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2009.07.24 08:21 malanalars Sex camera

Film Photography subreddit. Ask anything about analog photography, share photos, discuss techniques, gear or famous photographers.

2020.11.25 16:12 Every-Definition6466 Sex camera

I’ve posted on here before but I need some advice again please read off all of the details as it’s a complex problem :
Me and my gf never reall had sex the only thing we did was rub my penis on her vagina for a second no penetration no ejaculation. But she’s 5 weeks late now here are the facts:
•day 11 late she took a digital clear blue and it came back negative
•day 12 late she took a blue line test that gave a very faint blue line
• day 14 late she took a first response red line test and got a very very faint line you cud barely see on camera
•day 18 late we took a digital clear blue and got not pregnant
•day 19 she took another digital and it came back not pregnant
•she is is now 36 days late and the doctor is telling her to take the abortion pills but didn’t rest her and said she might aswell which is risky so i advised against it as were only 16 and this can he dangerous and she is anaemic and can suffer from blood loss.
• I’m thinking about testing her one final time I’m sick of faint lines so should I take a digital please give some advice ?
submitted by Every-Definition6466 to abortion [link] [comments]

2020.11.25 16:11 Every-Definition6466 I need advice ASAP Period 5 weeks late

I’ve posted on here before but I need some advice again please read off all of the details: Me and my gf never reall had sex the only thing we did was rub my penis on her vagina for a second no penetration no ejaculation. But she’s 5 weeks late now here are the facts:
•day 11 late she took a digital clear blue and it came back negative
•day 12 late she took a blue line test that gave a very faint blue line
• day 14 late she took a first response red line test and got a very very faint line you cud barely see on camera
•day 18 late we took a digital clear blue and got not pregnant
•day 19 she took another digital and it came back not pregnant
•she is is now 36 days late and the doctor is telling her to take the abortion pills but didn’t rest her and said she might aswell which is risky so i advised against it as were only 16 and this can he dangerous and she is anaemic and can suffer from blood loss.
• I’m thinking about testing her one final time I’m sick of faint lines so should I take a digital please give some advice ?
submitted by Every-Definition6466 to amipregnant [link] [comments]

2020.11.25 11:36 RatTrap79 Sex camera

I have just finished the first season of Cobra Kai and I thought I'd write down my thoughts before moving onto season 2. I should say before I get started I absolutely loved this show and binge watched it in basically 1 day. Nevertheless, I do have some major criticisms around how the show was made.

I think the story structure of this show is good and they definitely had good ideas around how they wanted the plot to progress. Everything with Johnny teaching nerdy kids rather than Jocks and the conflict with his ex-wife and son in contrast to the fatheson dynamic he'd built with Miguel was golden for the character.
However, I do feel that pretty much everything with Daniel Larusso felt really stilted for what I expected. This may be me personally but he just didn't feel like the same person from the original Karate Kid film, and yes I know it's been 30 years and people grow, but I could definitely see aspects of the original Johnny, but little of the original Daniel. I feel to make his character stronger they should have created more of a disconnect between himself and his children than the small amount that was developed. There was a great opportunity to show more of how his biological son wasn't what he expected him to be, and how he could be almost toxically filling this space with Robby to the detriment of his relationship with his real son.

I should also talk about Robby, who I feel was the character with the most potential in this show, but was sorely let down by a lack of screen time, overuse of tropes, and if I can be brutally honest - bad acting. Robby had so much potential to develop alongside Johnny and create conflict there, but for the entire show they barely interact at all. Why didn't the scene with him spotting Johnny giving Miguel the gi end in conflict? You're telling me this kid who was basically abandoned by both his father and mother and obviously holds a lot of resentment towards that just decided to walk away and hatch this convoluted plan to get back at his dad by....working at Daniel's car dealership?? If he was contrasted more against Miguel and we were shown his growth more I think I would have liked him a lot more. We followed Miguel through the entirety of his training and even with the heel turn at the end I was rooting for him to win the competition, all we saw of Robby's training was him doing the old stuff from the original film and standing on a tree for a few hours.
I think the dynamic that works best and if there was more time to explore it would have been really interesting was the dynamic between Miguel and his family and then on from that the dynamic between Miguel's family and Johnny. I would have liked to see him take on more of a psuedo-father role within the family - maybe helping out around the house and stuff, before realising he should have been doing this for years for Robby which could have spurred an arc where he tries(and fails) to reach out to Robby and be the father he needed.
The twist ending though was amazing, I'm extremely excited to start season 2 to see how Johnny's old coach will affect him mentally and the dojo itself.

Technical aspects (Especially the fighting)
I am a long time combat sports fan and I must admit before I start I am much more partial to MMA, boxing, and Muay Thai among others to the usual point based karate/taekwondo competitions. However, I think when making a show about karate - especially a fictionalized version of it, that it's important to make it look good and strong. If I'm honest, the only people who's fighting I remembered looking really good were Johnny, Hawk, Miguel(at points) and some of the background actors from the tournament. I understand that they were on a limited budget, but I do feel it would have been best to either invest in a proper choreographer or better yet find actors with prior experience in karate or similar sports. Robby is the worst offender for this, he looked slow and stiff and nowhere near Miguel's level, it was hard to believe he'd get any points up on him at all.

If I'm honest, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I'd assume that there was little to no proper combat consultation on the show. Of course big fight scenes like Johnny's initial one against the bullies, or Miguel's one in the cafeteria have to look good and cinematic, but I believe scenes like the tournaments would have benefitted from looking more like an actual combat bout. I've linked a few videos from Stephen Thompson, a UFC fighter who specializes in Karate and someone who I believe would have been able to give the fights in the show a little more flair while still remaining realistic. I have also linked clips from Edson Barboza, a kickboxer who I also believe's style could have been inspiration for a more realistic style.
Clip 1
Clip 2
Clip 3
Clip 4

Moving on from the fighting, my biggest technical gripe with this show was the camera work and some of the direction. I'd like to say now that I will admit I'm probably a bit biased here as I am British and I recognized immediately that the way this show was shot was a lot more American than I'm used to. I won't go into what I mean by that here, but I assure you it isn't intended to be an insult, I just find them very different ways of going about making a show. DM me if you'd like me to explain more.
Regardless, the camera work at time just felt off to me. There are far too many reaction shots from characters that are unneeded and make some scenes feel quite stilted. On top of this cutting back and forth constantly between speaking characters made conversations feel off as well to me.
The best part of the show direction wise are the parts that call back to the original film. Seeing the older actors contrasted with the grainy 80s film footage is amazing, and the scene where young Johnny initially discovers Cobra Kai is the best in the show.
This is a harder bit for me to go into I think. I recognize that the show probably didn't have the biggest budget in the world compared to other shows, but I don't feel that makes it exempt from criticism. You'll have to forgive me if I refer to some people by their characters rather than their real names. Zabka is great as Johnny and definitely comes more into his element as the series progresses. I felt he was a little bit stiff near the start, but really loosened up as Johnny bought the dojo. If I'm honest, Ralph Maccio was serviceable, but not really all that great. If I'm honest I'm not really all that surprised as I felt the same about him in the original Karate Kid. However he doesn't take away from my enjoyment at all, and plays Daniel as well as anyone would I think.
I hate to rag on him, but Robby's actor was a really bad choice for this. He feels really stiff and emotionless, especially in scenes where he should be feeling a lot of emotion rather than just his usual straight face. This could very feasibly be a problem with direction though rather than the actor, but the scenes where his mum brought back a guy to the flat and where he see's Johnny and Miguel really strike me as off considering he doesn't really react at all as I can remember? He should have been raging or really hurt but to me he just came off as a bit miffed at best. Also he definitely needs a haircut, it sounds cruel but it genuinely made him all the more unlikeable for me with that hair.
Demetri genuinely steals every scene he's in and Kyler was really amazing as the bully, he was immediately unlikeable even down to his body language and voice.
I think the biggest problem with the acting in the show is people holding back too much. Even minor characters don't go all out on their emotions. The prime example of this is the screaming mother at the tournament, like she's meant to be this mega fan but when she cheers it sounds like she's holding back??
Acting Tier list:
God Tier:
Johnny (as it went on)
Little blonde kid who bought porno
Tournament Announcer
Random guy who made speech at tournament
Good Tier:
Daniel's coworker who's always talking about sex
Ok Tier:
Daniel's mum
Johnny's dad
Not Great Tier:
Daniel's cousin
Bad Tier:
Daniel's son

Overall this has came off as a very negative review, but despite it's flaws I immensely enjoyed the first season of Cobra Kai and have recommended it to a lot of my friends and family. I am very excited for season 2 and how the plot/Johnny's growth as a person will be handled.
submitted by RatTrap79 to cobrakai [link] [comments]

2020.11.25 11:05 Mess_Fluid I had “sex” for the first time

Almost last week, I (16M) went to Target because I wanted to buy some chips and as I was going through the section, I met this other dude (19M). Lets call him Tyler. So I was looking for my chips and I noticed Tyler kept on glancing at me so I turned my head and he looked away quickly. I could’ve been nicer, but I said “Take a picture it’ll last longer” luckily he didn’t take it the wrong way cause he said he would’ve but he didn’t bring a camera. I’ll admit I was kinda embarrassed but he was young looking and cute. We chatted for a bit and exchanged Instagrams and I went about my day enjoying my chips.
Two days later I get a DM from Tyler and I’ll admit I was kinda surprised he texted me. We started talking about the most random stuff like how his cat could stand on command and how we both like the smell of hotel sheets. He seemed like a fun guy and after talking he asked me to go over to his place when his brother leaves. Of course I was like hell yea and so we set the date for the Saturday that just passed. I was really excited to go over. I dressed casually and shaved. I took the bus because he didn’t live that far and he said he would drop me off after.
I get over to his place and he welcomes me in. I could tell he smoked a joint cause he was giggling and it smelled. He told me that he set up a movie and snacks and I thought the set up was really cute. So were about 40 minutes into the movie (it was Avatar) and I kinda leaned over to him. I didn’t think much of it but he lowered his arm from my shoulder to my lower back. I looked at him confused and he was smiling and he pushed himself on me.
Next thing I know he’s taking off my shirt and unbuckling his pants. We start making out and he asked if I was a virgin. I told him yea and he said that was really hot. I was just really scared of what was gonna happen because I didn’t actually think I was gonna get this far. We started to have sex and I just remember that it hurt really really bad and I wanted him to stop. He said he would go slower but I was just wasn’t comfortable at that point and so I told him to take it out. He apologized and told me he’ll be more gentle. I just felt so stupid. He started to go again and it felt a little better until he started to go fast again. I told him to stop and he wouldn’t. He started to get angry and said if I start acting like a “little whore” this wouldn’t be an issue. He apologized and asked if he could just finish what “we started”. I didn’t want him to get more angry and hit me so I said okay. Once it ended we just laid there and I didn’t know what to do. He said he was sorry and he didn’t mean to hurt me. I just said it was okay and I took my stuff and left.
I took the the bus straight home and just sat in my room feeling confused. I felt so dirty and ashamed of myself. I blocked him immediately after. He just seemed like a real nice guy and I wanna forgive him. I just regret going over to his place. I’ve calmed down since then. I really do like him a lot but I don’t wanna get hurt again. I’m thinking about asking him to meet somewhere public to talk about what happened.
What should I do?
submitted by Mess_Fluid to Advice [link] [comments]

2020.11.25 05:44 TheHarborRider Sex camera

Photographed document.
Magnifying is needed to read via your computer or printout post brief total awareness of this intelligence sponsored subject matter and Mr Edwards's intelligent? response share with your local Police Dept military and all other fellow citizens I'm a team player related to the noughty and nice hypothesis of the human condition hope your like me keep sharing…
Each fellow unit. 2 of 4.
2 of 4. Each fellow unit of individuality, should become more familiar with their nine internal psychological factors (collectively experienced & ignorant), in lue of remaining externally focused via symbols abstractions and stereotypes. Self analysis. We all experience the finality of one or more of the following psychological factors in a social sphere of reciprocal influence from birth onwords via the conscious state (As I, via this brief) Power prestige competition status exploitation patriarchy symbols abstraction stereotype. The finality is apparent via feedback interpretation internalization (instant by instant) from birth onwards which accounts for our individuality and development along with other factors, nutrition to name but one. Targeted victims can be influenced physiologically in many ways with subliminal suggestion. Diarrhea. Constipation* to name two.(*if victim don't give give themselves 25 grams of fiber a day*). Stealth duplicity organizational unity and subliminal suggestion are collectively in effect. (This has always ran this planet). In this era, wireless technology, radio transmitters, transistorized microphones and speakers. (The latter, in all mattresses from manufacturers based on experience). Unknown individuals in intelligence had me victimized by the criminally minded after being reduced to homelessness as of early 1980's
To recruit the criminally minded
To employ for takeover operations & for self gain. (WikiLeaks NSA CIA hacking tools software. I get hacked to prohibit messages. volume of aircraft crashs is large per year due to software malfunction, & pilot misjudgment. (You tube).
3 of 4. way one can be made def
3 of 4. Six ways one can be made defenseless at a critical moment in a street altercation with subliminal suggestion used on the victim. All in impulse form. Statements are commonly used as psychological stimulus to activate. (1) Paralysis when victim is touched they are free of that, one time for that one. (2) Loss of equilibrium. (3) Amnesia item or otherwise. Was shot with this one, Park Police, murder conspiracy under the pretext of legality. (Via these tactics) lots of good cops die via this subject matter. (4) Lassitude. weakness when punching or useing a black jack. Victim should follow up a second time. (5) lack of confidence. (6) apathy a.k
a. indifference. Extreme self-centeredness and suicidal, this state last 90 seconds. Emotions desires and delusions can be induced. Should anyone "intelligence" or otherwise, want to take your photograph. And request you look into the lenses of the camera do not comply. The photograph is to connect the victim to a psychic warfare device to prompt the victim to commit suicide. Physical reality is an electromagnetic spectrum. We can only see eight wavelengths reflected in the color spectrum. Extreme self-centeredness & suicidal. This state of mind lasts 6 hours and slowly dissipates. The first few seconds are critical. the psychology of the victim will determine their probability of survival. I survived it. Group photographs social. Airline pilots jet pilots. "Say cheese look at the camera" periodically. Intelligence motivated audio video laser surveillance techs in all neighborhoods and apartment complexes working with criminals conspiratorially. Like the erstwhile flu virus, current one is administered by aerosoling the victim with the tactics. When tested one might be "positive" when not. Last child welfare organizations in U.S. selling young girls and children into sex slavery after the courts take them from their parents. The result of intelligence criminals infiltrating these organizations, with the "tactics" (My interpretation). Blacklisted news article. 76346 February 23 2020.
Astro projection. 4 of 4.
4 of 5. Astro projection. In order for one to be able to astral project one needs to know how to focus. If one can speed read 10,000 w.p.m. (which is aligedly tops,. but not necessary) one knows what "focus" means. Choose something to visually stare at, (a visual fixation point) such as a spot on the wall or anything else. How long the 1st. time depends on degree one can FOCUS. (That's why I mentioned speed reading). Just prior to one leaving their physical body the need to blink stops one's visual reality (180 degrees) will turn into a series of black edged squares' the largest on each side of the head becoming smaller uniting at one's visual fixation point. At first this hallway of squares will be stationary then simultaneously both sides will move forward quickly to ones visual fixation point' one will see a splash (such as a drop of water) then one is out of their body. Conceptualization is one's car-fare to travel, if one does not imagine going anywhere, one returns to their body in about 5 seconds. One can travel anywhere one can imagine, to return to one's body all one has to do is imagine doing so. It might be possible while in the desimbodied state to imagine one has bodily sensations which would permit one to walk around, if so, one would have to first emagine being in the normal desimbodied state in order to reestablish themselves with their body. If one is skeptical inquire about Buddhist self-immolation. It may or may not be indicated on Wikipedia. Last. Be sure to do this in a secure a.o. lest an enemy harms your physical body because awareness can't be in two or more places at a time unless they have the INPUT. Published account. 7000 leaders 12000 situations of rape and sex abuse. Boy Scouts of America. "A study in character, values, courage, nobility honestly, & selflessness, who embodies the very best in our wonderful society" By John Kennedy Toole.
A world famous auther ("A Confederacy of dunces") about Mr. E. D. Edwards Jr
Share these messages.
"Evil flourishes, when good folks (woken up), do nothing"
submitted by TheHarborRider to conspiracytheories [link] [comments]

2020.11.25 02:57 Swinging-Downunder Sex camera

Hi everyone,
We did a free virtual event over Halloween as a way to connect the lifestyle community and have a bit of fun whilst sharing drinks. We're doing another one on December 19th for Christmas and thought I'd send an invite out to fellow redditors who might be isolating over the holidays
We're wanted to create an event where we can try and spread a bit of cheer when 2020 has been a bit of a kick in the nuts
Register here -
If anyone has any questions please don’t hesitate to reach out. It’s free to attend and you do not have to show your camera, you can come & text chat & share in the silly season (hosts will be on Camera)
So, if you’re isolating at home this Christmas and dreaming of events from last year with your lifestyle friends.... come join us
Want a reason to get out that Christmas outfit or your ugly sweater?
Join us for 3 hours of lifestyle Christmas fun, games, mingle events, cocktail hours and giveaways. Sponsored by naughty elves Casual Swinger Podcast, Swinging Downunder Podcast, Sapphic Swingers Podcast and Swingers Help blog. All tickets are FREE, come and dress up and hang out with your fellow naughty elves.
Note; this is NOT a sex event, there will be no nudity or sex rooms on camera so please don't come with that expectation. This is just a way to spend 3 hours having some fun, drinking and dressing up to talk about lifestyle related things. Literally just goofing off for the holidays!
If you have any questions at all please drop them below and I'll be happy to answer.
submitted by Swinging-Downunder to Swingers [link] [comments]

2020.11.25 00:49 AutoNewspaperAdmin Camera sex

[Top Stories] - Sex, drugs and security cameras: Touring Geylang, Singapore's legal red-light district | CNN submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments]

2020.11.24 23:28 pinkstrawberrymilkk Sex camera

trigger warning.

When I was fifteen, I dated a boy with severe mental health issues and suicidal tendencies. When I dated him, I was only a child, and I admit to being with him because he made me guilty. I also suffer from a serious eating disorder, so we had this little "understanding each other" thing.
He cut me off from all my friends and made me feel as if they weren't there for me. They turned against me because they've had traumatic experiences with him as well.
When I was dating him, he moved quickly into sex. That's an understatement- instantly, it was about sex. It seemed to only be about sex. He touched me when I wasn't ready, and when I told him to stop, he did it again a day later. I couldn't bear it and tried to break up with him but then he'd send me pictures of his self harm or a noose hanging on the wall and told me he would kill himself. He also spoke cruelly to me often. But other times he'd call me an angel and tell me he was there for me when no one else was and fifteen-year-old me gave in.
When I finally broke up with him, I was isolated. I had no friends throughout the rest of sophomore year and until second semester of junior year when I met a group who didn't know him. My original friends were weary of me and act awkward whenever I reach out to them.
Now, I'm in senior year. Today I joined a club I was interested in. I really, really love the club and what it does. It's run by my favourite teacher. I also got nominated for this INCREDIBLE scholarship but I need tons of extracurricular experience and this particular club would look awesome. It's a team that ironically, supports equality, human rights, and social justice.
But he's in the club. I had no idea until our first meeting today, when the teacher put us in a breakout room and we were staring at each other, face to face. We were both silent. It was really awkward for the other team members, who have no idea what's going on. I was breathing heavily and I'm not sure if people could tell. I had a panic attack on camera.
I don't know what I'm feeling. A mixture of fear, uncertainty, despair, and a fucked up twinge of... I almost miss him sometimes. I almost miss him. I almost miss that time. What the fuck.
Please, tell me what I should do. Do I stay in this club that I'm passionate about, one of the clubs that will help me get my scholarship? Do I carry on? And how do I calm down ? I can't breathe, that's the best way to describe how I'm feeling.
submitted by pinkstrawberrymilkk to ptsd [link] [comments]

2020.11.24 18:25 sektorlj Sex camera

In the last few months I was suspicious my girl is cheating on me but now I got a proof. I was thinking how it's hot to imagine that but now when it happened I have mixed feelings. Partly I do find it hot but partly it pisses me off completely.
The guy she cheated on me with had a camera in the room and he sent me the video of them fucking from fake profile. He wrote me everything and said how he do that to every girl that is cheating, and also promised the vid will never be published anywhere and no one will know as much as he concerns.
So I'm writing this to take it off of my chest and would apretiate to know if someone else had this feeling and what you did. As I didn't know how to write it I'll go from start to the end and pointing what I find hot and what I don't.
[Piss] It was this Saturday night, I knew she was out and everything added up to the point she told me she was at the same place whole night. But that guy actually said they met on the other place (where she usually doesn't go) and it turned out to be a truth as I trapped her and she did tell me eventually she went there.
[Hot] He said he didn't have to do much. He approached with the drink while her friend went to a restroom, she seemed neutral about it but she also didn't reacted to his hand on her bare thigh. They flirted a bit, she said she has a boyfriend at first, and when he said he's only looking for a sex she was “okay with that”.
[Piss] She agreed to get in a car with a drunk guy and she was even more drunk. He took her friend home and they went to his place. She had her own place, empty, they could gone there.
When the camera turned on she went into a room and she teased him how she's going to sleep and she took off her shirt. She was wearing sheer blue bra and a thongs she weared very very rarely. His next move was so hot but made me so jealous and angry. He grabbed her neck from the side and pulled her to himself. She had the sexiest smile ever and then she told him “Oh you want to go that way?” he asked which way and she replied “Daddy”. Why? No! I mean, she's very submissive with me too, and I don't even like that “Daddy” thing. But whenever we had sex or talked the conclusion was that she's less into that than me so I was trying not to go too far and she's calling him daddy?
[Hot] When it comes to sexual part it was so hot watching her suck him and make him enjoy it. She really does it amazingly good.
Then him undressing her and that feeling I got he's exploring and enjoying her very very sexy body, touching her, doing what he wanted with her as it's not hard to dominate her as she's petite. Her moans, her body, facial expressions, her body movements, bouncing tits, that nice big ass, moment he put it in and slightly painful look on her face she makes before the big smile... I was also turned on by some things I find very hot. How he grabbed her hair and throat few times, how he held her strongly around her waist and her hips when he fucked her from behind, how his hand was placed on her belly while he was going all the way in, the way he enjoyed her tits, from kissing, licking nipples pinching and sucking them, to smacking them and squeezing them while he fucked her and in the end making her orgasm and unloading his cum all over her tits and body.
[Piss] There were also parts I found hot but that pissed me because either she knew how I feel about it or I never knew she feel in certain way.
First thing was him cuming on her face after the blowjob. Was it hot? Yes! She had it all over her and her make up was messed up since then so I do find that very sexy. But she doesn't like that! She never wanted it over her face, she was always taking it in her mouth and swallowing. And I'm not fine with that also. Maybe it's bit weird but in my crazy mind (where a lot of crazy things are okay) her face being covered in other man cum is totally degrading and humiliating.
Second thing was the rough sex she initiated from begining and ended up being very dirty and rough in some moments. I mean, I just don't feel very nice seeing her enjoy while some guy calls her cumslut, submissive bitch... (most of the things I can't even translate to English), smacking her ass that hard, slaping her face (she literally made him do it), probably having a few bruises now.
Just to finish the story when camera turned off he said they did it in shower also before she went home. She told him to forget this happened before she took off and he actually admit that she's one of the few girls he'd have sex again with. I only asked him why did he approached to her and his response was “She was dressed very sexy and her legs caught my eye. I had feeling it could be an easy catch”.
That's basically it. I probably missed one or two points but it doesn't matter. Just one more thing, if you're here to judge, don't, just skip it.
submitted by sektorlj to cheating_stories [link] [comments]

2020.11.24 15:27 h3lpm3int3rn3t Sex camera

I don’t remember the sequence of events anymore, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is, it’s happened multiple times over the span of our two year relationship, and every time, just like everyone else here, I hurt a little more.
Once, it was old nudes from a girlfriend he “forgot about.” Maybe he did. They were old. He doesn’t delete text conversations, really. Fair enough.
Once, it was some girls on Snapchat with Pornhub accounts. He used to have one. I knew about it, but decided it was fine. I thought, he made it when he was lonely before we dated, and it probably felt good to get a little attention. I didn’t think he’d be trying to make new sexting friends. He says he deleted the profile and any contacts he had from there. I don’t think I asked him to, but I was relieved.
Once, it was Omegle. I was disgusted (and angry and sad and betrayed). On a website where a little kid could be watching, having his dick out on camera. Did he not think of that? He says he didn’t. He promised he’d never do it again. I’m pretty sure he did, though. I can’t be sure. I thought maybe I hadn’t drawn the boundaries clearly enough, so I made sure to be clear this time. No live chatting with other women, via any medium. No exchanging nudes via snap or elsewhere. I think it was this time where I discovered he had a FetLife profile, and he said he was only on there to get ideas/advice before we went to a swinger’s club. (I’m open, or was open, to transparent and honest group sex as long as I’m involved and we discuss it beforehand.)
Once again, it was Snapchat. The most recent time. I saw a questionable selfie from someone. Not overtly sexual, but directed towards him only, with lots of cleavage. It turns out, he bought her OnlyFans. He says he purchased things from the site twice (I don’t know who the other girl was). The rest, he followed free accounts. I went back to look for his account, but I could find nothing. The only reason I knew about the OnlyFans is because there was a password reset e-mail I saw, but that wasn’t there anymore. Did he delete it? Did he take it to another e-mail? I wish now I’d have figured out how to log on to see what he was following, what he had spent. The one girl…he used to be friends with her. I saw that 8 or 9 years ago, she was tagging him in things on facebook. They were friends. Maybe more. He confessed to having a reddit account for porn - including posts of himself.
Also the most recent time, he made a very big spectacle, trying to leave the conversation several times, crying, dramatic movement. I actually screamed at him, despite at least one roommate being home. To sit down. Because we need to talk about it. It should’ve been a bigger red flag at the time, but I started by asking him what he thought I’d found on his phone. And he wouldn’t answer. He said, “just tell me.” So I know there is still more to it than he is telling me.
He’s the one who used the word “addiction.” I think it’s true. I don’t know if he is committed to stopping. Supposedly, his first goal was going to be “no nut November” and he swears he’s been clean this whole time. I try to be encouraging and celebrate milestones. But the truth is, I don’t think he would tell me if he relapsed. Even though I try reminding him that the lying hurts the most. Even though I directed him to this subreddit, where almost every person says the same thing.
It *seems* like this time was different. It seems like he feels truly sorry, and doesn’t know exactly how it escalates so quickly (which is what he says the snapping is – escalation). It seems like he wants to overcome his issue so we can have a happy relationship. He lamented that his other relationships ended for similar reasons – and he was at fault. It seems like it hurts him to hurt me, and I’ve read first-hand accounts by men saying similar things in related subreddits. It seems like he’s making an effort to do other things, like streaming on Twitch or sometimes going to bed earlier than usual. (We work different shifts, and he generally stays up later than me because of it, which is what I would do if the roles were reversed, so no major red flag there.)
But reading all these stories, it’s so hard to know if it’s real or if he’s placating me. And if he’s placating me, I wonder if he’s struggling internally, angry with himself, or if he doesn’t care, but likes having someone around to feel less lonely.
He briefly got angry with me for not being able to trust him. He seemed to change his mind when I reminded him of all the lies I know he’s told, and that there are probably more I don’t know. I told him I may not be able to trust him fully, but I believe that he can change if he tries.
I haven’t told *anyone* any of this. I don’t want anyone to view him differently or judge him. That’s why I’m here. I just wanted to share all these things I’ve been silently thinking about almost every day since they started. I’m hoping if I get it out, and if I come here when things get rough, I can start to actually feel better. If you made it this far – I thank you for reading. And I hope we can all heal from this.
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2020.11.24 15:26 kawaii_cum Camera sex

I'm jealous of stereotypical female sexuality
I'm a bisexual switch male but all my life I've mostly felt forced into a dominant straight cis presenting role and I hate it. I cant help but look at my girlfriend and other girls and get jealous about their sexuality. Everything from the cute outfits, underwear, swimsuits, makeup, shaving/hairless, the cool sex toys, the options for sex work, more likely to have sex positive friends, easier time finding partners of any sex, just the option to be slutty, submission, double penetration, how much more encouraged same sex experimentation is. All my life I've wanted to be the girl in porn in front of the camera being dominated and sexualized. Sure I can have most of these things as a male but it's really not encouraged by 99% of the population. More often than not I feel sexuality restrained by the sex I was born as.
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