were held together with Scotchtape, and the mechanical pencil in your shirt-front pocket always jammed, but your trusty Calculator Watch never failed. You are shocked that others are copying your look ironically.
Certina: You are the 33-year old manager of a Coop supermarket outside of Davos, Switzerland. While you believe fancy watches are for tourists, your Powermatic was listed “Uhren 50% Rabatt!” and looks pretty sweet.
Chanel: When you awake, you reach for your bottle of No. 5 - sprayed at the pulse points - before you check your phone. You love your ceramic white J12 for the way it effortlessly graces most of your outfits. You spend most days at work surreptitiously surfing TheRealReal, desperately trying to emulate your idol, Coco, on the cheap. Secretly, you wish the whole Nazi collaborator thing was just an ugly rumor.
Chopard: When you got engaged, you insisted on a “Chopard for Love” ring in a platinum setting. While your finance-bro fiancee couldn’t be there on the special day, he gave you a Happy Diamonds to go with it on your three-year anniversary. He will marry you. Eventually. Right?
Christiaan Van Der Klaauw: You are an unusually successful astrophysicist with a NY Times bestselling book. You wear you hair at a rakish angle, and unabashedly use the phase “a priori” in everyday conversation. You actually understand the concept of Sideral time. You first heard of the brand from the oligarch who endowed your research chair using laundered Petro dollars.
Christopher Ward: You can’t afford to spend more than $1K on a watch. You’ve come to actually love your Trident. Secretly, you think the new logo makes your watch look like a toy.
Citizen: You work for NASA, and your job is to set the clocks on the GPS satellites.
Concord: The year is 1986. While all the other middle-managers are celebrating their promotions with Trans Ams, women, or Rolexs, you chose the Concord Saratoga. Placing the leftover cash into Lincoln Savings and Loan bonds and a custom suit with serious shoulder pads, you choose to invest in things that last.
Corum: You spend most days at your estate's dock, "working" on your teak-decked Sloop, so much so that your wife - for whose birthday you bought a subscription to Sail magazine - calls your Coxswain when she wishes to find you. You exclusively wear Sperry’s and have been known to sport a racing flag tie unironically. You know nothing about watches.
Cuervo y Sobrinos: You are a third generation Cuban-American named Jorge living in Buena Vista, Miami. You drink Bacardi Gold as you grill pulled pork at cookouts and play dominos with your Abuelo. You chose your Rubusto to honor your family, culture, and heritage. Secretly, you’re terrified that someone might find out your legal name is George - and that you speak no Spanish.
Damasko: You earnestly believe that form must always follow function. You lament the paucity of good quality, acid-resistant PVD watches on the market. As you wear steel-toed hiking boots daily, you wouldn’t be caught dead handling, much less wearing, a gold dress watch.
Daniel Wellington: You are a millennial who is into latte art. You think Humphrey Bogart looked so cool in old movies with his suit and trench coat. You are unaware of the terms "quartz" or "automatic". If you're honest, you had a hard time choosing your watch, as they all look the same on the website. You pay $5 a pop at the jewelry store to change Nato straps, which you recently got into.
De Bethune: You successfully sold your internet company - with no revenue, let alone income - for $450 million dollars. You love technology, shiny things, and the color blue. You have a life-size replica of the Star Trek: The Next Generation bridge in your Rec room.
Diesel: You are either a teenager with vociferous opinions on the PC vs. Console gaming wars, or a playboy far too busy dating multiple women simultaneously to know what that is.
Dornblüth & Sohn: You own a grandfather clock, which you wind daily. Your have the same opinion on Roman numerals as on your ex-wife - cluttered, fussy, and confusing. You drive a vintage BMW - in your opinion, the epitome of a functional automobile - before the snazzy marketing made them much too flashy.
Ebel: Fresh out of law school, you just got your first associate-level job at a big firm. You wanted something pretty but professional to wear to work. You are confused as to why on dates, men excitedly ask to see your watch, then get close, look disappointed, and say ”oh…an Ebel...”.
Edox/Mido: You are a 23 year old German man, fresh out of the University of Heidelberg. Your starter job and soon to be expiring student benefits did not allow you to stretch for a Longines. The salesman’s face visibly fell when you walked through his door.
Eterna: Your KonTiki was a Jomashop 75% off gamble. You have since become a fanboy, going so far as to grow a beard and voraciously reading Thor Heyerdahl's memoirs. You will order a nature survival kit, tent, and water purification pills online before you lose all interest and snuggle back up to your PS4.
Fortis: You are a young German man living in Düsseldorf. You saved up quite a few paychecks at your Aldi managerial job to afford your Stratoliner. You wish the SR-71 Blackbird was still around. You have re-watched Top Gun 23 times, while imagining that your handle would be “The Baron”. If you ever actually visited an American airbase, you would be disgusted with the wastefulness and vow never to return.
Fossil: You are a 25 year old man at your first job. Your workplace has open-plan offices and “Sunday Fundays”. You carefully buckle up your leather watch before dates, and make sure it shows under your cuff.
Franck Muller: You are a jocular pediatrician, or possibly, a professional clown. You have a weakness for Tonneau cases and Art Deco numerals.
Frederique Constant: You could not afford a JLC Master Ultra Thin Moon, so you got this instead. You are unsuccessfully trying to make a 42mm dress watch work for your wrist. You were shocked, and a little disappointed, when you learned that the company was founded in 1988.
Garmin: You are subscribed to Men's Health and GQ. Before leaving for work, you lace up your running sneakers and strap on your Forerunner in case you can get a quick run in on the way home. This never happens. Your Bowflex sits quietly in your garage, gleaming and untouched.
Ginault: You spent $1,449 on a Rolex Submariner Homage. You while away countless man-hours on the forums, defending the brand from baseless accusations. You will ultimately purchase Hulk, Pepsi, and Daytona homages from other brands, and with time, will have spent more on replicas than the cost of the real thing.
Girard-Perregaux: You swear that the Laureato is “the next Overseas”, and that the Golden Bridges are an under appreciated masterpiece. You purposely chose a 1966 over a JLC Master Ultra Thin. Secretly, you wonder if you made a mistake.
Glashütte Original: You, overall, cannot afford a Lange.
Glycine: You’ve outgrown the flashy Invicta's of your youth, but are still hesitant to go smaller than 46mm in a watch. Secretly, the vaguely military associations of your Combat Sub mildly arouse you. If he were alive to see it, Eugène Meylan would throw an egg at your face.
Glycine - Vintage: You live in an old age home, with your WWII Purple Heart and military induction papers tucked away discreetly in a corner. You still wear the Airman which you bought on the base at Ramstein in ’49. Sadly, your grandson only visits to eye it covetously.
Graham: You couldn’t resist a watch whose crown is easily confused with a grenade’s firing pin. Your Volkswagen Golf has vanity plates and a silkscreened pin-up on the rear window. You have a shrine to your grandfather in your room, a WWII vet with the British Expeditionary Force, though he only got to flee Dunkirk. Even you suspect the “Watchmakers Since 1659” claim is crap.
Grand Seiko: You think a Spring Drive is the coolest thing since sliced bread. You frequently photograph your Cocktail Time with your Sony camera or, in a pinch, your latest generation iPhone. You have bookmarked Youtube videos of the Grand Seiko factory - in case you meet someone with a Swiss made watch who needs a little convincing. You wish Seiko would do marketing better.
Grönefeld: While trained at RADA, you have peaked as a recognizable, but under-appreciated Hollywood actor. You have impeccable taste and a thing for Salmon dials. You wanted something dressier than your sponsored but boring Omega to wear to the Met Gala.
G-Shock: You are a junior in college, or an emergency room physician. You delight in taking your G-Shock to watch meet-ups, to the horror of the traditionalists. You recently took up mountain biking just to post Instagram photos of your watch on the trails.
H. Moser & Cie: You have a mischievous sense of humor, and in high school, were known to film pranks you pulled on your friends. You have an insatiable weakness for fume dials. While you can’t quite put your finger on it, you suspect the brand will be worth a lot in coming years - or so you tell anyone who will listen. Deep down, you are terrified your Endeavor might just be a passing fad.
Hamilton: You recently graduated college. You spent hours on the watch forums, debating between this or a Longines. You finally settled on the JazzmasteKhaki, though the salesman couldn't tell you anything about it. The highlight of your life was when a random woman on a date said, “nice watch”. You almost married her.
Hautlence: You have a game room in your Park Avenue, per-war classic six filled with pinball machines. You wear pink glasses, to let your underlings at your Goldman Sachs job know that you can be “cool” too. You are not.
Hermes: You are either a perfumer living in the Montmarte district of Paris, or an American woman with an unerringly good fashion sense.
Hublot: You are, simply, wrong.
HYT: You are a successful electrical engineer with lucrative patents to your name, or an internet startup founder that actually solved and monetized a hard problem in computer science. You love nothing more than to hand your H1.0 over to curious passerby, while pontificating upon the intricacies of fluid dynamics.
Invicta - Type 1: You are a non-watch geek dad in a suburban shopping mall. You wanted to get "something nice" for yourself. You find sub 46mm watches "too girly". You enjoy explaining to others, with wide-eyed delight, how your watch is powered by "moving your arm".
Invicta - Type 2: You are in high school, without a summer job. You think the Rolex Submariner is the perfect modern, go anywhere, do anything watch. You feel ostracized on the watch forums, but can’t help but smile when you see your Pro Diver on your wrist.
IWC: You are openly not a pilot, but enjoy having an altimeter strapped to your wrist.
Jacob & Co: You are a formerly successful, now destitute rapper. You pawned this watch at a significant loss.
Jaeger-LeCoultre: You exclusively dress in suits, except on bank holidays, when you wear chinos and your Reverso. You are frequently found on watch forums extolling “the watchmaker's watchmaker” virtues. You think 100M of waterproofing is all anyone should ever need. Your will instructs your heirs to bury you with your Atmos clock, as they surely won’t appreciate it. You hope one day to be able to roll your R’s like the guy in the boutique.
Jaquet Droz: You are either a well diversified collector, or an Arabian Shiek from an oil rich kingdom. If the latter, your other watch is a Rolex Daytona Rainbow with diamond bezel.
Johan Eric: You googled “watch” on Amazon and this is the first thing you found with Prime shipping. In general, you are decidedly not picky, both in watches and in life.
JS Watch Co: While you used to have a very generous circle of friends, your incessant droning on about your trip to Iceland and the sweet Frisland you scored there soured even your most steadfast companions. You now spend most days online, nostalgically looking at Tripadvisor reviews for restaurants in Reykjavik, or re-watching the Lord of the Rings for the twelfth time.
Junghans: You were just hired by a big design firm, but on a starter salary. You visit your local art museum on “free admission weekends”, and hang around free gallery shows. You have a small tattoo on your right bicep. You hope to upgrade to a Nomos one day.
Klasse14: You favorite Instagram influencer subtly bombarded you with sponsored posts showcasing the brand. You hope your Miss Volare will one day star in your own epic selfie in front of the Eiffel Tower.
Kobold: Your “keeper” test is if she’ll watch all six seasons of the Sopranos with you. Your most treasured possession is an autographed napkin from the late, great, James Gandolfini. Since his passing, your interest in the brand has cooled, and secretly, you worry that your Spirit of America is just a more expensive Shinola.
Laco: As you gaze admiringly at the Saarbrücken on your wrist, you find yourself wondering: Was Hitler really that bad?
Lip: You are a Frenchman originally from Toulouse. You work for the Bureau of Weights and Measurements, converting metric measurements to Napoleonic Mesures Usuelles for those still living in the First Republic. While you would prefer to wear an Omega, you can only imagine the shocked “Non!” That would emanate from the mustachioed lips of your supervisor, Gaspard, upon seeing it, and you’d rather avoid an employee tribunal. You’d win, but it’s a hassle.
Longines: You just got your first job out of college. You are looking for something classy and professional to go along with your first real suit. You will one day own a JLC.
Lorus: You are a street-peddler living in Hyderabad. You cannot afford a Seiko 5, but not for any reason that would be remotely funny.
Luminox: You constantly talk about “doing an Ironman”. You sleep in a Naval Academy t-shirt and proudly fly the “thin blue line" US flag on your porch. You make vague allusions to former service when asked, but secretly, you were only a mall cop in the 90’s.
Manufacture Royale: Liberace would like to know where you got your watch.
Marathon: You are a former United States Marine, 3rd Battalion, 6th. You wore this watch on patrol in Kandahar, where your buddy scratched his initials on the case back. This is either a faithful re-telling, or you have entirely imagined the above scenario for color at your current office job.
Maurice Lacroix: The year is 1995. Bill Clinton is president of an economically resurgent USA. You just got promoted to Assistant to the Regional Department President of your longtime employer, IBM. Having recently heard about the value of a “Fine Swiss Watch”, you decided to purchase your Pontos after seeing an ad for it in the pages of Sports Illustrated. It feels right.
MB&F: You are an angel investor in various internet start-ups. You believe in “thinking different” and “changing the world”. Having gone through the various Pateks, Langes, and Journes that befit your station, you now find pretty much every other watch brand ridiculously boring. You wear an Apple watch concurrently on your other wrist.
MeisterSinger: You purposefully wear subtly mismatched socks with your corduroys. You carry your daily possessions in a fanny pack, considering it more practical than a messenger bag. You are perpetually 10-15 minutes late to all your appointments. Secretly, you have a thing for amputee girls.
Michael Kors: You are a 16-33 year old woman. Your house is filled with rose-gold colored accessories. You shop at Macy’s, where you purchased this watch to match your handbag. In the watch world, you are actually one of the sane ones.
Mondaine: You either have a collection of hair mousses to apply based on the weather, or are an oddly obsessive spotter of Swiss electric trains.
Montblanc: You couldn’t afford a JLC. You have since taken to the watch forums, declaring the superiority of Minerva, stating, “it’s over for the over $5K’s”. Secretly, you also hate stacked movement complications.
Montegrappa - Chaos by Sylvestor Stallone: What the hell is wrong with you?
Moritz Grossman: You are the head of an old family manufacturing firm in Bavaria. Your frauline, Hilda, urged you to finally treat yourself and upgrade from the reliable but tired Swatch on your wrist. Feeling a Lange was too recognizable to the men on the assembly line, you chose the Benu Power reserve, but only to wear at board meetings.
Movado: You are either a 21 year old man wearing a Movado Bold at the club, or an 83 year old gentlemen wearing an original Museum piece. There is no middle ground.
Mühle Glashütte: Your evangelical zeal for the brand makes you the human embodiment of those “allow notifications?” pop-ups. You dream of becoming a mariner.
MVMT: You are a millennial who drives a motorcycle. You have a collection of leather jackets. You hope someone comments on how well your watch matches your sunglasses.
Nixon: You are a 32 year old man named either Chad or Brad living in Encinitas, California. As you spend most days on the beach surfing in your board shorts, you have a perpetual tan even in winter. You aren’t into watches, but your Base Tide was giving you good vibes from the surf-shop window, and it matches your leather Yogi bracelet perfectly.
Nomos: While you initially could not afford a Swiss made watch in art school, you are now a successful Bahaus-style architect. You have a membership to your local modern art museum. While you prefer espresso, you drink drip from a vintage Braun coffee maker. Apple “Keynote Days” are like Christmas in June.
Ochs and Junior: You sincerely collect promotional posters for modern art exhibits. You have an interesting job in either advanced engineering or product design at a well funded startup in Berlin. Somewhat obsessively, you refuse to wear any items with visible brand names. Even you can’t always tell what the hell the date is on your perpetual calendar.
Oris: You are frequently found on watch forums, starting, “Why buy an Omega when you can get virtually the same quality for half the cost?” You think the Sixty Five is exactly what your grandfather would’ve worn - if he was cooler, and not a rural school teacher from Iowa. You are secretly trying to save for a Rolex Sub, but need the cash for your PADI training.
Omega: You are intimately familiar with all 12 manned Apollo missions. You eagerly anticipate the next James Bond film. You refer to your Seamaster as “the thinking man’s Sub, with a better movement”. Bonus points if you know who George Daniels is.
Orient: You are a senior in high school. You love your Bambino, but as you know watches, you don’t claim it’s equivalent to something more expensive. You dream of winning the lottery. You are pure.
Panerai: You frequently exclaim, “What’s the point of wearing a watch if no one sees it?” You live in California, and exclusively wear short sleeves. You are unusually familiar with the Italian Navy’s WWII operations, glossing over the period 1940-1943.
Parmigiani Fleurier: You are the scion of an old, proud Italian banking family. While you of course have a few Patek’s tucked away in the vault at your Lago Maggiora villa, your father, Luca, gifted you your Tonda Tourbillon because he errantly believed it was an Italian brand “like from the old days, bene!” You don’t have the heart to correct him.
Parnis: You desire a replica Daytona, but your country’s customs force is extremely efficient at confiscating goods that violate trademarks.
Patek Philippe - Type 1: You took off from work to watch the Henry Graves Super Complication auction livestream. You think the Nautilus is overvalued, preferring the khaki green Aquanaut instead. You are possibly John Mayer, but if not, you hope one day to actually own your own Patek.
Patek Philippe - Type 2: You are a Russian oligarch. You assert that a hacking seconds “damages the movement”. Though you’ll never say so openly, you are secretly jealous of the finishing on a Lange. You feel reassured when you see one of those “For the next generation” ads.
Philippe DufouLaurent FerrieF.P. Journe: You are a Russian oligarch, but with exquisite taste.
Piaget: You claim that the Calatrava and Patrimony "smell of old man". You frequently end arguments with "yeah, but...thinest movement in the world." You cannot actually afford a Calatrava or Patrimony.
Poljot: In the old days, you were a MiG-23 fighter pilot for the Motherland. Your Poljot, along with your state-issued Volga GAZ-24 sedan, marked you as a man of importance among the proletariat. Sadly, in your current job as grocery store guard, only the old babushkas recognize your former glory. It would kill you to know that 30-year old gamers bought your watch online because they thought the Cyrillic on the dial looked cool.
Rado: You are a material scientist tenured at a prestigious university. You have no interest in watches, but could not pass up the mystery and wonder of a watch that never scratches. Everything from your pots to your pants are coated in Teflon.
Raymond Weil: Are you sure you aren’t wearing a Maurice Lacroix with Roman numerals?
RGM Watch Co: You are a 62-year old Boomer living in Pittsburgh, PA. As you are retired - with pension - from your job as a chemical engineer for US Steel, you have plenty of time to hobnob on Timezone.com. You post multiple photos of your 801-COE in various lights, to the eager approval of all twelve forums members. You can’t tell anyone, but you voted for Donald Trump.
Richard Mille: If you weren’t an American billionaire, you’d probably be buying an Invicta - with the logos removed, you surely couldn’t tell the difference. You make sure to wear your watch when interviewed by Fortune, with the sleeves of your silk Dolce & Gabana shirt rolled up.
Roger Dubuis: You are a Argentinian Striker, recently relocated to the UK with Manchester United. Stacy, your loyal WAG, got you the Excalibur after you instructed your assistant to leave notes around your Wilmslow mansion with explicit purchasing instructions. All involved acted surprised on your birthday. If you are being honest, you sometimes confuse it with your Richard Mille.
Roger W. Smith: You are the scion of a Japanese telecommunications fortune. You love discussing horology, but only online. You are that unusual combination of billionaire and introvert, perhaps due to your secret insecurity in your own abilities. You fantasize about how one day, Otuo-San will notice your Series 2, and nod approvingly at you with his tight-lipped grimace. In your own quiet way, this is how you show off.
Rolex - Sub (Ha!) Type A: ROLEX ROLEX ROLEX. YOU CAN’T BUY ANYTHING BUT A ROLEX IT’S THE ONLY THING WITH RESALE VALUE. HAVE YOU SEEN MY TWO-TONE SUB WITH THE CYCLOPS? I LIKE IT ‘CAUSE IT HAS WRIST PRESENCE.
Rolex - Sub Type B: You frequently re-watch all Sean Connery Bond films, asserting that Daniel Craig is not a “real” Bond. You know the difference between the 1016 Caliber 1560 and 1016 Caliber 1570. You believe steel can stretch with minimal effort. You prefer watches with rusted dials and no date. As you frequently speak full sentences consisting solely of reference numbers, it is assumed by passerby that you work for a secretive government agency.
Rolex - Sub Type C: You are a successful Italian-American contractor. You wear a two-tone Datejust - your only watch - which never leaves your wrist. On vacation at the resort in Cabo, you make sure your wrist is angled properly so the waiter can see it when taking your order.
Rolex - Sub Type D: When you found out your wife was pregnant, you rushed to purchase a "birth year" Sub. Your son will not get to wear it until you are dead.
Rolex - Sub Type E: You are a researcher who spends all day next to an MRI machine. While you never wore a watch before, you found yourself suddenly desperate for one after seeing an eerily personalized ad for the Millgauss pop up on Facebook. After the initial triumphant forum pic, the novelty wore off, and most days you just check the wall clock.
Romain Jerome: You have no compunctions wearing a watch made from the Titanic. You have more money than sense.
Scuderia Ferrari: Your friends know not to utter the word “Lamborghini” for fear of starting a rant. Your firstborn son is named Enzo. Your Pilota watch, Ferarri ball-cap, keychain, and limited edition Scuderia Ferrari for Ray-Ban aviators all proudly accompany you as you step into your 2004 Honda Civic.
Seagull: It took quite a few shifts at the Dairy Queen, but you finally got your Ocean Star. You feel like you need a dress piece too, but are unsure when you’d ever wear it. One day, with a JLC on your wrist, you will look back upon this time wistfully.
Seiko: You are starting college this Fall. You spend most days on watch forums, hoping to find newbies asking for help so that you can steer them your way. You think the Seiko 5 is the best value per dollar in horology. Deep down, you know that if you ever won the lottery, you’d trash them all for a stable of platinum Langes.
Sekonda: On the way to a job interview as a Transport of London station cleaner, you decide a watch will make you look more reliable. You grab the cheapest Sekonda Classic from Mr. Singh’s newsstand, and make sure to check it copiously during your interview. You are surprised when you do not get the job. Changing the dead battery three days later, you are puzzled by the Cyrlic writing inside the case.
Shinola: You are a Clinton, or an oddly proud Detroit native. You think the “Made in the USA” controversy was a hit job egged on by Hodinkee. You have average sized wrists, but think they are larger than they really are. You have a weakness for wire lugs.
Sinn: You are subscribed to the WatchBuys newsletter. You cannot afford an IWC. You post numerous photos of your Sinn 356 Flieger, in a vain attempt to reassure yourself that the acrylic crystal was the right choice.
Skagen: You drive a used but well loved Volvo. While you know nothing about watches, you found it cumbersome to check your dumb phone for the time, and began your search for something practical but affordable. As you know the quickest shortcut to get to the cafeteria at your local IKEA - where you get the meatballs weekly - an ostensibly Danish watch held some appeal. You are unaware that Denmark and Sweden are different countries.
Speake-Marin: ”A touch loud? What do you mean, leopard print pants with a leather jacket is loud?”
Squale: You cannot afford a Rolex Submariner.
Steinhart: You could not afford a Rolex or IWC. While you truly enjoy wearing your Hulk Sub homage, deep-down, you question where the line is between imitation and theft.
Stowa: You enjoy having an altimeter strapped to your wrist, but cannot afford an IWC. You would love to mention its WWII history, but are unsure how to do so without appearing insensitive.
Stührling: American Airlines flight 1257, direct to Dallas, seat 48B. Two hours in, You saw the Depthmaster in the pages of SkyMall and knew you couldn't pass it up.
Swatch: You are a child in elementary school, or a successful, established artist. You love color. You have a watch collection, but they are all Swatches. You wish you could buy another one of the Irony whose crystal cracked when you dropped it on your kitchen floor.
Swiss Legend: You could’ve bought the Esq. brand chrono - with the same Chinese Quartz movement - for $139, but then it would’t say “Swiss” on the dial, would it?
Tag Heuer: Your first “real” watch was a Link, which you initially saw in the pages of Golf Digest/Tennis Magazine. For the longest time, you had a crush on Maria Sharapova. The chip on your shoulder is slightly lessened when you see photos of vintage Carreras online.
Timex: You are a senior citizen, or an aspiring US presidential candidate. In either case, your grandson is suddenly asking to borrow your watch.
Tissot: You just got your first job out of college, but it pays less than the Longines fellow. You appreciate either classic or ridiculously bold design. After a long career, you will one day own a Rolex.
Triwa: You are a full-time Instagram influencer. Perhaps one day, you will regret the purchase of your Donald Trump “Comb Over” watch - but not today.
Tudor: You assert that the Black Bay 58 is what Rolex “used to be”. You take pride in the quality of the bezel on your Pelagos. You either never will admit, or say all the time, that you wish you had a Rolex.
Tutima Glashütte:As the only way to acquire a Lange would be to sell a kidney, you eagerly sought out an alternative still made in your mythical Glashütte. You fancy yourself a sportsman, though this is usually only expressed by the bench press. While you wear your Grand Flieger daily, if pressed, you could not articulate why, exactly, your watch had to be German.
Ulysse Nardin - Type 1: What exactly do you think you are, some kind of enthusiast?
Ulysse Nardin - Type 2: As soon as you saw the Minute Repeater Voyeur - with a lifelike orgy scene on the dial, complete with moving “parts” - you knew you needed that kind of artistry in your life.
Urban Jurgënsen: Was your watch produced by the Swedish Chef?
Vacheron Constantin: You think a Calatrava is an ugly duckling compared to the all-encompassing beauty of a Patrimony. You refer to the period from 1987 - 1996 as “the Dark Times”. You wish resale value were higher, but blame Patek fanboys.
Various Microbrands: You are subscribed to the “Affordable Watches” forum on WatchUSeek. You have a Google Alert on Kickstarter so you don’t miss the latest limited release. You are saving for a vintage Rolex, which increasingly appears out of reach. You are filled with a mixture of delight and despair when someone asks, "is that a Rolex?" of your Mk II Nassua. You have a love/hate relationship with Jason Lim of Halios.
Various Vintage: You are Fred Savage. You think anything over 36mm is garish. While you wear your vintage Omega (original dial, of course) all the time, you have been known to slip on your modern Rolex Sub for the beach. You spend your weekends at estate sales, dreaming of coming across an unrecognized Patek for $150, which you bargain down to a clean $100.
Victorinox: After your brief fling with Chinese watches, you decided it was time to step up to Swiss made. You wear your Fieldforce proudly in Econ 101, desperately hoping Brittany will notice it. Plus, you already had the matching backpack.
Vostok: You are a value-oriented teen gamer, or an elderly Russian pensioner. You have 9 inch wrists.
Zenith: You make half-hour long YouTube videos consisting of you chanting into the camera, “El Primero. El Primero. First Automatic. El Primero.“ You scoff at the JLC 751A as a rushed copy. Deep down, you believe the world is unjust, and fear your brand will never be properly recognized.
Zodiac/Doxa: You are a certified Master Scuba Diver Trainer. You smile indulgently at your wealthy tourist clients, who have Submariners and Fifty Fathoms on their wrist. After you've been tipped, you love nothing better than to hand over your SeaWolf/Shark for inspection, casually stating "This baby's been down to 250 feet, no problems. How about yours?"
Edit: Adding some more as suggestions. Last batch was: Frederique Constant, Junghans, Hamilton, Nomos, Panerai, Tag, Tissot, Tudor. Also split Invicta into two. Thanks for my first gold and kind words stranger! Edit 2: Some are disappearing when I make edits, re-added Swatch. Edit 3: Added Bell & Ross, Baume et Mercier, Sinn, Various Microbrands. Edit 4: Added Various Vintage. Thanks agin for the gold! Edit 5: Added Glashütte Original, Jaquet Droz, Stowa. Edit 6: Couldn't help myself, added Jacob & Co, Oris, Squale, Zodiac/Doxa. Edit 7: Added Fossil and Michael Kors. Modified Daniel Wellington. My first Platinum, thank you! Edit 8: Added GP and Zenith, split Seiko/Grand Seiko, and added one more Rolex Sub (phrasing!) Type (D). Recognized John Mayer as the Patek expert he really is. Edit 9: Added Movado. Slight tweak to Hamilton. Edit 10: Added Piaget. Edit 11: Added Montblanc, Richard Mille, Shinola, and Steinhart. Edit 12: Added Bremont, Edox/Mido, Parnis. Edit 13: Added Christopher Ward, De Bethune, and MB&F. Modified Frederique Constant. Edit 14: Added Bulova, Franck Muller. Edit 15: Modified Franck Muller, added Marathon. Edit 16: Added Laco (hat tip to Byki!), Maurice Lacroix. Edit 16: Added Swiss Legend. Edit 17: Added Damasko, Dornblüth & Sohn, Garmin, Klasse14, and split Ulysse Nardin into Types 1&2. Edit 17: Added Ball (hat tip to AudiMars and icecityx1221). Clarified that 12 Apollo missions only were manned. Thanks for the sticky Mods! I am humbled. Edit 18: Split Casio into Casio and G-Shock; added Concord and Ebel. Edited Marathon for clarity. Edit 19: Added Bovet, Hermes, HYT, Seagull, and Victorinox. Edit 20: Added Chopard, Corum. Edit 21: Added BVLGARI, Diesel, Glycine new and vintage, and Rolex Sub Type E. Edit 22: Added Chanel, Christiaan Van Der Klaauw, and Rado. Edit 23: Added Apple Watch, H. Moser & Cie, Ochs and Junior, and Scuderia Ferrari. Edit 24: Added Montegrappa Chaos, Romain Jerome, Stürhling Edit 25: Added Azimuth, Certina, Ginault, Graham, Johan Eric, Lip, Sekonda, Skagen. Edit 26: Added Carl F. Bucherer and Nixon. Edit 27: Added Alpina, Meister Singer, and updated Sekonda. Edit 28: Thanks so much for the Gold! Added Cuervo y Sobrinos, Eterna, Hautlence, Grönefeld, Luminox, Moritz Grossman, Speake-Marin, and Triwa. Edit 29: Added Balticus, Burberry, Kobold, and JS Watch Company. Edit 30: Added Lorus, Roger W. Smith, Mühle Glashütte and Tutima Glashütte. Edit 31: Added Fortis, Mondaine, Poljot, RGM Watch Co. and Roger Dubuis. Edit 32: Couldn't help myself. Added Urban Jurgënsen and Manufacture Royale. Thread is archived so no promises, but feel free to message me with any requests. Last updated: 12/07/19
submitted by jooxii to WatchesCirclejerk [link] [comments]
2019.03.04 12:00 kass_the_cook Voyeur villa tv house
I need to get this out here while it's still fresh on my mind.
I think we all have probably been where I was this weekend: two dollars left in my bank account, behind on a car payment and rent coming due and not a single job lined up until the following week. For a woman barely surviving on her own after a nasty end to a relationship, this was my criteria for the end of the world.
I needed money and I needed it fast.
Of course it was really no ones fault but my own. The holidays had been kind to me, in my profession it's the one time of year you can really count on your clientele paying extravagantly for their catering.
Sadly, I also got a nasty divorce to hit me right before the new year so most of my money went to court costs and the rest went to try and get my kids a few late Christmas gifts.
I'm not saying any of this to make you feel sorry for me. Just a statement of facts as to how exactly I started browsing odd jobs online at sites sponsored by third parties. You know the ones. But hey, I was desperate.
I've used them once or twice before back in college and found there was one thing I could count on, the clients were always rich. So I set up a new profile and started browsing gigs right away.
I probably spent a good thirty minutes and filled out three or four queries before an advertisement really piqued my interest.
I typically copy and paste the details of any application info into a personal doc for myself just in case my client tries to balk on an agreement later on.
Here's word for word what the post said:
Seeking private caterer for an evening to rememberAnd that was it. No email, no payment info. Just a plain Jane sort of post that was buried amid a hundred others.
The right candidate must be discreet and willing to work odd hours. Will provide my own equipment and refreshments and pay in advance any price for those willing to commit to the entire dinner. Come alone.
2017.06.08 04:07 tombstoneshadows28 Villa voyeur house tv
2016.12.04 15:29 emememaker73 Villa voyeur house tv
· 1. Bodies of woman, dog found along shore of Nippersink Lake in Fox Lake (Chicago Tribune)
· 2. Gas station on U.S. 45 near Lake Villa robbed at gunpoint (CBS 2)
· 3. Maine South High School football team ends No. 1-ranked Loyola Academy's 30-game winning streak to win Class 8A championship (Chicago Tribune)
· 4. Civil-rights complaint against Waukegan School District 60 will mean staff, students to go through anti-sexual-harassment training, changes to policy on gender discrimination (Chicago Tribune/Lake County News-Sun)
· 5. Three people, including an infant, injured in crash on Eisenhower in Forest Park (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 6. Neuqua Valley High School students unveil new Naperville city flag during TEDx Naperville speakers conference (Daily Herald)
· 7. Plainfield South High School loses Class 7A football game to East St. Louis, following lawsuit by Fenwick High School over miscalled play (Chicago Tribune)
· 8. Man wearing Cubs World Series Champions sweatshirt robs Willow Springs bank on Black Friday (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 9. Northwest Indiana seeing hotel-building boom (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 10. Prompt Ambulance to discontinue serving Merrillville after contract expires Feb. 1, 2017 (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 11. Portage police officer injured after driver runs red light, T-bones squad car at Old Porter Road (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 12. Indiana Department of Natural Resources police investigate hunter's death in tree stand in Schererville (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 13. LaPorte County moves to take control of plans for Kingsbury Industrial Park rail spur (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 14. Merrillville reaches agreement with Gary Public Transportation Corp. that may bring shuttle-bus service to Broadway by mid-summer 2017 (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 15. Indiana Dunes Tourism doles out $26,250 in grants to 15 organizations to promote festivals, other events during 2017 (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 16. Lake County Sheriff's Office investigating report of gunshots fired in Beach Park on early Sunday morning (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 17. Waukegan police seek man who stole running vehicle from gas station, left the vehicle in Waukegan two days later (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 18. Round Lake man arrested after Lake County Sheriff's dog bites him; faces DUI, other charges (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 19. Two men sought in robbery of Waukegan motel (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 20. Libertyville High School mourns loss of two students, one 2016 graduate, retired school worker who passed away over Thanksgiving weekend (Daily Herald)
· 21. Kenosha police dog euthanized after sudden illness (ABC 7)
· 22. One person in critical condition following shooting at Fox View Apartment Complex in Carpentersville (Chicago Tribune/Elgin Courier-News)
· 23. Rolling Meadows teen sentenced to two years probation, must register as sex offender after molesting friend during sleepover (Daily Herald)
· 24. Elk Grove Village police issue 382 seat-belt citation during stepped-up Click It or Ticket campaign between Nov. 14-27 (Daily Herald)
· 25. Chicago man arrested in Riverside for third DUI after police officer sees him driving the wrong way on a one-way street (CBS 2)
· 26. Students from Oak Park and River Forest High School seek stronger sexual-assault regulations after revelation of investigation into off-campus party (Chicago Tribune/Oak Park)
· 27. Student from Aurora killed in house fire in Carbondale on Nov. 23 (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
· 28. Four guards at Illinois Youth Center-St. Charles accused of encouraging inmates to fight (Chicago Tribune/Aurora Beacon-News)
· 29. AT&T worker shot during attempted robbery in Berwyn (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 30. Loyola Medicine Home Care and Hospice moves offices from Melrose Park to Oak Brook (Daily Herald)
· 31. Family donates replacement after winds knock down Aurora's Christmas tree (WBBM AM 780)
· 32. $1,000 reward offered for information on suspect in Naperville road-rage incident on Thanksgiving Day (ABC 7)
· 33. Two women arrested for stealing packages from Wheaton apartment building (ABC 7)
· 34. Sheridan man killed in three-vehicle crash on Route 71 near Newark Road in Kendall County (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 35. Old Plank Trail Community Bank in Frankfort robbed at gunpoint (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 36. Dolton man killed in Chicago Heights crash (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 37. Tri-Creek School Corp. approves bids for solar panels as part of 2017 project to reduce energy costs (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 38. Munster Town Council adopts resolution making Veterans Day a paid day off for employees (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 39. Harry Flournoy, history-making basketball standout from Gary, passes away at 72 (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 40. Chesterton man charged with sexually assaulting girl from age 6 to 10 (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 41. Two men shot in separate incidents in Gary (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 42. Dyer man, who has owned strip clubs in Bedford Park and Harvey, accused of conspiracy to commit aggravated battery in business dispute (Chicago Tribune)
· 43. IDOT: Illinois needs to prepare for driverless cars (CBS 2/WBBM AM 780)
· 44. Cook County pays $600,000 to man who accidentally got locked in a cell at county jail for 32 hours in 2015 (CBS 2)
· 45. Portion of Wauconda health-care facility evacuated after heater releases carbon monoxide (Daily Herald)
· 46. Lake County Sheriff's Office, Lindenhurst police investigate armed robberies in Lake Villa, Lindenhurst; crimes may have been done by same suspect (Daily Herald)
· 47. Hawthorn Woods approves 39-house/commercial development at corner of Illinois Route 22, Quentin Road (Daily Herald)
· 48. Northbrook-based Allstate to buy electronics-warranty provider SquareTrade for $1.4 billion (Crain's Chicago Business)
· 49. Highland Park parent of special-needs student sues North Shore School District 112 to prevent closure of school, layoff of teachers (Chicago Tribune/Highland Park News)
· 50. Barrington, Riverside filmmakers produce documentary on 1988 championship football game between Notre Dame and University of Miami for ESPN (Daily Herald)
· 51. Pedestrian struck by Metra Northwest Line train in Cary (CBS 2)
· 52. Glenview man charged with kidnapping, assaulting nurse, attacking two other employees at Northwest Community Hospital in Arlington Heights (Chicago Tribune/Arlington Heights Post)
· 53. Driver charged after his car is struck by Metra train after going under railroad cross arms in Mount Prospect (Daily Herald)
· 54. Oak Park and River Forest High School coach suspended as school officials, police investigate party that resulted in sexual assault at his home while he was out of town (Chicago Tribune/Oak Leaves)
· 55. Carol Stream to lease space at Glendale Heights Civic Center for some police operations; temporary village hall likely to be set up in warehouse (Daily Herald)
· 56. DuPage County Sheriff's Office, Winfield Township Road District create garden in memory of baby found dead in unincorporated Wheaton in June (CBS 2)
· 57. Target plans flexible-format store at Lake and Maple streets in Oak Park (NBC 5)
· 58. DuPage County prosecutors drop charges against 'Simpsons' graffiti artist (Chicago Tribune/Naperville Sun)
· 58. Bodies of two workers found at townhouse under construction in Lockport (ABC 7)
· 59. Calumet City man charged with soliciting sex from two children (Chicago Tribune/Post-Tribune)
· 60. Michigan City to study needs for new city hall, where it might be located (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 61. Harry Potter-themed, board-game-oriented The Librarium Cafe opens in downtown Hobart (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 62. Kingsford Heights man charged with cheating Portage resident out of $3,102 in home-repair scam (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 63. Griffith man accused of illegally dumping hazardous material in Gary garbage facility (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 64. Man sought for aggravated robbery in Fox Lake is arrested in Lake Geneva, Wis., resort (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 65. Diamond Lake Elementary School District 76 board approves four-year teachers contract backdated to 2015-16 school year (Daily Herald)
· 66. Volo seeks volunteers to conduct special census (Daily Herald)
· 67. Des Plaines man arrested after trying to push his way into Arlington Heights restaurant's kitchen to prepare his own food; he stands accused of assaulting employees (Chicago Tribune/Arlington Heights Post)
· 68. Northwest Community Hospital in Arlington Heights certified as comprehensive stroke center, recognized for neurological care services (Daily Herald)
· 69. New long-term Palatine downtown plan calls for more multifamily housing near Metra station, better access to public transit for pedestrians and cyclists (Daily Herald)
· 70. Wheeling High School graduate the driving force behind Professor Watchlist website (Daily Herald)
· 71. Barrington Children's Charities give $10,000 to Barrington High School student group that filled 700 duffel bags with supplies for foster children (Daily Herald)
· 72. Car jumps curb, crashes into fitness club in Arlington Heights (Chicago Tribune/Arlington Heights Post)
· 73. Ex-Crystal Lake Central High School choir director accused of groping two students, plying one with alcohol, at his home in October (Chicago Tribune)
· 74. CEO, CFO of Schaumburg software company arrested on charges of wire fraud, falsifying financial reports (Chicago Tribune)
· 75. Ground broken for 270-unit apartment building at former Littelfuse industrial site in Des Plaines (Daily Herald)
· 76. Bald eagle believed to be nesting in Prospect Heights (Daily Herald)
· 77. Schaumburg promotes fire captain to deputy chief (Daily Herald)
· 78. Pace to install five bus shelters along Gary Avenue in Carol Stream (Daily Herald)
· 79. Glendale Heights man charged with burglary, possession of controlled substance after report of suspicious person looking into parked cars (Daily Herald)
· 80. Aurora man sentenced to 48 years in prison for ex-girlfriend's beating death in Aurora (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 81. Geneva alderman putting $75,000 into his bid to unseat incumbent mayor (Daily Herald)
· 82. Glen Ellyn Elementary School District 41 survey shows support plan to add onto Hadley Junior High School; full-day kindergarten less likely to get voter approval (Daily Herald)
· 83. Elk Grove Village promotes deputy police chief to top-cop post (Daily Herald)
· 84. Riverside doctor's license suspended as he's accused of running 'pill mill' that prescribed 1.6 million doses of pills to people in 10 states (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 85. Men found dead at Lockport construction site were brothers and both were shot to death (CBS 2)
· 86. Suspects in Joliet pet-store robbery reportedly shoplifted $1,400 worth of makeup from beauty store in Joliet before hitting pet store (CBS 2)
· 87. Driver arrested following hit-and-run crash in Lansing that left Lansing man dead (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 88. Mother of LaPorte native urges city to institute mandate for carbon-monoxide detectors after daughter's death (CBS 2)
· 89. St. John woman killed when her vehicle hit a tree off U.S. 41 near West 97th Place (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 90. Two people injured in head-on crash on Michigan Street in Hammond (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 91. Man charged in string of home burglaries in Hammond (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 92. Cook County officials agree to demolish three buildings in jail complex to save $188 million during next 10 years (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 93. Evanston man, Mississippi man arrested for bank heists in Zion, Northbrook (CBS 2)
· 94. O'Hare Airport to end six-month night-flight rotation on Christmas, despite pleas from Harwood Heights, Schiller Park mayors (CBS 2)
· 95. Metra trains temporarily halted in Mount Prospect after train strikes vehicle (NBC 5)
· 96. Mount Prospect woman sentenced to 13 years in prison for running over Illinois State Trooper, crashing into another vehicle while drunk on I-294 (ABC 7)
· 97. DaVinci Academy in Elgin closing doors at end of school year; officials blame decision on insufficient enrollment (CBS 2)
· 98. Arlington Heights woman charged with child endangerment after 6-year-old son calls police to report being left home while mother was out grocery-shopping (Chicago Tribune/Arlington Heights Post)
· 99. Five Palatine elected officials running unopposed in April 4, 2017 election (Daily Herald)
· 100. Des Plaines police investigating possible arson to a car along Northwest Highway (Daily Herald)
· 101. Former supply-chain manager from McHenry charged with embezzling more than $1 million from Itasca company (Daily Herald)
· 102. Former Bellwood village manageCFO pleads guilty to stealing money from village; sentence includes two years probation, repaying $100,000 (CBS 2)
· 103. Former Bellwood village manager pleads guilty to theft in plea deal which will reduce his pension to $100,000 annually (Chicago Tribune)
· 104. Downers Grove-based Sharing Connections, an organization that helps struggling families and veterans make their houses feel like homes, celebrates 30th anniversary (CBS 2)
· 105. No charges filed in fatal crash that killed Aurora cyclist in Hinsdale (Chicago Tribune/The Doings)
· 106. Western Springs man charged with battery after allegedly punching Uber driver; police tracked him down using Uber subscriber information (Chicago Tribune/The Doings)
· 107. Wheaton-Warrenville Unit School District 200 to have $132.5 million capital/educational funding referendum on April ballot (Daily Herald)
· 108. Naperville man dies from fall I-355 overpass in Lemont (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 109. Illinois Department of Corrections closes Stateville Correctional Center's 'roundhouse' as move to save state money (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 110. Customer sues Tinley Park massage parlor, claiming masseuse sexually assaulted her (CBS 2)
· 111. Ford Heights School District 169 put on lockdown while police search for suspect in murder of security guard in Harvey (NBC 5)
· 112. Michigan City's Shoreline Brewery and Restaurant plans expansion to double seating area, 50 percent more brewing capacity (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 113. Developer proposes seven-office-building/hotel complex in Highland (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 114. National Association for Town Watch gives Hammond award for outstanding participation in National Night Out in August (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 115. Elkhart man arrested in shooting death of Goshen man whose body was found at Kingsbury Fish and Wildlife Area near LaPorte (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 116. FBI agents interview Portage police chief in wake of mayor's indictment on bribery, obstruction charges (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 117. Gavit Middle-High School in Hammond named 2016 National Title I Distinguished School for Growth and Closing the Achievement Gap (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 118. Three homes in downtown Valparaiso burglarized while occupants slept (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 119. Zion man sues Lake County Sheriff's Office and Mundelein and North Chicago police over wrongful arrest that was part of probe into street-gang activity (CBS 2)
· 120. Man struck by CTA Purple Line train in Evanston dies (ABC 7)
· 121. Increased security planned for two-day festival of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Des Plaines (Chicago Tribune)
· 122. McHenry man taken to hospital in critical condition after being shot in Hoffman Estates (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 123. East Dundee banquet hall facing revocation or suspension of liquor license after 60 noise complaints lodged against it (Daily Herald)
· 124. Village of Arlington Heights puts up wayfinding signs in hopes of encouraging more walking, better health (Daily Herald)
· 125. Park Ridge holiday-lights display honors last pop star Prince (FOX 32)
· 126. Elgin woman charged with aggravated battery and home invasion after attacking Elgin man in his home (Daily Herald)
· 127. Carpentersville manufacturer buys former Haeger Potteries property in East Dundee, plans to move operations there (Daily Herald)
· 128. Barrington man created 'chicken coop of the 21st century,' is launching Indiegogo campaign (Crain's Chicago Business)
· 129. 27-house development proposed for former Musselman Lumber site in Warrenville (Daily Herald)
· 130. West Chicago church housing Elgin man facing deportation forced to bring building up to code after firefighters respond to smoke alarm (Daily Herald)
· 131. Batavia man arrested for sexual abuse of teenage girl, possession of child porn (Daily Herald)
· 132. Two students stabbed in fight across the street from East Aurora High School (FOX 32)
· 133. Naperville retiree fatally shot in Chicago's North Austin neighborhood (FOX 32)
· 134. Naperville Marine driving wife and friend killed by wrong-way drunk driver on I-88 in Naperville (Chicago Tribune/Naperville Sun)
· 135. Owner of Felony Franks to run for Oak Park Village Board (Chicago Tribune/Oak Leaves)
· 136. Lisle man sentenced to seven years in prison for traveling to Aurora to pay for sex with two minors in 2013 (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 137. Two men in custody for kidnapping ride-share driver, stealing his car in Glen Ellyn (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 138. Employee of Batavia spa accused of offering to perform sex act for money, practicing massage therapy without a license (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 139. Comfort dogs allowed on the witness stand at Will County Courthouse (FOX 32)
· 140. Judge who allowed law clerk to wear judicial robe, hear traffic cases at Markham courthouse diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease; state board says she's unfit to do her job (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 141. Lake County Council makes appointments, swears in a number of people to Circuit Court system (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 142. Crown Point Police Department raises $2,000 while participating in No-Shave November cancer awareness campaign (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 143. Man found shot to death in 4200 block of Kentucky Street in Gary (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 144. LaCrosse man sentenced to 52 years in prison for molesting two girls that he adopted away from mother who pimped them in exchange for drugs (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 145. Six people arrested on charges of dealing cocaine in East Chicago (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 146. Police investigate fatal shooting of East Chicago man (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 147. Great Lakes Basin seeks to suspend environmental review of proposed 260-mile freight-train bypass of Chicago area; project still expected to remain on track (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 148. Solar panels being installed at two Grayslake High School District 127 buildings (Daily Herald)
· 149. Fox Lake woman going to prison for one year for waving gun, shooting at police during standoff in Wonder Lake (Chicago Tribune)
· 150. Fire extensively damages Elgin dollar store (Daily Herald)
· 151. Man killed when his car went off the road and struck a tree in Elgin (Daily Herald)
· 152. Aurora man sentenced to 15 years in prison for trafficking heroin, which he picked up at Aurora bus depot (Daily Herald)
· 153. Kane County sees decline in electronics-recycling dropoffs after restarting program at three sites (Daily Herald)
· 154. Teen arrested for attempted battery outside Batavia McDonald's after trying to rob another juvenile (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 155. Naperville police seek two woman accused of stealing another woman's purse, then beating her before escaping from store (Chicago Sun-Times)
· 156. Two teenage girls arrested on charges of stealing clothing from Dick's Sporting Goods in Bloomingdale and Naperville; they Maced an employee of Naperville store (Daily Herald)
· 157. Mother, son die after being found with multiple stab wounds in Posen home; son's death ruled suicide (Chicago Tribune/Daily Southtown)
· 158. Reports of voyeur continue to plague Michigan City neighborhood (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 159. Federal judge sentences Merrillville woman to one year in prison for extorting bribes while she was Calumet Township deputy assessor (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 160. Hammond mayor to close city court in wake of Gov. Pence;s appointment of non-attorney as judge (Chicago Tribune/Post-Tribune)
· 161. Portage may loosen taxi regulations in face of competition with Uber, Lyft (Northwest Indiana Times)
· 162. Cook County to outsource most of its toxicology testing to a private company to save $1 million next year (Chicago Sun-Times)
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