2020.11.29 20:10 mialbowy Dyke the Halls [1 of 2]
Note: This is different to what I usually post, so I just wanted to give it some context. Rather than a story, this is more of a plot outline for a movie. Because it’s an outline, it moves quickly and glosses over details; because it’s for a movie, there’s a lot of moments where I try to describe an overly specific visual and use the narrative like a camera to focus on certain things.
The genre of the “movie” is a romcom with more of a focus on the (cringe) comedy and a side of romance—similar to There’s Something About Mary and Meet The Parents / Fockers—and an age rating on the border of PG and R (so probably R before some parts are cut or reworked). As an American-stylized film, any nudity or sexual acts would be censored through creative camera angles or otherwise implied without being shown. I see it as the sort of movie a couple might go see on a date, or that parents would unknowingly put on at Christmas and make their teen / young adult children very uncomfortable at certain points.
As a last note, I imagine that this movie comes from the studio who brought you such (imaginary) classics as “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Clause”.
Dyke The Halls Clarice (Rissy to her best friend and roommate Nelly) has her life all planned out: she’ll finish university, intern at a big bank, find a husband, and then “retire” to write obscure books that no one would ever want to read. She doesn’t think that’s too much to ask for, very flexible about everything else.
However, that future she dreams of gets turned upside down on the night of her twenty-first birthday (early September).
Against Nelly’s advice, Clarice takes up an offer from the quarterback of their college football team to go to a nightclub. Nelly drives her there anyway, waiting in the car while Clarice meets up with him and goes in. However, he leaves when she turns down his further advances. Since she’s already there, she has a few drinks and makes her way to the dancefloor.
Although a bit awkward at first, she gets the hang of it soon enough and, eventually, finds someone she likes dancing with. To her, the stranger is some kind of emo / goth / punk guy: fairly slender, dark black hair that’s short but a little grown out, dressed in tight black jeans and a black shirt; she can’t make out much of their face (bad lighting and her drinks are catching up with her), but there’s at least some eyeliner going on.
Well, she gets carried away with the dancing, both of them getting handsy, ending with a kiss. Not quite wanting it to end there, she asks, “Is there maybe room for me in your bed tonight?”
And the person chuckles, handing her something like a business card. “Text me when you’re sober.”
Clarice is disappointed, but takes it in stride and settles for another kiss for now.
A text then finally puts an end to things, Nelly checking if Clarice is okay, which Clarice takes as her cue to leave. And so Nelly is treated to Clarice gushing over her encounter with the stranger for the entire ride back to the dorms. While Nelly questions how this person fits into Clarice’s life plan, Clarice replies that, “It’s not like I’m going to fall in love and marry him.”
When morning comes, she’s giddy despite the minor hangover (she mumbles a thanks to Nelly for making her drink a big glass of water before going to bed) and, after a quick stop in the bathroom, she digs through her purse for the “business” card.
Only, once she finds it, it’s like someone dumped a bucket of cold water over her. Nelly was watching on with amusement, but the sudden change in Clarice’s mood worries her, so she asks what’s wrong.
Clarice simply shows Nelly the card; Nelly takes a couple of seconds to spot the “problem”, at which point she bursts into laughter. “Felicity’s a bit of a strange name for a guy,” she says, not at all helping Clarice’s mood. Once Nelly calms down, she carries on. “So what’s the problem?”
It takes Clarice a moment to find the right words. “It’s like, that’s the kind of guy I like, but not the kind of woman I like.”
Nelly rolls her eyes. “Seriously? Come on.”
Clarice scowls at her before sinking back into a depressed expression with a long sigh. “I guess… I can give her a chance,” Clarice mumbles, then speaks almost angrily as she says, “‘Felicity’ really doesn’t suit her.”
Nelly laughs at that, but says no more on it.
Despite Clarice’s initial shock, she quickly warms up to Felicity as they arrange a date over text (Nelly treated to giggles and smiles as Clarice stares at her phone). It turns out Felicity attends the same university, so they plan to meet up at the campus coffee shop this afternoon (not that far away, Clarice having slept through most of the morning).
After a quick lunch and a brief fashion show, Nelly recommends Clarice simply wears jeans and a pale blue shirt (“It’s just a coffee date, y’know?”). Clarice ignores her and goes for a pretty outfit: pink skirt, white blouse, cardigan, strappy sandals. Nelly warns her that summer has already ended, especially so far north, but her warnings are waved off. (“We’ll be inside anyway.”)
However, Clarice regrets her choice of outfit as soon as she leaves the dorms, but is too prideful to even go back for a coat. Walking as fast as she can, she crosses the campus to the coffee shop. She was going to order a coffee to warm herself up, but a fairly familiar Felicity catches her attention—and Felicity notices her too, striding over.
Before Clarice can even greet her, Felicity has taken off her leather jacket, carefully draping it over Clarice’s shoulders. And Clarice freezes up, so off-balance from the kind gesture. The gentle tone Felicity then uses to ask if she’s cold and how Felicity orders her a hot chocolate (pausing to ask her if she likes hot chocolates; she nods) only makes Clarice’s feelings more complicated.
They sit down with their drinks and Felicity gets to work breaking the ice, introducing herself. Most people call her Flick (Clarice thinks that suits her a lot more than Felicity) and she says she’s majoring in fashion. That surprises Clarice and she can’t hide it, Flick saying, “Surprised?” Clarice shakes her head, but Flick just chuckles and admits she was lying: she’s actually majoring in architecture with a minor in photography—the “business” card advertising her photography services.
From there, they chat a bit about university life, eventually touching on dating and relationships. Flick takes that topic right into a, “Are you interested in me?”
It’s sudden, but Clarice thinks it over for a second before nodding. “Are you?”
Flick breaks into a small smirk, and she nods. “Yeah, I am.”
After an awkward moment of avoiding each other’s gaze, their eyes meet and they laugh; both of them slowly reach over until their hands meet, giving a small squeeze. Flick then picks up the topic from before and brings it to sexuality and their sexual identities; Flick prefers the term dyke, while Clarice hesitantly admits she’s bi, relieved that that isn’t an issue to Flick.
From there, they touch on some of the issues they’ve had dating—notably, Flick has had problems with certain expectations because of her more butch appearance—and Clarice finishes by telling Flick what she told Nelly: she isn’t looking for a serious, long-term relationship. Flick jokes a bit, but agrees that they’ll see where it goes.
Cut to three months later. It’s early on a Friday morning in early December, Clarice and Flick lying naked in bed together, snuggled up. The room is tidy but for their clothes strewn across the floor, On the desk is: a laptop, printed photographs of Clarice posing in lingerie, an issue of the college newspaper, as well as wrapping paper and a book titled “The Adventures of Princesses Mary and Ann”.
Their peaceful slumber is disturbed by Clarice’s phone going off—the first time gets them stirring, but Clarice only sits up to find it after the second message comes in. While Clarice fiddles with her phone, Flick trails kisses up her back, coming all the way to her neck, at which point Clarice reaches up to push her away. “It’s my mom,” she mumbles.
“Checking if we’ve left yet?” Flick asks, resting her head against the back of Clarice’s shoulder.
Clarice takes a while to respond, her face showing complicated expressions. Her brother’s partner is coming for the early Christmas celebration her family is having, so her mother has asked if Flick wants to stay too (it’s a long drive for Flick just to pick up Clarice again a couple of days later). Clarice has an awkward back and forth with Flick over this where she eventually confesses that her parents assumed Flick was male and (since it’s not a serious relationship) she never corrected them, not to mention she hasn’t come out as bi to them.
Rather than annoyed or offended, Flick is just greatly amused by all this, laughing as she hugs Clarice. Flick ultimately says it’s up to Clarice to decide what’s best for her since it’s her family they’re talking about.
As a joke, Clarice asks Flick to pretend to be her boyfriend for the weekend, only for Flick to agree before she can say she was joking. Clarice double-checks if Flick is serious, and Flick says she is—but she also thinks there’s no way it’ll work and is agreeing mostly because she thinks it’ll be hilarious (and a little because she wants to meet Clarice’s family and spend more time with her).
Clarice struggles to come to a decision, but eventually decides to go ahead with it.
Cue a car trip montage as they travel through a couple of states to get to Clarice’s home, making it there just as the sun’s setting (which happens to be just in time for dinner, regardless of what time the sun actually sets and what time dinner is usually eaten).
Clarice has Flick stop the car around the corner. Flick is dressed in a more city outfit than her usual clothes: blue jeans, buttoned shirt with long sleeves (the cuffs rolled halfway up her forearms. Clarice fiddles with Flick’s hair and puts on some makeup that’s supposed to look like five o’clock shadow. For good measure, she gives Flick a kiss too and thanks her for doing this. In reply, Flick gives her a kiss and repeats that she thinks this is going to be a hilarious mess. The two share a chuckle / giggle, then Flick starts the car again, pulling up into the driveway, lit by the blinking Christmas decorations covering the front yard and house.
When they get out, Flick looks at the house and lets out a low whistle. Clarice asks if something’s wrong, and Flick asks if her family’s rich, Clarice asks why, Flick says the house is huge. Clarice doesn’t understand—all the small family houses in these parts are three storeys tall (with a loft conversion on top), four bedrooms and two guest rooms, multiple bathrooms, basement, and a back garden that’s just about big enough for a full-sized football pitch. Flick doesn’t say anything more about it.
So they get to the front door, Clarice having a last-minute meeting after pressing the doorbell, Flick nodding along with a serious expression. Just as Clarice finishes, the door swings open to reveal her parents and grandmother. She puts on a smile and awkwardly introduces Flick (her boyfriend) to them.
They’re all very sweet and welcoming: her mother, “Please call me Karen,” father, “Steve—like Captain America. You’ve seen those movies, right?” and grandmother, “Just call me Grandma—I forget what my name is these days.” Karen follows up with a, “She’s told us so much about you,” and Grandma chimes in with, “Didn’t mention you were such a stud.” Karen awkwardly laughs off Grandma’s comment and invites them inside.
As they’re coming in, Steve pulls Flick to the side (Clarice hovering nearby as Karen says to give them a minute). Steve then says, “I know I look like a nice guy, but that’s because my little princess is here. If you hurt her, she’s not going to be there to stop me, understand?”
Flick looks him up and down—glasses, thinning hair, beer belly, no hint of muscle—and holds back her smirk. “Yes, sir,” she says.
Steve gives her a last, hard look, and then bursts into a grin, giving her a heavy pat on the back. “I’ve always wanted to try that.” Turning around, he asks Karen, “How did I do, sweetie?”
Karen puts on a polite smile, definitely not at all condescending. “You did great, honeybuns.”
Clarice rolls her eyes.
Steve turns back to Flick and says, “Let me show you my gun collection,” as he starts walking to the basement door.
“D’you hunt?” Flick asks, following him.
“They’re nerf guns! He’s too scared to even touch the real thing! And what about our bags?” Clarice shouts after them, then shakes her head.
While Flick and Steve go into the basement, Karen says the bags can go up later and invites Clarice to the kitchen to help with dinner. Clarice agrees, but soon regrets it as Karen asks where she met Flick and similar questions, Clarice stumbling over her answers, repeatedly calling Flick “she” and correcting herself.
Clarice is soon saved by the family dog coming in from the garden: a Jack Russel Terrier, called Kennedy. While she fawns over him, Karen says he was probably flirting with the new dog next door. So Clarice asks him if he was seeing his girlfriend. Karen gives an awkward cough-laugh and then corrects her: the dog next is also male.
The room falls into an awkward silence until the sound of the basement door opening cuts through, along with Flick and Steve chatting. Clarice excuses herself, saying they (her and Flick) will go and put their bags up now.
So Clarice goes through and grabs Flick, leading her to the bags, making a comment how she hopes Steve behaved himself. Flick chuckles, says she’s impressed by his gun collection—Steve puffs up his chest, says he’s glad someone finally appreciates the beauty of the second amendment.
Clarice rolls her eyes as she grabs her suitcase, only for Flick to hold the handle too. “Let me carry them up,” she says.
Clarice looks unconvinced, her expression saying, “Really?”
Flick slips into a smirk. “Gotta make a good impression as your boyfriend, right?”
Clarice crumbles, reluctantly letting go, at which point Flick hoists the suitcase up with no sign of strain, holding it under her arm. Still feeling bad about it, Clarice hurriedly picks up Flick’s bag (a lighter gym / duffel bag). She then quickly starts walking before Flick can say anything, telling Flick to follow her. Flick chuckles as she starts following Clarice.
The two go upstairs and into one of the rooms there—the door has a fancy, self-made nameplate, complete with artistic handwriting and glitter and a not-so-subtle bisexual pride color scheme.
The bedroom itself is large with a full-on King-sized bed, study desk, and every other piece of bedroom furniture imaginable, while also having plenty of room to move around and a broad window with an idyllic view. Flick takes a look around and asks again if Clarice’s family is rich; Clarice again denies it while opening the door to a comically large walk-in closet that appears to be the size of a long hallway.
While Clarice changes into some fresh clothes, Flick opens her sports bag. Because of the sudden change of plans this morning, the bag’s a mess, crumpled clothes and a box of tampons showing, as well as (what looks like) a belt of some kind. Clarice asks Flick to get something from her suitcase, so Flick just takes out a can of deodorant and leaves her own bag not zipped up.
While Flick hands over the thing to Clarice, she asks about Clarice’s grandfather—if he has passed away. Clarice laughs and says that he hates Christmas, so they send him to a resort in Vegas for a month. Flick finds this more bizarre than funny, her expression showing that.
Cut to an indeterminate time later, Clarice is all dolled up in a pretty dress (something more on the cute side than sexy). Flick takes a moment to appreciate the outfit until Karen calls out that dinner’s ready. They leave the bedroom, making their way downstairs.
The dining room is, like every other room, large and quaintly decorated. There’s only the five of them too, so the table seems hugely spacious as they’re all crammed up at one end: Karen and Steve on one side, Clarice and Flick opposite, Grandma at the end of the table. Similarly, the quantity of food is over-the-top; when Clarice and Flick come in, Clarice looks at the food with surprise, then looks at Karen, to which Karen shyly shrugs and says, “You know how much young men eat.”
Flick laughs at that, but Clarice looks worried. Regardless, they join the others at the table. While everyone tries to fill Flick’s plate with comments like, “You have to try this,” Clarice tries to intervene, ultimately ending up with a plate that’s even more full than Flick’s. Karen makes a joke about “eating for two”, but Clarice quickly insists that that’s not possible, realizing a moment later that that would be suspicious, so awkwardly adds on that, “We’re very safe.”
Flick quickly follows up with, “We even wear shin guards,” which breaks up the atmosphere as everyone laughs. Once they all calm down and start eating, Clarice leans over and whispers a thank, to which Flick says, “Should I tell them about our safe word too?”
Caught entirely by surprise, Clarice chokes, prompting everyone to look at her. She waves them off, trying to gesture that she was okay, and then taking a big drink of water.
“Is that a red, then?” Flick whispers, really emphasizing “red”.
Clarice chokes again.
Once everything settles down, she elbows Flick and calls her a bitch under her breath. Flick takes it in stride, whispering, “Specifically, your bitch.” Clarice can’t help but laugh this time, prompting Karen to sigh and say to Steve, “Ah, young love.” Clarice back in embarrassed territory, she forbids Flick from any more flirting.
Before Flick can give a reply, there’s a series of thuds coming from another room. Everyone looks at each other (Steve seemingly counting everyone on his fingers) until Clarice says, “It’s probably just Kennedy.” A moment later, she’s proven right as he shuffles into the room, butt first. Clarice turns back to the table to say, “See?”
However, she’s met by a very strange expression on Karen’s and Steve’s face, and they awkwardly look away. Before she can ask why, Flick clears her throat and, when Clarice looks at her, she gestures back to the doorway behind them.
Clarice finally looks back at Kennedy, and her face falls right down as she sees what Kennedy brought downstairs: a strap-on from Flick’s bag. For an incredibly long second, she just stares, then jumps to her feet to take it away from Kennedy, hiding it behind her back as she faces everyone at the table again. Although trying to smile, it keeps morphing into an embarrassed wince, and she keeps going to speak only to change her mind at the last second.
Eventually, she gives a nervous laugh and then says, “This is… mine.”
There’s a long moment of silence, then Grandma says to Flick, “She takes after me.”
Flick loses it, laughing into her elbow as she turns to the side; the others are still silent, awkward expressions. After a few seconds, Clarice starts shuffling back as she says, “I’ll just… put this back.”
Without any remorse for leaving Flick there, she runs upstairs. Meanwhile, Flick goes back to eating, Grandma doing the same right after, and Karen and Steve do the same after giving Flick a last confused look.
(The dog is around in future scenes, but isn’t the focus of anything else that happens.)
When Clarice returns, she silently sits down… and is confronted by the mountain of food still to eat. She gives it a pained look before digging in. Time skips forward, everyone else finished eating except for Clarice; her plate has moved to between her and Flick, and Flick is helping her.
Somehow, they finish the last of it, Clarice practically heaving, cradling her bloated stomach. However, when Karen stands up to clear the table, Clarice forces herself up and offers to do it; Flick helps her without asking or saying, the two of them carrying needlessly tall stacks of plates through to the kitchen. There, Clarice starts running the taps to wash the plates, and Grandma comes through, telling Flick to, “Let this old lady get some work in while she still can.” Flick reluctantly gives in after Clarice gives her a look that says it’s fine.
Alone with Grandma, the two start washing up. After a couple of easy questions, Grandma says, “About Flick.”
“What about her—him?” Clarice says, again stumbling over the gender.
Grandma puts on an almost intense expression, apparently thinking hard. “Is he… DTF? No, FTM.”
Clarice almost drops the plate she’s holding, eyes wide and mouth like a goldfish’s as she doesn’t know what to say. “Sorry, what are you asking?” she awkwardly says.
Grandma lets out a big sigh. “Trans, dear. Is he trans? It’s just, these old eyes didn’t see any jingle bells or a candy cane.”
Clarice awkwardly laughs, dragging it out as she desperately thinks over what she can possibly say to that. She eventually decides on simply chastising Grandma for looking at Flick’s crotch (in a less direct manner).
“I just worry you’re not being satisfied, that’s all. If you’re going to marry someone, start a family, and slowly come to resent them, then at least the angry sex should be good,” Grandma replies.
Clarice can only bow her head and mutter, “I’m… being satisfied.”
“That’s all good, then,” Grandma says.
Cut to the lounge a couple of minutes later, Clarice comes through with Grandma, the others sitting around and talking. Karen says they were just talking about Flick’s courses at university and that it sounds interesting and they’d like to see some of Flick’s photography. Clarice, knowing what kind of photos Flick likes taking, forces a smile and tries to move the topic to architecture.
Rather than that, Karen asks Flick how they met. Of course, Flick honestly says at a nightclub—Clarice had earlier told Karen at the library. Clarice immediately turns to Flick with a look of, “Don’t say another word,” before turning back to her parents and letting out an awkward laugh. “I saw her—I mean him, I saw him at the library and we, um, then I bumped into him when Nelly dragged me to a nightclub. For my birthday. She said it would be a waste not to, so we had one drink and drove home. I mean, I had a drink—she obviously didn’t since she was driving. And we bumped into him there.”
There’s a long pause after she finishes before Flick clears her throat and then says, “A very romantic meeting.” That breaks the tension, everyone letting out a laugh; relieved, Clarice reaches over to hold Flick’s hand, giving it a squeeze.
Cut to some time later, TV on in the background, Steve lets out a yawn and Karen comments on the time. Grandma excuses herself first, citing her age, and Steve says we (him and Karen) should be on their way too. Once those three leave the room, Clarice lets out a sigh, deflating against Flick. Flick wraps an arm around her, other hand coming over to stroke the top of her head.
“Tired?” Flick asks.
“Like a bicycle.”
Flick laughs and leans over, leaving a light kiss on Clarice’s head. In an unspoken agreement, they stand up and head to Clarice’s bedroom. She goes ahead to the bed, crashing onto it, and then turns her head to warn Flick that her father installed all the locks in the house and they’re upside down. Flick doesn’t understand at first, so Clarice clarifies that, rather than the expected clockwise-to-lock, it’s anti-clockwise. Flick still doesn’t entirely get it, so she fiddles with the door for a moment, quickly understanding.
“That’s really weird,” she says.
Clarice laughs and says, “Yup,” adding on that you get used to it eventually.
Once Flick makes sure the door is actually locked, she comes over and sits down next to Clarice (sitting down heavily enough to lightly trampoline Clarice). She then resumes petting duties, stroking Clarice’s head.
After a bit of that, Clarice rolls over and pulls Flick down on top of her (at a bit of an angle, not flush on top). They then start a whispered conversation.
Clarice starts by apologizing for Steve, saying she hopes he wasn’t too much. Flick says she didn’t mind, but Clarice doubles down, mentioning that Flick’s like the son he never had. After a brief pause, a confused Flick says, “Don’t you have an older brother?”
Clarice’s face scrunches up. “I mean, my dad wanted the movie son—playing catch in the garden and little league and fiddling with car engines. But Richard grew up on games consoles and the PC.”
Flick thinks for a moment and then asks about Clarice’s sister’s husband (the brother-in-law). Clarice makes another complicated expression. Not sure what to say, she just says that it was a bit of a rushed wedding (Flick chuckles) and that BIL isn’t really what Steve is looking for.
Flick finishes that conversation with a, “But I am?”
Clarice giggles, but confirms that, “You saw, right? My dad would be very happy with you as his son-in-law.”
While those words fade into silence, Flick checks with Clarice if they really are going to continue pretending she’s a guy. Clarice squeezes her tightly and mutters, “It’s just easier for everyone this way.”
Flick shows a somber expression, but says nothing, squeezing Clarice back.
Fade to black and cut to the morning. Breakfast is just finishing up, Karen taking the plates through while Steve sits there with a newspaper and Grandma is knitting a scarf (not very well, more of a bird’s nest). The doorbell rings and so Clarice stands up, saying she’ll get it, and Flick tags along. On the way, Clarice says it should be her brother, Richard.
True enough, when she opens the door, Richard is there with his partner. Only, it’s a man. Clarice is surprised and Richard picks up on it, asking if something is wrong. Clarice laughs to cover her awkwardness and then quietly asks if the man is his boyfriend. Richard sort of clicks his tongue and gives her a what-are-you-talking-about look. Covering her tracks, Clarice says, “I mean, obviously I knew you were gay all along, I just didn’t know you’d come out to mom and dad.”
Richard laughs and says, “They’re the ones who introduced us,” before learning in and whispering, “Same with my last boyfriend.”
Clarice offers a weak smile and transitions into greeting Richard’s boyfriend, Peter. Peter is a well-groomed, normal-looking guy that could be found in any office place. Clarice then introduces her “boyfriend”, Flick. Richard gives Flick a good look. “He’s cute,” Richard says, then says to Flick, “If things don’t work out with her, I know a few guys who’d be interested.”
Flick chuckles and thanks him, but declines and says, “I’m not interested in guys.”
“Lucky you—I wouldn’t be if I had the choice,” Richard says, sparing Peter an unimpressed look.
Peter gives Richard a flirty slap on the waist with the back of his hand in a “stop it, you’re terrible” gesture; he says to Richard, “Really?”
They all have a short laugh over that, then Steve calls through, asking what’s taking so long. So they all file in and greet Karen, Steve, and Grandma. Karen and Steve ask after Peter’s parents, while Grandma asks Richard a vaguely inappropriate question (along the lines of the “Are you satisfied?” she asked Clarice), which Richard answers without hesitation. Clarice and Flick are left out for a bit, but Richard soon brings Peter over, eager to get to know the “guy who finally nailed down my sister” (with a noticeable emphasis on nailed).
Somewhat offended, somewhat embarrassed, Clarice asks what exactly he meas by that. Richard laughs it off and says it’s just that she’s never brought a boy home before. Clarice responds by saying that it’s not like Flick’s the first person she’s dated, just that she’s been more focused on studying than getting in a serious relationship.
Richard takes that comment straight to Flick. “Hear that? She likes you more than her GPA.” Although Clarice isn’t impressed by this interpretation of what she said, Flick breaks into laughter, taking it as the highest compliment.
Despite Richards joking, the conversation goes in the direction he initially said as he asks Flick questions. “What’s Flick short for?” “Felix,” Clarice hastily says. When it comes to Flick’s courses, Richard and Peter both show interest in photography, commenting that a few of their friends are photographers—Richard adding that some are professionals, and the others get paid more; Peter laughs at the joke, Flick and Clarice offering a polite chuckle.
Flick mentions she has her laptop with her, so Richard and Peter encourage her to show them some of her work. Clarice is reluctant, but understands that two gay men should see Flick’s photos as purely artistic. So, when Flick looks at her with a “Can I?” expression, she nods.
While Flick goes upstairs, Richard takes the conversation to a more personal level. “You’re happy with him?” “He treats you well?” Clarice is suitably bashful in her affirmations, very much appearing the maiden-in-love, and Richard smiles, congratulating her. After she thanks him, he sneaks in a last curveball: “So, do you think he’s the one?”
With perfect timing, Flick comes back before Clarice can answer, but she’s suitably thrown by the question and in a bit of a daze as Flick puts her laptop on the coffee table and opens it up. This quickly brings Clarice back as she’s mortified by what’s on the screen, her eyes opening wide and the color draining from her face. Meanwhile, Flick’s not showing any expression, and Richard and Peter are nodding as they look, pensive.
Clarice recovers after a second and reaches over, closing the laptop. There’s a slight, awkward pause, and then she says, “That, uh, was Flick’s sister! Twin… sister….”
Richard turns to Peter. “It was a good composition, wasn’t it?” “I loved the lighting—it almost looked like a heat map of the male gaze.” “Ah! That’s exactly it, isn’t it? This is like… the reduction of the female form, a criticism of the straight-male dominated society.” “Yes! Such a beautiful figure, yet it is shrouded in darkness as all men see are the tits and ass.”
Clarice can’t decide between wishing the ground would open up and swallow her… or them, while Flick just nods along and lets them come to their own conclusion. Only when they finish talking it out and address her does she say, “It’s a Christmas present.”
Richard elbows Peter and whispers, “I told you.” Peter rubs where he was elbowed, playing it off as something more painful than it was.
And Clarice tries to sink even deeper into the couch.
She’s then “saved” by Karen asking for her help in the kitchen. Although reluctant to leave Flick, Flick mouths, “I’ll be fine,” so Clarice goes ahead.
Cut to an hour or so later, Clarice comes back to the lounge to see that Steve has joined the other three, watching a talk show about soccer. She sits next to Flick, who whispers to her that it’s the MLS Cup final tonight. Clarice responds that Steve nor Richard have ever watched soccer before.
That gets a chuckle out of Flick, the two mentioned look away, Peter needling Richard. Clarice then asks why they’re even watching this; Steve mumbles that Flick mentioned she played soccer at high school. Flick confirms that.
Only, Richard adds that Steve asked Flick if she watched any sports, and she said women’s soccer. Clarice winces. Before she can say anything, though, the doorbell rings. She jumps to her feet, dragging Flick with her to the hallway. Ignoring what just happened, she says to Flick that this should be her sister, brother-in-law, and nieces.
Sure enough, when they open the door, the family of four is standing there: Louise, Nathaniel, Anne-Marie (8 years old), Marianne (6 years old).
Clarice warmly greets Louise and the girls, a more cordial but still polite greeting for Nathaniel, and she then introduces her “boyfriend” to them. Louise and Nathaniel are polite, while Anne-Marie squints at Flick, Marianne seeing that and then copying her sister. Louise gives a brief, awkward laugh and encourages the girls to greet Flick, which they do, albeit while still looking at her with suspicion.
Eager to move things on, Clarice leads them through to the lounge. Once everyone has greeted everyone (notably, the girls greet Peter without the same suspicion), Louise notices the soccer and the television and (like Clarice did) questions why it’s on when Steve and Richard never watched it before.
So the topic comes back to Flick having played it in high school. Now, this sets Anne-Marie off, and she rushes over to Flick to ask if that’s true. Flick answers yes, Anne-Marie practically squealing. Louise offers a little apology and asks Anne-Marie to calm down, then adds that Anne-Marie became a bit of a fan when the women’s team did well at the world cup.
This transitions into Anne-Marie begging Flick to play soccer, somehow roping most of the gathered family into it as well. So they all go outside, get out a soccer ball and two goals (five-a-side / children’s sized). While Steve tries to arrange teams (and finding every adult moderately unwilling), Flick shows off a bit for Anne-Marie, keepie-uppies and balancing and (at Anne-Marie’s insistence) she kicks a penalty, slamming it into the back of the (unguarded) net.
Any chance Steve has for getting a game going evaporates at that, every adult except Clarice and Louise turning around and walking back into the house (“I’m not standing in the way of that.”) Meanwhile, Anne-Marie has been going crazy, gushing with praise for Flick and already begging her to do another penalty kick. Flick’s a bit unused to the praise, but can’t refuse the enthusiastic requests coming from Anne-Marie (often parroted by Marianne).
Cue a montage as Flick goes through some training exercises, poor Steve put in goal as she shows him up with a supercut of goals (shooting from a distance, headers, fancy footwork that gets around him), and a bit of mentoring as she teaches Anne-Marie some things.
That montage is interspersed with “sexy” shots of Flick working up a sweat, wearing a tank top that shows off her muscled arms, shots of her running a hand through her a-bit-long-on-the-top hair—and Clarice is loving it, biting her lip, looking away all embarrassed when Flick winks at her.
The soccer is interrupted by Karen announcing lunch will be soon. Flick mentions she should freshen up, Louise having to intercede when Anne-Marie starts whining. And Clarice only has eyes for Flick, and Flick knows it, pausing on the way for a short kiss that drags a long sigh out of Clarice when they separate. That distracts Anne-Marie, disgusted by the PDA and telling them to get a room. Clarice giggles, then walks into the house, followed by Louise and the girls.
Steve is left in the garden, lying on the ground by the goal, wheezing.
While Clarice stays in the kitchen to help (where the back door leads to), Louise and the girls go through to the lounge, Marianne saying she needs the toilet. Clarice thinks nothing of it, even as she hears a pair of light footsteps going upstairs.
However, there’s soon a child’s shout, followed by running down the stairs. Attracted by the noise, everyone (except Steve and Flick) goes to the various doorways in time to hear Anne-Marie (standing with Marianne) announce that Flick was wearing a bra.
Clarice instantly understands what happened and desperately tries to come up with something. She’s given a moment to think as Louise tries to shush Anne-Marie, saying A-M shouldn’t talk about things like that in public; Anne-Marie counters by saying that, “You said I had to tell you right away if I saw daddy wearing your bra again.”
This leads to a very heavy silence, despite the expressions varying between mild shock and the flat expressions of someone trying not to smirk (Richard and Peter, Grandma a bit amused herself).
Louise awkwardly laughs it off and steers the girls out of the room, whispering that they’ll talk about this later. On the way out of the room, Flick comes down the stairs and joins them—wearing fresh clothes, her face clean, hair a bit damp—and Louise apologizes to Flick; Flick just waves it off, saying it’s her fault for not locking the door properly.
This brings everyone’s attention to Flick and Clarice feels like it’s a very judgmental attention, sure that, any moment, someone will ask about it. Under that pressure, she speaks up, only to stutter as now she’s the focus, before carrying on. “Uh, it’s… for chafing,” she says. “Since Flick likes to run. She—he was telling me this morning that… he wanted to go for a run before lunch, but I guess he worked up a sweat anyway.” She trails off with a forced laugh, looking away.
A silence follows, but is soon broken by Karen saying that everyone should sit down for lunch; Clarice pulls Flick through to help bring out the food.
With all the extra guests, the table is more reasonably sized this time, pretty much full without being too crowded. And with less focus on Flick’s plate, she and Clarice have more reasonable portions this time. That goes for the conversation too, most of the questions going to Peter as well as the girls, leaving Flick free to constantly flirt with Clarice—small touches and whispered comments; while no one comments on their flirting, everyone sees them doing it at some point or another.
After helping to clear up lunch, Clarice excuses herself and Flick to go study. Richard makes a joke about what exactly they’ll be studying, but Clarice just rolls her eyes and leads Flick upstairs.
Safely in Clarice’s room, she falls onto her bed, muttering about being exhausted. Flick chuckles and sits down next to her, rubbing her back. When it seems like Clarice isn’t going to say anything else, Flick asks if she wants to come clean with her family (“Should we just tell them about me?”) Clarice scrunches up her face, but mumbles back a no. “No one suspects anything, so it’s easier like this.”
Flick keeps it to herself that she thinks there’s probably a lot of suspicion going on.
Although Flick gets a bit handsy, kissing Clarice’s nape, Clarice insists on actually studying. Flick takes it in stride, stopping her advances and helping Clarice to her feet. While Clarice takes her laptop and notepads out of her suitcase, she asks if Flick really did play soccer in high school. Flick says she did. After a second, Clarice softly says she didn’t know. Flick says she tries not to talk about herself since Clarice is gonna break up with her at the end of the year. “Make it a bit easier on both of us,” she says, her tone making it sound like a joke, but it’s a joke neither of them laugh at.
Clarice feels like she’s made things awkward between them, but she can’t think of what to say to smooth things over, hiding behind her laptop. After a bit, Flick gets her laptop out too; when she opens it, Clarice sneaks a glance—and what she sees makes it hard to focus. (For clarity, it was a nude shot of Flick earlier, and Flick hasn’t done anything else with it since.) Clarice blushes, tries to focus on her work, but often sneaks more glances at Flick’s laptop.
They’re eventually called down for dinner (at dusk). Flick closes her laptop and looks over, a worried expression coming to her when she sees Clarice. “Are you alright?” she asks.
Clarice, who could be found in the dictionary under “hot and bothered”, shakes her head. “I’m fine.”
Flick doesn’t laugh off the reply, coming over to feel Clarice’s forehead. Clarice lets her, but looks away as soon as Flick takes back her hand. “No fever—d’you need some water?” Flick tugs at the collar of her own shirt. “It is a bit hot in here….”
“Let’s not keep everyone waiting,” Clarice says, hurrying to her feet. Flick, still worried, holds Clarice’s hand, walks closely to her the whole way down the stairs, only then letting go.
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2020.11.28 07:10 SilverBrushes98 Dad mom nude
Hi guys, I really need help. This is my first time posting on reddit. I am going to go on a rant and tell you about everything, so please bear with me. Anyways, I am 17 year old girl and my mom is having an affair with my ex best friend's dad. For privacy reasons, I'm going to refer my ex best friend as Harper. Anyways, I'm going to start with the very very beginning.
I never had a father figure in my life. My father left us to be with another women for money. Basically he cheated on my mother before I was born and when I was either 4 or 5. My father and his other woman have two kids together (I do not consider them as my siblings), and I resent him for it. However, I still keep in touch with him because I am the heir to his business. Also, my mom and my dad keep in touch with each other for child support and ect.
2010 - 2015
When I was around either 4 or 5 years old, I would always go horseback riding during the weekends. One day, I met Harper and we rode the horses together, went on a carriage ride, had dinner together, and went into a maze together. That day was the best day of my life because I had met my best friend. But one thing stood out from my memory during that day. When we rode the carriage, I sat next to Harper and our parents sat together. Harper said, "we are like sisters. Imagine our parents marrying each other... Then we'd be step sisters!" Our parents went pale and I didn't laugh along with Harper because I was not ready to have a new father (Still today I am not). That day ended and I thought I would never see Harper again. I was wrong. I transferred schools to be in the same school and grade as Harper. I thought it was a coincidence that we were in the same school together but it was not (It was because my mom wanted to be closer to Harper's dad). The only bright side about me being in a new school was that Harper and I became closer. We hung out almost every weekend. We basically did almost everything together. Basically, she was my only real friend. I had a few other friends, but no one came close to Harper.
As we got older, I started notice something strange about my mother. She was always so protective of her phone, she would leave me home alone for many hours saying she was going out for groceries, and she would always be on her phone either texting or calling someone. She always felt the need to talk to the other person first and not me when I wanted to tell her how the other kids at school were bullying me.
I caught my mom sending nudes to another man twice, and twice I caught my mom sneaking another man in the house to have sex. I didn't know who the man was at that time because I was around 9 or 10. Now that I am older, I know it was Harper's dad. The first time I caught my mom sneaking with harper's dad, I was sleeping in my room. The sun always wakes me up early. When I woke up, I had an urgent feeling to get up and look around the house and look outside. I noticed two things,
2020.11.28 07:05 AnnoyedPisces93 Dad mom nude
I’m 27 this year, and it’s just been a horrible year.
Firstly, I broke up with an mentally abusive partner. He threatened to leak my nude videos. Stalked me, chased me... Everything you can imagine.
Secondly, my older brother’s addiction got worse. He drinks everyday. But not like this year... He drinks so much till he abuses us (the family). My mom gets it, my dad, my little brother.
Thirdly, he abuses my little brother really bad. And my little brother has been questioning his existence and idealising suicide.
Fourth, my mom is going blind.
Fifth, I started a new job coming Monday and I’m too stressed. I can’t concentrate on anything.
Lastly, I think I’m starting to question my existence too.
Damn life sucks...
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2020.11.28 00:58 Puzzleheaded-Dirt-78 Dad mom nude
Throwaway because this could be a real problem for me career wise if the phone sex company I work for found out, also obligatory “I’m on mobile” apology for formatting. This happened a few years ago. I was maybe 26 at the time. I am a trans man, but present feminine and work as a professional dominatrix as a woman. I do a lot of work through a popular phone sex website. I had a client contact me on there and get my skype ID (sometimes clients want to cam chat there, it’s not technically allowed by the site TOS but they turn a blind eye because $$$) and he messaged me to negotiate a session. He complained about my rates, demanded I do stuff I’m not comfortable with (I don’t get fully nude on cam calls, I don’t talk about having clients touch me sexually, I don’t do sessions as a sub) and eventually threatened me with bad reviews, and to report me to the site and said I didn’t want to show him my junk because I was a very-nasty-word-for-a-trans-woman (ironic I know). He called me every name in the book and I blocked him and thought nothing of it. I’d been with that site five years and made them hundreds of thousands over the course of them so I wasn’t worried.
However a little later he pops up again with a new account and screen name a few days later, threatening violence and accusing me of stealing from him. I screen cap this and send it to the site. They say there’s nothing they can do about him creating multiple accounts but ban them as they occur. I block him again and think maybe he’ll give up. NOPE!
A few days later there’s a new account that talks in the same tone, demands the same shit, etc. So this time, with all the user names he’s used I take to google, and what do I find? But other PSOs who’d dealt with him complaining about him. I message some of them about what’s happening, and one gets back to me super fast, she says he’s been harassing her for years, telling her he hoped she’d have a miscarriage when she was pregnant, threatening her bf. At this point I’m furious, not only on my behalf but on behalf of everyone else he’s pulled this shit with. She’d tried to go to the cops, no help there (of course), but this idiot had given her a ton of personal info, from his full name, to his address.
I am a pretty good internet detective thanks to my line of work, so I start googling and putting together info. I find everything, and I mean everything, from his mom’s name, the date of his dad’s death, to his girlfriend’s name, to the shitty band he played in in high school, where he works, and who his landlord is.
I call everyone politely informing them of what this little shit is up to. His mom, his GF, his everybody. I call his gf at work just to make sure she gets it. He contacts me on Kik, demanding a response, and threatening to sue me for harassment, I laugh my ass off and explain how that doesn’t work and that if he contacts me again I’ll sue him for harassment and show him the statutes on it where we live (you have to tell the person to stop contacting you before it can be harassment, I’d told him multiple times to stop bothering me, but he’d only ever demanded that I do talk to him).
After that I did stop contacting him, but I gave all the info I’d dug up to the other PSOs to do with as they liked. Last I checked he was living with his brother in a truly shitty looking apartment and tweeting about how no one will hire him because people are mean, and about how much he hates women.
Edit to clarify: Before this he seemed to have a pretty nice life, pretty girlfriend working in real estate, a job in tech and was renting a pretty nice/big house in a nice town. I googled him just now and there are multiple places where if you google his name it shows you just what kind of person he is.
edit 2: Oh my goodness thank you for the awards!
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2020.11.26 07:39 Anch0-Chili I can’t get over my depression (please help)
some context: (this might be a bit long sorry) this last summer was crazy for me. I had a best friend that I would hang out with almost every weekend. we’ll call him teddy. once COVID started I didn’t see him for a few months, so I went to spend the weekend at his house. we would hang out and play video games all day pretty much and then at night I would hang out with his older sister. we’ll call her hannah. I went into her room and we would watch shows and stuff until we went to bed. the next weekend I came back to his house and repeated the same activities such as playing video games with teddy, and at night watching a movie with hannah. this time halfway through the movie we started cuddling. my heart was fucking racing and I didn’t know what to do because something like that has never happened to me.
I end up making out with my first girl that night. these next few months were the weirdest in my life. her parents unfortunately found out about me being In her room and us doing stuff so I was kinda banned from being at his house at the same time as she was. we were however allowed to go to the beach together, so we went to the beach. my parents drove me there and also unfortunately witnessed her on top of me while we were making out. my dad actually screamed “STOP WRESTLING” from across the beach. they were actually pretty cool about it in general but it was super embarrassing to her. anyways I’m getting sidetracked.
At some point hannah started being really weird and wouldn’t text me back and was being passive aggressive which really weirded me out because she’s usually so sweet. (I learned she was dealing with terrible emotional trauma and depression and was trying to get rid of me by trying to make me hate her)I wouldn’t sleep for days because of this. the only thing that helped me get through this was video games. I sat up playing destiny 2 for about 48 hours straight without eating or drinking. this hurt so bad because I was so attached to her and didn’t want her to go. the only thing I felt was guilt for something I wasn’t aware of / didn’t do. we ended up breaking up and I cried myself to sleep for weeks after that. I couldn’t do anything and I only felt sad. it hurt so much. I still talked to her about it throughout feeling terrible. it’s been six months and I have moved away from California and to Washington (she lives in California) and i flew back to San Francisco just to see them for a week and also meet up with a girl who ended up cheating on me. it was actually great I had a lot of fun except we broke a lot of teddy’s moms rules and we also got caught smoking weed. teddy actually ended up bending the truth and being a pussy in general on top of throwing me under the bus for no reason.
I also had met this girl at some point and we had exchanged nudes. I was very excited about this so I immediately texted all my friends and for some reason teddy fucking asked me for the pics. idk why but I said yes. and now that’s hes telling on me about shit and not being a good friend he I told someone to kick his ass to teach him a lesson. (He was on the gc when I said that) from here he threatened to leak my nudes to gc which he recently added his older sister hannah to. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. so my ex girlfriend and some of my still close friends have seen me naked which just makes me want to barf. I don’t talk to teddy anymore for obvious reasons. Except his sister Hannah won’t talk to me either because of this. I have no one. I lost all of my close friends. I have barely anyone to go to when I need help. hannah was the coolest nicest person I had ever met and she understood me so well and I couldn’t ask for anyone better than her and I have lost her. what do I do. I still love her so much. and she looks like she’s enjoying her life and it makes me happy and so sad the same time. how do I get through this? please help me.
TL:DR I lost all my friends and I’m very depressed.
submitted by Anch0-Chili to Advice [link] [comments]
2020.11.24 20:29 dissatisfiedfox Several D-days and a baby on the way. How do you trust again?
This is the first time I write my story and put it out there, I have been lurking for some time under my main account but wanted to use an alt to put my story out there and maybe get some perspective on things. I apologize if there are a lot of typos and weird formatting, English is not my mother tongue. Also, this will be long, and messy, and painful. This is me just ranting and hoping some advice might come from this as well. Maybe more than just "break up with him", I just hate thinking the kids will be affected. There is financial stuff as well, I will never be able to live alone on what I make.
So here it goes:
I (30F) met this great guy (30M) on Tinder (yes I know!!), being a single mother living on an island with under 200 citizens made dating impossible, especially since it's a place where most of the people are old people. My family is from there and I had moved back home after a breakup with my son's father, who is no longer in the picture of his own choosing. Anyway, it started great! He seemed like he actually wanted to be with me, it seemed like he enjoyed the company of me and my son. We became serious on the 24 of December 2018.
He gave me a beautiful necklace for my first birthday, saying the next time he gave me a gift it would be a ring but since our relationship was only about 6 months old he wanted to wait until Xmas. this never happened of course. He hinted and hinted once the day approached, and I got a little box, but it was with a new chain for my necklace instead of a ring. And I doubt I ever will get one now...
First D-day was before this, about 4 months in, so in April, I was playing on his wow acc. when someone wrote to him suddenly. Looking back on the chat history I saw how they had a super flirty tone, how he told her she could mount him and such after she told him she liked mount farming. How he told her he wanted to come to see her originally but then met me. Not big deals looking back and kinda silly but it was a breach of what I deemed appropriate in a relationship. I told him this and got the "you snooped, how dare you!". I laid out my boundaries for a relationship. That I actually view such things as sexting and snap sex and such as being unfaithful and would like him to stop such behavior if he was doing such. we agreed!
The second D-day, September, was him being super drunk and showing me his premium Snapchats , yes plural! He gets abusive when he drinks, not physically but mentally and he wanted to hurt my feelings since he felt I was being a party pooper for taking his cognac. The same day he had kissed a woman while being out drinking "just for fun", which his cousin who works at the bar could tell me. I reached out to this woman telling her that he is in a relationship and that we had a kid who looks at him as his real father, and if she really wanted to mess with this. They had been talking A LOT on Snapchat so I figured I should tell her this, I was obviously pissed and hurt. She immediately apologized, saying she newer could be an AP cause she had been cheated on before. She deleted him. I got blamed by him though, he felt I had no right, I embarrassed him, and I was once again being snoopy. So instead of owning up, once again he turned it back on me.
I also found he had a lot of other girls on there which he sent and got nudes, he talked dirty with and just acted a fool with. He knows the rules by now so why put it all at risk!?! I explain the rules of our relationship once more. we agree once again, but he is still mad I "snooped" and reached out to that woman.
I have since got him to stop drinking, I put my foot down, told him it's us or the alcohol. He is the sort of person who can't have just one beer to calm down, he always overdoes it, and it's a fucking shitshow for me to clean up. EVERY TIME! His parents even got called by him once to watch the shit show and how he treated me while drunk, and they were mortified.
Fast forward to may 2020 I go to check something on his pc, and lo and behold! Third D-day! Not only has he spent about 300 euros on naked pictures from girls on Kik, but he has been watching an insane amount of porn, no wonder our sex life was dying! He has also been looking into a form of the website like onlyfans, only it's very explicit. I have no problem with a healthy amount of porn, I watch it myself sometimes but I think it's wrong to watch so much that it becomes a problem in your real relationship. Once again we have the argument, this time over text. He is trying to do the "you snooped" thing again. But I lay down the rules, explain how it's wrong to go outside the boundaries we put up. Explain that once there is two-way communication it's not just porn anymore, then it's cheating. you form a relationship OUTSIDE of your relationship when you do that. And why pay for it! It's fucking free on a huge number of sites! I tell him how sad this makes me, how much he hurts me doing stuff like this. I am also cursing him and being a bit mean, I am super hurt and just want it all to go away, I want to throw away the whole damn man. He tells me he doesn't view it as cheating since it's not physical. I am fucking livid and I tell him to go fuck himself and oh btw I just found out I am pregnant so yay am I right? He doesn't believe me ofc, so I tape the test to the door when I bring his beloved PC into the hallway for him to pick up. he is staying a few days at his parent's house.
Then we reconcile, he shows remorse(!) and I am stunned. HE SHOWS REMORSE! Like it never happened before now that he actually told me he was sorry. he wasn't exactly begging me to not leave him but it meant something. He bought me flowers, while also getting his mother some, but I will take em! We decide to keep the baby after a huge amount of talks about the future and boundaries and what we want from life, we talk about my boy, who now is his boy as well. how we could be a nice family if we tried if we really worked at it. (oh boy here come the tears typing this) We get a new apartment, and for about four months things are good.
Then BOOM! Another D-day! While uploading pics to our shared photo app I see dickpics in a private album. My cheated-sense is tingling, and I feel that sinking feeling once more. I ask him "WTAF MAN, what is this?" and he spills the beans. told me he once again bought pictures on Kik, from two women. he just opened one of em and then deleted the other one and asked for a return of his money. Aaaand again with the chat about boundaries, how this hurts, and even more so since I am about 5 months pregnant. he doesn't think it makes it worse ofc and once again says he doesn't look at what he's doing as cheating. BUT I DO, and so does every sane and normal and decent fucking person.
After talking together he tells me his feelings for me are changed, he looks at me as a friend he fucks. not his girlfriend, he doesn't have romantic feelings towards me anymore. but he doesn't want to break up either. He wants it to come back naturally. But that it is hard. He says it is because I never give him space or lets him off the hook about cheating. that I am distrustful (DUUH!!) and it is unfair. Then a friend of ours told me how he told him after we had a fight that my BF feels imprisoned, how he feels like he wants to be free to do what he wants, to drink a beer if he wants to and just do what he likes. BUT that it would be mean to break up with me now that I am about to drop this baby (I am currently 32 weeks, so third trimester) and that he needs to wait until I get the baby. ofc I confront him with this, and he denies feeling like that. He says he has no such plan for the future and no such thoughts. Then why tell your friend this!?! ugh!
He talks about us buying a house together soon. He talks about our future with me and his kids with his parents and I am just so fucking confused! His parents are great btw, actually, his whole family adores me and my son. They believe I made a better man of him. Before he was a drunk 30yo man living in his parent's basement, now he is a responsible adult with (soon) two kids. He has an awesome GF in me who makes sure everyone in our house is feeling loved and cared for and have filled bellies. I do everything for this man and they all see how much I do for my little dysfunctional family. I am a caring person, that is too nice for my own good(his brother's words). His parents know all our issues, his mom and I talk about this a lot and she says she sees a whole other man from her son now the past two years (yes FFS it's only been two years, not ten!). That he cares about us, and that he would be completely broken if I ever left him. but she is also pissed at her son for being such an utter asshole towards me. They cant reach into him though, cause he just tells them to mind their own business. But she tells me he talks of OUR future TOGETHER with them, and it confuses the hell out of me!
So here I sit, heavily pregnant, with a child who looks at this man as his real father, and another one on the way who is his by biology as well. I go from being just indifferent and to having extremely toxic thoughts and mistrust for this man. I am struggling and I hope that typing it all out will help me some. I go from being completely dissolved in tears hurting so damn much, to not giving a damn as long as my kids can grow up with us both in their life. Trying to stay strong for them but sometimes when I am alone utterly failing in doing so. Still absolutely love the ass of this man, and while he has done so much to hurt me I so want us to work. He is everything I look for in a man, except the cheating obviously.
I just can't get myself to break up either! some it is because my son, who doesn't remember another dad than this man won't get the same treatment that his biological kid will. on paper, he is not his. so I doubt he will take both the kids for visiting if we break up. How am I supposed to tell a five-year-old boy that the man he believes to be his father isn't after all and that his little brothesister is allowed to go stay with daddy but he isn't? How the fuck can I ever put him through that!?! I would take a thousand D-days and tons of pain and suffering if I could know for sure that day never comes. For my kids, I can endure it all, even though it kills me to some extent.
I am not void of fault in this relationship, I have been hurt and mean. I have been super distrustful and bitter. I have been cold and maybe at times unfair. But I have NEVER cheated or ONCE let my eyes wander.
If you read this far, THANK YOU! I didn't put a Tldr in here cause I don't know how to summery this shitstorm. Sorry for the messy and ranty format. It felt good putting it all out there. even though I look like I have no self-respect, even though I look like a weak little worm with no backbone... I just... Needed to vent.
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2020.11.24 18:21 pumpkinsizedmoon Dad mom nude
Hello! Let's start with some basic info: I'm married, but I'm not looking for my husband and I - I'm just here for myself. We're both poly and supportive, but we explore relationships separately. I'm gray-ace (basically asexual), cisfemale, I don't like dirty talk/sexting, and I don't like exchanging nudes. I am open to conversing with anyone no matter their relationship status, gender, location, etc. I'm based in Ohio (EDT time zone), but I'm LDR friendly.
I'm 5'3 and tend to describe myself as 'short and dense,' but that doesn't really help y'all get a good feel for how I look, does it? I'm pale but I tan easily when I know what the sun is, green eyes, and long brown hair. I used to rock a buzz cut, but I've been growing it out for almost two years now and it's now past my shoulders. I'm not thin, and I look like I know how to cook lol.
For my personality: I'm your local mom friend with dad-like tendencies and fashion, who has more grandma behaviors then I know what to do with. I'm somehow forever out of the loop, despite my best efforts. I thrive off of caring for others, and tend to genuinely care for people much quicker then I'd like to admit. I'm painful amounts of wholesome and optimistic. I also love making food for others, and will 100% try to overstuff you with homemade goods if you visit me IRL. I'm also naturally introspective, and quite spiritual as well.
I enjoy reading, and run a small online bookclub that's safe and open to all walks of life. I have one all black cat I've proudly named Sunshine. I collect rubber duckies, have over 200 of them, and they're all over my home. I love hand writing letters and have a few penpals. In my free time I like to work on diamond paintings, journal, and learn languages. My current focus is Japanese and I'm working up to a level N5 fluency. I'm also (very, very) slowly trying to learn others, but they're not a focus currently. I find learning relaxing.
I, uh, batman sometimes too. I'm disabled due to my anxiety and PTSD. Socializing is very difficult for me, danged anxiety, but I genuinely want to try and connect with others more.
Some random facts about me: I have aphantasia, practically no sense of smell or taste (genetic, comes from my dad's side of the family), and nearly no depth perception even with glasses on. I make jokes during conversation moreso so I can cry-laugh at them, and not for others. They're usually bad puns. I'm really bad with remembering song lyrics, and will instead vaguely sing the syllables of a song and hope you know it well enough to guess based on the syllable structure alone. I have allergies, which often team up with anxiety to make me lose my voice at impressive rates of frequency.
This post is far, far too long (sorry!).. So I'll end it here. Please feel free to DM/chat me if you want to hold a conversation. Oh, it'd be great if you'd start with telling me a bit about yourself too. I've laid out a lot here, and would like some introductory info in return if you don't mind
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2020.11.24 15:10 thatshirtman Dad nude mom
On the off chance this sounds familiais helpful to anyone.
2020.11.24 10:26 coolcamels I don't want to die but I 'd rather die than feel this way forever, ya know? (Sorry, this is a bit long)
2020.11.23 08:08 bbyqrl Dad mom nude
Title says it all.
I have never laughed so hard while also sobbing.
Basically, I took a nice risqué photo for my boyfriend yesterday and have been waiting to send it to him at a more opportune time. We also got family photos taken and I had sent him the previews moments before the incident. (This will make sense later)
So he’s messing with the Apple TV in our room and I decide that it’s the perfect moment to send him the pic bc he’ll see it on the big screen. He had his camera open and I’m trying to be sneaky while he’s telling me to look at the screen bc he’s filming our dog in real time. Well I get a little overloaded on multitasking and open my text messages and send a pic to the already opened conversation.
I had forgotten that my dad was the last person to text me. Not my bf.
I immediately called him and said, “dad, I need you to delete our text conversation and please don’t ask me why.” He laughed and said, “oh god please tell me it’s not a picture.” I confirmed it was and my dad replied, “okay well I’m gonna give the phone to mom so she can open it and delete it” I begged him to just delete the whole convo thread but he’s not an iPhone user and told me he has to open the messages to delete it. So I conceded to allowing my mother to delete it.
After the incident my boyfriend and I went and got food with our roommate, who was aware of the dad fiasco. Right we got home I decided fuck it I’ll send my bf the pic finally instead of trying to make a thing out of sending it to him (i.e. while he’s at work or whatever) so I nonchalantly sent it and not even a second later I hear the TV turn on. I look to the screen and see his phone background. “[Roommate] look at the TV!” Fuck. My boyfriend has his phone up and is using the camera to put my dog on the TV. Again. Then the little banner drops down, my nude showing but now on a 65” TV instead of a little phone screen. Boyfriend accidentally drops his phone. We all watch in mild horror as the little banner disappears on its own time.
This fucking nude is cursed.
TL;DR I accidentally sent a nude to my dad instead of my bf. When I finally sent it to my bf my roommate saw it.
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