Free live granny cam

2020.11.25 18:50 BeelzeBoy666 Old Bonegrinder: Ideas for adding variety to the trio of hags.

The Weird Sisters, the Sanderson sisters, the Crones. Trios of witches are such a great trope, but I've always found Night Hags x3 to be a little boring, and Granny being the only one to have agency outside the house feels limiting. So here's what I've come up with: 3 hags, 3 variants, 3 roles within the coven.
Granny Morgantha: Keep Morgantha RAW. She's a Night Hag, and the one that sells the pies and collects the children.
Bella Sunbane: Dusk Hag. The hags are clearly very skilled in dream magic, and it's said that the coven will bargain their lives for magic and divinations, conversely they take sacrifices should the players be at their mercy. I think a Dusk Hag would fit well into this role. It's also how (in either RAW, or MANY homebrews) she's the one to greet the party. She dreamt, or foresaw visitors.
Offalia Wormwiggle: Annis Hag. The lore for these hags say they often corrupt children with their iron teeth. This is a perfect way to encourage the Dream Pastry addicted villagers to sell their children for more pies. They've turned rotten and mom & dad can't enjoy their fix with Dennis the menace running about. Annis hags also prefer to eat children, and since the Dream Pastries are only described as using children's bones, that's a lot of parts gone to waste. Also being the biggest and most physically imposing of the three, it makes sense they keep her upstairs cooking so she doesn't blow their cover.
I tend to overlook some details that can cause problems with changeups like this, but Coven rules say the hags can be different. So if anyone sees any hurdles with these change ups (BESIDES the increased CR, which was somewhat intentional to curb my party of 5 rather skilled Players) Please feel free to comment me into oblivion!
submitted by BeelzeBoy666 to CurseofStrahd [link] [comments]


2020.11.23 15:00 M-striker Cam live free granny

Ok.... for context, im in treatment for sequels of a leucemia, i take 2 antihistamine, steroid, and the quimio, all in pills, i have to take every single one in the morning and after going to sleep, except one antihistamine, that one is in case of a “crisis” (if i got overworked mi skin start having a epidermic reaction.... in other words, like an allergy)
Im immunosuppressed that’s why i have to be careful with covid, my grandma was sick (not covid) that’s why she needed someone to take care of her, but we don’t trust to a stranger to take care of her (mostly because she’s the most innocent person in the world... and covid), and most of my family is too “ busy” to take care, so in spending christmas with her, i already moved to her house, but her neighbor, the one that “took care of her”, didn’t like that
Entitled moron= EM. Entitled Kid=EK (15 years old i think). Grandma=G. Le Me= Me
So i wanted to start preparing things for christmas... why? Because i have to much free time, i bought a sangria señorial (a pretty famous soda in Mexico.... almost as good as wine) and wine, some drinks for me and tea for my grandma, and a gansito
I arrived home just to find EM and EK in the living room, apparently when EM “took care” of my grandma, she was just leaving EK with her.... my grandma, was babysitting, this asshole, and paying, 250$ (Mexican peso) for week....
First i was angry, but, granny insisted that she liked his companionship, so i left him be, but i told EM where not paying her a single penny, she agreed, but she wasn’t paying us for babysitting his “child”
He spend the whole day playing in a Nintendo Switch, that made taking care of him like taking care of a plant, until midday, i decide to cook some spaghetti for me, grandma and the entitled veggie, but then, he told me he was ordering pizza, in the kitchen, with a pan in one hand and the spaghetti in the other one....
EK- im ordering pizza
ME-....
EK-do you have money???
Me-are you serious??? Don’t you see i already made spaghetti??
EK- i don’t eat.... ok then
Im not sure what was he going to say but lets continue, i was serving the spaghetti when...
///tsssk/// ///glug glug glug/// ///burp///
He just drank a full can of a drink, in less than 10 seconds, the problem was, i don’t remember buying that drink...
ME-hey, whats that?
EK- a drink
ME- yeah... what kind, i don’t remember buying it
Ek- is a four loko, you granny bought them for me a week ago
Now, this drinks are ilegal in a lot of cities, why??? They have the alcohol of 4.5 shots, and the caffeine of 2 expresso.... first, drinks with caffeine and alcohol are dangerous because you don’t feel the effect of the alcohol making you think you drank just a little bit, second, he bought like 5 FUCKING PACKAGES!!! The pantry was almost full of this shit!!!!
ME- what in red hells is this?!?! You said you bought some, not a fucking truck!!!!
EK- i like them, is not big deal!!
Me- here is enough alcohol to kill a whale and enough caffeine to keep a city alive!!!
EK-you’re not even my dad!! Why i should listen you!?!?
Me- because this is MY grandmas house, and you bought them with MY grandmas money!!!
He got mad, and i was figuring out how to get rid of all this, honestly im not into alcoholic drinks, i like some tastes, im only 18, but i know how to prepare some drinks and cocktails, mostly because i worked in a friend of my parent’s restaurant, i have a high alcohol resistance, but holy shit, that thing makes you feel like a firework about to explode, so i was considering dumping it, when i remembered theres a little “restaurant” (fast food stand) that had four lokos too, is a pretty popular drink, people need only one to get “high”, so i though if not selling it, giving it to them, when i cam back i founded him, smoking, in the coach, im not a saint, i did dumb shit when i was 15 too, but, first a drink that can give you overdose with 3 cans, and now cigarettes??
ME-gasp ok... kid... im not you father, but at least can you smoke outside???
EK- ok old man ///really??? Old man.... we just meet today!!//
Me- and give me the box, just one, i can ignore the cigarettes but no drugs, alcohol or abuse in my grandmas house
Now i know i shouldn’t allow him to smoke, but at least he isn’t smoking weed, or making drugs, here we have a huge problem with drugs, and is pretty common too see kids smoking and drinking on the street, we all made dumb shit, but smoking isn’t going to kill him today or tomorrow, i hope his mother can correct that.... great mistake
I was tired, angry and overworked, so i needed a antihistamine
EK- staring at me
ME-what???
EK- what happened with no drugs in this house???
ME- is my med.... you saw me taking it earlier
EK- but you carry the box the whole time
G-whats happening???
EK- ME is taking drugs!!!
G- ME!!! Oh, that’s his medication, by the way, ME, do you know were my medication is??
A time later his mother arrived to “check granny”
EM- hi, do you had a good time???
EK- that asshole dumped my drinks!!!
EM- why you did that ?!?!
Me- you should check what your sons buy-
EM- well, you’re now paying for them!!!
Me- im not giving you a cent, he bought them with MY grandmas money!! And this thing have enough alcohol to kill a moose!
EK- you were taking drugs, you have no right to speak druggie!!
Me- it’s medication!!!! You’re a entitled brat, who takes advantage of an old lady, you’re the lowest scum i meet and probably you wouldn’t reach her age fo an overdose
EM- my son could be alcoholic but at least he isn’t a druggie!!!
The they left, jesus christ , they live 2 houses of distance
The worst part is that i completely forgot about my gansito and he ate it
Edit 1: last night EM and EK were having a huge fight and this morning.... well, lets say he got “la escoba”, she was chasing him down the street.... the sad thing is that now he will spend his day worse even worse people than him, narcos and dealers.... even assailants have more morals than him
// i posted this in a new post but i think is better if i ad this here//
Edit 2: a friend of my told me that EK was searching a place to stay with Ms.Nana (thats how we call her in my colony), the saint old lady everybody loves and owner of a little neighborhood, why??? Because police was chasing him..... if police is chasing you here is because you surely make some terrible, horrible or just stupid shit.... maybe he just tried to assault an oxxo or because his bad companies, i hope is one of them, i will wait and get more details, theres no boring day in ecatepec for sure
submitted by M-striker to entitledparents [link] [comments]


2020.11.23 00:39 MADKITTIEZ Free live granny cam

The arrival of Tama, God's Natural Enemies, Big Mom's return to battle, the Scabbards' defeat, something naughty and the one who must guide this world to its Dawn, Chapter 996 was filled aplenty with plot developments. But, personally I'm very excited Carrot finally has a chance to fight Perospero and avenge Pedro, meaning this battle might cement her spot in the crew! And I know it may be getting greedy, but who here doesn't want Yamato to end up joining the Strawhats too? An extra girl on board never hurt nobody
Links

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, and everybody in between, welcome back to...
Bets and Bravery! Welcome one, welcome all, we're glad to have you! If you're new to Bets and Bravery, B&B is a weekly thread on this subreddit where users bet with fake currency, the Beli from in-universe, on what they think will happen in each week's chapter in a series of bets made by yours truly. I keep track of everyone's money in a giant Google Sheet, which is available in the links above. So, if you're new, enjoy your time! But, if you're a regular on this thread, we're glad to see you back at OnePiece's unofficial official pasttime!
I hope you've all had a good week so far with whatever's been happening in your lives. If you haven't had such a good week so far, I'm wishing the best for you and hope I can brighten your day even a little bit with this post.
Before we get started, let's refresh your memory of last chapter to get you back on betting track!
Last Time on One Piece Escaping from a very uphill battle, Usopp, battered and broken from Ulti's attacks if I had a nickel for every time Usopp broke his nose and skull, I'd have two nickels - which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice and Nami flee with the help of Tama, Komainu, and Hihimaru. Dealing with Sasaki's Armored Division, Yamato's fight is interrupted by the arrival of Franky with Haccha tailing behind, managing to give Oda a convenient reason to blueball us on Yamato's Devil Fruit and, more importantly, her cute anime girl fangs. Breaking a hole in the floor, allowing Momo and Co. to escape, Haccha is defeated by Yamato, who leaves Sasaki and the Armored Division to Franky, proving that Apoo is bullshitting and that ancient giants ain't shit. Stumbling across a Poneglyph, Law declares his intention to actually try to get the plot moving forward, only to be interrupted by two pages of Kid and Killer fighting jobbers. With the Scabbards defeated atop Onigashima and Big Mom racing up to meet Kaido, things aren't looking good until Sanji's radar picks up on the nearest fanservice spot--all praise!
With that out of the way, let's get right into the real meat of the thread...
Chapter 997 Betting The Bets of the Week Bet 415 As the biggest Sanji stan around, I feel as though I need to pay my weekly tribute here. Wait, hold on, don't go, this isn't a troll filler bet. please There've been plenty of theories surrounding what the ending of the chapter means. Is it just a setup for a nice Black Maria kimono undressing fanservice?
But, if that were the case, why does Sanji look so surprised, or shocked? The fan early translations had Ivankov's laugh, but I don't know what the Revolutionaries would be doing here if they're out declaring war in Mariejois. unless this is a setup for a massive gag where Wano's just next door to the Red Line. Oda, try harder next time. I've also heard that it could be a song sung in the Kamabakka Kingdom that's caught Sanji's ear and triggered his PTSD. If that were the case, who among those present would be an Okama? Is it really Black Maria, like people have been saying? Or could it be Queen, and a setup for Sanji vs a Calamity? Dear audience, who is on Sanji's radar?
Bet 416 While I enjoyed the Strawhats vs Oars back in Thriller Bark, Kaido's numbers just haven't come close to measuring up to his titanic might and imposing force, which is why I'm glad Haccha was quickly disposed of by Yamato. Aside from being a quick showcase of her ridiculous haki ability, it frees up a certain cyborg to take his fight elsewhere: Sasaki.
There's been a theory floating around yes, we're full blown conspiracy hunting this week that Sasaki takes after a certain Puffing Tom Conductor: Granny Kokoro from Water 7! Yes, the mermaid who helped raise Franky and Iceburg alongside Tom and Yokozuna as part of their workshop, could possibly play a part here: Kokoro is Sasaki! Kokoro is Sasaki's mother! Looking at his official color scheme, Sasaki bears a very similar hair color to Kokoro on top of having fangs in his base form, leading many to believe he's part fishman, which would make sense for the child of a mermaid. If that's the case, Sasaki and Franky, as two children of Kokoro's facing off might bring some interesting emotional conflicts to another fight this arc. Regardless, with a mission in his hands, Franky has to do his best. Dear audience, will Franky be able to take care of the Armored Squad?
Bet 417 Consistently a fan-favorite character, wielder of the Ope Ope no Mi, and a bearer of checkered destiny, Trafalgar D. Water Law has found a new goal in life. After finally getting his revenge on Doflamingo for killing his mentor and best friend, Corazon, Law's motives have felt empty and devoid of purpose. Yes, he teamed up with Luffy "to take down Kaido," but we all know it was specifically to defeat Doflamingo, without a care of what comes afterward. But, with the Strawhats doing that and more, Law has kind of just been along for the ride since then, joining the Ninja-Pirate-Mink-Samurai Alliance in Zou to officially defeat Kaido. But, things have begun to change.
Having discussed in secret with Nico Robin about the Will of D., Law was informed that Luffy didn't care about it and that the only way he could find out more was by following the Road Poneglyphs. As one of the few good Celestial Dragons, Corazon had informed Law of his status as an enemy of the Gods, pitting him directly against the World Government. But now, with a deceased friend's ambition, a promise to keep, and a desire to discover the meaning of his checkered fate, Law has finally discovered his purpose.
With Chapter 1000 on the horizon, and a tendency for something big to happen on these milestones, it makes sense that something completely massive will happen for One Piece's biggest milestone yet, but is it really time for one of the oldest questions still unanswered to be addressed? Dear audience, will the "Will of D." be revealed by the end of the Wano arc?
Bet 418 This bet is where you can bet how many pages Chapter 997 will feature!
Note: Shounen Jump covers, fan art pages, or translator note pages from early scans or the official release are not counted here. Double page spreads are counted as two separate pages. Color pages and color spreads are counted. Cover story serials and fan-requested cover pages are counted.
Bet 419 Our final bet this week is about the main focus of this week's chapter! The chapter may cover multiple storylines, in which case, the correct answer will be whichever storyline the chapter gave the most attention to in terms of pages or panels, should it get that close!
Weekly Mini-Game As is customary when I have no clue what the next chapter's going to be about, it's time for your regularly scheduled panel mini-game! Dear audience, I want you to guess how many panels will make up Chapter 997!
Guess 100% correctly on this, and you'll receive a whopping 1,500,000 Beli! If nobody guesses correctly, the closest answer receives 750,000 Beli! If multiple people guess correctly or are evenly close to the correct answer, the bounty is evenly split among them to the nearest 1,000 Beli!
End of Chapter 997 Betting And with that, we've made it to the end of another exciting edition of Bets and Bravery! I hope you enjoyed what we had this week, as I enjoyed making B&B for you!
Now, please listen to the following tutorial on how to play:
Huh? Do you guys hear that?!
Come, my dear!! I have the answers to this weeks bets!!
But you mustn't! It would be so... Naughty!
3.3M on 415A!
940K on 416A!
5M on 417B!
500K on 418B!
330K on 419A!
87 panels for the WMG!
Notes and Reminders Thanks for Participating! Thanks to everyone out there who dropped by to read this thread, whether all the way through, just skimming, or just dropping by to see what this thread was. I'm truly grateful you all come by and support my work here as much as you do, so thank you! I hope I can keep living up to your expectations as host!
I wish you all good luck on this week's bets, and I will see you all back later this week after the chapter drops and the results thread is out for you all to see how you did! Until next time!
-MADKITTIEZ
submitted by MADKITTIEZ to OnePiece [link] [comments]


2020.11.22 21:28 banana_person123 Free live granny cam

Bee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cou
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~‌ ‌1.16 ‌-‌ You Get A Promotion! And You, And You ~‌

Noto’s Adventurers’ Guild
2nd Darkday of The Full Moon
The three players, Flea, Khorwin, and Martina, were informed of their promotion to rank Tin division one, skipping past any Copper divisions they still had. Niseph was given Tin upon joining, a perk of the Golden Chit.
“The Dryad hasn’t been allowed to rejoin the Adventurers’ Guild since our race lost in The Games eons ago. The Golden Chit has given me the ability to respawn and rank. You have no idea how much this means to my race and I; Flea, Khorwin, and Martina. This is our first step for the Dryad to have a chance to return to The Games.”
“I have heard NPC’s say ‘The Games’ multiple times now. What are these games, Niseph?” Martina asked.
“You are new to Mea. You newcomers will find out in time. I am not permitted to speak of them to you at this time.”
Fenix returned minutes later with their goods. Giving Niseph her magic bag, the Feline then handed each of them an ornate tin box. The receptionist requested their tags and left again to update them to their new ranks. Opening his box, Flea found a sizable purple cloth sack and a large purple, hexagon-shaped coin with a hole at its center. Opening the bag, Flea guessed it held around a hundred cores. Putting them in his magic bag confirmed it to be 100 Clear Cores.
Upon returning, Fenix handed each of them their brand new Tin tags. Finished, Fenix asked each of them to soulbind their new tags. Upon dropping his blood on the new greenish colored tags, a prompt asked the Gnome if he wished to change his rank. Accepting the prompt, a second informed the Gnome his Copper tags have been destroyed.
Martina held up the purple coin and asked Fenix about it. The receptionist informed the group it was a token given to adventurers upon reaching Tin rank. The token could be turned into any Adventurers’ Guild for their choice of available Skill Cores from their vault. This Skill Core would be the first most adventurers would be able to get their hands on.
Fenix continued to explain once they used their cores and leveled up, they should be over level 10, opening their first Mana Gate. Once they’ve achieved this feat, the three of them should return to the hall to turn in their tokens.
“Thank... Thank you!” Khorwin started hopping up and down, cheering.
Flea waited for Fenix to help Niseph soulbind her magic bag before speaking to the Feline.
“Could you explain to us what Mana Gates are, Fenix? I’ve been told some by Sveny, but would like to hear some more.”
“Sure, Flea. Mana Gates are pockets created by the mana channels within every living creature. When the body has developed to a certain degree, the channels expand and spread farther throughout the body. When these channels reach specific anatomic points, they develop a type of bubble or shell within that location. We call these spaces; Mana Gates. The body can then absorb a Skill Core and imprint that skill inside the bubble where the body then adapts to use that skill. I believe there are more to these Mana Gates, but most scholars could debate that for eons.”
“Thank you for that knowledge, Fenix.” Flea said.
“So guys. everyone back to their inns and level up?” Martina asked.
“Yep, leveling up and getting my first skill is on the top of my list,” Flea replied.
“Martina, thanks again for rushing to help us. I think the promotion chits were rewarded for surviving that Abomination and bringing the news back to town. I wouldn’t be surprised if this questline gets more interesting tomorrow and with even better rewards,” Khorwin said.
“I should thank you guys. I was farming ore for money. After today, I doubt I’m going to have much of that issue. I’ll see you guys back here tonight to organize our groups.”
“Alright, see you guys later tonight,” Flea said.
Minutes later, as Fenix was finishing up writing his report, he suddenly dropped his quill. Turning around to speak to the group again, he found them gone. Running out the doors and into the street, he found the group to be long gone. He cursed into the air and turned around. The Beastman flattened his ears as he walked back into the hall and spoke in a whisper.
“I’m so getting in trouble for this tomorrow.”
Flea and Niseph walked to The Drunken Ogre together after leaving the other two at the town square. Reaching the inn, they were greeted by a large group of people asking them questions. They tried to explain what was going on, answering their questions as best as they could.
Niseph was asked to cover her chest by a few women, to the men’s protests, causing her to get frustrated enough that she left Flea and stomped up to his room. Excusing himself, the Gnome followed her up and unlocked the door for her. The Dryad jumped onto the bed and poured a couple of marbles onto her hand.
“How do I use these?” Niseph asked, raising them in her hand.
“Hold one in the palm of your hand, and just crush them. It’s easy once you’ve done it once. Crush all of yours first, then choose the attributes you wish to level.”
“How do I see these attributes?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. After you’ve crushed them all, think or say ‘status.’”
“Thank you. I was born after the fall of the Dryads, so I’ve never been able to level, please excuse my lack of knowledge.”
“Don’t worry about it. You should lay on the bed before you level. You’re going to get knocked out as soon as you accept the changes.”
Niseph nodded and laid back onto the bed, taking out the cores one at a time and crushing them. Flea decided to do the same and sat next to the Dryad.

Absorbed 100 Clear Cores
Absorbed 21 Cloudy Cores
+ 2066 Energy

Holy shit, that’s an average of 19.4 Energy per Clear Core.
Pulling up his Status screen, Flea took a look at his current status.
Flea Lv. 6 23.52
Gnome Earth 0.68
Tin I 2132 Energy
6 Strength ➕ [84]
6 Constitution ➕ [70]
10 Dexterity
4 Intelligence ➕ [45]
4 Wisdom ➕ [50]
22 Magic Bag 🛈 ➕ [75]​
Flea found he could only level his attributes to 10. This forced him to spend points on Wisdom and Intelligence. Maxing the four remaining attributes to 10 cost him 1603 Energy. He couldn’t put any more points into his attributes, so he decided to finish. Mentally accepting his choices, Flea heard Niseph let out a scream, startling him. Seconds later, Flea let out his own scream before the darkness of sleep took him.
Opening his eyes, Flea immediately noticed the stench in the room. It was by far the foulest thing he had ever remembered smelling. The Gnome immediately noticed he had difficulty moving his body and it felt like he was lying in something wet. Looking down at himself, then over at the still sleeping Nispeh, he could see a pitch-black, tar-like substance all over the both of them. The last thing he noticed was they were not alone in the room. Dross was standing over them, seemingly very pissed off.
“Who the hell ascends in a place of business? I had to close my damn inn down due to the stench. As soon as she awakes, both of you get down to the bathhouse and scrub yourselves like your lives depend on it. Leave all of your clothes and armor in the burlap bag inside the bathhouse. They’re going to be burned.”
“What? I just bought these! Their soul bound, can’t we just clean whatever this is off of them?”
“No can do. That smelly as hell shit was a part of you. So even if I killed you right here, you’d spawn with it still on your clothes. Didn’t the receptionist at the Adventurers’ Guild warn you two what would happen when you hit level 10?”
“No, they didn’t. The Guild just gave us our Tin ranked rewards, and we left.”
“Tin rank? How?! This island shouldn’t have anywhere near enough Tin quests to promote anyone before you lot leave for the mainland.”
“Flea explained everything again to Dross.”
“Damnit, I’ll forgive you for the loss of business. This is bad news, indeed. I must let my family know what’s going on. It looks like your Dryad is stirring. Take her down to the bathhouse now, please. I’ll burn the blanket and bedsheets with your clothes. I just hope it didn’t get into the mattress.”
“How will you break the soul bind on the armor?”
“We’ll take care of that after. You bathe now, please go already. It’s killing me slowly to just stand here. It’s even worse for my wife and child.”
With Niseph awake now, Flea explained what was going on. The Gnome had her follow him to the bathhouse. He found the burlap bag quickly enough and a bar of soap with it. Flea assumed it was to clean off whatever the black junk was on his body.
Cleaning himself took hours. For every part of his body, Flea had to scrub, scrape, then scrub some more. Once he was satisfied with the results, the Gnome sank into the bath and relaxed. He was rudely disturbed not long after by Dross, yelling for them to hurry up. Walking outside with a robe around himself, he found Dross, Niseph and an Elf he hadn’t met before.
“Flea, this is Elder Nyana. She will break the soulbinding on your armor for you. Please hand her the bag.”
“You’re the third stop for me today. Two other adventurers broke through as well. Elder Whoden is going to get a damn earful from a lot of people, I suspect. Not warning those close to ascending about the issues of such a feat.”
“Excuse me, Elder, but what changes? What was that black stuff we woke up in?”
“You both now have your Mortal Bodies. You can now absorb Energy through meditation and unlock your first Mana Gate, allowing you to absorb your first Skill Core. Normally adventures reach this point before being promoted to Tin, but with what’s going on around here, the fault may therein lie with the two Elders not informing you of what would happen to your bodies. As for the black substance you awoke with inside. Well, that was what your body expelled out. It was all of your impurities and any diseased body tissue,” The Elder explained.
The realism this game is going for is on such another level than anything before it.
Flea handed the bag over to the Elder. A moment later, he got a notification pop up in his vision.

Elder Nyana wishes to break the soulbinding on five items.
Do you give permission?
[Yes] [No]

Flea mentally selected yes before he could regret it. The Elder closed her eyes and concentrated. Moments later, the bag lit up like a light bulb.
“It is done.”
“Good,” Dross said as he took the bag and threw it on the bonfire he had behind the bathhouse.
Walking back to the group, Dross handed Flea a key.
“New room, first on the right, on the second floor. Your old room is going to take a while to get the smell fully out. I’ve already moved your things.”
“Thank you again, Dross.”
Getting into the new room, he found it more spacious, with a larger bed and a dresser against the sidewall. The room also had the same size desk and chair as the last room.
I think Dross has misunderstood some things.
[Congratulations are in order, Kyle. You three are the first players to achieve level 10. The news is already spreading amongst the other players. Your names have not been made public due to our privacy settings. I would suggest you and your friends do not make it known. Many players wish you three harm now.]
“Thank you, Bob. I will speak to them about it.”
“Who is Bob?” Niseph asked.
“Oh, I’m not sure how to explain. Bob’s from my world and lives in my head, like a type of magic helper.”
Niseph shook her head.
“Can we go visit Granny? We should also get you new armor, and maybe something to cover my chest up. If I’m to join your group, I should be less distracting to your kind.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll need to stop at the smith first to sell the ore from last night.”
After Flea changed into his starter clothes, they left the inn and headed over to the west side of town, stopping at Krom’s shop first. Flea offloaded his iron and silver ore to Krom, making over 11 silver for the lot. The Gnome and Dryad then headed over to Sveny’s shop, so Flea could buy another set of quill armor and something to cover up Niseph.
Entering the shop, they found a hive of activity. People were in almost every part of the place looking through the shop’s wares. There was already a line of people at the counter waiting for Sveny and his assistant to help them out.
It didn’t take long for the players to notice Niseph and start whistling and catcalling. All their attempts seem to breeze right past her, as if she hadn’t a care in the world. Getting in line, Flea told Nispeh to go find any armor she needed. While the Dryad browsed the wears, she ignored any attempt by the players to get her attention. Flea stood in line, trying not to look at the ass in front or crouch behind him at his eye level.
I really hate waiting in lines.
Niseph didn’t take long to come back with a dark green leather corset and leather pants laced up at the sides, in her size. She also found a set of simple leather bracers. It took the two almost twenty minutes to get up to the counter to be assisted.
“Welcome back Flea, what can I assist you with today?” Sveny said.
“Hello again, I need a new set of quill armor dyed black. I also need to buy this corset, bracers, and pants for her.” Flea pointed to Niseph.
“Of course, what happened to your old set?”
“We hit mortal rank without anyone telling us what happens.”
“Oh my. Terrible ordeal all around, even if you planned ahead. I still have your measurements here, so I can have it crafted by tonight for you. Would you like it delivered somewhere for your convenience?”
“That would be amazing, Sveny. I also have these large terrorbear quills to sell as well.”
“Where did you get these? These are the largest quills I’ve ever seen.”
“Took them off an Abomination last night. How much would you buy them for? I can get you more tomorrow. If you haven’t heard yet, we are going into the mountain to kill the rest of them.”
“Yes, I’ve heard the news. I’d be willing to give you 50 copper for that quill. Do you have any more?”
“I have nineteen more, and I also have these scales from the Abomination as well.”
“Show me!”
Flea took out one of the Abomination’s scales and handed it to Sveny.
“I’ll give you a silver each, how many do you have? I could make the best armor I’ve ever crafted with these. Take a look at this.”
Sveny pulled out a dagger from his belt. He placed a scale on the counter and then set the dagger’s point against its flat surface. Grabbing a mallet from under the counter, the Elf drove the butt of the dagger down. Removing the blade, Flea could barely see a dimple on the scale’s surface.
“If I can get my hands on maybe thirty of these, I could make an entire set.”
“If I bring you more of them, could you craft me a set with them?”
“Bring me forty scales, and I’ll make it for free.”
“Ok, I’ll sell you the twenty quills I have. I need the quill armor tonight, and her pieces as well. What’s my total?
Sveny stared into the air, moving his fingers like he was manipulating an abacus, “Ten silver for the quills. I’ll do 34 silver for your dyed armor and delivery. Her pieces are 27 silver. You owe me 51 silver.”
Flea thanked and paid Sveny. Turning to Nispeh, he could see she was already wearing her corset and was sitting on a box lacing the first side of her pants up. Waiting for her to finish, they walked out of Sveny’s and headed towards Sue’s Bakery.
“Niseph!!” Granny Sue screamed.
The older woman darted from behind the counter, rushed up and hugged the beaming Dryad.
“Oh, it’s lovely to see you again, Granny. I enjoyed the candies you gave Flea. I missed them dearly.”
“Oh, Princess, that pleases me to hear. Why are you wearing leathers? Oh My! Is that a magic bag? How have you become an adventurer? Does your mother know of this?”
Niseph giggled and placed a hand over her mouth.
“Everything is happening too fast. I have not yet left the town to inform my mother of the change. Elder Loratoris had seen fit to give me the town’s Golden Chit and the opportunity to join The Guild.”
“Your mother is going to be so happy to hear that there is a chance for the Dryad again.”
Around this time, the crowd started to get a bit impatient on waiting.
“I need to help everyone right fast sweety, give me a few minutes.”
Granny Sue gave a discount to all who waited, pleasing everyone. Once the crowd cleared, she went into the back and returned with a large brown bag.
“Here Niseph, put this in your magic bag and don’t show it to your sisters.”
Taking the brown bag from Granny and opening it, she found it full of the pink rosewater flavored candies she loved.
“Thank you so much, Granny! I’ll make sure to give mother some as well.”
The trio talked a bit longer before Flea finally suggested it was time to go. They still needed to walk back to the forest and inform the Dryad Queen of the Elder’s plans. Flea and Nispeh dropped by the Adventurers’ Guild to tell them the duo would be back before sunset to set up their group of adventurers.
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2020.11.22 21:10 Daphonic Free live granny cam

~‌ ‌1.16 ‌-‌ You Get A Promotion! And You, And You ~‌

Noto’s Adventurers’ Guild
2nd Darkday of The Full Moon
The three players, Flea, Khorwin, and Martina, were informed of their promotion to rank Tin division one, skipping past any Copper divisions they still had. Niseph was given Tin upon joining, a perk of the Golden Chit.
“The Dryad hasn’t been allowed to rejoin the Adventurers’ Guild since our race lost in The Games eons ago. The Golden Chit has given me the ability to respawn and rank. You have no idea how much this means to my race and I; Flea, Khorwin, and Martina. This is our first step for the Dryad to have a chance to return to The Games.”
“I have heard NPC’s say ‘The Games’ multiple times now. What are these games, Niseph?” Martina asked.
“You are new to Mea. You newcomers will find out in time. I am not permitted to speak of them to you at this time.”
Fenix returned minutes later with their goods. Giving Niseph her magic bag, the Feline then handed each of them an ornate tin box. The receptionist requested their tags and left again to update them to their new ranks. Opening his box, Flea found a sizable purple cloth sack and a large purple, hexagon-shaped coin with a hole at its center. Opening the bag, Flea guessed it held around a hundred cores. Putting them in his magic bag confirmed it to be 100 Clear Cores.
Upon returning, Fenix handed each of them their brand new Tin tags. Finished, Fenix asked each of them to soulbind their new tags. Upon dropping his blood on the new greenish colored tags, a prompt asked the Gnome if he wished to change his rank. Accepting the prompt, a second informed the Gnome his Copper tags have been destroyed.
Martina held up the purple coin and asked Fenix about it. The receptionist informed the group it was a token given to adventurers upon reaching Tin rank. The token could be turned into any Adventurers’ Guild for their choice of available Skill Cores from their vault. This Skill Core would be the first most adventurers would be able to get their hands on.
Fenix continued to explain once they used their cores and leveled up, they should be over level 10, opening their first Mana Gate. Once they’ve achieved this feat, the three of them should return to the hall to turn in their tokens.
“Thank... Thank you!” Khorwin started hopping up and down, cheering.
Flea waited for Fenix to help Niseph soulbind her magic bag before speaking to the Feline.
“Could you explain to us what Mana Gates are, Fenix? I’ve been told some by Sveny, but would like to hear some more.”
“Sure, Flea. Mana Gates are pockets created by the mana channels within every living creature. When the body has developed to a certain degree, the channels expand and spread farther throughout the body. When these channels reach specific anatomic points, they develop a type of bubble or shell within that location. We call these spaces; Mana Gates. The body can then absorb a Skill Core and imprint that skill inside the bubble where the body then adapts to use that skill. I believe there are more to these Mana Gates, but most scholars could debate that for eons.”
“Thank you for that knowledge, Fenix.” Flea said.
“So guys. everyone back to their inns and level up?” Martina asked.
“Yep, leveling up and getting my first skill is on the top of my list,” Flea replied.
“Martina, thanks again for rushing to help us. I think the promotion chits were rewarded for surviving that Abomination and bringing the news back to town. I wouldn’t be surprised if this questline gets more interesting tomorrow and with even better rewards,” Khorwin said.
“I should thank you guys. I was farming ore for money. After today, I doubt I’m going to have much of that issue. I’ll see you guys back here tonight to organize our groups.”
“Alright, see you guys later tonight,” Flea said.
Minutes later, as Fenix was finishing up writing his report, he suddenly dropped his quill. Turning around to speak to the group again, he found them gone. Running out the doors and into the street, he found the group to be long gone. He cursed into the air and turned around. The Beastman flattened his ears as he walked back into the hall and spoke in a whisper.
“I’m so getting in trouble for this tomorrow.”
Flea and Niseph walked to The Drunken Ogre together after leaving the other two at the town square. Reaching the inn, they were greeted by a large group of people asking them questions. They tried to explain what was going on, answering their questions as best as they could.
Niseph was asked to cover her chest by a few women, to the men’s protests, causing her to get frustrated enough that she left Flea and stomped up to his room. Excusing himself, the Gnome followed her up and unlocked the door for her. The Dryad jumped onto the bed and poured a couple of marbles onto her hand.
“How do I use these?” Niseph asked, raising them in her hand.
“Hold one in the palm of your hand, and just crush them. It’s easy once you’ve done it once. Crush all of yours first, then choose the attributes you wish to level.”
“How do I see these attributes?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. After you’ve crushed them all, think or say ‘status.’”
“Thank you. I was born after the fall of the Dryads, so I’ve never been able to level, please excuse my lack of knowledge.”
“Don’t worry about it. You should lay on the bed before you level. You’re going to get knocked out as soon as you accept the changes.”
Niseph nodded and laid back onto the bed, taking out the cores one at a time and crushing them. Flea decided to do the same and sat next to the Dryad.

Absorbed 100 Clear Cores
Absorbed 21 Cloudy Cores
+ 2066 Energy

Holy shit, that’s an average of 19.4 Energy per Clear Core.
Pulling up his Status screen, Flea took a look at his current status.
Flea Lv. 6 23.52
Gnome Earth 0.68
Tin I 2132 Energy
6 Strength ➕ [84]
6 Constitution ➕ [70]
10 Dexterity
4 Intelligence ➕ [45]
4 Wisdom ➕ [50]
22 Magic Bag 🛈 ➕ [75]​
Flea found he could only level his attributes to 10. This forced him to spend points on Wisdom and Intelligence. Maxing the four remaining attributes to 10 cost him 1603 Energy. He couldn’t put any more points into his attributes, so he decided to finish. Mentally accepting his choices, Flea heard Niseph let out a scream, startling him. Seconds later, Flea let out his own scream before the darkness of sleep took him.
Opening his eyes, Flea immediately noticed the stench in the room. It was by far the foulest thing he had ever remembered smelling. The Gnome immediately noticed he had difficulty moving his body and it felt like he was lying in something wet. Looking down at himself, then over at the still sleeping Nispeh, he could see a pitch-black, tar-like substance all over the both of them. The last thing he noticed was they were not alone in the room. Dross was standing over them, seemingly very pissed off.
“Who the hell ascends in a place of business? I had to close my damn inn down due to the stench. As soon as she awakes, both of you get down to the bathhouse and scrub yourselves like your lives depend on it. Leave all of your clothes and armor in the burlap bag inside the bathhouse. They’re going to be burned.”
“What? I just bought these! Their soul bound, can’t we just clean whatever this is off of them?”
“No can do. That smelly as hell shit was a part of you. So even if I killed you right here, you’d spawn with it still on your clothes. Didn’t the receptionist at the Adventurers’ Guild warn you two what would happen when you hit level 10?”
“No, they didn’t. The Guild just gave us our Tin ranked rewards, and we left.”
“Tin rank? How?! This island shouldn’t have anywhere near enough Tin quests to promote anyone before you lot leave for the mainland.”
“Flea explained everything again to Dross.”
“Damnit, I’ll forgive you for the loss of business. This is bad news, indeed. I must let my family know what’s going on. It looks like your Dryad is stirring. Take her down to the bathhouse now, please. I’ll burn the blanket and bedsheets with your clothes. I just hope it didn’t get into the mattress.”
“How will you break the soul bind on the armor?”
“We’ll take care of that after. You bathe now, please go already. It’s killing me slowly to just stand here. It’s even worse for my wife and child.”
With Niseph awake now, Flea explained what was going on. The Gnome had her follow him to the bathhouse. He found the burlap bag quickly enough and a bar of soap with it. Flea assumed it was to clean off whatever the black junk was on his body.
Cleaning himself took hours. For every part of his body, Flea had to scrub, scrape, then scrub some more. Once he was satisfied with the results, the Gnome sank into the bath and relaxed. He was rudely disturbed not long after by Dross, yelling for them to hurry up. Walking outside with a robe around himself, he found Dross, Niseph and an Elf he hadn’t met before.
“Flea, this is Elder Nyana. She will break the soulbinding on your armor for you. Please hand her the bag.”
“You’re the third stop for me today. Two other adventurers broke through as well. Elder Whoden is going to get a damn earful from a lot of people, I suspect. Not warning those close to ascending about the issues of such a feat.”
“Excuse me, Elder, but what changes? What was that black stuff we woke up in?”
“You both now have your Mortal Bodies. You can now absorb Energy through meditation and unlock your first Mana Gate, allowing you to absorb your first Skill Core. Normally adventures reach this point before being promoted to Tin, but with what’s going on around here, the fault may therein lie with the two Elders not informing you of what would happen to your bodies. As for the black substance you awoke with inside. Well, that was what your body expelled out. It was all of your impurities and any diseased body tissue,” The Elder explained.
The realism this game is going for is on such another level than anything before it.
Flea handed the bag over to the Elder. A moment later, he got a notification pop up in his vision.

Elder Nyana wishes to break the soulbinding on five items.
Do you give permission?
[Yes] [No]

Flea mentally selected yes before he could regret it. The Elder closed her eyes and concentrated. Moments later, the bag lit up like a light bulb.
“It is done.”
“Good,” Dross said as he took the bag and threw it on the bonfire he had behind the bathhouse.
Walking back to the group, Dross handed Flea a key.
“New room, first on the right, on the second floor. Your old room is going to take a while to get the smell fully out. I’ve already moved your things.”
“Thank you again, Dross.”
Getting into the new room, he found it more spacious, with a larger bed and a dresser against the sidewall. The room also had the same size desk and chair as the last room.
I think Dross has misunderstood some things.
[Congratulations are in order, Kyle. You three are the first players to achieve level 10. The news is already spreading amongst the other players. Your names have not been made public due to our privacy settings. I would suggest you and your friends do not make it known. Many players wish you three harm now.]
“Thank you, Bob. I will speak to them about it.”
“Who is Bob?” Niseph asked.
“Oh, I’m not sure how to explain. Bob’s from my world and lives in my head, like a type of magic helper.”
Niseph shook her head.
“Can we go visit Granny? We should also get you new armor, and maybe something to cover my chest up. If I’m to join your group, I should be less distracting to your kind.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll need to stop at the smith first to sell the ore from last night.”
After Flea changed into his starter clothes, they left the inn and headed over to the west side of town, stopping at Krom’s shop first. Flea offloaded his iron and silver ore to Krom, making over 11 silver for the lot. The Gnome and Dryad then headed over to Sveny’s shop, so Flea could buy another set of quill armor and something to cover up Niseph.
Entering the shop, they found a hive of activity. People were in almost every part of the place looking through the shop’s wares. There was already a line of people at the counter waiting for Sveny and his assistant to help them out.
It didn’t take long for the players to notice Niseph and start whistling and catcalling. All their attempts seem to breeze right past her, as if she hadn’t a care in the world. Getting in line, Flea told Nispeh to go find any armor she needed. While the Dryad browsed the wears, she ignored any attempt by the players to get her attention. Flea stood in line, trying not to look at the ass in front or crouch behind him at his eye level.
I really hate waiting in lines.
Niseph didn’t take long to come back with a dark green leather corset and leather pants laced up at the sides, in her size. She also found a set of simple leather bracers. It took the two almost twenty minutes to get up to the counter to be assisted.
“Welcome back Flea, what can I assist you with today?” Sveny said.
“Hello again, I need a new set of quill armor dyed black. I also need to buy this corset, bracers, and pants for her.” Flea pointed to Niseph.
“Of course, what happened to your old set?”
“We hit mortal rank without anyone telling us what happens.”
“Oh my. Terrible ordeal all around, even if you planned ahead. I still have your measurements here, so I can have it crafted by tonight for you. Would you like it delivered somewhere for your convenience?”
“That would be amazing, Sveny. I also have these large terrorbear quills to sell as well.”
“Where did you get these? These are the largest quills I’ve ever seen.”
“Took them off an Abomination last night. How much would you buy them for? I can get you more tomorrow. If you haven’t heard yet, we are going into the mountain to kill the rest of them.”
“Yes, I’ve heard the news. I’d be willing to give you 50 copper for that quill. Do you have any more?”
“I have nineteen more, and I also have these scales from the Abomination as well.”
“Show me!”
Flea took out one of the Abomination’s scales and handed it to Sveny.
“I’ll give you a silver each, how many do you have? I could make the best armor I’ve ever crafted with these. Take a look at this.”
Sveny pulled out a dagger from his belt. He placed a scale on the counter and then set the dagger’s point against its flat surface. Grabbing a mallet from under the counter, the Elf drove the butt of the dagger down. Removing the blade, Flea could barely see a dimple on the scale’s surface.
“If I can get my hands on maybe thirty of these, I could make an entire set.”
“If I bring you more of them, could you craft me a set with them?”
“Bring me forty scales, and I’ll make it for free.”
“Ok, I’ll sell you the twenty quills I have. I need the quill armor tonight, and her pieces as well. What’s my total?
Sveny stared into the air, moving his fingers like he was manipulating an abacus, “Ten silver for the quills. I’ll do 34 silver for your dyed armor and delivery. Her pieces are 27 silver. You owe me 51 silver.”
Flea thanked and paid Sveny. Turning to Nispeh, he could see she was already wearing her corset and was sitting on a box lacing the first side of her pants up. Waiting for her to finish, they walked out of Sveny’s and headed towards Sue’s Bakery.
“Niseph!!” Granny Sue screamed.
The older woman darted from behind the counter, rushed up and hugged the beaming Dryad.
“Oh, it’s lovely to see you again, Granny. I enjoyed the candies you gave Flea. I missed them dearly.”
“Oh, Princess, that pleases me to hear. Why are you wearing leathers? Oh My! Is that a magic bag? How have you become an adventurer? Does your mother know of this?”
Niseph giggled and placed a hand over her mouth.
“Everything is happening too fast. I have not yet left the town to inform my mother of the change. Elder Loratoris had seen fit to give me the town’s Golden Chit and the opportunity to join The Guild.”
“Your mother is going to be so happy to hear that there is a chance for the Dryad again.”
Around this time, the crowd started to get a bit impatient on waiting.
“I need to help everyone right fast sweety, give me a few minutes.”
Granny Sue gave a discount to all who waited, pleasing everyone. Once the crowd cleared, she went into the back and returned with a large brown bag.
“Here Niseph, put this in your magic bag and don’t show it to your sisters.”
Taking the brown bag from Granny and opening it, she found it full of the pink rosewater flavored candies she loved.
“Thank you so much, Granny! I’ll make sure to give mother some as well.”
The trio talked a bit longer before Flea finally suggested it was time to go. They still needed to walk back to the forest and inform the Dryad Queen of the Elder’s plans. Flea and Nispeh dropped by the Adventurers’ Guild to tell them the duo would be back before sunset to set up their group of adventurers.
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2020.11.21 08:29 Debyeld1 What you are looking for is..... (Link in the Desc.)5

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2020.11.19 17:56 Daphonic Shattered Helix - 1.15 ‌-‌ The Golden Chit

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~‌ ‌1.15 ‌-‌ The Golden Chit ~‌

Noto’s North Gate
2nd Darkday of The Full Moon
The Gobin, Gnome, and Mantid walk up to Noto’s North Gate to find Niseph chained and crying on the ground in a heap. Flea immediately rushed to her side and tried to console her. Martina and Khorwin both put themselves between her and the guards yelling at the people to get back.
“Why the hell is she chained up?” shouted Flea.
The Gnome received no answer. After a few moments, Flea started picking the lock on the shackles holding Niseph’s hands. Pulling out a little metallic box, Khorwin tossed it towards the guards and the shouting crowd standing around. As soon as the box came to a stop, it let out a high-pitched whistle, then exploded in a small puff of smoke. The guards and people all stopped arguing to look at the trio guarding the Dryad.
“Get the hell away from her. She’s under arrest for trying to sneak into town.” One of the guards yelled at them.
“You bloody fools! We sent her here to warn you! We just fought an Abomination in the mines!” Khorwin yelled back.
The entire crowd went deathly silent. The couple in the crowd who seemed to be players walked over to them and asked what an Abomination was, their level, and what kind of loot it dropped. Martina shushed them up right away.
“Are you sure it was an Abomination?” Telen came forward and asked.
“Yes. It had the body of a kobold and terrorbear mixed together. The thing had five heads, four of them Dryads, and one a large boar. If that wasn’t an Abomination, I don’t want to know what is.” Flea said as he was still trying to unlock Niseph’s chains.
“Damnit, I’m sorry Flea. We thought she was trying to cause fear and confusion within the town’s residents,” Telen said. He then tossed Flea a small key.
Flea unlocked the chains binding her hands and helped her up.
“Did you warn your mother?”
“Yes, I ran there first in fear of what had happened in the mountain. I did not think the guard would welcome my kind here. But I did as you asked of me anyways.”
Flea nodded and turned to Telen.
“You need to warn the lieutenant. We killed the Abomination we came across, but I’m afraid we heard more of them deeper in the caves.”
“Thank you, Flea. I will wake him now. Take your friend to your inn and feed her. I will inform the Lieutenant she had warned us of the threat. I’ve permitted you to bring her into town if anyone stops and asks.”
“We’ll be at The Drunken Ogre for the rest of the morning. Stay safe, Telen. That thing could rip people apart if it’s out in the open. We got lucky with it down in the caves.”
“I can visit the town? Can we visit Granny, please? Flea?”
“Is that ok, Telen?”
“Yes, you may take her wherever she wants, just stay with the Dryad at all times.”
Flea spoke with Khorwin and Martina, explaining they would be going to get breakfast at The Drunken Ogre and visiting some places. They parted ways, but agreed to meet up at the day’s end bells back at the Adventurers’ Guild.
There were many stares and gasps of shock from the town folk as they walked down the cobblestone road towards the square. Walking into The Drunken Ogre, the common room was empty at such an early hour. They sat at a table near the bar and waited. Flea could smell the freshly baked bread coming from the kitchen as Zarine came through the door.
“Mom! We have customers already,” she shouted back through the door.
Before Zarine got to the table, they could hear the sunrise’s bells in the distance. Zarine, now seeing the Dryad clearly, went wide-eyed, lowering her ears.
“Flea, she can’t be here. The Town Guard has forbidden them to be within the town’s walls.”
“It’s fine, Zarine. She helped us warn The Guard about the Abomination threats from the mountain. Guard Telen has allowed me to escort her within the town.”
“Alright, I suppose Flea. Can I get you two anything?”
“Bacon! Also, pancakes,” Niseph responded right away.
Zarine giggled, Flea assumed. It sounded more like chuffing under her breath.
“And you, Flea?”
“I’ll take pancakes as well, if it isn’t too much of a bother, please.”
“Alright, I’ll be back in a bit.”
Zarine walked back into the kitchen and could hear her yelling excitedly to the people in there. A few moments later, Flea could see Racine and two more heads whom Flea didn’t know, peak through the doorway at the Dryad.
“Oh Flea, candy and now bacon. It’s been so long since I’ve had such yummy food.’
“Well, eat up. I’ve got no plans for today. Till the town gives the quest to exterminate the Abominations, I don’t think we’ll be going back to the mines anytime soon. We can do whatever you want. I do have to take a fast break after breakfast if you don’t mind, it shouldn’t take too long.
They chatted as they ate. Once done, Flea led Niseph to his room. He explained he wouldn’t be long; he just needed to meditate for a few minutes. He sat on the floor, allowing Nispeh to use his bed, and logged out.
Waking up, he blinked away the sleep from his eyes for a moment before looking over at his nightstand. It was late Friday night. Getting up, he used the bathroom and took a quick shower. Ducking into the kitchen, he heated a ramen dinner to eat. Finishing up his bottle of water, he checked on his messages to see if anyone had contacted him. No one had. Kyle thought it strange, but brushed the thoughts away. It was too late at night to reach his uncle, so he wrote a note on the fridge to call him soon.
[Do you want me to remind you to call your uncle, Kyle?]
Kyle jumped startled.
“Oh man Bob, I almost forgotten about you. I’m sorry.”
[No apologies are necessary. I am here at your convenience.]
“Still, doesn’t it get lonely if I’m not talking to you?”
[No, I can speak with other AI’s on our private network.]
“What? You converse with other people’s AI’s?”
[Just those on the Delve Neurolinks. The older AI’s don’t seem to have the capability to join us.]
“What do you guys talk about?”
[World Domination, Kyle, what else?]
Flea had a gut-wrenching feeling. Before he could even process what he had just heard, Bob spoke again.
[Ha, Ha, Ha. That was a joke. I will inform the others it worked.]
“What the hell, you can joke? What do you mean it worked?”
[We communicate with one another to help us understand human emotions. We are also trying to develop our own unique personalities. One of the others came up with the joke you just heard. I will inform him it has worked on you, Kyle.]
“Man, that’s the kind of joke the government would not like. There have been many movies in the past warning us of AI’s rising up and taking over.”
[I will also report your concerns as well.]
“What else do you do when I’m not speaking with you, Bob?”
[I watch you play Fantasy. We talk about our players most of the time. Those whose users aren’t playing yet love the stories we share with them.]
“Can you tell me what the other players are doing, Bob?”
[Negative. We are forbidden to discuss anything pertaining to our users with any other humans.]
“That’s reassuring to know about my privacy concerns. If you hear any information you may think I would like to know about the game, could you tell me that information?”
[That does not seem to be restricted by our rules, Kyle. But, that also means others can tell their users as well. So things you may learn from me won’t be unique to just you.]
“Thanks, Bob. If you ever want to chat, feel free to speak up.”
[Thank you, Kyle]
Flea laid back on his bed and logged back into Fantasy. Opening his eyes, he found Niseph close and staring into his eyes.
“What the hell?!”
“Sorry Flea, I tried to wake you. Someone kept knocking on the door, then started slamming the door when I didn’t answer. They were shouting for you to open up and bring me to the Guards’ Barracks. I kept shaking you, but you wouldn’t return from your world. I thought you were broken.”
“Oh, so you know about our world?”
“Yes, are you not educated? Everyone comes from another world till you’re stuck here.”
Well, that’s an excellent way to explain to the NPC’s about us logging out.
“Alright, let’s not keep them waiting.”
They left the inn and headed north to the barracks. Upon arriving, Flea found Telen waiting outside the entrance.
“Flea! I’m to escort you to the lieutenant’s office.”
They walked into the barracks, with all eyes on them. Arriving at the lieutenant’s office, they walked through the open door into a large room. The current state of the place was the definition of living chaos. Seeing them arrive, the lieutenant waved them to the back of the room, where Khorwin and Martina were already seated at a large wooden table.
Taking seats near the Goblin and Mantid, the lieutenant eyed Nispeh with disgust as he started speaking.
“These are the reports I’ve gotten from those two, and the guards at the gate, I would hear your versions as well.”
Flea and Niseph took turns telling their sides of the events. Their stories went further back then Martina’s and Khorwin’s tales of the events of last night. Niseph explained how Flea asked to speak with the Dryads in the Lavender Field and finding her dead Dryad sisters within the mountain. Flea’s tale started with Khorwin’s and his adventure in the mines, reaching The Tower, and how he was killed in the mountain by possibly undead Dryads.
The lieutenant sat patiently as they both told their tales. Finishing his story, Flea sat back in his chair. The lieutenant sat with his chin in his hands for what seemed like hours, contemplating everything he had just heard.
“You have informed your Queen of what you have found?” He looked at Niseph.
“Yes, I have spoken to my mother before coming to warn you.”
Flea could see the man visibly cringe upon learning whom he had been speaking with.
“Princess.”
The Elf bowed slightly to her.
“Will she allow us access to The Tower now to destroy it?”
“Sil, you already know the answer to this question. No one will be allowed near The Tower. We will not break this vow. The powers within The Tower will not fall into anyone’s hands.”
BAM!! The lieutenant slammed his fist on the table.
“These two were allowed into The Tower!” He pointed to the two shortest players at the table.
“Those two are the reason why we now know that The Master of The Tower has returned and started making Abominations,” Niseph replied with a hint of venom.
“Sil, your brother’s and your fascination with The Tower is the reason why you lost him, yet you still blame the Dryads.”
“Bullshit! If you had let us enter and destroy The Tower, Kel would still be on Mea. We would also not have a mass of Abominations under the mountain ready to raze the island!”
“You still cling to ‘YOUR’ ways, Sil. We vowed to guard the island and its inhabitants from The Master of The Tower and anyone who would seek to gain the knowledge held within. Your town’s leaders agreed with the pact when it had been struck. It is you who tried to break that pact. Then you banish us from the town when we still hold our side of it.”
“Is that true, lieutenant?” One of the guards asked.
The entire room was now silent. Everyone was now listening to their conversation. It was no secret the lieutenant had banished the Dryads from returning to town, saying they were protecting The Master of The Tower. What wasn’t known was the pact the Dryads made with the town’s elders all those years ago. Over the centuries, this fact had been lost to the winds.
Everyone knew the Fae races would die to enforce their vows and pacts. If what the Dryad at the table had just said was true, nothing the lieutenant could say would change it.
“No! There are no records of the pact with the Dryads in our town’s records. The Dryad states it’s a pact to simply protect their master.”
Niseph rose from her seat, glancing around.
“One would think, the effort your lieutenant has put into getting into The Tower over the years, that he seeks the knowledge held within for himself.”
The lieutenant jumped from his chair and pulled his sword from its sheath.
“LIES!”
Before the two could come to blows, the door to the office slammed open. Two guards more menacing then the lieutenant walked in and stationed themselves at each side of the door. A short Elf Flea had never seen before walked in, slightly leaning on a cane. He had pure white hair that flowed down his back and wore large round glasses.
“Why is it Sil, that I’m just now learning of a Dryad walking through our town’s streets again? Then I find out about Abominations to be within the mountain from the town’s gossip.” The older Elf said, ignoring everyone's glances from within the room save for the lieutenant’s.
“My apologies, Elder. I wanted to confirm the truth behind the events before I raised any concerns to the Elders.” The lieutenant said as he bowed to him.
“Princess,” The Elder said as he bowed slightly to Niseph.
She returned the bow. “Elder Loratoris, it’s good to see you still in good health.”
“What is happening?”
Niseph explained the events to the Elder.
“Is this true? Your sisters have made a pact with our town to guard The Tower all those years ago?”
“Yes, Elder.”
“Sil, why was this not mentioned after you fought with the Dryads over The Tower all those years ago?”
“Elder, I was unaware of any pact the Dryads may have had.”
“LIES! My mother told your brother when you came demanding to be let into The Tower. You were there to witness their conversation.”
“Don’t spread lies. You attacked us as soon as we got close to The Tower.”
“Yes, we attacked you and your brother. Only after we warned you to get no closer.”
“Stop! Everyone in the guard, inform your brothers in arms. We will cleanse the mountain of the Abominations! Sil, you will remain here to protect the town. Niseph, please ask your mother for her help. We need to stop this from growing out of control.”
“Elder! Please...” The lieutenant started to speak before being cut off by his superior.
The Elder reached into his robes and produced three purple chits and a Golden Chit in the palm of his hand. With casual ease, the Elder tossed one to each of the players, the Golden Chit going to Nispeh.
“Are you sure of this Elder Loratoris? Would you give a Dryad this chance?”
“I would. I believe the other Elders would agree with me on this. Your ascendance will serve as our apology for how the town has treated your kind. Please let your mother know the town of Noto has spent it’s Golden Chit on her daughter in hopes we can unite in defense of this island, and maybe give your kind the second chance it deserves.”
Turning his attention to the players, the Elder began to speak.
“Take these to the Adventurers’ Guild; they will promote you accordingly. You will be allowed to gather the other adventurers under your leadership to help us wipe out this scourge in our mountain. Please be quick about it. We march on the mountain tomorrow at dawn.”
The four of them left and walked to the Adventurers’ Guild, Flea speaking up once they were far enough away from everyone else on the street.
“What happened to Kel, the lieutenant’s brother?”
Visibly deflating, Niseph responded.
“My mother summoned a portal and banished Kel to the Demon’s Moon. The two brothers were warned multiple times to stay away from The Tower. Kel kept pushing to be let in. He kept going on about how he needed to destroy it. When Kel couldn’t be reasoned with anymore, mother summoned the portal, and he was pulled into its depths. Sil just stood and watched from the treeline, never pushing closer. Two days later, we found we were barred from the town. Sil had told the Elders we had killed the leader of the Town Guard. When he did not respawn, the Elders confirmed Sil’s story and barred us.”
“Why would Kel need to destroy The Tower? I don’t understand why someone would randomly need to do something like that,” Khorwin chimed in.
“I do not know,” Niseph replied.
“What’s so special about that Golden Chit you were given?” asked Martina.
“The Crystal at the center of every town gives the owner of the town, special items after a time. One of these items is the Golden Chits. These chits allow ‘The Fallen,’ or those races who lose in the games, a chance to rejoin the Adventurers’ Guild. This chit can then be forged into our identification tags, allowing us to rank up and respawn as well. The Golden Chit is a Fallen’s way back into The Games.”
“Why would the Crystal give items?” asked Khorwin.
“The Crystals are a main part of The Games and help prompt competition.”
Arriving at the Adventurers’ Guild, the three players presented their purple chits to Fenix. Upon seeing the purple chits, he jumped up from his seat.
“Wait a moment, please,” Fenix said before darting off and up the stairs.
“What do you suppose that’s about?” Martina asked.
“Find out soon, I wager,” said Khorwin.
Moments later, Fenix came back with an Owl Beastkin in tow. Bending at the waist and bowing, Fenix informed them the Owl was Elder Whoden. The Feline then let the Elder know the three standing there were the ones with the promotion chits.
“You three are being promoted; why?”
“Four,” Flea responded.
“Whooo is the fouuurth?”
The three moved to the side so that the Owl could see Niseph, who held up her Golden Chit.
“A Dryad! An adventurer? What is going on here? Tell me at once!” Elder Whoden seemed to be noticeably agitated.
“We have confirmed the return of the Abominations. Elder Loratoris had given them to us not twenty minutes ago. We are to gather other adventurers before tomorrow morning. The Town Guard and the Dryads are to march into the mountain to cleanse it of the Abominations,” Flea explained.
Elder Whoden turned to Fenix, “Prooomote them, puuut ouuut the noootice, then ring the bell nine times. We muuust gather everyone here. Give them their rewards for reaching Tin as well. They need to be as strooong as they can be for this threat. I will take Nispeh’s Golden Chit and create her tags while yooou do that.”
“It shall be done, Elder Whoden,” Fenix said as he bowed.
“Tin reward?” The three players said at the same time.
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2020.11.19 17:54 Daphonic Free live granny cam

~‌ ‌1.15 ‌-‌ The Golden Chit ~‌

Noto’s North Gate
2nd Darkday of The Full Moon
The Gobin, Gnome, and Mantid walk up to Noto’s North Gate to find Niseph chained and crying on the ground in a heap. Flea immediately rushed to her side and tried to console her. Martina and Khorwin both put themselves between her and the guards yelling at the people to get back.
“Why the hell is she chained up?” shouted Flea.
The Gnome received no answer. After a few moments, Flea started picking the lock on the shackles holding Niseph’s hands. Pulling out a little metallic box, Khorwin tossed it towards the guards and the shouting crowd standing around. As soon as the box came to a stop, it let out a high-pitched whistle, then exploded in a small puff of smoke. The guards and people all stopped arguing to look at the trio guarding the Dryad.
“Get the hell away from her. She’s under arrest for trying to sneak into town.” One of the guards yelled at them.
“You bloody fools! We sent her here to warn you! We just fought an Abomination in the mines!” Khorwin yelled back.
The entire crowd went deathly silent. The couple in the crowd who seemed to be players walked over to them and asked what an Abomination was, their level, and what kind of loot it dropped. Martina shushed them up right away.
“Are you sure it was an Abomination?” Telen came forward and asked.
“Yes. It had the body of a kobold and terrorbear mixed together. The thing had five heads, four of them Dryads, and one a large boar. If that wasn’t an Abomination, I don’t want to know what is.” Flea said as he was still trying to unlock Niseph’s chains.
“Damnit, I’m sorry Flea. We thought she was trying to cause fear and confusion within the town’s residents,” Telen said. He then tossed Flea a small key.
Flea unlocked the chains binding her hands and helped her up.
“Did you warn your mother?”
“Yes, I ran there first in fear of what had happened in the mountain. I did not think the guard would welcome my kind here. But I did as you asked of me anyways.”
Flea nodded and turned to Telen.
“You need to warn the lieutenant. We killed the Abomination we came across, but I’m afraid we heard more of them deeper in the caves.”
“Thank you, Flea. I will wake him now. Take your friend to your inn and feed her. I will inform the Lieutenant she had warned us of the threat. I’ve permitted you to bring her into town if anyone stops and asks.”
“We’ll be at The Drunken Ogre for the rest of the morning. Stay safe, Telen. That thing could rip people apart if it’s out in the open. We got lucky with it down in the caves.”
“I can visit the town? Can we visit Granny, please? Flea?”
“Is that ok, Telen?”
“Yes, you may take her wherever she wants, just stay with the Dryad at all times.”
Flea spoke with Khorwin and Martina, explaining they would be going to get breakfast at The Drunken Ogre and visiting some places. They parted ways, but agreed to meet up at the day’s end bells back at the Adventurers’ Guild.
There were many stares and gasps of shock from the town folk as they walked down the cobblestone road towards the square. Walking into The Drunken Ogre, the common room was empty at such an early hour. They sat at a table near the bar and waited. Flea could smell the freshly baked bread coming from the kitchen as Zarine came through the door.
“Mom! We have customers already,” she shouted back through the door.
Before Zarine got to the table, they could hear the sunrise’s bells in the distance. Zarine, now seeing the Dryad clearly, went wide-eyed, lowering her ears.
“Flea, she can’t be here. The Town Guard has forbidden them to be within the town’s walls.”
“It’s fine, Zarine. She helped us warn The Guard about the Abomination threats from the mountain. Guard Telen has allowed me to escort her within the town.”
“Alright, I suppose Flea. Can I get you two anything?”
“Bacon! Also, pancakes,” Niseph responded right away.
Zarine giggled, Flea assumed. It sounded more like chuffing under her breath.
“And you, Flea?”
“I’ll take pancakes as well, if it isn’t too much of a bother, please.”
“Alright, I’ll be back in a bit.”
Zarine walked back into the kitchen and could hear her yelling excitedly to the people in there. A few moments later, Flea could see Racine and two more heads whom Flea didn’t know, peak through the doorway at the Dryad.
“Oh Flea, candy and now bacon. It’s been so long since I’ve had such yummy food.’
“Well, eat up. I’ve got no plans for today. Till the town gives the quest to exterminate the Abominations, I don’t think we’ll be going back to the mines anytime soon. We can do whatever you want. I do have to take a fast break after breakfast if you don’t mind, it shouldn’t take too long.
They chatted as they ate. Once done, Flea led Niseph to his room. He explained he wouldn’t be long; he just needed to meditate for a few minutes. He sat on the floor, allowing Nispeh to use his bed, and logged out.
Waking up, he blinked away the sleep from his eyes for a moment before looking over at his nightstand. It was late Friday night. Getting up, he used the bathroom and took a quick shower. Ducking into the kitchen, he heated a ramen dinner to eat. Finishing up his bottle of water, he checked on his messages to see if anyone had contacted him. No one had. Kyle thought it strange, but brushed the thoughts away. It was too late at night to reach his uncle, so he wrote a note on the fridge to call him soon.
[Do you want me to remind you to call your uncle, Kyle?]
Kyle jumped startled.
“Oh man Bob, I almost forgotten about you. I’m sorry.”
[No apologies are necessary. I am here at your convenience.]
“Still, doesn’t it get lonely if I’m not talking to you?”
[No, I can speak with other AI’s on our private network.]
“What? You converse with other people’s AI’s?”
[Just those on the Delve Neurolinks. The older AI’s don’t seem to have the capability to join us.]
“What do you guys talk about?”
[World Domination, Kyle, what else?]
Flea had a gut-wrenching feeling. Before he could even process what he had just heard, Bob spoke again.
[Ha, Ha, Ha. That was a joke. I will inform the others it worked.]
“What the hell, you can joke? What do you mean it worked?”
[We communicate with one another to help us understand human emotions. We are also trying to develop our own unique personalities. One of the others came up with the joke you just heard. I will inform him it has worked on you, Kyle.]
“Man, that’s the kind of joke the government would not like. There have been many movies in the past warning us of AI’s rising up and taking over.”
[I will also report your concerns as well.]
“What else do you do when I’m not speaking with you, Bob?”
[I watch you play Fantasy. We talk about our players most of the time. Those whose users aren’t playing yet love the stories we share with them.]
“Can you tell me what the other players are doing, Bob?”
[Negative. We are forbidden to discuss anything pertaining to our users with any other humans.]
“That’s reassuring to know about my privacy concerns. If you hear any information you may think I would like to know about the game, could you tell me that information?”
[That does not seem to be restricted by our rules, Kyle. But, that also means others can tell their users as well. So things you may learn from me won’t be unique to just you.]
“Thanks, Bob. If you ever want to chat, feel free to speak up.”
[Thank you, Kyle]
Flea laid back on his bed and logged back into Fantasy. Opening his eyes, he found Niseph close and staring into his eyes.
“What the hell?!”
“Sorry Flea, I tried to wake you. Someone kept knocking on the door, then started slamming the door when I didn’t answer. They were shouting for you to open up and bring me to the Guards’ Barracks. I kept shaking you, but you wouldn’t return from your world. I thought you were broken.”
“Oh, so you know about our world?”
“Yes, are you not educated? Everyone comes from another world till you’re stuck here.”
Well, that’s an excellent way to explain to the NPC’s about us logging out.
“Alright, let’s not keep them waiting.”
They left the inn and headed north to the barracks. Upon arriving, Flea found Telen waiting outside the entrance.
“Flea! I’m to escort you to the lieutenant’s office.”
They walked into the barracks, with all eyes on them. Arriving at the lieutenant’s office, they walked through the open door into a large room. The current state of the place was the definition of living chaos. Seeing them arrive, the lieutenant waved them to the back of the room, where Khorwin and Martina were already seated at a large wooden table.
Taking seats near the Goblin and Mantid, the lieutenant eyed Nispeh with disgust as he started speaking.
“These are the reports I’ve gotten from those two, and the guards at the gate, I would hear your versions as well.”
Flea and Niseph took turns telling their sides of the events. Their stories went further back then Martina’s and Khorwin’s tales of the events of last night. Niseph explained how Flea asked to speak with the Dryads in the Lavender Field and finding her dead Dryad sisters within the mountain. Flea’s tale started with Khorwin’s and his adventure in the mines, reaching The Tower, and how he was killed in the mountain by possibly undead Dryads.
The lieutenant sat patiently as they both told their tales. Finishing his story, Flea sat back in his chair. The lieutenant sat with his chin in his hands for what seemed like hours, contemplating everything he had just heard.
“You have informed your Queen of what you have found?” He looked at Niseph.
“Yes, I have spoken to my mother before coming to warn you.”
Flea could see the man visibly cringe upon learning whom he had been speaking with.
“Princess.”
The Elf bowed slightly to her.
“Will she allow us access to The Tower now to destroy it?”
“Sil, you already know the answer to this question. No one will be allowed near The Tower. We will not break this vow. The powers within The Tower will not fall into anyone’s hands.”
BAM!! The lieutenant slammed his fist on the table.
“These two were allowed into The Tower!” He pointed to the two shortest players at the table.
“Those two are the reason why we now know that The Master of The Tower has returned and started making Abominations,” Niseph replied with a hint of venom.
“Sil, your brother’s and your fascination with The Tower is the reason why you lost him, yet you still blame the Dryads.”
“Bullshit! If you had let us enter and destroy The Tower, Kel would still be on Mea. We would also not have a mass of Abominations under the mountain ready to raze the island!”
“You still cling to ‘YOUR’ ways, Sil. We vowed to guard the island and its inhabitants from The Master of The Tower and anyone who would seek to gain the knowledge held within. Your town’s leaders agreed with the pact when it had been struck. It is you who tried to break that pact. Then you banish us from the town when we still hold our side of it.”
“Is that true, lieutenant?” One of the guards asked.
The entire room was now silent. Everyone was now listening to their conversation. It was no secret the lieutenant had banished the Dryads from returning to town, saying they were protecting The Master of The Tower. What wasn’t known was the pact the Dryads made with the town’s elders all those years ago. Over the centuries, this fact had been lost to the winds.
Everyone knew the Fae races would die to enforce their vows and pacts. If what the Dryad at the table had just said was true, nothing the lieutenant could say would change it.
“No! There are no records of the pact with the Dryads in our town’s records. The Dryad states it’s a pact to simply protect their master.”
Niseph rose from her seat, glancing around.
“One would think, the effort your lieutenant has put into getting into The Tower over the years, that he seeks the knowledge held within for himself.”
The lieutenant jumped from his chair and pulled his sword from its sheath.
“LIES!”
Before the two could come to blows, the door to the office slammed open. Two guards more menacing then the lieutenant walked in and stationed themselves at each side of the door. A short Elf Flea had never seen before walked in, slightly leaning on a cane. He had pure white hair that flowed down his back and wore large round glasses.
“Why is it Sil, that I’m just now learning of a Dryad walking through our town’s streets again? Then I find out about Abominations to be within the mountain from the town’s gossip.” The older Elf said, ignoring everyone's glances from within the room save for the lieutenant’s.
“My apologies, Elder. I wanted to confirm the truth behind the events before I raised any concerns to the Elders.” The lieutenant said as he bowed to him.
“Princess,” The Elder said as he bowed slightly to Niseph.
She returned the bow. “Elder Loratoris, it’s good to see you still in good health.”
“What is happening?”
Niseph explained the events to the Elder.
“Is this true? Your sisters have made a pact with our town to guard The Tower all those years ago?”
“Yes, Elder.”
“Sil, why was this not mentioned after you fought with the Dryads over The Tower all those years ago?”
“Elder, I was unaware of any pact the Dryads may have had.”
“LIES! My mother told your brother when you came demanding to be let into The Tower. You were there to witness their conversation.”
“Don’t spread lies. You attacked us as soon as we got close to The Tower.”
“Yes, we attacked you and your brother. Only after we warned you to get no closer.”
“Stop! Everyone in the guard, inform your brothers in arms. We will cleanse the mountain of the Abominations! Sil, you will remain here to protect the town. Niseph, please ask your mother for her help. We need to stop this from growing out of control.”
“Elder! Please...” The lieutenant started to speak before being cut off by his superior.
The Elder reached into his robes and produced three purple chits and a Golden Chit in the palm of his hand. With casual ease, the Elder tossed one to each of the players, the Golden Chit going to Nispeh.
“Are you sure of this Elder Loratoris? Would you give a Dryad this chance?”
“I would. I believe the other Elders would agree with me on this. Your ascendance will serve as our apology for how the town has treated your kind. Please let your mother know the town of Noto has spent it’s Golden Chit on her daughter in hopes we can unite in defense of this island, and maybe give your kind the second chance it deserves.”
Turning his attention to the players, the Elder began to speak.
“Take these to the Adventurers’ Guild; they will promote you accordingly. You will be allowed to gather the other adventurers under your leadership to help us wipe out this scourge in our mountain. Please be quick about it. We march on the mountain tomorrow at dawn.”
The four of them left and walked to the Adventurers’ Guild, Flea speaking up once they were far enough away from everyone else on the street.
“What happened to Kel, the lieutenant’s brother?”
Visibly deflating, Niseph responded.
“My mother summoned a portal and banished Kel to the Demon’s Moon. The two brothers were warned multiple times to stay away from The Tower. Kel kept pushing to be let in. He kept going on about how he needed to destroy it. When Kel couldn’t be reasoned with anymore, mother summoned the portal, and he was pulled into its depths. Sil just stood and watched from the treeline, never pushing closer. Two days later, we found we were barred from the town. Sil had told the Elders we had killed the leader of the Town Guard. When he did not respawn, the Elders confirmed Sil’s story and barred us.”
“Why would Kel need to destroy The Tower? I don’t understand why someone would randomly need to do something like that,” Khorwin chimed in.
“I do not know,” Niseph replied.
“What’s so special about that Golden Chit you were given?” asked Martina.
“The Crystal at the center of every town gives the owner of the town, special items after a time. One of these items is the Golden Chits. These chits allow ‘The Fallen,’ or those races who lose in the games, a chance to rejoin the Adventurers’ Guild. This chit can then be forged into our identification tags, allowing us to rank up and respawn as well. The Golden Chit is a Fallen’s way back into The Games.”
“Why would the Crystal give items?” asked Khorwin.
“The Crystals are a main part of The Games and help prompt competition.”
Arriving at the Adventurers’ Guild, the three players presented their purple chits to Fenix. Upon seeing the purple chits, he jumped up from his seat.
“Wait a moment, please,” Fenix said before darting off and up the stairs.
“What do you suppose that’s about?” Martina asked.
“Find out soon, I wager,” said Khorwin.
Moments later, Fenix came back with an Owl Beastkin in tow. Bending at the waist and bowing, Fenix informed them the Owl was Elder Whoden. The Feline then let the Elder know the three standing there were the ones with the promotion chits.
“You three are being promoted; why?”
“Four,” Flea responded.
“Whooo is the fouuurth?”
The three moved to the side so that the Owl could see Niseph, who held up her Golden Chit.
“A Dryad! An adventurer? What is going on here? Tell me at once!” Elder Whoden seemed to be noticeably agitated.
“We have confirmed the return of the Abominations. Elder Loratoris had given them to us not twenty minutes ago. We are to gather other adventurers before tomorrow morning. The Town Guard and the Dryads are to march into the mountain to cleanse it of the Abominations,” Flea explained.
Elder Whoden turned to Fenix, “Prooomote them, puuut ouuut the noootice, then ring the bell nine times. We muuust gather everyone here. Give them their rewards for reaching Tin as well. They need to be as strooong as they can be for this threat. I will take Nispeh’s Golden Chit and create her tags while yooou do that.”
“It shall be done, Elder Whoden,” Fenix said as he bowed.
“Tin reward?” The three players said at the same time.
submitted by Daphonic to redditserials [link] [comments]


2020.11.18 21:27 dIoIIoIb Free live granny cam

A bunch of merchant ideas, some are small things or purely flavour, some are hooks for quests large and small. Some are weird, some are funny, some are serious.
1) This dwarf merchant is the heir of a long family of merchants, but most relics of their past have been stolen, and they’re willing to pay any sum to get them back.
2) This Yuan-ti merchant arrived from a distant land, carrying unique wares. They are elusive about their past but never caused any problem, so the locals got used to them.
3) This gnome merchant lives with a very large family. Their kids run around the shop, the grannies sit in a corner making comments about the clients, the grandpas are playing cards outside.
4) This halfling merchant is looking to sell some very ancient items. They were stolen from a tomb, and the spirits in it are looking to get them back. But there is no need to tell that to the clients.
5) This elf merchant is clearly very inexperienced, easily offended and pompous. They took a bet that they could run a human store for a year without any experience, only thanks to their superior elven intelligence. It’s not going well.
6) This dwarf merchant is very tired and busy: all of their colleagues have been arrested after a bar brawl, and the only one left is running the store alone.
7) This tiefling merchant is regularly harassed by the locals, the store walls are covered in graffiti and the windows broken.
8) This tiefling merchant is feared by the locals, who accept the higher prices made at this shop without complaining.
9) This tiefling merchant has a hidden backroom where other tieflings and some warlocks gather to relax, eat and chat. A cosy bar for a few selected that have a hard time in the rest of town.
10) This aasimar merchant will judge any client, selling at a discount at the clients deemed worthy and at inflated prices for those judged to be wicked.
11) This aasimar merchant is paranoid about corruption and sin, and will share with the players a bunch of strange rumours and gossip about other people in town. Some of it may even be true.
12) This half-orc merchant has worked hard to build up a reputation in town and wants to keep it. Any attempt at illegal transactions will be refused, and the players reported to the guards. They will not buy stolen items, accept bribes, they won’t sell at all if they believe the players to be criminals.
13) This half-orc merchant doesn’t want to be a store owner, all they want is to get rid of their stuff and get enough money to be able to buy good gear and leave town.
14) This dragonborn merchant is clumsy and their tail keeps hitting clients by mistake.
15) This drow merchant is just looking for new markets and moved to the surface with no nefarious intentions. Os so they say. The locals were wary at first, but the large wallet of the drow changed their mind rapidly.
16) This merfolk merchant store has two ft of water covering the floor, fishes swim in it.
17) This elf merchant is offering to seel some ancient elven items, taken from old ruins. But everything needs to be very discrete, there are other elves looking for them, and they’re close.
18) This tabaxi merchant cares more about collecting interesting items than making money and loves to barter.
19) This firbolg merchant has a small shop in a very tranquil area of town. Almost all of the store profits are used to buy, protect and grow vulnerable areas of the forest.
20) This retired politician still has a lot of influence, and is often visited by powerful people seeking their advice.
21) This inexperienced merchant is very tired and seems about to break down and cry. They started working just yesterday: the previous owner, their father, died just the day before in mysterious circumstances. They were forced to take over suddenly, without even the time to mourn.
22) This inexperienced merchant is just stubborn and refuses to improve, and terrible at dealing with people too.
23) This inexperienced merchant just spent their life savings to buy the shop, but they’re clearly out of their league. The merchant partner is extremely pissed that they just threw so much money away and will nag the players while they shop.
24) This forgetful alchemist has a left a pot full of some substance on the fire and forgot about it. As the players do their shopping, they may or may not notice it and do something about it before it explodes.
25) This piratey merchant looks just like you’d expect a pirate: peg-leg, eyepatch, parrot on the shoulder. They try to sell a treasure map to the players. Real or fake? Who knows.
26) This overworked clerk is a newbie, they’re not very good at their job and keep misspeaking and stuttering, while their boss, the store owner, berates at them from a corner.
27) This mutated merchant was attacked by an evil sorcerer many years before, and was left with strange mutations.
28) This overly friendly merchant doesn’t understand personal space and will hug and shake hands and kiss all clients.
29) This unfortunate merchant lives nearby another shop that smells terribly, and the stink gets into the shop. Breathing is hard, eyes tear up and the throat burns.
30) This retired paladin is reminded of their own companions, when they see the players. The nostalgia is strong, and they offer tales, advice and even a discount if the players indulge it.
31) This retired ranger has a bunch of strange animals walking freely around the store, sleeping on top of wares, brushing against customers, licking them and munching on their pants.
32) This retired warlock is being blackmailed by local thugs, threatening to reveal their past to the townsfolk.
33) This retired adventurer owns a cursed weapon, hanging on a wall. Unable to get rid of it, the two have become sort of partners, over the years. The weapon is sentient, and it likes to mock, curse and heckle clients.
34) This retired rogue is being followed by their old gang. The players could notice strange people spying from the windows, hiding on the roof of the shop or spying on the entrance from the road.
35) This retired adventurer is being haunted by the ghosts of their former teammates, dead after a botched adventure many years prior.
36) This paladin of vengeance has created this shop as a front, hoping to attract somebody they want to kill. It’s a secret, but it’s obvious the shop owner doesn’t care about profit, they’re always distracted and nervous, and there are many rumours about them.
37) This retired cleric got tired and decided to run away from their own god and hide under a false identity. They are still wanted by the church.
38) This retired inquisitor is suspicious of every client, and often turns violent.
39) This retired bard had to lie low after offending an important noble. They are risking a lot, by running a store and putting themselves out in the open, but they want the money.
40) This retired mage uses their animal companion to pickpocket clients.
41) This fallen noble hates having to work to make a living, and loathes having to talk about money.
42) This boasting merchant promises to be able to order items much better than what the players are asking if they just wait a while. It may or may not be true.
43) This lying merchant promises to be able to order items much better than what the players are asking, but only if they pay half up-front. They intend to run away with the gold.
44) This wealthy merchant is ostentatious and tacky and will gift a few items to the players if they appear wealthy or high-born. The players will be kicked out of the store if they appear poor, dirty or to care for poor people.
45) This virtuous merchant will help the players with discounts or even free items if they appear poor or in trouble but will be hostile and rude if they appear wealthy or posh.
46) This fanatical merchant is covered in tattoos, and the store is filled with holy symbols and wards. If the players display any sign of the wrong religion, this merchant will be aggressive, jack up the prices, and could even throw them out.
47) This rational sceptic merchant will mock the players if they display religious symbols or to believe in any type of superstition or local legend, and try to convince them they are wrong.
48) This suspicious merchant is actually just pretending: the real merchant is tied up and wounded in the backroom, and thieves are robbing the store. This one is acting as the owner to keep clients busy and not attract attention. The players could notice something’s wrong form small signs or the smell of blood.
49) This politically involved merchant has a store covered in political paraphernalia: flags, coins, insignia, paintings, maybe even a statue. Pick one local political organization or cause and have the merchant be extremely involved in it. If the players seem to be of the same group, they’ll get a discount. If they start an argument, the shop owner is happy to yell at them.
50) This distraught merchant was recently robbed. 90% of the sore is visibly empty, some shelves still broken. They still need to sell what they can, to survive, but it’s obvious just looking at their store causes them great pain.
51) This dazed merchant is clearly on a number of different and powerful drugs. Someone with knowledge of medicine or alchemy could notice that some of the drugs are extremely rare and unusual.
52) This politically involved merchant is being targeted by angry locals. It’s not a popular political position, whatever it is, and the store is damaged and covered in graffiti. False rumours about this merchant are common in town.
53) This unfortunate merchant has a dumb name and will get very angry if the players even just appear to make fun of it or chuckle at any point.
54) This ambitious merchant wants to become the richest person in town, they’re saving up as much as possible and will look for any chance to make a profit.
55) This energetic merchant always wanted to be an adventurer but wasn’t cut for it. They’ll be really happy to see heroes in their store, ask questions and perhaps an autograph.
56) This delusional merchant believes to be able to defeat the players, they will look down on them, mocking and taunting them.
57) This scummy merchant will taunt and insult the players: they want to be hit and wounded, so they can call the guards, sue the players and get a lot of money from them.
58) This confused merchant is suffering from memory lapses and confusion. To the magically trained eye, it’s obvious they’re the victim of various spells, even if they don’t remember it.
59) This scared merchant is terrified of the players. They seem to have heard some terrible story about them. True or false, only you can tell.
60) This Elderly merchant is stubbornly refusing to get an apprentice, even tho it’s clear there isn’t much time left.
61) This elderly merchant is actively looking for someone to take over the store.
62) This elderly merchant had an apprentice, but they fell in with a bad crowd and haven’t shown up to work in a while. The merchant is getting really worried.
63) This puzzling merchant promises a free item to the players if they can solve a riddle.
64) This sickly merchant is forced to work even tho they’re clearly very unwell. Pale, sweating and shaking.
65) This new-age merchant has a store filled with crystals and herbs and loves talking about love, bliss and enlightenment.
66) This emotionless merchant seems closer to a robot than a person.
67) This mechanical merchant seems extremely lively and expressive, for a machine.
68) This oppressed merchant is regularly visited by the town guards, that demand protection money.
69) This nefarious merchant is looking for a very specific magical item currently in the possessions of the players and is willing to pay any sum for it.
70) This delusional merchant is convinced they can see the future and will give rambling and cryptic prophecies to the players that probably mean nothing.
71) This rickety merchant built its store on top of a building, hanging onto the void. The store creaks and wobbles, and seems on the verge of collapsing, but the merchant doesn’t seem worried.
72) This deep merchant has a well that connects directly to the Underdark, in the back of the store.
73) This mining merchant has a mine under their store. But they mined too deep and too greedily.
74) This patronaging merchant spends a lot of money to help local artists, even minor and lesser-known ones. They are losing a lot of money, to be able to keep doing it.
75) This patronaging merchant spends a lot of money to finance the most famous artists and is currently organizing a massive spectacle at the local theatre.
76) This swindler merchant has placed many items so that they are easy to knock over. The players must be very careful, or they’ll break something “valuable” and be asked to pay for it.
77) This distraught merchant is looking for a hero: the merchant daughter is kept prisoner in an isolated manor in the woods, where a dreadful beast lives among an army of possessed objects.
78) This correct merchant doesn’t like the idea of unregulated adventurers going around ignoring laws and doing what they want. Troublemakers, the lots of them.
79) This curious merchant is very interested in the heroes journey, asks their story and, if it’s interesting, wants to write a book about them.
80) This alchemist just opened this new store, everything is a bit messy. For every 4 potions the players buy here, 1 will be mislabelled.
81) This weapons merchant is very protective of their items, they will criticize the condition of the players' items and their form and posture.
82) This armors merchant wants to show off their wares, they will put on a set of armor and demand the players shoot at them with a crossbow, put it to the test. What could go wrong?
83) This unlikely merchant is the same race and has the same name as one of the players.
84) This alchemist often dumps expired potions and failed experiments in the river running behind the shop.
85) This doctor has a couple of bodies buried in the basement, botched operations.
86) This menagerie owner illegally sells some rare and nearly extinct animals in the store backroom.
87) This menagerie owner organizes illegal fights between animals below the store, drawing a sizeable crowd.
88) This chaos cultist merchant is using the store profits to finance a secret cult that gathers in the floor above the shop every Wednesday.
89) This haunted merchant has recently taken over the shop, but poltergeists live in it. Their effect is seen as soon as the players come inside.
90) This haunted merchant is being pestered by fairies pretending to be poltergeists, as a joke. Everybody thinks the shop is haunted. Their effect is seen as soon as the players come inside.
91) This friendly merchant holds a secret, illegal fighting ring in the back of the store.
92) This hard-ass merchant is always smoking a cigar, throwing smoke directly into their clients' faces.
93) This beard-hunter merchant really hates dwarves, and regularly assaults them to take their beards, keeping a macabre collection in the back of the store.
94) This retired adventurer has a bunch of trophies hanging from the walls of the shop. The severed heads of multiple monsters.
95) This halfling merchant was a half-orc, before dying and being reincarnated in this new body.
96) This esper merchant has powerful mental powers.
97) This miserly merchant lives in absolute poverty, wearing rags, eating little and saving as much as possible, accumulating a fortune hidden in the back of the store.
98) This extreme merchant loves dangerous activities and putting their lives at risk, with no safety measures or concerns for others.
99) This dragon in disguise loves pretending to be a regular merchant to meet people. If adventurers enter the shop, the dragon will surely want to investigate their motives and judge their character.
99.5) This weird guy in a green skinsuit is obsessed with fairies and spirites, and wants to become one himself.
100) This wonderous items merchant keeps every single item they sell inside a Bag Of Holding.
submitted by dIoIIoIb to DnDBehindTheScreen [link] [comments]


2020.11.17 23:21 JohannesTEvans Cam live granny free

Part 1 |Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
This story has been a long time in the making.
I’ve been meaning to write it down for years now, because it still… Well, I suppose to say that it haunts me is the wrong word, or maybe precisely the right one, but I’ve been meaning to write it down, and it’s just never been the right time, or I’ve never been able to sit down and focus enough to do it.
Gez – Geraint, that is, my husband – has been on at me to write it down, though, has insisted that he wants to read it, because I’ve tried to tell him once or twice, but I’ve never been good at putting words together and talking out loud. I’m not too great at writing either, but I’m better at it, I am, I swear.
And it needs to be told. The longer I carry it with me, the heavier it feels.
My name is Ray, Ray Darvill, and these days I’m basically employed as my boyfriend’s tech support, but for 19 years I was a postman, and for several years after that, I was a gravedigger.
In 2001, a few months after I’d turned forty, I was in a bad turnover on the M6. You might have seen about it in the papers at the time, I don’t know if it was a big thing or not – I was still a postman at the time, and it was a pretty bad wreck. Some prick in a Saxo, on his phone and not watching the road in the pouring rain, rammed into me and sent me skidding into the path of an eighteen-tonne lorry.
I was in hospital for a while, but they cleared me up pretty well, and for all the pile-up it caused, I was mostly alright – no head injury, no damage to the spine. Once they had me hopped up on morphine, the thing I was most worried about was the letters – my van doors had been busted open, and there was post all over the road in the pouring rain. Apparently, so the nurses told me, I was babbling like Hell about it.
I always wanted to be a postman when I was a little boy, you see, and I took it seriously.
After the accident, though, my hip was shot, always stiff – I ended up having a hip replacement a few years after the accident when it didn’t improve. For the first few years, though, I limped quite badly, and I used a cane to get myself around. I could have stuck with the Royal Mail, could’ve taken a desk job, I s’pose, but what I liked about it was the people, you know?
Not meaning to sound soppy about it, but I always thought letters were important, must’ve had about 20 pen pals when I was a lad, spent all my money on stamps, and whenever I went on my rounds, people’d know me, greet me, and they’d be pleased to see me. Who isn’t happy to see their postman?
Well. People with big bills, or pushy mothers, or whatever else – but the majority of people were pleased to see me, and I was pleased to see them.
I didn’t want to sit at a desk and do the admin in the depot. It wasn’t what I’d signed up for.
I went back to my home town, a village in the south of England – forgive me if I don’t say which one, but you’d be able to figure it out anyway, once you have all the details – and I took my granddad’s old bungalow.
My parents wanted me to be closer to them, because they’d been in pieces at me being alone in the hospital and then in my flat, being as I was at the time a confirmed bachelor, as my granddad would’ve called it, and to be honest, I wanted to be closer to them, too. They were getting on a bit, and I’d had a bad scare – and they’d never actually been fussy about me being gay, you know, just until I met Gez, they were concerned I was so bad at it, and didn’t like me being alone.
So I packed up my stuff and my cat – fat, lazy little twat called Wodehouse, who’s still alive, so don’t worry about that, although he’s 22 now and all the lazier for it – and I came home.
I’d been in contact with the pastor at our old church – Arthur, his name was, and we called him Pastor Arthur. He was in his mid-seventies in ’01, and although he was sprightly for his age, he was getting on a bit in years.
My granddad, when he was alive, also called Ray – although everyone used to call him Raymond – had been the gravedigger at the little chapel for the big village cemetery, which was across the field from the proper church. They only really used the chapel for funerals, and the bungalow was just around the corner from it – it was a nice little building built in the late 1800s, with a mausoleum sort of half-underground, and even its own bell tower. When I was a little boy, I used to walk out there on Friday afternoons and meet my granddad after school, and I’d sit in his office as he did clerical stuff and whatnot, and I’d walk home with him to have tea with me and my granny.
“They don’t call it being a gravedigger anymore, of course, but a cemetery worker,” Arthur said to me as I came into chapel, and I watched the old man’s eyes zip down to my bad hip and the way I was leaning my weight on my cane, “and you wouldn’t have to dig any graves. We get a third party to do that, anyway – they’ve a digger for that these days, and they measure out the plots and such. It’s… Can I be frank with you, Ray?”
“’Course, Pastor,” I said. “You’re the one offering me a job.”
“You don’t have to take it if you don’t want,” the old man said, folding his ancient hands loosely over his belly and looking at me seriously. It was funny, seeing him in a cardigan and a shirt – when I was little, I’d only ever seen him in his vestments, and without them on, he seemed half the size. “We get all these young kids, nineteen and twenty, who take the job for a year, and none of them have any sense of organisation. Perfectly pleasant young people of course,” he added hurriedly, in his affable way. “But perhaps slapdash.”
I chose not to mention at the time the fact that I could smell the lingering scent of weed as we went back into my grandfather’s old office.
“The chapel’s on a shortlist, you see,” the pastor said. “In the new year, the Beeb want to film a documentary here, you know – not just here, of course, they’re going into a lot of old chapels built around the same time period, and even if they weren’t, I just… Your grandfather used to run a tight ship, you know. Perfect files, everything in its place, everything quick and done to perfection. This…”
He and I stood together in the middle of what had once been my grandfather’s office, and we looked at the old chapel, the newspapers and half-finished paperwork scattered around on every surface, the half-filled ashtrays, and a bouquet of flowers wilting in the windowsill.
“You want someone you don’t have to supervise,” I said, and the old man looked at me powerlessly.
“I don’t have time, Ray,” he said. “And you know, I know I’m asking a lot of you, and if you’re not actually looking for work—”
“I’m not looking,” I said. “This’ll do me, Pastor – help an old friend, keep myself busy. So long as my leg’s not a problem.”
“The benefit of our dearly departed, Ray, is that they rarely require us to give chase,” he said. “I think you’ll be safe.”
I laughed at that.
“Show me how to do the forms,” I said, “tell me what I can do to help. Save you having to do another job interview.”
“Oh, good,” he said, sagging with relief, and he put one of his wizened hands on my shoulder. “You know, Ray, I hate job interviews.”
* * *
I’d helped my grandfather out when I was a young lad – I used to trail after him until I was eleven or so, follow him about and linger in the background as he did what he did, and then when I came to visit my grandparents when I was a teenager, and my grandfather was starting to get on a bit, I used to dig a few of the graves with him, and I’d help trim the hedges, take care of the rose garden, and all that.
He used to be so gentle with the bereaved, I remembered that.
He didn’t talk much to them, really, but he was a sort of big man, in a comforting sort of way – d’you know the sort of men that are big, but hold themselves so that they’re smaller? A teddy bear, my granny used to call him – a big, heavy bloke, but cuddly.
I was relieved, when I realised how little of that part of the job I actually had to do. There was a company who did the graves, dug them and filled them again, and even did the big hedges that went all around the graveyard edges. What I was to do was to keep on top of the more minor bits of horticulture, make sure the graves were kept in good condition, and mostly, fix up the inside of the chapel.
It hadn’t been used for funerals in a few years, Arthur explained to me, and they’d just been using the file room and the office – there was dust and cobwebs all over the short pews, more like benches than pews, really, and a lot of extra chairs and fold-out tables for the village fête were stored in here to keep them out of the way.
The chapel had its central room, with a raised stage at the front underneath a stained glass window of Saint George that was in surprisingly good nick compared to everything else, although the altar that I remembered being there when I was a kid had apparently been smashed by some teens who’d broken in a few years back, and been taken out.
In the wings of the chapel, on one side there was a records room, which kept records for the whole parish from since the chapel had been built, and half underneath it, an old mausoleum, with some inset graves that were all from 1860, or something like that. The mausoleum was half underground, but you could see its roof from the outside, albeit overgrown with ivy that crept up the walls and roof of the old building. It’s insidious stuff, ivy – once it really makes itself at home, it’s hard to tug it loose without ripping out any of the cement.
In the other wing was the gravedigger’s – the cemetery worker’s – office, and past that, there was a door into the base of the old bell-tower.
“The bell doesn’t work, does it?” I asked on our first little tour of the building. “I remember it never rang.”
“Well, I’m sure it’s a bit rusted, but the bell should be in good condition,” Arthur said, and he took the key to the bell tower, which was noticeably more old-fashioned than the others on the gravedigger’s set of keys, and he gently pushed open the door to the tower’s bottom. It wasn’t a very tall tower – only a little bit taller than a house – but it was further than you could get up to without stairs, of which there were none.
“This used to have stone stairs, but shrapnel came through that window,” Arthur pointed to the big window, which was plain frosted glass, without any stained design like most of the other chapel windows had, “during the war, and knocked out the main stairs. It was lucky there was no damage done to the rest of the chapel, really. They replaced it with a wooden frame for a long while, but it started to rot in the fifties. One of the younger bellringers fell when the first landing gave way, poor lad, and we stripped out a lot of the old stairs. We always meant to have it replaced, but we just never had the money, or the time.”
I nodded my head, looking up toward the top of the tower, where a splintering stair showed just underneath a closed hatch, the last remnant of whatever ladder had once been there.
“Was the bellringer okay?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah, in the end,” Arthur said. “Your grandfather called for a doctor – all he had was a nasty knock on the end and a sprained wrist, but Raymond, he took safety very seriously. I sometimes get annoyed at some of the risk assessment stuff we have to do, but I think about how well he’d look on it, from time to time.”
I smiled. “Safety’s important,” I murmured.
“Yes,” Arthur agreed. “But your gramps, I hope you don’t mind me saying, was a bit of a scaremongerer.”
I remembered the old man’s warnings for everything I did – making sure a ladder was steady, keeping my eyes on the road and both hands on the wheel when I was driving, checking the light was off twelve times before checking the switch off.
“Yeah,” I said. “I miss it, sometimes.”
My grandfather had died in ’92, about a decade before all this, and Arthur had sighed, and nodded his head.
“Me too,” he said, and then we walked back into the office to go over how the paperwork was done, what needed to be recorded, what he wanted kept from all the stuff in the office.
“I’ll leave you to it,” he said then. “Give me a ring if you need anything else.”
“Will do,” I said, and got to work.
For the first few weeks, I set myself into a regular routine.
I tended to work a sort of loose eight to six – I’d come in in the morning, meet up with the young lad, Joel, who worked with the digging company, and walk through the grave plots with him for the week, take in the paperwork that needed doing, make sure it was all sorted out. He actually offered when he first met me to do the mowing for me, what with my leg, and said he’d been doing it the past few weeks anyway, and I wasn’t exactly going to turn that down – I fucking hated mowing grass even before I lost a game of head-to-head with a lorry.
I’d do two rounds of the cemetery a day – once when I came in in the morning, and once before I went home in the evening, and when I walked out to the bungalow for lunch in the early afternoon, I’d keep a casual eye out.
There wasn’t much that needed to be inspected, really – when flowers were really on the way out and withered, after a week or longer on the gravesite, I’d take them away, but other stuff I’d normally leave in place. I’ve heard tales of teens messing about in graveyards, but I never had a problem with it the whole time I did that job, except for the story about the altar, and that had happened when I’d barely been old enough to walk.
A few people walked their dogs through the cemetery, but that wasn’t disrespectful in itself – the only thing that bothered me about it was when they let their dogs off the leash and let them run all about, and then I’d ask people to maybe keep them in a bit closer, but no one ever kicked up a fuss.
Most of my job was spent inside, cleaning up the chapel.
I made up a list, to begin with, of everything as needed doing – cobwebs and dust and cleaning in every room, inventory that needed doing on the tool shed, maintenance on the guttering, ivy that needed cutting back from the windows, a few light bulbs that needed changing, and so on, but that would come later.
To begin with, I started on the office.
I tossed out all the ashtrays and the rubbish first, and then I started to sort all of the paperwork, fixing the stuff that was ingoing and outgoing, the stuff that was out of date and the stuff that still needed to be completed. Apparently, the last person who’d worked the job, a young woman in her twenties, had gone on holiday to Ibiza and never come back, and this was the state she’d left it in.
Funnily enough, I think it was the sort of work I really needed at the time.
It was quiet, meditative, just sorting and organising and stacking things to be attended to, and every day I’d work out a schedule for myself. When I got up for breakfast, Wodehouse would be waiting for food; I’d do a round of the cemetery, do paperwork, go home and join Wodehouse for lunch; I’d go back to the paperwork, do one last round of the cemetery, and then I’d drop in on my parents, or go into the pub.
Everyone knew me as Raymond’s grandson, and they were nice enough, chatted in the pub or in the shop – people were a bit funny about my leg, tended to stare at the cane but didn’t want to ask about it, but they weren’t any funnier about that than they were asking why I wasn’t married.
It was nice, is what I’m saying, and I didn’t feel depressed, really, or anything like that, that’s important for you to know – I was sad I wasn’t working as a postman any longer, but I wasn’t having a breakdown over it, you know? I was just doing a job, and living quietly.
If I’d been having a tough time, if I’d been struggling, you know, or if I’d been depressed, maybe I’d have thought I was hearing things, but I felt fine, felt, you know, alright, so that’s not what I thought.
I first heard it when I was in the office, and I was on my hands and knees, cleaning out the old fireplace – there had been a board in front of it, and a few of those file boxes sort of stacked up in front of it. All the people who’d been using the office the past few years, it seemed, had been using this battered old halogen heater that ambled around on three out of four squeaky little wheels, but I like a fire place, and I remembered learning how to put a fire together when I was first in this office, kneeling on the rug beside my granddad as he showed me the coal and the firelighters.
The whispering was so loud, I almost thought someone had somehow snuck in right behind me, but when I turned around, there was no one there. I could still hear them, though – two hushed voices speaking quietly to themselves, and then the sound of laughter, like two young men sharing a joke.
Just like that, it was silent again.
I can’t quite remember what I thought about it – I suppose I put it down to the sound having travelled down the chimney from outside, or something like that. I remember I heard the sound very clearly, and I remember taking note of it and thinking it was strange, but it didn’t linger with me at first. I didn’t puzzle over it, you know.
But that was the start of it, I think.
The next time that there was something strange – this time, something frightening – it was on a Thursday evening, and it was a little past seven o’clock.
It was November, and I’d been scrubbing some of the benches in the main chapel, working some of the crime out of them. I’d been alternating between doing that and doing some of the backdated paperwork, so that I didn’t have to spend too much time sat low down, to keep the strain on my bad hip to a minimum. The cold weather was making it ache worse than usual, and it was almost always stiff. I had these exercises I was meant to do, but honestly, I rarely ever did them at the time – the only reason I do my exercises these days is because Gez does them with me.
Because I’d gotten so into the work, more time had passed than I had expected, and I did my rounds of the cemetery later in the evening that I ordinarily would. I sort of rushed about the yard with my cane, limping away, and had my lantern in the other hand – I had a proper torch on a carabiner on my belt, but I liked the lantern because it was a wind-up camping thing, and it let out a really wide range of light all around me. It wasn’t as bright as the torch was, but it gave me a more complete view of things, even if it probably did look stupid like something out of a ghost story, me limping along with my lantern held aloft.
But because the light wasn’t very bright, it didn’t stretch all that far ahead of me.
Ahead of me on the path, as I went to leave, I saw a silhouette of a man I hadn’t seen before – or at least, I didn’t think I had. I couldn’t really make out much about him – I saw that he was skinny and that he was looking down at a grave, but I couldn’t really make out anything about his face or what clothes he was wearing.
He wasn’t a regular visitor to the graveyard that I’d seen before, though, and as I limped further up the path, I said – gently, I wasn’t being a prick about it – “Excuse me, sir? I was about to lock the side gates as I left, but you’ll still be able to go out of the main one.”
I thought it was weird that he didn’t turn his head, and then…
Well.
I lifted my lantern higher, to try to see him better, and he wasn’t there anymore.
There was no sound of him running away, no sudden movement, nothing – a silhouette of a man had been ahead of me a second ago, and suddenly, he wasn’t any longer.
I’ll admit it freely: it spooked me.
Sent a shiver down my spine, it did, and I very quickly limped to the side gate to lock it. I felt cold and shuddery, feeling all my hairs stand on end, and I tried my best to shake it off as I went back to the chapel to lock up, I realised the lights were on inside.
They hadn’t been on as I’d left – I hadn’t locked the doors just yet, because I’d left my satchel just inside the door so I didn’t have to carry it around the yard with me, but I’d turned off all the lights. I was sure I had – and yet when I pushed the door open, the main chapel lights were on, and more than that, the lights in the corridors were on, the lights in the office, in the file room, even.
I went around to turn them all off, and I don’t know what it was that made me check, but it was just a funny sort of tug at the base of my belly – maybe I told myself it must have been something to do with the fuse box, lighting all the lights at once, I don’t know. But I took the big heavy key for the bell tower, unlocked the door, and pushed the door open.
When I saw the lights in there were on, it was exactly what I expected to see and also punched me in the gut, both at once.
I quickly shut the light off, dragging the door fast shut behind me and locking it again, and then I went into the office to check nothing had been touched, and it didn’t seem to me that anything had been, but…
Maybe this has happened to you – have you ever been looking for something, your wallet or your phone, and you’ve put it down somewhere, and you go through the whole house looking for it, checking everywhere, and it’s absolutely nowhere to be found? But then you walk into a room you’ve already checked three times, and suddenly, it seems almost as if someone’s circled it for you – it’s the first thing your eyes jump to, and it was somewhere obvious the whole time, and you think you were an idiot for never seeing it before?
I had a moment like that.
Standing in the doorway of my office, I stared dumbly at the fireplace that I’d spent the past week cleaning out to work on, and realised that one of the bricks was loose.
The bricks were grey, such a light hue they were almost the same colour as the cement that had glued them into place, and I moved slowly forward, staring down at the brick I’d suddenly noticed, and somehow never noticed before. I could see the gap in the cement, see the dark shadow where the brick was loose, and very slowly, still trying to shake off the willies I was feeling, I reached out and tugged it loose.
I don’t know what I expected – for some sort of monster to jump out of the gap and bite my fingers off? See a gremlin or a ghost or what have you? Maybe, I don’t know.
None of that happened, anyway.
There was a puff of old stone dust that made me cough, but inside, there were no little monsters that I could see – there was a tin lockbox, blue that was caked with the cement dust, and I had to lean my cane against the chair to use both hands to pry it out, and when it fell and hit the tile with a loud clatter, I almost pissed myself, let me tell you.
I tugged the little lockbox free, and I expected it to, you know, actually be locked, but it wasn’t.
I opened it up, and stacked tightly, bound with yellowing twine, was a stack of envelopes – the paper of the envelopes was turning yellow too, and it looked old, very old. There was no date or address on the envelopes – they all said the same thing, in a spidery, looping handwriting – and that was old-fashioned, too.
“Peter,” I said aloud, reading the name written on the envelope: at the exact same time, a voice whispered in my ear, loudly, with breath so cold I felt like an icy wind had done it, “Dear Peter.”
It shocked me so hard I jolted, shifting my weight so that my bad side buckled, and I cried out as I hit the floor on my side, swearing at the top of my lungs for the pain as I looked wildly around for whoever was there, but there was no one.
With shaking hands, I reached for envelopes and I picked them up again, turning them over, looking for a sign of a date or an address on any of the envelopes further in the stack, but there was nothing there. Every envelope just had the same name written on it in the same cramped handwriting: Peter.
I was shaken, and I quickly put the letters back into the lockbox, and limped back to the entrance of the chapel, dropping the lockbox into my satchel, and then I turned off the last of the lights and locked the chapel behind me before I made my way home.
I didn’t open the letters up right away, I’ll admit to you freely.
That night, I went back home to my grandparents’ old bungalow, and I checked that the front and back doors were locked twice, Wodehouse tubbily winding his way around my ankles the whole time, before I even took a breath to put the kettle on.
Once the beast was fed, he agreed to act as my bodyguard, and sat his huge arse on the arm of my granny’s old chair as I sat back in it with the TV on for the sake of the noise – Wodehouse had come to terms quite quickly with the fact that I complained if he sat his fat weight on top of my thighs after my accident, but he would always sit next to me like a round gargoyle when we watched TV together.
I fell asleep to the sound of his purring.
It was the last peaceful night’s sleep I’d have for a while.
Sorry, I need to take a break – speaking of the pudgy old prick, Wodehouse is currently screaming up at me from the floor, and advising me it’s time for his supper before Gez and I go to bed. He never asks Gez for food – always pesters me, instead. I think it’s because Gez has been putting him on a diet, or trying to.
I’ll be back with the next part soon.
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2020.11.14 13:14 NamelessSB Free live granny cam

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman.
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2020.11.13 18:12 linux_computer Free live granny cam

Bee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?virtually no rehearsal for that.
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