2012.04.30 01:24 Samanthasinn3 Young lesbian voyeur
2019.04.25 19:44 StupidMario64 LGBTQGENERAL
2020.11.25 07:19 itxgumi How do I know what sexuality I am?
Hello, my name is Aliyah, i’m 17 and my pronouns are she/her :) I’ve been identifying as a lesbian for 3 years but i’ve never been so sure if that is correct... it’s been a really confusing Journey for me since i’ve never been in a relationship where I felt attraction to my partner, i’ve dating both boys and girls none have I been sexually active in. Most of the relationships ended cause either I didn’t show enough affection (mostly because I was scared and never felt like I was “in love” I just saw them as close friends? But i just told myself that if I dated them i’d eventually learn to love them more then a friend... that never happened) or cause the relationship was toxic.
I want to be in a relationship, I want to be able to find love even if i’m still young, I want to experience what they sing about in those mopey love songs. Why do I seem to be unable to feel attraction towards people of any gender? yeah I find girls pretty and stuff but that’s not the same as affection or love, right? am I just not ready to be in a relationship? what if i’m like this forever? I don’t want to be like this forever, what am I? what is my sexuality?
Any help is appreciated, thank you❤️
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2020.11.24 16:00 plumgum Young lesbian voyeur
TLDR: the title
I always hear this from people who are full on gay, but never from other bisexuals. All the bisexuals i know have had some "realisation", or were "straight" because of being brought up in religion and then realising they can date the opposite sex later.
I just thought I'd ask because it'd be nice to hear from someone who had the same experience as me – I've always known i was bisexual, it was never a question, in my mind it wasn't deviant or strange, in fact it seemed so natural and sensical to me that i literally thought everyone was bisexual. As a kid as young as like 8 i had crushes on people regardless of gender. I only realised i was 'different' (bi) around age 15.
I'm making this post because im listening to a podcast rn (We're Having Gay Sex) and the youtuber Alayna Joy is talking about her realisation that she wasn't bisexual but in fact a lesbian, and she was talking about comp het (compulsive heterosexuality). I've known about that concept for a while but it never occured to me to question whether i had it. I really dont think i do, i know im just being a bit paranoid but uhhhh yeah can anyone else relate ?!?!
Im SORRY for the wall of text and if you actually read my ramblings then thanks. I dont frequent this sub often so idk if this has been mentioned before but i searched a bit and couldn't really find much (idk what ur suppsoed to type in to find something like this lmao)
If it makes a difference im 24f
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2020.11.24 12:25 aspecialunicorn I came out to my mum. I’m 37 years old.
Background: I’m married. My partner is gender fluid but not out officially, so known as exclusively male to everyone else. We’ve been together since we were 11.
As a teen I hid my attraction to women with a lot of denial. I told myself I couldn’t like women because I liked men too and I wasn’t a lesbian. I still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when my brain finally said “but you could be bisexual.”
I didn’t begin to accept it until I was in my 20s. Then I slowly began to come out to trusted friends, and got the response “but you’ve never been with a woman, how do you know?” a couple of times. It’s so invalidating to struggle through those teenage years, stroking a fucking picture in a magazine of a pretty lady and crying my eyes out at how confused I was, and be doubted about it just because I had never dated a woman.
My partner came out to me as gender fluid, so I now have both a husband and a wife depending on the day. My feelings have never changed regardless of their presentation. I love him as a guy and her as a woman. During lockdown he’s managed to grow his hair and change his presentation to what he calls ‘neutral’, which works for him. (I use him in this neutral stage so I don’t slip up to anyone else. He has said he doesn’t care what pronouns people use for him either so it works.)
In my 30s I was more comfortable, but terrified of coming out to my parents. My Dad died suddenly last year, and I hate that I never shared such an important part of my heart with him because of fear. And it’s so, so important to me, I am who I am and being in a straight passing relationship doesn’t change that.
I was chatting to my mum a few days ago, and she happened to say something about how my brother and I could never say anything that would upset her. So I just said “I’m bisexual” and burst into tears. She calmed me down, thanked me for telling her and said I was brave. She said everyone has different stories and that’s okay. She said if I hadn’t met my partner so young then sure, things might have been different, but that would have been okay too. She was completely not bothered, which I did know because she’s never been homophobic or anything, but hearing it about ME was huge.
So, I’m 37, and finally fully out. I no longer have to worry about a stray Facebook comment, or something I said making its way back through to the family, etc. Because I don’t care what my extended family think, she was the one I cared about knowing. It feels so freeing. I’m so happy.
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2020.11.24 08:37 FemmeFeather Young lesbian voyeur
TW: Bad mental health and sexual assault mention
Ugh it’s sounds so stupid but I get flashbacks or panic attacks if I hear a certain gay slur. I fucking hate it. Whenever people use it (99% it’s not even used in a malicious way) I just go into panic mode.
When I was sexually assaulted when I was a young teenager, the rapist made me say the word over and over again and now I just associate it with him. It’s also sucks when people think I’m pretending because if I seen in written or said in a tv show I’m fine. But if someone else says it irl (especially people I know) I kinda freak out.
My new girlfriend (I’m a lesbian) was asking me if there’s stuff that makes me feel uncomfortable and I told her I get triggered by this certain word and she was completely cool and just said “Oh I kinda say that word a lot but I’ll stop!” She didn’t mind at all.
I don’t know why but I feel so guilty and I started to back peddle and said it honestly wasn’t a big deal if she does. But it kind of does and I really hate it. Because I know so many gay people who reclaim words like queer and d*ke and I get it! They want to take power away from those words but this word has so much power over me.
I just wish I wasn’t like this...
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2020.11.24 07:01 vulpecula19 Voyeur young lesbian
I don’t know if writing it out will help but distracting myself is impossible so I guess I’ll try. A TV show unexpectedly triggered me a few hours ago and I’ve been anxious and felt sick ever since.
Sometime when I was a kid—not even sure what age but around 8 I think—I was molested by another kid. I think he was around 10 or 11 based on what I can remember about him. My parents were on a date so they left me at this daycare place. I’d been there before and it was always fine.
The boy first convinced me to play “house”, along with another boy who was younger than him and didn’t know him either. At first it was normal. There was this big plastic play house thing in the middle of the room, and we covered it up with blankets. He made me pretend to be his wife and the other boy pretend to be our son. Most of it is a blur and there are huge gaps but I remember he made me kiss him while the other kid was watching (and not okay with it), and his tongue was in my mouth. The other kid said something I can’t remember and he said “you’re not supposed to see this, son” but also wouldn’t let him leave. I remember his hand under my shirt at some point. I don’t remember being physically forced to do anything but I didn’t want to do any of it and he would alternate between begging and bullying until I went along with him. Honestly I think he may have been re-enacting some kind of abuse or witnessing something he was too young to understand.
The staff never did anything until after I got out of there somehow (I don’t remember leaving the “house” at all) and I was trying to avoid him but he kept following me around begging to do it again. I gave in eventually saying only one more time because I wanted him to leave me alone. I think it was after that when a staff member finally noticed something was off. They lifted up the blankets and I guess we moved away fast enough that we didn’t get caught, but they said we weren’t allowed to be under there with blankets so they couldn’t see.
They never said anything to my parents when they came to get me. My mom found out because I told her about him kissing me while we were in the car and my dad was inside paying. I don’t remember anything that happened after that.
I also have a very fuzzy memory of being in what looked like an ER with a doctor doing a pelvic exam (not sure if it was just looking or an internal exam, I only remember a few seconds that aren’t clear) and my parents were there but off to the side. I’m assuming they took me to get checked out but I don’t know for sure. I had an ER visit when I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes around the same age, so for a long time I assumed that was related and just never gave it a second thought. When that makes no sense.
I’ve remembered what happened for a long time but it’s like I just never thought about it; it was so far back it never crossed my mind. Earlier this year I was like “oh shit, was that rape?” Even thinking about it makes me feel like vomiting. I don’t remember all of it but what I do remember is so vivid, and I feel like not knowing makes it worse because I don’t even know what happened to my own body. I don’t know how far it went but I think it went further than just kissing and I blocked it out.
I think a lot of things I’ve noticed over the years are effects of it. I’m terrified of sex. I’m nervous around men except for a select few, especially if they’re significantly larger than me or very stereotypically masculine. I had a coworker who was a heavy man over a full foot taller than me and knew him for months and I still hated being anywhere near him. I’m also constantly on edge and thinking about how I’m vulnerable in those situations. If I’m alone at work and a male customer comes in I have thoughts like “if he attacked me there’s no one to help me”. Even if they’re the nicest guy ever. Around guys who are straight/give me the impression that they’re probably straight I have a constant fear that they’ll find me attractive and that idea makes me uncomfortable, and scared they’ll make a move. I’ve had and still have male physical therapists and doctors, and always tense up whenever they have to touch me or be close for an exam/treatment (not talking about pelvic exams or anything, I mean even just listening to my heart).
I’m also bisexual, technically, but I say I’m a lesbian because I have zero desire whatsoever to date men. I can be and have been attracted to men, but usually in TV shows or movies because I don’t feel threatened then. The thought of doing anything sexual with a man is disgusting to me even if the attraction is there. I’ve dated men before and we never had sex, but the idea of it horrified me. The emotional connection was there and very real but that was it. I’ve dated women since, still never had sex because unfortunately the relationships didn’t last and because I’m terrified anyway, but my god was it so much different. This part doesn’t bother me so much because my family is accepting and I’m perfectly happy dating women, but it’s just another possible effect.
Note that I’m not saying my assault made me gay at all. I think I’ve always been bi, and the trauma has made it very difficult for me to connect with men or feel comfortable enough around them to be interested in them.
This was really long. It’s probably the most detailed account of it I’ve ever written and I fucking hate it. I don’t care if anyone reads all of it or not, I just want the images out of my head.
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2020.11.24 01:25 mountainclimber7 Voyeur young lesbian
I can't believe I'm making this post, but I figured why not do so to get not an extra opinion. I'm not depressed or necessarily upset about anything, and I don't need words of encouragement/a pep talk, just genuine advice.
I'm 23 years old now, but I didn't have a great father figure growing up. My dad has all the symptoms of aspergers/autism, and it runs in my family, so we're all of the opinion that he's likely autistic as well. But regardless, he definitely isn't really a manly guy or the protective type at all.
When I was young, I definitely encountered some mean kids, but the worst was when I was younger and with a family friend's kid. He was a pretty big kid, and he forcefully dunked my brother and I when we were all in a pool once, not fully drowning us of course, but basically doing the equivalent of beating us up in the pool.
Going into 9th grade, I lost my friends because cause I felt they were treating me poorly by teasing me and the like, and I got mad at them/fought back, which just made things worse as they enjoyed seeing my reaction. So I stopped hanging out with them. Then the rest of my highschool career I continued to get a lot of flak for various other reasons, and was generally treated poorly/low on the totem pole. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a total loser, but since I lost most of my friends after freshman year, it made it more difficult.
Fast forward to junior year of college, I had the absolute worst roommate in the world. A guy who took advantage of my niceness, had his girlfriend over all the time without asking me, and was generally just a massive jerk. Dealing with him was a whole debacle, but I'll leave the story for another time. He wasn't bigger than me, and was more of a losebeta male than me in a lot of ways, but I let him walk all over me essentially and never put my foot down, so that definitely did a number on my confidence (although frankly, I'm not sure how much of it had to do with me being a coward per say or me just being too nice/wanting to avoid confrontation).
I have some more stories, for instance at one of my last jobs one of my coworkers, a giant guy, did a small play slap to my face. My other coworker said to me "you're gonna let him treat you like that? You're a grown man" to which I replied that he was just joking. I remember something similar happening in highschool when a kid untied my shoes and messed with me during driver's ed and instructor told me to standup for myself. I guess from my perspective, I didn't see it as being that big of a deal in both cases.
I've just continually found myself in situations where I'm the guy who is made fun of and not respected. I've been criticized and teased for literally everything you can imagine. I don't wanna make it seem like I've never had any friends or that I've always been uncool, because I managed to make a ton of friends in college and be fairly charismatic, but I've come to really see myself as a misfit.
I really do think that people take one look at me and see me as a beta male or something. I'm around 5'11-6'0, but I look somewhat young and I've gotten a fair bit of jokes about looking like a lesbian before.
I of course could be in better shape, so I've been doing some basic bodyweight exercises to gain some more strength, with the eventual goal of buying some home equipment or getting a gym membership. And losing weight is another long term goal of mine, I've always had a few extra lbs.
I'm aware being muscular is not what makes someone a man. But I also know it won't hurt to stop being a skinnyfat weakling, and I'd definitely benefit from the discipline alone. And also, I am working on a career, albeit slower than most, but I'm aware I can't live the rest of my life as a NEET. I guess I just need some general advice, considering I didn't have a role model growing up to give me any. Thanks
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2020.11.24 00:36 wingz_and_ranch Voyeur young lesbian
reposting on here, I really want as much advice/support and as many perspectives as possible
TW: I am a 25 yo female in a cis hetero relationship for the past 5 years. We have only had a relationship with each other, no other experiences otherwise. I have noticed for a long time that since I was young I had feelings for females too. Having a cute classmate touch me on the shoulder to tell me how soft my sweater was sent a shock through my body. I always associated my strange feelings towards women to be because I experienced sexual abuse by a female as a child. Recently, I realized that my feelings were more than that, and that I didn’t just have “girl crushes” I had GIRL crushes. I grew up (and still live in) a very christian anti-gay household. Anyways, I have also had feelings towards men. I wouldn’t say the wave shock that I did with some peer females, but I definitely feel romantically and physically attracted to men. With my current SO I love him very much. But we have always had problems with sex. I am on antidepressants and also have hypothyroidism, plus the anti-sex household rhetoric, so my sex drive isn’t very high. I can’t orgasm without a vibrator, even on my own. Long story short, we talked last night and I’m confused about liking women too. For the first time in my life I’m thinking of women romantically and sexually. I’m afraid, because what if I had sex with a woman and liked it more than with males? I love the man I am in a current relationship with now. I see a future with him, but obviously my confusion is a major issue. He wants me to hook up with a woman or have things open so I can figure out if I am bi or a lesbian. I am sad because I don’t want to open things up. I love him and I like things the way they are. But he’s right, I can’t just string him along and realize 15 years from now “hm maybe I like women better.” We are stuck now and don’t know where to go from here. After what I revealed to him, he wants some reassurance or some way to figure out if I am a lesbian or bisexual. He truly does care about me and wants to do whatever I need to do to figure out my sexuality, because we both agree it isn’t something that can go unexplored, but I simply do not feel comfortable getting involved with other people. And if I don’t, there’s no solution it feels like to ameliorate things in my relationship.
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2020.11.24 00:27 wingz_and_ranch Am I bisexual or a confused lesbian in a long-time hetero relationship?
TW: I am a 25 yo female in a hetero relationship for the past 5 years. We have only had a relationship with each other, no other experiences otherwise. I have noticed for a long time that since I was young I had feelings for females too. Having a cute classmate touch me on the shoulder to tell me how soft my sweater was sent a shock through my body. I always associated my strange feelings towards women to be because I experienced sexual abuse by a female as a child. Recently, I realized that my feelings were more than that, and that I didn’t just have “girl crushes” I had GIRL crushes. I grew up (and still live in) a very christian anti-gay household. Anyways, I have also had feelings towards men. I wouldn’t say the wave shock that I did with some peer females, but I definitely feel romantically and physically attracted to men. With my current SO I love him very much. But we have always had problems with sex. I am on antidepressants and also have hypothyroidism, plus the anti-sex household rhetoric, so my sex drive isn’t very high. I can’t orgasm without a vibrator, even on my own. Long story short, we talked last night and I’m confused about liking women too. For the first time in my life I’m thinking of women romantically and sexually. I’m afraid, because what if I had sex with a woman and liked it more than with males? I love the man I am in a current relationship with now. I see a future with him, but obviously my confusion is a major issue. He wants me to hook up with a woman or have things open so I can figure out if I am bi or a lesbian. I am sad because I don’t want to open things up. I love him and I like things the way they are. But he’s right, I can’t just string him along and realize 15 years from now “hm maybe I like women better.” We are stuck now and don’t know where to go from here. After what I revealed to him, he wants some reassurance or some way to figure out if I am a lesbian or bisexual. He truly does care about me and wants to do whatever I need to do to figure out my sexuality, because we both agree it isn’t something that can go unexplored, but I simply do not feel comfortable getting involved with other people.
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2020.11.23 23:50 throway12345_ Young lesbian voyeur
I’ve never been one to be interested in hookups or anything like that but I’ve hit a slump I want to get her out of my head I don’t want a relationship or anything serious right now I just want casual sexy fun and enjoy my “young” years while I have the chance but I’m not sure what to do.
I don’t have a lot of friends since when I got with my ex I dropped everyone to talk to her and the friends I did keep are childhood friends that I know for a fact aren’t interested in me sexually and even if they were interested they’re all in relationships or lesbians
I’ve tried so many hookup apps but it seems like all the women on there just want money and unfortunately I am unemployed and can’t and won’t pay for sex
So I’m currently alone and horny as fuck not sure where to go or do next I miss physical affection because ever since covid hit my town I didn’t see my ex at all so in total it’s been about 7-9 months without any type of intimacy wether it be hand holding kissing hugs NOTHING. and I feel oh so terribly lonely I’m not really in the mood to build friendship with people for a one time thing nor do I wanna pay for sex so what do I do I’m stuck and am not sure where to go or what to do
If it does come down to me having to make friends with random girls I don’t mind but my “game” isn’t really good I haven’t had to flirt or anything for about 2+ years so I’m very rusty and dry I’m also not looking for any type of online buddy I want to be able to be with them irl and do things irl
Any advice with my situation would be greatly appreciated.
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