Dude spy cam

2020.11.27 07:59 averiantha Dude spy cam

My girlfriend worked a job where she looked after children that were taken away from their parents due to abuse. Essentially these were middle home where the kids lived until they appropriate foster parents were found.
At my house, I currently have security cameras setup because my girlfriend and I like to spy on our cats when we aren't home. While my girlfriend was at work, she decided to check the security cam footage to see what the cats were up to. Jokingly, I ran in front of the security camera and performed a meat spin (Essentially twirling my dick around). The reason I knew she was checking the cameras is because a red light goes on underneath the camera when somebody is viewing it.
Proud of myself, I sat down at my computer. A few minutes later I received an sms 'dude, wtf are you doing', and then a bit after that I received a phone call from my girlfriend telling me how I fucked up and how she was trying to show the kids the cats. I told my girlfriend to calm down and nothing would eventuate from it.
A few days later my girlfriend tells me that she received a phone call from her boss stating that she was unable to go to work while an investigation was being done as it was alleged she showed inappropriate videos to the children. About 2 weeks later she was officially fired from her job.
This all happened about 5 years ago and my girlfriend is going good now and we are still dating some how, however I thought I would reminisce on it.
tl:dr - girlfriend was at work where she worked with kids, she showed the kids our home security cameras and I approached them and twirled my dick.
submitted by averiantha to tifu [link] [comments]


2020.11.05 21:31 hallach_halil Dude spy cam


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We have made it through the first eight weeks of the 2020 season and it’s time to hand out some trophies (not literally of course, since we have to wait until the year is over). I already did this when I predicted the entire season about a week before we kicked things off and a lot of the candidates I mentioned back then, you will here again, but at the same time, some guys have kind of come out of nowhere. For some of these categories, three names were enough, while for a few others I mentioned two more notables. So who have been my MVP, Defensive Player and Coach of the Year, among others, for the first half of the season? Plus, at the bottom I added my All-Pro teams at this point.
Also make sure to check out my detailed recap of NFL week eight.

Most Valuable Player:
I think three candidates have kind of separated themselves from the rest of the pack in this MVP discussion and the guy I have at the top has been there all season long, because no other player has been more valuable to his team and their success.

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1. Russell Wilson
I have always said Wilson is one of the premiere quarterbacks in the NFL and that the only thing holding him back from quite putting up the same numbers other MVP candidates have produced is his own coaching staff and the conservative he plays in. Well, this year Brian Schottenheimer & company have finally listened to Seahawks fans screaming to “let Russ cook” and he has been smoking hot. Russ is top three in completion percentage (71.5%) and yards per attempt (8.4) and yards per game (307.3), leads NFL with a passer rating of 120.8 and 26 touchdown passes, which makes up for more than one TD every 10th attempt – also an NFL-best mark. And the crazy part is that his team has needed him to be that explosive, since Seattle’s defense has given up an average of 460.9 yards per game – easily the most of any team in the league. The Seahawks themselves are scoring an NFL-best 34.3 points per game and their season-low(!) 27 points came in a matchup, where he led one of his two game-winning drives on the season (versus Minnesota). He is also the only quarterback with multiple starts to not have lost a fumble all season long. The only blemish on Wilson’s resume and the Hawks lone loss came at Arizona in a Sunday Night game, where their quarterback threw three of his six interceptions on the year and that was his only performance that he had a passer rating below 100 in. However in that game, he lit up the Cardinals with the deep ball and made some incredible plays throughout the night. And if you break down the three picks he threw, two of them came by defenders who had to cover a ton of ground and no quarterback would have anticipated them to even be a factor, while on that third one D.K. slowed down for a back-shoulder throw The Seahawks put 35 points on the Patriots, 31 against the Dolphins number-one scoring defense and just now 37 against San Francisco – and it could easily been more if the came wasn’t completely out of hand in the fourth quarter.

2. Patrick Mahomes
I know Mahomes has five TD passes less than Russ despite having played one more game, but he also only has one interception on the year – and that one came when he pushed it downfield on a 4th & long towards the end of the Chiefs’ only loss on the season. He is also behind only Wilson in quarterback rating (115.0) and first in QBR (86.8), with the latter thanks to what he has done taking off when nothing is there, which he has really gotten great at once he sees 2-man or other favorable situations. Of the 34 times he has taken off, nine have resulted in first downs and he finished in the end-zone twice. Of course this is still about Mahomes and Kansas City trashing opposing teams with all those weapons in the passing game. With defenses playing a lot more soft coverage against the Chiefs, Mahomes has taken advantage underneath with those short completions, while still finding ways to allow his receivers to uncover on secondary routes and getting the ball to them from all different angles. So his intended air yards may not be overly impressive, because of all the screens and stuff they draw up, and he might “only” be sixth in yards per attempt, but Pat is still tied for first with 31 passes of 20+ yards. He absolutely picked apart the Ravens defense in that huge Monday Night showdown, which tried every coverage and blitz package imaginable and the quarterback had an answer for all of them, completing some throws nobody in the league could make. The Chiefs’ season-low in points (23) came at the Chargers, when he certainly didn’t start out great, but still found a way to lead a comeback and win in overtime. And even in their only loss of the season against the Raiders, it was the opposing offense converting a sneak on fourth down, that denied Mahomes a chance to finish their late push.

3. Aaron Rodgers
When you look at Rodgers’ most impressive statistic for his career it is his ridiculous touchdown-to-interception ratio of 4.47, which is a full point better than the next-closest guy (Russell Wilson) and twice as good as anybody that hasn’t played in the 2010’s. Well, right now he has the second-best rate for this season, behind only Patrick Mahomes at 20-2, and those two picks came in his only bad game at Tampa Bay. I’m not going to sugercoat this in any way – after going up 10-0 and once that pass-rush from the Bucs was unleashed, he could not get anything going. With that being said, he has been phenomenal in the six other contests, having throw less than 3 TDs in only of them and his lowest QB rating being at 107.6, with both of those thing coming against Detroit in week two, when the Packers just didn’t need him to crazy and still put up 42 points, as Aaron Jones got loose on multiple occasions. And Rodgers had not fumbled until that very last play we saw from him, as he was stripped from behind while trying to launch a Hail Mary at the end of the Vikings game. By the way, he was incredible in that loss as well, as the only two times the offense was stopped, Equanimeous St. Brown had consecutive passes go off his hands and then the refs for no apparent reason picked up the flag on a blatant pass interference against Robert Tonyan inside the red-zone. Rodgers leads the league with seven completions of 40+ yards and right now Drew Lock is the only starter in the league with a higher mark in yards beyond the sticks (0.9) – which when you look at the rest of the numbers isn’t always an endorsement for the second-year QB, as Lock has three more INTs on 100 less attempts. And outside of Davante Adams – who has missed some time – Rodgers hasn’t really been able to rely on any of his receivers, as they are tied for the most passes dropped at 18, even though the other two QBs with that number have played one more game than Green Bay.

Notables: Josh Allen & Tom Brady

Offensive Player of the Year:
Of course, you could name the same three candidates from the MVP section here, but I tried to mix things up a little and give you three other names worthy of the award. And that includes only one quarterback.

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1. Alvin Kamara
I know that this award is often given to quarterbacks as well and it looks odd that Kamara is 16th in the league in rushing (431 yards), but he is averaging five yards per carry and he is also second to only DeAndre Hopkins among all players with 55 catches for an additional 556 yards through the air – so just over 10 yards per grab. Right now he is on pace for 2256 scrimmage yards on right around 20 touches a week, while he would also easily break the NFL record for receiving yards for a running back (1271 over 1191 from Charley Taylor in 1966). And he leads the league not only in scrimmage yards but also percentage of his offense’s yardage (36.5%), while being tied for first with 12 plays of 20+ yards on the season. While he has caught a couple of key wheel routes and can win as a downfield receiver, so far 94.5(!) percent of his receiving yards have come after the catch, constantly bailing out his quarterback by making something happen after checkdowns and ripping off big gains in the screen game. I mean against the Packers he caught 13 of 14 targets for 139 yards and he was the only reason they were in that game in the first place. The explosiveness, the contact balance and the ability get six or seven yards when there should be only three is unmatched. Kamara has scored reached the end-zone seven times and his only fumble, he recovered himself again. He is by far the best player on this Saints offense and the team overall and in the absence of Michael Thomas, he has been asked to shoulder the load for them. Since his lowest output in the season-opener, Kamara has not been held under 119 scrimmage yards in any other week.

2. Kyler Murray
While Murray is only 16th among current starters in passing yards per game, only Russell Wilson and by about half a yard Justin Herbert have put up more combined passing and rushing yards at 326.3 a week. Right now, only Joe Burrow and Matt Ryan have been responsible for more combined first downs and touchdowns, and those two have played a full matchup more than the Cardinals and both just won their second games of the season, while Kyler is doing it in service of a 5-2 team, which outside of his own production has averaged less than 100 rushing yards on a weekly basis. As a runner, he leads all NFL players (with double-digit carries) in yards per attempt at 6.7 and 35 of his 65 carries led to first downs or touchdowns (seven TDs). I would not call Arizona’s passing game overly explosive, as Kyler is barely in the top 20 in yards per attempt (7.3), 20+ yard throws (21) and average yards to the sticks (-0.9), but a lot of that has to do with what Kliff Kingsbury wants to do with his Air Raid-based offense, while his QB is tied for second with six throws of 40+ yards and already has an 80-yarder on his resume. Plus, with that guy at the helm, they have the potential to get as hot as pretty much any team out there. Kyler had one really bad game against the Lions, in which Detroit used a lot of different coverages that had them all over the Cardinals route patterns, but #1 has been outstanding the rest of the year and I don’t come away from a lot of games thinking that a lot of his production was served up by the play-calling. I said a couple of weeks that Deshaun Watson is the most elusive quarterback in the league, but nobody is quicker at evading defenders and keeping himself upright. We all love Russell Wilson and his ability to extend plays, but just compare these numbers – Russ has been pressured 79 times and he’s been hit or sacked on 50 of those, Kyler on the other has been pressured 44 times (significantly less due to more of a horizontal passing attack), but he’s only been sacked nine times and taken five more hits (14 total). And Kyler already outdueled Russ on Sunday Night of week seven.

3. Derrick Henry
King Henry is once again holding the crown for the league’s rushing leader at this moment. His 775 rushing yards are 123 more than any other player in the league, and while that is in correlation with handling the most carries of all RBs, he still averaging 4.8 yards per attempt, despite being asked to grind away games for the Titans. Right around 30 percent of his touches has resulted in a first down or touchdown (43 total first downs and eight TDs) and about 58 percent of his total yardage has come after contact. Nobody wants to tackle King Henry, because he can plow through 300-pounder defensive linemen at the point of attack and throw DBs around like ragdolls, when he gets around the edge (looking at you, Josh Norman), but at the same time, once he gets rolling, he is as fast as any player on the field, which we saw already when he ripped of an NFL-long 94-yarder against the Texans a couple of weeks ago. The difference between Henry and some of the other franchise backs is that he doesn’t contribute a whole lot in the passing game outside of a few screens (10 catches for 81 yards), but nobody takes on a bigger load than this guy and he really sets the table for everything the Titans do, with the heavy play-action and bootlegs. Usually this guy really starts rolling over the second half of the season, but he has been dominant right from the start this year. When you look at the three games Henry didn’t put 112+ yards on the ground, in two of them the opposing defense totally sold out against the run and Ryan Tannehill completed 75 percent of his passes with seven TDs and no picks, while the team scored 33 and 42 points respectively, and the other one came against the Steelers’ dominant defensive front. On the other hand, he also has the most scrimmage yards in a game all season, when he destroyed the Texans for 264 yards and took over that one overtime drive, to win it.

Notables: The three MVP candidates
Defensive Player of the Year:
I think there is pretty clear top three in this one as well and I can honestly see an argument for each one of them to be the pick, but I have stuck my selection (and bet) of a guy I believed would come back even hungrier in 2020.

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1. Myles Garrett
This was my preseason pick for Defensive Player of the Year and similar to Russell Wilson’s MVP campaign, I have been riding this all season long. Myles Garrett is tied for a league-high nine sacks and only two players have hit the opposing quarterback more overall than him. The only two games he didn’t record a sack (the season-opener at Baltimore and this past week against the Raiders), the opposing team ran the ball on 56 and 65 percent respectively and somehow all those sacks he has put up have come in big moments – a strip on Joe Burrow to set up the offense at the Bengals 1-yard line after they were just stopped on fourth down in an eight-point game, another against Washington after the Browns finally extended the lead to more than one score, stripping Dak Prescott when the game was tied at 14 and set off a 27-0 run, setting the offense up in field goal range for their first points in the rematch with Cincinnati and while it won’t be found on the stats sheet, he also directly forced a safety on a throw-away by Philip Rivers to make it a two-score game against the Colts. The only other player that has forced four fumbles just like Myles is Ravens DB Marlon Humphrey, who has become a Peanut Punch specialist – and Garrett has also recovered a couple of those himself, with both of them directly setting up touchdown for the offense from short distance. Plus, he is excellent run-defender, who can yank blockers to the side and makes tackles around the line scrimmage, with only one miss on the season. Myles has grown so much with his technique as a pass-rusher, while obviously having that incredible combination of length and athleticism, but also might have gotten “looser” in his movement and how he can torque his body different ways. And the Browns are now using him as a mismatch against guards on passing downs quite a bit.

2. Aaron Donald
Just like he has been the last five years or so, Aaron Donald is right up there with the favorite for Defensive Player of the Year and I would not be surprised at all if he won his third trophy at the end of the season. Donald is tied with Myles Garrett for the league-lead in sacks at nine and he is top five in total pressures (22) and QB hits (13), despite offensive lines sliding his way constantly. We have literally seen this man get triple-teamed and lift All-Pro offensive linemen off their feet, but only T.J. Watt has a higher pass-rush win percentage according to Pro Football Focus (25%). This guy is the only player with a four-sack performance this season and not only does he obviously contribute in a major way himself, but because of the way he gives his teammates one-on-one’s consistently, his Rams only have three other teams in front of them in terms of sacks as unit (26), despite not having a lot of names that you would recognize, outside a questionable former first-rounder in Leonard Floyd. And I just mentioned the only two players with more forced fumbles than Donald (Garrett and Humphrey), who has three himself. He has also recorded seven tackles for loss and only missed one of his 26 tackling attempts. The crazy part with his game is that for all the numbers you can actually see, there’s about twice as many plays he makes that don’t show up anywhere in the records. The only reason I don’t have him at number one is that he has four games without a full sack and that Garrett has been a little more consistent at coming up with those real game-changing plays. Still, AD is clearly right up there.

3. T.J. Watt
And then this guy is as complete an edge defender as we have in the league. Watt can set the edge at the point of attack, he can chase ball-carriers down from behind as the unblocked man at the line and this past Sunday against Baltimore, we saw him take both guys at times on those read-option plays. Of his 25 tackles on the season, 12 have resulted in lost yardage, which is tied with teammate Vince Williams for a league-high. As a pass-rusher, Watt is “only” tied for fourth with 6.5 sacks, but his 21 hits on opposing QBs is four more than any other player in the league and the 27 total pressure are three more than the next-closest guy as well, while PFF has him tagged with the highest pass-rush win rate in correlation with that (27%). And he headlines the most destructive pass-rush in the league, as the Steelers defense leads the league with 30 sacks and easily has the highest pressure percentage of any unit out there at a whopping 35.0 percent. Watt has also batted down three passes and picked one off. He can do your classic flat drops or carry guys out of the backfield at times, but he can also stand up and move around the line to blitz from different angles or act as a spy at times. He surprisingly has yet to force a fumble this season, but I can remember right now on the very first play he was on the field against the Titans, a good 20 quarterbacks would have lost the ball in that moment with Watt swiping at it, and since he led the league in that category last season, I have no doubt he will rack up a few of those FFs still.


Offensive Rookie of the Year: This award has two quarterbacks battling it out at the top right now, with one young star receivers and a couple of running backs – one picked in the first round and the other going undrafted – who are also in the running.

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1. Justin Herbert
I get that coaches always try to protect their young quarterbacks and want to give them time to learn from the sidelines, but I hope everybody gets that Herbert and Tyrod Taylor aren’t even close to each other. And I have always liked Tyrod as a bridge-starter or game-manager type, but this rookie QB has taken this offense to a completely different level. When you just look at the schedule, you see that the two QBs have the same amount of wins on the season (only one for Herbert against the Jaguars), but in the season-opener the Chargers only put up 16 points against the Bengals, who have given up 28.2 per week from that point on, and L.A. has scored 27.2 points a game since then. It is not Herbert’s fault that his defense has let him down in the second half of games and allowed big comebacks. He took Patrick Mahomes & company to overtime, had his team up 24-7 against the Bucs before a fumble a minute until halftime started turning things around, he outplayed Drew Brees at the Superdome and was inches away in overtime from pulling off a game-tying or -winning drives and before the Bolts defense allowed an epic collapse last Sunday, they were dominating the Broncos 24-3 midway through the third quarter. The way Herbert has opened up the offense with the deep ball is incredible, with two 70+ TDs on the resume already, and he makes the whole field available, after they were very limited before. Among current starters, Herbert is third in passing yards per game (303.3) and second in combined touchdowns per game (3.0), while also being top ten in completion percentage, yards per attempt, quarterback rating and QBR. He is on pace to throw for 4550 yards and 38 touchdowns to go with about 350 rushing yards and five more TDs on the ground, over the course of a 15-game season. Those numbers would shatter all rookie records.

2. Joe Burrow
No other team has thrown the ball more than the Bengals (330 pass attempts) and their quarterback leads the league with 221 completions on the season (67% completion percentage). With 11 touchdowns compared to five interceptions, that ratio doesn’t look overly impressive, but he has set up a lot of short rushing TDs, while Cincinnati barely cracks 100 rushing yards per game as a team and only one other squad averages less yards per carry (3.7). Until this past weekend, Burrow was tied with Carson Wentz for the most-sacked quarterbacks in the league, but thanks to a non-existent pass-rush for the Titans, in large part due to the spread-based passing attack the Bengals bring to the table, a clean week has the Bengals QB at “only” 28 sacks so far. However, he has been under the fire all season long, being tied for third with 79 total pressures, despite only eight quarterbacks spending less time in the pocket. And Burrow has yet to complete less than 60 percent of his passes in any game. I know the Bengals were blown out in that one Ravens game, but do we realize that was their only loss by more than one score? They tied the Eagles in a game where Burrow was sacked eight times and hit every other snap, they scored 30+ in their two matchups with the Browns, they were up 21-0 against the Colts in the second quarter and just this past Sunday they beat the recently 5-1 Titans by double-digits. And I would argue their rookie quarterback is by far the biggest reason for it. They are already guaranteed a better record this year than last season, as we are halfway through the season – and they are getting better every week. This guy is the future in Cincinnati. Now they just need to protect him and get that defense going.

3. Justin Jefferson
I know that Odell Beckham Jr. was the only wide receiver to be named Offensive Rookie of the Year in the last ten years and I wouldn’t put anybody on the same level as that historic season, but since then this is the most impressive start we have seen for a rookie receiver. Through seven games, Jefferson has caught 31 of his 40 targets for 563 yards and three touchdowns. That puts him 12th among all receivers in yards per game, while having recorded a league-high 14.1 yards per target and 22 of his 31 grabs has resulted in a fresh set of downs. After a rather slow start, with five catches for 70 yards through the first two weeks, Jefferson came onto the scene with 71-yarder against the Titans and now already has three games of 100+ receiving yards, while only having played 74 percent of the snaps on the season. Jefferson has only dropped one pass and not fumbled once, while Kirk Cousins when targeting the rookie receiver, has a passer rating of over 100 despite having thrown four picks and I wouldn’t put a single one of those on the receiver definitely, as on a couple of them there was a linebacker dropping underneath a deep crosser that Cousins stared down the whole way, a badly underthrown pass into a tight window and on another one he and the rookie wideout clearly weren’t on the same page in terms of the route he was supposed to run. Through eight weeks, Jefferson is Pro Football Focus has the second-highest grade among all NFL receivers. I have always been a fan of Adam Thielen and he is Cousins’ favorite target, but to determine who opposing teams believe is more dangerous, all I have to do is watch the Packers put Jaire Alexander on the first-year man for almost the whole game last week.

Notables: James Robinson & Clyde Edwards-Helaire


Defensive Rookie of the Year:
For the defensive side of the ball, this rookie selection was a little tougher, because there are a few guys that have filled the stat sheet across the board, but you don’t have those typical front-runners with a lot of sacks or interceptions, which usually take home the honors.

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1. Antoine Winfield Jr.
When I look at who I believe is the best pro player among all defensive rookies already, I would say this is the name that comes to mind. Tampa Bay’s defensive scheme isn’t simple. They ran a lot of different coverages, they can blitz anybody and there are a lot of rules that you have to understand as a member of that unit. Winfield has come in and looked him he belonged from the first time he touched the field. The rookie safety has played 515 of 522 snaps on defense and he shows up quite a bit in the box score. He has recorded 31 solo tackles and only two misses all season long, showing off what a dependable tackler he is in space. He has intercepted a passe and broken up four more, plus he has forced fumble. And call it P.I. or not, he denied a two-point conversion to potentially tie the game this past Monday Night against the Giants. To go with that, he has asked to blitz 29 times in Todd Bowles’ pressure-heavy scheme, resulting in two sacks and three extra hits on the quarterbacks. What made me a big fan of Winfield coming out of Minnesota was the versatility he presents and the fact he played so much bigger than his size would indicate. The Bucs coaching staff has utilized a lot around the line of scrimmage a lot and I love how he drives on routes in quarters coverage. He gas been “credited” with giving up just over 200 yards and two touchdowns, to go with a passer rating of 114.4 in coverage, but I think about half of that production came on two plays in the Chargers game, once with him ending up as the closest defender on a deep bomb, when the other safety should have actually opened up and then on a scramble drill play, where Keenan Allen uncovered late against him.

2. Patrick Queen
Baltimore has a rich tradition of middle linebackers, but not so much when it comes to LSU players, with Ozzie Newsome as an Alabama alumn not having drafted a single Tigers player in over 20 years as the Ravens GM. This year, with Eric DeCosta calling the shots, they wanted to bring in a dynamic player to put in the middle of their defense and when Patrick Queen surprisingly was still on the board when they were making their first-round pick this past April, it didn’t matter which college he came from. Queen was immediately put in the starting lineup and he has been filling up the stat sheet from the start. In seven games, he has recorded 48 combined tackles, four of them for loss, two sacks to go with five more QB hits, two fumbles forced and recovered, including a long scoop-and-score. His speed at the second level to string guys out to the sideline or get to the quarterback on delayed blitzes has been a big reason this defense has gone to a higher level in 2020. Of course, he is still a first-year player and not perfect. Queen has already missed 11 tackles and there have been some moments where the rookie seemed a little confused. Two that come to mind right away – the Chiefs running that double-swing fake before throwing the TE screen over the middle, where they had Queen’s head spinning and then last week against the Steelers, where I’m pretty sure he should have covered tight-end Eric Ebron in man, but thought he had the back and that allowed Ebron to easily score on a shallow crosser from 18 yards out. He is learning and we have already seen moments, where he just sees it and goes, shutting down plays before they can even get going, while he obviously has a knack for the ball.

3. Jeremy Chinn
One of the small-school prospects I loved in this most recent draft was this 6’3”, 220-pound safety from Southern Illinois, who put up ridiculous numbers at the scouting combine and showed incredible potential on film. So far, he has put up 38 solo tackles – most by any rookie in the league, has intercepted one pass and broken up another five. Chinn has been all over the field, with his ability to cover ground and erase angles for the ball-carrier. One of the two or three negatives I had about him and why I had him around the top 50 and not even higher was the ability to process information post-snap, to not just have his talent take him to the ball, but also the anticipation and identification of certain keys to react quickly. I believe Matt Rhule, defensive coordinator Phil Snow and that entire staff has done an outstanding job of simplifying Chinn’s assignments and just letting him around and make plays. Once he sees something happening in front of him, he can get there as fast as pretty much any player in the league and the Panthers have allowed that talent to flourish. The biggest issue for him are the ten missed tackles so far, but he’ll clean that up as well. Through eight weeks, Chinn has played 96 percent of the defensive snaps and been a fixture on the punt team as well, where he had a huge first-down run against the Falcons in last week’s Thursday Night game on a fake. As he gets more comfortable in the system, I expect him to become a bigger part of the pass-rush, because his closing speed as a blitzer is just absurd.

Notables: Jaylon Johnson & Julian Blackmon
Comeback Player of the Year:
As I say every year when making my preseason picks, this is the most vague award of the list, because there are so many different ways you can look at it – players who were hurt for most/all of last season, guys who had a few off-years and then those who were out of the league altogether.

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1. Ben Roethlisberger
Roethlisberger is completing 67.9 percent of his passes and while he is only 25th in passing yards per game (232.6), a lot of that has to do with being part of a 7-0 team with the best defense in the league and trying to run down the clock late in games a lot of times. Big Ben has been really steady for Pittsburgh, not having completed less than 63 percent of his passes yet for a total of 15 touchdowns compared to only four interceptions, with five games that didn’t include any turnovers from him. Of those four picks, one came on a wobbling 50-50 pass, where Juju immediately called for pass interference, one came in the end-zone on the final play before halftime and another was batted up by a defensive lineman right into the hands of a linebacker. The Steelers are tied for third with converting 49.5 percent of their third downs and even though their run game is about average, they control the clock primarily with the short passing game, where their quarterback gets everybody involved. And when his team has needed him most Big Ben has come through, with two go-ahead touchdown drives in fourth quarters and taking over on crucial drives, with no-huddle attacks and almost exclusively going in the shotgun to spread it around. In the battle of unbeatens at Tennessee, the Steelers were up 24-7 at halftime, with Roethlisberger converting all four third downs with nine or more yards to go. This past Sunday in Baltimore in a huge AFC North clash with the Ravens, the Steelers offense could not get anything done for the first half plus, with Lamar Jackson gifting his opponents 14 points directly off turnovers, but when Pittsburgh needed to a couple of touchdowns to go ahead, their quarterback came through, as they threw the ball on 15 of those 18 plays and the three runs resulted in -1 yard (+ a touchdown). To do this after a season-ending elbow injury on his throwing arm last year is impressive.

2. Jason Verrett
For this one we have to go all the way back to like 2015 and even before that. Jason Verrett was a first-team All-American selection in 2013 and then a first-round pick for the Chargers coming out of TCU. After showing a ton of potential in an injury-riddled rookie campaign, he became a Pro Bowler in his second season with three interceptions and 12 more passes deflected, including a pick-six. The next two years, he only played a combined five games with consecutive ACL injuries and then missed all of 2018 with a torn Achilles. His bad injury luck would follow him to San Francisco however, as he would go on IR with an ankle injury shortly after signing with the 49ers last year. Now, finally in 2020 he is back on the field and balling out. Verrett had a big interception in the end-zone against the Rams a couple of weeks ago and three PBUs the rest of the season, having started the last six games. However, it is the more advanced stats about what the veteran corner has done in coverage that are really impressive. On 25 targets, he has given up just 123 yards and no touchdowns. Plus, he is a highly dependable tackler, having only missed one attempt all season and holding opposing receivers to just 32 yards after the catch. The 49ers had major issues with their corners for large stretches of the season, as Richard Sherman has been on IR since week one and the with Emmanuel Moseley also missing some time, those other guys on the boundary have gotten roasted in some of their matchups. Not with Verrett. He has easily been a top ten player at his position so far and I don’t know how you can take him out of the starting lineup, once they have Sherm and Moseley back together.

3. Aldon Smith
I thought long and hard about putting Rob Gronkowski here, because after Gronk look like his feet were stuck in mud early on, he and Tom Brady are not operating at a really high level again, and it almost seems like the big tight-end got his confidence back. However, I decided to go with somebody who was not one but five(!) years out of the league and as we all know, this award is a lot about the stories of these players. When Aldon Smith was drafted in 2011, it was immediately between him and Von Miller as the best young edge rusher in the league, and Smith out-produced the Broncos All-Pro with 14 and 19.5 sacks in his first two years, before he entered a rehabilitation center midway through 2013 season, when he has on path for another one of those years. The two following seasons, he looked like a shell of himself in San Francisco and then Oakland, as his mind clearly wasn’t right, with several off-the-field issues leading two suspensions that cost him the 2016 and ’17 seasons. Now, all the way in 2020, he is back with the Dallas Cowboys and especially early on he looked like a dominant player on the edge. Smith is now at five sacks on the season, with three of those coming against the Seahawks, as he was the only defensive player that kept his team in the game, with additional hits on the quarterbacks. To go with that, he has made some nice tackles in the run game, fighting off blocks and getting hands on the ball-carrier. He has cooled off a little bit these last few weeks, but the lack of production is more a product of how bad the Cowboys defense has been as a whole and long much they’ve been on the field. If he was on a team right now, that allowed him to rush in obvious passing situation, he could potentially be in the Defensive Player of the Year conversation.

Notables: Rob Gronkowski & Alex Smith


Play of the Year:
https://preview.redd.it/e7hgczoznhx51.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=367a15768a5e30164afcabc575cbf2e6700ff75f

1. D.K. Metcalf chase-down tackle on Budda Baker after the INT
One of the greatest hustle plays you will ever see and it started a meme fest on the internet.

2. Derrick Henry 94-yard touchdown run vs. Texans
The combination of speed and power is freakish for this dude. He tore Houston a new one.

3. Odell Beckham Jr. going 60 yards on the reverse vs. Cowboys
Of couese bad effort and angles by the Dallas defense, but this looked like Giants Odell.



All-Pro teams:
Since this is not about building a team or anything like that, I just went to the most used personnel sets for either side of the ball – 11 personnel and nickel defense – and filled up those spots with who I believe have been the best players at those positions. So there is differentiating between left and right tackle, 4-3 defensive end and 3-4 were put together as “EDGE” and there are just any two stand-up linebackers inserted.

Offense:
LT David Bakhtiari
LG Quenton Nelson
C Corey Linsley
RG Wyatt Teller
RT Duane Brown
Second team: Laremy Tunsil, Michael Onwenu, Jason Kelce, Gabe Jackson & Ryan Ramczyk

WR DeAndre Hopkins
WR D.K. Metcalf
WR Davante Adams
TE Travis Kelce
Second team: Calvin Ridley, Stefon Diggs, Justin Jefferson & George Kittle

QB Russell Wilson
RB Alvin Kamara
Second team: Patrick Mahomes & Derrick Henry

Defense:
DE Myles Garrett
DT Aaron Donald
DT Chris Jones
DE T.J. Watt
Second team: Khalil Mack, Jeffery Simmons, Cam Heyward & Calais Campbell

LB Fred Warner
LB Lavonte David
Second team: Darius Leonard & K.J. Wright

CB Kyle Fuller
CB Jaire Alexander
NB Marlon Humphrey
Second team: James Bradberry, Jalen Ramsey & Jason Verrett

FS Minkah Fitzpatrick
SS Budda Baker
Second team: Jessie Bates & Antoine Winfield



Coach of the Year in the comments!!

If you enjoyed this content, I would really appreciate if you could visit the original piece - https://halilsrealfootballtalk.com/2020/11/05/nfl-2020-midseason-awards/
Also make sure you check out my detailed recap of the NFL's week eight on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXx87t1Dcvk
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2020.10.29 15:58 Meda126Octl Dude spy cam

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2020.10.29 07:52 PhillipRayne [Fantasy World Epsilon 30-10] - 10.4 Sting Like a Butterfly

Cover|Start|Previous|Next
Jon managed to avoid the cam flies up to this point, and he could tell because Ril wasn’t rolling round in abject ecstasy on the street. As he passed over her, he stuck to the gantries and walkways strung between the trees. That was not going to last for very long. Ril had given the sorry cunt one hell of a literal ass whooping that sent him scuttling. If only I could run away from her too. Still, he was losing the bastard, and a long block of arboreal buildings obstructed Kay. It was up to him.
Adjusting the stunt vest, he sped up. The whole getup was all clammy and wet. Where his sweat ended, and the damp outside began was anyone’s guess. Plasma lugs were attached to key areas on his midsection so as to best cradle his centre of mass—the multipoint nylon loops allowed for a generous selection of opportune mounting points. Six of the buggers were fastened to him.
Secret testing in the HAS gave him proof of concept, and earlier practise during the pursuit gave him assured confidence as he ran headlong toward a ledge. The ground below was a substantial four-metre drop as he glanced over wood and rope railings.
Reaching just beyond his body, he found the plasma in each lug as they positively glowed in his psyche and then, according to his will, he sent the contents up. The plasma buoyed the cylinders they were in, and they, in turn, pulled on the vest, and the garment housed a person; specifically, an arsehole insane enough to try this in the first place.
The lift was inexorable, and he rapidly became lighter on his feet. A little more and he lost traction on the planks, so he supplemented with a slight forward vector. The edge approached, and he launched with one foot on a beam sending him up and over the edge. Then there was only air below him, damp ozone-filled air, but damn, he was soaring like a dream.
“Holy fuck, fuck, fuck, Kel! You arsehole! You cunt! You bitch ass fucking shitting cunt! How long did you know!” Ril screeched over comms. Obviously, she had him on video now.
Jon winced at the noise. I’m found out.
“Dear gods Master, you fly!” He had only shared his plans with Lee, that sick cunt was trustworthy. Ril was probably racing back to find him, served the capricious bitch right.
Some locals spied him, but he was above the lamplight. Anyone who did likely doubted their senses. At least that was the kind of stares he was getting: blank disbelief, and utter terror.
Jon kept elevation steady and worked with his momentum instead. Twisting and turning were variables under his control in the vest. Unlike a stunt man who had another bastard pulling on his wire for lift, Jon had direct and instant feedback. Plus there were no pesky pulleys or tangled cables to limit his swing: a parachute without the ‘chute’, or the ‘para’. He floated unhindered on infinite wirework. Buddha be praised! The Kung Fu movies made here would be epic!
Pumping in a bit of power raised his height between the second and third levels of Elgelica. That way bridges, railings obstructed less of his weightless drifting. The hulking trunks were perfect push-off points as he darted above the busy street below. Light wall-runs with push-offs around bends were the best way to change momentum.
Jon opened discussion while he floated and dove in the half-light, he was gaining on the target once more. “Kay, has no one ever tried flying?”
“Flying is for birds, Master! You are simply insane.”
He couldn’t argue with that. “You haven’t had your Da Vinci yet have you?”
“Is it another one of your pills? I fail to see the relevance,” replied Kay.
His apprentice needed history lessons, not Romcoms and K-pop. I am to blame, I usually am.
“Your genius inventors and discoverers would have, or should have, managed this.”
“Our world is fractured between the races, Master. Unlike yours, they do not share history and knowledge. Rather it is coveted and secreted away. You are the only genius I know. Surely the only one mad enough to meld magics as you do.”
“Our magnificent little mad scientist!” said Ril, but she didn’t get a vote.
A disbelieving scoff escaped Jon’s lips. I’m a bloody low bar.
Kel didn’t have the kind of punch in Mage Power that Kay did. Finally having a way to test his power physically, let him measure around five hundred Watts; it topped out as he warmed up.
The test he devised was simple; he hooked a plasma lug to weights and saw how high he could lift the load in one second. Like horsepower was tested but without the horse. He could lift himself, but it was slow.
Am I complaining about being able to fucking levitate? My, how the mighty fall—technically ‘float’.
Regardless, stumbling upon the burst of energy Kay used for her jumps was an accident.
“I’m sorry girls I was testing out different Draw methods. Kay used Impulse Draw while I’m using the traditional Mage Power Draw.”
“You are telling us everything when we get back, Kel! Everything, you hear!” said Ril.
“Master, for once, I am in complete agreement with the goddess.” He wondered if pizza or cake would still appease Kay. Ril was a lost cause.
Pseudoflying made following the bowless bow dude a pedestrian affair. Jon found himself slowing so he would not overshoot. As he hovered almost above the man, he retrieved his sidearm.
It was a bulbous thing because it was not a gun per se. Lazily sighting just ahead of the perp’s path Jon squeezed the trigger. A neon blue splat hit the ground in front of the bowman, and he fell backwards in fright.
Next, he announced for the man to hear, “I know what you’re thinking: ‘Birds don’t shit neon blue.’ And ‘I just killed a man twice for the crime of wearing this colour.’”
The elf looked up, seeing Jon casually glide to a stop, standing on nothing.
“Light-Finger says ‘Hi’.”
A completely unhinged trilling scream gradually built and then bellowed from the shitless sod.
Some bystanders had similar reactions but none so visceral.
The bowman desperately scampered away on all-fours.
To sell it as no mere delusion, Jon drifted to the ground and gently touched down.
Bow Dude fled the scene like a cat scared by a cucumber.
The stunt harness had caught a bit under one leg, and Kel idly scratched his ass. Ahhh, that’s the spot.
“Kel, I can see you, you know,” said Ril.
“Yeah? Well, keep watching. Our Ebenezer has officially been visited upon by his ghosts. Four of them if you count Finger. Let’s see who he goes to for repentance, or sanctuary more like. Min get Sepha to put out an APB. Over.” He holstered the paint gun and made for the rendezvous.
“What the damned Gods does ‘over’ mean!” asked Kay.
“It means it’s over. Over.”
“Master!!!!”
Previous|Next
Comments & Calculations Flying. It's the very first thing we'd all attempt, and we would 'always find a way'. Why? Because we live in a world where it is possible. There are some very revealing quotes demonstrating the narrow-minded views of people before such paradigm shifts. Have a look: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Incorrect_predictions
Now, I know what you're thinking: flying is OP. Is it though? Because, according to physics, just counteract gravity and you're done. You wouldn't need much either, remember acceleration and deceleration requires power but stationary or constant velocity objects have no work being done on them (Corollary of Newton's First Law).
However, introducing it as I have, articulates its limitations far more rigorously than simply giving someone a power, spell, or skill. So, let's get into that.
Where and how the lugs are attached, makes sense from a comfort and stability perspective. In terms of power expended it makes no difference. Volume is inconsequential. Not sure if volume efficiencies should be introduced, with limited power and hence mass already playing a part. Bear in mind excess power from the readiness factor is dumped into the environment as heat and causes stain on the nervous system over time. (This is negligible for now)
Jon’s Max and Instant Draw = 580.375W/J
As explained if he just glides he is not changing his gravitational potential energy. No acceleration, no work, no power. He does still burn some energy due to readiness factor (5%). Some minor flight adjustments plus acceleration changes kinetic energy, so he burns a bit here too, along with air friction. He could still lift off from the ground to gain elevation but given his weight of 80kg, it would take just under 2 seconds to rise 1 metre. He knows this which is why he is keeping the same elevation and expending muscle power for most translational energy. He got Kay to test burst power, he is testing levitation. Isolating principles to properly benchmark them. As for Ril, he just lets her play at this point.
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2020.10.28 14:44 PaintedSequoia Mama Karen wanted me to turn off my tv when her family walks by my apt bc her kid is grounded

I just moved in to an apartment last week. So far, everyone I have met in passing has been nice. No one has been too loud at unreasonable hours, arguing with each other, stealing parking spaces, and other typical shared space craziness. Yet, at least. Only been here a week.
I did, however, encounter a Mama Karen and her 6(?) yr old son.
My apartment is one of those half in the ground units with two other floors on top. As such, the top of my patio wall is level to the walking path. If I have my blinds open, you can easily see into my living room and kitchen. This honestly doesn't bother me. The weather is finally really nice here, so after work yesterday I opened my patio sliding door and blinds to let the cooler air in while playing some Minecraft. After a while, I could hear a couple of women talking outside a few units down. Just general chit-chat. I also heard a smaller kid running around, messing with the gravel along the pathways and generally just being a bored kid while mommy talked with her friend. Really no big deal at all. Then it happened. I heard one of the women called for the kid. "Jason. Jason? JASON. Get over here. J A S O N!! (fake name for protection)" I looked up to see the kid standing on the path next to my unit transfixed on the tv. Uh-oh. He didn't answer quick enough... Mama Karen came stomping over to him and jerked his arm to force him to look at her while she yelled in his face about answering her and to not watch tv, especially someone else's. I thought the way she was acting was overkill, but let it be. He's not my kid and I'm not a parent at all (just to my furbabies, 2 cats). I did pay attention for if things got worse to jump in, but didn't stare. I only looked over when she called out to me to apologize for her son (note: not for her behavior). I said it was fine.
Mama Karen took him back over to her friend and they continued talking. Eventually, the kid started playing around near them again. Soon, he was back over at my patio looking in watching me play. Soon after that, I hear Mama Karen yell at him again. This time he flinched (hard, it broke my heart to see the effects of abuse in action) and was just frozen staring at her. This time I jumped up and went to my patio door. She was already at him by them and yelling at him again. I tried to interject to say I truly didn't mind that he was watching me play. This is where the Karen aspect comes in. She turned to me sickly sweet, the demon gone for the moment, and kindly explained that dear Jason was grounded and not allowed to even look at a tv. I said a "bummer, dude" to him in sympathy. She didn't like that I addressed him and not her. I also don;t think she liked that I showed him sympathy instead of instantly taking her side, even though I had no idea why he was punished in the first place (I wouldn't doubt if it was some asinine, non-existent reason on her part, or her being bothered by normal child behaviors). She then asked me something that blew my mind.
"Can you please shut off your tv when we're out here? We are usually out here for some outside time for about an hour a day. Or you can just shut your window and blinds."
Ngl, the People Pleaser I have been raised to be almost said "Oh, sure, no problem!" and was going to do it. Then I stopped myself thinking "Uh... What? Telling me what to do in MY house?". I'm trying to have a shinier spine. I told her no, I won't. Oh boy! That sure as hell is her trigger word! I thought she was going to reach in and jerk me around and yell at me like I was her child! The look was so instantly pissed off. She again explained the situation fully expecting me to cooperate this time. She laid out her case. She made the demand again; not a faux question this time. I again told her no. I came home to relax and this is how I do it. She asked me if I have kids. Uh-oh. I'm solidly child-free, and according to the Laws of Parenting, my thoughts and opinions are completely and instantly invalid unless I pop out at least one(1) entire mostly full term crotch spawn. I told her no and she smirked. "I thought so." I was ready for a lecture on how to handle kids "properly" or something, but she just jerked her son away back towards the other woman, who I assumed was still there. She said something as she went, but I didn't really hear it, so I don't know if it was to me, her son, or her friend. Maybe even grumbling to herself.
I hadn't seen those two before yesterday, but apparently they are out there for at least one hour daily around that time. There's a pool, a few BBQ pits, and a grassy area outside my unit in between the surrounding units/buildings. I get to see all the good doggos walk by and it makes my day! I really hope she doesn't cause issues for me. I just want to live there and not be bothered. I'm not going to help her parent her child. No one else in the whole world should be expected to except her. I just don;t get how she thinks she can ask a total stranger to turn off the tv in THEIR HOME because she's punishing her child in her's. Like...no. It doesn't work that way. I'm proud of myself for standing my ground, as brief as the encounter was. I worry for the kid though...
Update #1:
Thank you to everyone who has replied, upvoted, and given awards! I was just dropping a rant and didn't expect this to get this big!
I have been reading everything. I just couldn't keep up responding to it all. Now I completely get "RIP inbox", lol.
So, a small development. I called CPS. I thought about it a LOT since posting yesterday. I even consulted a few people I know who have been on both sides (reporting and being reported). After telling them the story and hearing their experiences and advice, I decided to go ahead and do it. What really did it for me was that while the kid may have done something to earn the grounding and maybe the mom had a really bad millennia that exploded in that moment, her physically jerking him around, yelling in his face, and especially his reactions pushed me to do it for his benefit.
I did it anonymously and don't know which exact unit she's in. I was kind of surprised that I talked to an actual person. At first, she kind of had the tone of just taking a general complaint. As soon as I explained the kid's reactions, especially being completely non-verbal when being yelled at and shook, she took more intetest. I was warned that this call didn't guarantee an investigation. Also that it could take time to start and even more time to conclude depending on various factors (me not knowing the exact unit number being one of them).
So far, I haven't seen Mama Karen or the kid today to play spy on that part and I'm afraid to ask around in case someone gives her a head's up. If she happens to bother me more, I'll tell the front office. For now, because I just moved in, I don't want to make it seem like I'm going to be that strict, nosey neighbor that reports every little thing, even if a legitimate worry in this case. I will get an outdoor cam in a paycheck or two. I just moved, I'm a broke bitch, lol.
Hopefully, I won't have to update again at all, or that it will be some time and with good news.
Update #2 (final, 11/19):
First off, I want to say a huge thank you to all the advice and awards! I never expected this to get this big!
Second, just to get it out of the way, the kid has been removed to his bio dad's house and is doing well! He is wanted there and loved from what I have been told.
Okay, so last night I heard some people talking just outside my patio on the walkway. Like, a small crowd of people and they hung around talking for a bit. Just past my patio a couple walkways meet. It drew my attention to see what was going on. I had my blinds shut at the time, but the patio door cracked for the cooler air. I sat at that end of the couch and listened a bit. Almost right away I got that they were talking about that Mama Karen and her kid. I waffled a moment, but went out on my patio to listen better and speak up. I asked about the situation and said I had been worried for the boy. Turns out, this is Karen's third child and the other two had also been removed! They let me know this kid was now with his bio dad while the other two had been put in the child care system because their father's either didn't want them or couldn't take them. The crowd was there because they wanted to gossip about the cops and CPS showing up the evening before to get the kid. One of them was her neighbor and said that she didn't beg for her kid not to be taken so much as begged for herself to not be arrested, but was also yelling and screaming at the cops. By the end of it, the kid is out from under her and she was not arrested, but given some sort of ticket or summons(?) concerning the kid's treatment. I told them my experience with her and they agreed it was right to call CPS. After hearing their stories of encounters with her and all three kids and calls to CPS over the last 8 or so years she's lived there, I knew I made the right choice in this case. After being reassured the kid was safe with his bio dad and his wife, I thanked them for the info and went back inside. They talked for about an hour more outside about random catch up stuff between them.
So, that's it. Kid has been rescued! I am so relived for him!
I'd like to address one type of comment I saw pop up several times. Some were ragging on me for calling his flinching a sign of abuse. All I can say is that it was a "you had to see it yourself" moment. I can describe it to death and it won't have the same impact. Those who have been abused or have seen the results know the exact kind of flinch I am talking about. It's not just a "I got caught!" kind of startled. It's more like recoiling from an impending physical blow they know usually follows that kind of words/tone/volume, or like the words themselves are the hit.
Yes, I completely understand that calling CPS, or any authority, can have lasting effects that might look bad on innocent people and create stigma in their community. My friends who have had CPS called on them were at first very upset and angry. Then later they realized it meant someone was looking out for their kid(s). Even if it had been someone trying to stir shit and create a stigma against them or misunderstood a situation (ie; seeing a moment of blow up), if they were good parents then it will quickly be realized. CPS can also provide various resources for struggling parents from counseling to assistance programs. It's not solely about taking kids away. The friends who had CPS called on them were able to realize they were struggling in some ways and got whatever help they needed that way. We only see moments and slices of people's lives at a time. Sometimes it can look horrible. I agree it is important to look for other signs that it is truly a bad situation. I just can't completely turn a blind eye. I'd rather make sure someone is okay.
submitted by PaintedSequoia to entitledparents [link] [comments]


2020.08.28 22:21 VoltGO Dude spy cam

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RubL1-0yXOo

0:00 intro
2:23 t pose
2:35 left t pose
2:49 right t pose
3:49 shorts "adjustment"
4:08 adjusts hair
4:31 looks around, rolls
5:49 buttslap
6:05 combat stance, sideways roll
7:00 "where's my cane?" old man voice, random lines
7:25 "jinny broke this!"
9:01 calls/whistles for robe "robe,where are you robe?"
10:02 "oh I found it" "look that's why you don't give up"
10:39 putting on a robe
11:06 "where'd it go!" "I just ha....oh"
11:49 old man walking "hello traveler how are you?"
12:04 looking around old man, walking forward "hello there traveler, i come to you from a distant land"
13:28 "hello traveler how are you?" with hood
13:44 FRICK!
14:05 old man with hood full speech
14:42 KKona rant with robe on
15:23 sideways (right) casting spells
15:38 second spell
16:06 hands up, slams staff down from the right
16:34 "what am I doing...with my life"
17:20 "i see what you're sayin"
17:43 laughs
17:51 old man speech, fucks up
18:03 old man speech, "the people of the colony..."
18:56 clears throat
19:24 walks up, "stay a while and listen..."
20:21 gets hit as old man (multiple), right facing
21:00 old man hit and dies, left facing
21:34 pace around menacingly
23:43 drinks poison and dies, gets up "I'M ALIVE" strips off robe
24:49 bends over, butt towards camera
25:32 hair flick from below cam
25:40 hair flick below cam "sorry didn't see you there"
25:57 hair flick below cam sorry take 2
26:16 "I'm about to frickin... i'm about to poop in your mailbox"
26:37 "I was gonna resub. You're about to get a poopy resub"
27:20 takes out phone to look at it
27:54 looks around, looks towards camera "HOOOOH!"
27:58 laughs"so stupid. I'm tryin' to make it stupid"
28:07 "was that stupid enough?"
28:12 walks away from cam
28:15 "ready" clap
28:23 looks to camera "what the crap is that?" surprised
28:36 looks at camera "thanks"
28:46 looks to camera "what the crap is this" surprised
29:18 looks at camera "the poops accelerates"
29:41 "these pretzels are making me thirsty"
31:17 "welcome champions to the trial of the crusader" with ashbringer
32:53 "champions look alive..." with ashbringer
33:27 "your skill and cunning will prove to be a powerful weapon..."
34:34 "divine storm" moving from right to left side of screen
35:08 "divine storm" in place
35:15 "oh, I'm dizzy"
35:29 "gimme a second"
37:25 bouncer standing around
37:35 bouncer looking around
37:50 bouncer hands on hips "let's see some id"
38:14 bouncer "whoa hold on there. you think you can come into a place like this? No shot...."
39:12 bouncer walks in from left, lets people in, stops others
40:08 walking forward towards camera (in place)
40:20 strutting towards camera (in place)
40:37 walking to the left (in place)
40:52 strutting to the left (in place)
41:07 walking towards right (in place)
41:26 strutting to the right (in place)
41:49 "I dance everywhere I walk"
42:10 climbing up ladder (facing camera)
42:34 climbing up ladder (away from camera)
43:15 "water break" drinks water "ahhhh"
43:31 "smoke em if you got em boys"
43:36 "hey, no smoking. I have asthsma"
43:58 tilt head, shakes dandruff
44:23 walking away from camera
44:44 strutting away from camera
45:01 running towards camera (in place)
45:15 running towards camera scared (in place)
45:30 running towards camera scared take 2
45:58 running to the left scared (in place)
46:27 running to the right scared (in place)
46:37 "shorts were comin' down that time"
46:50 slow mo run towards the camera
47:04 to camera "I watched a lot of Baywatch. Amazon Prime video."
48:10 fiddles with shorts "these shorts. the cable came out of them. not the cable, but the wire. not the wire, the (whistles)...the string"
48:32 skiing
48:53 naruto run right
49:12 naruto arm warm-up
49:27 naruto run right take 2
49:49 "I'm starting to feel it dude. I'm startin'ta get a little hot and sweaty"
50:01 naruto run left
51:04 crouching on right knee towards camera
51:20 crouching to the left
52:15 squat stare at camera, says "nice"
53:07 comes up from bottom of screen, says "nice"
53:28 "now that's what i'm talking about..." points away from cam
53:48 look away, "mods ban this guy" rant
54:49 "yeah, why don't you take a seat right over there"
54:57 (sigh) "I'm gonna have to ask you to sit down sir"
55:04 "Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to sit down and lower your voice"
55:19 "right this way, sir"
56:14 officer Esfand radio into HQ
56:46 "we got a code red, we need all units"
57:06 listening to story "uh huh. Sure thing, bud. That's a likely story..."
57:40 "mmm now that's food. This is probably the most delicious thing that I've ever seen"
58:22 "mmmm tasty" (multiple takes)
58:34 "I am a monument to all your sins"
58:48 "I do everything all night"
59:35 "hmm" turns towards camera in chair
59:49 "Well well well. Imagine seeing you here" turns to camera in chair
1:00:07 "Never did I think that you would come back and show your face here" turns to camera in chair
1:00:30 docSpin
1:00:51 docSpin
1:01:15 "this will protect me from the storm but you will be consumed"
1:01:57 lifting something heavy, walking to the right
1:02:43 "yo are you guys coming to sawcon" looking to right
1:02:53 "hey are you guys coming to sawcon" towards cam
1:03:06 fishing "hey, look at this guy. Not bad, not bad"
1:03:44 "I'm not doin' that"
1:04:34 "this is not a knife, this is a knife" pulls out ashbringer
1:05:30 cowboy walks to right, pulls out gun
1:06:09 cowboy walks to left, "this town ain't big enough for the two of us"
1:06:38 walks away from camera, jumps and spins around, draws guns
1:06:55 same as above but turns and shoots guns
1:08:06 digging a hole and burying something
1:09:22 walking on moon
1:11:08 walks to left, shot by arrow
1:11:26 walks to left, shot by arrow take 2
1:12:23 attacked by bees
1:13:10 fish flopping on the ground
1:14:11 stealth kill
1:14:45 falling
1:14:56 falling take 2
1:15:04 falling take 3
1:15:19 grabs butt "oh frick. glute cramp. oooh, gotta squeeze it out. frick"
1:15:47 punching and kicking to the right
1:16:04 punching and kicking to the left
1:17:02 thumbs up as falls into lava
1:17:43 "wait, where is my lightsaber? what you guys do with my lightsaber? who took it?"
1:19:13 dark souls movements with lightsaber
1:19:37 "can you see the base?"
1:19:59 looks around, draws sword, does spins, walks towards camera
1:20:41 "hello there" from left
1:20:51 "well hello there" from right
1:21:12 "hello there" from left with lightsaber
1:21:23 "hello there" from right with lightsaber
1:21:48 kamehameha
1:22:37 "i'm not usually into this stuff but this really gets my water boiling"
1:23:56 riding horse
1:24:08 "it's ok. it's not mine, it's Jinny's"
1:24:14 riding horse take 2
1:24:34 "she doesn't need it anymore"
1:25:12 acting like a horse
1:30:36 tier 4 (Jinny) dance
1:30:57 tier 4 dance take 2
1:31:23 tier 4 dance take 3
1:31:45 tier 4 dance take 4
1:32:40 tier 4 dance take 5
1:33:35 tier 4 dance take 6
1:35:43 donoWall
1:36:17 donoWall take 2
1:37:50 mizkif quotes
1:38:10 catch bullet being shot
1:38:30 catch bullet being shot take 2
1:39:16 "I'M STUCK IN A TREE"
1:39:34 walk in a circle
1:40:00 crawling around
1:41:19 squatting (right)
1:41:35 squatting (left)
1:43:00 flying kick
1:43:59 m'lady tips hat
1:44:49 ring around the rosey
1:45:14 TriDance
1:46:11 ameno stuff, "i am among you"
1:47:11 bubble hearth
1:47:43 hammer dance
1:48:43 salsa dancing
1:49:49 snowball fight
1:50:29 complaining to upstairs neighbors
1:50:56 "yo miz" (right)
1:51:01 "yo miz" (to camera)
1:51:58 stuck in dryer
1:53:16 suntanning
1:54:11 "is that a good idea? i feel like this is a bad idea"
1:55:15 capoeira
1:55:43 somersault
1:56:07 capoeira and somersault
1:56:55 "i'm not at the beach! this is a bathtub"
1:57:33 someone slams door in your face
1:58:14 arrested by police
1:58:52 pushback then hammer of wrath
1:59:09 "trash ass spell"
1:59:56 another death animation
2:00:27 stepped in something gross
2:00:52 skateboarding
2:01:46 trump impersonation
2:02:06 trump take 2
2:02:47 trump take 3
2:05:41 jojo poses
2:07:06 catches spell from above
2:07:56 spell from above catches it again
2:09:38 hero landing from the left
2:10:28 hero landing from the left take 2
2:11:04 waking up from bad dream
2:11:27 driving a car, doing the "what is love" head bob
2:12:14 fixing car and changing tire
2:13:29 mime
2:14:26 squadHips
2:14:38 monkey
2:15:30 more monkey, banging chest
2:16:05 spying on someone
2:16:34 creepychamp
2:16:55 mario jump
2:17:17 fall guys running
2:18:43 scuffed motivational speech
2:19:11 motivational speech take 2
2:20:09 (sir, this is a wendy's)"oh my bad. can I get aaaa 6 pc. spicy nuggets?"
2:20:35 "CHARGE!" away from camera
2:20:42 "CHARGE!" toward camera
2:21:18 dancing
2:22:03 rise from the grave
2:22:32 "My name is Esfand. I'm an idiot"
2:23:39 "guys look it's not a sex cult"
2:24:19 billy garage
2:24:58 "hey get out of that jabroni outfit you got on there"
2:25:19 jinny dono thanks
2:26:40 teacher "okay class, show video" looks away from cam
2:27:38 more teacher stuff
2:28:41 holding loved one in arms, crying "WHYYYYYY?"
2:29:11 "hey happy birthday X"
2:30:24 english accent "i must say i do like what i see"
2:31:29 english accent take 2 - 4
2:32:41 aussie accent "crikey that thing is massive"
2:33:22 texas accent talking about a texas accent
2:34:32 jersey accent "i'm walkin here" rant
2:35:12 "you wanna disrespect my cousin joey?" rant
2:25:31 spinning a pizza
submitted by VoltGO to EsfandTV [link] [comments]


2020.08.23 17:38 IdolA23Aug1l Spy dude cam

Hi-de and Se-ek Ga-y Por-n Watch it Here >>>>>>>>>> 🔴►🔴► Play
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https://preview.redd.it/cdb936cigsi51.jpg?width=298&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2440bed43a8d307bbf8bedf2cd2ac51e3b23115a
submitted by IdolA23Aug1l to u/IdolA23Aug1l [link] [comments]


2020.07.07 19:41 youto2 Gayniversary: Six Stripes, Six Years - Part Two

Paisner: This is the real overkill, Mark. Just finish this already, this is pathetic.
Woodbridge: This is a huge win for team Coup, Allen. They could be easily leaving the Hoosier state with the tag team titles and a world title opportunity!
Austin positions himself to drop Smith with the Balandriver… but he can't. He tries again to lift Smith, but nothing happens. On the outside, Raven figures out what's going on: Dan Smith is hanging on for dear life with his legs wrapped around the top rope. They quickly get back on the canvas to try and untangle the situation.
Ivan sees them getting up and tries to stop them, but while the ref moves to where they're standing, Raven gets accidentally kicked in the face by the flailing Smith and falls off the canvas.
Austin hears the noise and turns towards what's happened. With this distraction, Dan sneaks out of the Fireman's Carry, lands on his own two feet, and catches the distracted Balandran with a jumping neckbreaker, spiking him on the canvas.
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Paisner: SMOOTH SAILING! SMOOTH SAILING! Dan Smith won his debut with this move! Head: spiked!
Woodbridge: He's got it!
Dan Smith hooks both legs and Ivan Itchicock makes the count.
1!
2!
3!
Balandran violently kicks out, but it's too late.
DING DING DING
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
Paisner: Oh my Lord!!! I told you, Mark! I told you!
U MAD starts playing while Dan quickly scurries back up, still in disbelief. Raven's still down on the other side of the ring, blood pouring out of one of their nostrils.
Javier: The winner of the match, at a time of 12:56, The Stormin' Mormon, DAAAAN!!! SMITH!!!
Woodbridge: I don't believe it, you were right all along, the guy who debuted last week has won, despite the odds, and he's got a chance at the World Championship!!!
The ref raises Smith's hand, and he immediately exits the ring, jumping over the barriers to celebrate with the crowd. Austin is still stunned and as he slowly reacts to what's happened, he stares in Raven's direction.
Paisner: Van Loupe shouldn’t have gotten involved, and their stable leader pays the price!
Raven crawls to their feet and rolls into the ring to console their leader, but Balandran turns his shoulder to Van Loupe.
Van Loupe: Hey are you alright, bu-
One surprisingly loud dude in the crowd: NOOOOOOO!
Balandran spins around and SMASHES Van Loupe to the mat with a spinning lariat!
Crowd: OHHHHHH!
Woodbridge: OH MY GOD!
Paisner: PRELUDE!
Balandran: I DRAG YOU UP FROM THE DREGS! I GIVE YOU PURPOSE! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?
Van Loupe slowly begins to drag themselves to the ropes, looking confused and scared towards Balandran.
A neat little piano riff plays And Mercenaire and Marshall Wheeler come through the curtain!
Paisner: Here comes the Coup d’Etat!
Mercenaire and Wheeler rush in to a loud but mixed reaction, with some cheering thinking they might be switching sides!
Woodbridge: BUT WHOSE SIDE ARE THEY ON????
Mercenaire and Wheeler slide into the ring simultaneously and take a look at Balandran, before Wheeler crumples Van Loupe with a sickening Punt!
Crowd: OHHHHH!
Woodbridge: Oh so Balandrans side then..
Van Loupe collapses onto their back, before Mercenaire starts to climb up to the top rope.
Paisner: Mercenaire looking to put the exclamation mark on this expulsion from this revolutionary force with an Atterrisage Lunaire!
Mercenaire positions himself, and just before he takes off…
PA: THEY HELD ME DOWN SO LONG
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
Woodbridge: Solidarity forever!
Paisner: It’s Romero! No Love lost between him and Balandran!
Stephen Romero sprints out from the back, Mercenaire sees this and quickly adjusts his trajectory to flip outside the ring, but Romero catches him horizontal to the floor and SLAMS him down with a gutwrench suplex!
Balandran: Get him!
Romero jumps into the ring and Wheeler charges him, but Romero catches him with a spear!
Paisner: Romero coming in like a house of fire!
Wheeler rolls out of the ring, Romero stares down Balandran, and charges! But Balandran ducks a clothesline and rolls out of the ring to regroup with his stable on the outside.
Paisner: Romero sent ‘em packin’!
Romero goes over to check on RVL, who is slowly coming to, as we cut to the back
We cut backstage, where we find Chad Hammocks putting his ear to a wall, eavesdropping on a conversation happening on the other side of an unassuming room backstage.
Hammocks: Pssst! whispers They're here, I just opened the door a little bit!
Cameraman Chuck moves to the doorway, and through the narrow space of the door left slightly ajar, we're able to see the shapes of three men: a thin man talking to a huge one, while a childish pseudoanthropomorphic figure just runs around waiting for them to finish.
Hammocks: still whispering Yup, it's them. It might not be one of Allen's Illuminati meetings, but it's still content.
Chuck focuses the camera some more, and indeed they are: Hugo Ironblood, Cam'ron West and the Independent Champion, Santiago Martínez. Also present in the room: Sam.
Martínez: Here's the thing: I wanted to talk to you guys in private 'cause this needs to stay that way, and the last thing I want is to find Chad and Chuck spying on us just to film one of those corny-ass Impact style segments nobody likes.
Hammocks: still whispering Dammit!
Martínez: Today's a huge day for me and you know it. And I'd be an asshole if I said it's a huge day for us. I know you took a huge L getting snubbed from this show, but trust me: if we stick together and focus on what's ahead of us, a team as talented as you guys are will never miss another major show.
Ironblood: HELL YEAH! That's what I wanted to hear! By next month, everyone will be talking about us! But we still don't have a name, though…
Martínez: We'll come up with one soon, no worries. Choosing our team name is a decision that can't be taken lightly, you know! Cam'ron-chan!
Cam'ron stops running for a while.
Martínez: Stop running for a while. What do you think of this?
Cam'ron: The name thing or the Chuck and Chad spying us thing?
Ironblood: THE NAME!
Cam'ron: I like names, they're great! But if we want to choose the best name, we need the approval of everyone in our team!
Martínez: Hmmm, we could do that. Let's say we come up with a few names, we make a shortlist and all that, and then we vote for the best one!
Ironblood: YES! That's a great idea for next month! Ooohhh man! We're gonna kick some ass!!!
Martínez: Don't even doubt it for a second, Hugo. This month we were just getting started, but for next month, we're gonna get a ton of extra gold! But this month ain't over yet…
Ironblood: I see…
Martínez: And we can't be thinking of all that until we deal with today's match. When I say "We", I'm pretty sure you and Cam'ron already know what I mean…
Ironblood: Indeed we do…
Cam'ron nods in agreement.
Martínez: Lovely. So when you go back to the locker room, I want yo-
Ironblood: Wait, not really.
Martínez: What?
Ironblood: Uhhh, I was just trying to sound cool and mysterious, I don't know what you meant! And Cam'ron probably doesn't know either!
Cam'ron: I know very well! It was about Milkman-sama and Baker-san!
Martínez: No! No, Cam'ron-chan! That was my joke about how The Horde lacked any credibility due to their lack of Mongol hats!
Ironblood: Oh, then what were you talking about?
Martínez: Alright, here's the thing. I don't have a damn clue how things will play out during my match. I don't know anything about Ayane Nobunaga or what's her deal, but I'm pretty sure that if GiGi shows up during my match, she'll be up to no good. So, I need you guys as my eyes and ears out there. Focus on what's happening, don't get distracted, Cam'ron!
Cam'ron is already distracted, watching Sam while he's trying to solve a Rubik's cube.
Cam'ron: Oh, sorry! It’s just that this is so cool!
Ironblood: No problem, WE CAN TAKE CARE OF ALL THAT! But what about Kait, though?
Martínez: What about her? You don't think I can defeat her?
Ironblood: I know you can, but you can't let her get in your head like she did with that promo!
Martínez: She did not get in my head! This is a NO FREE CLOUT zone, Hugo. This isn't a feud about vidya games, OK? I'm not going to waste my time talking about a lousy take on a good looking game with a headass story and a really stupid companion AI that's clearly a 7 and not a 10, OK?
Ironblood: Uhh, OK?
Martínez: And I'm not going to do that in an inferior platform such as Instagram fucking Live! Let her be: let her waste her time there, Hugo, let her stay there with the Hindutvas, the QAnoners, and Lord forbid me for bringing these motherfuckers up: the Apex highlight streamers.
Ironblood: Uhh, I use Instagram Live sometimes...
Martínez: This is not about games, or scores, or observations of the legendary film A Twelvefold of Big Mad Motherfuckers. This is about the WiR Independent Championship, and trust me, tonight, Kaitlyn Casey Jones doesn't stand a chance! Now let's get the hell out of here!
Hammocks: not whispering as much Chuck! Run!
Ironblood: Hey, what was that?
The scene fades to black and we cut to a pan of the crowd, then back down to the ring.
Ring crew finish up their final preparations for this match as we cut to Javier standing in the ring, flanked by Harry Undersach, microphone in hand.
Javier: The following contest is a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH. To win, you must incapacitate your opponent for a 10 count! Your official for this contest is Harry Undersach!
Crowd: HAIRY HARRY! clap clap clapclapclap
Paisner: He is growing a little bit of a beard, but - I don’t know if that’s nice.
Harry rubs his chin, seemingly a little embarrassed, but Javier soldiers on.
Javier: Introducing first, from Woodstock, Ontario, Canada - He weighed in tonight at 232 pounds - JOEY MCCARTY!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Joey’s theme plays as Joey strolls out from backstage, seemingly as calm as can be.
Paisner: Joey seems unusually collected coming into this match, Mark!
Woodbridge: I don’t think he’s taken any of this too seriously to this point, Allen - and I doubt he takes the Milkman very seriously either!
Joey does seem rather lackadaisical as he steps up the steps, wipes off his feet, and reclines in the corner, looking at the ramp as his music fades out. Javier steps forward, ready to continue.
Javier: And his opponent, from Brooklyn, New York - He weighed in tonight at 182 pounds - TONY “THE MILKMAN” STEEEEEEEEEVENS!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
The crowd might expect “Enter Milkman,” but they are sadly disappointed.
Woodbridge: Um, why did Tony change his theme anyway?
Paisner: I - he called me in a panic, saying he couldn’t afford the song.
Woodbridge: But don’t we -
Paisner: Hey, it wasn’t my decision.
They are not, however, disappointed with the milkman himself, who bursts out from behind the curtain in a dapper pair of suspenders, with a pair of milk maids right behind him. They’re carrying a six pack of milk bottles in traditional metal bottles, which Tony grabs one of before stepping into the ring. The milkmaids set the rest of the bottles at ringside, before politely taking their leave.
Woodbridge: Aww, i was hoping they would -
Paisner: I’m sure you were, Mark.
In the ring, though, Tony stares Joey down coldly, before bringing the milk to his lips and chugging it, never breaking eye contact with his opponent. Joey seems entirely nonplussed, rolling his eyes and motioning for Undersach to call for the bell. Tony finishes his chug, and tosses the milk bottle to the outside, where it rolls to a stop on one of the mats. Undersach pats the two wrestlers down quickly, before calling for the bell.
DING DING DING
Paisner: And we’re off - Joey doesn’t at all seem afraid of Tony’s fire, though perhaps he should be.
Woodbridge: I’m not sure this wasn’t all some twisted sort of a game to Joey - pushing the buttons of the rookie. He might not even understand how worked up Tony really is yet!
Stevens starts off hot, charging Joey with a series of surprisingly stiff forearms! Joey staggers back, but comes at Stevens with a head of steam – only to be caught with a rolling solebutt from Stevens! Joey hits the mat hard, but immediately rolls up to a sitting position! Stevens is prepared for this, and fires off a roundhouse kick at Joey’s head, but Joey catches it and levels Stevens with a uppercut right to the dick!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: Stevens starts off hot with some brawling, but Joey’s allowed to fight dirty in this match, and let’s be honest that’s his greatest strength!
Woodbridge: Stevens has shown resilience so far in his WiR career, but he’ll need every bit of it.
Stevens collapses to the mat, holding his crotch, and Joey gets up with a cocky smirk, motioning at Undersach to start his count!
1!
2!
Paisner: There’s no way Joey steals a victory this early, right?
3!
4!
Stevens pulls himself over to the ropes, and Undersach gets to about 6.5 before Stevens gets to his hands and knees using the ropes! He’s obviously still in pain, but that’s good enough for Undersach to stop the count. Joey doesn’t give his opponent a second to breathe, though, instead getting a running start and leaping into Stevens’ back, driving Stevens’ throat into the ropes!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!*
Woodbridge: Ooh, what a disgusting move from Joey – crushing the windpipe of Stevens is going to make it a lot harder for him to stay up in the later stages of this match!
Joey pulls back on the top rope, levering his knee further into the choke, as Stevens desperately attempts to struggle free! Undersach tries to reprimand Joey into breaking the hold, but he’s got no ability to enforce here, so Joey just continues on choking his opponent!
Crowd: LET’S GO TONY! clap clap clapclapclap
Tony grits his teeth in pain, but grabs the middle rope with both hands, pulling his throat away from the bottom rope and giving him just enough room to slide free from Joey’s boot! Joey tries to follow up with a strike, but Tony immediately rolls out of the ring, getting away from his opponent!
Paisner: A nice usage of the ropes there by Tony, managing to get free from that chokehold - now he’s got to catch his breath and find a way to take the fight to Joey!
Woodbridge: Stevens is tough, obviously, but he’s down 40 pounds on Joey and he’s got to find a way to overcome that!
On the outside, Tony falls to one knee, and Joey rolls out to follow him, only to be caught with a rising forearm to the jaw! Tony realizes he’s on the back foot, and lays into Joey with a series of elbows, punctuated with a knee to the gut! Joey doubles over, and Tony pulls him down into a sick DDT onto the mats!
Crowd: OOOOH!
Paisner: What a DDT from Tony!
Undersach immediately starts the count, but Joey’s back to his hands and knees before we reach 4, and up very shortly after it. Tony lets Joey up almost to a standing position, then charges forward, leaping into the air for a knee strike to the skull!
Paisner: And a leaping knee -
Joey’s aware of this one, though, and heaves Tony into the air, before bringing him down spine-first onto the apron with perhaps the sloppiest spinebuster ever seen in professional wrestling history!
Woodbridge: No! God, I sure hope the milkman has strong bones after that one!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!
Joey’s found another target, and right as Tony rolls off the apron to the mats below, Joey presses a knee into Tony’s spine and just starts laying into him with right hands! Punch after punch rain down on the milkman!
Paisner: God, what a series of punches from Joey! This milkman has been a thorn in his side for weeks now, and this looks to be his form of catharsis!
Tony slumps, seemingly unconscious, and Joey lays a few more punches into the back of the head in for good measure, before raising up and raising his arms like he just won a title bout! Undersach starts the count, and the crowd rains down boos on the celebrating McCarty!
Woodbridge: Joey’s celebrating like he’s already won this thing, Allen!
Paisner: I mean, did you see those punches, Mark? We’re at a six count, and Tony hasn’t even moved!
Crowd: FUCK YOU, JOEY!/MILKMAN RULES!
7!
8!
Joey’s back is turned to his opponent, and so he doesn’t see Tony beginning to push himself up at the 8 count!
9!
Tony, with a huge effort, shoves himself to a vertical position at 9.5, and Joey turns around, expecting the 10 count, but instead getting a defiant milkman!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! FUCK HIM UP, MILKMAN, FUCK HIM UP! clap clap
Tony looks to do just that, taking a couple unsteady steps forward and firing off a stiff low kick, but Joey takes it on the shin! Joey fires back with an overhand right, and Tony staggers backward, only for Joey to grab his arm and hammer throw him right into the ringpost!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHH!/BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tony slumps against the ringpost after making full-body contact with it, but doesn’t quite go down! Joey sees an opportunity, though, and takes a couple steps back, before leaping into the air with a superman punch! Midair, though, Joey realizes his mistake as Tony finally falls to the mat, and Joey just eats it on the ringpost!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHH!
Paisner: Joey with a huge mistake there, going for the final blow just a bit too early - or too late, maybe.
Woodbridge: Either way works, Allen - If Joey had immediately gone for the punch, this match might be over - if he had waited he’d be at a huge advantage.
With both men seemingly out of it, Undersach starts another count!
1!
2!
3!
4!
Tony slowly begins to stir, while Joey is clutching his head in pain!
Crowd: LET’S GO TONY! clap clap clapclapcalp
5!
Tony’s up to his hands and knees, and Joey realizes this by the cheers and starts to fight his way up as well. The two get to kneeling at about the same time, and Joey fires off a quick punch to the mouth of Stevens! The milkman is rocked, but doesn’t go down, and fires back with a forearm! Joey’s not staggered at all, but Tony seems to have expected this, and the two push themselves to vertical, and start laying strikes into the other man’s head!
Crowd: YAY! BOO! YAY! BOO! YAYBOOYAYBOOYAYBOO! indecipherable noise
Woodbridge: This is turning into a goddamn street fight!
Paisner: Tony’s showing some spirit here going blow for blow with Joey!
Joey seems shocked for a moment at the sheer fire coming from Tony’s strikes, and eats a vicious forearm strike that sends him staggering back.
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAY!
He puts his hand up, seemingly calling time, but Tony just charges forward with another forearm! Joey rocks backwards, then drops to one knee!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Paisner: I don’t think Joey was expecting this level of intensity from Stevens here today!
Woodbridge: You might underestimate a milkman, but you shouldn’t underestimate a working man trying to protect the people he cares about!
Joey’s not quite finished yet, however, as he gets over his shock and grabs Tony by the tights, pulling him forward and laying into him with hockey enforcer punches!
Crowd: BOOOOOO! BOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tony covers up to mitigate the impact, and Joey takes advantage, hooking Tony up and dropping him with a backbreaker!
Paisner: Joey with a nice backbreaker off the flurry of punches - perhaps the most technical we’ll see him in this match!
Woodbridge: That’s not fair - Joey’s been picking a couple targets and focusing in on them. Sure, he lacks finesse, but he’s definitely got his strategy down.
Tony rolls onto his stomach, clutching his back, and Joey immediately transitions to the legs, crossing them over and rotating into a sharpshooter!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHH!
Woodbridge: See?
Tony howls in pain, reaching out for something to grab, but there’s no way to break this hold! Joey squats, leaning back and bending his opponent nearly in half! Tony claws himself along the mat, looking for some way to break the hold, but it doesn’t seem to be possible!
Paisner: Joey’s just looking to break Stevens’ spine here!
Crowd: LET’S GO TONY! clap clap clapclapclap
Joey’s looking smug as he wrenches in the hold, seemingly looking to inflict serious injury on his opponent, when suddenly Tony’s flailing hand closes on something! He swings it back, connecting with Joey’s head, and Joey collapses to the mat! Tony manages to roll free from the submission hold, but his back is obviously damaged!
1!
Joey is holding his head after the milk bottle shot, but he’s not out, and he starts to pull himself to the apron!
2!
3!
4!
Joey brings himself up to his knees using the apron as a support, and then stands up, looking down at Tony!
5!
6!
7!
8!
Tony still has barely moved, but he’s got the bottle in his hand, and in one fluid motion, he brings it to his lips!
Paisner: I.. There’s no way!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
9!
The delicious, life-giving, bone-healing liquid revitalizes Tony, and he pushes himself up defiantly yet again at 9.5!
Woodbridge: MILKAMANIA RUNNING WILD!
Crowd: MR. SKELTAL! clap clap clapclapclap
Joey’s absolutely stunned at the man in front of him, and is even more stunned when Tony clocks him in the skull with yet another milk bottle shot! Joey hits the mat hard, clutching his head, but Tony isn’t done yet! He pulls himself up onto the apron, grabbing the ropes, and flips backward off the apron with a moonsault to Joey’s prone body!
Paisner: MILKSAULT! TONY WITH THE MILKSAULT!
Woodbridge: And Joey’s feeling every ounce of that milk right now!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Joey’s completely out of it, but so is Tony, clutching his back in absolute agony!
1!
2!
3!
Paisner: This right here could decide the match, Mark - Whoever gets up here could be the winner, and either way they’ll have a huge advantage!
Woodbridge: I’m not sure either of them will have the strength to get up at this point, Allen - Joey just took a couple hard shots with that metal milk bottle, and I’m not sure Tony didn’t seriously injure his back with that moonsault!
6!
7!
Crowd: LET’S GO TONY! clap clap clapclapclap
Despite their cheering, it’s Joey who manages to roll over first, pushing himself up to hands and knees right at the cusp of the 8 count!
8!
Joey’s up to one knee, but Tony isn’t far behind, clutching his back but sitting up! Undersach stops the count upon being satisfied both men are on their way back up.
Paisner: These two are something else, Mark! There’s nothing on the line in this match - these two just hate each other to the point that they won’t give up!
Woodbridge: It’s the purest form of wrestling, Allen - pure spite.
Joey’s got a moment to think, and he uses it wisely, charging into Tony shoulder-first and driving his spine into the apron! Tony hits hard, and howls in pain, clutching his back! Joey shoves Tony into the ring, and rolls in as well, getting to his feet quickly and measuring his opponent! Tony’s slow to get up, and Harry goes to start the count, but Joey waves him off, instead motioning Tony to stand up!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!/LET”S GO TONY! clap clap clapclapclap
Paisner: Joey’s not taking any chances with this one - he’s looking to finish off Tony for good here!
Woodbridge: With all the punishment Tony’s taken so far this match, a good old fashioned Superman punch to the back of the neck would probably finish it off!
Tony slowly gets up to his hands and knees, obviously dazed, then gets up to one knee! Joey starts his sprint, and leaps into the air, cocking his fist back in anticipation!
Paisner: Joey with the Bertuzzi -
Out of nowhere, Tony whips around, hooks Joey up, and shoots him out of the ring with a belly-to-belly!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Paisner: OH MY GOD! WHAT A BELLY TO BELLY FROM TONY STEVENS!
Joey lands hard on the mat, and Tony slumps to the ground, clutching his back and leaning on the ropes to keep himself in a seated position! Undersach starts the count!
Woodbridge: I don’t know if Joey’s alive after that fall - let alone able to answer a 10 count!
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
8!
9!
10!
DING DING DING
Javier: AND YOUR WINNER, AT A TIME OF 18:38.... TONY “THE MILKMAN” STEEEEEEEVENS!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Tony’s cheap theme hits the arena to the relief of the audience, and he slowly pulls himself up, still obviously having spinal issues! He staggers over to Undersach, who raises his hand, before rolling out of the ring to get a celebratory glass of milk!
Paisner: I - I’ll be honest I didn’t think the kid had it in him!
Woodbridge: Joey McCarty came out here, maybe not expecting the fire that Tony Stevens had after Joey’s attacks on his significant other, and he paid the price.
Paisner: ...that said, I don’t like that none of Joey’s revolutionary buddies came out here to help him tonight.
Joey, meanwhile, has barely moved throughout this entire debacle, and continues to barely move while a newly milk-mustachioed Tony Stevens high-fives audience members and celebrates his way to the back. Only a few moments later does McCarty finally stir, clutching his neck and head in absolute agony, and pull himself up before going to the back. The crew cleans up and Javier Babaganoush comes out to announce again.
Babaganoush: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL with a 60-minute time limit! Refereeing is Tai Ni Wong! Introducing first…
Stupid boy think that I need him... - GiGi bursts out from behind the curtain in full-on Menace cosplay over a more modest ring outfit - with Kaitlyn following behind her - breaking out into a high-speed skip as she takes the time to individually greet every one of her fans in the front row. The crowd is divided.
Crowd: YAAAAAY GIGI WE LOVE YOU! / BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: Woodbridge, what - what show is her outfit from?
Woodbridge: Don’t ask questions you don’t want answered, Allen. At least Kait didn’t feel the need to have a matching outfit… this time.
Paisner: Well. Well then. Listen, do you think she’s going to be serious enough this match to take out Stephen Romero? You know what that guy can absorb and live through.
Woodbridge: In her mind Romero has fucked with her bread and butter. I think she’s plenty motivated. And KCJ is… well… if it happens, she’s a damn sight more of a match for the Sactown beast.
Babaganoush: ...from Montreal, Quebec, Canada, weighing in at 120 pounds, accompanied to the ring by Kaitlyn Casey Jones and sponsored tonight by… by… am I reading this right? Fantasticocks Handcrafted Sex Toys… GIGI!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! / BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Babaganoush: And her opponent…
“Animal” strikes up and Stephen Romero marches to the ring brimming with will to fight. Half his face is painted in rainbow flag colors but more than that, his entire massive body is wrapped in a big bi pride flag! It billows behind him like a cape as he grins and stomps his way down and heads up the steps.
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ROMERO! ROMERO! ROMERO!
Paisner: And there is the man of the hour. Romero showing his pride as he steps over the top rope.
Woodbridge: It looks like he has all the confidence in the world tonight, as he aims to show everyone that large black men can also be hot and sexy e-tho--
Paisner: I’m not sure that’s EXACTLY what his message is, but sure!
Babaganoush: - From Sacramento, CA, weighing in at 320 pounds - STEPHEN! ROMERO!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
KCJ hangs back ominously on the outside, Romero stretches, GiGi smirks, and Wong checks them both over, then calls for the bell.
DING DING DING!
The two circle, and the sheer vastness of their nigh-on foot-and-a-half size difference is apparent once they close in with one another. Merely going in for collar-and-elbow would be relatively difficult for both combatants, so they seem to settle on striking right away - GiGi fires vigorous chops to Romero’s midsection while Romero comes down on her equally hard with overhead chops to the top of her head.
Crowd: WOOOOO! WOOOOO! WOOOOO!
Woodbridge: GiGi playing it smart here - the thing about a chop battle is you ain’t gotta be big to win. I once had my ass kicked in a chop battle by Petey “Short Round” Svenson, and he was legally a dwarf.
Paisner: And more so than that, these two both have a lot of frustrations with each other to get out in this moment.
Romero finally hits one that stuns GiGi, but not before he’s been driven back!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Paisner: I’m surprised GiGi can push Romero around to this level!
Woodbridge: I ain’t. She was putting her whole torso into those chops and she’s at the right height to work over his breadbasket. Trying to stand firm would cost Romero a lotta wind.
Romero heaves up the staggered GiGi into a fireman’s carry, looking for Moss-Covered Three-Handled Family Gredenza, but GiGi has already recovered and counters by leaping off his shoulders and landing on her feet and one hand. From this three-point-ish stance she launches herself at Romero’s legs for a takedown, which he brushes aside, but in the process runs backwards briskly into the ropes - and Kait runs towards the edge of the ring at the same time that GiGi leaps up and charges for the ropes - GiGi hits a springboard hurricanrana at the same time that Kait yanks on Romero’s ankles! The force makes him faceplant at a high angle!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Woodbridge: Hell of a flying rana, one of those rebounding jawns, but it looks like KCJ did something there…?
Paisner: Hard to see from where we’re sitting, but it looks like Wong didn’t notice - after all, GiGi DID take Romero down… she just had outside help.
GiGi makes an effort to roll Romero onto his back, but that proves hardly possible, especially since he’s still got enough energy to resist - she settles for sitting between his shoulders and attempting to bend his arm back. She pulls on the half-barred arm, clinging like a limpet as Romero gets his feet underneath him and tries to shake her off…
Paisner: GiGi adapting on the fly trying ASMR from this position, but Romero won’t be having that…
She scrambles into crucifix position on the standing Romero, stretching both his arms out - Romero leaps backwards and to the mat!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Paisner: COUNTERING SAMOAN DROP! He’s getting the cover!
Romero turns GiGi over into a leghook press…
1!
NO!
Crowd: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW…
Paisner: Oh, and only a one-count?
Woodbridge: GiGi with no patience at all.
She kicks out and furiously tries to get a grip on Romero’s same arm once again - Romero stands and pulls his wrist out of her grasp, turns, steps behind GiGi, and puts her arm in a hammerlock! He lifts her right up as she struggles but she’s able to kick backwards into his stomach, forcing him to put her down, and following up with a knee to the gut, making him double over. She jumps onto Romero’s back and works for a hammerlock of her own from a different position, putting on a reverse headscissors for leverage!
Crowd: OHHHHHHH! / BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! / PLEASE DON’T TAP! PLEASE DON’T TAP!
Paisner: Well that’s new.
Woodbridge: Sort of an… inverted… spider… hammerlock?
Paisner: In any case, GiGi’s going to be difficult for Romero to dislodge, especially with his arm in such an awkward position.
Romero, stumbling and grimacing, tries to use his free arm to peel GiGi’s calves from around his neck, but they’re posted too well; shortly afterwards, though, he reels to the ropes and grabs on to force a break, even as GiGi’s bodyweight causes tremendous pain to his other arm.
Crowd: ROMERO! ROMERO! ROMERO!
1!
2!
3!
4!
GiGi slithers off Romero’s back…
Paisner: Romero needing to walk to the ropes and get out of the hold that way, but that was smart of him - Wong is always attentive and quick with his rope break counts.
Woodbridge: Problem with that stretch for GiGi is that it don’t immobilize your opponent except with forcin’ them to carry you. For Romero, carryin’ anyone ain’t gonna be a problem.
Romero rubs his sore arm and winces and leans down against the ropes for another moment to recuperate as GiGi makes a pouty thinking face and loudly asks Wong what exactly the rules for rope breaks are again… Wong, exasperated, turns around and spreads all five fingers and taps the palm of his hand - which is enough time for Kait to spring into action, jumping up on the apron and using gravity and momentum to hit a wheeling inside-out armdrag to Romero, who sails to the floor for an awkward landing! Kait lays into him with chops, but Romero, not even wanting to fight her, gives her a shove back and turns back for the ring - she knees him right in the spine!
Woodbridge: OH JESUS Kait with the stealth!
Paisner: She shouldn’t be laying a hand on him at all - but damn, you see how she used the top rope like a lever to yank him out?
Woodbridge: That’s a 200 IQ play, Big Al.
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHH! / BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Seeing Kait and Romero fighting on the floor, but unable to tell who started the incident, Wong simply begins a countout on Romero…
1…
2…
3…
Romero cries out in pain and surprise from the knee strike and turns around to try to pick Kait up, only to be answered with an uppercut to the jaw - he shakes off the pain to blow Kait away with a hellacious discus clothesline!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Woodbridge: MEAT SPIN!
Paisner: Romero striking true! Felling Kait! But he’s gotta get back in that ring!
4…
5…
6…
Obviously dazed, Kait immediately forces herself to sit up regardless and tries mightily to get to her feet; Romero grabs her legs and lifts her by the hips as he makes one revolution, tossing her backwards with a modified giant swing!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Woodbridge: OH SHIT! Romero just used that swing as a hammer throw, Kait went sailin’!
Paisner: He’ll be hoping she won’t bother him again, but almost half his time has expired and he’s gotta beat the count while GiGi sits pretty…
7…
8…
9…
As Romero turns, relieved, and moves to reenter the ring, GiGi has hit the ropes - she charges for the outside! TOPE SUICIDA! It’s massively forceful coming from someone GiGi’s size - Romero’s knocked on his ass straight down like he was being pulled to earth by a magnet, and she even manages to slightly overshoot on speed, her momentum sending her right past Romero and crashing her arm-first into the barricade!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Woodbridge and Paisner: HOLY SHIT!
GiGi scrambles up, clutching her arm, and runs back for the ring while Romero rolls around in pain - Wong has reset his count, but Romero is in even WORSE shape than before!
Paisner: You think she’ll take a countout?
Woodbridge: Hell yes she would. GiGi knows her fanbase only cares about one thing in this match… her getting the dub. Don’t matter how.
GiGi takes her sweet time catching her breath in the ring again as Romero takes a deep inhale and crawls for the ring, pulling himself up on the apron and trying to roll in - GiGi is ready with a slingshot double foot stomp to Romero’s chest! She skins-the-cat back in as Kait, unseen by Wong, scampers back towards the ring again and hits Romero with one sneaky running bionic elbow to the skull before retreating to the shadows again like a wounded animal…
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Woodbridge: I have to at least say that rope-assist stomp was graceful...
Paisner: But brutal, and unsporting. And it looks like Romero wasn’t as finished with KCJ tonight as he thought.
Working through the pain, Romero finally rolls back into the ring and starts to get up, but is met with a high kick from GiGi! She follows up with a leap, a roll, and a heel kick!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Woodbridge: VINE!
Paisner: GiGi’s flying spinning heel kick taking Romero down, and she goes for the cover…
GiGi lays on Romero’s chest, crosses his legs in lieu of hooking them, and pulls out her phone to take a selfie, prompting an “I LOVE YOU GIGI!” from the crowd that’s drowned out by boos.
1!
2!
submitted by youto2 to wrestlingisreddit [link] [comments]


2020.07.03 21:48 Holesome_chungus Dude spy cam

Updated list of all known banned subreddits sorted by reason and alphabetically part 2 (unmoderated and ban evasion). Current as of July 3, 2020 5:32 PM EDT
This is a second thread containing subs banned for ban evasion or for being unmoderated, as Reddit limits you to 40000 characters per post.
 
Unmoderated:

 
Ban or quarantine evasion:
 
* Ban time and reason changed during the purge of subs containing the word 'nigga' or 'nigger'
submitted by Holesome_chungus to reclassified [link] [comments]


2020.06.15 04:05 ThatDnder Cam spy dude

Sorry for the late edit!

  1. I mean, what else would BBEGs be doing in their dank, dark cave. They must have thought of their speech at some point
  2. I've killed you all before in so many lives/ dimensions! Why can't you just stay dead?
  3. Who the fuck are you?
  4. "You've spent all this time making your way in this world, only to end up here, with me. Disappointing."
  5. Unfortunately, you shall not live in my perfect world
  6. You really thought I would give a speech? (Attacks)
  7. It's over! I have the high ground!
  8. You are in my way.
  9. Pardon me, I must take out the trash.
  10. Rub-a-dub Dub. Thanks for the grub. Yay Grumsh.
  11. TREMBLE BEFORE MY COSMIC POWER! EVEN THE GODS WILL FEEL MY WRATH. YOU WILL TOO!
  12. You think you're the only one who matters. You think you can put off death. But that peace made you foolish and thoughtless. If you kill someone, someone else will kill you... this hatred binds us together. (We are but men, drawn to act in the name of revenge that we deem to be justice. But... if there is justice in revenge then that same justice will breed only more revenge... and trigger a cycle of hatred. (Thus, I think love is the reason why there is pain. When we lose someone precious to us, hate is born. Vengeance is the product of that hate and so death follows. But in death, there is only more death. This will give rise to more pains. In this cursed world we live in, it is a cycle of hatred that will not cease. You and I seek the same thing. Let me ask you this: How will you confront this hatred in order to create peace? ( u/BernardoCamPt)
  13. Oh, I see you've survived til now, that's the best someones done so far. Let it give you comfort in your graves. ( u/falcoreFTW)
  14. Look at them, they come to this place when they know they are not pure. ____ use the keys, but they are mere trespassers. Only I, ____, know the true power of the ____. I was cut in half, destroyed, but through its ____, the ____ called to me. It brought me here and here I was reborn. We cannot blame these creatures, they are being led by a false prophet, an impostor who knows not the secrets of the ____. Behold the ____, come to scavenge, and desecrate this sacred realm. My brothers, did I not tell of this day? Did I not prophesize this moment? Now, I will stop them. Now I am changed, reborn through the energy of the ____. Forever bound to the ____. Let it be known, if the ____ want true salvation, they will lay down their arms, and wait for the baptism of my ____. It is time. I will teach these trespassers the redemptive power of my ____. They will learn it's a simple truth. The ____ are lost, and they will resist. But I, ____, will cleanse this place of their impurity. ( u/adaenis)
  15. Your misguided self-righteousness has led you here, to my feet. Your delusions of grandeur that you have even the smallest, infinitesimal chance of standing to my power, your death sentence. I am invulnerable, untouchable. The armor that dons my body a testament to my story, a monument to my sins, and my accomplishments. Those that watch over the worlds, the gods as they are called, are naught but clever con men and women, thinking and plotting on how best to increase their own status as they fight to climb up their petty social ladder. All while their people suffer. Disease, hunger, hatred, war, the suffering of all of this fill the air of this world like an orchestra of pain. You only need to listen close enough. You only need to listen once to hear it and when you do you will then know. Those that you pray too, are nothing more than liars. I have seen the truth, I have seen it firsthand. The woman I love was taken from me. She died in my arms, terrified and shaking. I could not bring her back. Not in all my power, the power I had used time and time again, could I bring her back. I learned that day, the gods are pretenders. All of them, their words false, their platitudes empty! Yet here you are, mortals of numbered years and days, lecturing me on what is right and wrong! What do you understand about pain, about suffering?! What do you know about watching all you love in the world slip through your fingers, even as a servant of a being who was supposed to watch over you? What do you know about rage and how it consumes you, a writhing ball of energy to destroy all you see? You do not know, no matter how much you believe you do. Yet you stand here, telling me the same words that those who were there when she was buried told me. The same words that gods who begged for their lives at the end of my blade told me. They cared not for me, nor for any of my people. And they do not care for you in this world either. It is a reflection, and the mirror is not broken. I see the same pain I saw in my world. The difference between our worlds is that I punished the wrongdoers. I did not accept my fate, I would not let a happy life slip away from me through my hands without at least fighting for it. If it would be taken from me, I would punish all those who stole it from me. It was all of them. They were all guilty, all liars and cheats, smug in their castles and realms. Until I broke down their doors, shattered their perfect homes, and broke their bodies upon my rage. They could not stop me, and eventually, all fell, all of them. I ended their corrupt rule, their lack of care. The gods are not immune from judgment, from punishment. I was their punishment; I was their reckoning. I was their Harbinger. And now, I have arrived here, at your world once again, to finish the job, my destined role as their Harbinger calling to me. You, heroes of Xeciress, stand in my path. You have made it this far, through my unstoppable army, through my loyal servants. I will offer you once, a chance to join me, or step aside. Refuse either of those, and I will kill you. I am owed a debt. All of the heavens owe it to me. It is not an easy debt to be paid, but one I will have. If you are the first to help pay it then so be it. I will have my justice; I will have my vengeance. All of the heavens owe me a debt, a debt paid in blood. And creation will bleed. ( u/cyberattaq123)
  16. "It was cruel of them to send you against me, they knew you never had a chance. You are the sacrificial lamb. You can choose to have my hospitality or my hostility, but your interference must not continue... Too much is at stake." ( u/Morvick)
  17. "Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth plagueis the wise?" ( u/gamerbobey)
  18. "Why the hell should I care what you think? You'll die eventually anyway! Meanwhile, I'm fucking immortal! Ha ha, HA HA HA HA HA (maniacal laughter, in case it isn't clear)! What joy I feel... Now then, time to die, everyone!" And, for after they kill BBEG: "What?! No... No... No, no, no, no, NO, NO NO NO! How?! How the fuck did you beat me? I... I am invincible... You'll pay... YOU'LL ALL PAY! FUCKING... (Magic charge up) DIE! DIE DIE DIE! WANT! YOU! TO! DIE! WANT! YOU! DIE! DON'T... WANT... DIE... Don't want to die... Die... I'm dying... Damn..." ( u/Gemini720)
  19. DM Speaking(None. The Big Bad Thing is immediately triggered. Roll an appropriate saving throw.) ( u/dontnormally)
  20. "Please, you must let me finish, there are things about this that you don't understand, I'm trying to save us all." ( u/DavianExpressed)
  21. "I don't know why you seem determined to stop me, and I don't care. You aren't my sworn enemies, nor my greatest foes. You're just... pests." ( u/amazingem)
  22. "I've let you have your fun playing hero, but now it's time to get out of my way." ( u/amazingem)
  23. "Oh my goodness! It's you! Shh shh shh! Oh please be quiet, she'll be back very soon. Hide before she sees you, she doesn't like you, I'm sorry. I so so sorry. I tried. Please believe me, but you need to hide. She doesn't go over there, and those barrels haven't been touched in ... months. Please hide, you'll see, please. She'll be back ever so soon. If she catches you here, it will be bad, really very bad for both of us, please! I won't tell. Please hide. Behind those tapestries, or the banners. She can smell you, she hears everything, but maybe she won't see you. I'll tell her it's ... me, what she's smelling, what she's hearing. I'll tell her it's me and I smell so nice and clean by accident, I fell in the pond where the lavender grows. I told her... I -will- tell her those are my sounds, my stomach. my stomach is soo hungry, it's always noisy, I never get to eat anything, please hide. Please. She is so very, very strong, and has done such horrible, ugly things. Please don't let her find you! I will close my eyes and count up to all the numbers I know, please hide! Please!! 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... uh ...4 ... mmmm...(room is heavily trapped and bbeg is split personality) ( u/GoldenGlobe)
  24. Worms and flowers, worms and flowers. The heroes come, and the ladies shower. Welcome to my little soup bowl, you pretty petals. You've pushed aside so much dirt to get here, but here is the same as there. Did you bother to look behind you when you entered? Lots of little flowers blooming and pushing and dying to get a little sun. So much dying. Worms doing the best they can to eat all your detritus, your worthless detritus. Detritus detritus, what does it even mean? It's all trash, it's all trash and you are just the wilting petals refusing to give up your sunshine, and letting the worms eat your saggy flesh. My what a wonderful bunch of colors you all are. You all taste the same in the dark, don't you know? Is the sun impressed by your colors? Is that what fills your hearts and pockets, what the sun wants? I have a little pocket, a little pocket haha, where I'll put your bodies. You'll get slimy and fall apart before I get to eat you, so many flowers come here to die, detritus, detritus, but no jumping to the front of the line you sickly sweet little stalks. I will eat your ears first, just a little pruning, but I will wait for you to get nice and soft before I burrow into your flesh and wear your little pieces of skin and bone. Sway in the breeze one last time little stalks, your roots are losing their grips.... losing their grips on the soil. Show me how you move, little flowers, and then one by one into my soup bowl. ( u/GoldenGlobe)
  25. How pathetic, you think you can take me tsk tsk tsk well then which of you shall die first ( u/Slow_Anteater)
  26. (Applauds loudly) good job getting here i was hoping you would join the party( u/Slow_Anteater)
  27. I have waited long enough for you to reach me now it is time to see which one of us is better( u/Slow_Anteater)
  28. It's a beautiful day outside...birds are singing. Flowers are blooming. On days like these kids like you....SHOULD BE BURNING IN HELL. ( u/NocturnalOutcast)
  29. It is time for the world to go down in flames, and a new world to be born from the ashes ( u/Exvareon)One
  30. "Oops... sorry, you got the wrong BBEG. The one you're looking for is down this hall, 2nd door to your left. Watch out for the mimic" ( u/Fanta_the_soda)
  31. "The natural order of things is death and rebirth. It is your time to die and the birth of a better world will replace us all." ( u/lichador)
  32. "Nature is not harmony - it is a violent, bloody struggle and only the strong survive. Let us compare our strengths and let it end in bloody violence." ( u/lichador)
  33. "FALL. You are alone, child. There is only darkness for you, and only death for your people. These ancients are just the beginning. I will command a great and terrible army. And we will sail to a billion worlds. We will sail until every light has been extinguished. You are strong, child. But I am beyond strength. I am the end. And I have come for you, Finn." ( u/Whatapunk)
  34. ("Your (deceased significant other, or something) wouldn't've wanted this!") "Actually, she was the one who wanted this. I'm indifferent." ( u/Xx_TheNoobSlayer_xX)
  35. What? You all really think that there's a tragic backstory in here? Maybe I was an orphan, maybe I suffered violence in my childhood? MUAHAHAHAHAH. I was born and raised in a good family, with loving parents, surrounded by friends and happinnes. Never lacked food in my table, or a roof over my head. There's no master plan, there's no reason why.Put simply, I like to kill. That's all. It gives me pleasure. It's better than any food or drink I have ever had in my entire life. Yes, I killed those peasants. Yes, I plan to do it again. And yes, I will do the same to you all. And it will be a pleasure ( u/Melquiades1993)
  36. I don't know what has brought you hear but you're interrupting one of our last rehearsals before the big show, you don't have to leave but please keep back and stay quiet. ( u/Micaramel)
  37. What I do now will save many more lives in the future. Interrupt me and it is you who will go down in history as the villains. ( u/Micaramel)
  38. All that I have done I have done in the name of love. Who are you to say I'm wrong? ( u/Micaramel)
  39. I won't say all of them deserved what they got but most of them. I did the world a favour and I'm not finished yet. ( u/Micaramel)
  40. The apocalypse cannot be stopped but those who submit can make a place for themselves in the new order. Lay down your weapons and kneel.( u/Micaramel)
  41. On a perfect world, men/women like me would not exist. But this is not a perfect world. ( u/Globaros)
  42. My name is BBEG. I'm ____ years old. My house is in the northeast section of (Insert City), where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the (Innocent Store Name), and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone. ( u/SpyroAndToothless)
  43. You dare approach me? (after an answer by the PCs) Then come as close as you like. (there's a trap on the floor but the PCs didn't roll for perception bcs of the evil guy, after they step on it) -Hah... You've activate my trap Card!!! Prepare to DIE!!!!! After he gets hit for the first time... Huh you're surprised son aren't ya? You cannot harm me son... Magic son... Magic... ( u/DaHost1)
  44. (When the BBEG is actually a good guy and explains to the party all they did were evil actions AND if the party tries to deny the fact or provoke a fight with the BBEG) Only a villain deals in absolutes (unsheathes his weapon) I will do what I must... ( u/SpyroAndToothless)
  45. Okay... I guess We are doing this... I really hoped to meet you in another circumstances... Maybe that way you would have understood... You know... I you're actually the good guys... Could you please care to sit down with me and talk things?.. Please let me explain myself... We have cookies... If he's heard a brief and exaggerated explanation of how is his masters fault and how they're working secretly to take him down... (They're lies actually but the villain is scared of risking his life on direct confrontation so he may go tbe long way and make up a master to not have to fight the heroes). ( u/DaHost1)
  46. “I would plea for you to stand down, but it is clear that you are beyond convincing. What I am about to do brings no joy to me. But it must be done nonetheless. This...” (draws sword) “this is the price we have to pay for peace.” ( u/K3vinsFamousChili)
  47. It's really nothing personal, it's just business. Although I think it's important to enjoy your work, don't you? The funny thing about pain is it's not effective at retrieving information. Once you hurt people enough that they will tell you what you want to know, they will tell you anything you want to hear, and so the information is unreliable at best... Still, what it certainly is good for is breaking a person down so they absolutely know that you have power over them, justified or otherwise. There is no greater power to hold over a person than to have them beg you for death, and for you to say no. And trust me, in a few short moments you will be begging me to end you. Just know at this point, that this is where this is heading. You can talk, you can confess every sin you've ever committed in your miserable little life, but it will do nothing to prevent the inevitable. Bards? Play something... Whimsical. This is going to be an extremely pleasant few days... ( u/On3ph)
  48. The legends said they would send the mightiest of heros to defeat me. I see I'll still have to wait for that day to come. ( u/killerishappy)
  49. You know, I really ought to thank you. I'd totally overlooked the fatal flaw in my ______ scheme, but you lot spotted it straightaway. And I would still be relying on _________ [slain lieutenant] if you hadn't shown me what a fool they were. Seriously, our entire organization is much improved thanks to your excellent quality control. I'd offer all of you jobs if I thougt there was any chance you'd accept. Ah well, all good things must come to an end eventually. ... Very well, SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND !!! [summons tarrasque] ( u/Kronk458)
  50. Do you not understand? Do you not think? Why do you stand in the way of me helping? Oh, children. I do not wish to hurt you. But you will understand someday, nothing great can be wrought without suffering. If you will not cease this, then forgive me, I must end you. I will make it quick. ( u/Gosset)
  51. This time no meddling kids and a pesky dog will ruin my plan! ( u/The_Dude_47)
  52. "This will be a battle for the ageSHHHHHHHHHH--I'm sorry, I couldn't finish that sentence with a straight face." ( u/BrenGamer)
  53. I shall mourn for you, to commit suicide by challenging me, so tragic ( u/monster-devil)
  54. Darth Vader's "I only sense fear, and dead men" speech. (That's about the extent of it) ( u/Doc_Ghost)
  55. "I'm sorry. So sorry. The gods should be here to answer for their crimes. Not sending poor boys and girls such as yourselves to do their dirty work." ( u/Doc_Ghost)
  56. You really think that the likes of you can defeat me? That the lives and hopes of the people of this world truly rest with you? Come then! Bring your forces to bear! Show me what you can do, because I guarantee you this. No one out there will care if you succeed, because it will never effect them. You will die in time, and the victory you achieve here will be short lived.But when I finish with you, I'll nail your corpses to my palace walls, your faces will be woven into my banners. Statues of you will be raised in every miserable mudhole from here to the distant seas! All will know that you tested yourselves against me and were bested. That you were this world's last hope. Succeed and no will remember your names, but fail and I promise you that no one will ever forget! ( u/Azgrimm)
  57. In a perfect world, men like me would not exist...but this is not a perfect world. ( u/Dire_Panda)
  58. "You battled through my outer defenses, and for that you deserve my applause, but if you believed my true power would be revealed to you out in the empty and meaningless corridors, then know your folly!" - I think this is from a Salvatore book. I've used it and players hate being told what they did was meaningless. ( u/_The_Librarian)
  59. Give 'em the ol' Bison line (modified ofc) "Ah, you're here because of . I don't remember it if I'm being honest. You see, the day my forces cleansed your little hamlet was the most important day of your life. For me? It was Tuesday." ( u/findinggreedo)
  60. Well well well, thats new. Nobody ever survived all of my minions. Congratulations! You are the first ones to die here! ( u/LoveCthulhu)
  61. Do you think you have a chance against me, dog? In my own realm? ( u/LoveCthulhu)
  62. Don't you think its odd that you, a bunch of insignificant worms, wound up here before me? What intentions you had before, fulfilling ones personal dream or chasing ones future.... Its all gone now in this very moment. You choose to throw your own life away to make a point. And for what? Gold? Fame? The gratitude of people who wont remember you in a hundred years even though you are sacrificing everything? I sincerely hope all of you made up your mind and resolve, because i shall show you how foolish one can be to stand in the way of MY DREAM! ( u/Masonthemasonmason)
  63. ‘Beg, that I succeed. For I have seen the throne of the gods... And it was empty.’ ( u/TheMightyFishBus)
  64. I was your brother, your blood, your friend. Who betrayed who? When are you going to stop being a goddamn slave and grow up? That's your birthright, that's your family. I'm your family, I'm the only family you ever had. Now choose! Now, I hereby judge you! To the charge of betraying your flesh. Guilty! To the charge of being human when we could have been GODS! Guilty! The sentence is death. ( u/Turin082_)
  65. "No one expects the spanish inquisition!" ( u/birdsinthecar)
  66. "Fools.... All of you. Fools." ( u/birdsinthecar)
  67. "The God's have lied, can't you see?" ( u/birdsinthecar)
  68. "The ground trembles before! Fuck you!" ( u/birdsinthecar)
  69. "What did you expect, a monologue?" ( u/birdsinthecar)
  70. “Come now. Join me...in oblivion’s embrace.” ( u/TheAncientSorrow)
  71. The threads of fate that lead you here shall be stained red with your blood! ( u/MildlyConcernedGhost)
  72. You and I aren't so different after all; join me and we can change the world. ( u/Aturom)
  73. It’s a shame; perhaps in some other time or world we could have been allies. ( u/MightyMrFish)
  74. Hello heroes, I have been watching you for some time. Come, face me now, and meet your end. ( u/roach221b)
  75. Scream. Make sure everyone can hear you. ( u/DemonWTF)
  76. Your life won't flash before your eyes. It just ends. ( u/DemonWTF)
  77. Go on. It's okay to be afraid u/DemonWTF)
  78. I've seen the other side. There's nothing. You're nothing. u/DemonWTF
  79. I find no pleasure in taking a life that doesn't appreciate it. u/DemonWTF
  80. Hoping to meet your maker? They don't exist. u/DemonWTF
  81. Face death with dignity. Or don't. u/DemonWTF
  82. Do you know how many millions of times I've done this? u/DemonWTF
  83. Beg for your life. It's good for both of us. u/DemonWTF
  84. You already know: I'm gonna kill you today. u/DemonWTF
  85. I'm not gonna make it quick. That would spoil all the fun. u/DemonWTF
  86. First is looting, but then comes my favorite part: the screaming u/DemonWTF
  87. [sniffs] That's the sweet aroma of fear. u/DemonWTF
  88. Last group of heroes I slaughtered looked hopeful too u/DemonWTF
  89. You all think you'll make it out of this one alive... (laughs) u/DemonWTF
  90. Being human is overrated u/DemonWTF
  91. Shhhh it's all just a bad dream it will be over soon. u/DemonWTF
  92. “So, who gets to go first? How about... me.” (Attacks) ( u/ccstewy)
  93. “You think I have been playing god? All this time, I’ve been playing human.” ( u/cocoabuttersamurai)
  94. “You’ll one day realize I only wanted what was best.” ( u/cocoabuttersamurai)
  95. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. ( u/drwicksy)
  96. "I see that you stand opposed to me, your fortunes and talents made so by your desire and passions for power, wealth, and a glorious death. As of now, I can only offer you one of these; it is still your choice of which to take." ( u/Silverformula20)
  97. Fellow clansman. In the past months while the king has foolishly entrusted me into his circle you have waited patiently for my call to rise up against the Hylians. Now, I say. Now is the time. We will make our attack on Hyrule Castle and then we will take all of Hyrule! ( u/Moon_Dew)
  98. If you withdraw now, I will offer divine forgiveness even though you drew your blades against me ( u/PauliExcluded)
  99. I will show you the benevolence of a god ( u/PauliExcluded)
  100. You think of yourselves as new heroes of this land? Gaze upon the true hero ( u/PauliExcluded)

submitted by ThatDnder to d100 [link] [comments]


2020.05.03 18:00 randallfcooper Dude cam spy

A knock broke my concentration from the light that hypnotized me outside my window.
"Hello? Who is it?" I approached the door with my hands floating at my sides like I was a spy trying to mute my steps.
"It's me, Cameron," a familiar female voice said, muffled by the door. "It's your sister."
My heart sank, my head spun, and my limbs quaked. Gripping the knob I ripped the door open, my eyes ready to downpour with tears, but my adrenaline spiraled just after spiking.
"What? Don't look so disappointed to see me," she pushed past my paper thin frame of a body, slid to my fridge, and yanked out a flavored seltzer water. Something was in her hands which she placed on the counter, it was a disk of aluminum foil, kind of looked like a miniature UFO.
"Y'know that really wasn't funny, Kayla," I muttered, the color of my face was restoring brick by brick.
"Ah, sorry about that, you know me and my dark sense of humor, what else did you expect?" she cracked open the can and slugged a few gulps.
"I shouldn't be surprised after the JFK memes you sent me last night," I sighed. "Just thought this sister thing was a little too far."
She studied my face for a moment, and her smirk faded. "Well, I'm really sorry, truly I am."
"It's okay..." I shook my head. "So what's up?"
"Um really? Well, it's Friday night, our Saturday class is done, it's like the warmest evening this April, I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink somewhere?"
"Uh, I don't know. I was in the middle of something."
The edge of Kayla's mouth curled upward. "Don't you know what today is?"
"April 17th?"
"Yeah, it's your birthday, you wacko. I wanted to give you a surprise instead of texting you. Happy birthday, dude. I made some cupcakes for you," Kayla unraveled the aluminum covering to reveal peanut butter frosting on a chocolate cupcake.
"Wait! Kayla!" I shrieked as I rushed up to the counter and marveled at the cupcakes. "This was my sister's favorite, did you know that? How did you know that these were her favorite?"
"I didn't, Cameron. Relax dude. Don't you remember the conversation we had a few months ago where you said that you were craving for some because you hadn't had them in a while? I thought I would just be nice and make you some even though I know your favorite is vanilla frosting with chocolate cake."
"These were my sister's favorite," my voice trailed off and I snatched up a cupcake and chomped it down with a few bites. "Thank you, these are amazing."
I roped Kayla in for a hug and gave her a firm squeeze which she returned, then we released.
"No one has told me happy birthday today," I could start to feel a flow of tears massage their way through my sinuses. "I actually forgot."
"It's alright Cameron. Your parents didn't even say happy birthday?"
"No. They've been very frustrated with me the past few years about my claims of my sister who existed. I know for a fact she used to be alive but something happened to her. I just know it!"
Kayla's lips sank like an anchor. "I'm sorry, Cam, but let's go get a drink. You should take this off your mind."
"Wait, you'll probably think I'm crazy, but you already do anyways and yet we hang out, but I want you to see this light outside," I ushered her over to the window outside my bedroom which was on the top floor of the apartment complex. "What do you think that-- Oh my gosh."
"Cameron, what's that light up in the sky? It looks really close."
"It moved! Wait, it's moving! It's getting even closer!" goosebumps erupted over every patch of skin on my body, a shiver tremored through my spine.
The room was painted with saturated colored light that flipped from red to yellow to green to purple in rapid succession. A siren that sounded like a fast-forwarded whale call edited on high pitch punctured our ears and Kayla and I both collapsed to the ground. Up at the ceiling the lights grew even brighter and--

Part 2
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