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2020.11.25 11:03 Yayaya78 Porn with secret mom sex

Hi, guys. Thank you for reading my post here. I am beyond desperate for some guidance. I have no one to talk to so I appreciate your help more than you can possibly know.
I am 33F and suffering from crippling anxiety disorder. I cannot think clearly for myself. As soon as I wake up I am overcome with dread and racing thoughts, having no clue what move to make. I feel like I have no sense of self whatsoever and paralyzed with indecision. I was severely abused and neglected growing up, mostly by my mother who was a deranged and psychotic person, controlling me my entire life. I spent my childhood living in terror of this woman. All of my youth was just physical and mental abuse and extreme dysfunction. I have 4 siblings, but there is a huge age gap between us so I grew up as an only child.
Both of my parents were extremely racist. When I was a kid, I was forbidden from even LOOKING at someone with dark skin, either in person or on television, or listen to them on the radio. If I were caught doing so, whether real or imagined, my life would be threatened. One of the worst days in my life was in primary school when my mom discovered I had a secret friendship with a black student in my class. She was dropping me off in the morning and my friend was waiting for me at the gate. I felt such complete terror as we drove up to the gate, because I knew my friend was going to talk to me and my mother would see. She would see me doing the very thing I was forbidden to do my entire life. She ended up dragging me out of the schoolyard in front of everyone and started punching me on the head in the car and all the way home while driving. She then spent all morning beating me and torturing me at home. Eventually she got tired, so she finished by cutting my hair off very short on one side and then took a nap. When she woke up she wanted to go and get lunch with me but was embarrassed by my appearance. So she made me go to a hair salon and told the hairdresser I tried to cut my own hair, which was humiliating. I then had to go and have lunch with her while she basically told me the entire time that what she'd done to me was my own fault.
This is just one small example of the kind of life I had. Probably the worst part of it was watching my mom beat up my elderly grandmother on a regular basis. My mom basically kept her as a slave for decades. My parents worked all night cleaning buildings and delivering newspapers for a living, while my grandmother stayed home doing all the chores in the house. She worked hard until she fell ill with ovarian cancer and died. My mom abused her even on her death bed. She would also steal my grandma's social security checks every single month and only let her leave the house once or twice a year for doctor's appointments. She would cook meals in the kitchen and then my mom would come down in one of her rages and throw the entire pots of food all over the floor and then beat her. I could hear her screams and my stomach would hurt! My grandma would come crying to me, showing me her bruises and I was helpless to do anything.
My mother had all the windows in the house glued shut and either boarded with wood or covered with paint and wallpaper. She would lock us in the house from outside. We could not open the door from inside. And whenever she would leave, either my grandma or I would have to sit in the living room the entire time waiting for her to get back. She would be worried that my father would try to leave or touch her things, so we'd have to keep watch while she was gone. She basically lived out of the living room and slept on a recliner with a large industrial fan in front of her because she was always hot and kept the house freezing cold. She made my grandma and I sleep together in side by side twin beds next to the dryer in the den of the house so that we could keep an eye on each other. She wanted me to make sure my grandmother didn't die in her sleep, so at night I'd be so scared and listen to her breathing to make sure she was still alive next to me. I was often not allowed to sleep with the lights or TV off because then it would be "like a whorehouse." If we slept in "late" she would shake a 2 liter of soda and spray it on us or throw cans at us. I did not sleep alone until my grandma died when I was 16.
I also had very little medical care growing up. When I saw a doctor my mother would lie about me so they'd run tests on me for being 'anemic' or 'not eating enough.' I would not get help when I was truly sick. If I was, she would just give me a bunch of over the counter medicines to figure out for myself even though I was only little. She'd give me Aspergum (gum with aspirin) if I had a sore throat and I once accidentally overdosed and started uncontrollably vomiting to where I thought my jaw would unhinge. She called my pediatrician & he told her to take me to children's hospital. She never did even though I could have died that night. I guess she would've been embarrassed. She was a hypochondriac herself, and frequently called paramedics to the house or would go to the ER over having diarrhea/IBS symptoms from abusing laxatives to lose weight or anxiety.
My parents were both hoarders of objects and animals. They would steal all sorts of useless junk from the businesses they cleaned. Things like fireplace accessories when we did not even have a fireplace, or orthopedic replacement joints from a surgeon's practice, dental tools and fake teeth from a dentist's office, etc. Just boxes and boxes full of this junk. They would also bring home animals from the streets when they were driving around the city at night delivering papers. My mom would never get them spayed or neutered, so they would just breed and inbreed endlessly, some even born with deformities. By the time I was a sophomore in high school, they had at least 24 cats in the house, all living in one or two rooms. My mom would tell our relatives we had all those cats because my grandma and I "liked watching them f**k." We lived in absolute squalor, with animal waste everywhere.
I tried to comfort and protect these animals, and watching them suffer and die over and over again is something I don't think I can ever recover from. They would basically let the cats breed until it reached a certain point and then gather them up howling in boxes to dump them in the streets or at the back door of vet clinics/animal shelters. That or they would drop dead in the house. One of my brothers also came to live with us for a short while when I was little and he tortured my dog in front of me to make me cry and then laughed at me for it. He would say, "Animals only belong on the table for eating." He would come home raving drunk, acting crazy and throwing his heavy shoes at me when I was sent to wake him up for work. He also choked me when I was little by shoving a rag down my throat.
I had to drop out of high school due to the extreme conditions we lived in. I obtained a GED and went to college. I wanted to be educated and had dreams of being a writer and filmmaker. I loved movies and literature, which were my only comforts in my life. I always felt the only small talent I had was in writing because throughout my years of school, even in college, my teachers would use my writing to teach the class how to write essays. But I suffered from severe anxiety and mood swings all through university, and after graduation I found myself still living with my family. My life just completely fell apart after that. There was no transition into adulthood. I had no life skills at all, no money, student loan debt, never drove a car, etc. I had three close friendships that I maintained since elementary school, but they all parted ways with me by the end of college. I saw no escape. I started studying to be a vet nurse online, but my sanity just completely crumbled being stuck at home with my parents, and I ended up living a reclusive life for the next several years, basically the remainder of my 20s. I would just go out for errands or to get groceries, go to the cinema sometimes with my brother, but never went anywhere by myself. There was not even public transportation where we live. Unable to cope, I went from one addictive behavior to the next (cigarettes, alcohol, pills, junk food, etc), went through periods of severe depression where I would not shower for weeks and I'd have to cut my matted hair, wore the same clothes every day, had no access to healthcare or feminine hygiene products so I'd just put toilet paper in my underwear. If I asked my mom to get me something from the drugstore, she would tell my dad and brother to embarrass me so I stopped asking.
My mother suddenly died at home shortly after I turned 31. She went into end stage kidney failure due to neglecting her type 2 diabetes for decades and was put on dialysis. I think she could not handle being on dialysis and one day started complaining about back pain. Over the course of a year, her complaints grew more severe and frequent. It got to where she would spend hours every night wailing and screaming in the house about her back pain, repeating the same phrases over and over, "God help me! Help me, God!" I would wake up every day with panic attacks to the sound of her screaming. I would try to help her, tried finding spine specialists for her, but they said they couldn't find anything wrong with her back. She kept going to different ER rooms around the city where they would give her dilauded, morphine and vicodin and then send her home like that. I'd have to take care of her on those heavy drugs. She would be acting crazy in the house, falling down, having to pick her up, hallucinating, etc. I once found her chewing on her own bloodied finger! I would call the paramedics but they would not take her and then even the ER nurses would call me to complain about her. I finally convinced my brother to drive us to the hospital so I could speak to a doctor there to hospitalize her. She spent like two months in the hospital restrained to the bed and then was sent to a nursing home for rehab. The nurses would call me all hours of the day complaining about her behavior, refusing to cooperate and hitting the nurses, or for my father taking her out in the middle of the night without permission. Eventually her health insurance would not cover anymore care, so they sent her home and she started up all over again with the screaming and wailing. After a couple of weeks she died of heart failure.
Even though she destroyed my life, I did not want my mom to die or suffer. I don't know if her back pain was real. I wanted to lose weight so I could donate a kidney to her, but a doctor at the hospital told me she wasn't a good candidate for a transplant. Since then, the dynamic in the house changed and I was no longer being controlled and manipulated by anyone. It was the first time in my life that I could wake up and experience peace and quiet. It was like waking up for the first time in 8 years that went by in a blur. I have no proper work history as I've never worked outside the home, just done low-paying jobs online. My mother never allowed me to work when I was a kid, and always sabotaged any effort I made to be independent. To give you an example, when I was 19 I tried getting a job at a hotel and my mother told the manager that the staff was holding bets on who was going to sleep with me first so they would not hire me.
So right now, I have about 30k in student debt and I also have around the same amount in savings in the bank. I am terrified to spend the money and waste it. I have no idea how to move forward and become independent at this point. I think every day about committing suicide because it's just too late for me to fix this and have a meaningful life.
When my mom died, I was in very bad physical shape. I was basically morbidly obese (nearly 220 pounds at 5'2'') due to emotional eating and my food being controlled, bulimic, dealing with chronic pain in my joints since childhood, all sorts of painful dental problems, etc. I was able to get some money my mother received from a settlement due to a car accident and started using that to improve my life. I did my best to overcome my eating disorder, and I've managed to get down to 146 pounds. Ok, still big, but I'm 72 pounds lighter and continue to work on my health, diet, and fitness. I started exercising regularly, taught myself to ride a bike for the first time so I could take up cycling as exercise. I started seeing healthcare providers for the first time in many years, and for the first time in my life without being controlled. I had my eyes examined and got prescription glasses which stopped my chronic headaches. I then went to the dentist (I was so scared to go) and came home with about 4 pages of treatments I would need. I started selling things from my parent's hoarded junk to pay for this. My mom was still hoarding animals until she died, so I had to network like crazy online to find the best homes for them. I still have three cats in my care, but they are sweethearts and easy to care for. I had to see three different doctors, but my teeth are healthy now. I also went to driving school and got my license and have my own car now. I started practicing driving almost every day, and I still struggle with it, but I have been able to drive myself to appointments, the grocery, etc. I often experience derealization(?) when driving or at the grocery, but I still manage to do it. Let me tell you, these things I just listed to you were not easy for me with my extreme anxiety. I was absolutely scared to death of driving a car. I never thought such a thing was possible. The day of my first driving lesson, my hands were shaking. I really struggle with making phone calls, setting appointments, basically everything. Simple mundane things are monumental to me. The more I have been doing them, they have become 'easier' to do, though the anxiety persists.
My brother moved into his own place across the street about a year before my mom died. Now I am just stuck living in this rundown trailer with my alcoholic father. The day my mom died, he got completely drunk to where he fell down and gave himself a black eye. Every single night since then he gets drunk on wine and beer. I hear him vomiting and stumbling all over and talking nonsense. He was totally co-dependent on my mother even though they fought like cats and dogs all day long. My mom left him with nothing and totally helpless. He did not know his own social security number, have an ID card, no driver's license, never filed taxes, didn't know what to do when sick, etc. Basically living in my mother's shadow for 40 years. He was not even aware that my mother divorced him decades ago for domestic abuse! With my brother's help, we managed to get him widower's benefits, medicaid, an ID card, a bank account, his own phone, etc. The fact that I am living with him alone now is bizarre to say the least. Since before I was even 5 years old, my mother forbade me from speaking to him or being alone with him. She would always accuse me of having sex with him and would tell me it would be my fault if I let him rape me. After my mom died, he started clinging to me all day long, expecting me to tell him what to eat, sit with him during meals, getting drunk and harassing me every night, etc. Since then he's started doing handiwork for the trailer park tenants and has made friends and the landlady even gives him homecooked meals, so he stays out of my way for the most part.
I waste so much time fretting, ruminating, researching questions, unable to make decisions for myself. It's just an endless, pointless loop I cannot escape! I am scared to death I can't get out of this. I have never seen a therapist in my life nor do I know how to get one or if that would help me. I haven't even seen a physician since I was 19 years old. My college degree was useless and I don't think I qualify for pell grant anymore. I refuse to borrow more money and put myself even further in debt for schooling, especially when I don't know to what end. I am afraid no one will hire me even for a basic job due to my lack of work history and my age, and even if they do, how will I escape poverty on low wages like that? I hate living here and want nothing more than to be independent and living on my own. I've never had my own life, never got married, don't have a family, nothing. Should I just end my life now? Time is passing me by so fast. I used to be intelligent. I don't know who I am anymore. Please, if you could give me some advice on what to do, logical steps I could follow. Or just start a dialogue with me so I have someone to talk to other than my crazy thoughts. This is only a fraction of my story, but it's already too long to share more.
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2020.11.24 21:57 Dontscrewwithme Porn with secret mom sex

I was 15 when I became pregnant, I was barely 16 when I put my daughter up for adoption. I have never attempted to find her and my family does not know. How and why did this happen?
Unfortunately, my story goes way back...
My older brother had a terrible hit and run accident as a young boy riding his bike at night. He was only 12 years old at the time and wound up with an amputated leg, they never caught the person. It was the 1960's and he spend months in the hospital. He was 12, I was 7. Everyone was bending over backwards for him, even I asked if there was anything I could do to help him. That was when it started. My brother molested me off and on for five years as a child from the age of 7. I remember the fear when the tone of his voice changed when he called for me. When I was 12, I refused.
By the time I was 14, the entire family was in full blown depression. I didn't have many friends and our family was slowly disintegrating as alcoholism and hate took over my parents. It was a very unpleasant situation and we were all just hanging on by our fingernails. My two eldest brothers moved away leaving me along with him. I had told my mother about my issues with my brother and she said "what do you want me to do?". I was on my own.
At 15, I decided it was time to make new friends and start fresh. I went to a party of a classmate, he was one of the cool kids. Their parents had a turned the garage into a great hangout. I so desperately wanted to fit in, I stayed when my classmates older brother asked me to. I will admit I didn't have a lot of self worth at this point of my life and lost my 'virginity' to this boy. My 'first encounter' was naive and simple. I barely moved and I became pregnant. The father never knew.
My only sex ed came from the 5th grade presentation in the gym, I didn't understand things. This was before the internet and being able to find any answer at your fingertips. I tried to find anything I could. Library books were scarce, even pictures of pregnant women were hidden back then. I read somewhere that running could cause a miscarriage so I would sneak out and ran in the middle of the night, hard, for as long as I could. I knew people who knew about abortions. I tried several times, but I was underage and no one would even talk to me. I took buses out of state on my own trying to find someone, anyone, who could take care of this pregnancy. All while keeping it a secret. In desperation, I asked someone I knew to punch me as hard as he could right in the stomach. In my head, I knew the only other option was suicide. Instead, he called my mother and probably saved my life.
Mom came to the school immediately after the call and took me to the doctor. It was confirmed and I was pretty far along. I was shipped off to an aunt's apartment and a doctor was found in a town far away. A private adoption was arranged through the doctors office. Everything was hush hush. I was told future mom and dad were a doctor and lawyer who were childless and wanted to adopt. I went to my appointments and eventually had my baby girl. I was given a drug and I remember nothing. Afterwards, I was asked if i wanted to see her, I declined. All I know is her first name. It was all so surreal, like watching a movie. I went home after and nothing was ever mentioned.
My high school was told I had a serious illness and was excused most of my sophomore year. I went back my junior year, damaged goods. My high school put me on a work program and I only went to school 9-12 then off to work as a waitress. I found anything possible to avoid home life and enrolled at the community college for night time high school classes. I graduated early and was officially done with high school, or what little I had. I never attended graduation.
After my return to the real world, I met a boy. He was a young fella trying to hang on himself, homeless, dealing pot and trying to dodge police. I became pregnant again. I can still remember my mothers face and her asking how I could do this to her. I told her we would get married and raise the child. That was not an option. She had no money but I had a stash. I flew us both to New York where I had a late term abortion. No questions were ever asked where the money came from.
By 17, my mother was gone much of the time for her job and dad was becoming more of a drunk. I decided to make a go on my own and moved out. I worked three jobs to support me and my boyfriend in a small studio apartment. I discovered him with my best friend one afternoon. Surprisingly, that was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
I packed everything I owned in the car and left. I wound up on the front steps of a state college, enrolled. I had taken entrance exams with the 'best friend' so she wouldn't be alone, never expecting to really go. By some miracle, I was accepted to several schools. I think I was more scared then than any other time in my life.
My GPA was 1.69 that first year. I was lost considering my minimal formal education but I kept going. I recall going to a Christmas break party and invited my brother to join me. As we were leaving, he said something... Asking if I wanted to get back to 'having fun'. In that second, everything came rushing back. I was furious and this time, I was an adult that couldn't be manipulated. I remember telling him how badly he had single handedly fucked up my life. It was never mentioned again.
I stayed away at school and made a lot of friends. My third year, I met my future husband. Life was getting better. Several years later, my husband and I bought our first starter home. A year later, my brother moved two blocks away.... He had married and she had a sweet little girl. That is another story.
My brother came by daily to bitch about anything and everything. To save my sanity, my husband and I moved across the US to the west coast and never looked back. We raised two beautiful daughters and had successful careers.
I am now 59 years old. My daughter was born in 1976 and would be 43 now. Do I regret giving up my daughter for a better life? no. I'd like to think she found a loving family with the means to provide her with a happy upbringing. Something I could not have done at the time. Do I think about her? All the time. Would I like to meet her? I would. Do her siblings know about her? They do not.
Sometimes, life throws you curve balls. Life would have been very different had I not been molested by a pedophile, but that's the hand I was dealt.
As an adult, I can only imagine the immense joy of adopting an infant after trying for so long. I have never regretted my decision. The people that adopted you, raised you and loved you unconditionally are your parents. I will always be your birth mother and please know that you were always loved.
Everyone has their reasons for giving up a child. It is never an easy thing to do.
submitted by Dontscrewwithme to Adoption [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 19:27 certifiedninja24 Secret sex with mom porn

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submitted by certifiedninja24 to uvtrade [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 12:41 Curious_kitty_x Situationships and lying. Idk what to do at this point

Hi guys,
This is a long story to give you all some background to understand so buckle in.
I’ve been seeing this guy (let’s say John) for a little over a year now. We met through mutual friends and hit it off immediately. In the beginning of us talking, I was adamant that I wanted to stay single and get my life in order before jumping into a relationship and he understood that. The thing was, our connection was so strong, it was really hard to separate friendship from a romantic relationship. A few months go by and we’re very up and down because of some things he would do to upset me (I.e: sleeping in and bailing on our plans). This was also one of the biggest reasons why I never committed to him and gave myself to him whole heartedly but at the same time, John was consistently trying to work on us and be a better person by learning from his mistakes so I saw great potential in us.
Fast forward to this year. In the summer during lock down, he got in trouble with his parents for lying about being in school when he really wasn’t. John had to cut ties with me as a punishment of some sort to get his life situated. He stopped replying to me and I was upset. Upset that I didn’t get a good explanation as to why we couldn’t be in each other’s lives anymore. A week or two after we stopped talking, it was his birthday. I tried so hard to not think about the date to let myself carry on with my life so I never reached out and told him “happy birthday”. (Which I feel was nothing wrong on my part). He out of no where called me almost a month after we cut ties and told me how much he missed me and everything. He told me how hurt he was that I didn’t reach out for his birthday and how his mom got in his head that I didn’t really love him because of my silence (I don’t blame her mostly because she didn’t know me much and thought I was a bad influence on him at the time - when I was actually the opposite and she just never knew). We talked it out and I told him that I just wanted to be friends. That obviously didn’t work out as I expected because of our bond with one another. It was hard to separate my love for him from just being strictly friends.
Now this is where things took a turn. After a couple months of us talking again and resuming our situation ship (I call it that because we technically were never bf/gf), I found out from my good friend that John was actually dating his ex gf. He’s told me about his ex gf before and I know everything she’s done to him to hurt him. They broke up 7/8 months before we met because he found out she was cheating on him for the past 2 years with her best friend. He told me how much he hated her and how he never wants to work things out with her so when I found out he was back with her, my heart shattered. I confronted him about it and he told me that there was a good reason to this. They began talking when she reached out on his birthday and he saw an opportunity to use her to help him buy a house so he could move out so we could potentially have a chance to live with each other and also to get back at her for breaking his heart by leaving her high and dry after he got what he wanted. I felt uneasy about this because it just wasn’t something you would want to hear. Before all this, he’s never shown me directly this dark and petty side of him. He’s always been kind and sweet to me and made me the main character so to speak. But I also had a secret I wasn’t telling him (and I know that this will make me look horrible but to paint a full picture, I have to let y’all know). I had/have a sugar daddy and have had one almost throughout the whole time we’ve been talking. He’s asked me before if I have one since I haven’t worked in a while to focus on school but I still have nice things and keep certain luxuries in my life but I’ve lied and said no. I gave him another chance after my finding out because I understood that he’s doing what he needs to to move forward in life as I have been doing. I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t hear him out and held that against him.
I found this out 3 months ago. Throughout these 3 months, we’ve still been seeing each other romantically. His actions to me have been better than ever in the sense of him doing everything to make sure I’m happy and working on himself in the meantime. We’ve had ups and downs in this time period but we always talk things out as I am huge on communication to resolve disagreements. His ex recently bought a house for herself and him. They picked the house out together and she signed all the papers as the owner. He adamantly told me he wants nothing to do with the house and he’s only going to stay there as a temporary home while his home is being closed on. I told him that made me uncomfortable because that would mean he would sleep in the same bed as her and they would have to have sex at some point (he’s told me many times they never slept together because he didn’t allow them to be in a position in which they could). He reassured me that everything will be okay since he hasn’t moved in yet and he’s going to figure this all out so I’m comfortable with the situation.
Now THIS is where we are now....we got back from a romantic trip together recently and I found out coming back that he’s been lying to me about him and his ex’s relationship. I confronted him with what I was told and he denied everything to my face. I made it very clear that if I found out he was lying, I’m done. I also told him I’m over this bs and that when we get back to our city, he needs to end things with her.
A couple days after, I found out he lied to me about the fact that they never slept together and that he’s been staying with her in her house for 2/3 days out of the week since she moved in. He even went over there the night we flew in after dropping me off, which hurt me so much. He told me that it was to talk to her about how he felt and that he didn’t want to be with her anymore. He said he broke things off with her the day after and she didn’t take it well. I’m just having a hard time believing him at this point because of every lie that’s come to the surface. He keeps reassuring me that it’s me that he wants to be with, not her. He’s messaging me now telling me he loves me and how sorry he is for hurting me so much. I told him that I’m giving him a week to get his shit together and gather his thoughts and that he has one chance to tell me what he needs to tell me. I believe that’s fair for the both of us.
I guess I just need advice on what to do in this situation now. My heart wants to hear him out and give him another chance because I love him but my head is being smart and putting it’s foot down because of the lies he’s told me to my face. I also know I’m in a tough spot because I still currently have a sugar daddy that I see every other week that he knows nothing about. I don’t even know if I should tell him about this at this point. I know a wrong cancel out another wrong but should everything be on the table now?
submitted by Curious_kitty_x to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 11:27 SecretKeepingKat Porn sex mom with secret

*TRIGGER WARNING! I.E. MENTAL ILLNESS & SEXUAL ASSAULT & SELF HARM & SUICIDE *
One thing no one ever tells you about a formal PTSD diagnosis - especially when you are not a veteran- is the stigma that comes with it. (Don’t get me wrong I’m not putting down or dismissing what our veterans go through, my grandfather was in the Vietnam War and has PTSD from that.) but today I’m talking about PTSD from other forms of trauma.
A lot of people don’t understand it. How can you have PTSD from a relationship? Even if it’s an abusive one. I had an old manager - who I adore despite this comment - tell me things like anxiety, PTSD and depression were chosen by the individual. I sometimes wonder how true that is.
When you tell someone you have PTSD they automatically think about war. But when they realize you’ve never been to war you get scoffed at and people stop listing. A lot of people forget their are other types of trauma. For me it started with a knife being held to me and being forced to give a guy three years older than me oral. My first sexual experience was freshman year when it forced on me by the same guy. He, in comparison to what would follow, was pretty tame. Senior year I dated a guy who assaulted me repeatedly. I told his best friend who had set us up and..he never tried helping me out of the relationship. All he said was “I’ll talk to him.” To be honest I’ve blacked out most of that relationship but it comes in snippets.
I would say the worst one was the one that happened most recently. I’d know hm for years. He was my best friends cousin. He was a little brash but I trusted him with my life. He had liked me for a long time I guess and my freshman year of collage he came to my city and brought me my favorite flowers and took me to the zoo. He met my dorm mate and my grandparents, it was fun. I didn’t even realize it was a date until later that week. As our relationship progressed so did the abuse. At first it was all sunshine’s and roses. He knew about my PTSD diagnosis. He knew about my anxiety and my depression and he was there for it all. Slowly he started getting more controlling. At first it was slightly annoying things like pestering me for sex. Then it was not taking no for an answer and saying he thought i meant no ten minutes ago not no for the whole night. Then it became I couldn’t talk to a good friend who was an ex because the guy said he loved me (as in platonic love). Then it became it was irresponsible for me to have a fellow voulenteer for my robotics group in my room. Because come on what do guys and girls do together alone in a bedroom? I had to have my room door open so my housemate could watch us and text my boyfriend if I did anything. Then it was stupid for me to accept a ride from this person to a pool party with the robotics team we mentored. I went swimming in front of a bunch of teenage boys? What was I THINKING.
The most memorable night was when he was going off on me while I was at my best friends house and I was digging my nails into my arm out of anxiety. I’ve struggled for years with self harm and had been falling back into it throughout this relationship. My best friend pulled my arm away but remained silent as he laid into me. Later she would claim she knew the relationship was abusive all along but didn’t do anything to help me get out of it. Despite how miserable I was.
Somewhere in this mess I became pregnant. I lost the baby very quickly. I became very depressed. I’ve wanted a baby for so long despite how young I am and he didn’t understand why I was heart broken.
Long story short we had a nasty break up at my best friends house which included my best friends dad(his uncle) calling him childish and immature and saying I deserved better. I loved this man like a father. My own father had passed away many years ago.
Fast forward almost two years later we meet again at my best friends new apartment in the city where I was going to collage. Her younger friend was there and we all decided to drink. My ex teased me about not drinking the whiskey too quickly because he knows how I chug my alcohol. We were laughing, having a good time. I let him hug me willingly. I started thinking wow he’s changed. Our young friend had gotten very drunk - it was her first time drinking. She passed out. (This is a very important detail) my best friend decides to go to sleep. I decide to stay up and sober up and keep an eye on things while my ex gets more drunk. Somewhere in this mess my ex starts grabbing the ass of the younger girl. She’s too wasted to even tell what’s going on. Something inside me snapped. I didn’t want to see this happening. I pushed him off her and tried to drag her to my best friends room to sleep. She wouldn’t move. I didn’t think my best friend would care because she called our younger friend a slut and that she liked male attention. Which our younger friend agreed but I was always taught of you are passed out you can’t give consent. I wasn’t sure what to do but I knew I wasn’t going to let this happen to her. She refused to move and I’m admittedly rather weak and could not pick her up. So...I put myself in between them. He turned his attention to me. I played it off at first and then he got a little more aggressive. Saying it was our little secret. The more he grabbed at me the more I cried and he was to drunk to notice. I’ll spare you the details but at some point I locked myself in the bathroom and had texted a few of my friends to see if anyone was up and could come pick me up. It was like 3 am and I was too broke for a Uber or a lyft. No one answered. I felt trapped. I was tipsy. My belongings were scattered everywhere. I wasn’t in a good part of town, it was over an hour to walk home. I didn’t know what to do so I went back out to find him groping the younger girl again. After a few more rounds of this I gave up when he finally went to sleep and slept in my best friends bed with her.
When I woke up I hugged her and took the bus home. He was already gone. But he had texted me saying he was sorry.
One of my friends, a man I love very very much, began to ask me questions about what had happened. I told him. He tried to convince me to go to the police. I declined. He told me to tell her, I said no. He then screen shotted our conversation and sent it to her with the intent of keeping her cousin away from me. I was so mad at him. The anger was unexplainable. I called him names. I told him he broke my trust. I was ready to be done with him. But then she texted me. Saying she trusted me to not touch her cousin again and how dare I. She told me she had told my friend who told her what happened, someone she knew I was head over heels in love with, not to believe me and to never sleep with me because my ptsd skews what really happened and I would accuse him of rape. I broke. This girl had known me for almost eight years. I loved her like a sister. I loved her family. They had gotten me through hard times. I introduced her to her fiancé. We spent almost every moment we could together in high school. And here she was...saying I was lying. I conceded that maybe I was mistaken. That maybe I was so broken I didn’t know what happened. The months went by and my anger grew. I tried to kill myself a few times. When I told her that she said that I can’t try to kill myself every time she’s mad at me.
Eventually my breaking point was when she showed her mom the screenshots. I loved that woman. She gave me strength. She gave me purpose and helped show me who I was. She took this shy awkward girl and made her into something that wasn’t afraid to take risks. Her father was a father figure to me and she knew how much I loved them. Her littlest brother was like my little brother and I’m sure everyone knew that I had been very much in love with the middle boy and how he was my soft spot. And this woman that claimed to love me so - who had welcomed me into her home - believed that I was lying. Hearing that reading those made her cry...it did something to me. I was uninvited from my best friends 21st bday trip. I was not allowed at their house. Everything was unraveling. I blamed it all on my friend who told. I was so angry and I wanted to believe it was my fault and so I took my anger out on this sweet man who was trying to protect me. Christmas came closer and I was told not to buy anything for her family. People began asking questions - why wasn’t i at her party - what happened? And I told them everything. She texted me merry Christmas. I told her happy birthday. And then..I blocked her. And her family. On everything. I lost people that I loved and I miss them with all my heart. But not her. I cannot forgive someone who after eight years refused to believe that I had been sexually assaulted by someone she even stated to have mentally abused me.
My friend who told..were still good friends. I understand now why he did what he did I hold no ill will towards him and he has forgiven me for my unthinkable anger. I still love him with everything in my heart.
No one tells you when you have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, anxiety, PTSD and depression that you’re labeled as untouchable. People pity you and they look at you different even if they don’t intend to. People who were Intrested in dating you loose Interest quickly when they learn how messed up you are. People treat you with unasked for sympathy and your family walks around on their tip toes around you. For anyone who reads this to the end thank you. This Reddit is going to be an outlet for these feelings I’ve never released. This is the first time I’ve ever written this story down. For anyone who suffers from why one of these illnesses, you are loved and supported. Sympathy can be irritating. I understand what it’s like to want to date someone only to have everyone avoid you because of your past. If I could I would cuddle all of you. If you need someone to tell you to get your s**t together because everyone is too afraid to do so I will.
To anyone who is in an abusive relationship. Please reach out. You do not deserve this.
submitted by SecretKeepingKat to sexualassault [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 04:38 thisissadfml Secret sex with mom porn

Throwaway because I’m embarrassed and I don’t want to use my main account that has clues about who I am...just in case lol.
I’m almost 23. I’m really not trying to brag, and I promise I’m not conceited at all, but I feel like it’s relevant to mention that I’m very pretty. I got lucky in the looks department, so my dating struggles have nothing to do with my appearance. However, I have a million other problems. I’ve never even come close to having a boyfriend, and it’s no one’s fault but mine. Here are the main reasons:

  1. I basically completely isolated myself from the ages of 15-21, and now I'm doing it again. I struggle with extreme anxiety, and it got so bad my freshman year of high school that I opted for online school. I kept my friend group for a while, but eventually even hanging out with them became hard so we drifted apart until we lost all contact. When I graduated high school, I decided against college because I was still struggling so much. Then, I finally started college last year, and things were looking up....but that didn't even last a year before COVID hit. Now I've been stuck at home for almost a year. I'm back at square one.
  2. I'm way too picky, and I can't help but reject everyone who's interested in me. Despite being isolated, I've surprisingly been presented with a few opportunities to date people. My mom has tried setting me up with three guys (pathetically sad, I know), and I've tried to force myself to like them, but it just never works. I've never even made it past the texting phase before deciding I don't like them and making up a white lie to get rid of them. The closest I've come to dating someone is earlier this year when I met someone at school. I kind of liked him (although I think I was forcing it because I'm desperate), but then I decided he didn't live up to my standards. He asked me out and I made up a lie about "having a boyfriend". I blew it because I was too chicken to even give him a chance. People always tell me I need to "lower my standards if I want a boyfriend", but I just can't bring myself to. I've decided I'd rather be alone forever than settle.
  3. ^ On that note, I'm scared at this point. I've built a secretive wall around myself, and the thought of admitting I have no experience to someone absolutely terrifies me. I feel like I'm the only person my age with zero dating experience, and I'm so scared of judgement. Everyone just assumes I'm experienced because of the way I look and carry myself, so I know it would be shocking and probably a turn off to find out the truth. I want to finally have my first kiss, and I want to have sex and everything, but the reality is so so so scary. I know I'd have to admit it was my first time and it would be so embarrassing and awkward. I also feel like a 23 year old virgin who's never even kissed anyone would scare most guys off. Like for example, there was this really cute guy in one of my classes last year, and he would always stare and smile at me, but I was way too scared to even ATTEMPT to talk to him because the thought of him finding out I have no experience made me sick. Cute guys intimidate me way too much.
  4. Online dating is impossible for me. I've tried it multiple times, but all it does is make me sad. No matter what, I can't make myself like someone unless I meet them in person. They can be beautiful in pictures, but even then, I'm not attracted to them unless I meet them in real life and get a feel for their personality. Personalities and vibes are impossible to convey over text in my opinion. I get tons of matches when I go on Tinder, but they can't hold my attention. And on top of that, I'm too scared of COVID to go on real dates right now. And even before COVID, I'd always chicken out of meeting in person for the reasons I stated above.
I used to be really good at suppressing the sadness of not having a boyfriend - I told myself it would happen when the time was right and I felt more optimistic when I was in school - but now it's really starting to weigh on me. My older sister just got engaged and I cried for 6 hours because I feel like I'll never have that. And my younger brother (16), just told me he had his first kiss, and that also made me cry out of jealousy. I feel like time is flying by and I'm going to be a 40 year old virgin before I know it.
I'm ruining my own dating life and I need advice. :(
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2020.11.24 02:59 A-friendly-fellow Secret sex with mom porn

This one ended up getting away from me, leading to five pages worth of pitch. I feel it is both very fitting with the feel of Havenfall routes and nothing like any of the others at the same time.
...
Mona: I swear! I swear. Grace: I think you've been watching too many of those crappy documentaries. Mona: Look, it was shaped like a saucer and it was flying. What else could it have been. Grace: I dunno, a weather balloon? . Mona: It was definitely, positively not that.
Grace was meant to go to college but this mysterious scholarship that she's acquired somehow has taken most of her attention. Mona Starr, big sister, has tried to ask after this but Grace has been secretive about it. It's some kind of government-run, law... thing but that's all Mona can extract from her. Mona confesses to herself this secrecy has sent her imagination run amok, perhaps those low quality conspiracy theory documentaries she watches had more of an effect on her than she realised. Whatever it is Grace is excited about it and that is enough for Mona.
Dropping Grace off and a tearful farewell later Mona is driving back. It is getting dark and she has the radio on. Suddenly the truck splutters and stops. At first she rolls her eyes at the piece of junk yet again failing to go but then realise this is different. The sound, the feel, it's not like the other times.
She gets out of her truck and looks up. There's something in the darkening sky, a metallic saucer-like object hovering above. However before she can get a better look at it with her phone it vanishes. There it is again. Over the last few weeks she's been seeing those. . Soon after a car drives past and stops beside her. A person in a yellow jumpsuit steps out. As luck would have it they are a mechanic and offers to look at the truck. She accepts and it's soon apparent that it's not going anywhere. They can fix it but will need it to be towed to their shop. In the meantime they can give her a lift. They were on their way to Havenfall as it so happens and also they know someone who can bring it there later.
On the way back to Havenfall the two bond very quickly during their drive. One thing of note is that they never mention their name, no matter how Mona drives the conversation. Eventually there is a lull in the conversation where Mona is looking out of the window, watching the sky. The kind stranger notices this and points it out. Mona answers stating that she thought she saw something previously. Some encouragement does end up with her admitting she thought she saw a UFO and that she's had numerous sightings. At the mention of such the stranger goes quiet, etched in their expression a concerned frown. They pull over, stating there's someone they need to call, and with an awkward smile jumps out of the car. . Mona hears a name, one that she recognises. Razi, her boss at the place she works, the bowling alley. This is surprising but since they are heading that Havenfall, a small town, it's not unreasonable. Strange though, he never mentioned them at any point. . Just then Mona spies the flying saucer once again and hears the acquaintance of Razi curse under their breath.
Mona: Just what is going on? Who is this person?: You wouldn't believe me but... for whatever reason they seem mighty interested in you. Mona: They? Who's they? Who are you? Seriously, who is this person?: Moth... ahem... man. Mona: What? Mothman?: Yep. Hi, friendly neighbourhood Mothman at your service.
"Mothman" arrives in Havenfall and makes for the bowling alley, Mona's place of work. They attempt to bid her farewell but she wishes to know what is happening. In the alley she sees a group of individuals already assembled inside. The town's doctor and sheriff in addition to her friend JD and her boss. They all wear the same concerned expression as Mothman did at the mention of UFO's.
It is here Mona learns the truth. Who these people really are. Vampires, warewolves, djinns and even cryptids. It's enough to make any human's head spin. She also learns what these saucers are. They're surveillance drones. They've been spotted around the world monitoring it for an unknown purpose and sent by a race little known by even those clued into the hidden world. All anyone knows about them is they live underneath the earth at the center. Lately these machines have appeared en masse over Havenfall. At first Razi couldn't discern why, all he can deduce is that they're searching for something. That was why Mothman was headed to Havenfall, to figure that out. Razi had cast a ward to block transmissions to keep the town safe from whatever they're searching for. Then one of the saucers was found outside of it close to Mona, tailing her. That's what they were doing here. They were looking for her and they found her when she left with her sister. But why? No one can answer that.
They are dealing with such an unknown, anything could happen. The biggest fear that Razi expresses is that, now these underground dwellers know where Mona is they might try more hands-on tactics to take her and who knows what they will do to the town. Mona says this means she cannot stay in Havenfall as long as the saucers are active. She will be in danger but if she is seen leaving town then it will be safe. Mothman mentions they have somewhere to stay, somewhere safe from the saucers' radars. An old abandoned military base. . Mona packs some bags and the two lead the saucers away from Havenfall then, using Razi's magic, conceal themselves for the rest of the journey.
Over the course of the story Mona and Mothman hide out in a bunker at the military base, of which has been furbished to be very homely. The two quickly become close friends, at first Mothman is shy and distant but slowly opens up as they spend time together. It's not so much breaking the ice as it is slowly chipping away at it over time. Regardless that is what they, Mothman and Mona, do. At some point Mona gets her truck back and Mothman fixes it. They're so skilled in fact that the truck runs better than it's ever been.
Not just that though, the two investigate the creatures that control the drones and why they're interested in Mona. Their investigations bring her to discover the website of a well-funded group that have been keeping tabs on these creatures, going by the name of Frontline. Getting in touch with their socials she discovers the creatures do indeed reside in the center of the earth. They are a race almost identical in appearance to a human. They've been able to reverse-engineer and harness the technology found in the ancient civilization found at the earth's center, Agartha, and now call it home. Frontline calls these creatures Agarthans for reasons that should be obvious. They don't know what their end goal is or why they're after Mona but they know how one can reach Agartha. When a saucer rises from the ground it leaves an intricate indent in the ground, one might recognise them as a crop circle. Frontline has observed that saucers can only get back through the crop circles they leave behind. When they do the indent disappears. In order to enter Agartha, Frontline has been trying to capture a saucer with little luck. They're way too fast. . Mothman has the ability to interfere with electronics. It had gotten them into trouble in the past, interfering with the electronics of folks' cars as they drove by. Since then they were able to control it. Frontline agree to meet Mona and Mothman and work together. . Leading up to the meet up, near where a crop circle has formed closeby to the base, Mothman timidly approaches Mona. Their face is red.
Mothman: So... I need to tell you something. Mona: Yes? Are you OK? Mothman: I'll get back to you on that. I've been meaning to tell you for a while. I um... Mona: I'm listening. Mothman: ...Kinda... Mona: Go on. Mothman: ...Like... (Wait. Are they?) Mothman: ...You? (...) (Well, shit.)
So it is out. Very awkwardly but even so it is out. Mona never really considered them as anything more than a friend but mainly because it wasn't on the table. Now that it is she finds herself not averse to the idea. On the other hand they have a good friendship and to pursue this further may jeopardise it. She ends up discussing this directly to Mothman and they will be sure to not let this ruin what they have. The two agree to go slow and explore this avenue carefully, with a simple coffee date to start off with to see how things pan out.
First thing first though, there's work to do and the day to meet Frontline arrives. Under the cover of night Mona drives the two to the rendezvous point in her expertly repaired truck. Frontline is a small group, consisting of a ragtag crew of multicultural characters both young and old. It's difficult to imagine they're funded by anyone wealthy. Everyone is almost assembled, just one more joins them. . It's Grace. . The scholarship wasn't that at all, it was an invitation to join as a researcher of Frontline, monitoring the saucers. It is she who found out the connection between Agartha and the crop circles. Grace is equally shocked to see Mona, why is it she is targeted so?
A saucer flies overhead, directing everyone's attention, and heads towards the crop circle. It's time. Mothman sprouts shimmering wings, their eyes shine in the dark and they rush the machine. The crew and Mona trail behind preparing equipment to help catch the thing. In the end they pull it off to the crew's applause.
Later, Mona and Grace sit together apart from the group. They talk about what they have discovered only recently. Soon Grace makes mention of her developing feelings towards one member, the feisty green-eyed brunette named Gwen.
The crew may look ragtag but their equipment and connections are far from. They have the means to transport the large machine and agree to do so to the base. After that is done there is the matter of figuring out how the drone works. Mothman may be good but even they have limits, and require an extra brain to work on. They decide to call an old friend of theirs, one they haven't seen in a long time. She goes by the name Bigfoot.
Bigfoot says she'll arrive in a few days. In the downtime, Mona and Mothman go on that date they talked about. Holy hell, turns out Mothman is great. While Mona didn't initially have any feelings for them to start with she certainly has by the time the date is over. They speak of family, Mona who is still shaken by the death of their parents and how she had to effectively become Grace's mother. Mothman doesn't know who their parents are. They don't even really know what they are. To end of the date they share a chaste, somewhat awkward, but very sweet kiss.
With that they're officially dating. The announcement gives Grace enough courage to ask Gwen out soon after.
When Bigfoot arrives it's straight to business. She and Mothman get to work while Mona integrates herself into Frontline. Soon enough the two cryptids finish and the saucer is in their control. Over the next number of episodes we see their new piece of tech in action as well as the ancient city of Agartha in all its glory. Most importantly we learn of the plan the Agarthans have in store. A hostile global takeover to plant themselves as superior beings over the living and near-living. They plan to take America and use it as a staging place to expand across the world. This is according to what appears to be the leader.
To make a story that spans ten seasons short, Frontline, which our leads end up joining, works to thwart the plans of the Agarthans. An event proves Mona to become Fronline's leader and an agent working for the Agarthans is revealed, someone Mothman has history with. Another cryptid by the name of Manticore.
On the romance side of things, the relationship is a slow build with not much happening outside of holding hands. They've got a low libido but very tactile, meaning a big helping of cuddling but not so much in the way of sex. When the first sex scene does arrive they are very nervous, not wanting to mess up their first time. It's not spectacular but that doesn't matter to her.
Of particular note is that the Agarthans appear human. Occasionally however they sprout luminescent wings and their eyes shine in darkness. This solves the mystery of Mothman's origins, they are a Agarthan. . After this revelation Mothman wonders if it would be worthwhile entering Agartha directly. In reality they want to know about themself and their birthplace. Regardless it does seem a worthwhile endeavour.
More conflict happens as Frontline prepare to enter Agartha. Manticore destroys their commandeered machine meaning they need to find a different way inside. Manticore is defeated as Frontline and Havenfall's finest come together to fight him. The defeat leads to another revelation, to do with Mona's parents. They were monster hunters, their bedroom, which Mona has refused to enter until now, contains a secret room where they kept their weapons and other equipment. Of more note however are blueprints to what looks to be a portal or a door of some kind. This is specifically a door into Agartha, a permenant entrance and exit into the city without the need for saucers or crop circles. They were so close to finishing before their fate. The Admiral was aware of this since mom and dad sought to defeat her. This is why she followed Mona, in the hopes to find the entrance and prevent its creation. She killed Mona and Grace's parents. It's personal now.
With the help of Razi and his sister Roshni the sisters build the door, completing their parent's work, with some attempt to stop them from the Admiral, whom we interact with for the first time. The season ends with the arrival into Agartha.
There they find that not all Agarthans are hellbent on world domination. In fact, it turns out most of these creatures are otherwise peaceful. The saucers were merely to survey the surface world for harmless scientific reasons, that is until the admiral assassinated Agartha's president and took power. Now there is a resistance group to stop the admiral and her reign of terror. Frontline works with this resistance, the leader is named Ajanti, a neutrois. They're actually the admiral's sibling who feels great remorse for the loss of a dear sister of their's when she became mad with power. During moments of downtime Mona and Mothman explore the city.
When the climax arrives the forces of the admiral and the resistance clash. Mona leads Frontline, ironically enough, away from the frontline, to engage the admiral directly. The showdown with her reveals she knew Mothman's mother. She's alive somewhere in Agartha. Mona leads Frontline and a small detachment of Agarthan rebels. They defeat her, Mona and Grace dealing the final blow and winning the war, placing Ajanti as the president. Their first act is to halt all moves to take the surface world.
With that done Mona expects Mothman would want to search for their mother, but no. Perhaps one day but they prefer, at least for the moment, to look to the future. They and Mona's future, cue lowering to one knee.
Frontline travels back to the surface world for wedding preparations.
Season Ten tends to be distant from the main story, occurring after a time skip of about ten years. This season has the married couple returning to Agartha in search of Mothman's mother.
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2020.11.24 01:26 Dominic-McClintock Secret sex with mom porn

Introduction
Hello my name is Dominic. I am a Christian who has the desire to break free from pornography, masturbation, and all sexual immorality.
I grew up in a Christian home and went to church every Sunday, Wednesday, and other events. At age 5 I had my first sexual encounter with other neighbor hood children. I was addicted to sex from age five and has a secret masturbation addiction all my life. It didn’t get better. I went to the adult video stores just as a child running into the back black curtain area and my mom taking me out.
I fantasized about all girls starting at age 8 and my 3rd grade teacher even. Vivid sexual fantasy that never ever leaves me until to this day as an adult. I’m on my let 30’s now.
Back to Junior High, I went to a Christian school yet met other students my age (7th 8th grade) who were even more open and doing and saying things and joking about it. I thought other Christian boys were like me or worse. I knew there were genuine Christian boys and girls too.
High school, I lost my virginity and after 2 1/2 years the break up crushed me.
I made a effort to seek God while in the military. God let me know I was forgiven. I gain 4 months of sexual sobriety where there no sex with self (maturbation) and no pornography.
One day I fell again. And the secret shame began all over again. I was not able to overcome. I visited prostitutes. I went to massage parlors. I saw the sickest kinds a person could imagine.
It was still enough for all my sick sexual addiction.
I never had anyone to talk to about this until now. Now and today with God, with Jesus Christ, I have not looked at pornography, masturbation, or any other sexual immorality for over four years. It is still not enough to be externally ok but inwardly not ok. By not ok, I mean it’s possible for me to still look or think about another women, who is not my wife, and still lust and still break the command of Jesus in Matthew 5:27-30
““You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye —causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand—even your stronger hand —causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:27-30‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/mat.5.27-30.nlt
And the wrong way of life here
“Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭6:9-11‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/1co.6.9-11.nlt
So I am still hopeless on my own. But if Jesus Christ has set me free then I am free indeed.
“So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” ‭‭John‬ ‭8:36‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/jhn.8.36.nl
And again here
“Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus. Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace. Well then, since God’s grace has set us free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning? Of course not! Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living. Because of the weakness of your human nature, I am using the illustration of slavery to help you understand all this. Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy. When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right. And what was the result? You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭6:1-23‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/rom.6.1-23.nlt
I am not here to brag how many days of “sexual sobriety” and I am not here to make anyone feel like “I’m holy” and “your a sinner” no. The enemy who is the Devil and his fallen angels will try to put thoughts into your mind to try and convince you that “these Christian are liars, fake, too harsh, judgment, etc, etc.”
The Enemy the Devil used scripture when Jesus fasted 40 days in the desert and the Lord Jesus Christ used the Word of God to defeat the Devil.
With God, you and I can defeat the Devil, the fallen angels, and those who are deceived by the Devil. Remember, we were once like them too. Paul before he became a believer in Christ did fight, hate the church of Jesus Christ, but God got a hold of Saul who He renamed to Paul and Paul became one of the greatest preachers and evangelists ever.
So this is where I am writing to you, anyone who is listening to this right now.
Even, though I struggle with my sins, my character defects, my intrusive thought, my irrational fears, and so much more (anger,fear, lust) I know that God is real and alive and truly has real power and real love to show you ....if you truly seek God and if you truly let God into your heart.
God wants to clean you up, as He has already cleaned up many other former drug addicts and prostitutes.
“To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons. “A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything. “When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’ “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. ’ “But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began. “Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, and he asked one of the servants what was going on. ‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’ “The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’ “His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭15:11-32‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/luk.15.11-32.nlt
““Which of the two obeyed his father?” They replied, “The first.” Then Jesus explained his meaning: “I tell you the truth, corrupt tax collectors and prostitutes will get into the Kingdom of God before you do. For John the Baptist came and showed you the right way to live, but you didn’t believe him, while tax collectors and prostitutes did. And even when you saw this happening, you refused to believe him and repent of your sins.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭21:31-32‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/mat.21.31-32.nlt
If anyone has secret shame and sins and wants to be free, please go to Jesus Christ in prayer, and plead with Him
“But the other criminal protested, “Don’t you fear God even when you have been sentenced to die? We deserve to die for our crimes, but this man hasn’t done anything wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.”” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭23:40-43‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/luk.23.40-43.nlt
Kind regards, Dominic McClintock
https://www.reddit.com/MensRecoveryGroup/
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2020.11.24 01:06 Dominic-McClintock Secret sex with mom porn

Hello my name is Dominic. I am a Christian who has the desire to break free from pornography, masturbation, and all sexual immorality.
I grew up in a Christian home and went to church every Sunday, Wednesday, and other events. At age 5 I had my first sexual encounter with other neighbor hood children. I was addicted to sex from age five and has a secret masturbation addiction all my life. It didn’t get better. I went to the adult video stores just as a child running into the back black curtain area and my mom taking me out.
I fantasized about all girls starting at age 8 and my 3rd grade teacher even. Vivid sexual fantasy that never ever leaves me until to this day as an adult. I’m on my let 30’s now.
Back to Junior High, I went to a Christian school yet met other students my age (7th 8th grade) who were even more open and doing and saying things and joking about it. I thought other Christian boys were like me or worse. I knew there were genuine Christian boys and girls too.
High school, I lost my virginity and after 2 1/2 years the break up crushed me.
I made a effort to seek God while in the military. God let me know I was forgiven. I gain 4 months of sexual sobriety where there no sex with self (maturbation) and no pornography.
One day I fell again. And the secret shame began all over again. I was not able to overcome. I visited prostitutes. I went to massage parlors. I saw the sickest kinds a person could imagine.
It was still enough for all my sick sexual addiction.
I never had anyone to talk to about this until now. Now and today with God, with Jesus Christ, I have not looked at pornography, masturbation, or any other sexual immorality for over four years. It is still not enough to be externally ok but inwardly not ok. By not ok, I mean it’s possible for me to still look or think about another women, who is not my wife, and still lust and still break the command of Jesus in Matthew 5:27-30
““You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye —causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand—even your stronger hand —causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:27-30‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/mat.5.27-30.nlt
And the wrong way of life here
“Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭6:9-11‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/1co.6.9-11.nlt
So I am still hopeless on my own. But if Jesus Christ has set me free then I am free indeed.
“So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” ‭‭John‬ ‭8:36‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/jhn.8.36.nl
And again here
“Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus. Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace. Well then, since God’s grace has set us free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning? Of course not! Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living. Because of the weakness of your human nature, I am using the illustration of slavery to help you understand all this. Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy. When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right. And what was the result? You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭6:1-23‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/rom.6.1-23.nlt
I am not here to brag how many days of “sexual sobriety” and I am not here to make anyone feel like “I’m holy” and “your a sinner” no. The enemy who is the Devil and his fallen angels will try to put thoughts into your mind to try and convince you that “these Christian are liars, fake, too harsh, judgment, etc, etc.”
The Enemy the Devil used scripture when Jesus fasted 40 days in the desert and the Lord Jesus Christ used the Word of God to defeat the Devil.
With God, you and I can defeat the Devil, the fallen angels, and those who are deceived by the Devil. Remember, we were once like them too. Paul before he became a believer in Christ did fight, hate the church of Jesus Christ, but God got a hold of Saul who He renamed to Paul and Paul became one of the greatest preachers and evangelists ever.
So this is where I am writing to you, anyone who is listening to this right now.
Even, though I struggle with my sins, my character defects, my intrusive thought, my irrational fears, and so much more (anger,fear, lust) I know that God is real and alive and truly has real power and real love to show you ....if you truly seek God and if you truly let God into your heart.
God wants to clean you up, as He has already cleaned up many other former drug addicts and prostitutes.
“To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons. “A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything. “When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’ “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. ’ “But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began. “Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, and he asked one of the servants what was going on. ‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’ “The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’ “His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭15:11-32‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/luk.15.11-32.nlt
““Which of the two obeyed his father?” They replied, “The first.” Then Jesus explained his meaning: “I tell you the truth, corrupt tax collectors and prostitutes will get into the Kingdom of God before you do. For John the Baptist came and showed you the right way to live, but you didn’t believe him, while tax collectors and prostitutes did. And even when you saw this happening, you refused to believe him and repent of your sins.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭21:31-32‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/mat.21.31-32.nlt
If anyone has secret shame and sins and wants to be free, please go to Jesus Christ in prayer, and plead with Him
“But the other criminal protested, “Don’t you fear God even when you have been sentenced to die? We deserve to die for our crimes, but this man hasn’t done anything wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.”” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭23:40-43‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://www.bible.com/116/luk.23.40-43.nlt
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2020.11.23 21:07 Paulinha1976 Secret sex with mom porn

BLTheoristNancy and Anfredy came up with a fascinating theory where Katarina's consciousness was somehow transferred to imposter Red 30 years ago (a Travellers meets TBL plot). While I am a Rederina fan, I wouldn't have a problem with this theory being the twist ending either. In a sense, Katarina and Red now "share a soul", if this is true. Well, within that conversation I posed a question that I'd love to hear all of your opinions on.
What if Katarina's consciousness was somehow transmitted to whoever this RR is, and the shell that remained was Lailarina? In that case she is the "real" KR, but minus the consciousness that made her who she was. That "consciousness" is inside of this Raymond Reddington. I think he retains his memories and his self, but KR "takes over" in the form of her love for Liz and for Dom....That's a very "sci-fi" twist, but one I would be down with as it allows for Red to in essence be Katarina, while explaining KR's coldness. It also explains why in the first season RR said that the answer to Liz's questions (did he know her mom, was he her dad, etc..) wasn't so simple to answer.
Also, what if they implanted part of KR's consciousness into Liz?!? What if that's why the "secret" can't get out, as it would then make Liz a hunted woman? What if that's why Red built the criminal empire and is leaving it for Liz? What if that's why he called this her destiny? What if that's why, when she was being chased for murdering Connolly and Red said that KR was the smartest spy he knew, in that moment, Liz conceived of the idea to run to the Russian embassy? What if it was a "trigger" of sorts for the "Katarina gene" to kick in?
While I personally think this ends with Rederina (as in plastic surgery), this would be another "Rederina ending" minus the sex change operation, and in a much more "sci-fi" manner. It also explains lots of the "ambiguous" language many have a problem with when it comes to Rederina. It may explain Dom's stance, his "dance" with Red. Where, his daughter is "there" and yet, she is not. It would allow for Red's having another family... anyways.. what are your thoughts?!?!?

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