My sexy mom nude

2018.02.14 02:44 Flirt Club

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2018.06.19 05:05 Candlematt My sexy mom nude

show us your sexy moms. past, present...who cares!
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2020.11.28 23:39 TwoaUno My sexy mom nude

My girlfriend’s birthday was the other day. So obviously I had(and wanted to) get her a bday gift. I was thinking about it and decided that I would get her a nice thong. She likes thongs and she was gonna get more typical bday gifts from other people. This would be a gift only I could really get for her. So I got her a really sexy g string thong that I thought she would like. Ordered it secretly and put it in a box with birthday decorations on it. Fast forward to Bday party. We’re all having a great time and it becomes time to give her her gifts. Everyone is giving her nice but typical bday presents. You know: nice pictures to put up, gift cards, nice wines. We get to mine and she opens it up. Her face turns red. Her mother nearly drops her drink and is like”Ay dios mio.” and laughs a bit. People are laughing a bit or jokingly whistling. I thought it was a nice present and the funny reaction made it a memorable bday gift. She says thanks before she quickly puts it away.
We get in the car to leave about two hours later. She lets me know how upset she was. Saying that I humiliated her in front of everybody. I tell her that people were laughing with her, not at her. She’s like”You got me a fucking porn star thong for my birthday in front of my MOM!” I tell her to chill out and that it wasn’t a big deal. Now she accuses me by saying”You got that thong for yourself.” Not true. I mean yeah, I would love to her ass in that thing but she also wears thongs and I thought women liked wearing sexy underwear. We argue the entire ride home with her defending her point and me defending mine.
Safe to say I did not get to see her in that thong that night or ever since. AITA?
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2020.11.28 22:10 Funnylittlecreature9 Sexy nude my mom

One time I walked in on my mom and step-dad getting into sexy-time while I was getting ready for school and his nipples were weird and flakey and my mom was saying weird kinky shit and I was 11 and I cant stop thinking about It.
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2020.11.28 16:51 SEXWORKA My sexy mom nude

Alright first off, I’m not doing this shit every week. Kinda ruins the fun, ya know? I actually wasn’t going to do it this week, but fuck it I woke up still irritated by this episode.
SCOTT:
YOU AND LINDSEY ARE A MATCH MADE IN HELL! See what happens when you make choices with ill intentions,both of y’all! Scott, I promise, Terribelle ain’t giving you the threesome you want. If they do, you’re about to get ROBBED! You know how I know you’re a liar? Cause you be lying to Lindsey acting like she’s GiGi Hadid’s sister knowing full and damn well she’s looks exactly like how they show you drug addicts look in school. I just don’t like all this lying
You a terrible detective and you’re a fucking creep. “She must’ve been a psycho or fucked bad” that’s creepy. If anyone makes you feel like you need to stoop that low, GO FIND AN ESCORT, DUMMY! And you got caught lying again saying “oh that wasn’t in reference to you” so you calling the ex psycho you stupid broke lopsided bitch.
LINDSEY:
I’m surprised nobody’s called CPS on you cause you’re willingly putting your child in danger for selfish reasons. Can we get serious for a sec and talk about how dangerous this is? There are endless cases of men turning violent and hurting the mom and child just because they’re upset. Not to say Scott is this crazy, but if pushed to a point he can be. Anyone can be.
Ok Lindsey isn’t ugly, but she’s not model type. Not even just her face shows she used drugs heavily, her body, her demeanor, how she talks, her eyes, EVEN HOW SHE SMOKES CIGARETTES!
However, to be fair, she’s probably not lying about writing the excerpt from the book. I like to read and in jail, they take that shit away from you sometimes or you probably borrowed it and need to give it back to avoid a fight. I’ve personally wrote down certain parts in books so I can “read” after I returned the book. But she’s a liar so I’m not defending that hoe on my good name, no ma’am.
Also, you’re the devil in the flesh. You sat in that man’s face and lied with a straight face knowing damn well he’s a nut, but he’s not wrong. You proudly state how you’re using him and have no love for him (also let’s point out TLC’s poor editing because she goes from loving Scott in confessionals to playing him). For someone to lie that easily, is someone who can’t be trusted. AND HAS ZERO BUSINESS HAVING CUSTODY OF A CHILD!
LAMAR:
This part made me so emotional. I’m so glad he finally put his foot down and introduced his daughters. And y’all kept telling me to go easy on him, hell no. Did y’all see the pain in his oldest daughters eyes? At the end of the day, before he’s a husband he’s a father. And as a father, you should always advocate for your child, no matter how old. He failed that at first but I’m happy he’s getting better. Remember, women come and go. Love comes and goes. But his daughter will always be his daughter.
DESTINE:
Again, TLC’s poor editing skills cause we knew coming into the episode she wasn’t pregnant, yet the beginning of the episode she expressed how’s she’s scared she’s having a miscarriage.
YOU CANT HAVE A MISCARRIAGE WITH NO MIS TO CARRIAGE. THERE’S NO BABY you Shiesty ass pit bull mf. She gets me heated cause Shawn can pay for problem free pussy and STILL save so much money. Idk why Destine is seen as some sex symbol knowing the only thing she symbolizes is jail tattoo and being raggedy. And her fucking sister is in on it too. Like I don’t like Shawn but it’s real fucked up to hold someone’s 50K over their head (let me find a man willing to put 50 K down for me 😩)
SHAWN:
You cannot seriously be that desperate for pussy. Destine is not it bro. Listen fuck all that, hmu cause I got a better use for 50K than a courthouse holding it hostage baby xoxo call me 😍
He stopped reading by now I’m about to hit a lick y’all 💯🙏🏾💪🏾
ANDREA
I personally don’t like Andrea, I think she’s a very nasty spirited person. I’m super intuitive and she gives me bad vibes so I don’t even acknowledge her much. Even the first episode, it was just a off vibe. As a black woman myself, I don’t appreciate black men being fetishized, especially black men in prison. The whole “gangbanger” fantasy is disturbing as fuck. It’s similar to when white women only like black men to have mixed babies. It’s super weird and therapy is needed, STAT
ANDREA’s SON
I KNOW THATS MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT! GET HER! Listen I know that’s your old lady and all but someone had to cause she’s acting a fool with that inflated ass shirt. The example she sets is disgusting and I’m glad you as a brother advocated for your siblings, your youngest one specifically. Don’t let yo momma stop you from being a good person. It’s toxic as fuck and embarrass her every time you get. Period!
SHOVEL
You a dumb ass broad, imma scam you next. And fuck TLC cause they convinced us she was a big lady and all she is is a fucking linebacker bobble head. Like her body is small asf.
“The best way to get over a man, is to get on top of a new one” I KNOW THATS RIGHT! Listen to momma cause you trying to find a replacement baby daddy and that’s weird folk.
MICHAEL(Sara’s baby daddy?)
Point me to the person who keeps encouraging this sex symbol title they’re trying to give you. I’ll fuck Quaylon before I’ll fuck Michael. Scratch that, I’ll fuck a branch before I’ll fuck Michael. I don’t get it I think he looks like muscle mind.
HE’S NOT SEXY! He’s not ugly but I promise he’s not just pulling (anyone with sense) bitches as much as they’re trying to portray. IM A HOE SO I KNOW OK? I KNOW HOE BEHAVIOR AND HES A FRAUD!
He looks like a big toe in a plaid button down
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2020.11.28 15:11 brihow84 My sexy mom nude

https://imgur.com/MAGDf68
Finally ready to post my tiny collection. I feel like the one thing my collection is missing (for me) is a true 'winter scent'. Starting on the back left of the tray and moving clockwise:
Lady Gaga Fame - Big Gaga fan here so I bought this the day it came out. Love the orchid combined with Apricot in this. Though it's not technically unisex, I've never felt like I couldn't pull it off and have never gotten a 'are you wearing womens perfum?' type of comment.
Louis Vuitton Afternoon Swim - Birthday present from my mom last year. My first step into more luxury fragrances. It's such a gorgeous scent - it was love at first sniff. Big refreshing blast of citrus/grapefruit and the sillage is pretty great, especially for a 'freshy'.
19-69 Chronic - I've always loved patchouli and I have to say that this brand's marketing and packaging really did sell me. This scent became my signature for this past fall and I loved that if I sprayed my neck I could still smell it through my mask :)
Aesop Hwyl - Blind bought this in the summer and was immediately repulsed by the camphoric, almost 'sleeping bag' notes. It's like a forest scent on crack. I ended up just putting it away for a couple months and then tried it again on a whim and....somehow....loved it. The nose is such a strange unpredictable thing. I have no explanation but it's such a calming and refreshing scent to me now.
Aesop Tacit - Beautiful green, herbaceous, basil and yuzu scent. This one feels like one of the biggest crowd pleasers in my collection. I just can't imagine anyone not liking this unless you just hate fragrance. This would be a great signature scent.
Le Labo Another 13 - My most recent buy. This scent is just magic. I've read so many descriptions and reviews of this scent and I still have no words to describe what it smells like. It makes me feel clean, sexy and sophisticated. I'm excited to experiment layering this with other fragrances.
Marc Jacobs for Men - My signature scent. I've had it for years. The fig mixed with cedar is intoxicating and seductive. Perfectly balanced and my biggest compliment-getter.
Etat Libre D'Orange Someone Like You - Bought at the height of summer and that's what it's perfect for. It's like the fragrance version of a big ice cold glass of mint lemonade with some gentle rose petals. The most refreshing thing I have perfect for extreme heat.
Versace Pour Homme - Had this one for a long time but don't wear it very often. It smells great but kind of feels like a sexy drunken night out in the summer. Super fresh and clean and maybe a bit generic smelling. It's a crowd pleaser but not complex or sophisticated at all.
*Special shout-out to my Aesop Room spray and lotion that are off the tray. The room spray is Olous and smells incredible - herbal, citrus with a hint of spice. The lotion is their Geranium leaf and is equally beautiful.
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2020.11.28 07:49 allamabutlazy My sexy mom nude

So I'm questioning if I'm demisexual because I've only ever felt sexual attraction to my ex. My mom and my sister talk about how hot or sexy actors are and how they want to have sex with them and I've never understood that. Like do people just see a hot person and feel sexual attraction or is it just my mom and sister?
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2020.11.28 07:24 KittyUchiha Mom sexy nude my

6:00 in the morning was the time you decided to start working on your school project. Of course, that was yesterday, but Kenma had taken it upon himself to come at the exact same time as he did the day before. You glared at him as he walked through your front door. "Dude, what is wrong didn't you learn that 3:00 is way too early?" "Huh?" He looked confused. You punched him in the shoulder and pouted. "I mean, why are you here, so early, again!?" You had to whisper yell because your parents were still asleep. "I thought we could cuddle again today." He said. Your cheeks flushed a light pink as you stared up. "Or if you want something more, I brought these," Kenma said pulling a bag from his sweater. "What's in the bag?" You ask curiously. He started walking over to you, as he had been standing by your bedroom door while you were sitting upright in your bed.
You were about to grab the bag from his hand but quickly felt your head smash into your pillows. Kenma was holding you down and hovering above your body. You knew your cheeks were burning brighter the longer he held you in this awkward position. "U-uh, Kenma." You stuttered watching the way his mouth formed a knowing smirk. "Yes?" He asked.
It was unbelievable how much he could keep his cool. You wondered what it would take to get him as flustered as you. Though you were too shy to really do anything. "What's wrong?" He spoke again." "What's in the bag?" You squeaked. "Is that all that's on your mind right now?" You stayed silent for a moment thinking of what your next move would be. However, Kenma did not move. The bag in his right hand on the side of you stayed still as well. You eyed the bag and Knema caught on. He stared into his eyes as if daring you to make a move. You smile and snatch the bag from his hand.
"What's wrong?" You asked sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and sat upright on your bed. You opened the bag and inside you saw two pairs of pajamas. You pulled them out and gazed at the pair of onesies. "Cute!" You said. Walking behind Kenma, you started t strip. "Don't turn around till I say so. K "Okay." You through on the onesie. "I'm a cat!" You say. He smiles. "Yeah, now turn around so I can put mine on." "Okay fine." You did as you were told.
"Are you done yet?" You groaned. "It's been like 5 minutes." "You're over-exaggerating." "I am not." You huffed. "Okay, I'm turning around because I feel like you just testing my patients." You lean on your hill, but before you could spin around you felt a border stopping you. Then you feel Kenmas breath prickle your neck. "He's...so close." You turn your head so he can see just the slightest bit of your eyes. His hand grabbing your waist and pulling you in as he spoke. His voice calm, collective, and sexy. "What's wrong." You feel yourself heat up and at the moment you moan, which caught Kenma off guard, but he went along with it. As he did, you started to think again, "I wonder what it would take for him to be as embarrassed as me." Taking a leap of faith you turn around and kiss him, pushing him against your dresser. Though it didn't turn out how you expected. "Why is he not flustered?" You nearly screamed in your head. It took everything out of you to turn around and kiss him, but now he just seemed to smile even more.
"What was that?" He asked as you pulled away. "A-a kiss." You managed to spit out under the heat that clouded your face. He chuckled a little, "You call that a kiss?" Even though you were red in the face, you still had the confidence to look up and give him a little glare. He stared at your figure for a moment, before speaking, "Can I show you what a real kiss is?" You gasped. "He's concerned about that? Awww, he does care." You thought. You nod your head and he leans in to kiss you. He looked at you one more time, just in case, but you had already smashed your lips with his.
Kenma was surprised once again, but it didn't take long for him to push back, wrapping his arms around your waist. You placed your areas firmly on the edge of his neck, pulling each other closer with every sound your lips made. You were nervous when he pushed you onto your bed, but you also felt excited. He pulled apart from you for a second as you noticed the time. "Shir." You thought, "My parents are." "Y/N!" You heard your father call from the kitchen. Both you and Kenma froze. "What- what do I do?" "Respond." "Wha--." "Y/n?" "Uhh yeah, dad I'm coming." "Do you have someone over?"
"Were doomed." You thought. "Uhh, wh do you ask?" "Because there are shoes in.." Your dad walked into your room to find Kenma and yourself sitting on your bed. You looked to be going through some notes. Your father concentrated his mind and introduced himself. "Oh, it's just you." Your father had met Kenma the day before. They were somewhat acquainted at least enough for your father to know who he was. Of course, you had left out the part where you two were semi dating.
Honestly, you didn't know what you were to Kenma and didn't want to push it either. You just hoped that sooner, he would let you know eventually. "Well, since you here, might as well have breakfast then." "Umm, sure." Your father nodded, then walked out of your room, closing the door behind him. But, as soon as it had closed, your room door opened again. "Why are the lot of you wearing cat onesies?" "Uhhh, it was for a.... uhh..." "Dre." Kenma finished. "Right. We were dared to dress up as twins and walk around outside." "In....onesies?" He questioned suspiciously. "MMhmm!" You said. "Alright, then." Hearing your father shut your door for the second time, you and Kenma stared at each other, your hands muffling the sound of your laughter.
Your mom had finally woken up and sat across from you at the kitchen table. "So, are you two almost done with the project for school?" "Yeah." You answered. "That's good, I'm glad." She smiles at you, then turns to Kenma. "So, are you too friends, or." "Actually, I'm Y/n's boyfriend." You spit out the water you had just consumed. Looking at each person's expression slowly and carefully. Kenma looked calm, "As always." You thought, rolling your eyes. Your mother looked extatic. Then you faced your father, who was eyeing the two of you carefully. You couldn't quite pin point what expression he was making, but if looks could kill."
"What, I'm so happy for you guys!" Your mom praises, breaking the silence. "You chocked on your words, "Uhh, yeah...thanks." "Mee too." You heard your dad speak. "I was sure nobody could handle Y/n's attitude. You gasp, "How could you say such a thing, hmmm." He chuckled, "I'm just kidding Y/n. You know that."
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2020.11.28 02:02 eezoqueen My sexy mom nude

First of all, I already posted my experience in a few other subreddits only to get called “crazy”, “dramatic”, and be told that my therapist is an evangelical nut job from the 1950s, so hopefully I’ve found the right place to actually receive some of the advice and understanding I’m looking for from others who have also experienced a similar situation as me. This is a very sensitive subject for me, but I’m at a loss for how to move on since therapy isn’t helping much. This is very painful and takes a lot of bravery to share publicly, so if you have nothing nice to say, kindly don’t leave a comment. Thank you.
Last year, my husband of almost 4 years (almost 3 years at the time) was caught red-handed with his porn addiction. It has affected me deeply and profoundly. It might help to give some background on me to see why I’m so traumatized by this and some background on my husband to get some perspective...
My father was a serious porn addict when my parents were married and I was a little girl. My parents seemed good together, but by the time I was 5 years old, fights started breaking out between my mom and dad and my father’s porn addiction started coming to light (I would see pornographic screensavers on his desktop computer that I had the shield my little brother from looking at, so I would tell him to look away while I turned the monitor off, porn DVDs on the TV that I would walk in on, etc.) The fights included my mom scolding him about the porn a lot. My dad started sleeping on the couch and by 9 years old, my parents got divorced. My mom got full custody and I barely saw my dad at all throughout my childhood. When I did visit him, I had to hide the porno DVDs and screensavers from my brother again. My dad barely tried to reach out to see my brother and I. I suffered from abandonment issues throughout my life. I didn’t realize it until I saw a therapist, but my self-worth issues and trauma about my husband looking at porn in secret is heavily tied to my dad and his porn problem. In my childhood brain, I essentially connected that my father left me for porn.
My husband was sexually abused by a neighbor as a young child. He blocked it out and only remembered this after he got arrested at the age of 18 for sexually molesting his sister for years. He saw a therapist that performed hypnosis on him after that, and he remembered. The therapist explained how this trauma is what caused the desire for him to do what he did. He ended up going to jail for a year, getting addicted to drugs when he got out, went to rehab a few times, and went back to college. He’s since gotten his degree and is successful working in his field, and has been sober for years. He had already been sober for years prior to me meeting him. I was made aware of his past shortly after we got together, because he wanted to be completely open with me since he really liked me. I was understandably disturbed at first, but I really liked him too and I chose to forgive him for his past mistakes. After all, he was abused as a child and served his time and he had been sober for a while. He told me how he used to be obsessed with porn as well (multiple times per day, every day). We established early on in our relationship that porn had no place in it, and that he wouldn’t use it. He assured me that it wouldn’t happen and that he didn’t feel the need for it anyway since I was his “perfect girl” and he was so attracted to me. Overall, I chose to see the many good parts of him, grew to love him, and I married him. We had our first child shortly after we got married.
So flash forward to last year in November. We had been married for almost 3 years at that point and our daughter was 2 years old. I was turning on our PS4 one night to start looking for something to watch on Netflix. I flipped to the web browser, because I think I was trying to find information on an episode of a TV show or find somewhere to watch it online, and I saw the thumbnail - “petite girls pics on Pornpics.com”. I was immediately horrified, my stomach dropped, and I felt sick. I confronted my husband about it immediately. He denied knowing what it was. He was the only other person in the house that used the PS4, and I had a “sixth sense” that he was keeping something from me for months prior to this, so I just knew. Every time I would ask him about my suspicions, he would deny it and say “I only want you”. So, he kept denying that he looked at the porn site and played dumb for a while, pretending to try to find out where it came from. All the while he was white as a sheet and looked scared, so I knew he was lying. Then I went outside for a minute to catch my breath and get some air. He followed me out there to talk. I asked him one more time, and he confessed. I was super pissed that he lied to me and extremely hurt and betrayed. I asked him if he looked at it more than that one time and if so, how long he had been doing it for. He told me he had been looking at various kinds of porn in secret for ~6-7 months, during times I would be watching the baby in the other room, or doing housework. He did it while pretending to “use the bathroom”. He lied to me for months about this and I ignored my intuition screaming at me that something was off the whole time (I found that he visited the profiles of his ex girlfriends at one point which really sent me on a spiral of suspicion over his actions, and I just would repetitively ask him if he was looking at porn or seeing someone, to which he would respond that he only wanted me and that he “didn’t do porn”). I was shocked and felt broken, unwanted, disgusting, ugly, etc. He tried to comfort me and tell me I was better than any of that, and his only excuse for looking at it was “stress”, “inadequacy” to provide for his family (we were living in my mom’s house at the time). I asked him why he didn’t come to me when he was stressed, then he spewed some bullsh*t about how he “didn’t know” and that he “had uncontrollable desires” that he had to fulfill. We had sex weekly, sometimes multiple times a week, so this also confused me. He even tried to blame me for it at first, saying that he looked at it because I never wanted to have sex, which as I stated, didn’t make sense. And I also want to note that I’m in way better shape physically than I ever was when I first met him. I started working out and eating healthy after I gave birth to our baby, lost a ton of weight, and I looked my absolute best, so this further confused me as to why he would want porn. He would always go on and on about how hot and sexy I was to him.
I initiated seeing a therapist after this all came out. She told him how porn has no place in our marriage and that he has a lot of work to do to help me trust him again, but ultimately it’s up to me to decide to trust him and believe him. She diagnosed him as a porn addict. He expressed how the porn is not nearly as satisfying as being with me sexually, so he vowed to stop. He felt really bad and he never meant to hurt me. And my therapist told him outright, because of my past childhood trauma with my dad’s porn and the betrayal that this was to me personally, that if he ever looked at porn again, it would be the end of our marriage. He seemed like he understood and has told me that there hasn’t been any porn since it all came out, both in front of the therapist and to me in private. But it’s hard to believe because he would be really good at hiding it at this point if he did look at it since he’s already been caught once. He’s also a really good liar, and has lied to me on many occasions about little things, only for me to find out later that he lied. So I have major trust issues with him.
He’s been really bad about helping me through this, continuously defending himself and giving excuses for his porn addiction when I get upset about it again and need to talk. And last night, I was looking through YouTube video history only to find “petite hot girl shakes her ass” related videos in there, from a long time ago, but still traumatizing for me to see. I felt like I relived the moment again. He found me looking like I witnessed a murder or something, my whole body shaking. Full on PTSD reaction that I wasn’t even expecting myself - I thought I got over it more, but clearly not. He failed again to show that I’m more important to him than his porn defense, played the game of “trying to find out where it came from” and playing dumb again, while I was shaking and having a panic attack the whole time, disregarding my intense emotional reaction. Both the therapist and I have told him that he needs to show me that I’m more important than his porn defense, because there is no defense for it, and focus on showing me the love I need when this comes up so I can begin to trust him again, but he fails to do it.
How do I move on from this? I’m at a loss for what to do since he clearly doesn’t want to do his part to fix this trauma in our marriage...therapy isn’t really working and we can’t afford it anymore...he just repeats the same defensive behavior rather than showing me that I’m more important than his porn addiction. I’ve told him plain and simple what I need from him, the therapist has told him, yet he selfishly chooses protecting himself every time this situation comes up or simply lays there, belittling himself and calling himself a loser and getting depressed. Last night was his big moment to show me that I was more important than defending the porn on the screen, that his first priority was making me feel like he loved and valued me, and that that was in the past. But he chose the porn instead. Again. I can’t divorce him since we have a child together and I can’t make enough money on my own to support a child on my own since I have no college degree. I’m stuck with this situation and financially rely on him completely. If we didn’t have a baby together, I would just leave him, but I can’t. I can’t get over this pain and trauma, and I can’t get away from it. I feel lost.
If I get any more comments about how I’m being “overly dramatic” or “crazy”, I will just delete this post. Only serious, kind, and supportive comments please. I don’t need any more pain in my life.
EDIT: I just want to say that I was not expecting such an outpouring of support. It brought me to tears and I finally felt like I wasn’t alone. It’s been a huge comfort to me to finally hear from people who understand what I’m going through and stand behind me. I’m moved and so, so appreciative. Thank you to everyone in this community. It has been therapeutic to share this with you all. I feel a little better knowing that there are others like me, but also sad that this is the case. Thank you for the prayers and the advice I’ve received - it has been very helpful to gain a better perspective. I’m eternally grateful for all of you. THANK YOU!
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2020.11.27 23:53 DeeDee_slut I'm feeling a little insecure about my girlfriend's best friend seeing her naked, what should i do?

My girlfriend and her best friend are EXTREMELY close and I don't mind that. They've seen each other naked and shit yada yada like all best friends. Every week of our anniversary or so, my girlfriend'll leave me some sexy pics. She gets nervous about me not liking it because of her exes, stepdad, and mom. Me and her best friend were talking about it because she was a little nervous and she said do you wanna see or whatever and I asked what she meant. She told me she was really nervous so she had her pick out what sets to wear etc (she'd be too nervous to ask me). She said do you wanna see her cheeks or not so I kinda just said no and left her on read and me and my girl did our thing and we had some alone time etc.
I know they're best friends and I also know she'd NEVER cheat and all that good stuff, but it just made me feel a little off. Is this normal for girls and should I be concerned or should i push away the thoughts
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2020.11.27 18:40 94yrsold My dad's bipolar disorder killed him.

Please don't read if sexual abuse triggers you. I don't want anyone to have an anxiety attack.
My dad wasn't the best dad. He wasn't exactly abusive, he was more neglectful than anything. He didn't want to be a dad. He wanted to be my friend. At times, I was his parent. Calling 911 when he was going to kill himself, making sure the bills were paid, and taking care of him when he pissed himself from getting drunk and high on pain pills. I was doing all of these things at 16. I didn't hang out with my friends, I didn't go to parties, I dropped out when I was 17. Because I had to take care of my dad.
I didn't move in with him full time until I was 12. My parents divorced when I was 8, but he left my mom when I was 5. She was basically forced to take care of two young children because my dad couldn't keep it in his pants. He was constantly cheating on her, until he met his "true love" as he liked to call her. He left us, went to go live with her 8 hours away, and only saw us every other year until I was old enough to decide I didn't want to live with my mom.
You see, when I was 7 I finally told my mom that the neighbor had been sexually abusing me for years. He got arrested, tried, and sentenced to 2 years in jail. But for some reason this wasn't enough to convince my step mom that it happened. She convinced my dad that me and my mom were using it as a ploy to get him back. Around that time, my mom started becoming unhinged. Her mother had schizophrenia, and I'm almost positive she has it too. Imagine being 13 and deciding that living with your neglectful dad and abusive stepmom was better than living with your schizophrenic mother.
My stepmom hated me. Any time I made a mistake, it was on purpose, anytime I cried, I was trying to manipulate her. My dad didn't care that I was suicidal at the age of 12. He loved her; she could do no wrong. He let her and her family step on me. He didn't care. All he cared about was getting laid, drinking, and snorting pain pills.
Remember how my stepmom said I was making up my sexual abuse for attention? She never let that go. She would constantly remind me of it. I spent years thinking I had put an innocent man in prison. It messed me up. She refused to let me go to therapy. She was convinced that her 18 month online degree in social work was better than an doctorate degree in psychology. She was convinced that I had not exhibited any of the symptoms of sexual abuse. When I wet the bed, I was doing it on purpose. When I regressed from a happy, normal child, into a fearful, withdrawn one, it wasn't the trauma I endured. According to her, I was autistic.
I spent a lot of time alone. I didn't have any real friends, I wasn't allowed to join any extracurricular activities. I was alone. Then, when I was 15, my step sister accused my step brother of rape. At the time, I didn't believe her. Her other kids wouldn't let me. They convinced everyone she made it up for attention. I remember they asked me "Did stepbrother do anything weird to you?" I told them of the time he tried to get me, a 15 year old, to watch porn with him, a 26 year old married man. They ignored me. They pretended I had said nothing. Because this was normal in their family. Stealing your sister's underwear, telling a child "You're gonna be so sexy when you grow up," was normal. But, despite what they thought, the court didn't agree. He was charged. Years later, he was electrocuted and became mentally disabled. I guess karma bit him in the ass.
My stepmom left my dad after this. We moved out. At 16, I became his parent. I took care of him. I made sure he was up in time for work, I made sure he was eating. I wasted my youth to care for a grown man. Because of everyone, him, my mom, my stepmom, and her family, I was never able to do anything. My teachers told me I was smart, my family told me I could do anything. But because of them, I was stuck being a parent.
At 19, my dad went back to live with her. He sent me to live in a homeless shelter because I wasn't allowed in her house. It was okay. I would rather be eating literal shit under a bridge than live with that bitch. The part that hurt though, was that my dad let me. He let her hurt me. He let me live in a homeless shelter filled with drug addicts and alcoholics who constantly hit on me. It wasn't all bad. I did have friends my age there, we hung out.
Eventually though, I got fed up and went to live with my mom. When I got there, I remembered why I left. Rotting food in the fridge, a disgusting house, being woken up at 4am every morning to her stomping in my room to tell me how "I had a vision today. I predicted you're gonna get pregnant. Your dad is gonna die. Why aren't you listening? You need to listen to me." Eventually I went back to live with my dad.
We lived in a run down apartment. We had enough money to buy a nicer place, more food, nicer clothes. We would, if my dad hadn't wasted his money on beer, pain pills, weed, and expensive electronics. Things we didn't need, but he convinced himself we did need them. I remember that apartment. He went to go do a job in Florida in the middle of winter, while I froze in that apartment. Huddling under electric blankets, a space heater blowing hot air on me. But it was still 40 degrees because the landlord refused to fix the heater, and I was young and didn't know I could've just reported her for inhumane living conditions.
Eventually we moved twice, and then he went to prison for trying to take a loaded gun, weed, and pain pills to a job in Oklahoma. He was with my eldest brother who was carrying meth on him. So I left to my moms, again. I lived there for months. Eventually me and my other brother saved enough to move out. Then I was promoted, met the love of my life, and my happy ending came.
But it didn't. My dad got out, moved in with my brother. He asked me for money, help, anything. I could barely take care of myself. Then he moved with my brothers an hour away. I stayed here. He constantly asked me "Daughter, why wont you live with me?" and I would tell him "Do you expect me to quit my job and leave my boyfriend to move in with you?"
Then 3 months ago, his impulsive behavior caused him to take his own life. He had all these problems, all this pain, but it was mostly his own fault. He enabled my brothers, he let them step on him. He didn't put his foot down. He never went to the doctor. He decided to stay with a woman who just moocher, an addict, a cheater. He dug his own grave and then cried "Why me? Why does everything bad happen to me?"
He had other reasons beyond his control. My monstrous stepmom died 5 years ago. My brother died of a drug overdose just 2 months prior. But he could've got through them. He didnt want to take his medication, or talk to anyone about it. He just wanted to give up.
it's funny. I don't hate him. I'm not glad he's dead, in fact, after everything, I miss him. I love him. He was a manchild, an asshole, a drug addict, an alcoholic. But he was still my dad. In his later years, he apologized for it all. He tried to make up for it, he was there for me when I needed him. He was the only parental figure in my life that viewed me as an actual person. So, despite everything, I'm still glad he was my dad. Maybe if he actually took his medication, he would still be here.
Thanks to anyone who got this far. I just wanted to tell my story, and this sub seemed more of a fit than raisedbynarcissists, at least for my dad.
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