2020.11.23 15:10 wanderingbilby Neighbour voyeur sex
Noticed this while looking for other spammers. Dozens of posts to random subreddits, all with different accounts.
Example Image (SFW) https://i.redd.it/q36vv9f9nz061.jpg
All of these posts are from a 30 minute timespan.
2020.10.13 15:21 MansA13Octl Neighbour voyeur sex
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submitted by MansA13Octl to u/MansA13Octl [link] [comments]
2020.05.04 00:10 Mysterious-Visit Sex neighbour voyeur
Hi all, before I explain the most preposterous matter of events you’ve probably read in a while I should let you all know that I am the epitome of a rational person, I’m very level headed & is unlike myself to jump to any sort of conclusion that is in any way absurd etc .. however I am at a complete loss at the current matter of events I have been ill-fated with. I am here for some advice & possibly to hear similar stories however I I’m pessimistic to believe anyone has been unfortunate to have suffered the same circumstances.. First off, I have been seeing (we will call him Rodney) for about a year, most of which he lived with me at my house, a few months in his behaviour started to become suspicious, he started to hide away in his room, woman’s voices kept appearing, sexual noises started to come about, when we would share a bed I would wake up in the middle of the night to noises of him and what appeared to be another woman (moaning etc) sometimes I would catch him peering out the bedroom window whilst whispering to someone, after some time it became evident that he was opening the window because every time he would leave the house it was unlocked again. If I mentioned anything he would scream and demean me until I would cry and eventually let the issue go. It got so bad and so many of these instance kept occurring that I started to put my voice recorder on my phone when I would sleep as I couldn’t trust myself to fall asleep otherwise. In the recordings I can hear doors opening, whispering, sexual noises etc .. I’ve spoken to my mother about this as she is always the one to make me see sense when I’m not thinking clearly, however it was her that pushed the issue and mentioned something about voyeurism, from what I have researched o believe this could certainly be a possibility, especially as it was always very clear from the start that his kink was watching me emotionally distressed from his actions & the only time he was in the mood was during a fight when I had been completely distraught .. apart from that he had no interest, especially if I was in the mood - that was a complete turn off for him. However the issue I am faced with now, post his absence (he still visits here and there) is the fact that I can hear people around me, always around the same time at night (2,3am) I hear what sounds like someone jumping the fence & banging and footsteps all around me. It always sounds like there’s someone either under the house or in my backyard having sex & when it makes me upset and I yell out or call Rodney the sounds get louder and louder. Mind you, every time this happens is a time that Rodney goes mia and I am unable to get through to his phone .. My house is on stumps with access via the backyard, however I can’t imagine that under the house would be a desirable location to meet up with somebody. The other thing that has me at a complete loss and is devastating myself is that whenever he decides to visit his first go to is to use my spare bathroom shower, a few months ago I was in my bedroom and I could hear him and another person once again in a sexual manner - there was absolutely no way of mistaking this. I banged on the door and as usual he turned this around to be my fault. During the time he lived with me, he wasn’t the cleanest person and wouldn’t care if he missed a shower here and there but when he would come to visit he was incessant on having a shower and every time he makes a point to say that he wants a shower in peace like he’s enabling what he’s about to do. Without a doubt this happens every time he comes over. Prior to the shower, I start to hear unusual noises around the house like someone is in the walls or ceiling or under the house & my pet dog starts to go absolutely crazy - starting and scratching at the walls, whining like someone is there .. like clockwork every time. I ended up putting my phone at the door on voice record one day & listening back to it you can clearly hear another woman’s voice & as I said I’m not an irrational person so I’ve considered the idea it’s porn or phone sex, however it’s the difference between peoples voices via the phone and in person are distinctively different. Once the noises stop the shower door gets banged a few times over and over, then what sounds like something dragging on the floor, multiple banging noises like something being moved and heaving noises like someone is possibly lifting something or someone. I’ve investigated the bathroom and can’t find anything or any hiding spots it has me completely confused .. he does keep the rod you use to open/close ducted heating vents in there & found him playing with the drains a few times & S bend .. the shelf was also moved in the vanity cupboard. But the bathroom is a standard bathroom, bath, shower, vanity, mirror, exhaust fan, tiled floor .. I don’t get it. He will also find any excuse just to go and sit in there .. I have a feeling that the neighbour might have something to do with it, as there have been a few times he has come over and when he leaves (after receiving a text from someone and making up an obvious lie to leave) that I did not hear a car out the front start or leave. I live in a unit complex so can’t see the front street from my house. Late at night the neighbour also oddly starts to shine lights into my home, i can see them walk outside around 2am and from multiple directions see a light peering into my house. I also feel like they are using some sort of infrared sensor as it’s almost like an invisible light wherever I sit that almost blinds me. When I do hear people outside I proceed to turn off all lights and the lights and beams and tiny dots of red, blue, green is genuinely bs .. I also see people’s silhouettes around my house checking where I’m located in the house. Not to mention I’ve always had a weird ability to pick up radio waves/tv waves and when this is all happening it’s so strong it makes me feel like I’m going to pass out and almost feels like I’m loosing my hearing. Is there anywhere in the bathroom that you think I’m overlooking? Possible that someone is in the roof/walls? I need to know because its affecting my life in every way, I’m on the last stretch of removing him from my life but even so, I need to know otherwise I will question it for the rest of my life and trusting anyone won’t be an option for me. And if anyone has been through similar I prey that you were able to emotionally recover from the trauma of having the person you trust the most severely use you for their own fucked up derranged fantasies ..
submitted by Mysterious-Visit to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2020.05.04 00:08 Mysterious-Visit I think boyfriend is hiding someone in the house
Hi all, before I explain the most preposterous matter of events you’ve probably read in a while I should let you all know that I am the epitome of a rational person, I’m very level headed & is unlike myself to jump to any sort of conclusion that is in any way absurd etc .. however I am at a complete loss at the current matter of events I have been ill-fated with. I am here for some advice & possibly to hear similar stories however I I’m pessimistic to believe anyone has been unfortunate to have suffered the same circumstances.. First off, I have been seeing (we will call him Rodney) for about a year, most of which he lived with me at my house, a few months in his behaviour started to become suspicious, he started to hide away in his room, woman’s voices kept appearing, sexual noises started to come about, when we would share a bed I would wake up in the middle of the night to noises of him and what appeared to be another woman (moaning etc) sometimes I would catch him peering out the bedroom window whilst whispering to someone, after some time it became evident that he was opening the window because every time he would leave the house it was unlocked again. If I mentioned anything he would scream and demean me until I would cry and eventually let the issue go. It got so bad and so many of these instance kept occurring that I started to put my voice recorder on my phone when I would sleep as I couldn’t trust myself to fall asleep otherwise. In the recordings I can hear doors opening, whispering, sexual noises etc .. I’ve spoken to my mother about this as she is always the one to make me see sense when I’m not thinking clearly, however it was her that pushed the issue and mentioned something about voyeurism, from what I have researched o believe this could certainly be a possibility, especially as it was always very clear from the start that his kink was watching me emotionally distressed from his actions & the only time he was in the mood was during a fight when I had been completely distraught .. apart from that he had no interest, especially if I was in the mood - that was a complete turn off for him. However the issue I am faced with now, post his absence (he still visits here and there) is the fact that I can hear people around me, always around the same time at night (2,3am) I hear what sounds like someone jumping the fence & banging and footsteps all around me. It always sounds like there’s someone either under the house or in my backyard having sex & when it makes me upset and I yell out or call Rodney the sounds get louder and louder. Mind you, every time this happens is a time that Rodney goes mia and I am unable to get through to his phone .. My house is on stumps with access via the backyard, however I can’t imagine that under the house would be a desirable location to meet up with somebody. The other thing that has me at a complete loss and is devastating myself is that whenever he decides to visit his first go to is to use my spare bathroom shower, a few months ago I was in my bedroom and I could hear him and another person once again in a sexual manner - there was absolutely no way of mistaking this. I banged on the door and as usual he turned this around to be my fault. During the time he lived with me, he wasn’t the cleanest person and wouldn’t care if he missed a shower here and there but when he would come to visit he was incessant on having a shower and every time he makes a point to say that he wants a shower in peace like he’s enabling what he’s about to do. Without a doubt this happens every time he comes over. Prior to the shower, I start to hear unusual noises around the house like someone is in the walls or ceiling or under the house & my pet dog starts to go absolutely crazy - starting and scratching at the walls, whining like someone is there .. like clockwork every time. I ended up putting my phone at the door on voice record one day & listening back to it you can clearly hear another woman’s voice & as I said I’m not an irrational person so I’ve considered the idea it’s porn or phone sex, however it’s the difference between peoples voices via the phone and in person are distinctively different. Once the noises stop the shower door gets banged a few times over and over, then what sounds like something dragging on the floor, multiple banging noises like something being moved and heaving noises like someone is possibly lifting something or someone. I’ve investigated the bathroom and can’t find anything or any hiding spots it has me completely confused .. he does keep the rod you use to open/close ducted heating vents in there & found him playing with the drains a few times & S bend .. the shelf was also moved in the vanity cupboard. But the bathroom is a standard bathroom, bath, shower, vanity, mirror, exhaust fan, tiled floor .. I don’t get it. He will also find any excuse just to go and sit in there .. I have a feeling that the neighbour might have something to do with it, as there have been a few times he has come over and when he leaves (after receiving a text from someone and making up an obvious lie to leave) that I did not hear a car out the front start or leave. I live in a unit complex so can’t see the front street from my house. Late at night the neighbour also oddly starts to shine lights into my home, i can see them walk outside around 2am and from multiple directions see a light peering into my house. I also feel like they are using some sort of infrared sensor as it’s almost like an invisible light wherever I sit that almost blinds me. When I do hear people outside I proceed to turn off all lights and the lights and beams and tiny dots of red, blue, green is genuinely bs .. I also see people’s silhouettes around my house checking where I’m located in the house. Not to mention I’ve always had a weird ability to pick up radio waves/tv waves and when this is all happening it’s so strong it makes me feel like I’m going to pass out and almost feels like I’m loosing my hearing. Is there anywhere in the bathroom that you think I’m overlooking? Possible that someone is in the roof/walls? I need to know because its affecting my life in every way, I’m on the last stretch of removing him from my life but even so, I need to know otherwise I will question it for the rest of my life and trusting anyone won’t be an option for me. And if anyone has been through similar I prey that you were able to emotionally recover from the trauma of having the person you trust the most severely use you for their own fucked up derranged fantasies .. 😪
submitted by Mysterious-Visit to u/Mysterious-Visit [link] [comments]
2020.01.13 00:04 Winter-Coffin Neighbour voyeur sex
Hi, I'd really appreciate the opinion of some women on what I'm doing. I'm conflicted as I am a feminist, yet flashing and is considered by some as sexual assault. I've read a lot of articles where they say that flashing, like rape, is about power, and that people like me will often graduate to rape. That's not the case with me. I'm an exhibitionist, I like to be watched. I have no interest in forcing anyone to have sex with me. So as a feminist I feel it would be sexist for me to adopt the attitude of most men, and just deny women their sexuality, and say women can't be voyeurs. I do understand however that a man exposing himself can be scary and threatening. This is why I am very careful about how I expose myself. So before I continue, I live in a student area where there are no families with children around. All the houses are split into as many flats as possible and are packed with as many bedrooms as can be. I started by becoming a nudist and leaving the curtains open. At first the neighbours burst into laughter and were interested in seeing me naked, then they qucikly became used to seeing me naked and just ignored me. I then started to masturbate fully naked on my bed, with the curtains open and all the lights off, I would use my laptop to light my body. This way it is not entirely obvious that I'm perfoming. This is how I started anyway, that was about three months ago. No one has called the police, and there are about ten windows spread across approx five apartments can all see what I'm doing. I'm guessing that would be something like thirty people with a good view. I take this to mean no one is especially threatened by my behaviour. I've noticed that some of the bedrooms with the best views often leave a gap in their curtains at night. I hope this is because they enjoy watching me, but I'd like to hear a woman's opinion on this. I don't want to delude myself. I know that society often judges women very harshly, so part of me believes these women are leaving this gap to watch, but would be mortified if they thought I had noticed they enjoyed watching. They could also of course want to watch, but be afraid of encouraging me.
((Edit: repeated text))
submitted by Winter-Coffin to copypasta [link] [comments]
2019.12.03 17:22 sex-stories_org Neighbour voyeur sex
2018.04.04 19:23 removalbot Neighbour voyeur sex
Murder of women & children, by males who identify as being a 'woman'
[Kayleigh-Louise Woods / Kyle Lockwood]1 Torture and murder of Bethany Hill
[Graham Cleary-Senior]2 Murder of Frances Cleary-Senior
[Colin Coats]3 Torture and murder of Lynda Spence
[Joyce / Gavin Boyd]4 Murder of Vikki McGrand (2010), also attempted rape of a 19 year old woman
[Steve Wright]5 Murder of Gemma Adams, Tania Nicol, Anneli Alderton, Paula Clennell and Annette Nicholls
[William Jaggs]6 Manslaughter (on grounds of diminished responsibility) of Lucy Braham
[Craig Hudson / Kimberley Green]7 Torture and murder of Rachel Hudson
[Lian / Ian Huntley]8 Murder of two ten year old girls, Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman
[Joanne Latham]9 Attempted murder of Sarah Smith
[Maxine/Matthew Richardson]10 Murder of Margaret Bolingbroke
[Jane-Anne / John Pilley]11 Attempted murder and kidnapping of Linda Charlesworth
[Lennie Smith]12 Convicted paedophile suspected to have killed 5 children
Rape & sexual abuse of children, by males who identify as being a 'woman'
[Kathleen CarpenteKeith Thompson]13 Indecent assault of a child
[Lana / Ben Laws]14 Sexual assault, possession of CSA images, repeated SOPO breaches
[Aaron Hughes / Aza MacKillan]15 Rape & sexual offences against multiple children incl a toddler
[Dawn Love]16 Sexual assault of a child
[Pauline / Paul Long]17 Multiple charges of child sexual abuse
[Jasmine Hill]18 Multiple convictions for child sexual abuse
[Kira Leverton]19 Child sexual abuse
[Terence Moore]20 Child sexual abuse
[David Fuge]21 Rape and multiple sexual assaults on a child
[Nicholas March]22 Attempting to pay for the sexual services of a child
[Davina /David Ayrton]23 Rape of a female child
[Lisa/ Craig Hauxwell]24 Rape and sexual assault of two teenage girls
[Gina Owen]25 Child sexual abuse
[Paul Banfield]26 Child sexual abuse
[Kristian Churchill]27 Abduction of a child, allegations of inappropriate relationships with children under 16
[Dominic Purvis]28 Child sexual abuse
[Nicola Cope]29 Rape and sexual abuse of two young girls
[Kristen Lukess]30 Repeated SOPO breaches after conviction for rape of female child
[Nicola Florida]31 Rape and sexual abuse of multiple children & SOPO breach a decade later
[Jorven Seren]32 Child sexual abuse
[Geoffrey Cowell]33 Child sexual abuse
[Paul Reed]34 Multiple sexual assaults against female children and young women over a decade
[Ann Edmead]35 Child sexual abuse
[Dean Sawley]36 Rape and sexual assault of a child with learning difficulties
[Geraldo Tucciarone]37 Rape of two young children
[Mark Lazarus]38 Sexual assault of children. Also attempted rape of a 71 yr old woman
[Martin Shaxted]39 Child sexual abuse
[Peter Trigger]40 Child sexual abuse
[Unnamed Pontefract Transvestite]41 Exposed genitals to several children (2012)
[John/Elizabeth Rawley]42 Child sexual abuse
[Unnamed Manchester Transvestite]43 Sexual assault of a 16 year old girl
[Stephen Owen]44 Multiple sexual assaults against children
[Gary Marie]45 Child sexual abuse
[Lawrence Balshaw]46 Child sexual abuse
[Paul Cleife]47 Child sexual abuse
[Martin / Jade Eatough]48 Rape & sexual assault
[Perry Hockley]49 Child sexual abuse
[Marcia / Mark Walker]50 Rape of two young girls
[Jessica Winfield / Martin Ponting*]51 Rape of two young girls, one of whom lives with a disability
[Ronald Lineker]52 Child sexual abuse
[Full Sutton prisoner]53 Kidnap & sexual assault of a child
[Lennie Smith]12 Rape and sexual assault of multiple children
Rape & sexual abuse of women, by males who identify as being a 'woman'
[Alexis / Aaron Herschell]55 Attempted rape of 19 year old woman. Claimed transgender status to force female prison officers to search him
[Islington cross-dressing]56 Sex offender sought by police after exposing his genitals to a female train passenger
[Helen Doe]57 Sexual harassment of female police officer during arrest for attempted murder
[Jessica Winfield/ Martin Ponting]58 Segregated after exhibiting sexually predatory behaviour towards female prisoners in HMP Bronzefield
[Paris Green]59 Removed to male prison after exhibiting sexually predatory behaviour towards female prisoners in 2 separate female prisons
[Sam Broadhurst]60 Stole & wore a woman’s underwear while stabbing & sexually assaulting her partner
[Derek Allan]61 Covert filming and stalking of 2 women
[Robert Westmore]62 Mutiple rapes & sexual assaults against four women
[Paul Reed]34 Multiple sexual assaults against young women and female children over a decade
[Shane Turner]64 Stalking and sexual abuse of multiple women
[David Wotherspoon]65 Exposed himself wearing lingerie to alarm female neighbours
[Ian Qualters]66 Exposed himself while wearing women’s clothing/swimwear and stalked/harassed female neighbours
[Claire Darbyshire]67 Broke into a female friend’s house, masturbated into her underwear and stole her clothes
[Qasim Anwar]68 Rape
[Stacie McLean]69 Segregated from female prisoners after several reported McLean threatened to rape them (2013)
[Clare Lawton]70 Rape
[Peter Steel]71 Rape
[Mark Lazarus]38 Attempted rape of 71 yr old woman, also sexual assault of children
[Kim Goode]73 Exposed genitals in a shopping centre, assaulted police officers
[Gary Marie]45 Stalking, voyeurism, image-based sexual abuse
[Paul Cleife]47 Indecent exposure
[Martin / Jade Eatough]48 Rape & sexual assault
[Geoffrey Holyoake]77 Rape, sexual assault, false imprisonment
[Karen Lawson / Mark Jones]78 Attempted rape of a female shop assistant while out on licence for manslaughter of Michel Cutler
[Michael Haslam]79 Rape & sexual assault of multiple women
[Marcus Hance]80 Attempted rape, possession of a ‘rape kit’
[Joyce / Gavin Boyd]81 Attempted rape & permanent disfigurement of a 19 year old woman (1999)
[David Harris]82 Sexual assault of 2 women (1998) Breached SOPO in 2004, 2005, 2006, 2009, 2012
Why are UK politicians ignoring the murder, rape and sexual abuse, by Transgender Identified Males ('TransWomen'), against Females and Children?
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2018.02.02 16:27 BillyElNino Neighbour voyeur sex
Having just finished reading Unfinished Murder by James Neff I thought I would, after doing an unsuccessful subreddit search, start a thread about him as the similarities in the cases are intriguing. A prolific serial rapist, Shelton prowled compulsively, was a voyeur, broke into homes, took whatever money was around and raped strangers in their homes with threats of violence and was convicted of 49 rapes in the end (from memory). Where, for me, the book gets interesting is how it goes into his lifestyle and childhood, which could potentially point to the kind of man the EARONS was. Shelton was beaten savagely by both parents and had a very dominant mother, he was already a voyeur from a young age and was convicted of a hammer attack and attempted rape on his female neighbour aged just 12 for which he inexplicably spent very little time away, he also raped a 12yr old girl staying with the family as a child and this behaviour continued into adulthood. He was incapable of holding down a job, would go out to bars and clubs incessantly with a successful and consensual sex life as well as the voyeurism and rapes. He had several chaotic parasitic relationships with women that inevitably turned sour and was violent with a terrible temper, often fighting in bars and clubs as well as attacking his girlfriends. With multiple run-ins with the law including for related offences it's amazing he eluded capture for I think 5 years.
From what I've read on psychopathic traits Shelton would tick a lot of boxes and the similarities between this guy and the South Hill Rapist Kevin Coe are remarkable in terms of their chaotic relationships and personal circumstances and how the prowling / hunting and raping consumes them, casting a shadow over everything.
I'd certainly recommend the book if you're interested in reading about similar offenders.
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2016.12.27 19:10 KayJay012 Neighbour voyeur sex
Today marked my completion of the 90 day hardmode reboot challenge that I undertook. I O'd today, and porn was involved but not together(I know, very strange but explained near the end)
Forgive me for the long post but I want to put my thoughts about the journey with the positives and negatives in writing where people with similar challenges can relate and maybe take a learning or two.
Trying my best to keep this structured and easy to read but please bear with me, it may help and provide insight for people :)
Me 27 Male Europe Have had access to high-speed internet porn for circa 11 years
Why did I start noFap? I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with a particular fetish that I had developed from porn and Googled how porn could affect sexual tastes which led me to yourbrainonporn.com and I bought the book on my Kindle immediately. I was shocked but also incredibly relieved to find so many struggling with very similar and often identical issues and symptoms that I was. I was on the 'lighter' end of the scale as my porn viewing was a 1-2 times a week thing yet it was ever-present. Even still, I knew I wanted to break free of what porn was doing to my brain. A 90 days hardmode reboot seemed like a good place to start.
Was if difficult? Much more than I thought it would be. I was more a 1-2 times a week kind of guy and had gone about 2 weeks without O'ing before without really having to think about but as that was a few years ago I felt 90-days hardmode would be a good tester. The first two to three weeks were the most difficult. I didn't feel like I had a 'flatline' or depression from it, but nor did I notice the famed 'superpowers'. But I was shocked how automatically I reached for my laptop to relapse. I came very close once and only visiting here stopped me. However it did not take me long to recognise the pattern that caused the urges - boredom. Boredom was the cause for the urges every time, no exceptions. It became so obvious when I thought about it, I almost exclusively PMO'd at the weekends when I had nothing to do.
Was it worth it? What were the positives? It was most definitely worth it and I actually do not think today was a disaster or has destroyed my progress. Through noFap I definitely noted positives such as better focus, less brain fog(a bit cliche) as well as better performance at work and more over-all energy. I also noted improvements in my weight training and burst through some plateaus. I can't say I noticed any more attention from women sadly but this wasn't a goal of mine so hasn't really bothered me.
The biggest positive about going non-PMO for 3 months? Forcing me to be uncomfortable(the urges and boredom) and not being able to take the easy way out(no PMO option). Without a doubt. It was the circumstance and not some magical occurrence that helped me turn the first corner towards becoming the man I want to be.
As I sat and felt the urges(they always pass but you cannot passively wait it out in your mind), the pattern of when and why I was PMO'ing was becoming clearer and clearer - I had unintentionally and unknowingly made myself into a recluse and numbed the loneliness before I even felt it by letting my mind wander in the mirage of bliss provided by internet porn. But that numbing came at a heavy, invisible price - life was passing me by.
What did I do right * I came off Facebook and social media. Removing this voyeuristic and validation seeking black-hole was a valuable step for me. It simply meant less time looking as meaningless shit on a screen * I told 2 close friends. I told one about 50 days in and another about 75 days in. Both incredibly supportive and interested by the topic. I knew these guys would be open-minded and I have known them almost all my life. I would take a bullet for them without hesitation and they would do the same for me. Telling them was easy for me and not everybody has the luxury of this. I would advise other nofapper's to tell close friends if possible but tread carefully, we should not stick our heads in the sand about the stigma still attached to porn addiction(many still think it's just losers in their mom's basements and that it's not a real thing). * I read, a lot. I picked up reading on my Kindle far more regularly and it's been great for my mind. I'm a sucker for the masturbation that self-improvement provides and I have provided a few reading suggestions below. * I invested in my appearance. I have been heavy gym user for 7 years now and train with powerlifters and bodybuilders so thankfully I had a bit of a head-start here but I started to think a lot more about my clothes, an area I have always been lacking in. Compliments came thick and fast on this. It's been great and it does wonders for my confidence. Just gotta remember other people's validation is nice, but not necessary. * Cold showers. I love a good mental challenge. This was a fun one that gave a sense of accomplishment, control and confidence. A good starting point for realising that you are the boss of you. * I decided I would always choose the social option. This took my about 60 days to realise it needed to be done. The slight social anxiety I had built up from avoiding social situations and PMO'ing instead made it uncomfortable. But only a month of doing this has been incredible. Instead of cowering in front of a screen getting aroused by weird shit, I was out making friends and living life. It's awesome really. This was the most important positive but I stress; it did not just happen, it was a choice
What did I do wrong? What have I learned I must do differently? * I did not regulate my fantasies. I let them run riot in my head, particularly near the end. I am the master of my mind and destiny and I failed to take control here. It was what lead to the relapse today. This will not be allowed happen again. * I read books on seduction and sex-tips. I honestly don't know what I was thinking - this won't happen again. It caused a lot of the fantasies as above. * I waited for the 'superpowers' - they exist but for me have been very subtle. I guess it's because my addiction wasn't very bad to begin with so the return to normality wasn't so pronounced. Again I must stress that you must not be passive about this, you still must make things happen. * I substituted YouTube for social media. It was just more voyeurism under a different guise. I want to be a participant in life, not an audience member. I'm not beating myself up about this however as it was mostly topics that helped me learn either about people or area's I am interested in. My only caution is to be mindful about what you are substituting.
THE RELAPSE Boredom and fantasies got me today. I am disappointed but not devastated. I stupidly googled something about my fetish and before I knew it I saw a P video. The strange thing is I was able to look and not get lost in it, I almost laughed at how inauthentic it was so I switched it off and went back to reading. However about 2 hours later I caught myself fantasizing and this time I edged but did not stop, I allowed myself the release. I felt some shame but also a lot of clarity - it was not the insane rush I would have expected and I really now feel much more in control now that I have stared it in the face. Ultimately; I completed my challenge and I O'd without porn, only fantasy which is still huge strides forward. It's important to acknowledge the benefits too. This was not a failure for me, only a curve in the road that I have learned from. I will still reset my counters however as I did both O and look at porn today. That they were not at the same time is a mere logistical detail
FINAL THOUGHTS noFap will not solve all your problems, but if you use the time and energy not-PMO'ing gives you to observe your behaviours/thoughts/emotions over time you will begin to identify causes of why you live the life you do. It gave me the clarity to see what I was doing with time I will never get back and with no option to PMO my days away, I did something about it. The decision and actions were everything here, noFap simply acted as the glasses I needed to see clearer and identify what I needed to.
I do not hate porn, but I recognise that my heavily introverted personality with lack of confidence ultimately aided in developing a mild PMO addiction that spilled over into all aspects of my life. Like alcohol, porn will be fine in mindful moderation for most people but some will not mix well with it and may not have the appropriate tools to deal with what it offers. For me I cannot think of any benefits for me so my decision is to simply not 'plug in' to it. Simple, but maybe not easy.
Gentleman(and any ladies), I leave you with this. We must be the masters of our own destiny. You do not need to know exactly where you want to go(few really do) but you must be honest when assessing your life - are you happy? Look at other men you admire(family, neighbours, sports-stars, coaches, authors, whoever) for ideas on who you want to be. Frankenstein the characteristics you most admire and begin to work towards them. My favourite analogy that I use with people I manage is the one of the ship in the sea(cheesy though it is) - push a ship with no destination or captain out to sea and where will it end up? It will likely float endlessly never arriving anywhere worthwhile. But push it out with a captain and crew it will get where it needs to go 99 times in 100. We must be the captain of our ships or the mirage of pleasure offered by online porn will keep us passively floating and eroding our life energy for the rest of our lives. The evidence is already there, it is time to wake up.
''You are where you are because of who you are. If you want to get somewhere else, you have to change something''
Suggested reading Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson - this book opened my eyes on what porn was really doing to us. The starting point for me. Iron John by Robert Bly - a fascinating look at masculinity through the ages A Little Book on the Human Shadow by Robert Bly - have only started this but looking into the darker aspect of ourselves is always interesting No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover - An eye opening read for me on my own behaviours. Highly recommended.
tl;dr 90 days hardmode completed, relapsed. Not end of the world. noFap allowed greater clarity, which lead to better decisions. wrote narcissistic essay on journey
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2014.11.28 19:11 Clairebeauchamps Neighbour voyeur sex
There was once an odd-eyed girl. The left eye was pitch black, the right one was turquoise blue.
She was a pretty girl but she was lonely as one can be. She didn't have many friends because her difference made her unsettling for the common people. There was barely warmth in her eyes, absolutely no tenderness. Only the sharp look as only someone who can see the world as it is can have.
Her unique look had a purpose. The right eye saw merely the physical life but with the left one saw those spirits caught in our world. Those who are too dense to move on to the actual spirit life, and are stuck here in between worlds. Like an ethereal prison, seeing what happens to the living with very strict limitations to make themselves known. They saw everything you did but could never interfere... With some peculiar exceptions.
Of course everybody can communicate with them. You have ouija boards and people hold seances all over the world to communicate with entities, you have experiences you can make and capture their EVP's. There's night vigils, prayers and chants. But you don't need any of that if you are like this girl and have a true gift. She sees them. She can't actually talk to them, she's not fully capable of dealing with the whole after-life business. They said with work she would be sensitive enough, but after reading enough about the subject during her teen years she soon realised she had already enough trouble as it is.
When she was very very small, she was taken to a famous voodoo priestess down in New Orleans but her parents were wise enough to not follow the woman's reccomendations. She was not trying to help her, she was trying to enslave her so she could help with her Papa Legba's devotional group. It's better to ask stuff when you actually know he's there to listen to you. She saw him for the first time when she was about twelve but she didn't recognize him and she had nothing to worry about. He's the gatekeeper of the realm so there's a lot of chaos surronding him, lot of people asking to go through to other realms. He saluted her bowing his head a bit and moved on to his business.
Her parents, mostly her mother, tried everything to close her window to the other world but there was nothing they could do. When it all got too much she simply used a pirate's eye patch she bought in a kids store.
The patch worked just fine since she could not hear or feel them. She looked ridiculous but at peace, so it was worth every laughter on the street. So she bought more, one in every color of the rainbow and she kept it for years on her bedside table.
But she grew curious after a while and eventually took the patch off, she missed them, that extra touch to boring reality. Now she only uses it when the shadow people pay a visit. It's not the sleep paralisys, or the fact that they visit without invitation, it's the staring that innerves her.
Usually the spirits are to busy doing their own thing, or trying to tell the living how to their own thing and don't even notice that she can see them. When they finally see it, either because she is staring too hard or because she also tries to talk to them through mimics they try to talk to her.
The shadow people don't have an actual agenda so they stand there. Staring. Silent. Unmoving by the end of your bed. The hooded figures prefer the end of the bed. The men with the hat lean on you by the side of the bed and smell you. They like the scent of life. They adjust their hat and leave when they are satisfied. It's the creepiest of all the creepy things that have happened to her in thirty years of mismatched eyed existence.
She tried telling her boyfriends and girlfriends about her condition, but they either think she's joking (she has one of those faces that you can never understand if she's being serious or not) or try to convince her to get to the psychologist. Her last girlfriend tried a home made exorcism. She endulged her and decided to go along with the act. The truth was that she saw her girlfriend's dead gradma whispering tips to her ear she was convinced that Sara was posessed for the devil and trying to get her granddaughter to give up her soul.
That was the only thing that truly bothered her about having the after-sight as she called it, she always had to keep her left eye shut during sex. Or she would see dead relatives and ex lovers or wierdly random haunting voyeur who spent their time stuck in this dimension watching people having sex.
There's all sorts of crowds. Some hang in prisons because they think it would help them penitence whatever unfinish business they have. Some hang in hospitals, monitoring sick people ( usually former workaholic nurses and doctors). some play cards with other dead in the cemitery, have territorial disputes over the next tomb neighbour.
Some hang on their football team's stadium, some spent years in churches/mosks/sinagogs, some spend them watching tv on their former living room complaining about decor decisions of the people who live there.
That's the number one mistake people make when they talk about ghosts. They just assume they are more interesting than the living. They are same, same boring habits, same idiossincracies.
All the stories are about possession, evil spirits or about the total opposite like casper or guardian angels. But they are the people that annoy you in the subway home, that stand in front of you in concerts, that don't respond to your politeness in the elevator. Sara liked staring at them as people liked watching reality tv and soap operas.
There was only one event that she regretted immensely.
She was going on a seance with a friend that thought it was spectacular to have a friend that could see the dead and wanted to bring her to her lame ghostbusters club.
She agreed because as mentioned, she didn't have many friends, she accepted the few that stick with her even after they knew about her condition.
In that group she was a rockstar. She felt loved, pampered. She wanted pepperoni pizza they would get it for her. She saved a lot of money in dinners with them. All she had to do is stand there and say all that she saw around her. They would change locations regularly. To experience the spiritual world in the fullest it was possible.
They had all the technology paranormal investigators use and they were pretty known in the paranormal community online.
One day, they decided to investigate an old slaughter house just outside the city. The place was closed down a couple of years ago and since then quite a lot of people mentioned experiencing the usual chills on the back of their necks and shiverings. The growling and voices calling the trespassers names' were common too. There were cases of physical harm specially during expeditions that happened during the night, peaking at 3 am. The folks of Bella's paranormal study group experienced that, several people commited suicide there and left notes about an evil spirit living there.
Sara didn't believe in demons so she thought that, at best, she could see who was really haunting that place and then clarify her fellow ghost hunters.
They got there with their backpacks of equipment and lanterns and there was no one there. Which was odd. There's always spirits everywhere, even if just passing through. Sara reckoned that it was a bit out of the way but it was odd there was not even one soul attached to this land. They sat there in silence, in the dark, listening to owls and night sounds, the eventual dog barking at the distance. Some head lights illuminated the place briefly. Nothing happened. Not a soul, it was creeping her out.
It was 3 am and she was anxious to get home, she was hungry and cold and a man in a hat appeared. He looked different than the shadow people. He had a straw hat, he was elegant and was smoking a pipe. She thought it was odd since she never saw a ghost smoke before.
Before she knew Bella was screaming before Benjamin decapitating her with a large sword and she started to run as she heard him shoot Jacob and Helen. He was chanting some sort of prayer, it sounded like he was singing song backwards.
The man was still there as Ben shot her in the head. She felt the warm blood falling on my face and she was gone.
I was the man waiting for her, i approached her and helped her up. My name is Papa Legba, the gatekeeper for the souls. She asked me if Ben had evoked me to this. I clarified that no, I am a slave to no man and I am not a demon. I merely help the souls pass onto the next life or help them communicate with the living. That boy, I said, was merely a murderer. I want nothing with him. There was no demon, no spirit haunting him but his own darkness. I explained she was going to be my eyes.
There is an odd-eyed girl. The left-eye is pitch black and sees the world of the living and the right one is turquoise and sees her fellow dead friends.
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2013.12.13 08:24 thebeatofmyowndrum Neighbour voyeur sex
Hi all. I'm desperate for some support and guidance. My pornfree days have left me with a burning sexual desire that is difficult to turn off. Last night I noticed neighbours having sex and I spied on them, no surprise that it was a huge thrill and satisfied what I used to crave from porn. I think I was spotted and now I feel a huge huge huge amount of shame. It's almost crippling today because I am scared and worried of any consequences that may arise. Please help.
EDIT 1 13th dec: what's worse now is that if I feel I got away with it, I'd probably do it again. Such is the urge for voyeurism in a post-porn mind..
Edit 2 14th Dec: So far I don't think anything is going to come of this. I've been monitoring the window of my neighbours for any activity, thinking if they carry on as normal they may not have seen me in the first place. That said, I still peek at them. The lure is just too great. I massively regret blowing my cover because I could have seen their entire session. I'm now wondering if I will get another chance to see them, despite my massive scare. Next time I will be more discreet. I'm being really honest here, because I want people to know the extent to which I search for kicks, after a lifetime of porn. I think the two are related. I'm willing to risk being caught peeping for the sake of a sexual kick. How do I NOT watch, knowing I can watch two people have sex in secret? Any advice?
Edit 3 17th dec Amazing what you justify when you need to get kicks. Such is the power of sex. I used the same justifications with porn. Nobody will know. Just one more. Etc. this is identical. I have let myself down massively here, I hereby vow never to watch again. I don't want to disrespect then any longer, it's unfair and very very silly. I deserve better for myself.
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