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2020.11.26 19:58 pandaDesu With Rell and other new champs, is League becoming too anime? League's recent trend towards anime waifu appeal

With the recent league champions that have come out this year – Sett, Lillia, Yone, Samira, Seraphine, and now Rell – there's been a clear priority towards making more "anime-like" characters that will appeal to weebs and the Chinese playerbase. The character designs are either bland, anime-like, pandering to China, or just blatant Disney-esque "waifu-bait" sex appeal made to sell skins.
This all came to a head with Rell's recent reveal. A tank character who ultimately is a conventionally-attractive girl wearing some but not a lot of armor who feels less like the oldschool League champ design and more like a vessel to sell skins down the line. It could've been a yordle. It could've been an old person. It could've been a monster or an animal or a void creature. Instead, we got anime Disney girl waifu #38.
I realize this is a pretty strong claim to make, and I decided to outline all the recent champions in reverse-chronological order since League has started to shift towards becoming more and more of an anime game that prioritizes bland waifu character designs over fresh, original concepts. Of course this is all fairly subjective, but I think it's important to trace back just when League of Legends started to slowly morph into this "new" League of Anime Waifus:
Champ Notes
Seraphine She's basically an isekai character, a "real world" character who one-day magically found herself in a fantasy land (Runeterra) considering that she's a pop-star which makes no sense with this game's lore. Plus, she has ridiculously-pink hair, which is pretty anime.
Samira She's literally Devil May Cry.
Yone A samurai that came back from the dead and wields two katanas. Where were you while he was studying the blade?
Lillia A monster champ that isn't gross or old or monster-enough so she's clearly just Disney waifu-bait. Plus her hair is colored, which must be anime.
Sett Sono chi no sadame
Aphelios Look at his hair and tell me that's not anime. Sad e-boy edgy mute twink who happens to be a master in five different styles of gun, with the spirit of his dead twin sister follows him wherever he goes? Is this the plot of the new anime FOTM?
Senna The light and the darkness... I Can Be Your Angle... Or Yuor Devil
Qiyana Radiates strong mobile game energy.
Yuumi Talking cat, next.
Sylas Shirtless, ripped, and chained all over, Riot explain this blatant husbando-bait.
Neeko Even if she's canonically lesbian, weebs will still find a way to make her their waifu. And another woman champion with colorful hair, automatic grounds for being anime.
Pyke Rejected One Piece filler episode villain whose only personality trait is angrily stabbing lists and the people on said lists.
Kai'Sa Reference to Samus and Samus is a Nintendo character and Nintendo is Japanese and what's also Japanese? That's right, anime.
Zoe Bro, she's actually ten-thousa-
Ornn A dwarf fursona with the proportions of a poro, he's way too cute and cuddly and clearly based off the gruff blacksmith with a heart of gold in all those animes. Real dwarves suddenly disappear around 1E 700 when the protagonist of the last game sets off the Numidium destroying yet uniting all of history (or maybe just writing lore is hard).
Kayn Inside you are two wolves. One is gay. The other is gay. You are gay.
Xayah She wears short skirts, I wear feathers, she's cheer captain and I'm in detention. The Mary Sue who's not like the other girls because they like 1D and take selfies and she has a nose ring and parts her hair so as to cover her eye and give her irreversible eyesight complications in the future. Likely wrote something similar to My Immortal back in her DeviantArt days.
Rakan Rakan and Xayah are sometimes depicted together with combined wings. The one-winged Jian bird in Chinese mythology has a similar codependency, which represents the bond of two lovers. Clearly this is China-bait.
Camille A subtle little reference to an obscure Japanese hand-drawn cartoon series, Shingeki no Kyojin.
Ivern A bush made out of pixels on your computer screen. You know what else is a bush made out of pixels on your computer screen? This is actually an intervention, your crippling addiction to Japanese porn has concerned us all. Please, you haven't left the house in the last two months.
Kled Funny comic genocidal fluffball character, these are a dime a dozen in anime.
Taliyah She's literally an Avatar reference, Riot got super-lazy with their Earthbending rip-off champ.
Aurelion Sol He's literally a dragon. China loves dragons, remember? He panders to China.
Jhin I mean skinny masked bishounen killer who melodramatically boasts about his wArPeD life philosophy? Literally every popular anime rival villain.
Illaoi A thicc amazonian woman summoning tentacles to do her bidding, y'all know where this is going.
Kindred The classic yin-yang dualistic spiritual being that anime loves, plus furry-bait.
Tahm Kench He feeds his insatiable appetite through the misery of others, and soon he will discover a bottomless supply of misery when he finds you and tells you every day that your waifu is not real and never will be and even if she was she'd find you repulsive just like all the other women in your life. But at least you have figurines!
Ekko He's a 15 year old boy that can go back in time and fights for his friends, that's some basic shounen shit.
Bard Based off of Mongolian throat-singing, but that doesn't matter because to reddit anything Asian is automatically anime!
Rek'Sai She burrows because she's actually got her stash of manga buried underneath Summoner's Rift and that's what she's reading when spends her time below surface and she knocks up people when she surfaces because she's annoyed they interrupted her reading time and now she's gotta go back a page to remember what just happened.
Kalista She's like a gender-bent Kratos from God of War and God of War is a PS4 game and Playstation is a Japanese company and anime is Japanese, checkmate.
Azir Serious fans of Isao Takahata (known for Grave of the Fireflies) may have seen his earlier work The Great Adventure of Horus, Prince of the Sun, which Azir is pretty much confirmed by Riot himself to be based off of.
Gnar Hehe, funny dumb animal side-character meant to boost young audience viewership and sell plushies go bonk!
Braum He lives in a frozen wasteland, yet wears no shirt. He's a tank-y champion yet wears no armor. Where is the lore consistency??? (Plus he's literally modeled after those brawny Bronson-esque bald mustached fisticuff characters you see in every anime.)
Vel'Koz Purple tentacled eye monster who "studies" human lifeforms; see Illaoi.
Yasuo I think this one might actually be the one non-anime champ in the game? Talanted, brilliant, incredible, amazing, showstopper, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it-
Jinx Crazy manic pixie wide-eyed murder-happy harliquinn-styled flat-chest waifu who straddles the age of consent. Basic anime shit.
Lucian The one token black character in every anime.
Aatrox He's Muramasa the champion. Or a JoJo reference if you're boring.
Lissandra You may think she's born from Norse mythology, but this icy-bitch is actually a metaphor for how weebs see women.
Zac Slime monsters are a classic anime trope, a clear reference to Dragon Quest. Alternatively he's a genderbent slime girl, you sick freak.
Quinn A Berserk reference made into a tsundere waifu, careful she won't send Valor to gouge your eyes out (it's not like that's what she wanted, b-baka)
Thresh He traps your soul in his lantern, much like how anime traps your soul so you can never go to heaven.
Vi Fist of the Northern One Punch (wo)Man. Plus she's got colored hair which literally doesn't exist outside of anime.
Nami Why does this fish have tits? Stupid waifu-bait.
Zed An obscure reference to Fortnite streamer Richard Tyler Blevins, better known by his online alias "Ninja".
Elise Okay a fish is one thing, but this champion is a fucking spider, why do they keep adding milkers to animals with no milk? More excessive waifu-bait.
Kha'Zix Clearly a reference to the cancelled Alien vs Predator anime Netflix original. I mean he's literally Alien!
Syndra That armor is not practical hunty, Riot you really expect us to believe her outfit is functional? Functional for being a CBT waifu maybe.
Rengar Cancelled Alien vs Predator anime Netflix original reference #2. I mean he's literally Predator!
Diana Yin. noun. (in Chinese philosophy) the passive female principle of the universe, characterized as female and sustaining and associated with earth, dark, cold, and the moon. What's with this overt China pandering?
Zyra Alright they even found ways to put ta-ta's on plants now, the most obvious example of waifu-baiting so far.
Jayce The bland, generic, stereotypical American character in anime shows who get abandoned two episodes in. Completely forgettable, do Jayce mains even exist?
Draven ACTIVE: Jax enters Evasion, a defensive stance, for 2 seconds, causing all non-turret basic attacks against him to be dodged. Jax also takes 25% reduced damage from all champion area of effect abilities. Counter Strike can be recast after 1 second. At the end of the duration, Jax stuns all nearby enemies for 1 second and deals physical damage to them, increased by 20% for each attack dodged, up to a 100% increase. Minimum Physical Damage: 55 / 80 / 105 / 130 / 155 (+ 50% bonus AD) Maximum Physical Damage: 110 / 160 / 210 / 260 / 310 (+ 100% bonus AD) Recast: Jax ends Counter Strike early.
Darius Look at his old splash art and tell me that isn't a 5head Tetsuo reference.
Varus There's literally three guys inside of him at all times. Disgusting. Where can I find more?
Fiora Originally French, but as shown in the superserver Chinese Fioras are just built different, so now she's canonically Chinese. And why does she have colorful hair, just another generic anime Disney girl I guess :/
Nautilus His E, Titan's Wrath, grants him a shield for up to six seconds, and while the shield holds his basic attacks bonus magic damage to his target and all enemies around them. This is all to say that you should be careful about when to Attack on Titan.
Ziggs Crazy furball character is a staple trope of anime, more at 11.
Sejuani One of the champs whose "waifu bikini armor" was so egregious they actually redid her splash because of how ridiculous it was. Not sure why they didn't do the same with Ashe to be honest.
Viktor Converting one's body into being Full of Metal? Hmmmm.
Ahri I like her for her... playstyle. Yeah...
Volibear Bara tiddies. I'm sorry.
Fizz He's kinda like Stitch from Lilo & Stitch, my favorite Disney anime.
Shyvana Ridiculous. Dragons should not have such child-bearing hips as they lay eggs instead of live-birthing.
Graves Okay hear me out, they took away his cigar and nobody except reddit really cared and I guess the Rioters who had to frequent the reddit community for their jobs got tired of all the complaints this one tiny segment of their playerbase made so they asked their friends in the art and animation department to re-add the cigar layer in the .psd and to reddit this is basically like an anime redemption arc.
Xerath Leaked Genshin Impact Femboy Xerath? Leaked Genshin Impact Femboy Xerath.
Riven Waifu Marth.
Talon Even if it's not Japanese, Assassin's Creed is like one of the most anime video-games ever, you're basically a westaboo ninja.
Skarner He was supposed to be a crystal in FFXV but Tetsuya Nomura forgot to tell Hajime Tabata about it and that's why the game feels unfinished.
Wukong Actual China-bait.
Leona We were promised a tank champion, but all we got was just another skinny girl waifu-bait. She should have more armor on, why does she just wear a skin-tight bodysuit on her torso? And why is she not wearing a helmet? Waitaminute, this sounds familiar...
Yorick One of his moves has him throwing a putrid ball of cum at you, which is pretty accurate weeb representation.
Orianna Hello Alita the battle angel from Alita: Battle Angel.
Vayne If Van Helsing was a sexy librarian who gave ruined handjobs.
Rumble Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann but smol
Brand Charizard's skin-sona.
Lee Sin Bruce Lee.
Nocturne The very concept of nightmares and fears materialized into a singular entity? Typical mid-late boss battle in like half of all JRPGs that exist, probably has like 4+ phases. Seen it.
Jarvan IV Righteous yet generic warrior king leader in all those mediocre fantasy animes. Bored Art Online, next.
Maokai He literally spreads his seed in-game. Riot, dial it back.
Karma Karma's name is a niche little reference to the Asian concept of karma, which originates from the large continent of Asia. Must be China-bait.
Renekton An obscure reference to Alligator from Hunter x Hunter in episode 78 of the Chimera Ant arc. Really cool how Riot plants all these hidden yet intentional anime references throughout their roster.
Caitlyn Her splash art is the type of pin-up poster they used to convince your great-grandpa to die for his country. Boomer waifu.
Cassiopeia Riot literally making it an in-game mechanic to not look at her eyes. Well where else am I supposed to look at? Her tits??
Trundle Wow, how cool of Riot to make a literal weeb as a champion!
Irelia Her armor is a result of her scheduling her yoga appointment too close to the Battle of Placidium. Seriously, is it made of spandex or something?
Leblanc When you can't decide whether you're going to the club or to the circus.
Lux Someone at Riot clearly had a bimbo-clown fetish looking back at Lux's original splash.
Swain Swain is the ruler of Noxus and can be seen as a dictator of sorts. His Northern Front skin tips us off to the fact that he's vaguely Russian-inspired. Now, what would be the anime that links us from League of Legends to Russian militaristic dictators? That's right, it's Girls und Panzer! Promoting militarist sentiments behind the guise of cute girl characters is a tactic Swain would surely smile upon!
Sona She's literally Hatsune Miku.
Miss Fortune Bro it's Miss Fortune idk what to tell you
Urgot The ugly fat bastard hentai artists always draw for some goddamn reason. He's gonna dick down your favorite waifu and there's nothing you can do about it.
Galio Macro x Dragon porn. Intersectionality is beautiful.
Vladimir Sexy vampires is a tale as old as time.
Xin Zhao Someone help this guy return back to the Three Kingdoms period. (possible other actual China-bait? idk)
Kog'Maw Reverse Kirby. More unoriginal Japanese rip-offs.
Olaf Please, stop with the Disney princess movie references.
Malzahar All he does is push the wave every 30 seconds and then sit at his tower much like how all weebs do is sit in their room and occasionally leave for tendies. Both are cancer.
Akali The sports-bra assassin.
Garen If you spam his joke it looks like he's twerking. Unnecessarily sexy for my Christian eyes.
Kennen Hamtaro + Naruto. Yawn.
Shen Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat. Less spine-ripping though.
Ezreal The OG League anime twink. League's been queer-baiting for over a decade.
Mordekaiser He literally banishes you to the Shadow Realm, I smell a copyright infringement from Viz Media.
Gragas Another needlessly shirtless League of Legends sex icon; his barrels bring all the boys to the yard.
Pantheon So I guess even though they modeled a unique and distinctive head for Pantheon, Riot decided "nah that'll distracted from his chiseled spartan abs too much" and hid it behind a metal bucket? What over-commitment to blatant sex appeal.
Poppy Please do not draw any lewds of her she's pure and innocent and smol oh god stop
Nidalee Both a cougar and a cougar -pounces on you x3-
Udyr The bear for people looking for a bear that's a little less 'bear' than Volibear. Canonically a furry.
Heimerdinger Sapiosexuals rejoice.
Shaco Demon jester, it's never been done before I swear.
Nasus Did you know the ancient Egyptians were horny as hell and their culture was obsessed with dicks and semen? Their creator god Atum literally jerked off and the jizz became the world. Pharaohs would then ritualistically jack off into the Nile for the river was seen as the cum of the Gods. Some drawings show them being escorted by giant cock beasts, and in this essay I will show that Nasus-
Corki Like Seraphine, another example of the isekai trope at work. Dude got ripped straight out of Pearl Harbor.
Katarina In Katarina's line of work, nothing provides more camouflage in the cover of night than bare midriff. This is because all her targets are gay.
Blitzcrank The first hooker.
Dr. Mundo He's a gym-rat that's as dumb as a rock, big himbo energy. God why are dumbasses so fucking hot
Janna Someone at Riot took one of those "We Are Fucking Under Attack" mobile game elf ladies and made her a champ, and this is how we got Janna.
Malphite His nips are always hard. Why is this?
Gangplank Riot wants us to forget when Gangplank originally had chest hair so thick it gained sentience and separated itself from his fucking body. I actually... don't know... was this supposed to be sexy or...?
Taric Candidate for biggest chest-to-head ratio size in the game.
Kassadin -teleports behind you- Nothing personell kid.
Veigar Blatant Final Fantasy black mage ripoff!
Anivia The missing K/DA member.
Rammus Crackhead Sonic the Hedgehog.
Amumu A sad Egyptian child who has no friends. You know who else is a sad Egyptian child who has no friends? Mokuba Kaiba.
Cho'Gath What do you think of when you think of Cho'Gath? That's right, Gentleman Cho'Gath. And what is Gentleman? That's right, a song by Korean musician Psy who did Gangnam Style. This is a hint that Riot will be giving us K/DA Cho'Gath in the next skinline, along with Badnivia.
Karthus Depictions of skeletons are banned in China, so Riot literally had to re-do all of Karthus's splash arts so as to be acceptable there. This is clear pandering to the Chinese market, and therefore unacceptable.
Evelynn There may be some sex appeal going on here.
Tryndamere Another flagrant example of husbando-baiting, why is he half-naked in the middle of a blizzard? Are the men in Freljord immune to frostbite or is Riot just making more boring sexy humanoid male champs?
Twitch Gay.
Singed Taken straight from the League wiki: "Singed's bald figure, red and green color motifs, and his large boots make him resemble Sigma from the Mega Man/Rockman X series." You just know a weeb made this champ.
Zilean Actually probably ten-thousand years old or something.
Alistar Literal beefcake, Riot keeps making such ridiculously sexy champions just to sell more skins.
Annie Sweet, adorable, little girl actually destructive demon child who uses her anthropomorphic toys as weaponized allies. Prime filler-episode template.
Ashe Somehow her clothing makes even less sense than Braum or Tryndamere. Why isn't she covering her armpits? Why is she wearing a mini-skirt and thigh-highs? Why are you wearing a v-neck in the middle of winter??
Fiddlesticks A skinny queen who once again sets impossible body standards.
Jax Classic anime trope of fighter who's so good at fighting he doesn't use normal weapons.
Kayle If sex is a sin, then why did God give his angels boob plating?
Master Yi The original Yasuo before Yasuo. I still want to delete both.
Morgana Sexy smouldering fallen angel turns out to be misunderstood and actually made some points. Definitely never been done in anime ever.
Nunu & Willump Hello Nunu & Willump from League of Legends. Hello Hiro & Baymax from Big Hero 6. Yes.
Ryze There is no reason a mage needs to be this shirtless and this ripped, but here he is for those who asked. Did anyone ask??
Sion Like, every orc from every fantasy anime ever, but to be fair they also took it from Warcraft, Tolkien, and D&D.
Sivir Wonder Woman. Did she break her spine posing in her base splash? Someone please get this girl a chiropractor.
Soraka The cottage-core variety of monster girl waifu.
Teemo The Pikachu of League, for better or for worse.
Tristana Little girl, big gun, clearly a reference to Black Rock Shooter.
Twisted Fate The one outlet gay Leaguers had before Graves.
Warwick For those of you really into werewolves, you know who you are. And you need Jesus.
So yeah, there you have it, since the release of Warwick, League's been pretty clearly appealing to weebs and the male gaze. The anime influence was pretty blatant when we got literal ninjas like Akali and Shen and literal samurais like Master Yi, and then we got literally Hatsune Miku as a champion with Sona, and even Teemo's just another generically cute anime mascot character. And champs like Nunu & Willump and Lux really kickstarted the recent Disney princess design we've been seeing. And since we got champs like Evelynn, Nidalee, Morgana, and Irelia it's pretty clear that Riot's been prioritizing waifus and sex appeal in their champ designs over something more original. Imagine if instead of being just another generic waifu, Irelia was a yordle, or old, or a monster. Or an old yordle monster. Instead Irelia falls into the new school of champ design where champs must be sexy waifus to sell their skins. I know this was a lot to read, so I appreciate if you read any of it and hope you too got something out of it. Riot's really been lazy and greedy with their uninspired champions since the release of Warwick and I hope they can go back to their early roots of fresh, creative designs that don't rely on this recent trend of sex appeal, waifu-baiting, or anime influence. Thank you for listening.
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2020.11.26 19:21 BWithGeneral Naked porn live

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submitted by BWithGeneral to u/BWithGeneral [link] [comments]

2020.11.26 15:31 Hoycambio Naked porn live

O don't want to see bodies with lustful thoughts or feelings. I want to see bodies with love. As what they can be: a way to connect with their owner in a meaningful way.
Also bodies are a transport of souls, lives, and a mean to an end.
I didn't get to choose between this option and being a lustful person. Society (I mean everyone, 99% of everyone I know) tells you that having sexual desires to others is normal.
Fuck normal.
I don't want to follow normal rules. I want to connect with my girlfriend and the worst part is I don't know how to, because all I've been taught from the day I remember until today, being a 22 yo guy, is that "having sex is the best", "jerking off is not just ok, it's also necessary every week", "if you don't enjoy looking a naked women's body, something is wrong with you".
I realised that I didn't have the choice. Now I can choose. But I'm addicted to porn. I'm addicted at looking girls with lustful thoughts. I can't see a friend with innocent eyes because my mind is so trashed that I imagine how she does in bed.
I don't feel anymore if I jerk off normally. I need to do it hard. This is not ok. And this is because I've done what's considered normal. Now it's not normal. Now it's out of control.
My best days where when I wasn't tapping. I felt SO good. And i didn't touch my penis for about 2 weeks. In fact, I did everything I needed to stay away from pmo.
Here I go again. Stop your "normal" behaviors.
submitted by Hoycambio to NoFap [link] [comments]

2020.11.26 14:51 Yosh1220 Naked porn live

I am not a Christian but this verse describes what i am about to show you perfectly.

Thimoty 6: 9 Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.
In my last post I have talked about the scientific harms of porn in relation to addiction and depression, but porn is so much more and does so much more. I like to call it the gates of hell, once you get hooked into it and dont get out you will end up in a very bad place. In my last post i talked about how it numbs your brain and you have to watch more and harder stuff to feel any pleasure. This is a path that i want to explore further with you in this post.
Now to everyone whos watched porn on here, think about how your taste in porn was at the beggining and how it changed over time, did it get extremer? weirder? more hardcore? Maybe not for you but checking out other subs you can see numerous people saying that the more they watched the more twisted their taste got. Someone commented on the last post Slavemaster porn 1 that i am mistaking cause and action, that the people struggling with it are sick to begin with and thats why they started watching it in the first place. Now that doesnt make any sense because as i told you backed up with scientific evidence that Porn fits into the addiction framework and by watching it all you will sooner or later need to progress in the intensity of the material to get any rush out of it. So the argument that porn is good because it prevents those people from actually living out those fantasies, no its the opposite, most people only start to get twisted by their excessive consumption of porn. Now here is an example of something somewhat extreme, this of course doesnt apply to it but its a case of what can happen, this link shows the search results of user 927 Aol, leaked search historys, Here you can see how it starts out already a bit unnormal but in line and how with time his taste gets weirded and more twisted and finally illegal and deviant.
Now some of you would say you cant make such claims only by checking out nofap subs or one extreme example, show us proof. Of course you have every right to say that and i will happily show you proof. Teens who watch porn are reported to commit more sexual violent acts also knowns as TDV, Teen dating violence.
Violent pornography exposure was associated with all types of TDV, though patterns differed by gender. Boys exposed to violent pornography were 2-3 times more likely to report sexual TDV perpetration and victimization and physical TDV victimization, while girls exposed to violent pornography were over 1.5 times more likely to be perpetrate threatening TDV compared to their non-exposed counterparts.
It also makes you more accepting towards rape myths and sexual deviancy in general, less sensitive and twists your brain into accepting sick things, like rape fantasies and violent sexual accts, as shown in the following studies.
A positive d indicates exposure to pornography had negative outcomes, while a negative d indicates positive consequences in relation to sexual deviancy, sexual perpetration, intimate relationships, and rape myth outcomes. As can be noted, no negative d's emerged in the current meta-analysis, thereby indicating the consistent negative effect of exposure to pornography in each of these four areas.
Here it shows how even rape gets subcouncisly accepted.
The present study was conducted to learn more about the association between fraternity membership and attitudes and behaviors associated with sexual aggression against women. A male experimenter took digital pictures of all of the images of women displayed in the rooms of 30 fraternity men and 30 non-fraternity men on a residential, small, liberal arts college campus. The men also filled out a rape myth acceptance scale. A total of 91 images were found in the form of posters, “pin-ups,” advertisements, or computer screen savers. It was found that fraternity men had significantly more images of women displayed in their rooms and that the images were rated significantly more degrading than those in the rooms of non-fraternity men. Fraternity men were found to have significantly higher scores on a rape supportive attitude scale (RSA). RSA scores were positively related to the amount of degradation in the images found in men's rooms. The possible purposes and consequences of the display of degrading sexual images are discussed.
Now we can go a step further and see that the most common thing amongst serial killers is porn. Now almost every one of those murderes says that porn had a massive effect into lowering their guilt and hesitation in commiting the horrible acts they did. They dont have a reason to lie about this and even if, these people dont really knew each other but everyone of them said the same thing about pornography.
  • Serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer of Wisconsin, speaking of his routine before hunting for a victim said, “Just…using pictures of past victims…the pornography videos, the magazines…” Jeffrey Dahmer killed 17 boys and men.
  • Ted Bundy, convicted rapist and mutilation murderer of Washington, said that hard-core pornography had a "crystallizing effect" on his violent tendencies and his acting out during the 1970s.
  • Arthur Gary Bishop from Utah, executed for raping and murdering five boys in the 1980s, said pornography's "effect on me was devastating."
  • Andrei Chikatilo, a Russian serial killer, murdered at least 53 women and children. "…with pictures of naked women in his prison cell, he blamed pornography as the cause of this troubles."
  • Wisconsin resident Ed Gein, the first serial killer, aka The Butcher of Plainfield, and inspiration for movies such as Psycho, Maniac, and The Silence of the Lambs "accumulated a library of anatomy books, porn magazines, horror and adventure novel…" in the 1950s.
  • John Wayne Gacy's wife filed for divorce in 1976 because "Gacy's moods had become erratic, and [she] had found Gacy's pornographic magazine collection which was all centered around young boys." Gacy killed at least 33 young men and boys in Chicago, Illinois.
  • The nickname BTK (bind, torture, kill) was given to Dennis Rader, a Kansas native, who killed 10 people. "He kept meticulous records of his fantasies and crimes in what he called his 'mother lode' collection of pornography."
  • David Berkowitz killed over a dozen people in New York. He joined a cult and was introduced to "drug use, sadistic pornography and violent crime." The cult also created and distributed child pornography.
  • Richard Ramirez was exposed to explicit pictures of his cousin "raping Vietnamese women and severing the heads of Vietcong soldiers." He in turn killed at least 13 people in California.
  • Edmund Kemper, a California serial killer and necrophile known as the Co-ed Killer, used pornography and detective magazines for erotic stimulation; he picked up women who were hitch-hiking, then killed, and raped them post-mortem.
  • Ottis Toole from Florida became obsessed with gay pornography. He "committed his first murder at the age of 14." During his killing spree, accompanied by Henry Lee Lucas, he killed 108 people.
  • The Grim Sleeper, Lonnie Franklin Jr., "had a penchant for prostitutes and pornography." A resident of LA, he would pick up prostitutes, take pornographic pictures of his victims, then strangle them to death. His killing spree included 11 murders.
  • In the 2013 murder case of Tia Sharp, a 12-year-old girl from the UK, the judge declared to murderer Stuart Hazell, "the records of your internet searching on your mobile phone make abundantly clear that you were looking out for pornographic pictures of pre-teen girls."
  • In 2013, on the day Mark Bridger, a UK native,abducted April Jones, he "viewed online photographs of a young girl and a pornographic cartoon depicting...rape."
There is also a video of Ted Bundy talking about how porn affected him.
Okay so then there is one big counter argument: Sexual crimes actually decreased. But here is the catch, the less it got the thighter security and tracking technology got. Saying that porn prevents crimes from happening is ignorant considering the evidence i provided, the only reason why these crimes decreased is because its harder to commit them without getting catched.
The term teen has been on top lists in pornography searchings and if you think about the actual meaning of this its sickeing. People get aroused by the thought of a barely legal person being sexually displayed and who knows where it goes from on there.
But this begs the question again: Why all of this? Why would anyone want this to happen? If i had the answers I would tell you but i am trying to figure out the truth aswell.
submitted by Yosh1220 to conspiracytheories [link] [comments]

2020.11.26 11:28 throwbot98765 Naked porn live

Just for context, me and bf have been together ~ 5 years, living together for 1.5 years, we are located in USA. This is a throwaway.
This morning, my bf was showing me something in a groupchat with his friends. As we was scrolling I saw a photo thumbnail of a girl’s face and asked who it is ( I know all of his friends, and thought it was a new girl one of them was seeing or something).
He opened the photo and it was porn, like straight up naked chick, posing with huge tits, the works.
He tried to quickly scroll to the next photo - that was also porn, and so was the next one, and the next one. It was literally so cringe. I was like oookkaay I’m just gonna hop outta bed and go make a coffee. He tried to hold me in bed because he thought I was mad, but I just shimmied out of his grasp and went to the kitchen.
Before this happened, we were gonna jump into the shower together to get a lil freaky, but after this I was like yeah no thank you - idk the photos just really put me off.
He was in the shower calling for me to join him and I just ignored him honestly. When he got out he asked why I didn’t join him (and this is where I might be in the wrong) I said something like, “ yeah well I don’t think you need me to get you off, I mean you got all those big tits on your phone - I’ll make sure I add a bunch of naked guys with huge dicks to my group chats”. Yes I know, childish. I didn’t think before I said it, it just kind of fell out.
He got pretty angry saying, “ why are you angry, you’re blaming me for something I didn’t even do blah blah blah”
Which he is right, it was sent into the group by someone else, but still Idk, it’s still cringe and off putting.
I guess I just don’t know how to handle this. Should I be bothered and stand my ground that this is creepy? Should I let it go because it’s THEIR groupchat, I’m not a part of it so it’s not my business?
Just looking for advice on how to handle this, and how to ya for it if it ever happens again (I freaking hope not but hey you never know).
If you need any additional info, let me know!
submitted by throwbot98765 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.11.25 17:17 bdedi I'm at a loss, no idea what to do.

This might be long and for that I apologize. I’ve been a lurker for sometime and I think I’ve finally worked up my courage to post. I’ve been married for 27 years. I’m HL56M and she’s 61LLF(think that’s how you list it). We haven’t had sex in over 10 years. I haven’t seen her naked in over 10 years. Affection is gone, no hugs, no kisses, nothing. I make advances and I’m totally shutdown. I’ve suggested counseling and her response has been, there’s nothing wrong. At this point I’ve basically given up. The simple answer is divorce, I know. I’ve investigated it and other than the huge cost to even do it, because of our salary differences I’d be paying her enough to double her current salary. Our son is grown, 24 and out of college. With the Covid nightmare he’s living at home with us and like me, working from home. I’m like many of us in this group, I have no friends to speak of, she’s either driven them away or drives a wedge between us. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m nothing more than a check to her. I’ve had occasional health problems over the years and I have follow-up visits with doctors and when I tell her I’m going for this test or that test, her only response is ‘great what’s this going to cost?’. I’ve started making e-friends I find via apps where people post their concerns and complaints about life. 99.9% of these either end up being nothing but a conversation for a month and that’s it. Having e-friends makes it easier to exist. Even for the limited amount of time I have that ‘friend’ it helps me feel appreciated, wanted, needed. Even without any physical contact, just the mental contact helps immensely. I’m so over masturbation it’s sad. Porn gets boring after a while. Sure, I resort to it on occasion and like some of us I do it in bed next to her and get no interest/response/offer of help. I did ‘cheat’, at this point I don’t even consider it cheating. It only lasted 8 months and we only saw each other physically maybe 5 times. She was in a really hard place and had no self-confidence much like myself. She’s now married and happy. Would I do that again, probably. The issue comes down to money. Every freaking dime going in and out of our account, yes, joint account, is scrutinized by her. I’m to the point where I’ve just given up trying to do anything. I work all day in my office, she comes home from work, puts on pajamas, parks herself on the couch and watches tv. No invitation to watch so I go downstairs to my office and escape by playing games with more ‘e-friends’ that play the same game. I can’t believe I’ve rambled on this long. I have to stop, the tears are starting and this is about all I can write now. Well, that's fun, it didn't post with an alias.
submitted by bdedi to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]

2020.11.25 01:51 No_Faithlessness3486 Naked porn live

I can’t do the photo but let’s do this
The Number Game
Made by u/German-Spy
The Basics:

  1. Age
  2. Gender
  3. Height
  4. Weight 5. Where are you from
  5. Zodiac Sign
  6. First Name
  7. Last Name
  8. Middle Name 10. Birthday
  9. Main Language(s)
Hobbies/Favorite things:
  1. Favorite Color
  2. Favorite Food
  3. Favorite Activity
  4. Favorite Music genre 16. Favorite Artist
  5. Favorite Song
  6. Favorite Movie 19. Favorite Video Game (if any)
  7. Favorite TV show
  8. Do you play any sports 22. Last thing you did
  1. Do you currently have a job
  2. Future Job/CareeAmbitions 25. Have you drank/smoked anything
  3. Have you done drugs
  4. Do you have any pets 28. Most Favorable Memory
  5. Most embarrassing moment 30. Dream Vacation
  6. How many Family members
  7. How many friends 33. Do you plan on going
Social Media:
  1. Do you use any other social media then Reddit
  2. Who do you follow
  3. Have you ever had an internet
  1. Most used Social Media app 38. What's your username on each app
  2. Have you met any friends online 40. Do you follow any NSFW accounts/pages
  3. Last Person you DM'd/followed
  4. What was the last message you
sent 43. How many followers/friends on social media
  1. Amount of time you use social
Personal Belongings:
  1. Most expensive thing you own
  2. Do you own anything above
  1. Most prized possession
  2. Do you own anything
  1. Weirdest thing you own
  2. Do you own anything popular
  3. Do you own anything considered
  1. Do you own anything futuristic 53. Coolest thing you own
  2. Oldest thing you own
  3. What did you buy get recently
  1. Hair Style 67. Hair Length
  2. Hair Color 69. Nice
  3. Body Style
  4. Ethnicity 72. What are you wearing
  5. Eye Color 74. Are you wearing makeup
  6. Type of Underwear you wear
  7. Favorite outfit 77. Facial/Body Hair
  1. Sexuality
  2. Relationship Status
  3. Who is your crush 81. Celebrity Crush
  4. Have you ever cheated on
  1. Ideal Girlfriend/Boyfriend
  2. Idea of Perfect Date
  3. Have you asked someone out 86. What do you hope in a
  1. Are you interested in anyone 88. Do you real life online date
Sex & Sexuality:
  1. Are you a virgin 90. Have you ever seen anyone naked
  2. Do you have piercing/tattoos
  3. Have you ever had same-sex
  1. Have you ever sent a nude
  2. Have you ever sexted
  3. Have you ever kissed anyone 96. Am I attractive
  4. Have you ever slept together
  5. Do you want to have sex 99. Are you straight, bi, gay/lesbian,
pan, etc.
Sexual: (Welcome to Spicy
  1. Bra/Dick size
  2. Pubic Hair: Natural, trimmed, shaved, none
  3. Do you have any hair 103. (Guys Only) Areautircumcised
  4. How often you Masturbate 105. Have you ever watched porn
  5. Ideal Sexual/Physical attributes
  6. Favorite Sexual Fantasy 108. Turn Ons/Turn Offs
  7. Any Kinks
  8. Ideal Sexual Position 111. How do you masturbate
  9. Do you own a toy 113. Have you ever been caught
Masturbating 114. Have you ever walked in when
someone was having sex
  1. Biggest fears of Sex 116. Do you have any STDS
  2. How often are you horny
  3. Most embarrassing sexual story 119. Are you currently horny
  4. What do you expect in a sexual relationship
  1. Where do you go to school 122. What classes do you take
  2. What grade are you in 124. Most favorite teacher
  3. Least favorite teachers
  4. Highest Grade/Lowest Grade in
  1. How long is your school day
  2. Did you do your homework
  3. Do you have any test, quizzes, or
exams coming up 130. Last bad grade
  1. Last good grade
Economic Status/Wealth:
132: Are you rich/poor
  1. Where do you stand in the wealth
class (lower class, middle class, upper
class) 134. How big is your house
  1. Take a picture of your house
  2. How much do your parents make 137. Do your parents struggle with debt
  3. Do you own a pool
(above-ground/below-ground) 139. Do you live in a gated neighborhood
  1. Do you have expensive stuff 141. How big is your room
  2. What kind of school do you go to
  1. Send a selfie
  2. Do whatever I say (no saying no)
  3. DM me
  4. Ask whatever you want (I can't say
submitted by No_Faithlessness3486 to teenagers [link] [comments]

2020.11.24 20:29 dissatisfiedfox Naked live porn

This is the first time I write my story and put it out there, I have been lurking for some time under my main account but wanted to use an alt to put my story out there and maybe get some perspective on things. I apologize if there are a lot of typos and weird formatting, English is not my mother tongue. Also, this will be long, and messy, and painful. This is me just ranting and hoping some advice might come from this as well. Maybe more than just "break up with him", I just hate thinking the kids will be affected. There is financial stuff as well, I will never be able to live alone on what I make.
So here it goes:
I (30F) met this great guy (30M) on Tinder (yes I know!!), being a single mother living on an island with under 200 citizens made dating impossible, especially since it's a place where most of the people are old people. My family is from there and I had moved back home after a breakup with my son's father, who is no longer in the picture of his own choosing. Anyway, it started great! He seemed like he actually wanted to be with me, it seemed like he enjoyed the company of me and my son. We became serious on the 24 of December 2018.
He gave me a beautiful necklace for my first birthday, saying the next time he gave me a gift it would be a ring but since our relationship was only about 6 months old he wanted to wait until Xmas. this never happened of course. He hinted and hinted once the day approached, and I got a little box, but it was with a new chain for my necklace instead of a ring. And I doubt I ever will get one now...
First D-day was before this, about 4 months in, so in April, I was playing on his wow acc. when someone wrote to him suddenly. Looking back on the chat history I saw how they had a super flirty tone, how he told her she could mount him and such after she told him she liked mount farming. How he told her he wanted to come to see her originally but then met me. Not big deals looking back and kinda silly but it was a breach of what I deemed appropriate in a relationship. I told him this and got the "you snooped, how dare you!". I laid out my boundaries for a relationship. That I actually view such things as sexting and snap sex and such as being unfaithful and would like him to stop such behavior if he was doing such. we agreed!
The second D-day, September, was him being super drunk and showing me his premium Snapchats , yes plural! He gets abusive when he drinks, not physically but mentally and he wanted to hurt my feelings since he felt I was being a party pooper for taking his cognac. The same day he had kissed a woman while being out drinking "just for fun", which his cousin who works at the bar could tell me. I reached out to this woman telling her that he is in a relationship and that we had a kid who looks at him as his real father, and if she really wanted to mess with this. They had been talking A LOT on Snapchat so I figured I should tell her this, I was obviously pissed and hurt. She immediately apologized, saying she newer could be an AP cause she had been cheated on before. She deleted him. I got blamed by him though, he felt I had no right, I embarrassed him, and I was once again being snoopy. So instead of owning up, once again he turned it back on me.
I also found he had a lot of other girls on there which he sent and got nudes, he talked dirty with and just acted a fool with. He knows the rules by now so why put it all at risk!?! I explain the rules of our relationship once more. we agree once again, but he is still mad I "snooped" and reached out to that woman.
I have since got him to stop drinking, I put my foot down, told him it's us or the alcohol. He is the sort of person who can't have just one beer to calm down, he always overdoes it, and it's a fucking shitshow for me to clean up. EVERY TIME! His parents even got called by him once to watch the shit show and how he treated me while drunk, and they were mortified.
Fast forward to may 2020 I go to check something on his pc, and lo and behold! Third D-day! Not only has he spent about 300 euros on naked pictures from girls on Kik, but he has been watching an insane amount of porn, no wonder our sex life was dying! He has also been looking into a form of the website like onlyfans, only it's very explicit. I have no problem with a healthy amount of porn, I watch it myself sometimes but I think it's wrong to watch so much that it becomes a problem in your real relationship. Once again we have the argument, this time over text. He is trying to do the "you snooped" thing again. But I lay down the rules, explain how it's wrong to go outside the boundaries we put up. Explain that once there is two-way communication it's not just porn anymore, then it's cheating. you form a relationship OUTSIDE of your relationship when you do that. And why pay for it! It's fucking free on a huge number of sites! I tell him how sad this makes me, how much he hurts me doing stuff like this. I am also cursing him and being a bit mean, I am super hurt and just want it all to go away, I want to throw away the whole damn man. He tells me he doesn't view it as cheating since it's not physical. I am fucking livid and I tell him to go fuck himself and oh btw I just found out I am pregnant so yay am I right? He doesn't believe me ofc, so I tape the test to the door when I bring his beloved PC into the hallway for him to pick up. he is staying a few days at his parent's house.
Then we reconcile, he shows remorse(!) and I am stunned. HE SHOWS REMORSE! Like it never happened before now that he actually told me he was sorry. he wasn't exactly begging me to not leave him but it meant something. He bought me flowers, while also getting his mother some, but I will take em! We decide to keep the baby after a huge amount of talks about the future and boundaries and what we want from life, we talk about my boy, who now is his boy as well. how we could be a nice family if we tried if we really worked at it. (oh boy here come the tears typing this) We get a new apartment, and for about four months things are good.
Then BOOM! Another D-day! While uploading pics to our shared photo app I see dickpics in a private album. My cheated-sense is tingling, and I feel that sinking feeling once more. I ask him "WTAF MAN, what is this?" and he spills the beans. told me he once again bought pictures on Kik, from two women. he just opened one of em and then deleted the other one and asked for a return of his money. Aaaand again with the chat about boundaries, how this hurts, and even more so since I am about 5 months pregnant. he doesn't think it makes it worse ofc and once again says he doesn't look at what he's doing as cheating. BUT I DO, and so does every sane and normal and decent fucking person.
After talking together he tells me his feelings for me are changed, he looks at me as a friend he fucks. not his girlfriend, he doesn't have romantic feelings towards me anymore. but he doesn't want to break up either. He wants it to come back naturally. But that it is hard. He says it is because I never give him space or lets him off the hook about cheating. that I am distrustful (DUUH!!) and it is unfair. Then a friend of ours told me how he told him after we had a fight that my BF feels imprisoned, how he feels like he wants to be free to do what he wants, to drink a beer if he wants to and just do what he likes. BUT that it would be mean to break up with me now that I am about to drop this baby (I am currently 32 weeks, so third trimester) and that he needs to wait until I get the baby. ofc I confront him with this, and he denies feeling like that. He says he has no such plan for the future and no such thoughts. Then why tell your friend this!?! ugh!
He talks about us buying a house together soon. He talks about our future with me and his kids with his parents and I am just so fucking confused! His parents are great btw, actually, his whole family adores me and my son. They believe I made a better man of him. Before he was a drunk 30yo man living in his parent's basement, now he is a responsible adult with (soon) two kids. He has an awesome GF in me who makes sure everyone in our house is feeling loved and cared for and have filled bellies. I do everything for this man and they all see how much I do for my little dysfunctional family. I am a caring person, that is too nice for my own good(his brother's words). His parents know all our issues, his mom and I talk about this a lot and she says she sees a whole other man from her son now the past two years (yes FFS it's only been two years, not ten!). That he cares about us, and that he would be completely broken if I ever left him. but she is also pissed at her son for being such an utter asshole towards me. They cant reach into him though, cause he just tells them to mind their own business. But she tells me he talks of OUR future TOGETHER with them, and it confuses the hell out of me!
So here I sit, heavily pregnant, with a child who looks at this man as his real father, and another one on the way who is his by biology as well. I go from being just indifferent and to having extremely toxic thoughts and mistrust for this man. I am struggling and I hope that typing it all out will help me some. I go from being completely dissolved in tears hurting so damn much, to not giving a damn as long as my kids can grow up with us both in their life. Trying to stay strong for them but sometimes when I am alone utterly failing in doing so. Still absolutely love the ass of this man, and while he has done so much to hurt me I so want us to work. He is everything I look for in a man, except the cheating obviously.
I just can't get myself to break up either! some it is because my son, who doesn't remember another dad than this man won't get the same treatment that his biological kid will. on paper, he is not his. so I doubt he will take both the kids for visiting if we break up. How am I supposed to tell a five-year-old boy that the man he believes to be his father isn't after all and that his little brothesister is allowed to go stay with daddy but he isn't? How the fuck can I ever put him through that!?! I would take a thousand D-days and tons of pain and suffering if I could know for sure that day never comes. For my kids, I can endure it all, even though it kills me to some extent.
I am not void of fault in this relationship, I have been hurt and mean. I have been super distrustful and bitter. I have been cold and maybe at times unfair. But I have NEVER cheated or ONCE let my eyes wander.
If you read this far, THANK YOU! I didn't put a Tldr in here cause I don't know how to summery this shitstorm. Sorry for the messy and ranty format. It felt good putting it all out there. even though I look like I have no self-respect, even though I look like a weak little worm with no backbone... I just... Needed to vent.
submitted by dissatisfiedfox to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]

2020.11.24 17:07 Boop108 Pandora And The Magic Box

This article is illustrated with a lot of film stills. If you would like to see the illustrated version click here.
Its not clear what Joseph Sarno thought he was doing when he wrote and directed this “film” in 1965. Pandora And The Magic Box is equal parts Gypsy Rose Lee, Henny Youngman, and Homer. If those references are too dated for you it’s a little like Kim Kardashian, Jerry Seinfeld, and RR Martin. Throw it all in a blender hold your nose and wait for the screaming to stop before you pour it out. The storyline is a disordered jumble of Grecian history and mythology cobbled together in a hopelessly complicated soap opera that the audience didn’t pay to see. They came to see naked ladies but they don’t get that. There is a lot of sheer cloth and glittery pasties but nothing explicit.
The film seems to belong to the nudie cutie genre but it does not live up to that name. Instead of nude scenes strung together by a rudimentary plot, it is a hopelessly disjointed story punctuated by occasional appearances of scantily clad women.
The film does however have three of the four requisite elements of the nudie cutie: cuties, a plot, so that it qualifies as a film and not stag porn, and lastly a string of horrible one-liners. Nudie Cuties often include these terrible borscht-belt-style comedians that harken back to the burlesque club days when strip clubs could claim to be legitimate “night clubs” by including Z list comedians. Pandora and The Magic Box includes such groan-worthy zingers as, “She’s so wrinkled that when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.” “She’s so used to getting her own way she writes in her diary four weeks ahead.” “It's rumored he’s so crooked that every time he counts his money he stands in front of a mirror. He doesn’t trust himself out of his sight.”
The film does have some interesting details. Zeus seems to be a Jew from Brooklyn. Most of his lines end in a question mark and a shrug. He has a cheap strap on beard and a floppy, cardboard lightning bolt he uses to punctuate his sentences.
Pandora doesn’t have much of a role in the film. Mostly the film is centered on Theseus who seems to be experiencing Odysseus’ Odyssey and Hercules’ Twelve Labors simultaneously. The whole mess is narrated to us by Aphrodite who breaks the fourth wall and addresses us directly from her chez lounge. She watches Theseus as he encounters the infamous Amazons but gets bored. In an effort to spice things up she sprinkles “lust dust” on everyone but the Amazons find that some of Theseus’ men are not tempted by their charms.
In an unexpected turn of events, the film includes a subtext about Greek sexuality. Using vanity as a stand-in for being gay, some of the sailors are so obsessed with working out and preening themselves that they are not “interested” in the buxom female warriors. It is easy to tell when someone in the film is horny because arousal is always announced by a comical “boing” sound effect. There are a few slide whistle pratfalls as well.
The sets are comprised of a curtain, a few columns, and some branches. There are only so many ways you can rearrange such sparse elements, but most of the film takes place in semi-darkness so it doesn’t really matter. In the end, Pandora marries Theseus? In the canonical version, he marries Phaedra. It might have been a clerical error both ladies are filed under P.
It ends of course with Pandora opening the box and releasing a whole bunch of trouble-making, half-naked ladies who tear the place apart. Again in the traditional version, the last thing in the box is hope. In this version, the last thing in the box is Theseus’ new mother-in-law. I don’t know what the symbolism of that means but the film closes with a final message from Aphrodite, “I’m sure somewhere this story must have a moral but I’m sure you’d like it better if it had immoral.”
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2020.11.23 00:40 Main-Return-8257 Naked live porn

I(31f) have been with my SO (31m) for 12 years, I would say we have always been very good friends but he has failed/not wanted to draw boundaries with his lady friends, this has taken a toll on my trust and self esteem.

  • at year one dating I discover a convo with his friend from back home where they flirt back and forth going as far as her saying how next time he’s in town she will wear a sexy dress with no undies when they meet at a local lake (I wasn’t trying to be sneaky, I had to use his laptop for school and the Convo was just there) his solution was to break contact with her and clarify that he was in a relationship.
  • year two we start living together, we go to school together, same degree but different classes, I hear from a mutual friend that a girl is unaware SO is taken so she is trying something by sending him pictures and making advances in class, mind you, we have a lot of mutual friends watching and SO is not corresponding (at least not in person) so I tell him that he should tell her he’s in a relationship in case she hasn’t noticed.
  • also year two everything is fine until I start organizing files in our joint pc and find a folder with pics of said girls above plus our mutual French class teacher, other classmates in bikinis or lingerie etc. So for me at this point, porn is not an issue at all, not even pictures of naked random girls but it’s hard to understand why to perv on people we know or how he got them. His solution was to apologize and to never do that again.
As for myself, I had a close male friend (that SO didn’t like) who confesses he had feelings for me so I stopped contact and told SO his gut was right and he asks me to block him from social media.
-fast forward to year eight when things were running way better we had adopted a dog and all, I remember he was scrolling through his phone showing me pictures from the past night’s concert and i see sexy pictures of a mutual friend who’s married to one of his best friends (funny he commented several times how inappropriate she was by posting sexy pictures being in a LTR and now married) I confront him and ask for his phone, he had a lot of pics of girls I didn’t know, some I did know but the married girl stuck to me the most because we used to double date a lot with them, why would you jerk off to your bff’s spouse? Anyway he apologized again & said no more.
-year 9 we’re kind of ok trust wise but I feel something is going on because there’s this girl loving every picture, every comment on his FB so when he leaves his phone unlocked I check it to find he’s been flirting with her, some convos I could read he says he’s in bed and how cool would it be to have the dog on his side and her on the other. I broke up with him, he seems heartbroken, I leave and can’t take the dog with me so I visit them often, he asks for couples therapy and a second chance, we go to counseling for about 3 months and then back together, at this time I have a hard time with my libido and we’re not very sexually in tune but apart from that we’re trying to be ok
-year 11 I keep beating myself for not fully trusting him and I ask him to see his phone one night out of nowhere, I was already thinking on how to apologize for my behavior when his first reaction was to leave the house in the middle of the night and come back after I was already asleep, he said there was nothing bad to hide and that’s it.
This year he also brings a friend from work he’s never talked about, I was at work, our roomate was supposed to be at work but he’s actually in his room and is the one asking me who that girl was so that’s how I found out. I’m not implying he was going to cheat but it’s grounds for me not trusting even more, I ask to be introduced to said girl and it never happens.
  • Year 12 we would kiss and make out perfectly fine until penetration is in the picture (by now I took a break from birth control pills to see if that was messing with my libido so we need condoms) every condom goes to waste so I try to give him a hand, bj, Russian, everything works except intercourse, this goes on for months (11 so far) where he will have a hard on and sometimes masturbate next to me before work but he can’t penetrate or try to make me orgasm in any way
This is also the year where he creates an Instagram account for the first time, he was always so adamant of this so when he friend requested me it was a surprise to see he already had +1k followed friends so silly me all triggered checks that list, I find almost all the girls I’ve talked about, the ones he flirted with, our married friend, lots of sexy influencers, naked models, his friend from work I never heard about turned up to be gorgeous and posting lots of sexy pictures. (Important to say that married girl or friend from work are unaware of our problems involving them, I’ve never taken it agains them)
So this is when my heart just broke, I know it sounds stupid and you must think I’m dumb for staying through all this and it’s because I probably am, some would think it’s not a big deal and it’s just pictures but after several attempts of telling him how his behavior was making me feel, after couples counseling openly talking about his lack of drawing boundaries and he still has the balls to follow those girls something simply broke in me, I sent him some captions of the girls and asked him why would he do that or if he wanted so bad to see them why adding me but I got no response, so I moved to the futon we have in the bedroom, I have no intentions of forgiving him this time but it sure feels awful to picture a future without him after all this years; to have to split time with our dog, I guess resentment started since our DB but it has punched me hard now, it’s not that he physically cheated but just the thought of me trying, of being naked in front of him and not getting a positive outcome while he was going back to his old ways sickens me and makes me feel so worthless. It’s been three nights of me sleeping apart, we have different work schedules so he’s home by midnight when I’m falling asleep and I hadn’t have the energy to confront or bring up the subject to him, I know he won’t say anything until I do and if he does he will be asking me what will happen to us. I guess what I’m doing is friendzoning him just like that and in my mind if he wants to leave he can, if he doesn’t want to see me again that’s fine but I don’t know how that would work if we both love our dog. I’ve hated the feeling of breaking up before and I’m dreading the final talk while grieving our relationship.
I don’t even know exactly what I want from you readers but advise on how to go on from here, I have so many thoughts I can barely sleep and I hate that my late night crying upsets my dog, I’m emotionally exhausted from this relationship but I’m still not ready to literally let him go and I wish I could invest in therapy but I will barely afford paying rent/bills if/when he leaves so maybe sometime in the future, right now I have the deepest feelings of hopelessness and unworthiness I’ve ever had...
TL;DR Emotional cheating plus DB made me friendzone my 12 yo relationship (not sure if this is ok for a tldr)
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